Are you exhausted from trying to “do it all” and wondering why life still feels chaotic no matter how hard you work?
In this episode, you’ll hear how my former client Amanda, a full-time realtor, mom of two, and former perfectionist, realized she didn’t need more hours, better organization, or 4 a.m. wake-ups—she just needed a new way to think about her time, boundaries, and emotional management. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, stuck in survival mode, or convinced that chaos is simply “how life is,” this conversation is going to feel wonderfully familiar and incredibly freeing.
In this episode:
- You’ll learn how a to-don’t list can instantly relieve pressure and help you take back control of your schedule.
- You’ll hear how letting go of perfectionism frees up mental energy and stops the burnout cycle.
- You’ll discover practical tools—from visualization to boundaries to outsourcing—that make daily life feel lighter, calmer, and more manageable.
Press play now to learn simple, life-changing strategies that will help you feel more grounded, less overwhelmed, and fully in control of your day.
Featured on the podcast
Check out Amanda's podcast, Behind the White Coat
Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.
Send Me a Message - Have a question, comment, or just want to say hi? Message me here, I'd love to chat!
Work With Me - Interested in working with me 1-on-1, taking a class, or joining one of my coaching groups? Message me here to get the scoop.
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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Michelle Gauthier (00:00):
You know that feeling when you're spinning
all the plates, work, home,kids, meals, errands, and that
everything is just about to fallapart.
You're listening to OverwhelmedWorking Woman, the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed
(00:22):
Working Woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
Working Woman experiences.
And in each episode, you'll geta strategy to bring more calm,
ease, and relaxation to yourlife.
Hi, friends.
Thanks for joining today.
Today I'm joined by my formerclient Amanda.
(00:43):
She is a full-time realtor inNashville, a mom of two, and the
host of her very own podcastcalled Behind the White Coat.
Amanda came to me exhausted andoverwhelmed, and most
problematically believed thatlife was just supposed to be
this way.
But today you're going to hearwhat happened.
Instead of that, you will learnhow she went from feeling
(01:05):
constantly overwhelmed to calmlyin control without quitting her
job or waking up at 4 a.m.
The surprising power of a todon't list, because sometimes
the things we choose not to docan really be life-changing.
And then why perfectionism wasdraining her energy and how she
learned to let go withoutlowering her standards.
I feel like her story is superrelatable.
(01:26):
Lots of people who I work withcome to me with these same kinds
of problems and feelings.
And so I thought it would be agreat reminder to each of you
that you really don't have to domore to feel better.
Sometimes you just need a newway to think about it.
Before we dive into thisconversation with Amanda, I
wanted to tell you about twothings that are coming up.
The first is Black Friday.
(01:46):
I'm going to be doing a BlackFriday special.
If you've been around a while,you know that every year in
January, I do a class calledYour Best Year 2026.
Well, it's not always called2026, but you know what I mean.
And that class helps you set upyour year with goals,
intentions, a word of the year,etc.
And I'm going to be sellingthat on Black Friday along with
(02:10):
an accountability group thatgoes for the entire year.
So you can have your entirebest year of 2026.
It's a monthly group coaching,and you even have the option to
add on one-on-one coachingsessions.
So if you've been thinkingabout dipping your toes in the
water of working with me, lookout for Black Friday because
you're going to have a greatchance to do that and really
(02:31):
make a difference in your 2026,and it's going to be at a huge
discount.
So watch out for that.
Okay, let's jump into thisconversation with Amanda.
Amanda, thank you so much forbeing willing to come on the
podcast and tell everyone aboutyour experience.
Tell us how you felt beforecoaching and kind of why you
decided to work with a coach ingeneral.
Amanda Baron (02:53):
Yeah.
Thank you for having me here.
I'm excited to share with youand your listeners.
So I felt just like a constantchaos that I was coordinating
this chaotic life and this wasjust how it was always going to
be.
As far as working full time, myhusband working all the time.
(03:14):
I had two kids in two differentdirections, two different
schools, and kind of spinning mywheels and trying to just
figure it out.
You know, I think just like allof us are, but I thought, okay,
if I was more organized, if Iworked more hours, if I got up
earlier, just all the things andwas kind of burning the candle
at both ends.
Michelle Gauthier (03:35):
Yes.
And I think it's important tonote too that your job, your
full-time job is to sell homes,which doesn't really have hours
necessarily.
You're not working like a nineto five type job.
And that your spouse has a jobwhere he works a lot of hours
and is on call and things likethat sometimes.
So you're doing a vast majorityof like the meal preparation
(03:57):
and those kinds, even thoughhe's helpful, great guy, you're
still doing a lot of the stuffat home.
Amanda Baron (04:03):
He's not home very often and having to do most of
the home management stuff andstill have a life outside of
work and one that you enjoy andtrying to bring in boundaries
and all the things.
