The Mindful Motorcycle - Finding Connection and Inner Joy with Ben Rubin

Imagine a world where the sound of a motorcycle engine is a call to mindfulness and connection. That's precisely the journey we embarked on with Ben Rubin, affectionately known as "The Mindful Motorcycle" on Instagram. Ben reveals how a thoughtful gift from his partner led to his passion for motorcycling, transforming it into a path of personal growth and mindful living. The bonds formed within the motorcycle community are anything but ordinary; they're a testament to the unspoken understanding that exists among riders who share the open road.  

Referenced in this Episode are:

Brady McLain and Go Fast Don't Die ( https://www.gofastdontdie.com/ )

Rob Hamilton and MotoFeelz ( https://www.motofeelz.com/ )

Support the show

Episode Transcript

Ben Ruben (00:04):
What I think is amazing about motorcycle culture
is, like the lack of judgment.
I don't really ultimately carewhat bike you're on.
You're on a bike, we're bros,that's it.
We're family, right.
And I think that part of thecamaraderie there is that we all
share this bond of essentiallylike the need for connection.

(00:28):
We're all looking forconnection and, like, when I'm
on my bike, I'm connected to it,I'm connected to the universe,
it's connected to me, I'mconnected to the ground,
hopefully right, two wheels downright, um and like then I see
another person.
I've never seen them before.
I don't know what they're doing.

(00:49):
They're on the other side ofthe road, going the other side
of the, in the other direction.
All I have to do is throw themtwo fingers and we have
instantly bonded.

Ron (00:58):
There were all these quotes I was reading on Instagram,
quotes about mindfulness, but,more importantly, about the joy
of motorcycling and the joy ofthe motorcycling community.
I reached out to the mindfulmotorcycle on Instagram and
found out it's Ben Rubin, andBen is a wonderful, wonderful

(01:19):
guy who I so enjoy talking with.
I know you're going to enjoythe podcast today.
Stay tuned.
Recorded in beautiful Loveland,colorado.
Welcome to Peace, love Moto,the podcast for motorcyclists
seeking that peaceful, easyfeeling as we cruise through

(01:39):
this life together.
Are you ready?
Let's go.
Well, Ben Rubin, thank you forbeing with me today, man, me and
you.
We've already had aconversation, which was great.

(02:00):
You know, I almost kick myselfsometimes when we have these
preliminary conversations everyonce in a while and I'll come
away from it and thinking that,wow, what a great conversation
that was.
Why didn't I record it?
So we are back together, ben,and we are recording now.
So welcome to the Peace, loveMoto podcast, thank you.
Thank you, really happy to behere.
So we found each other, I guess, through Instagram, right?

(02:24):
Happy to be here.
So we found each other, I guessthrough Instagram.
Right, yeah, yeah.
I actually have no idea how youfound me.
But as soon as you did, I foundyou because I loved the whole
vibe of everything you had goingon.
Well, ben, I'm going todefinitely circle back to this,
but you're known on Instagram asthe mindful motorcycle.
You're known on Instagram asthe mindful motorcycle, and the

(02:52):
whole mindfulness thing reallyfits into in many ways what I
try to present in variousepisodes on the podcast relating
to peace of mind.
The peace is peace of mind,from Peace, love Moto.
And then the love part islearning to love yourself, also
kind of related to mindfulness,taking care of yourself.
Then once you're able to dothat, then you're able to
successfully, I think, or you'remore equipped to love other
people too.

(03:12):
So that's where the whole piecelove moto thing and then the
whole moto moto motorcyclingthread.
That just brings us together,right?
But yeah, absolutely let's.
Let's start back with yourjourney.
So your connection withmotorcycling came from where and
when?

Ben Ruben (03:30):
All right, so.
So I actually don't.
I don't know when, I like whenI first saw a motorcycle, right,
but whenever that was in mylife, in my existence, like
that's when I was, like that'swhat I want to do, I want to do

(03:50):
that thing.
Maybe it was like I learned howto ride a bicycle and I couldn't
go fast enough, or like I youknow the sound of an exhaust
like bam, like that did it forme.
Or or just the fact that, likeI mean, let's be honest, people
in motorcycle gear look so cool.
That's true, you know, it'slike, uh, you're, they're like

(04:12):
the, the epitome of cool lookingrock and rock ship, like all
that stuff, and um, so notexactly sure when, like the idea
hatched to want to become amotorcyclist, but I can tell you
that throughout my life, therewas a lot of angst, anxiety

(04:36):
around getting on one.

Ron (04:40):
Right.

Ben Ruben (04:40):
Like getting on one, Like I knew I was going to
instantly fall in love with it,but it was a toy, Right, it's
not.
It's not really something likeyeah, OK, you can commute with
it, there is some practicalityaround it.
But like even the oh, you'llsave money by not buying a car
is not actually like.
You know, spending so muchmoney on these things.
Oh for sure.

(05:01):
Amazing woman was like here isa gift certificate for Harley
Davidson, here's enough moneyfor you to go and get a
motorcycle license and notbother me anymore.

Ron (05:34):
That is.
That's a.
That is an amazing miracle.
I think I have never heard ofthat happening before in that
kind of place Never, Never Wellyeah, well, so a little bit of
background.

Ben Ruben (05:47):
There, though, is like she actually had a 450
Honda dual sport back in Brazil.
That was like she got to.
She was given, like by her jobfor like a municipality job.
So she's actually like wouldhave been a motorcyclist job.

(06:08):
So she's actually like wouldhave been a motorcyclist, right,
if it wasn't, if it was like itis in brazil, if it was like 75
degrees year round and it neverwas cold, she would always do
it.
But, like where you live inmaryland, let's be honest and um
, she's a speed person, whereas,like, I'm gonna chill on the
thing, um, and so I never reallywe, we never really got to the

(06:29):
point where, like she was on italso, I also as we will talk
about I'm sure wanted thefreedom just letting me be me
out there and like with her too,there would have been all sorts
of different dynamics that Idon't think would have like been
what I was looking for inmotorcycling.
So, um, she was always, wouldhave been supportive and then

(06:52):
was supportive because she knows, she knows the thrill too.

Ron (06:55):
Yeah, I need the thrill too , yeah that that's cool, and and
was, was that something thatbrought you guys?
I'm just I'm prying a littlebit, but I'll just add something
that brought you guys.
I'm prying a little bit, butI'll just add Something that
brought you guys together.
I mean not just the motorcycle,but just kind of the mindset of
having that kind of uniquecommonality in personalities.

Ben Ruben (07:16):
Well, I think we're both thrill seekers like well,
in retrospect I would call itthrill seekers um, uh, romantic
naivety.
And like we're gonna set theworld on fire.

