#175| How To Spot and Defuse Invisible Triggers Before They Hijack Your Day and Create Overwhelm: Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Do you ever feel like one small thing—like an overflowing trash can or a partner leaving laundry next to the basket—can ruin your entire day?

You’re not alone. For busy working women, little annoyances can feel huge because of the meaning we attach to them. This episode explores why these small triggers feel so overwhelming and how to stop them from stealing your time, energy, and calm.

In this episode, you will:

• Learn the hidden thought patterns that make small annoyances feel so big.
• Discover the one simple question you can ask yourself to break the trigger spiral.
• Walk away with a quick mental tool to reset your mood and protect your productivity.

Press play now to learn how to stop letting everyday annoyances control your mood and reclaim your calm in minutes.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Episode Transcript

Michelle Gauthier (00:07):
What would your reaction be if your partner
or spouse left their laundryright next to, but not in the
laundry basket?
You're listening to overwhelmedworking woman the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.

(00:27):
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed
Working Woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
working woman experiences andin each episode you'll get a
strategy to bring more calm,ease and relaxation to your life
to bring more calm, ease andrelaxation to your life.

(00:53):
Hi, friends, today we're goingto be talking about those small
and specific triggers that candrive you crazy and even
potentially ruin your day oryour next interaction at the
very least.
I'm talking about this todaybecause the other day I was in
the middle of a workday.
It was a workday where I had alot of things back to back and
in between clients.
I ran to my kitchen, as I oftendo, and I got a big glass of
ice and poured myself a spindrift, which is my current

(01:16):
favorite drink of the moment,and I went to go put it in the
recycling and I pulled out wehave trash and recycling and
like a little pull out cabinetand I pulled it out and it had
been piled so hot that the canson the top, when I pulled it out
to add my can to the top,spilled over, spilling coke zero
on me and on the floor for meto have to clean up.

(01:40):
And I was so mad and I was madat you know who?
I was mad at my handsome manfriend because he is the only
one who drinks Coke Zero, so Iknew very well who had added two
cans to an already full recyclebin.
It could have just as easilybeen either one of my children,
but I knew exactly who had doneit and I was mad about it.

(02:01):
So I yelled down the basementstairs.
He was working in his officedown the basement at my house
and I yelled down the stairs,"you are killing me with these
cans up here?
And he just responded nothing,which then I thought how dare he
?
Doesn't he see how busy I am?
Doesn't he see how many thingsI have to do?

(02:23):
Does he seriously just notnotice that the trash can is
about to overflow?
Now, to be honest, he's oftenthe one who takes the trash out,
probably more than I do.
So this was a little bit of anoverreaction on my part and it
got me thinking.
Why are there certain thingsthat just put us over the edge,
that trigger us into a bad moodthat might last an hour or more

(02:47):
or even a whole day?
So I made a post and asked youguys hey, what are some of the
little triggers?
Not a huge deal, nothing that'sactually traumatic, but just a
small trigger that drives youcrazy.
And you had so many opinions.
I will tell you the range ofthings that were annoying the
crap out of you guys in onesecond.
But I want to tell you thattoday we're going to talk about

(03:07):
why these little triggers feelso big and common triggers that
I see all the time that you guysreported to me.
And then a quick tool to stopthe spiral.
Because you have the right,like I had the right, to be
annoyed for the whole rest ofthe day about the coke zero
spilling on my foot in my floor,but I really didn't want to.
I didn't feel like letting thatbe the reason I was off my game

(03:31):
.
So if you notice yourself doingthat and you want to stop, I'm
going to tell you a quick way,just a little quick tool to use
to stop the spiral and just getback to what you were doing
before the annoyance.
The other thing I need to remindyou before we get all the way
into the episode is that we aredoing the declutter challenge
starting on September 15th, so Iwant to remind you to register

(03:54):
for that.
It is going to be lots of funand it is going to be extremely
useful to you.
I've designed this challenge sothat you can spend however much
time you have between five and30 minutes per day or more if
you've got more time to do it todeclutter different things.
So one example of what we'll bedoing is decluttering your
calendar and your commitments.

(04:15):
We're also going to look atdigital, like your home screen
on your phone or your emailinbox, and we're gonna look at
physical things like maybe yourjunk drawer or your purse.
So come and join us for thisfun five-day decluttering.
I see all the time that one ofthe major causes of overwhelm is
clutter in all of the variousforms that I just discussed.

(04:36):
There's a link in the shownotes for you to register.
When you register, you will getall the instructions and a
beautiful workbook to follow,along with the daily podcast I'm
also going to.
For people who register andgive me feedback, like tell me
what they did that day or ask mea question or share a win with
me, your name will get enteredinto a drawing and there will be

(04:57):
prizes every day.
It's going to be super fun andalso it's $17.
It's a no brainer.
Sign up and get ready to have adecluttered fall.
Doesn't that sound lovely?
All right, let's get back towhat was really annoying you
guys.
It was funny when I made thispost.
I got so much engagement andeverybody was like commenting on
everybody else's stuff.
And I think it's funny becauseeverything that was on the list,

(05:19):
like there were themes.
There was kind of the everydaydisrespect or thoughtlessness,
like the example I gave aboutthe trash, but there was not
returning shopping carts.
Leaving dirty clothes next tothe hamper but not in it,
leaving dirty dishes or food inthe sink, leaving empty
containers in the fridge my kidstotally do this move, like if

(05:40):
it's empty, they just put itback in the fridge.
Or like if the shampoo's out,it's just in the shower, empty.
Someone mentioned it was atrigger when people spell a lot,
like it's one word instead oftwo words, or people misusing
there, there, there.
You know when I say that outloud it sounds all the same, but
you, you know what I mean.
There were lots of triggersaround other people's driving,
so people who don't know how todo the zipper merge, or people

(06:01):
who drive in the fast lane onthe highway even when they're
not going fast enough to bethere.
So there's all these differentthings and as I'm reading
through the list myself, I'mlike, yeah, all those things are
annoying.
I agree, they're all annoying,but there are very few of them
that would actually make me madenough to be upset for more than
two seconds, and for me, it wasthe trash can.