Michelle Gauthier (04:16):
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
So then once we got intocoaching, how did you know that
it was working?
Like where did you seeimprovements or when did you
start to feel a little bitbetter?
Amanda Baron (04:28):
Well, from our very first call, I felt a
million times better.
When your voice is just socalming.
Michelle Gauthier (04:34):
Oh my gosh. Thank you.
Amanda Baron (04:35):
T So I felt better immediately.
But after honestly, the firstcoaching session, because it was
nice to just get it off mychest.
And then it was like, okay,let's come up with a plan.
Like you were ready to come upwith a plan.
We were ready to attack it.
And just bit by bit, orcoaching session by coaching
session, we devised kind of anorder of priorities and how we
(04:59):
were going to work those tipsand implement the strategies
that you were giving me.
Michelle Gauthier (05:05):
So what was the number one?
What was first on that list ofpriorities?
What did you have to attackfirst?
Amanda Baron (05:12):
Oh gosh.
I had I had a lot of thingsthat I needed to work on, but
what you helped me reallyreflect on was a lot of what I
was putting on myself.
So I am this perfectionist,which as we know, nothing ever
is perfect.
But why I was creating this formyself and these feelings for
(05:32):
myself, and then kind ofrealizing, hey, it it's okay to
not have a hundred things on mylist.
Let's get rid of thesenon-important ones that I felt
like were just at the very topof my list.
But once I really started tolook at them, they were not
nearly as important as Ithought.
And we dwindled it down to,okay, these top 10 things are
(05:52):
what I need to focus on today.
And then it made things muchmore doable and in the
bite-sized chunks where I didn'tfeel quite so overwhelmed.
Michelle Gauthier (06:02):
Yes, that's so great.
And I think your tendency to bea perfectionist has probably
helped you do really highquality work, but it's
impossible for anyone to do thatperfectionist, high-quality
work 100% of the time withoutlosing their mind.
It's too much for any meremortal to handle.
So I think that's great if youcould gently realize that about
(06:25):
yourself.
And then the other thing islike we would be talking about,
say, how you onboard a newclient or when you were starting
your podcast or, you know, anyof those things, and you would
have thoughts like, I don't knowwhat I'm doing, and I'm not
organized on this at all.
And I'd say, Okay, well, tellme what you've got.
And you've got like everything,you know, like your brain would
always tell you, I don't knowwhat to do, and I don't know
(06:47):
what I'm doing.
And then you would have thewhole entire thing laid out.
I'm like, okay, so that'sbasically all planned and done.
Amanda Baron (06:52):
Right, right.
Yeah.
No, you definitely helped mevisualize that and and be able
to see that it doesn't have tobe perfect to actually be okay
and to to just kind of put itout there and then it kind of
evolves over time.
But a lot of times I was one ofthose where it's just, what is
it, paralysis by analysis, whereI didn't make any decisions and
(07:14):
then that just increased myanxiety, where us talking about
it made me realize I do have alot of this mapped out.
And it's okay to not have it ahundred percent figured out.
Michelle Gauthier (07:24):
Yes, absolutely.
Another thing I think back ontoo is how many things that you
we talked about and you justcross off your list entirely.
Just parts of your job that youdidn't enjoy doing or things
where you were going above andbeyond, and you're like, I don't
even like it.
Because going above and beyondwhen it's something that you
love is one thing, but when youdon't even like it, it's just
(07:47):
putting unnecessary pressure onyourself.
So I think every time wescratch something off the list,
like entirely and forever, was ahuge win too.
Amanda Baron (07:55):
It was, and I felt instantly better because that's
something that I didn't reallywant to do or didn't enjoy
doing.
I kept moving it down on myto-do list, and then it created
more anxiety as my to-do listgrew, looking at the long list
of things, but also things Ididn't want to do.
And then you helped me tobasically visualize okay, what's
(08:16):
gonna happen if you don't dothis?
And it was like, well, nothingreally.
It it was just this thought,this story, again, that I
created in my mind, and it wasvery freeing to just let it go.
Michelle Gauthier (08:28):
Okay, good.
That's a great example.
What would you say?
This is actually a greatquestion for you specifically,
because we uh finished coachinglike a year ago.
Yeah, I don't remember theexact date, but it's been a
while.
So what was the best thing youlearned in coaching or something
that you continue to use evennow?
Amanda Baron (08:48):
So one of my favorite things, well, there's
actually two.
Two of my favorite things thatI still use to this day was, you
know, I love my morning cup ofcoffee outside, and you taught
me to visualize, visualize whatyour day looks like today, and
then also visualize what itwould look like in a month from
now or two months from now.
(09:09):
And I still to this day dothat.
I love to do that in themorning to kind of set the tone
for the day, but then alsovisualize a few goals and how
I'm gonna get there.
So that has been huge for me.
And then my to-don't list thatyou taught me.
