#140| Stop Letting People Pleasing Control Your Priorities - Here's How: Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Have you ever said “yes” when everything inside you was screaming “no”—and then instantly regretted it?

This episode dives into a relatable, gut-wrenching moment for any working parent or people pleaser: when honoring your boundaries and emotions collides with the pressure to perform. If you’ve ever felt guilty for choosing yourself or your family over work, this story will hit home.

In this episode, you will:

• Learn why setting boundaries isn't enough—you have to honor them.
• Discover how your emotions can serve as powerful signals, not obstacles.
• Find out what it really takes to disconnect your self-worth from productivity and people-pleasing.

 Hit play now to hear the real story behind the breakthrough and start learning how to reclaim your time, your peace, and your power.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Episode Transcript

Michelle Gauthier (00:00):
There was this one moment where I realized
, in a single gut-wrenchingmoment, that I was living a life
that I didn't actually want.
You're listening to OverwhelmedWorking Woman, the podcast that
helps you be more calm and moreproductive by doing less.
I'm your host, MichelleGauthier, a former Overwhelmed

(00:23):
Working Woman and current lifecoach.
On this show, we unpack thestress and pressure that today's
working woman experiences.
And in each episode you'll get astrategy to bring more calm,
ease and relaxation to your life.
Hi, friend, Today I'm going toshare a very personal story with

(00:45):
you, and what you'll learn fromthis story that I'm telling you
today is about a real lifemoment that kind of made me
question everything, and whysetting boundaries isn't enough
you have to actually honor theboundaries and also why our
emotions aren't a problem.
I used to always think myemotions were a problem and
would get in the way, but whyinstead, they can be your

(01:06):
compass.
Okay, so here's the story.
When my daughter was young andmy son had already started
school, I did not work on Fridayafternoons or Monday afternoons
because I took that time off tospend time with my daughter
while my son was at school.
And it was a Friday afternoonwhen the story happened and at
the time I had this intentionalboundary that I worked half days

(01:30):
on Friday and Friday afternoonswere supposed to be mine, just
time for my daughter or formyself, or for just breathing
room.
But that day I of coursechecked my work email or my
instant messenger, I don'tremember what and my boss and
his boss wanted to hop on aquick call with me to review
this pitch deck, these slidesthat we were working on, and my

(01:52):
daughter wasn't feeling greatand she was down for a nap.
So, even though I felt like asmall tug of hesitation, I said
yes, and I told myself it wasgoing to be super quick and that
it was important and thateverything would be just fine.
And so I logged on to the calland I told myself it was going
to be super quick and that itwas important and that
everything would be just fine.
And so I logged onto the calland I pulled up the slides and
I'm sharing my screen and westarted discussing edits and I'm
making the changes that we'retalking about, and then I heard

(02:15):
my daughter crying.
She was still in a crib at thetime and I heard her crying from
her crib and then I heard herthrow up and just froze and I
panicked because my mind, myconditioning, really told me
that I couldn't interrupt and Icouldn't inconvenience them with
this problem that I was having.
And then I had to stayprofessional and show everyone

(02:37):
that I could handle it.
And then the other side of mewas telling me my little girl is
sick and she's scared and eventhough I knew she was safe.
She needed me in that momentand I was stuck on a call about
you know font sizes and bulletpoints and what we were going to
say, and I just had thiscomplete panic where I froze
because I truly didn't know whatto do.

(02:59):
And finally I just interruptedthem mid sentence and said you
guys, I'm sorry, I've got to go.
My daughter's sick.
She just threw up and they were, of course, like Okay, go, go,
go.
And I ran to my daughter and Iscooped her up and I was
cleaning her up and you know shewas totally okay, but I was so
upset I was like what am I doing?
Why am I saying yes wheneverything inside me is

(03:22):
screaming no?
Why did I even consider stayingon that call?
And valuing something like thatover my family was like I just
realized that my life wasn't inalignment.
And, looking back, I have suchempathy for my past self because
what I didn't have at that timeI didn't understand how to hold

(03:43):
a boundary.
I didn't know that that feelingthat I got like, that panic and
that guilt, were emotions thatI needed to pay attention to,
and I didn't understand that myvalue as a human wasn't tied to
the fact that I worked reallyhard and that I was easy and
agreeable and always available,and I didn't know that I could

(04:05):
choose a different way to live.
So I really was just actingfrom everything that I knew at
the time.
So let's take a look at how Iwould have handled that
situation differently today.
So if I had negotiated formyself a job where I had
permission to not work on Fridayafternoons, I would keep that

