Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you’re either completely frozen—or running at full speed with no relief in sight?
If you’re juggling work, family, and responsibilities that never seem to end, this episode will feel uncomfortably familiar. My former client, Jenny Connors, is busy — she's a nonprofit founder, foster parent, and artist — and her life felt like total chaos until coaching helped her finally step out of survival mode.
In this episode, you will:
- Learn how unrealistic self-expectations silently fuel overwhelm and burnout
- Discover simple mindset shifts and tools that calm your nervous system and restore focus
- Hear how structure, self-kindness, and prioritization can unlock creativity and confidence again
Press play to learn how to stop living in overwhelm and start trusting yourself to handle your life with calm, clarity, and confidence.
Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.
Send Me a Message - Have a question, comment, or just want to say hi? Message me here, I'd love to chat!
Work With Me - Interested in working with me 1-on-1, taking a class, or joining one of my coaching groups? Message me here to get the scoop.
Want More? - If you love the content of this podcast, you'll love our Simple Sunday newsletter too. When you sign up, you’ll receive a simple dose of inspiration, practical tips, and a little fun—designed to help you start your week with simplicity and intention. Sign up here
Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jenny Connors (00:00):
I expected the absolute world from myself, and
I was ashamed if I didn't meetthose expectations all day,
every day.
Michelle Gauthier (00:13):
You're listening to Overwhelmed Working
Woman, the podcast that helpsyou be more calm and more
productive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed
Working Woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
Working Woman experiences.
And in each episode, you'll geta strategy to bring more calm,
(00:35):
ease, and relaxation to yourlife.
Hi, friend.
Thanks for joining today.
Today you're going to hear fromour guest, Jenny Connors.
She has completely transformedher formerly overwhelming busy
life.
And when you listen to herstory today, you're going to
hear how, with the help ofcoaching, she broke her habit of
(00:56):
expecting way too much fromherself.
And what happened when sheactually started doing less.
She's going to teach you abouta simple tool she created for
herself during our coaching thathelps her check in with her
basic needs and that helps herprevent overwhelm before it even
starts.
And then how her life changedwhen she finally learned how to
say no without guilt.
And why, in fact, no one evenfreaked out when she did say no.
(01:19):
Jenny and I lucked out and meteach other because of this
podcast.
She was a listener and she'lltell the story on here of how we
came to know each other.
I think you'll enjoy thisconversation and learn a lot in
the meantime.
Thank you so much, Jenny, forjoining us.
I'm so excited to have you on.
Jenny Connors (01:35):
Thank you for having me.
I'm super excited to be here.
Michelle Gauthier (01:38):
I feel like it's extra special because we
didn't know each other at allexcept for the podcast.
Like the podcast brought ustogether, and now we're having a
full circle moment where you'reon the podcast.
It feels extra special to me.
So our goal today is just totalk about your coaching
experience so that hopefully thepeople listening can benefit
from some of the things that youwent through and you learned
(02:00):
while you were doing yourcoaching.
So before we jump into it toomuch, what made you even
consider hiring a coach?
Had you worked with a coachbefore?
Or tell me, actually, I knowyour answer on this one.
So feel free to tell the truth.
Jenny Connors (02:14):
Okay, I will.
I had never worked with a coachbefore, and actually I didn't
have great ideas about lifecoaches in my head, but
listening to your podcast, Ijust felt, man, I think I need
some help.
And when you put on yourpodcast one day that you had an
opening, it felt like theuniverse was telling me, okay,
(02:36):
you got to do this.
And I'm really glad I did.
Michelle Gauthier (02:39):
That's your opening.
Yes.
And I think you emailed me andsaid, I want to talk to you.
I want that spot.
So tell us a little bit aboutthe situation you were in or
just what your life is like thathad you listening to
overwhelmed working women in thefirst place and made you want
to work with a coach.
Jenny Connors (02:55):
When I saw the title of your podcast, I
thought, okay, that's me.
So I'm gonna see what this isabout.
I am a what they now call aresource parent, but actually uh
known as a foster parent tothree wonderful teenage girls.
And I also founded and run anonprofit theater.
(03:16):
And I also direct and performand write.
So my days and my evenings andmy weekends are always busy,
beyond busy.
And I have a constant to-dolist that just goes forever.
So it felt like my life waschaos.
That's a key word that myhusband would hear all the time.
(03:37):
Chaos, chaos, chaos.
And I wasn't happy.
I got to the point that I wasjust overwhelmed all the time.
Michelle Gauthier (03:45):
Yes.
And as we know, you and I, andprobably many people listening,
when you're in that overwhelm,it's hard to do anything except
think I'm so overwhelmed, andthen not be able to actually
accomplish anything.
At least that's how it feels tome.
How did it feel to you when youwere stuck in that?
Jenny Connors (04:02):
Stuck is perfect and frozen.
I had two modes.
I either was completely frozenand shut down and getting
nothing done anyway, and notactually really resting, just
frozen.
Or I was going at this crazypace.
I wouldn't even pause sometimesto say hello to people.
It was just move, move.
I don't have time.
(04:22):
I don't have time.
Michelle Gauthier (04:23):
Yes.
Two modes, neither of themgood, right?
Right.
Yes.
Okay.
And about how long had you feltthat way before we started
working together?
Three years, maybeincreasingly.
Yeah.
So that's a lot.
And now that I know a lot aboutyour life and your business,
you started this nonprofit fromthe ground up, and now you have
(04:44):
all these employees and allthese shows that you're putting
on.
And I also know that yourdaughters, because of the
situation you're in, as yousaid, a resource parent or a
foster parent, you have manyextra to-dos that most parents
don't have.
So I can see why you felt thatway based on just all the to-dos
that you had in your life.
Okay, so imagine we fastforward to when we started
(05:07):
coaching and as because you justcompleted it.
I worked with my clients for aminimum of six months because it
just takes that long to createnew habits and for them to
really stick.
But how long do you think ittook you until you started
feeling better?
Jenny Connors (05:21):
I was thinking about that, and I would say it
was about four months in that Irealized I'm not freaking out
right now.
Michelle Gauthier (05:30):
Yes.
You realized it in yourself.
Like I have crossed over to notbeing in that constant state of
overwhelm.
Jenny Connors (05:39):
And I would slide back.
But it was about four monthsthat I really realized, oh my
God, this is amazing.
This might actually happen thatI feel better and stay that
way.
Michelle Gauthier (05:49):
Yes.
And the slide back, which we'llget to later.
But the slide back is that'swhat happens sometimes when we
get stressed.
We slide back into those oldpatterns.
But as long as most of the timeyou're not in that and you know
how to get out when you slideback, that's the biggest thing.