(07:39):
And like, um, but by the seatof our pants, right Like I.
We met in Atlanta.
She was an au pair, she's ananny, live-in nanny, childcare
provider, and I met her.
I knew she was going to begoing back to Brazil at a
certain time.
I had to go back and finishschool, culinary school at the

(08:00):
time so like we were going to beapart for a while.
But then I was like I'll justmove to Brazil.
So like I moved to brazil for ayear, um, seat of my pants, I'm
gonna make it, it's gonna befine.
Like thrill seeking, um.
But I was there for a year andI was like it's not gonna work
here, so let's move back to thestates.
So she moved back to the States, right?

(08:22):
So we did the same thing, andso I guess that was like blind
faith.
Yeah, one might say we alwayshad that in common, for sure,
yeah.

Ron (08:35):
Yeah, I'm sorry.

Ben Ruben (08:38):
I actually think that you have to have that to get on
a two wheeled machine that isessentially you and death, and
the other outcome is a joyfulexperience.

Ron (08:56):
So, oh, that just just reminds me I had a wonderful
experience interviewing thefounder of Go Fast, don't Die,
brady McClain.
Are you familiar with Go Fast,don't Die?

Ben Ruben (09:08):
No, but I'm going to have to look it up now.

Ron (09:10):
You're going to need two or three t-shirts, like I have,
and I'm going to mention Bradyand Go Fast Don't Die on the
notes of this show.
But it's interesting in theconversation with Brady where he
described the philosophy ofwhat that means, he described it
the go fast part is not gocompletely crazy, but instead of

(09:34):
just grab hold of life, becauseyou never know what tomorrow
holds, grab hold of life andenjoy it to the fullest and,
along the way, be really kind toeach other.
And I believe the way hedescribed it was the go fast,
don't die was an expressioneither from his mother or his
aunt or somebody who would saythat kind of as a joke.

(09:54):
You know, relating kids goingout to play or whatever.
But it's turned into a verysuccessful business.
But but anyway, yeah, you'llhave to check out go fast, don't
Die.
They are the coolest people.
And one other plug for them Idon't get sponsorship from
anybody, so I want to plug themanyway, but they have a Sunday
email.
That's fabulous, it's wonderful, it's just so well-crafted.

(10:18):
And so, anyway, a plug for GoFast there.
But so you're riding, tell meabout the bike that you're
riding today and your ridingstyle and all that good stuff
right.

Ben Ruben (10:30):
So I today I have a d-strom 650 xt.
Um, I got it fully kitted fromthe factory.
Like I haven't customized it atall, well, I put stickers on it,
yeah I put stickers on my bagsand I have, um, I put a center
stand on it so I could, I canwork on it.

(10:50):
Eventually it's I.
I'm like, in one sense, I'mlike embarrassed to say this,
but on the other side, I'm likeproud to say it.
Uh, I've had it for a littleover a year and I have about
5,000 miles on it.
Okay, yeah, right, butconsidering like for three or

(11:10):
four months of the year, wereally can't be riding here
because of ice.
I think that's pretty good yeah.

Ron (11:18):
Sure, sure, yeah.
And so, based on where you'reat, what opportunities of types
of roads do you go on and whatdo you?

Ben Ruben (11:27):
Oh, yeah, okay so oh, here's a cool thing.
It just makes me excited.
I did my first water crossing,oh yeah, on it.
That's a type of road, right?
So I love where I live becauseit's temperate, right, not
temperate like Colorado, likeyou, right, but like I get all
four seasons.
They are very distinct, right?

(11:48):
So, like I was in, uh, coloradosprings two week, a week ago,
and like I woke up and it wassnowing and by the end of the
day it was like set, it's like60 degrees, and I was like this
is in denver.
It's like this is crazy, right,um, yeah, it Um.
But like, when it's cold here,it's cold, um, you know, and
it's going to be cold for awhile, and, um, it's shorter

(12:11):
than other places.
We're in the mid Atlantic, solike, uh, but like you said,
what are the riding styles?
So it takes me about an hourplus, let's say, an hour and a
half, to get to anywhere.
That's off road, okay, thetrail, um, um, the trails are
largely fire roads, um, andloops which is really nice

(12:33):
actually, um, that's partly whyI got the bike.
This bike, right, is I wantedessentially like the suv of
motorcycles.
Yep, um, I had a v-straw, uh, av-star, uh, yamaha v-star 1100,

(12:54):
custom, you know, uh, cruiser,as my first bike and it was
great, but it like had a kind ofa singular purpose yeah, well,
when you're friends and you seethis just wonderful tree-lined
road that's dirt, and all yourfriends just take off and you

(13:15):
just sit there too.

Ron (13:17):
I used to ride a hond, exclusively.
I rode a hond goldwing foryears and that's what I would
experience over and over againgoing down the highway highway,
long trips, oh man, I was theking of the road.
And then my friends would go upa dirt road and I'm screwed,
I'm just sitting there, yeah, so, so, yeah, as you, as I think I
described, I ride a BMW GS ismy dual sport bike, and then

(13:38):
I've got a Triumph, uh, triumphBonneville, on the grass too,
but mys is my go-to bike for theswiss army knife of motorcycles
.

Ben Ruben (13:48):
Right, just like what you're, yeah, yeah I mean yours
is like a a bit more maturethan mine.
I mean yours is like heavy anda 1200.
Yeah right, it's, it's a 1250.
It's massive.
It is massive, Absolutely Um inevery way, shape or form.

(14:08):
But what's really nice aboutyours, uh, from like a my
perspective is like I'm prettyshort, so the low center of
gravity on yours is really niceuh, to keep like someone like me
grounded, but uh, it's reallyheavy still from ergonomics,

(14:29):
again, like I'm short, so I'vegot to find a bike that I can
like get on and it's cool.
I love my bike.
I actually I think I told youthis last time I ride with a
bunch of guys and like they'realways talking about other bikes

(14:49):
, like the next thing they'regoing to put on their bike, or
the next bike they're going toget, or like what's.
And I'm I have, I do.
I don't have that feeling atall.
Like this, is it?
I'm good?
You know, my wife reminds metoo Like this is it, I'm good.

Ron (15:06):
You know, my wife reminds me too that this is it, I'm good
at this point.

Ben Ruben (15:12):
Yeah, yeah.

Ron (15:14):
Yeah.

Ben Ruben (15:15):
Yeah, so like it fits it.
I try to be relativelyminimalist as far as like a
person goes and like I have onebike to rule them all right.
Oh, here's a cool thing.
I actually one of the thingsI've wanted to do with it.
I wanted to do with it was, um,go camping, moto camping.
Yeah, yeah, um, I want to dothey.
Just, they just completed, Ithink, the east coast bdr.