And sometimes I'm not perfectat it, and sometimes the list
(09:29):
changes depending on my seasonof life, but that to- don't list
is just as important as yourto-do list.
Michelle Gauthier (09:37):
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Can you think of anythingthat's on your to-don't list
right now that you could shareas an example for people?
Amanda Baron (09:44):
So going back to what you were talking about with
being in real estate, a lot oftimes those boundary lines get
blurred.
So I've been working reallyhard on trying to network on
Sundays.
Sometimes you have to give alittle bit, especially for
out-of-town clients, but havinga plan implemented already, if I
do have an out-of-town clientcoming.
(10:06):
So I've got other agents thathelp me in outsource, and then
trying to not work past sixo'clock.
Michelle Gauthier (10:14):
Okay, that's great.
I think that's great.
And the great thing abouthaving a to-don't list is you
don't have to evaluate everytime.
Every time somebody asks you,can we go see houses on Sunday?
You're like, ah, I don't dothat.
And because it's your list, youcan decide from time to time to
make an exception.
And I think it's so much morepowerful to do it that way and
say, This is on my to-don'tlist, but I'm choosing to do it
(10:36):
because whatever the reason is,and it's just this one time, and
then I'm gonna go back to that.
So I think it's empoweringeither way, even if you decide
to go ahead and do it.
Sometimes for me, just workingon Saturday for like two hours,
working on the weekends on myto-don't list too, but sometimes
it makes me feel better than ifI had a whole day to not work.
(10:57):
So you just have to figure itout sometimes.
Amanda Baron (11:00):
I agree.
It helps with the wholedecision fatigue.
Michelle Gauthier (11:04):
Yeah, exactly.
You just it's just off thelist.
Okay, what was your favoritething about coaching?
Amanda Baron (11:11):
I looked forward to it every week.
I think one, it was just timethat I set aside for myself,
strictly just to work on myselfand the things that I needed.
And I feel like we don't getenough of that.
So I loved that.
And then the various differenttools that you taught me to
implement, but also to reallysit in the feelings that I'm
(11:35):
having and kind of feel those,recognize those, and then decide
how we're moving forward fromthat.
And that taught me a lotbecause a lot of times I would
just say, I'll figure this out,I always do, I'll get through
this, and not really taking asecond to feel those feelings,
acknowledge those feelings, andthen move on.
(11:58):
And sometimes I feel like thosefeelings are what affect you
over and over and over again.
And when I finally wouldrecognize them, you instantly
felt better about whatever wasmaking you feel that way.
Or you taught me, okay, well,how do we remove what's making
you feel that way?
And so I loved, loved thosesessions with you.
(12:21):
And I felt like when I walkedaway every single week, I felt
so much lighter and I had a planof action.
Michelle Gauthier (12:29):
Oh, that's awesome.
I'm so glad.
Thank you.
That makes me so happy to hearthat answer.
I totally agree with you onfeelings.
I used to say, like, I don'thave time to be sad, or that
pisses me off, but I can't bemad about it.
I'm way too busy for suchthings, which is so silly.
But all that does is justpushes them down to the bottom
of your guts and then they comeback up and they push them down
(12:51):
and they come back up.
Yes, exactly.
So it's like, go ahead and justcry and be sad and see how that
makes you feel because you'llfeel a lot more relief if you
can do that, but it's notefficient.
And when something's notefficient, it's like, I don't
have time for that.
But we do either you have timefor it or your body will make
time for it eventually.
Amanda Baron (13:10):
So true.
We had many crying sessions, mecrying and you listening, and
it was so cathartic for me andnot something that I typically
do.
So, yes, I would say thoseweekly sessions were huge for
me.
Michelle Gauthier (13:26):
Good, good.
I'm so glad.
So, how is your life differentnow than it was before?
Amanda Baron (13:32):
Yeah, so I think, like I said, the tools you
taught me, I still implementevery single day.
And I'm not perfect at it byany means, but I do feel like
I've slowed down a bit.
I could definitely use more ofit, but slowing down to do some
of these things that you taughtme, the visualization, having
(13:53):
the boundaries, the to-donelist, implementing all of those
so that way you are productive,you are feeling better when you
are in these situations thatcause these anxieties, that
cause these past issues that weworked through.
And so I feel like I definitelyhave slowed down a bit.
(14:14):
I am still a work in progressfor sure, but I think that's
helped me too.
Michelle Gauthier (14:19):
Yes, aren't we all right?
And Amanda and I were justcatching up before I started
recording and we were talkingabout back to school and how
that just throws you off yourgame and it can feel super
overwhelming.
I was overwhelmed, be the hostof Overwhelmed Working Woman,
felt overwhelmed for part ofthat time.
So the goal isn't necessarilyto say I'm never overwhelmed
(14:39):
again.
I mean, that'd be fantastic.
I've never seen that actuallyhappen because life stays the
same.