(06:22):
That was the one that pushed meover the edge.
So let's just talk about whathappens when we get mad.
So I'm going to go back to myparticular example of the Coke
Zero spilling out of the trashcan and onto my foot and onto
the floor.
It's not the thing.
It's not the Coke Zerolandingilling out of the trash
can and onto my foot and ontothe floor.
It's not the thing.
It's not the Coke Zero landingon my foot that ruins my day.
It's the way that I'm thinkingabout it and what I make it mean

(06:45):
.
So a great question to askyourself when you get upset like
that is, what did I just makethat mean?
So what I made it mean is noone cares about me.
No one cares if I'm busy or not.
Everyone expects me to doeverything.
No one respects me.
That is so rude andinconsiderate.
I'm sure there's more, butthose are the first kind of five

(07:07):
thoughts that come to my head.
So if you think about the ideaof me like having to bend over
and pick up a Coke Zero and thengrab a rag and wipe up this
drop on the floor, it's not thatbig of a deal.
But if I'm telling myself thatwhat that means is no one
respects me and no one sees allthe work that I'm doing in this
house that kind of thought youcan see why that made me in a

(07:29):
bad mood and made me feel likeI'm working so hard and nobody
even cares.
Nobody helps me.
Nobody helps me is one of myfavorite thoughts to think when
I'm in a frustrated mood.
So if you can do that, if youcan just ask yourself okay,
someone just cut me off becausethey don't know how to do a
zipper merge, what did I justmake that mean?
Oh, that person in front of methinks that they're so much more

(07:52):
important than I am and thatwherever they're going is more
important than where I'm going,and they just don't care about
following the rules for societyand they think they're better
than me.
And when you get into all thesethoughts that you're having,
that your brain has made thisperson cutting you off
purposefully or accidentally infront of you, it makes sense
that it puts you in a really badmood.

(08:13):
I have a couple friends who aresuper timely and they get so
annoyed when someone is late andthe reason why they get so
annoyed when someone is latebecause they have thoughts like
I made the time to get her ontime.
Am I just not important to you?
No one values my time, no onecares about my time, they don't
respect me, they're always likethis, I can't count on anyone.

(08:35):
So you can see that when youmake someone being late mean all
those things why it makes youso mad.
So a great way to diffuse thetrigger is just to ask yourself
this what did my brain just makethat mean?
And then neutralize it bysaying is, that story 100% true?
Then try something moregrounded.

(08:56):
So if I try this method onmyself and I say nobody cares
about me, or that I'm busy orthat I don't have time to take
out the trash today, they justpile it up for me to do later
and no one respects me.
And I ask myself is that story100% true?
So no, that story is probablymore like 1% true than 100% true

(09:18):
.
And then I can come up withsomething more grounded like wow
, we all must be really busytoday and just move on.
If you have a trigger likesometimes, people will get
triggered by a certain personposting anything.
You know that person on socialmedia where you're like, oh gag,
yes, your life is perfect,whatever.
If you get that kind of trigger, see what your brain is making

(09:42):
that mean.
It's probably making that meanthat your life sucks or your
life is boring or you're such abetter person than that.
And then ask yourself is thatstory 100% true?
And see if you can find alittle wiggle room for it and
find a more neutral thought,like that person made a post and
without having too many morethoughts about it.

(10:03):
Again, like I said at thebeginning, if you want to get
triggered by this and you'reokay being in a bad mood about
it, you you can if you want to,but if you don't want to you
don't want to waste your timebeing mad about the stupid trash
can then use this method toquestion it what did my brain
make this mean?
And neutralize it.
Ask is that story 100% true?

(10:24):
And just try to come up with amore neutral way to think about
it.
These invisible triggers arejust part of life.
For example, there's no grouplesson on zipper merging that
the whole humanity is going totake to learn how to drive in
the way that you see fit.
Like that's just not going tohappen and the goal isn't to
never get triggered, it's justto notice it more quickly and

(10:47):
recover faster, like, oh yes,that's the thing that drives me
crazy, but I'm just going to letthat go now.
Start watching for these sneakymoments this week.
See where you find them.
Somebody else said when theytype a whole text and somebody
just writes back K like oneletter word K, that they hate
that.
So just see what it is for youand find out what your brain

(11:07):
makes that mean, and that'llhelp you see why it's annoying
you so much.
Okay, that's it for today.
Have a great rest of the dayand don't forget to register for
the declutter challenge.
It's going to be lots of funand super useful.
See you next week.

(11:28):
Thank you for listening to theoverwhelmed working woman
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegauthier.
com.
See you next week.