Okay, so this might be a hardone to choose, but what tool or
tip do you think had the biggestimpact on you?
Jenny Connors (06:11):
I think the biggest impact was changing how
I thought about how much I cando.
Michelle Gauthier (06:19):
Okay, tell us more about that.
Jenny Connors (06:22):
So I expected the absolute world from myself, and
I was ashamed if I didn't meetthose expectations all day,
every day.
And when you and I went overthe actual map of how much time
there is in a day, how much timethere is in a week, and how
much time my responsibilitiesactually take, and how much time
(06:45):
that actually leaves me to justsit and work.
I realized I was I wasdelusional, maybe.
Michelle Gauthier (07:02):
Because you had already slotted things in
all these other spaces in yourlife.
Right.
So obviously, you're a smartperson and you know how to do
math.
So as we walked through that,it didn't add up.
So I just want to point out toeverybody that this is actually
really common and it comes fromyour brain being in this old
pattern that says Jenny can doanything.
(07:24):
Jenny should get everythingdone on her to-do list.
It's like this thought thatdoesn't even actually make sense
when you break it down and lookat how much you can accomplish
in a day.
But your brain just kepttelling you that every day.
Let's look at the to-do list.
Let's assume we can get it alldone.
Let's shame ourselves when wedon't get it all done.
So when we broke that down anddid the actual math, what did
(07:46):
you realize about yourself?
Jenny Connors (07:48):
I realized that my expectations were just way,
way too high on myself.
And that the way I was talkingto myself was actually really
cruel.
And I would never treat someoneelse that way.
And you would really walk methrough that.
And it was so helpful.
And I think that's the biggestthing for me is changing that
(08:09):
perspective.
Michelle Gauthier (08:10):
Yes, yes, exactly.
To think about what would yousay if it was your best friend
or one of your employees?
You would never hand youremployees your to-do list and be
like, get all this done today.
There's just no way.
Great.
What change felt the hardest toyou?
Jenny Connors (08:25):
Oh, I think the hardest was going through my
to-do list and then saying,okay, I'm going to choose two or
three things because I knowthat's all I have time for
today, and I'm just going tofocus on one at a time and then
let go.
Michelle Gauthier (08:42):
Yes.
And it makes sense that felt souncomfortable because for years
you had 37 things on your listand you're like, I have to get
all these done.
So it can feel when you'rechanging that and really
choosing three that you canactually get done, it can feel
like, oh my gosh, I'm notexpecting enough of myself or
I'm not doing enough, or some ofthose thoughts that go with
that old line of thinking.
What happened when you actuallydid that?
Jenny Connors (09:05):
When I actually did it, I was more focused.
I was more relaxed.
I was more efficient.
And it felt great to see thethings getting done.
And I just learned to acceptthat it's impossible to do my
overall list is about 120 thingsusually.
And then I thought, oh, I coulddo 37 a day.
And actually just gettingthrough those top things and
(09:27):
trusting myself that I chose theright thing felt great.
Michelle Gauthier (09:31):
Yes.
And then it starts to give youa more positive cycle that
you're in, which is if I choosethese two or three things, I
will get them done.
So then you learn to haveself-trust to be able to
estimate how long somethingreally takes and then get that
thing done and then feel goodabout that and then choose the
next one.
And so it starts to form thatnew habit and that new belief
(09:51):
that I can have this ultrapriority list and put things on
that list and get them done.
Something else that you didthat I think is a really cool
concept that other people mightwant to take is that even though
you own your own business andyou can make whatever schedule
you want, that you createdenough of a structure for
yourself that you have threedays a week, a sit-down time and
(10:12):
a block of hours where you'rereally just working on stuff,
not having meetings, not eventaking your daughter's places or
doing anything else except forfocus time.
Jenny Connors (10:22):
And originally I was constantly trying to figure
out schedules for myself.
And they never worked in thepast because again, I would
expect way too much.
And so you helped me think morerealistically.
I think you asked me what levelof structure do you think you
could handle?
And we worked that out andreworked it.
And now I know Monday,Wednesday, and Friday, I have
(10:46):
these blocks.
They work in my life, and itmakes me feel better knowing,
well, on Friday I'm gonna get tothat.
Well I don't need to worryabout it right now.
It's not my thing right now.
Michelle Gauthier (10:56):
Yes, which really takes a whole new level
of self-trust.
I don't have to do that today,but I know I'm gonna do it on
Friday.
Like I know I'm actually gonnastick to my own process and my
own schedule.
Yeah, I think that's awesome.
I think that really helped youget a lot of stuff done.
And I have found this,especially with people who are
creative like you, thatstructure is not necessarily
(11:18):
their favorite thing, but thereis some amount of structure.
So you don't want to become asstructured as like the
stereotypical accountant whoputs everything on a spreadsheet
because that wouldn't fit foryou.
But what level of structure doyou need in your life and for
your mind and how your brainworks?
Jenny Connors (11:34):
And I think the level of structure we got to
just fits like a glove, and itleaves all this room for how
much my personal life varies,the amount of appointments that
we have to make sure we get to,and the flexibility of working
with artists and being an artistmyself.
Michelle Gauthier (11:52):
Yes, yeah.
I love that.
Helps you relate to your peopleand to accept your brain as is,
which is magical and wonderful.
We can't make it be ultrastructured when it's not ultra
structured.
Okay, which, and you might havemore than one answer for this,
but when I just asked you rightoff the top of your head, which
tool or shift or change was justlike your favorite?
(12:13):
I know there were a lot of themthat cracked us up.
When I'm asking this question,I'm picturing us laughing about
some of the things we came upwith.
Jenny Connors (12:23):
So one, there's so many, there's so many.
Let's see, catching the doomcycle, as they named it, being
able to catch and stop the doomcycle when I'm going to that
place of, oh no, I'm horrible.
Everything's gonna be horrible,it's all gonna fall apart.
Being able to catch that andnot get stuck in that.
Michelle Gauthier (12:41):
Yes, yes, you have to tell them about that.
That's so good.
Okay, so the doom cycle is whatwe gave the name to after we
really outlined what happens inyour brain.
I'm not getting stuff done.
I'm a terrible person, theworld is ending, however deep it
goes.
So we called that the doomcycle.
And Jenny learned to haveawareness of that and be like,
oh no, I'm about to go into thedoom cycle.
(13:02):
I'm gonna change that and pullmyself up.
And it's really helpfulsometimes if it is something
that makes you laugh, becausethen you can laugh at yourself
gently.
Okay, we almost caught thatone.
Okay, now tell them aboutDreap, because that is a really
good one that probably everyonecould use with their own
letters.
Jenny Connors (13:17):
I have to use it every day.
So Dreap is our stands for dropbecause if I don't put my eye
drops in, I get a headache.