Like you're still a mom of twokids, you're still a realtor,
you still have a spouse whoworks a lot of hours.
So there will always be theopportunity.
But the difference that I'mhearing you say is like having
the tools and knowing what todo.
So knowing I feel sooverwhelmed now, and I also have
(15:00):
this bag of tools that I canget out and use.
And in times of stress, it'snormal to go back to those old
behaviors or ways that you wouldhandle things.
And then we just have to catchourselves and then, you know,
think, okay, I need to visualizehaving a good day.
I need to double check that I'msticking with all my
boundaries, those kinds ofthings.
Amanda Baron (15:21):
Yeah, and knowing you can do it.
So having those bags of toolsand and tricks that you taught
us, I also think helps with ourconfidence.
So I've dealt with this before,I know how to deal with this.
Like I said, still work inprogress, but having the
confidence to put those wherethey belong, to implement them
was huge for me.
Michelle Gauthier (15:41):
Yes.
And I think at the beginningyou said when I asked how you
felt before, you said, well, Ijust felt like life was crazy
and chaotic, and that's how itwas always going to be.
And I think if we can removethe last part of that's how it's
always going to be, thencoaching has been a success.
Because it's like life stillthrows us a lot of chaotic
situations, but knowing what todo with it is really the
(16:02):
difference.
Amanda Baron (16:03):
I totally agree.
Michelle Gauthier (16:04):
Yes.
Okay, now I want to ask you thequestions that I ask everyone
who comes on the podcast.
Number one is what's somethingyou do to make yourself feel
less overwhelmed?
Just like a quick stressreliever.
Amanda Baron (16:16):
Definitely walking for me is huge.
I love to put on podcast books,music, and love to walk.
That's a quick stress stressreliever.
And then you also taught me tooutsource things.
So I'm a big outsourcer now,which helps relieve a lot of
stress.
Michelle Gauthier (16:33):
That's good.
First, it creates stress,right?
When you're giving away tasksand then eventually it relieves
stress.
It's a game changer.
Yes.
And then the second question iswhat's something you
consistently do to save time ordo less?
Amanda Baron (16:47):
So I would say I'm becoming very good at the
outsourcing.
I am a big outsourcer now onordering my groceries.
You taught me that.
So that's a big game changerfor me.
And then just outsourcing allthe things that I either am not
good at or don't want to do.
And it has given me so muchmore time and joy back into my
life.
Michelle Gauthier (17:08):
That is amazing.
I feel like perfectionism doesnot love outsourcing because
that means the person has to doit exactly perfectly or it's
just not gonna work.
And so you have to let go ofsome of that in order to have
somebody else do it, which isn'talways easy, but I really think
it's worth it.
Amanda Baron (17:26):
I completely agree.
And having it done is so muchbetter than waiting for you to
have the perfect time to get itdone perfectly.
Michelle Gauthier (17:33):
Yes.
Yeah, that's such a greatpoint.
Yes.
Amen to that.
Amen.
Well, I know one of the thingsthat we worked together on was
you creating your very ownpodcast, which was actually
something near and dear to myheart, not just because you were
my client, but tell us aboutthe podcast and how that's going
and where people can find it ifthey want to listen.
Amanda Baron (17:53):
Yes.
Well, thanks to you, we got itall mapped out and you helped me
put it in motion.
And I'm ever so grateful.
So it is called Behind theWhite Coat, and it's basically
anywhere you can find podcasts,and it is for physician spouses,
and it's kind of like a supportgroup meets advice column.
(18:15):
So all the things I wishsomebody could have taught me
being married to a physician,and sometimes it's just me on
there giving my personalexperience or advice.
And then sometimes we'll bringin some experts that have a lot
of great tips and tricks inspecific areas of expertise.
And it comes out every singleweek, every Monday, and it's
(18:37):
been really fun.
Michelle Gauthier (18:38):
Yeah, that's so great.
And so one of the things Amandadoes is helps families relocate
to Nashville for if they'regonna do if one of the spouses
or both of the spouses arephysicians and they're gonna do
some training there, or they'regetting a new job there, or
whatever it is.
So this is a great resource foranybody who's married to a
physician, even if you're notmoving to Nashville, although
(19:01):
that does sound really fun.
It's a cool city, but she'sgreat at helping you think
through life as a physicianspouse, which I also used to be,
Amanda, and I have that incommon.
And it was kind of like justfiguring out as you go along.
So I'm so grateful for all thepeople who get to listen to your
podcast and not go in thinking,what am I supposed to be doing
here?
And why is my life so crazy?
(19:22):
Because my spouse is at work24-7.
Amanda Baron (19:25):
Yes, yes.
It is nice to have the extrasupport and know that you're not
in this alone.
These feelings are okay tohave, and you know, it's just a
safe place.
Michelle Gauthier (19:34):
Yes, yes, it's a great podcast.