(15:39):
Oh, right, right, I think theylike just finished it and so I
need to put new tires on.
I just talked about not puttinganything on my car, on my bike
but like I need to put off-roadtires on um and I have this
really cool rig that's called.
It's called the haven um tent.

(16:00):
It's a tent system, but it's ahammock.

Ron (16:05):
Oh yeah, sure, I've seen those and it's not like a
regular sling hammock, but it'sa lay flat.
I have seen something like that, are you?

Ben Ruben (16:20):
familiar with a YouTuber by the name of Rob
Hamilton.
Nope, I love this.
You give me more things to lookup.

Ron (16:23):
This is great, I love it.
Yes, I interviewed rob um quitea while back too.
A wonderful guy.
I ran across his youtube videosof moto camping and, um, he, he
has used the reason that cameto mind is he has used exactly
what you're describing, thatkind of uh, of a hammock type of
deal, but but it has a real bed, solid bed or whatever you want

(16:46):
to call it that you configureand then it's extremely
stabilized and he demonstrateshow it works.
By the way, again, I'll put itunder the plug for Rob, because
he does amazing videos and it'sjust a heck of a nice guy, but

(17:08):
Rob never says a word in hisvideos.
Never says word.
It's just all the sounds ofnature he mixes in music.
Um, yeah, I'll send you a linkto rob stuff, but he's, yeah,
where does he live?
He is based out of australia.

Ben Ruben (17:20):
Oh snap, yeah, yeah, good okay, so, yeah, so that's
um.
So riding style is uh likerelaxed.
I like to like upright is great.
I have back problems.
Upright's great, but cruisingnot so great, like cruisers,
like I love a standard, standardposition.

(17:40):
Standard riding position isperfect.
Um, and I have a limitation ofmy bike, which is its own
limitation of being only a 650cc bike yeah, well, there's a
lot of advantages of having alighter back, especially for
agility.

Ron (17:56):
Yeah, able to, uh, yeah, not, not worry about the thing
falling over on you and stayingon top of you until help comes,
you know so yeah yeah, it's inthe back of my mind quite often,
but yeah, I'm really.

Ben Ruben (18:08):
I like I did a lot of due diligence and a lot, of, a
lot of trial and and studying tofigure out what the best bike
was for me, and uh, I went likeCadillac Triumph Tiger 900 fully
loaded um.
I did try that one, I tried theGS750 and I feel like that's

(18:34):
kind of like the, the midbetween this one and then I like
ultimately ended on like theCasio watch of motorcycles rock
solid too.
A long history, yeah uh, greatbike, yeah, I love it.
And um, and I've actuallygotten I was thinking about this
, uh, last week actually I'vegotten really comfortable with

(18:55):
dropping it oh, that's good.

Ron (18:58):
Yeah, I plan to wait until my neighbor my neighbor's got a
gs adventure, like mine too.
They're identical bikes,practically and i'm'm going to
his name's, brian, and I'm goingto work a deal with Brian where
we're going to get in one ofour garages and put down padding
and each of us are going toslowly lay down our bikes and
then we're going to pick themback up again.
I have not done that on my GSas of yet, and I know there's

(19:21):
going to be a day I'm going tobe able to.
I'm going to need to somehowcomfortably, without throwing
out my back like I've done ahundred times pick that thing
back up.
So I have been watching allsorts of YouTube videos on the
technique for doing it, but it'stimes like that that I'm
thinking, yeah, 650, that wouldbe nice.

Ben Ruben (19:38):
Also, you know, because you, we rarely ride out
there out where we might drop italone.
You, we rarely ride out thereout where we might drop it alone
.
Yeah, and like there is abenefit of having a partner with
you for them to counterbalanceas you're learning to like,
because it's essentially a squatlift if you have somebody on
the other side of it that doesthat as you lift it.

(20:03):
It's something I learned at aoff-road school.
But DC Dirt Camp there's a plug.
Oh, okay, dc Dirt Camp, it's afemale owned.
It's in, I think, winchester,virginia.
She's all over the place.
I haven't ever actually.
It was besides like talking toher about scheduling for the

(20:28):
class.
We haven't really ever talked,but like she's probably, she'd
be probably a cool person totalk to.

Ron (20:36):
Yeah, I'm just making a note.
Yeah, I will reach out, I willreach out.
So, ben, one of the things thatwas posted on your account on
Instagram, and this is what itsaid we can't remove those parts
of us that send us spiraling,but through mindfulness practice
we can get quicker atrecognizing them as they are and

(20:58):
allowing them their passage intime.
Man, that's a lot to unpack.
Yeah, that's a lot to unpack.
So let's circle around thislittle orbit thing.
Yeah, so for one thing, you'vegot one of the most catchy names

(21:19):
on Instagram ever.
I think that's wonderful themindful motorcycle.
So how about we start there?
Tell me a little bit about that, and then maybe we can come
back to this quote or quoteslike it.
And what does that mean to you?
What does what does the wholemindful practice mean to you?

Ben Ruben (21:38):
Well, okay, all right , cool, Well, um, so my license
plate is mindful, by the way, mN, d, f, l, like that's, it
worked out really great.
Um, I never thought I'd have avanity plate but, and like
someone that's like trying to beZen, having a vanity plates
kind of seems funny.
Um, the.

(22:02):
So I found one day riding shortstory right I was out one day
riding and I found going 60miles an hour, looking down at
the pavement I know we're notsupposed to look down at the
pavement, but, like you know,realizing that I'm like four
feet off of the pavement that'smoving 65 miles an hour behind

(22:23):
me, that, um, I felt the samefeel with the wind and the noise
and the everything going on.
I actually had the same kind ofsensation I got when I meditate
, right, and like I am ameditate meditator, meditator, I
meditate daily.
Um, I've been to a retreat, a 10day silent meditation retreat.

(22:45):
Um, I consider myself a mindfulindividual.
Um, and I actually think thateveryone is actually already a
mindful individual because, like, how many times a day do you
think about yourself?
All the time, we're alwaysthinking about ourselves.

(23:09):
Um, it's, it's human nature andwhat I think.
We on a motorcycle.
You're forced, like you have to.
It's like life or death thatyou are acutely aware of
everything that's going onaround you.
Right, right, you are thedefinition of mindful by default

(23:33):
on a motorcycle.
Goal of meditation is not tosit and and clear your head and
live in a empty space that ispeace and quiet, but like the

(23:54):
goal of meditation to thereisn't really a goal, but like
it's, it's all about just thepractice, like doing something
with regularity that you arejust practicing for the sake of
doing it right and like, yeah,okay, motorcycling is a blast,
right, but you have to practiceat that, it is a practice you

(24:17):
know, um, sitting on a stool oron a little bench that I have,
or on a on the floor, on apillow or in a chair or anywhere
, and like doing nothing.
Air quotes is so hard, oh it is.
It is.
And so the idea that what whathappens is just like on a

(24:42):
motorcycle and just like whenmeditating your mind goes out
and you start to get distractedand you're like, oh, wait, wait,
I'm doing something.
I'm doing something and you'vegot to bring it back, and then
inevitably it goes out.
Oh, I've got to do something.
Ok, and like I think that somepractitioners of meditation
would say the key is that's thepractice, that's what you're

(25:06):
trying to get better at, andyou're trying to get better at
that without beating yourself upabout it.