Let's see.
E stands for eat, A stands foragua, so I drink some water, and
P stands for P P.
Because I would literally justgo and go and go and not check
(13:42):
in, and I would be miserable.
I wouldn't go to the bathroom,I wouldn't eat anything, I
wouldn't drink anything, and I'dhave a massive headache.
And uh now, before I will sitdown and do anything, I'll go
drink.
What do I need to do?
And it's amazing how nice it iswhen you actually take care of
yourself.
Michelle Gauthier (14:00):
Yes, and it's it probably sounds like what?
Who doesn't do that?
But I bet every overwhelmedworking woman is like, yep,
sometimes I do that.
I'm like, oh, I've had to peefor two hours.
Why am I not doing that?
Or why am I so crabby?
Oh, because I didn't eat lunch.
If you don't start with thosemost basic of human needs and do
whatever your dreap equivalentis, it's really hard to be
(14:21):
productive or think clearly ordo anything.
It's amazing what a littlelunch and a drink of water will
do for a person.
Jenny Connors (14:28):
It's amazing that that I didn't think of that as
even a priority before.
Michelle Gauthier (14:32):
Because you had so many other things to
focus on, and that one justdidn't make it on the list, even
though it should be number oneand now it is number one, which
is great.
When we were doing coachingtogether, did anyone around you
notice a difference in you?
Jenny Connors (14:46):
My husband noticed a difference, and I
think he likes it quite a bitbecause I'm not pushing past him
and saying, I can't talk rightnow and I get it at this thing.
He's getting more attentionnow.
Yeah.
And the people I work with, Iso often I'll say something
along the lines.
Uh I think that's a win.
So we should celebrate that,even if it doesn't feel like it.
(15:07):
We did get a win there.
In fact, we start our weeklymeetings now with saying our
wins from the week.
I bring the things that I'velearned to what we're doing.
So I'll check in and say, makesure, did you get something to
eat first?
Did you is everyone ready?
Should we really check in?
And they also just notice thatI'm not as stressed out.
(15:31):
And they'll say, How are you socalm right now?
Theater comes with a lot ofchaos naturally.
Yeah, it just is there.
And I just don't take it onanymore.
I don't let myself feel it.
It things aren't going tocompletely fall apart.
And you know what?
If they do, it'll just be forthat moment and then it'll be
(15:54):
okay.
Michelle Gauthier (15:54):
Yeah.
Jenny Connors (15:55):
They ask me all the time what's going on.
And they get a bit of coachingthrough funnels through me now.
Michelle Gauthier (16:03):
I love that.
So one of the things Jenny didduring her coaching was read a
book that I recommend oftencalled The Gap and the Gain.
And it really teaches you tofocus on what is working and
what your current wins are.
And that's something that I dowith each one of my clients.
We always start off with wins.
And it's amazing how muchdifference such a small thing
(16:24):
can make because Jenny, you werealways great at having your
wins ready.
After we'd done a couplesessions, you knew that was the
first thing I was going to askyou.
And when that's the case andyou know I'm going to ask you,
then you start tracking them andnoticing them.
And it just makes you naturallythink more positively.
So I love that you're passingthat along to your team too,
because now they know you'regoing to ask them that.
Jenny Connors (16:44):
Yeah.
It does change the way youthink all day, every day.
Michelle Gauthier (16:48):
Yeah.
Yeah, which is so great becausewhy not think more positively?
Nothing bad can come from that.
Right.
Did anyone not like yourchanges during coaching?
Jenny Connors (16:58):
I do think that I started to say no more.
And that been a big first, Ithink, for some people to take
on.
And it was a bitnerve-wracking, still is
nerve-wracking for me to justflat out say, no, that's not
going to happen, or to say, Ihear that's what you were
looking forward to.
That's too bad.
Maybe another year and justleave it at that.
(17:21):
I trust my choice.
I know what feels right.
And I get butterflies thinkingabout it right now.
Michelle Gauthier (17:27):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it doesn't feel totallycomfortable yet.
It will over time withpractice, but it's such a
different shift to go from whatdo I think this other person
wants to hear to what is myvision for this company or this
family or whatever?
And answering from that placeinstead of trying to answer
based on what the other personmight think.
(17:48):
And sometimes people don't likethat or they're surprised by
it.
They don't know how to handleit.
But have you seen anyrelationships that have been
damaged by that?
Jenny Connors (17:57):
Not at all.
No.
They just once they see thatI'm not shifting, it's just
okay.
On to the next thing.
Michelle Gauthier (18:03):
Yeah.
Yes.
I feel like that with my kids.
Like when I say no, they knowand they're just gonna stop
asking me.
They don't hate me or anything,but they're just like, oh, I
know I know that's not allowed,so I'm just not gonna ask.
Yeah.
Jenny Connors (18:16):
Haven't quite gotten there with our kids, but
everything is a work inprogress.
Michelle Gauthier (18:21):
Yes.
Sometimes I have to reiteratethe no.
Like yesterday, I had to belike, tomorrow I'm literally not
driving you to school because Ijust let her get in the habit
of I can't make the bus.
And then I drive her.
So I just had to reinforce.
So it doesn't last forever.
I still have to reinforce.
Okay, so we could talk about awhole bunch more things, but in
(18:42):
the interest of keeping thisshort, like we like to keep the
episodes on this podcast.
Let me jump to how does yourlife feel now?
Jenny Connors (18:50):
Now I feel like I have a lot more control.
I feel much calmer.
I don't have that doom.
In fact, I don't even rememberthe last time the doom cycle
started for me.
Michelle Gauthier (19:04):
Whoa, that's a big deal.
Jenny Connors (19:06):
It is.
I am genuinely amazed by howhelpful it was to do the
coaching with you.
I just feel better overall.
Yeah, and still get stressed.
And yeah, there are momentswhen I think, oh, there's so
much to do.
But I have those tools.
I go back to them and they helpevery time.
Michelle Gauthier (19:26):
That is awesome.
Yay.
I'm so glad.
That was my next question toyou.
Is obviously there'll be timeswhen you still feel stressed or
overwhelmed or guilty oranything like that.
What do you do when those comeup?
Jenny Connors (19:40):
The first thing is I have to make sure I
recognize it and I'm gettingbetter and better at that.
And then I go to those tools.
I love what you sent me, thebreakdown, everything we worked
on.
And I have it printed out even.
And I can think, okay, what amI doing with my thoughts?
Or did I do my dreep?
Am I sticking To my plan.
(20:01):
And a lot of the time, no, Ididn't do the drink because I
didn't even think about myselffor a second.
And once I do it, I'm back ontrack.
So just using those tools,checking my thoughts, taking a
moment sometimes and thinking,okay, am I being kind to myself?