I've definitely listened to itand I love it.
So I'm impressed that you hadthe time to do that passion
project on top of the busy lifethat you already lead.
So great job on pulling thatoff with being overwhelmed as
little as possible.
Amanda Baron (19:52):
I appreciate that.
And a lot of that goes to youfor helping me map all that out.
So thank you.
Michelle Gauthier (19:57):
I'm so glad.
We'll put the link in the shownotes.
And if you or somebody you knowis married to a physician or is
a physician, send this podcasttheir way.
Amanda Baron (20:06):
Thank you.
Michelle Gauthier (20:12):
Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed
Working Woman podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegauthier.com.
See you next week.
You know that feeling when you're spinning
all the plates, work, home,kids, meals, errands, and that
everything is just about to fallapart.
You're listening to OverwhelmedWorking Woman, the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed
(00:22):
Working Woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
Working Woman experiences.
And in each episode, you'll geta strategy to bring more calm,
ease, and relaxation to yourlife.
Hi, friends.
Thanks for joining today.
Today I'm joined by my formerclient Amanda.
(00:43):
She is a full-time realtor inNashville, a mom of two, and the
host of her very own podcastcalled Behind the White Coat.
Amanda came to me exhausted andoverwhelmed, and most
problematically believed thatlife was just supposed to be
this way.
But today you're going to hearwhat happened.
Instead of that, you will learnhow she went from feeling
(01:05):
constantly overwhelmed to calmlyin control without quitting her
job or waking up at 4 a.m.
The surprising power of a todon't list, because sometimes
the things we choose not to docan really be life-changing.
And then why perfectionism wasdraining her energy and how she
learned to let go withoutlowering her standards.
I feel like her story is superrelatable.
(01:26):
Lots of people who I work withcome to me with these same kinds
of problems and feelings.
And so I thought it would be agreat reminder to each of you
that you really don't have to domore to feel better.
Sometimes you just need a newway to think about it.
Before we dive into thisconversation with Amanda, I
wanted to tell you about twothings that are coming up.
The first is Black Friday.
(01:46):
I'm going to be doing a BlackFriday special.
If you've been around a while,you know that every year in
January, I do a class calledYour Best Year 2026.
Well, it's not always called2026, but you know what I mean.
And that class helps you set upyour year with goals,
intentions, a word of the year,etc.
And I'm going to be sellingthat on Black Friday along with
(02:10):
an accountability group thatgoes for the entire year.
So you can have your entirebest year of 2026.
It's a monthly group coaching,and you even have the option to
add on one-on-one coachingsessions.
So if you've been thinkingabout dipping your toes in the
water of working with me, lookout for Black Friday because
you're going to have a greatchance to do that and really
(02:31):
make a difference in your 2026,and it's going to be at a huge
discount.
So watch out for that.
Okay, let's jump into thisconversation with Amanda.
Amanda, thank you so much forbeing willing to come on the
podcast and tell everyone aboutyour experience.
Tell us how you felt beforecoaching and kind of why you
decided to work with a coach ingeneral.
Amanda Baron (02:53):
Yeah.
Thank you for having me here.
I'm excited to share with youand your listeners.
So I felt just like a constantchaos that I was coordinating
this chaotic life and this wasjust how it was always going to
be.
As far as working full time, myhusband working all the time.
(03:14):
I had two kids in two differentdirections, two different
schools, and kind of spinning mywheels and trying to just
figure it out.
You know, I think just like allof us are, but I thought, okay,
if I was more organized, if Iworked more hours, if I got up
earlier, just all the things andwas kind of burning the candle
at both ends.
Michelle Gauthier (03:35):
Yes.
And I think it's important tonote too that your job, your
full-time job is to sell homes,which doesn't really have hours
necessarily.
You're not working like a nineto five type job.
And that your spouse has a jobwhere he works a lot of hours
and is on call and things likethat sometimes.
So you're doing a vast majorityof like the meal preparation
(03:57):
and those kinds, even thoughhe's helpful, great guy, you're
still doing a lot of the stuffat home.
Amanda Baron (04:03):
He's not home very often and having to do most of
the home management stuff andstill have a life outside of
work and one that you enjoy andtrying to bring in boundaries
and all the things.
Michelle Gauthier (04:16):
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
So then once we got intocoaching, how did you know that
it was working?
Like where did you seeimprovements or when did you
start to feel a little bitbetter?
Amanda Baron (04:28):
Well, from our very first call, I felt a
million times better.
When your voice is just socalming.
Michelle Gauthier (04:34):
Oh my gosh. Thank you.
Amanda Baron (04:35):
T So I felt better immediately.
But after honestly, the firstcoaching session, because it was
nice to just get it off mychest.
And then it was like, okay,let's come up with a plan.
Like you were ready to come upwith a plan.
We were ready to attack it.