Ron (25:14):
That's.
That's the key, isn't it?
You know, and I don't thinkI've ever heard anyone express
it that way Adding the partwithout beating yourself up.
I have never heard that before.
Just now, that makes so muchsense because I'm the one trying
to breathe and know that I'mbreathing.

(25:34):
You know, when I'm meditating,usually it's going to be early
in the morning, really early.
I usually have my coffee readyto start making a little after
five o'clock in the morning, soby 5.15, I'm down there, I have
my coffee and I'm taking my deepbreaths and dog jumps over my
lap or whatever, but where doesmy brain go?

(25:54):
My brain goes to the 6 ammeeting that's coming up.
What am I going to say?
I've got some very hard,difficult tasks in front of me.
I feel like I don't know whatI'm doing a lot of times and
here I'm drifting off out towork, you know already, while
I'm still in my pajamas,supposed to be relaxing,
drinking a really wonderful cupof coffee, but I'm at work

(26:15):
already in my head.

Ben Ruben (26:17):
Uh-huh.
So then, what do you do?
I beat myself up because ofthat right, Sorry what.

Ron (26:22):
I beat myself up because of that, yes, because of that
right.
Sorry what I beat myself up?
Because of that, yes, I focusUh-huh.

Ben Ruben (26:28):
Well, so here's what's interesting.
There's something, apsychological modality that's
called IFS internal familysystems and I mean a lot of
different modalities.
Talk about this where there'slots of parts of us we have a

(26:48):
concept of, like we are a single, being Right, but like I have
found multiple things that existin my.
I call it the committee, like Igot a committee that lives in
my head.

Ron (27:02):
Yeah.

Ben Ruben (27:02):
You know, and, and sometimes, sometimes some parts
of the committee are yelling andscreaming and other parts are
sitting at the.
it's like a boardroom andthey're like sitting at the
table and other times, the, the,someone stands up and it's like
you guys settle down over thereLike this is what we're going
to do next, or um, you know,most of the time the loudest

(27:24):
voice in the room is someonebeing critical of me.
Yeah, and, and that guy's got ateam of that.
Guy's got a team of cronies,right.
There's like the pusher that'slike you got to do more.
There's the perfectionistthat's like you got to be
perfect and you've got um, gotum, the the over the overlord of

(27:47):
this that I've actually.
This is super funny but likemine actually looks like the,
the uh, the bad witch in, uh,the maleficent, oh yeah, but not
the angelina jolie version, theclassic Disney animated version
.
That's what mine kind of lookslike, and I've named her Ursula

(28:10):
sometimes.
So, not the right character namebecause that's like Little
Mermaid, I'll follow you thisother and Ursula.
But also sometimes I just callher Jerry or Justin, because I
think that's think that's afunny.
That's funny to call her thattoo.
Yeah, cause I got to make funof it, like you know.
Um, like, oh, justin, but likeJustin looks like this crazy,

(28:35):
scary witch.
Well, um, serious.

Ron (28:37):
Is it fair to say that this is serious business for some
people too, who, uh, whetherit's people too, who, whether
it's related to depression orsome kind of anxieties of you
know either, an anxiety about,you're just never good enough.
Maybe they were raised in afamily that just always told
them that, or had a spouse thatalways told them that, or others

(28:59):
, you know, growing up you'rejust not quite good enough and
people beat themselves up somuch that they're destroyed
right, so well society is.

Ben Ruben (29:12):
I don't want to like get too like uh, uh, outside of
the realm of like mindfulnessstuff, but like again, kind of
bringing that like.
Once you really dive intomindfulness practices you awaken
, like there's in Buddhism youknow they talk about an

(29:40):
awakening, right there werespiritual awakenings right, or
that the Buddha was awake orwoke up or whatever, but like
it's always happening.
Once you, and once you realizethese things, you become, you
awaken and it's a it's like analways thing and sometimes you
you shut down again, you go backto sleep and you know it's

(30:00):
always moving, but like, and youknow it's always moving, but

(30:24):
like Society, consumerism tellsus we're not enough, we don't
have enough, we need more Right,our jobs tell us you have to
perform better.
You know what happened to, Iguess, and I don't know if this
ever existed, but like I'm doingthe best I can with what I've
got.
You know, and our critic in myhead part of the committee is
telling me all the time like youmessed up or you're not good
enough or you're, but like goodenough for what, man?
Yeah, yeah, like.

Ron (30:43):
I don't have enough of what man.

Ben Ruben (30:44):
Yeah, yeah, Like I don't have enough of what, Like
what do I need more for Right?
But like All of that is anunconsciousness, like a lack of
consciousness.
You know, Eckhart Tolle has abook, the Power of Now.

Ron (31:03):
I'm familiar with that.
Eckhart Tolle has a book, thePower of Now.
I'm familiar with that.

Ben Ruben (31:05):
And in that book like in, I guess, the intro or
something he talks about likeall of a sudden everything
became clear, because he hitright now, right now, like,
right, this second I am safe.

(31:27):
Right, nothing is directly.
Like, right now, nothing isdirectly impacting my safety.
Right In a week, when I moveinto an apartment and I can't
afford it, then I'll be, thenI'll worry about financial
destitution, you know, or if Iget sick down the road, like

(31:49):
projection of future or likeregret and remorse of the past.
But like, fundamentally, rightnow I'm great.
Yeah, what happens when you'reon the motorcycle?
You're like, oh my god, this isamazing, yeah.
And then like a car comes,you're like oh man, you like

(32:11):
move out of the way and you'relike, oh, I hate that car, like
what is that guy doing, you know?
like you flip him the bird oryou want to punch off his side
view mirror or whatever it is,or you speed up and you like
look at him, you know, and um,but then, like, you come back to
, like, you come back to yourspace and at some point you

(32:31):
might beat yourself up abouthaving just done that um, in a
way, you actually just like, putyourself more in danger by
being reactive, um, which youmay beat yourself up about, but,
like, had you had the presenceof mind to be like, oh you know
what, even though that thingjust happened past, I am

(32:56):
fundamentally safe right now andI can enjoy the right now
because I'm on two wheels andI'm just cruising down the
highway.
Like in the span of two years,I um, and I'm just cruising down
the highway, like in the spanof two years, I went to a
meditation retreat 10 days andit came out of it like a new
person or like an evolved person.

