#202| Why Hoping for a Perfect Holiday Is a Bad Idea (Unpopular Take): Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Are your holiday expectations secretly setting you up for stress, disappointment, and emotional overload?

If you’ve ever walked into Thanksgiving hoping for perfect behavior, perfect food, and perfectly peaceful family interactions—only to end the day exhausted—you’re not alone. This episode shows you how unrealistic expectations quietly amplify stress and how a simple mindset shift can make your entire holiday calmer and easier.

In this episode, you will:

• Learn the mindset tool that instantly reduces frustration and emotional reactivity on big family days.
• Discover how to predict and prepare for real-life holiday dynamics so nothing catches you off guard.
• Understand how to protect your energy by replacing perfectionistic expectations with reality-based ones.

Press play to learn the simple mental reset that will help you stay grounded, calm, and emotionally steady throughout your entire holiday.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Episode Transcript

Michelle Gauthier (00:00):
It's like putting on your raincoat when
you see the clouds, not becauseyou want it to rain, but because
you're smart enough to planahead for it.
You're listening to OverwhelmedWorking Woman, the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed

(00:22):
Working Woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
Working Woman experiences.
And in each episode, you'll geta strategy to bring more calm,
ease, and relaxation to yourlife.
Happy Thanksgiving to everybodycelebrating here in the U.S.

(00:43):
If you are hosting 12 people orshowing up with a store-bought
pie or hiding from your in-lawsin the laundry room, this
episode is for you.
I have one solid tip for youthat can make your Thanksgiving
day smoother, calmer, and lessemotionally draining.
And if you are not in the USand you don't celebrate

(01:05):
Thanksgiving, this is still agreat tip that you can use on
any old day of life, andespecially when you're getting
together with a whole bunch ofpeople.
So that one tip is lower yourexpectations to match reality.
This is such a simple tip, butit can literally change your
entire day.

(01:26):
So you might go intoThanksgiving thinking everyone
will be grateful and loving andemotionally mature, and nobody's
going to be judgmental and allthe food's going to be great and
all the kids are going to bewell behaved.
Now we know that that is notgoing to happen, but there's
something that happens in ourmind where despite what we know

(01:48):
as reality, for example, youcould look at last year's
Thanksgiving, and maybe thatcould be a predictor for this
year's Thanksgiving.
But somehow in our mind wealways get these high
expectations that everything isjust going to be stress-free and
easy.
So the goal of this tool is tolower your expectations, not
because you're giving up orthinking negatively, but just
accepting reality ahead of timeso that you're not surprised and

(02:11):
resentful all day.
It's like a kindness toyourself, a way to let yourself
off the hook.
So instead of thinking someversion of today's going to be
perfect, think instead, this isprobably going to be chaotic,
but I can handle that.
It's like putting on yourraincoat when you see the
clouds, not because you want itto rain, but because you're

(02:31):
smart enough to plan ahead forit.
So think about this as puttingon your raincoat.
Here are some of theexpectations that I think our
brains offer on big days whereeveryone's getting together for
a holiday, like Thanksgiving.
Everyone will get along and bekind to each other, even if you
have in the past experiencedthis not being true.
And I think a good expectationto have is someone will

(02:52):
definitely say something mildlyoffensive.
And I'll nod and change thesubject or just go refill my
drink or what however I want toreact to that.
And that way, when the mildlyoffensive thing comes out, you
don't have to be upset about it.
You're like, oh, okay, yeah, Iwas right on that.
In fact, sometimes it can befun to play a little game inside
your own mind that you try topredict what's going to happen

(03:14):
in reality.
And when it happens, you giveyourself a point.
It just gamifies and makes itkind of a funny experience that
you're good at guessing whatwill really happen instead of
having high expectations.
If I'm the host and I don'tcheck my expectation, it will be
like dinner will be hot and ontime and it will be perfect and
everybody will love it.
There's no way that's gonnahappen, no matter where you're

(03:35):
eating.
Like something will be cold orlate or somebody forgot to bring
something, and we'll allsurvive anyway.
So have that as yourexpectation.
My kids are older now, but whenthey were little, I used to
always think, well, they knowit's a big day and they're all
dressed up nice, and so they'llprobably be really good today.
Nope.
Nope.
A realistic expectation is thatlittle kids will be kids,

(03:57):
they'll be like overstimulatedand asking for snacks five
minutes after the Thanksgivingdinner because I didn't eat
anything but the rolls.
Just be really realistic abouthow the kids will probably act
today, especially if you havelittler kids.
And then sometimes we get theidea because Thanksgiving is a
holiday, that you'll feel restedand relaxed.

(04:17):
Maybe you will.
That would be great.
But a more realisticexpectation is I might feel
stretched or tired or peopledout by 4 p.m.
And that's totally normal forthe holidays.
And by the way, as a bonus, ifyou do have that expectation and
then you do end up feelingrelaxed all day, great.
You can be wrong about yourexpectation, and then nothing is

(04:38):
lost.
By the way, I want to remind youif you have not listened to the
episode from Monday yet,episode 201, I mentioned on
there that my Black Friday offercomes out tomorrow.
Unless you're a podcastlistener, podcast listeners get
early access.
You can purchase the BlackFriday offer today.
This is the only time I everdiscount my coaching.

(04:59):
And the Black Friday offer thisyear is the your best year
group for all of 2026.
Click on the link in the shownotes to get all of the details.
And listen to Monday's episodeif you want to know even more.
I'd love to have you.
So as you're going into yourThanksgiving day today, think
about what you want yourexpectations to be.

(05:20):
Think about if you were goingto win $100, if what you
predicted as reality and whatreally is reality match up and
try to have very realisticexpectations of what the day
will bring and just enjoy it forwhat it is.
That'll give you justpermission to kind of laugh and
to enjoy the things about theday that are good.

(05:42):
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
You got this.
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed Working Woman
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at MichelleGauthier.com.
See you next week.