Am I trusting myself?
And it gets easier and easierto get right back to feeling
(20:21):
like I've got this.
Michelle Gauthier (20:22):
That is awesome.
That's what I measure successby is how long clients and
myself say stay stuck in thatnegative old thought loop, or
how quickly you can recognize itand be like, oh, I see what I
did there.
Let me just change the way I'mthinking about that and then
feel better.
And it used to be it was threeyears that you felt overwhelmed.
(20:45):
And then maybe you got to thepoint where you'd feel
overwhelmed for a week and thena day.
And then maybe now you slipinto overwhelm every once in a
while, but you know how to getback out of it.
So that's just amazing.
To me, the the biggest outcomefor myself and not being
overwhelmed all the time is howfree my brain is to think about
actual things.
Besides I have so much to do.
(21:07):
Yeah.
What would you say it is foryou?
Is it similar or somethingdifferent?
Jenny Connors (21:12):
Yeah, it's amazing how much time the
thought about time took up in myhead.
Constantly thinking, oh, Idon't have time for this, or I
have to get that thing done, orI have to, but now that I'm not
doing that, I find myself havingmore ideas.
I find myself being inspiredmore.
Yeah.
And I need that in what I do.
Yes, exactly.
(21:33):
So it in my company, Women'sTheater Collective, also are we
go by Valkyrie Theater Companywhen we're working with youth or
doing things that aren't quitefemale-centered.
But we're a nonprofit, and thewhole purpose of the
organization was to featurewomen, to have more realistic,
(21:54):
more authentic portrayals ofwomen on the stage, to give
opportunities to female artists.
We do a lot of female-writtenshows, have female directors,
just as much as we can do thereand hopefully make a difference
that way.
And then we also partner withorganizations such as Weave,
Single Mom Strong, WellspringWomen's Center in Sacramento to
(22:15):
hopefully push the causes thatthey're working on.
And we try to raise a littlebit of money for them too, which
isn't always easy in the art.
But that's the core of what wedo.
And a lot of the time it takesa lot of focus.
It takes a lot of planning, butit also takes being ready to
handle whatever comes up in themoment.
(22:36):
So we just did a show aboutMary Shelley, the author of
Frankenstein.
And we did it outside becausewe're theater on a shoestring.
And we chose a space and weturned it into a theater.
When it rained, we suddenly hadto take all the equipment down
and move it somewhere.
Then it stopped raining.
(22:57):
We had to put it back up.
But while I'm managing all ofthat and managing the books and
working on insurance and payrolland all of those things,
fundraising.
Fundraising.
Oh, grandma.
I'm also performing and I'malso trying to think what's the
best show to do.
And I'm also thinkingcreatively about what we can do
(23:18):
with the next show.
We have as you like it, themusical coming up, and trying to
create a magical scene that'snew and unique.
A lot of what we do is very newand unique.
We're not just recycling thesame shows over and over.
That's not what we're about.
So it takes a lot.
Michelle Gauthier (23:36):
Yeah, that takes a lot of clarity of mind
so that you can have thosecreative parts, a lot of rolling
with the punches, thinking upnew solutions on the fly when it
starts raining and you've gotrugs laid out on the grass and
all kinds of stuff.
Yeah.
So I could see how being calmin your position could really
(23:56):
benefit you, your business, theaudience, all the people who are
seeing it.
It feels like it has a rippleeffect when it's starting with
you.
So that is just awesome.
If people want to know moreabout your company, where can
they go?
Jenny Connors (24:10):
They can look us up on women's
theatercollective.org.
You can also find us on TikTok,Facebook, Instagram.
And again, you can also lookunder Valkyrie Theater, which is
our other name, where we doyouth workshops.
We work with schools inSacramento City Unified School
District.
And we also do shows in FairOaks, like the new Fair Oaks
(24:31):
Performing Arts Center.
We also work with theOrangeville Community Center to
do the little ones theaterprogram.
And we actually just got a newspace that's in Midtown
Sacramento.
So that's very exciting.
Wonderful.
Michelle Gauthier (24:45):
It has just been awesome working with you.
And those were all my questionsabout your coaching.
I just want to ask you thequestions that I ask every
single guest who's on thispodcast, which you obviously
probably already know.
But what is something that youcan do to make yourself feel
less overwhelmed?
Jenny Connors (25:00):
Something I do to make myself feel less
overwhelmed is to speak kindlyto myself.
I think that is the absolutebiggest thing is when I speak
kindly to myself.
Michelle Gauthier (25:11):
Yes.
How do you do that?
How do you notice you're doingit and then change it around?
I named the bad voice Karen. Andwhen Karen speaks up, I have
this little visual.
I'm a very visual person, forsure.
You can imagine.
I see this little like brattymiddle school girl.
And I just tell her, Karen, no,go sit over there.
(25:34):
And then I get back to allright, Jenny, you're a rock
star.
You got this.
Bring the love, bring thepositivity, go be a leader.
You can do this.
You can do this.
I love it.
And so the first step thatJenny's talking about there is
just noticing when your Karenvoice, no offense to anyone
named Karen out there, you canname yours anything you want,
(25:55):
but when Karen voice comes out,just to be like, oh wait, no,
that's just a thought that mybrain offered for some reason.
I don't have to believe that.
I'm gonna tell her to be quietand then substitute in some
better thoughts.
So that is great.
Okay, and then what issomething that you do
consistently to save time or doless?
Jenny Connors (26:13):
I have started asking myself, is my business or
my home life or my personalwell-being actually literally
going to fall apart if I don'tdo this?
Really is it going to fall?
And I'd say 95% of the time theanswer is no.
And it's amazing how much thathas helped me think, oh, I don't
really have to do that.
Maybe I might never need toactually do that.
Michelle Gauthier (26:36):
Yeah.
It saves me so much time.
Very freeing.
Yes, because my brainpersonally would tell me that
everything is extremelyimportant.
I have to calm down enough tomake that call as well.
That's so great.
You know, something else thatyou do really well that I think
is worth noting just in casethis helps somebody else is you
got really good at breaking downtasks.
(26:57):
When something felt too big oroverwhelming, if you decided you
still wanted to do it, you'd belike, okay, today I'm gonna
work on cleaning up the entryarea of my house.
And tomorrow I'm gonna work onthe TV room or whatever.
But you got very good at justnot feeling overwhelmed by the
big stuff, but just breakingthings down into smaller tasks.
(27:18):
It's one of my new favoritethings to do.
Jenny Connors (27:20):
It's just I geek out on it, writing down, I break
it down as small as I can andwrite it down.
And I love it.
Michelle Gauthier (27:26):
Such a good tip.
It if it feels too big, just gosmaller until it is this tiny
little thing.