(33:16):
Three weeks later, my nowex-wife still friend asked me
for a divorce.
Five months later, I moved outof my marital home into my
parents' home at like 36 yearsold.
I lost my job, uh, a monthbefore she divorced me, um, and
then I got a new job and the newjob required me to take tests,

(33:39):
and I'm not very good at testing, test taking and um, so on a
daily basis was failing.
Yeah, like you hit the buttonand it's red and it says fail.
Yeah, and like somewherethrough all of that, I found

(34:00):
gratitude.
Well, it found me.
This is what's funny, I think,like it found me.
This is what's funny, I think,like it found me.
A lot of things find me, findus right.
So, all of a sudden, I didn'thave an attitude of gratitude
and all of a sudden, like Istarted seeing roses and pink
clouds, it was like a feeling ofgratitude all of a sudden like

(34:25):
showed up and, maybe because I'mmindful of my existence, I was
able to feel it.

Ron (34:36):
I may have mentioned when we were visiting before that,
especially this past year, I'vehad a very hectic business
travel schedule.
You know, I work in ITfull-time corporate America, so
I just do this.
I do this for fun and it makesme very, very happy to do this
and motorcycling and all thatstuff, but anyway.
So every week I was on a flight, every Tuesday morning going

(34:59):
out, usually Thursday nightcoming back, and, frankly, I
would just get get by the end ofthe week.
I was just so exhausted, acompetent, a combination of
being exhausted and, frankly,just sometimes pissed off at the
world at everything.
But then I would get in my theuber, the lady or gentleman
coming to pick me up and takingmy roller bag from me and

(35:26):
putting it in their trunk, theirpersonal trunk, and just saying
, hey, it's good to see you.
And a total stranger, neverseen them before.
But they say hey, it's good tosee you.
I heard that any number oftimes.
I don't know if that's in Ubertraining or not, but any number
of times I heard that and Ithink, if I did anything right,
maybe it was the mindfulnesspractices that I had experienced

(35:48):
through work.
That had been something thatwas sponsored by top executives
within our company ismindfulness practices.
I really fell in love with it,but I could have stayed mad.
I could have stayed mad andthinking I cannot wait to get
out of this Uber, get on theplane, get off the plane, take

(36:10):
the shuttle bus home, get home,hug my wife, go to bed and then
I'm going to be happy.
But instead, what I learned isthat you know what and in most
cases it was true this Uberdriver seems to care about me.
In most cases it was true, thisUber driver seems to care about
me now, and I think it's notthat they want that.
They're fishing for a big tip.
Maybe that's part of it.

(36:32):
But I pick up genuineness andin most cases I end up talking
with the Uber driver the wholeway, the whole time, and any
number of times I've gotten acomment from a driver who says
I'm so glad you talked with me.
Most people just put in theirearbuds and ignore me completely

(36:53):
, and I've just heard this anynumber of times and I would
really like to have aconversation because I'm so
bored.
You know, and we've we've hadthat.
So I don't know, maybe I'mreally fishing for some
relations here, but if it hadnot been for the fact that I
learned that just breathe andknow that you're breathing, like

(37:15):
the old mindfulness adage, andtake a breath and think, just
like what you're saying.
You know, I'm really gratefulI've got a job.
It requires me to travel, butI've got a job.
I've got enough money to payfor this air.
You know the trip.
For the most part I can givethe Uber driver a nice tip and

(37:37):
this guy or gal happens to bereally nice to a total stranger
me, and that's a lot, that's awhole lot there, especially as I
sit in the back seat and I'mlooking around all over the
place and passing under bridges,where there's people sleeping
under the bridge, you know.
Then I'm thinking again yeah,life is pretty good, I don't

(38:00):
need to be pissed off all thetime, like I feel, like I am
sometimes.

Ben Ruben (38:03):
I am sometimes yeah, well, what's interesting about
that story that you just told meor us, the listeners, everybody
the world is like mindfulnesswas present even before you got
grateful, like you, the, youstarted your story with very

(38:30):
specific details.
Like you got off the plane, youwere pissed off, so you're
aware, you're mindful of thefact that you're pissed off.
You get to the Uber driver.
You interacted with the Uberdriver driver.
You hand the uber driver yourrolling pack.
The rolling pack goes into thecar, the car you talk to.

(38:51):
The uber driver says how areyou?
Or the interaction with theuber driver, like all of those
things that you described aspart of that story, you were
acutely aware that they werehappening.
So, going back to that, likethere are parts of us.
There was a part of you thatwas doing the thing.

(39:13):
There was a part of you thatwas feeling the things.
There was a part of you thatwas recording the things so that
you could relay them to us,right, um, there were probably
other parts, like if I said toyou, what did it smell like, you
could probably like oh, yeah,know what it smells like, right,

(39:35):
because we are this reallyamazing, um, like composite of
all of these different parts andlike you're tapped into them
and at a point gratitude showsup for you.
In this case, and becauseyou're kind of already on the

(39:59):
way, you're all.
You were like you were ready toreceive it.
In a way Like I had a guy tellme once that he asked me why do
I meditate?
And I said, well, I'm trying tofind peace, I'm trying to get
peaceful.
And he's like, well, have youever experienced peace before?
And I was like not really.
He's like well, how are yougoing to know what it is when it

(40:21):
shows up in meditation Ifyou've never experienced it out
of meditation?
And I was like huh, and thenone day it found me.
You know, I had to, I had tolet go.
Like in your case, you kind oflike let go of your, of your

(40:44):
energy.
You're like how you werefeeling.
You had to like give it away.
And then what came in wasalmost the polar opposite of
that energy.
Right, like that kind of likeself-centered, high, strong.
Woe is me.
I'm angry at the world.
And what came in becausesomebody gave you niceness,

(41:05):
peace, love and and potentialmotorcycle in the future yeah,
you received it because you werealready on the way to getting
there, you were aware of whatwas going on and at that point,
there it was, but, like, itdoesn't stay there all the time,
which is a beautiful thingabout life, it's always moving.

(41:29):
And so, like, okay, you likewere grateful for that ride and
you remember that ride and younow get to pass it forward,
right, you get to continue togive the gift that was given to
you.
And here we go, I you told me astory.
I think you've told me a coupleof stories when we were, when
we were talking the first timeabout, um, some of your

(41:52):
adventures out on themotorcycles, and you talk, talk
to me about a guy at a coffeeshop and a bed and a picnic
table.