And just bit by bit, orcoaching session by coaching
session, we devised kind of anorder of priorities and how we
(04:59):
were going to work those tipsand implement the strategies
that you were giving me.
Michelle Gauthier (05:05):
So what was the number one?
What was first on that list ofpriorities?
What did you have to attackfirst?
Amanda Baron (05:12):
Oh gosh.
I had I had a lot of thingsthat I needed to work on, but
what you helped me reallyreflect on was a lot of what I
was putting on myself.
So I am this perfectionist,which as we know, nothing ever
is perfect.
But why I was creating this formyself and these feelings for
(05:32):
myself, and then kind ofrealizing, hey, it it's okay to
not have a hundred things on mylist.
Let's get rid of thesenon-important ones that I felt
like were just at the very topof my list.
But once I really started tolook at them, they were not
nearly as important as Ithought.
And we dwindled it down to,okay, these top 10 things are
(05:52):
what I need to focus on today.
And then it made things muchmore doable and in the
bite-sized chunks where I didn'tfeel quite so overwhelmed.
Michelle Gauthier (06:02):
Yes, that's so great.
And I think your tendency to bea perfectionist has probably
helped you do really highquality work, but it's
impossible for anyone to do thatperfectionist, high-quality
work 100% of the time withoutlosing their mind.
It's too much for any meremortal to handle.
So I think that's great if youcould gently realize that about
(06:25):
yourself.
And then the other thing islike we would be talking about,
say, how you onboard a newclient or when you were starting
your podcast or, you know, anyof those things, and you would
have thoughts like, I don't knowwhat I'm doing, and I'm not
organized on this at all.
And I'd say, Okay, well, tellme what you've got.
And you've got like everything,you know, like your brain would
always tell you, I don't knowwhat to do, and I don't know
(06:47):
what I'm doing.
And then you would have thewhole entire thing laid out.
I'm like, okay, so that'sbasically all planned and done.
Amanda Baron (06:52):
Right, right.
Yeah.
No, you definitely helped mevisualize that and and be able
to see that it doesn't have tobe perfect to actually be okay
and to to just kind of put itout there and then it kind of
evolves over time.
But a lot of times I was one ofthose where it's just, what is
it, paralysis by analysis, whereI didn't make any decisions and
(07:14):
then that just increased myanxiety, where us talking about
it made me realize I do have alot of this mapped out.
And it's okay to not have it ahundred percent figured out.
Michelle Gauthier (07:24):
Yes, absolutely.
Another thing I think back ontoo is how many things that you
we talked about and you justcross off your list entirely.
Just parts of your job that youdidn't enjoy doing or things
where you were going above andbeyond, and you're like, I don't
even like it.
Because going above and beyondwhen it's something that you
love is one thing, but when youdon't even like it, it's just
(07:47):
putting unnecessary pressure onyourself.
So I think every time wescratch something off the list,
like entirely and forever, was ahuge win too.
Amanda Baron (07:55):
It was, and I felt instantly better because that's
something that I didn't reallywant to do or didn't enjoy
doing.
I kept moving it down on myto-do list, and then it created
more anxiety as my to-do listgrew, looking at the long list
of things, but also things Ididn't want to do.
And then you helped me tobasically visualize okay, what's
(08:16):
gonna happen if you don't dothis?
And it was like, well, nothingreally.
It it was just this thought,this story, again, that I
created in my mind, and it wasvery freeing to just let it go.
Michelle Gauthier (08:28):
Okay, good.
That's a great example.
What would you say?
This is actually a greatquestion for you specifically,
because we uh finished coachinglike a year ago.
Yeah, I don't remember theexact date, but it's been a
while.
So what was the best thing youlearned in coaching or something
that you continue to use evennow?
Amanda Baron (08:48):
So one of my favorite things, well, there's
actually two.
Two of my favorite things thatI still use to this day was, you
know, I love my morning cup ofcoffee outside, and you taught
me to visualize, visualize whatyour day looks like today, and
then also visualize what itwould look like in a month from
now or two months from now.
(09:09):
And I still to this day dothat.
I love to do that in themorning to kind of set the tone
for the day, but then alsovisualize a few goals and how
I'm gonna get there.
So that has been huge for me.
And then my to-don't list thatyou taught me.
And sometimes I'm not perfectat it, and sometimes the list
(09:29):
changes depending on my seasonof life, but that to- don't list
is just as important as yourto-do list.
Michelle Gauthier (09:37):
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Can you think of anythingthat's on your to-don't list
right now that you could shareas an example for people?
Amanda Baron (09:44):
So going back to what you were talking about with
being in real estate, a lot oftimes those boundary lines get
blurred.
So I've been working reallyhard on trying to network on
Sundays.
Sometimes you have to give alittle bit, especially for
out-of-town clients, but havinga plan implemented already, if I
do have an out-of-town clientcoming.
(10:06):
So I've got other agents thathelp me in outsource, and then
trying to not work past sixo'clock.