And maybe that tiny littlething is think about a time when
I could clean the front hall.
That's what I'm gonna do today,or whatever it is.
Jenny, I could go on and on.
I feel like you had a millionwins.
You were an awesome client.
I absolutely loved working withyou, and thank you so much for
being on the podcast.
Jenny Connors (27:48):
Thank you so much.
I have absolutely loved it, andI'm thrilled to have gotten to
meet you and work with you anddo the podcast.
Michelle Gauthier (27:55):
Good, good.
Okay, thank you so much.
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed Working Woman
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at MichelleGauthier.com.
See you next week.
I expected the absolute world from myself, and
I was ashamed if I didn't meetthose expectations all day,
every day.
Michelle Gauthier (00:13):
You're listening to Overwhelmed Working
Woman, the podcast that helpsyou be more calm and more
productive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed
Working Woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
Working Woman experiences.
And in each episode, you'll geta strategy to bring more calm,
(00:35):
ease, and relaxation to yourlife.
Hi, friend.
Thanks for joining today.
Today you're going to hear fromour guest, Jenny Connors.
She has completely transformedher formerly overwhelming busy
life.
And when you listen to herstory today, you're going to
hear how, with the help ofcoaching, she broke her habit of
(00:56):
expecting way too much fromherself.
And what happened when sheactually started doing less.
She's going to teach you abouta simple tool she created for
herself during our coaching thathelps her check in with her
basic needs and that helps herprevent overwhelm before it even
starts.
And then how her life changedwhen she finally learned how to
say no without guilt.
And why, in fact, no one evenfreaked out when she did say no.
(01:19):
Jenny and I lucked out and meteach other because of this
podcast.
She was a listener and she'lltell the story on here of how we
came to know each other.
I think you'll enjoy thisconversation and learn a lot in
the meantime.
Thank you so much, Jenny, forjoining us.
I'm so excited to have you on.
Jenny Connors (01:35):
Thank you for having me.
I'm super excited to be here.
Michelle Gauthier (01:38):
I feel like it's extra special because we
didn't know each other at allexcept for the podcast.
Like the podcast brought ustogether, and now we're having a
full circle moment where you'reon the podcast.
It feels extra special to me.
So our goal today is just totalk about your coaching
experience so that hopefully thepeople listening can benefit
from some of the things that youwent through and you learned
(02:00):
while you were doing yourcoaching.
So before we jump into it toomuch, what made you even
consider hiring a coach?
Had you worked with a coachbefore?
Or tell me, actually, I knowyour answer on this one.
So feel free to tell the truth.
Jenny Connors (02:14):
Okay, I will.
I had never worked with a coachbefore, and actually I didn't
have great ideas about lifecoaches in my head, but
listening to your podcast, Ijust felt, man, I think I need
some help.
And when you put on yourpodcast one day that you had an
opening, it felt like theuniverse was telling me, okay,
(02:36):
you got to do this.
And I'm really glad I did.
Michelle Gauthier (02:39):
That's your opening.
Yes.
And I think you emailed me andsaid, I want to talk to you.
I want that spot.
So tell us a little bit aboutthe situation you were in or
just what your life is like thathad you listening to
overwhelmed working women in thefirst place and made you want
to work with a coach.
Jenny Connors (02:55):
When I saw the title of your podcast, I
thought, okay, that's me.
So I'm gonna see what this isabout.
I am a what they now call aresource parent, but actually uh
known as a foster parent tothree wonderful teenage girls.
And I also founded and run anonprofit theater.
(03:16):
And I also direct and performand write.
So my days and my evenings andmy weekends are always busy,
beyond busy.
And I have a constant to-dolist that just goes forever.
So it felt like my life waschaos.
That's a key word that myhusband would hear all the time.
(03:37):
Chaos, chaos, chaos.
And I wasn't happy.
I got to the point that I wasjust overwhelmed all the time.
Michelle Gauthier (03:45):
Yes.
And as we know, you and I, andprobably many people listening,
when you're in that overwhelm,it's hard to do anything except
think I'm so overwhelmed, andthen not be able to actually
accomplish anything.
At least that's how it feels tome.
How did it feel to you when youwere stuck in that?
Jenny Connors (04:02):
Stuck is perfect and frozen.
I had two modes.
I either was completely frozenand shut down and getting
nothing done anyway, and notactually really resting, just
frozen.
Or I was going at this crazypace.
I wouldn't even pause sometimesto say hello to people.
It was just move, move.
I don't have time.
(04:22):
I don't have time.
Michelle Gauthier (04:23):
Yes.
Two modes, neither of themgood, right?
Right.
Yes.
Okay.
And about how long had you feltthat way before we started
working together?
Three years, maybeincreasingly.
Yeah.
So that's a lot.
And now that I know a lot aboutyour life and your business,
you started this nonprofit fromthe ground up, and now you have
(04:44):
all these employees and allthese shows that you're putting
on.
And I also know that yourdaughters, because of the
situation you're in, as yousaid, a resource parent or a
foster parent, you have manyextra to-dos that most parents
don't have.
So I can see why you felt thatway based on just all the to-dos
that you had in your life.
Okay, so imagine we fastforward to when we started
(05:07):
coaching and as because you justcompleted it.
I worked with my clients for aminimum of six months because it
just takes that long to createnew habits and for them to
really stick.
But how long do you think ittook you until you started
feeling better?
Jenny Connors (05:21):
I was thinking about that, and I would say it
was about four months in that Irealized I'm not freaking out
right now.
Michelle Gauthier (05:30):
Yes.
You realized it in yourself.
Like I have crossed over to notbeing in that constant state of
overwhelm.
Jenny Connors (05:39):
And I would slide back.
But it was about four monthsthat I really realized, oh my
God, this is amazing.
This might actually happen thatI feel better and stay that
way.
Michelle Gauthier (05:49):
Yes.
And the slide back, which we'llget to later.
But the slide back is that'swhat happens sometimes when we
get stressed.
We slide back into those oldpatterns.
But as long as most of the timeyou're not in that and you know
how to get out when you slideback, that's the biggest thing.
Okay, so this might be a hardone to choose, but what tool or
tip do you think had the biggestimpact on you?
Jenny Connors (06:11):
I think the biggest impact was changing how
I thought about how much I cando.
Michelle Gauthier (06:19):
Okay, tell us more about that.
Jenny Connors (06:22):
So I expected the absolute world from myself, and
I was ashamed if I didn't meetthose expectations all day,
every day.
And when you and I went overthe actual map of how much time
there is in a day, how much timethere is in a week, and how
much time my responsibilitiesactually take, and how much time
(06:45):
that actually leaves me to justsit and work.
I realized I was I wasdelusional, maybe.