Ron (42:01):
Yes, yes.
So that was when um at met this.
Here's the brief story thatI've shared on the podcast.
Before.
I was just out for a solo ridenot too far from my house,
stopped at a gas station to topoff and there was a guy with a
brand new ducati who was sittingon a bench brand new bike, he
and he was decked out too.
He had all this ducati gear andstuff sitting there on a bench

(42:24):
went over and talked to him fora second and he said well, I
think I'm going to ride to acoffee shop.
And I said I know one of myfavorites and I know a back way
to get there.
That's wonderful.
Would you like to come alongwith me, ride with me?
He said, sure.
So he hops on his bike and westart cruising up through the
canyon.
And I'm watching him in my rearview mirror.

(42:45):
We had never ridden together.
Obviously he's staying up justfine.
So we're twisting through thecanyon just having a blast
through there.
We stop midway, check in witheach other.
He said I'm having a blast.
Here's the cut to the point ofthis story.
We get over to the coffee shop.
We get over to the coffee shopand he said by the way, thanks

(43:09):
for coming by to say hello,because my wife died two weeks
ago and she asked that, aftereverything was settled with her,
that I go and buy a motorcycle.
So I just bought this bike.
I just rode it off the showroomfloor, I topped off with gas
here and I just became so bike.
I just wrote it off theshowroom floor, I topped off
with gas here and I just becameso sad.
I couldn't move.

(43:29):
And then you came over and saidyou want to go for a ride, you
want to go get a cup of coffee.
And I had no idea.
I had no idea.
But anyway, I think that thatwas a story, that I was trying.

Ben Ruben (43:42):
Yeah Like do you think the Uber driver knew your
state when he said hey?
no they don't right, but like,that's kind of the power of it's
kind of the power of what we doon motorcycles, right, we're
like unassuming that the otherperson is anything but what they

(44:05):
are, right, but like.
What I think is amazing aboutmotorcycle culture is, like, the
lack of judgment.
Yeah Right, like we don't.
I don't really ultimately carewhat bike you're on.
You're on a bike, we're bros,that's it.

(44:25):
Or we're family, right, um,you're in a car, that might be a
different story, but if it'slike a cool vintage car, okay,
we're good, um, you know, butlike and I think that part of
the camaraderie there is that weall share this bond of
essentially like the need forboth, the like, the thrill, like

(44:52):
connection.
We're all looking forconnection and like, when I'm on
my bike, I'm connected to it,I'm connected to the universe,
it's connected to me, I'mconnected to the ground,
hopefully, right, two wheelsdown, right, and like.
Then I see another person I had.
I've never seen them before, Idon't know what they're doing.

(45:13):
They're on the other side ofthe road, going the other side
of the other direction.
All I have to do is throw themtwo fingers and we instantly
bonded.
That's it, that's it.
And like and like oh man, thisis wild, I've been talking about
this all week.
Like the world is in a constantstate of both chaos and a want

(45:35):
for no chaos.
Right, like, as a individual, Iboth don't trust anyone, but I
really want to connect withpeople and trust that they are
trustworthy simultaneously.
Like that's how the universeoperates.
My dad was like dude.
That's just like the, theplight of the planet, that's

(45:58):
like our the existence of theplanet is a simultaneous like
pushing against that.
It's like it's what Alan, likeAlan Watts, that it's like it's
what Alan, like Alan Watts talksabout.
It's like that's what Zen isright.
Like it's this.
It's this uh, duality ofexistence where, like
simultaneously is chaotic butit's the need.

(46:21):
It's the piece, the rumble of amotorcycle.
You're flying at a hundredmiles an hour down the road and
everything is like quiet, likeyou dialed in, that's it.
You know, yeah, and so likethat is.
That is why mindful motorcycle,right, that is why I think I

(46:42):
mean I, I think that's mypurpose is to bring this thing,
whatever this thing is, to allthe people.
Let's go back to the quote.
What was the quote?
Again, can you read that quote?

Ron (46:58):
We'll read it again.
Sure, we can't remove thoseparts of us that send us
spiraling.
Remove those parts of us thatsend us spiraling.
But through mindfulnesspractice we can get quicker at
recognizing them as they are andallowing them their passage in
time.

Ben Ruben (47:16):
Yeah, right.
So, um, like I am, I've gotthis, we're all, are all, uh,
some of our parts and, like alot of times I talk about me try

(47:37):
to kind of get frustrated thatI can't get rid of my anxiety,
like I can't get rid of my angeror my fear or, to be honest,
sometimes my like love that'slike so vulnerable and like
makes me feel like kind ofguilty and shameful.

(47:58):
Like I'm this dude that likeloves deeply, like I cried while
watching a Disney movie on asales conference amongst my like
peers.

Ron (48:11):
That's great man, that's genuineness.

Ben Ruben (48:14):
And I'm like, I'm like, why do I want to hide my
tears?
Right, you feel like you wentthrough an emotional washing
machine and you come out feelinggreat, no matter what they were
for, right, um.
And and like, why do I want toget rid?
I can't get rid of those partsI can't, right, um.

(48:37):
And so allowing them the spaceto just be like acceptance is
the key to my happiness.
Just be like acceptance is thekey to my happiness, right, and
I?
Well, maybe not happiness, wetalked about this a little bit.
Acceptance is how I is the keyto my joy.
Yeah, today, right, because ifI accept that I'm sad, I can be

(48:59):
joyful of my acceptance.
If I accept that I'm happy, Ican, I can be joyful of the fact
that I'm happy.
Right, if I accept that I don'thave a lot of money, I can find
joy in the fact that the simplethings are of such great value,

(49:19):
right, um.
And so I think that I wasprobably hurting when I wrote
that um, for I don't know what,what are the many things that
I've hurt myself or like I'veallowed in?

(49:41):
But like, giving it its space,it will move.
The lincoln quote right, thistoo shall pass.
Yeah, right and oh, this isfunny.
So monday night I taught, Iteach tai chi and um, another

(50:01):
mindfulness practice which isthe complete opposite of
motorcycling right, slow.
And this woman I was teachingthis woman who has fibromyalgia,
so she's in pain constantly,like her skin is on fire all the
time and her joints, like herbody hates her and like she is

(50:25):
not ever going to not feel thosethings, but like if you accept
once she accepted them, she cankind of move through it and say,
well, is this a reason for meto stop finding the joys in my

(50:46):
life or seeking things?
And like Just putting her focusmindfully on something else for
a little while Helps.
Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, and likethat's the key to to not being

(51:14):
grumpy all the time, or to likeexperiencing gratitude, like
realizing what we've got andbeing grateful for it is like
saying, all right, this thing isthis thing, and I know it's
gonna pass and then anotherthing will come.
Yeah, yeah, you ever been stuckin the rain on a motorcycle?

(51:35):
Oh, yeah.

Ron (51:37):
Are you angry at the?

Ben Ruben (51:39):
rain?
Not at all, no, it's actuallypretty effing amazing.