Michelle Gauthier (10:14):
Okay, that's great.
I think that's great.
And the great thing abouthaving a to-don't list is you
don't have to evaluate everytime.
Every time somebody asks you,can we go see houses on Sunday?
You're like, ah, I don't dothat.
And because it's your list, youcan decide from time to time to
make an exception.
And I think it's so much morepowerful to do it that way and
say, This is on my to-don'tlist, but I'm choosing to do it
(10:36):
because whatever the reason is,and it's just this one time, and
then I'm gonna go back to that.
So I think it's empoweringeither way, even if you decide
to go ahead and do it.
Sometimes for me, just workingon Saturday for like two hours,
working on the weekends on myto-don't list too, but sometimes
it makes me feel better than ifI had a whole day to not work.
(10:57):
So you just have to figure itout sometimes.
Amanda Baron (11:00):
I agree.
It helps with the wholedecision fatigue.
Michelle Gauthier (11:04):
Yeah, exactly.
You just it's just off thelist.
Okay, what was your favoritething about coaching?
Amanda Baron (11:11):
I looked forward to it every week.
I think one, it was just timethat I set aside for myself,
strictly just to work on myselfand the things that I needed.
And I feel like we don't getenough of that.
So I loved that.
And then the various differenttools that you taught me to
implement, but also to reallysit in the feelings that I'm
(11:35):
having and kind of feel those,recognize those, and then decide
how we're moving forward fromthat.
And that taught me a lotbecause a lot of times I would
just say, I'll figure this out,I always do, I'll get through
this, and not really taking asecond to feel those feelings,
acknowledge those feelings, andthen move on.
(11:58):
And sometimes I feel like thosefeelings are what affect you
over and over and over again.
And when I finally wouldrecognize them, you instantly
felt better about whatever wasmaking you feel that way.
Or you taught me, okay, well,how do we remove what's making
you feel that way?
And so I loved, loved thosesessions with you.
(12:21):
And I felt like when I walkedaway every single week, I felt
so much lighter and I had a planof action.
Michelle Gauthier (12:29):
Oh, that's awesome.
I'm so glad.
Thank you.
That makes me so happy to hearthat answer.
I totally agree with you onfeelings.
I used to say, like, I don'thave time to be sad, or that
pisses me off, but I can't bemad about it.
I'm way too busy for suchthings, which is so silly.
But all that does is justpushes them down to the bottom
of your guts and then they comeback up and they push them down
(12:51):
and they come back up.
Yes, exactly.
So it's like, go ahead and justcry and be sad and see how that
makes you feel because you'llfeel a lot more relief if you
can do that, but it's notefficient.
And when something's notefficient, it's like, I don't
have time for that.
But we do either you have timefor it or your body will make
time for it eventually.
Amanda Baron (13:10):
So true.
We had many crying sessions, mecrying and you listening, and
it was so cathartic for me andnot something that I typically
do.
So, yes, I would say thoseweekly sessions were huge for
me.
Michelle Gauthier (13:26):
Good, good.
I'm so glad.
So, how is your life differentnow than it was before?
Amanda Baron (13:32):
Yeah, so I think, like I said, the tools you
taught me, I still implementevery single day.
And I'm not perfect at it byany means, but I do feel like
I've slowed down a bit.
I could definitely use more ofit, but slowing down to do some
of these things that you taughtme, the visualization, having
(13:53):
the boundaries, the to-donelist, implementing all of those
so that way you are productive,you are feeling better when you
are in these situations thatcause these anxieties, that
cause these past issues that weworked through.
And so I feel like I definitelyhave slowed down a bit.
(14:14):
I am still a work in progressfor sure, but I think that's
helped me too.
Michelle Gauthier (14:19):
Yes, aren't we all right?
And Amanda and I were justcatching up before I started
recording and we were talkingabout back to school and how
that just throws you off yourgame and it can feel super
overwhelming.
I was overwhelmed, be the hostof Overwhelmed Working Woman,
felt overwhelmed for part ofthat time.
So the goal isn't necessarilyto say I'm never overwhelmed
(14:39):
again.
I mean, that'd be fantastic.
I've never seen that actuallyhappen because life stays the
same.
Like you're still a mom of twokids, you're still a realtor,
you still have a spouse whoworks a lot of hours.
So there will always be theopportunity.
But the difference that I'mhearing you say is like having
the tools and knowing what todo.
So knowing I feel sooverwhelmed now, and I also have
(15:00):
this bag of tools that I canget out and use.
And in times of stress, it'snormal to go back to those old
behaviors or ways that you wouldhandle things.
And then we just have to catchourselves and then, you know,
think, okay, I need to visualizehaving a good day.
I need to double check that I'msticking with all my
boundaries, those kinds ofthings.
Amanda Baron (15:21):
Yeah, and knowing you can do it.