Michelle Gauthier (07:02):
Because you had already slotted things in
all these other spaces in yourlife.
Right.
So obviously, you're a smartperson and you know how to do
math.
So as we walked through that,it didn't add up.
So I just want to point out toeverybody that this is actually
really common and it comes fromyour brain being in this old
pattern that says Jenny can doanything.
(07:24):
Jenny should get everythingdone on her to-do list.
It's like this thought thatdoesn't even actually make sense
when you break it down and lookat how much you can accomplish
in a day.
But your brain just kepttelling you that every day.
Let's look at the to-do list.
Let's assume we can get it alldone.
Let's shame ourselves when wedon't get it all done.
So when we broke that down anddid the actual math, what did
(07:46):
you realize about yourself?
Jenny Connors (07:48):
I realized that my expectations were just way,
way too high on myself.
And that the way I was talkingto myself was actually really
cruel.
And I would never treat someoneelse that way.
And you would really walk methrough that.
And it was so helpful.
And I think that's the biggestthing for me is changing that
(08:09):
perspective.
Michelle Gauthier (08:10):
Yes, yes, exactly.
To think about what would yousay if it was your best friend
or one of your employees?
You would never hand youremployees your to-do list and be
like, get all this done today.
There's just no way.
Great.
What change felt the hardest toyou?
Jenny Connors (08:25):
Oh, I think the hardest was going through my
to-do list and then saying,okay, I'm going to choose two or
three things because I knowthat's all I have time for
today, and I'm just going tofocus on one at a time and then
let go.
Michelle Gauthier (08:42):
Yes.
And it makes sense that felt souncomfortable because for years
you had 37 things on your listand you're like, I have to get
all these done.
So it can feel when you'rechanging that and really
choosing three that you canactually get done, it can feel
like, oh my gosh, I'm notexpecting enough of myself or
I'm not doing enough, or some ofthose thoughts that go with
that old line of thinking.
What happened when you actuallydid that?
Jenny Connors (09:05):
When I actually did it, I was more focused.
I was more relaxed.
I was more efficient.
And it felt great to see thethings getting done.
And I just learned to acceptthat it's impossible to do my
overall list is about 120 thingsusually.
And then I thought, oh, I coulddo 37 a day.
And actually just gettingthrough those top things and
(09:27):
trusting myself that I chose theright thing felt great.
Michelle Gauthier (09:31):
Yes.
And then it starts to give youa more positive cycle that
you're in, which is if I choosethese two or three things, I
will get them done.
So then you learn to haveself-trust to be able to
estimate how long somethingreally takes and then get that
thing done and then feel goodabout that and then choose the
next one.
And so it starts to form thatnew habit and that new belief
(09:51):
that I can have this ultrapriority list and put things on
that list and get them done.
Something else that you didthat I think is a really cool
concept that other people mightwant to take is that even though
you own your own business andyou can make whatever schedule
you want, that you createdenough of a structure for
yourself that you have threedays a week, a sit-down time and
(10:12):
a block of hours where you'rereally just working on stuff,
not having meetings, not eventaking your daughter's places or
doing anything else except forfocus time.
Jenny Connors (10:22):
And originally I was constantly trying to figure
out schedules for myself.
And they never worked in thepast because again, I would
expect way too much.
And so you helped me think morerealistically.
I think you asked me what levelof structure do you think you
could handle?
And we worked that out andreworked it.
And now I know Monday,Wednesday, and Friday, I have
(10:46):
these blocks.
They work in my life, and itmakes me feel better knowing,
well, on Friday I'm gonna get tothat.
Well I don't need to worryabout it right now.
It's not my thing right now.
Michelle Gauthier (10:56):
Yes, which really takes a whole new level
of self-trust.
I don't have to do that today,but I know I'm gonna do it on
Friday.
Like I know I'm actually gonnastick to my own process and my
own schedule.
Yeah, I think that's awesome.
I think that really helped youget a lot of stuff done.
And I have found this,especially with people who are
creative like you, thatstructure is not necessarily
(11:18):
their favorite thing, but thereis some amount of structure.
So you don't want to become asstructured as like the
stereotypical accountant whoputs everything on a spreadsheet
because that wouldn't fit foryou.
But what level of structure doyou need in your life and for
your mind and how your brainworks?
Jenny Connors (11:34):
And I think the level of structure we got to
just fits like a glove, and itleaves all this room for how
much my personal life varies,the amount of appointments that
we have to make sure we get to,and the flexibility of working
with artists and being an artistmyself.
Michelle Gauthier (11:52):
Yes, yeah.
I love that.
Helps you relate to your peopleand to accept your brain as is,
which is magical and wonderful.
We can't make it be ultrastructured when it's not ultra
structured.
Okay, which, and you might havemore than one answer for this,
but when I just asked you rightoff the top of your head, which
tool or shift or change was justlike your favorite?
(12:13):
I know there were a lot of themthat cracked us up.
When I'm asking this question,I'm picturing us laughing about
some of the things we came upwith.
Jenny Connors (12:23):
So one, there's so many, there's so many.
Let's see, catching the doomcycle, as they named it, being
able to catch and stop the doomcycle when I'm going to that
place of, oh no, I'm horrible.
Everything's gonna be horrible,it's all gonna fall apart.
Being able to catch that andnot get stuck in that.
Michelle Gauthier (12:41):
Yes, yes, you have to tell them about that.
That's so good.
Okay, so the doom cycle is whatwe gave the name to after we
really outlined what happens inyour brain.
I'm not getting stuff done.
I'm a terrible person, theworld is ending, however deep it
goes.
So we called that the doomcycle.
And Jenny learned to haveawareness of that and be like,
oh no, I'm about to go into thedoom cycle.
(13:02):
I'm gonna change that and pullmyself up.
And it's really helpfulsometimes if it is something
that makes you laugh, becausethen you can laugh at yourself
gently.
Okay, we almost caught thatone.
Okay, now tell them aboutDreap, because that is a really
good one that probably everyonecould use with their own
letters.
Jenny Connors (13:17):
I have to use it every day.
So Dreap is our stands for dropbecause if I don't put my eye
drops in, I get a headache.
Let's see.
E stands for eat, A stands foragua, so I drink some water, and
P stands for P P.
Because I would literally justgo and go and go and not check
(13:42):
in, and I would be miserable.
I wouldn't go to the bathroom,I wouldn't eat anything, I
wouldn't drink anything, and I'dhave a massive headache.
And uh now, before I will sitdown and do anything, I'll go
drink.
What do I need to do?
And it's amazing how nice it iswhen you actually take care of
yourself.
Michelle Gauthier (14:00):
Yes, and it's it probably sounds like what?
Who doesn't do that?