Ron (51:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll say this real quickly.
I have been trying to figureout for years.
Maybe a listener will know.
There was a quote in a movie.
In the movie scene there is anolder man, as I picture it,

(52:04):
standing on a cliff, overlooking, I think, an ocean, and there's
a massive storm out there, justthis massive storm that's
coming his way.
The air is moving past him andhe, with a smile, says show me
the power.

Ben Ruben (52:22):
A lot of suffering.
A lot of suffering is perceived, suffering because you're
looking at the storm and youdon't want to deal with it.
Yeah, inevitability, you can,you, you are, we are so strong

(52:51):
Like we have weathered so manystorms already and we will
weather more storms.
So take your bike and point itat the storm and say that's not
going to stop my ride today.

Ron (53:09):
Yeah.

Ben Ruben (53:09):
You know I've got I will dry out.
You know clothing dries.
There are things called towels.
You can wipe down your bike.
You can gloss it up.
You know I hate wet socks andmy shoes are destroyed.
But like, whatever right Ilearned at some point.

(53:32):
Do you know?
Buffalo point themselves intostorms innately because they
have something that tells themthe fastest way through is
through.
If you think about it, whatcauses the most suffering is

(53:54):
like if I'm running away fromthe storm, it's on my back.
I'm looking over my shoulder,it's inevitably going to come.
Yeah, right, it's inevitablygoing to get to me.
So, like I can either continueto run away from it, which
causes more suffering, or I canjust stop and like put my feet

(54:15):
down and say like all right,whatever it is, it's that's what
it's going to be.
And like that's metaphoric forlife.
Right, I have to deal withtough stuff.
I have to deal with toughemotions.
Like we have to deal withtraffic on our motorcycles when
it's 80 degrees and we're infull gear.

(54:38):
Yeah, you know, discomfort iseverywhere.
For us to have the expectationthat we are going to be
comfortable ever is a setupright.

(54:58):
I'm actually rarely comfortableon my motorcycle.
It's not a comfortable place tobe, but like I am working
through discomfort in order tohave to find joy.
Yeah, and that is probably whyanyone ever buys a triumph
thruxton understand that yeahyou know, like it cannot be

(55:25):
comfortable to ride as a cafe ina cafe racer position, yeah,
but like they do it because it'sjoyful, right, and like.
So some people invite,discomfort Motorcyclists,
absolutely.
I mean, I don't know if we talkabout this a little bit, but
like I think that Motorcyclingis, I mean motorcyclists we are

(55:47):
the most vulnerable people outthere.

Ron (55:50):
Oh, absolutely, and I think that that's one of the things
that attract us together.
Even from a biker wavestandpoint, you're waving to
another individual who's puttingup with the risk, with the wind
, with the heat, with the cold.
Who's putting up with the riskwith the wind, with the heat,
with the cold.
There's just a ton in commonwith this.

Ben Ruben (56:09):
That individual who's passing the opposite direction
at 60 miles an hour, yeah, sothat just suggests to me that
we're all sensitive, yeah, andso I think it's funny that, like
the gruff motorcyclist who'sangry and aggressive and all
that like biker gang stuff iscomes back to that like chaos

(56:33):
and peace thing, those guys arenot inherently angry or
aggressive.
It's that we're vulnerable andwe might not know how to express
our feelings of vulnerability,which is why we ride.

(56:57):
You know, we ride for whateverreason, but we're seeking
adventure, we're seeking stuff.

Ron (57:09):
And man, is it cool, it is so that's long story for that
quote.

Ben Ruben (57:12):
We have other quotes.

Ron (57:14):
Not in front of me at the moment.
Okay, good, because that'stough, that was intense, that
was a deep one there, hey.
But relating to this, again,you picked a super good name to
go for Instagram and stuff andwe talked about this a little
bit, but I'd be curious to knowwhere do you want to go from
here?
You're an influencer.

(57:35):
I would consider you very muchan influencer.
You were an influencer to me,following you on Instagram, and
what you posted there and what Iread was really insightful.
What you posted there and whatI read was really insightful.
And again, it maps back to whatI'm reading every Sunday from
Go Fast, don't Die, from thatcompany and Brady McLean and his
team Just wonderful, positivestuff, insightful I should say

(58:00):
insightful stuff.
Where do you see yourselftaking this?
Do you want to keep going withit?
I know you've got a day job,just like I do too, but what do
you want to do next?

Ben Ruben (58:11):
Ben All right.
So I talked to.
So when I first had the ideafor this, I reached out to some
people that I respected inYouTube land and I was amazed
that they responded to me.
Right, not only did theyrespond to me, but they were

(58:35):
like that's a good idea.
I've never even thought aboutsomething like that.
That's a super cool concept oflike looking at the mindfulness
aspect of motorcycling.
And, um, then I thought so Isaid, okay, that's cool.

(58:55):
So I'm going to throw a probeout there and I'm going to see.
I'm going to just like createthis account on Instagram and
see what happens.
So I did that and like it grewpretty quickly.
I mean, it's not like you knowthese massive massive, but like
for little me, uh, you know,having a decent following was
like, oh, that's cool, um, andlike it's very cool.

(59:19):
And so I was like, okay, sothere's some some confirmation
that I'm on the right track too.
And then, um, I was likesomething told me, like this
year is something I should.
I should do something with itthis year, right?
And um, then you reached outand it's like oh.

(59:41):
I thought, oh, you know what Ithought?
I thought maybe I should try itlike as a podcast format, just
to get some more content outthere.
And then you reached out, likewhat?
Three weeks ago, a month ago?
And we talked and we were goingto do this.
A week ago a buddy of mine saidhey man, I've been working with
this client, he's inaudiovisual, he does documented
stuff, and he's like I've got aclient who has a podcast studio

(01:00:06):
that needs someone to do dryruns.
And I'm like, okay, that's,here's another one, right.
And ultimately, what I wouldlove to do is put stuff out in
the world on YouTube.
I would love to read books onthis stuff and talk to people

(01:00:30):
about their mindfulnessexperience all the time.

Ron (01:00:33):
Yeah, yeah.

Ben Ruben (01:00:36):
That's what I would love to do.
I would love to be the monk ona motorcycle.

