67 Its up to me to be or not to be

In this episode of Pancake Marathon, I open up about the transition from structured sober living into independent life—and the weight of responsibility that comes with it. Recovery isn’t about resting on past accomplishments; it’s about the choices I make in each moment: to use or not to use, to grow or to stay stuck.

I talk about how acceptance, open-mindedness, and willingness guide me through the painstaking phases of change, and how reframing pain can turn it into growth. From staying accountable to my sponsor, to reflecting before acting, to remembering that “it works if you work it”—this episode is about owning the truth that no one else can walk this path for me.

Recovery is a daily decision. Life is a daily decision. And in both, the power lies in how I show up right now.

1. Podcast Description Style
In this episode, I explore what it really means to choose “to be.” Recovery is part of it, but it’s bigger than recovery—it’s the moment-by-moment decision to live fully, to feel instead of numb, to grow instead of shrink. Every choice is an act of being. And every time I show up, I prove that life is mine to claim.

2. One-Liner Tagline
“It’s up to me—because being isn’t automatic, it’s chosen.”

3. Reflection Style
Life doesn’t hand me existence on autopilot. Each moment whispers the same question: to be or not to be? My answer isn’t in what I’ve done before, but in how I show up now. To be means I let myself feel, I stand in the fire of pain, and I allow it to turn into growth. To not be means I drift, I numb, I let the ember of life dim. But in truth, I am the one who tends the flame. Recovery just gave me the words—but the choice to be has always been mine.