#206| How to Break the Hustle Habit by Choosing Presence Over Perfection: Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Are you exhausted from trying to keep up with a life that looks good on the outside but feels overwhelming on the inside?

So many women silently battle the pressure to achieve, overperform, and stay constantly available—yet still wonder why they feel disconnected, frantic, or numb. This episode unpacks the powerful lessons from Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist and shows how slowing down can restore presence, peace, and your true sense of self.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

•  Why your accomplishments have nothing to do with your enoughness
•  How saying “sacred no’s” becomes the doorway to presence and peace
•  What real rest looks like—and why fake rest keeps you exhausted and disconnected

Press play now to learn simple, life-changing shifts that help you reconnect with yourself and create a life that finally feels peaceful.

Featured on the podcast
Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist 

Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Episode Transcript

Michelle Gauthier (00:00):
You are not your accomplishments.
You're listening to OverwhelmedWorking Woman, the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed
Working Woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's

(00:22):
working woman experiences.
And in each episode, you'll geta strategy to bring more calm,
ease, and relaxation to yourlife.
Hi, friend.
Thank you so much for joiningtoday.
Today we are going to betalking about the book Present
Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist.
And I'm going to share some ofher best tips for creating a

(00:44):
life where you feel like you canbe present and calm.
I first want to tell you thoughthat this book, when I read it,
wrecked me.
You know, sometimes you read abook and you're like, oh, that
was good.
And take some things from it.
This book was like, she'slooking into my soul.
She sees my soul.
I don't like my soul right now.
It was at a time when I justdid not know what to do to

(01:06):
change my life.
And so this book was veryinstrumental and it has a big
effect on how I coach my clientstoday.
It is a great book.
Whether you decide to read itor not, listening to today's
podcast will give you some superhelpful tips, which is what I
always aim to provide when I amdoing an episode for you.
Before I jump into the book, Iwant to remind you that since

(01:27):
it's December and we're comingup fast on the new year, that
this is a great time to startone-on-one coaching.
And I have a one spot open forone-on-one coaching right now.
If you have been interested indoing coaching with me and you
think maybe that spot that'sopen is yours, set up a time to
talk to me.
It is a free consultation, nopressure.

(01:50):
You'll tell me what's going onwith you.
I'll explain what we do incoaching.
And maybe you can get startedbefore the year even ends.
Okay, let's jump into this book.
You know, I've chosen about 10of my favorite books to do these
reviews on.
And I have to say it's a lotharder than I thought it was
going to be to do these reviewsbecause it's hard to do justice
to an excellent book in six toten minutes.

(02:12):
So I'm giving you thehigh-level stuff and some
hopefully great takeaways thatyou can take away, even if you
never read the book, you will beable to know if you should read
the book or listen to the bookor however you prefer to consume
books or not.
So I first want to start bysharing with you these two
paragraphs that are at thebeginning of the book where I

(02:32):
was like, oh my, she's seeinginto my soul.
At the beginning of the book,she's married, she's got little
kids, she's an author, she'swritten books, she does a lot of
things with her family, she'sinvolved with our church.
So she's a person who's runningaround doing a million things
all the time.
And so she says, Towards thebeginning of the book, I've
always given my best energy tothings outside myself, believing

(02:55):
that I'd be fine, that I was aworkhorse, that I didn't need
special treatment or babying, orheaven help me, self-care.
Self-care was for the fragile,the special, the dainty.
I was a linebacker, a utilityplayer, a worker be.
I ate on the run, slept in myclothes, worshipped at the altar
of my to-do list.
Ouch.

(03:15):
Ignored the crying out of mybody and soul like they were
nothing more than the buzz ofpesky mosquitoes.
You guys have maybe heard mesay this before, but I went for
years without crying orseemingly getting upset about
anything because this is exactlywhat I was doing.
Hand me everything, I willhandle it.
I don't need to take care ofmyself.