So having those bags of toolsand and tricks that you taught
us, I also think helps with ourconfidence.
So I've dealt with this before,I know how to deal with this.
Like I said, still work inprogress, but having the
confidence to put those wherethey belong, to implement them
was huge for me.
Michelle Gauthier (15:41):
Yes.
And I think at the beginningyou said when I asked how you
felt before, you said, well, Ijust felt like life was crazy
and chaotic, and that's how itwas always going to be.
And I think if we can removethe last part of that's how it's
always going to be, thencoaching has been a success.
Because it's like life stillthrows us a lot of chaotic
situations, but knowing what todo with it is really the
(16:02):
difference.
Amanda Baron (16:03):
I totally agree.
Michelle Gauthier (16:04):
Yes.
Okay, now I want to ask you thequestions that I ask everyone
who comes on the podcast.
Number one is what's somethingyou do to make yourself feel
less overwhelmed?
Just like a quick stressreliever.
Amanda Baron (16:16):
Definitely walking for me is huge.
I love to put on podcast books,music, and love to walk.
That's a quick stress stressreliever.
And then you also taught me tooutsource things.
So I'm a big outsourcer now,which helps relieve a lot of
stress.
Michelle Gauthier (16:33):
That's good.
First, it creates stress,right?
When you're giving away tasksand then eventually it relieves
stress.
It's a game changer.
Yes.
And then the second question iswhat's something you
consistently do to save time ordo less?
Amanda Baron (16:47):
So I would say I'm becoming very good at the
outsourcing.
I am a big outsourcer now onordering my groceries.
You taught me that.
So that's a big game changerfor me.
And then just outsourcing allthe things that I either am not
good at or don't want to do.
And it has given me so muchmore time and joy back into my
life.
Michelle Gauthier (17:08):
That is amazing.
I feel like perfectionism doesnot love outsourcing because
that means the person has to doit exactly perfectly or it's
just not gonna work.
And so you have to let go ofsome of that in order to have
somebody else do it, which isn'talways easy, but I really think
it's worth it.
Amanda Baron (17:26):
I completely agree.
And having it done is so muchbetter than waiting for you to
have the perfect time to get itdone perfectly.
Michelle Gauthier (17:33):
Yes.
Yeah, that's such a greatpoint.
Yes.
Amen to that.
Amen.
Well, I know one of the thingsthat we worked together on was
you creating your very ownpodcast, which was actually
something near and dear to myheart, not just because you were
my client, but tell us aboutthe podcast and how that's going
and where people can find it ifthey want to listen.
Amanda Baron (17:53):
Yes.
Well, thanks to you, we got itall mapped out and you helped me
put it in motion.
And I'm ever so grateful.
So it is called Behind theWhite Coat, and it's basically
anywhere you can find podcasts,and it is for physician spouses,
and it's kind of like a supportgroup meets advice column.
(18:15):
So all the things I wishsomebody could have taught me
being married to a physician,and sometimes it's just me on
there giving my personalexperience or advice.
And then sometimes we'll bringin some experts that have a lot
of great tips and tricks inspecific areas of expertise.
And it comes out every singleweek, every Monday, and it's
(18:37):
been really fun.
Michelle Gauthier (18:38):
Yeah, that's so great.
And so one of the things Amandadoes is helps families relocate
to Nashville for if they'regonna do if one of the spouses
or both of the spouses arephysicians and they're gonna do
some training there, or they'regetting a new job there, or
whatever it is.
So this is a great resource foranybody who's married to a
physician, even if you're notmoving to Nashville, although
(19:01):
that does sound really fun.
It's a cool city, but she'sgreat at helping you think
through life as a physicianspouse, which I also used to be,
Amanda, and I have that incommon.
And it was kind of like justfiguring out as you go along.
So I'm so grateful for all thepeople who get to listen to your
podcast and not go in thinking,what am I supposed to be doing
here?
And why is my life so crazy?
(19:22):
Because my spouse is at work24-7.
Amanda Baron (19:25):
Yes, yes.
It is nice to have the extrasupport and know that you're not
in this alone.
These feelings are okay tohave, and you know, it's just a
safe place.
Michelle Gauthier (19:34):
Yes, yes, it's a great podcast.
I've definitely listened to itand I love it.
So I'm impressed that you hadthe time to do that passion
project on top of the busy lifethat you already lead.
So great job on pulling thatoff with being overwhelmed as
little as possible.
Amanda Baron (19:52):
I appreciate that.
And a lot of that goes to youfor helping me map all that out.
So thank you.
Michelle Gauthier (19:57):
I'm so glad.
We'll put the link in the shownotes.
And if you or somebody you knowis married to a physician or is
a physician, send this podcasttheir way.
Amanda Baron (20:06):
Thank you.
Michelle Gauthier (20:12):
Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed
Working Woman podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegauthier.com.
See you next week.
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