#208| Why Perfectionism is Just Fear in Disguise (And How to Move Past It): Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Are you actually struggling with time management—or is perfectionism quietly keeping you stuck and overwhelmed?

If you constantly feel busy but still struggle to finish things, second-guess your work, or delay putting yourself out there, this episode will help you understand why. Perfectionism often disguises itself as productivity, planning, or “high standards,” but underneath it is fear that keeps you from taking meaningful action.

When you listen, you'll gain: 

• A clear understanding of what perfectionism really is (and why it’s not about excellence)
• Insight into how fear-driven perfectionism shows up as procrastination, overworking, or decision fatigue
• A simple but powerful way to identify the fear beneath your perfectionism so you can finally move forward

Press play to learn how taking imperfect, messy action can free you from overwhelm and help you build confidence by actually moving forward.

Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.

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Work With Me - Interested in working with me 1-on-1, taking a class, or joining one of my coaching groups? Message me here to get the scoop.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Episode Transcript

Michelle Gauthier (00:01):
Perfectionism looks like productivity, but
it's really just a polished formof procrastination and fear.
You're listening to OverwhelmedWorking Woman, the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed

(00:22):
Working Woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
working woman experiences.
And in each episode, you'll geta strategy to bring more calm,
ease, and relaxation to yourlife.
Hi, friends.
Today we're going to be talkingabout perfectionism.
Perfectionism is something thatdoes cause quite a bit of

(00:45):
overwhelm and sometimes kind oftricks us into thinking that we
have a time management problemwhen really the root of the
problem can be much more thanthat.
So when you listen today, we'regoing to talk about what
perfectionism really is, how itcan keep you stuck, and how to
understand what's really beneathyour perfectionism, which is
the best way to move out of it.

(01:07):
So let's talk aboutperfectionism in general.
Perfectionism isn't actuallyabout being your best, even
though if you're a person wholikes to do things perfectly,
but instead it's about fearingyour worst.
So it's really the fear ofgetting something wrong or
looking like a failure orletting anybody see the cracks
or find out that you're actuallyhuman or the idea that if you

(01:29):
fix just one more thing, thenyou'll feel ready.
So sometimes perfectionismshows up looking like
procrastination, like you don'tstart on something because it
has to be perfect.
So you might think about theidea and do little tweaks but
never actually get started.
It can show up as overworkingwhere you spend hours perfecting
the smallest detail.

(01:50):
I know I can definitely getinto that mode when I'm working
on a presentation or a worksheetor something, and I'll mess
around with the fonts and wherethey're located and all that.
It's like this does not matter.
It can show up as buffering,which I would call anything that
keeps you busy so you don'thave to risk your mind being
quiet.
So if I just keep working onthis and say this isn't

(02:10):
finished, then my mind will beoccupied.
It can give you decisionfatigue because you're terrified
of choosing the wrong thing.
So, whatever way perfectionshows up in your life, I think
there is one thing in common.
And that's the first thing Iwant to talk about is that
perfectionism is really fear,not just high standards.
So we like to think aboutperfectionism as something that

(02:33):
is about ambition or excellence,but most of the time it's
really just fear running theshow, fear of not being good
enough or being judged orfailing publicly.
It's not about high standards,it's really about avoiding
discomfort.
So, for example, if you writean email five different times
before sending it, you mighttell yourself, I just like to

(02:54):
make sure that things are saidperfectly.
But I think underlying thatcould be a fear like if I sound
unclear, they'll think I'munprofessional.
If you delay posting things toyour website for weeks, you
might think if it's not perfect,people won't take me seriously.
Or if you avoid having a hardconversation because you want to

(03:14):
just get your words exactlyright, you think if I say the
wrong thing, they'll be upsetand I'll feel terrible.
So even though it shows up asyou having very high standards,
and I'm not doubting that youhave very high standards, it's
often fear that drives that.
The other problem withprocrastination is that it
really keeps you stuck.
It's tricky because it feelslike you're doing something.

(03:35):
You're busy, you're likegetting things ready and making
progress on things, but you'reactually avoiding the part where
you have to show up or riskrejection and feel vulnerable by
turning something in or showingsomeone something that you're
working on.
I just talked to a client todaywho told me that she is great
at spending hours and hourscolor-coding her planner and

(03:57):
making tons of plans to getorganized first.
And that way she gets that allperfect, but that helps her not
work on the things that areactually on her planner.
Or maybe if you own your ownbusiness, you wait to launch a
new offer until you've createdthe perfect sales page.
Or if you have a job where youcreate a lot of presentations,
you can mess around and makethat absolutely perfect.

(04:20):
So perfectionism is number onefear.
And number two, it keeps youstuck.
First of all, it's always mostimportant to realize that you're
doing it.
But the way out of this is toreally get underneath what is
that fear that is driving theperfectionism in you.
Next time you feel stuck andnotice that you're swirling

(04:40):
around in perfectionism andyou're not able to get yourself
to turn something in or just tofinish the task, pause and ask,
what am I afraid will happen ifI do this now?
If I just turn this in now orgive this to someone now.
And most of the time, if youask yourself that question,
you'll uncover something deeper.
Like, I'm afraid if I fail, itwill prove that I'm not good

(05:03):
enough, which I've alwaysworried about.
Or I'm worried that if someonedoesn't like it and they
criticize me or give mefeedback, that I won't be able
to handle it.
Or if I don't do it perfectly,I'll disappoint someone and I
don't know how to handle thosefeelings.
And if you were my client, wewould talk through each one of
those and figure out, is thatreally true?
Is that fear really true?

(05:23):
Is that a fear you couldhandle?
But for today, I just want youto take away that if you're
feeling like perfectionism ispart of your life and it's
making you feel stressed out,that the first thing to do is
just realize you're doing it andthen get underneath it and see
what the fear is.
Once you understand what you'rereally afraid of, it's easier
to realize that you can surviveturning in something or giving

(05:47):
something to someone that ismaybe a little bit messy or not
exactly up to your 100%standards, and you'll gain
confidence by taking action andnot perfecting it behind the
scenes.
So this week, as we're leadingup to the end of the year, I
challenge you to do somethingimperfectly, something messy,

(06:08):
take some messy action and moveforward and see how that feels
to you.
That's it for today.
See you next week.
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed Working Woman
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegauthier.com.

(06:28):
See you next week.