(03:36):
I'm just different.
I can just do everythingwithout any type of break.
And that is how she felt whenshe started this journey.
And what she says by the end isnow I know the best thing I can
offer the world is not my forceor energy, but a well-tended
spirit, a wise and brave soul.
My regrets are how many years Ibruised people with my

(04:00):
fragmented anxious presence, howmany moments of connection I
missed, too busy, too tired, toofrantic, and strung out on the
drug of efficiency.
That paragraph could justalmost make me cry, even right
now.
But now we know there's abetter way.
You don't have to damage yourbody and your soul and the

(04:20):
people you love most in order toget done what you think you
have to get done.
So the whole premise of the bookis how she got from A to B, how
she got from being the personwho was a workhorse and a
linebacker and just go, go, goall the time to being a person
who could be present andpeaceful and really enjoy her

(04:40):
family and her work.
So the biggest lessons that sheteaches in this book are number
one, you are not youraccomplishments, and that your
enoughness is not created by thejob you have or how tidy your
house is or anything that has todo with things that you do.
She talks about how we becomeaddicted to this behavior of

(05:03):
just doing, doing, doing, andshe talks about it like a drug.
I'm gonna read directly fromthe book again.
You can make a drug, a way toanesthesize yourself out of
anything.
Working out, binge watching TV,working, having sex, shopping,
volunteering, cleaning, dieting,any of those things can keep
you from feeling pain for awhile.

(05:23):
That's what drugs do.
And use like a drug over time,shopping or TV or work or
whatever will make you feel lessand less able to connect with
the things that matter, likeyour own heart and the people
you love.
That's another thing drugs do.
They isolate you.
So if you feel like you're aperson who is addicted to the
drug of accomplishments anddoing, this might be a great

(05:47):
book for you to check out.
We really do live in a culturethat rewards and glamorizes
hustle, but this book reminds usthat peace doesn't come from
proving, it comes from pausingand choosing yourself and really
getting to know yourself.
Takeaway number two is saying nois holy.
She calls them sacred no's.
Saying no to things, even goodthings, so that you can say yes

(06:11):
to the right things.
Because when we say yes toeverything, we're actually
saying no to ourselves and ourfamilies and our souls.
Because you just cannot live ameaningful life if you're
available to everyone all thetime.
It's not selfish, it's justwise.
And if you've been listening tothe podcast for a while, you
know that I use a love and fittest to check to see when to say

(06:34):
yes or no.
So the love part is do Iabsolutely love this idea?
And the fit part is, does thisfit into the type of life that I
am trying to create?
So that means sometimes you canreally love the idea of doing
something.
But if you've already got toomuch going on, probably does not
fit into the type of life thatyou're trying to create.

(06:55):
So she talks a lot about sayingno and how saying no is what
really enables the slowing downin order to get to that peaceful
and present state.
And her third takeaway is thatyou have to, in order to get
better from this, that you haveto be able to be slow and sit in
the stillness, and thatslowness isn't laziness, it's

(07:16):
wisdom.
And she calls her what she usedto do fake rest.
Like she would put on pajamas,but then she would, you know,
clean up all of her emails andorder Christmas presents and
clean out a closet, just realsneaky like.
And how it was so hard for herto justify resting and that she
had to learn that the way to getbetter and to get reconnected

(07:40):
to who she really is was to beable to sit in silence.
And when you're in the quiet,you start to hear your own voice
again.
Try this this week.
Just try a minute of driving inyour car with absolutely no
sound on, or just sitting onyour couch without anything else
for two minutes and just seehow it feels and how comfortable

(08:03):
or uncomfortable you are withbeing in that position.
So I recommend that you readthis book if you're exhausted
from trying to keep up with yourown life, if you're starting to
suspect that the way you'reliving right now is costing you
peace or being present with thepeople you love, or if you want
to create a life that feelsreally good on the inside, not

(08:25):
just one that looks good on theoutside.
Hopefully, these takeaways inthis review have helped you
today.
I just want to remind you onemore time that you are not your
accomplishments and that you arealready enough.
Have a great day, and I willsee you next week.

(08:46):
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed Working Woman
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegothier.com.
See you next week.