But I bet every overwhelmedworking woman is like, yep,
sometimes I do that.
I'm like, oh, I've had to peefor two hours.
Why am I not doing that?
Or why am I so crabby?
Oh, because I didn't eat lunch.
If you don't start with thosemost basic of human needs and do
whatever your dreap equivalentis, it's really hard to be
(14:21):
productive or think clearly ordo anything.
It's amazing what a littlelunch and a drink of water will
do for a person.
Jenny Connors (14:28):
It's amazing that that I didn't think of that as
even a priority before.
Michelle Gauthier (14:32):
Because you had so many other things to
focus on, and that one justdidn't make it on the list, even
though it should be number oneand now it is number one, which
is great.
When we were doing coachingtogether, did anyone around you
notice a difference in you?
Jenny Connors (14:46):
My husband noticed a difference, and I
think he likes it quite a bitbecause I'm not pushing past him
and saying, I can't talk rightnow and I get it at this thing.
He's getting more attentionnow.
Yeah.
And the people I work with, Iso often I'll say something
along the lines.
Uh I think that's a win.
So we should celebrate that,even if it doesn't feel like it.
(15:07):
We did get a win there.
In fact, we start our weeklymeetings now with saying our
wins from the week.
I bring the things that I'velearned to what we're doing.
So I'll check in and say, makesure, did you get something to
eat first?
Did you is everyone ready?
Should we really check in?
And they also just notice thatI'm not as stressed out.
(15:31):
And they'll say, How are you socalm right now?
Theater comes with a lot ofchaos naturally.
Yeah, it just is there.
And I just don't take it onanymore.
I don't let myself feel it.
It things aren't going tocompletely fall apart.
And you know what?
If they do, it'll just be forthat moment and then it'll be
(15:54):
okay.
Michelle Gauthier (15:54):
Yeah.
Jenny Connors (15:55):
They ask me all the time what's going on.
And they get a bit of coachingthrough funnels through me now.
Michelle Gauthier (16:03):
I love that.
So one of the things Jenny didduring her coaching was read a
book that I recommend oftencalled The Gap and the Gain.
And it really teaches you tofocus on what is working and
what your current wins are.
And that's something that I dowith each one of my clients.
We always start off with wins.
And it's amazing how muchdifference such a small thing
(16:24):
can make because Jenny, you werealways great at having your
wins ready.
After we'd done a couplesessions, you knew that was the
first thing I was going to askyou.
And when that's the case andyou know I'm going to ask you,
then you start tracking them andnoticing them.
And it just makes you naturallythink more positively.
So I love that you're passingthat along to your team too,
because now they know you'regoing to ask them that.
Jenny Connors (16:44):
Yeah.
It does change the way youthink all day, every day.
Michelle Gauthier (16:48):
Yeah.
Yeah, which is so great becausewhy not think more positively?
Nothing bad can come from that.
Right.
Did anyone not like yourchanges during coaching?
Jenny Connors (16:58):
I do think that I started to say no more.
And that been a big first, Ithink, for some people to take
on.
And it was a bitnerve-wracking, still is
nerve-wracking for me to justflat out say, no, that's not
going to happen, or to say, Ihear that's what you were
looking forward to.
That's too bad.
Maybe another year and justleave it at that.
(17:21):
I trust my choice.
I know what feels right.
And I get butterflies thinkingabout it right now.
Michelle Gauthier (17:27):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it doesn't feel totallycomfortable yet.
It will over time withpractice, but it's such a
different shift to go from whatdo I think this other person
wants to hear to what is myvision for this company or this
family or whatever?
And answering from that placeinstead of trying to answer
based on what the other personmight think.
(17:48):
And sometimes people don't likethat or they're surprised by
it.
They don't know how to handleit.
But have you seen anyrelationships that have been
damaged by that?
Jenny Connors (17:57):
Not at all.
No.
They just once they see thatI'm not shifting, it's just
okay.
On to the next thing.
Michelle Gauthier (18:03):
Yeah.
Yes.
I feel like that with my kids.
Like when I say no, they knowand they're just gonna stop
asking me.
They don't hate me or anything,but they're just like, oh, I
know I know that's not allowed,so I'm just not gonna ask.
Yeah.
Jenny Connors (18:16):
Haven't quite gotten there with our kids, but
everything is a work inprogress.
Michelle Gauthier (18:21):
Yes.
Sometimes I have to reiteratethe no.
Like yesterday, I had to belike, tomorrow I'm literally not
driving you to school because Ijust let her get in the habit
of I can't make the bus.
And then I drive her.
So I just had to reinforce.
So it doesn't last forever.
I still have to reinforce.
Okay, so we could talk about awhole bunch more things, but in
(18:42):
the interest of keeping thisshort, like we like to keep the
episodes on this podcast.
Let me jump to how does yourlife feel now?
Jenny Connors (18:50):
Now I feel like I have a lot more control.
I feel much calmer.
I don't have that doom.
In fact, I don't even rememberthe last time the doom cycle
started for me.
Michelle Gauthier (19:04):
Whoa, that's a big deal.
Jenny Connors (19:06):
It is.
I am genuinely amazed by howhelpful it was to do the
coaching with you.
I just feel better overall.
Yeah, and still get stressed.
And yeah, there are momentswhen I think, oh, there's so
much to do.
But I have those tools.
I go back to them and they helpevery time.
Michelle Gauthier (19:26):
That is awesome.
Yay.
I'm so glad.
That was my next question toyou.
Is obviously there'll be timeswhen you still feel stressed or
overwhelmed or guilty oranything like that.
What do you do when those comeup?
Jenny Connors (19:40):
The first thing is I have to make sure I
recognize it and I'm gettingbetter and better at that.
And then I go to those tools.
I love what you sent me, thebreakdown, everything we worked
on.
And I have it printed out even.
And I can think, okay, what amI doing with my thoughts?
Or did I do my dreep?
Am I sticking To my plan.
(20:01):
And a lot of the time, no, Ididn't do the drink because I
didn't even think about myselffor a second.
And once I do it, I'm back ontrack.
So just using those tools,checking my thoughts, taking a
moment sometimes and thinking,okay, am I being kind to myself?
Am I trusting myself?
And it gets easier and easierto get right back to feeling
(20:21):
like I've got this.
Michelle Gauthier (20:22):
That is awesome.
That's what I measure successby is how long clients and
myself say stay stuck in thatnegative old thought loop, or
how quickly you can recognize itand be like, oh, I see what I
did there.
Let me just change the way I'mthinking about that and then
feel better.
And it used to be it was threeyears that you felt overwhelmed.
(20:45):
And then maybe you got to thepoint where you'd feel
overwhelmed for a week and thena day.
And then maybe now you slipinto overwhelm every once in a
while, but you know how to getback out of it.
