#188| Why Your Calendar Is Lying to You About Your Time (and What to Do About It): Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Ever looked at your calendar and thought, “It’s not even that full—so why do I feel so overwhelmed?”

In this episode, Michelle uncovers a hidden reason most people feel stressed and short on time: what’s on your calendar doesn’t actually represent how much energy and attention your commitments really take. From orthodontist appointments to dinner parties, she breaks down the unseen “time tax” that drains your focus and fuels burnout.

Listeners will learn:

• How to uncover the invisible hours hiding behind each calendar event
• Simple strategies to make your schedule reflect real life—not wishful thinking
• How adding realistic buffers creates calm, control, and clarity throughout your week

Press play now to finally see your schedule for what it really is—and start managing your time and energy with total honesty.

Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.

Send Me a Message - Have a question, comment, or just want to say hi? Message me here, I'd love to chat!

Work With Me - Interested in working with me 1-on-1, taking a class, or joining one of my coaching groups? Message me here to get the scoop.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Episode Transcript

MichelleGauthier (00:00):
What's on your calendar doesn't necessarily
reflect the reality.
You're listening to OverwhelmedWorking Woman, the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed
Working Woman and current lifecoach.

(00:21):
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
Working Woman experiences.
And in each episode, you'll geta strategy to bring more calm,
ease, and relaxation to yourlife.
Hi friends, today I'm here witha reminder that you may have
heard before from me, or maybeyou haven't.

(00:42):
But I want to remind you todayin this episode, because I just
had something happen to me thisweek that drove it home for
sure.
Sometimes what something lookslike on your calendar and the
amount of time and space itactually takes up, either
physically or mentally, do notmatch up.
When you listen today, you'regoing to learn that what is on
your calendar isn't necessarilyrealistically reflecting the

(01:04):
amount of time and energy thatit's going to take and how those
hidden costs, like the hiddentime that doesn't show up on the
calendar, adds up over time andwhy that can make us feel
overwhelmed, even when we'rethinking, why am I so
overwhelmed?
It was just a one-hourappointment.
Before I jump into that, I wantto say thanks to the people who

(01:28):
have recently left new ratingsand reviews for the podcast.
One of them said Michelle isthe antidote to overwhelm.
She is calm, clear, andencouraging.
And I love this podcast.
So thank you so much, Shanna,for that shout out.
And if you are a listener whohas not yet given a rating or
review, it would be wonderful ifyou could take a few minutes to

(01:50):
do that.
I would so appreciate it.
Really helps the podcast getshown in so many more places.
Okay, let's get to it here.
So here's what happened in mylife this week.
Number one, my 14-year-olddaughter got her braces off.
Yay! So exciting after all thistime.
And it really got me thinking -she had a one-hour appointment

(02:10):
on Monday morning to get herbraces off.
So what showed on my calendarwas like Josie getting her
braces off at, you know, 8 a.m.
on Monday morning.
But what it actually took, theappointment was exactly an hour.
That was correct.
But I didn't factor in the timeit was going to take us to get
there, the time it was going totake to get home, the call that

(02:31):
I had to make to the dentistafter the appointment to
schedule something forfollow-up, the call that I had
to make to school to let themknow that she was going to be
late, the groceries that Iordered because her mouth was
kind of sore and hurting and shewanted chicken noodle soup for
dinner.
So I made chicken noodle soupfor dinner.
So this one hour appointmentreally was more like two hours,

(02:51):
maybe even more than that, in mymind and in my physical time
that I spent doing things.
And it really made me thinkabout no, honestly, getting
braces and having straight teethis such a first world problem
and something that people ofprivilege are able to do.
So I am not overlooking thefact that I'm grateful that we

(03:14):
have to do this.
But when I started thinkingabout how much time, and the
reason why I was thinking aboutthis is because every time I
walk into orthdontist, I'm like,ugh, I hate it here.
I can't stand this place.
And I've really tried to changemy mindset around it, and it
just always comes back to that.
So I was kind of trying to diginto it.
And I thought it's because it'ssuch a time suck.
There are so many appointmentsthat have to happen to go from

(03:36):
like, do you need braces tookay, you had them and now
everything's fixed.
So I actually called theorthodontist as I was starting
to write this podcast and asked,hey, how many appointments has
my daughter had?
And how many appointments didmy son have?
And what I found out is thatshe had 54 appointments over the
course of many years, and hehad 59 appointments.

(03:57):
Each appointment looked like asimple one-hour block on my
calendar, but when I added itup, the driving, the waiting,
the follow-up, each visit wasrealistically more like 90
minutes.
So if you do the math, I'll doit for you so you don't have to
do it in your head.
54 visits times 90 minutes plus59 visits for 90 minutes is
169.5 hours total.