(04:30):
boundary.
I would not check my work email.
I would not log on to instantmessenger.
I was afraid not to because Iwanted people to know that I was
available.
Even though I was supposed tobe with my daughter or you know,
off work.
I still wanted to be available.
I would not do that anymore.
So this situation just plainand simple would not come up and

(04:51):
I also would have an easiertime doing that.
First of all, I have lots ofexperience now with setting
boundaries and holding thoseboundaries.
But I also have learned todisconnect my enoughness from
what I produce at work and Ialso have disconnected from what
I think other people might bethinking about me, aka people

(05:12):
pleasing.
So in that quick moment I wasreacting to all three of those
things.
I can't hold a boundary becauseI have to be agreeable.
I can't risk what these twoguys are thinking about me right
now.
They think about me that I'm agreat employee and I'm working
so hard and I'm so reliable andI'm always available, even
though I work part-time airquotes.

(05:32):
And now what I would focus onis I'm already enough.
It doesn't matter.
My enoughness doesn't come fromwhat I produce.
I choose boundaries for myself,based on my priorities, which
will always be my family overanything else, and I honestly
just do not think about whatother people are thinking about

(05:55):
me.
Now let's think about itrealistically.
When I hung up on that call,both of these guys in this
situation are really good peoplewho I had a great relationship
with.
They're both dads, so theyprobably had no thoughts about
it.
They're like, oh gosh, that's abummer Fine, you know, it's not
.
Like they thought I was thisamazing employee.
And then they're like oh, theregoes her performance review.

(06:16):
She had a kid who got sick.
So I was focusing so much onwhat they might think about me
and it probably wasn't even true.
I'm sharing all this with youbecause this moment and I had
many moments like this, but thisone was really poignant,
because my daughter was sick andI hesitated way longer than I
wanted to which was probablylike 10 seconds until I did the

(06:40):
right thing, and this is thereason why I teach the stuff
that I teach now.
When you join the Good LifeGroup Coaching, every week we
focus on a new topic and overthe course of the 12-week
program, I teach you everysingle thing that you need to
basically not be in thesituation that I put myself in.

(07:01):
You will learn how to visualizethe type of life that you do
want.
I don't know about you, but Ifelt so stuck and I wasn't even
sure how to dream up what Iwanted instead.
So we start with that and thenyou'll learn how to set
boundaries, say no, use yourthoughts to create the kind of

(07:21):
life that you want to have.
You'll learn about timemanagement, how to manage your
emotions, how to focus on what'sin your control.
The way that it works is everyweek I drop a new video on a
specific topic.
Let's say it's people pleasing.
You'll learn about peoplepleasing.
Then you'll do your homework inthe workbook, which is to apply

(07:41):
what you've just learned to asituation in your life.
So you'll write it all out whatyou would do, what kind of
boundary you would set, and thenon Friday we all come together
for live group coaching.
And if you really struggledwith it or you don't feel like
you could actually implement thepeople pleasing plan that you
set up, then you would getcoaching from me, and not only
would that help you but it alsohelps everybody else in the

(08:03):
group.
And so we go on and on withdifferent topics over the course
of 12 weeks so that by the endyou feel like you have all the
skills you need to have a lifethat feels so much more calm and
intentional.
And you know, it's always thewoman, it's always the mom, who
sets the tone of the household,and I feel like you set the tone

(08:24):
at your work with your team,etc.
So if you are feeling incontrol, organized, able to say
no, not a people pleaser, theenergy that you give off affects
everyone else around you.
So registration for this startson Monday, but you have an
opportunity now, before Monday,to send me a DM.

(08:47):
You can just send me a message.
There's a send me a messagebutton at the bottom of the
episode in the show notes.
Send me a message that saysgroup coaching and I will tell
you more about group coaching.
I can answer any questions thatyou have and then you'll be on
the waitlist, which means youcan register early, so you can
register before Monday.
What that means is you get 25%off the cost of the program and

(09:12):
you get a chance to registerearly.
I only take 10 people for groupcoaching because I like it to
be small and intimate and havetime for everybody, so you will
get one of those 10 spots forsure.
So if you think you might beinterested, send me a message
and we can chat.
Have a great week.
Talk to you Monday.

(09:35):
Thank you for listening to theOverwhelmed Working Woman
podcast.
If you want to learn more aboutmy work, head over to my
website at michellegauthier.
com.
See you next week.