So that's just amazing.
To me, the the biggest outcomefor myself and not being
overwhelmed all the time is howfree my brain is to think about
actual things.
Besides I have so much to do.
(21:07):
Yeah.
What would you say it is foryou?
Is it similar or somethingdifferent?
Jenny Connors (21:12):
Yeah, it's amazing how much time the
thought about time took up in myhead.
Constantly thinking, oh, Idon't have time for this, or I
have to get that thing done, orI have to, but now that I'm not
doing that, I find myself havingmore ideas.
I find myself being inspiredmore.
Yeah.
And I need that in what I do.
Yes, exactly.
(21:33):
So it in my company, Women'sTheater Collective, also are we
go by Valkyrie Theater Companywhen we're working with youth or
doing things that aren't quitefemale-centered.
But we're a nonprofit, and thewhole purpose of the
organization was to featurewomen, to have more realistic,
(21:54):
more authentic portrayals ofwomen on the stage, to give
opportunities to female artists.
We do a lot of female-writtenshows, have female directors,
just as much as we can do thereand hopefully make a difference
that way.
And then we also partner withorganizations such as Weave,
Single Mom Strong, WellspringWomen's Center in Sacramento to
(22:15):
hopefully push the causes thatthey're working on.
And we try to raise a littlebit of money for them too, which
isn't always easy in the art.
But that's the core of what wedo.
And a lot of the time it takesa lot of focus.
It takes a lot of planning, butit also takes being ready to
handle whatever comes up in themoment.
(22:36):
So we just did a show aboutMary Shelley, the author of
Frankenstein.
And we did it outside becausewe're theater on a shoestring.
And we chose a space and weturned it into a theater.
When it rained, we suddenly hadto take all the equipment down
and move it somewhere.
Then it stopped raining.
(22:57):
We had to put it back up.
But while I'm managing all ofthat and managing the books and
working on insurance and payrolland all of those things,
fundraising.
Fundraising.
Oh, grandma.
I'm also performing and I'malso trying to think what's the
best show to do.
And I'm also thinkingcreatively about what we can do
(23:18):
with the next show.
We have as you like it, themusical coming up, and trying to
create a magical scene that'snew and unique.
A lot of what we do is very newand unique.
We're not just recycling thesame shows over and over.
That's not what we're about.
So it takes a lot.
Michelle Gauthier (23:36):
Yeah, that takes a lot of clarity of mind
so that you can have thosecreative parts, a lot of rolling
with the punches, thinking upnew solutions on the fly when it
starts raining and you've gotrugs laid out on the grass and
all kinds of stuff.
Yeah.
So I could see how being calmin your position could really
(23:56):
benefit you, your business, theaudience, all the people who are
seeing it.
It feels like it has a rippleeffect when it's starting with
you.
So that is just awesome.
If people want to know moreabout your company, where can
they go?
Jenny Connors (24:10):
They can look us up on women's
theatercollective.org.
You can also find us on TikTok,Facebook, Instagram.
And again, you can also lookunder Valkyrie Theater, which is
our other name, where we doyouth workshops.
We work with schools inSacramento City Unified School
District.
And we also do shows in FairOaks, like the new Fair Oaks
(24:31):
Performing Arts Center.
We also work with theOrangeville Community Center to
do the little ones theaterprogram.
And we actually just got a newspace that's in Midtown
Sacramento.
So that's very exciting.
Wonderful.
Michelle Gauthier (24:45):
It has just been awesome working with you.
And those were all my questionsabout your coaching.
I just want to ask you thequestions that I ask every
single guest who's on thispodcast, which you obviously
probably already know.
But what is something that youcan do to make yourself feel
less overwhelmed?
Jenny Connors (25:00):
Something I do to make myself feel less
overwhelmed is to speak kindlyto myself.
I think that is the absolutebiggest thing is when I speak
kindly to myself.
Michelle Gauthier (25:11):
Yes.
How do you do that?
How do you notice you're doingit and then change it around?
I named the bad voice Karen. Andwhen Karen speaks up, I have
this little visual.
I'm a very visual person, forsure.
You can imagine.
I see this little like brattymiddle school girl.
And I just tell her, Karen, no,go sit over there.
(25:34):
And then I get back to allright, Jenny, you're a rock
star.
You got this.
Bring the love, bring thepositivity, go be a leader.
You can do this.
You can do this.
I love it.
And so the first step thatJenny's talking about there is
just noticing when your Karenvoice, no offense to anyone
named Karen out there, you canname yours anything you want,
(25:55):
but when Karen voice comes out,just to be like, oh wait, no,
that's just a thought that mybrain offered for some reason.
I don't have to believe that.
I'm gonna tell her to be quietand then substitute in some
better thoughts.
So that is great.
Okay, and then what issomething that you do
consistently to save time or doless?
Jenny Connors (26:13):
I have started asking myself, is my business or
my home life or my personalwell-being actually literally
going to fall apart if I don'tdo this?
Really is it going to fall?
And I'd say 95% of the time theanswer is no.
And it's amazing how much thathas helped me think, oh, I don't
really have to do that.
Maybe I might never need toactually do that.
Michelle Gauthier (26:36):
Yeah.
It saves me so much time.
Very freeing.
Yes, because my brainpersonally would tell me that
everything is extremelyimportant.
I have to calm down enough tomake that call as well.
That's so great.
You know, something else thatyou do really well that I think
is worth noting just in casethis helps somebody else is you
got really good at breaking downtasks.
(26:57):
When something felt too big oroverwhelming, if you decided you
still wanted to do it, you'd belike, okay, today I'm gonna
work on cleaning up the entryarea of my house.
And tomorrow I'm gonna work onthe TV room or whatever.
But you got very good at justnot feeling overwhelmed by the
big stuff, but just breakingthings down into smaller tasks.
(27:18):
It's one of my new favoritethings to do.
Jenny Connors (27:20):
It's just I geek out on it, writing down, I break
it down as small as I can andwrite it down.
And I love it.
Michelle Gauthier (27:26):
Such a good tip.
It if it feels too big, just gosmaller until it is this tiny
little thing.
And maybe that tiny littlething is think about a time when
I could clean the front hall.
That's what I'm gonna do today,or whatever it is.
Jenny, I could go on and on.
I feel like you had a millionwins.
You were an awesome client.
I absolutely loved working withyou, and thank you so much for
being on the podcast.
Jenny Connors (27:48):
Thank you so much.
I have absolutely loved it, andI'm thrilled to have gotten to
meet you and work with you anddo the podcast.
Michelle Gauthier (27:55):
Good, good.
Okay, thank you so much.
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed Working Woman
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at MichelleGauthier.com.
See you next week.
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