(04:19):
That is the equivalent of overfour full-time work weeks.
So over the course of the pastfew years, I have spent an
entire month of work weeks atthe Orthodonist or calling the
Orthodonist or thinking aboutthe orthodontist.
But if you would have peeked atmy calendar maybe like once a
month, you would have seen anappointment on there for an

(04:40):
hour.
So I just, as I saw this, firstof all, I patted myself on the
back big time.
Look at me.
There were almost none of thoseappointments.
I think my parents might havetaken one of them one time when
I was desperate for it.
And my son was able to drivehimself at the very end of his.
But other than that, it was forsure me doing each and every
one of those appointments.
So I did definitely pat myselfon the back.

(05:02):
And then I started thinkingabout this, and we've talked
about this on the podcast beforethat what's on your calendar
doesn't necessarily reflect thereality.
And our calendar can sometimesgive the illusion of simplicity,
like that one hour spot.
But the story is usuallybigger.
Prep and logistics andemotional energy and recovery,

(05:25):
et cetera.
I'm sharing this with you todayso that you can think about it.
And we had a guest on a whileago who talked about as women,
we need to have space in ourcalendars for these kinds of
things that come up.
So yes, you mark the one houron there, but you also need an
extra half hour on each side.
So if you look at your calendarand you think about, okay, this

(05:47):
looks like it's going to be aone-hour meeting, but after that
meeting, I'm going to need 30minutes to download.
Can you block that on yourcalendar?
Can you make your calendarreflect reality?
That's a challenge that I giveyou for this week.
The other thing to think aboutis that the hidden costs of this
add up kind of everywhere.

(06:07):
It isn't if you're a person whodoesn't have kids and you're
not taking anyone to theOrthodontist, think about
hosting a dinner party.
And on your calendar it sayslike friends for dinner at six.
But in reality, especially atleast when it's me, I'm planning
the menu, grocery shopping,cooking, cleaning, hosting,
cleaning up after so thatthree-hour event is really more

(06:31):
like over the course of a week,you know, five or six hours.
It's five or six hours that Ireally enjoy spending.
And when I have my girlfriendsover for dinner, I absolutely
love it.
But it needs to be reflected inmy calendar when I'm spending
that time so that I realize howmuch time and effort I'm putting
into things.
Because otherwise, for example,if I really did have all my

(06:52):
friends over for dinner, itwould indeed just be on Friday
night.
But it's good for me to be ableto see it if I were to go back
and reflect reality to say,okay, on Tuesday night I'm going
to spend an hour planning themenu.
On Wednesday, I'm going toorder the food.
On Thursday, I'm going to prepsome things.
On Friday, I'm going to set thetable around lunchtime, et
cetera.
You know, all the differentthings that you have to do.

(07:14):
It's the same with travel,doctor's appointments, even
quick errands, those hidden timesucks just sort of sneak in
everywhere.
And the last thing I want toremind you of is that you're
not, sometimes people will say,I don't know why I'm
overwhelmed.
I don't feel like I have thatmuch on my calendar.
So if you just looked at mymonth worth of orthodontia over

(07:36):
time, I might have said, I don'tknow why this is so
overwhelming to me.
I don't know why I feel likeI'm doing so much.
That's why.
Because it's taking way moretime, mental and physical time,
than it looks like it's goingto.
So what I challenge you to dothis week is just to right now,
unless you're driving, then doit when you stop.

(07:56):
But right now, take a look atyour calendar for the week and
see if it is reflecting realityor if you should add some buffer
time on either side of it, orif you should just add like some
time on your calendar to makephone calls, like I had to call
the dentist and I had to dothings like that.
Should you build that into yourcalendar?
And that way your calendar moreaccurately reflects how much

(08:19):
time you really have.
So, for example, if we thinkabout my example of having
people over for dinner on Fridaynight, and if I went to my
calendar and I put on an houreach night to work on different
things, and somebody said, Hey,do you want to go to dinner on
Tuesday?
I look at my calendar and belike, Oh, I actually don't
because I'm doing like a lot ofprep every night this week.
So I really don't want to go todinner.

(08:40):
It just helps you make betterdecisions when you can see on
your calendar what is realistic,how much time things are really
going to take you.
That's it for this week,friends.
As always, if you're feelingoverwhelmed and you don't know
why, you can click on the linkin the show notes to take the
overwhelm quiz.
It will give you specificsabout why you're feeling
overwhelmed and even give youfree tools to help you solve

(09:04):
that problem.
Have a great week.
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed Working Woman
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at MichelleGauthier.com.
See you next week.