Summer Time Sadness Jackie has started her solo journey into Love Island USA S7 a dawg in each hand, while MJ's havin' the exact opposite time and is descending into his Summer of Madness with two schedule free kids, The VERY young and VERY hip MJ crashed his brother and besties 20yr college reunion last weekend, and it had him realizin' that time does indeed keep on slip-slip-slippin'! They're already kickin' Love Islanders off for bein' racist and it makes you wonder what kind of vettin are they actually doing. Not to mention the interesting bestiality factoids another contestant was throwin' down, BUT THEY WERE WROOOOOONG (thankfully)!!!! Candace Cameron Bure is afraid of scary movies and Liquid Death beverages opening demonic portals and its absolutely insane AND there's audio proof of it! There's a cute Variety profile on The Gog and Aimee Lou Wood but everyone's tryin' to make it weird again, Katy Perry tried to be a Werner Herzog and brought a little girl on stage to confuse and terrify her by offering the child her shoe to eat, the Brooke Shields podcast interview that's causing a ruckus has been taken down without anyone saying anything. Olivia Munn says she doesn't like Ms Rachel 'cause kids songs are annoying and it blew up into something more, now everyone's having to be like 'STAHP.' Jackie and Geoff are havin' a literal Flag Day over the weekend where everyone's gonna dress as their favorite flag, which has Jackie feelin' Argentinean. Mileys all over the PR cycle for her new album, which Jackie says is more lowkey, but Miley is also now dealing with a dumb comment she made about Jojo Siwa as well. Tom Cruise got into the Guinness book of world records for the most burning parachute jumps from an individual helicopter, 16, but that doesn't mean all of them are worth watching... Speakin of Cruise, MJ has spread the world of his fish fuckin' to a trusted friend. A far too concerned mother shamed a man on social media for seeing Lilo and Stich alone, Jackie reports back that the The Phoenician Scheme is good, and MJ has begun The Rehearsal, all that and more on this weeks Second Helpings!
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