Ron (01:00:41):
You know, ben, I see a need for that, I really really do.
I see this wave.
So, putting back on mycorporate IT hat between
artificial intelligence, whatthat's expected to be able to do
in the future, between that andglobalization, where jobs,

(01:01:07):
frankly, will go to differentplaces impacting people, I think
there's going to be a lot ofpeople, both males and females,
finding themselves stranded froma career standpoint, because
we're at this really I don'tknow what you would call it
revolutionary time with AI andwith a combination of social

(01:01:30):
media and a whole bunch of stuffwhere I do feel like that,
there's going to be a lot ofpeople feeling really, really
desperate, and those are peoplethat I want to try to encourage
by just telling them my story inthe same way you tell your
story, and that, at least for me, motorcycling has fixed a lot

(01:01:53):
of issues for me and it does itcontinuously.
I had a chance to ride againjust yesterday, so we were on
vacation for a while and hadn'tridden in quite a while.
Then we'd had some bad weatherand stuff, but the weather was
good yesterday, so lateyesterday, after I finished up
some work from my day job, Ihopped on the bike, rode out

(01:02:14):
about 20 miles to this littlecoffee shop where I go to, and I
swear I didn't have to even doone rotation of those tires
before I started feeling better.
I started feeling better.
I started feeling better when Iput my helmet on and all of a
sudden I'm back to my old self,who's not mad at the world
anymore, similar to theconversation with Uber drivers.

(01:02:36):
So that's among many things.
That's what I love aboutmotorcycling is that I know what
it does for me and has done forme since I was a little kid.
And getting the opportunity,the privilege to meet people
like you and there's so manylike you, you and me in the

(01:02:56):
motorcycling community that dohave the similar attitude that,
yeah, we're broken people, weare screwed up at times, but we
have something we found thatreally makes us happy, brings us
a real smile, and our hope isthat other people can find that
or something similar.
That's kind of my currentphilosophy, I guess.

Ben Ruben (01:03:20):
I have to challenge you, man.
Okay, because the thing thatyou, I think that and this might
be a little bit down downer,but I think there's a sliver of

(01:03:41):
gold in it, no-transcript.
And so what happens to you whenyou go to put your helmet on,

(01:04:08):
or probably before you put yourhelmet on, when you wake up and
you're like, oh, the weather isgoing to be great today, yeah
Right, the challenge I guess Iwould put to you is like when
does your ride start?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, guess Iwould put to you is like when
does your ride start.

Ron (01:04:26):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ben Ruben (01:04:27):
I hear you.
I hear you.
And then the question is doesyour ride start when you're
feeling miserable?
Because if your ride startswhen you're feeling miserable,
wouldn't then miserable be agreat place to be?
Right, when you are at thepinnacle of your ride, you're at

(01:04:51):
that coffee shop or you'recruising down the highway.
It's going to end soon.
Yeah, you're already in it.
So, like, is that the best partIs that where the joy or the
happiness really is Right, andthis kind of goes back to like

(01:05:13):
ebbs and flows of life.
Right, like you said, there aregoing to be people that are
going to be desperate, they'regoing to be miserable, they're
going to be sad, they're goingto be scared, they're going to
lose their jobs, they're goingto lose their lives, they're
going to lose a lot of stuff.
And, like, if we can't figureout what's inside of us that

(01:05:34):
brings us joy, then nothingoutside is going to do it.
Yeah, and like, my guess isbased on your story, what brings
you joy isn't actually ridingthe motorcycle right now, or
putting the helmet on right now,or having a motorcycle right

(01:05:56):
now, or being miserable ahead ofgetting on the motorcycle.
It's actually the part that yousaid after that, which is that
it's done this for you since youwere a little kid.

Ron (01:06:09):
True, I have used the expression many times and it's
absolutely true that in manyways going out for a ride as a
62-year-old now I go back to my11-year-old self.
I go back to my 11 year oldself where the world was simple

(01:06:29):
and it was just a joy to feelthat those two wheels with a
motor underneath me and and go.

Ben Ruben (01:06:35):
So that's that self, that's the part of you.
We're a collection of parts.
That's the part of you that ifyou cultivate, if you help that
part grow, blossom, like youwater that flower, not courtesy

(01:06:58):
of buying more motorcycles or,you know, getting the flashier
thing, or whatever it is that wethink might make us happy
realizing that there's a part ofus that once didn't need all
that stuff, when life wassimpler.

(01:07:19):
Then it doesn't matter whatstate of being we are, because,
like, that part of us is alwaysthere and that part of us is
always like yeah, you know, likeI'm going to, I'm going to
scrape my knee and get back up.
Yeah, right, cause, like whathappens when you can't ride
anymore, True.
You know, you get from amiserable curmudgeon or you like

(01:07:42):
oh, I remember when I used toride and now I can't ride
anymore.
So I'm a miserable person,right.
But like God forbid, we all, wefall.
You know, in many ways that's ametaphorical statement, right,
we fall all the time we fail.

(01:08:03):
We fall, we get back up, wescrape our knees, we lose our
jobs, our people get sick.
Like life is like 80% crappyand like it's not fair to life
or to ourselves to think thatlife is always going to be that

(01:08:23):
5% of blissful happy.
So what do we do about thereality?
Give it its space, you know.
Let it, let it work itself out.

Ron (01:08:35):
And that's exactly what you wrote yeah.

Ben Ruben (01:08:40):
I mean you don't, like we can't control any of
that stuff and like, so you knowthat's.
I mean you don't like we can'tcontrol any of that stuff and
like, so you know that's, Ithink, for all those people is
like, you know, maybe youthought that your job gave
yourself worse.
But you remember when you werea little kid and you liked doing

(01:09:01):
finger painting.
You know, or like remember whenyou were in high kid and you
liked doing finger painting.
You know, or like remember whenyou were in high school and you
loved dancing.
Or before life took, beforelife moved you away from the now

(01:09:25):
and a mindful presence of likehere, look at my feet, you know
there's.
In yoga, you got child's posewhere you're just laying on your
back, playing with your feet.
Before life took kind of liketook that away from us.
There was happiness, there wasjoy, there was peace, right, and
like those, the, the, thepeople who are miserable will

(01:09:51):
unfortunately, always bemiserable until they can allow
this stuff to happen inside ofthem, like I had.
The way that it felt for mewhen my wife told me that I was
getting it, that she wanted todivorce me three weeks after I
lost my job, was like my entire,like I'm sitting in a room and

(01:10:17):
all of the whole house is onfire and burning to the ground
and here I am, I'm just likesitting there in like a
meditative position, justletting it burn.
I mean, I'm not letting it burn, it's going to burn and like

(01:10:40):
what I can do is recognize myrole in it is recognize my role
in it, and sometimes my role isI have no control, I had no
control.
You know, people have had somereally messed up lives,
childhoods and all that stuff.
Release that into the universeand chalk it up as like a I

(01:11:07):
could be mad about this thingand hold onto it.
There's a.
There's a story about a truck,a coal that's on fire.
You know, there's a guy who's,there's a monk who I don't know
if the monk is holding I thinkin the monk comes upon a guy and
the guy is holding a burninglump of coal in his hand and the
monk is like dude, why are youholding that burning lump of

(01:11:30):
coal?
And he's like well, I'm waitingfor this guy who wronged me to
come by so I can throw it at him.
I see where you're going withthis, like so we can hold onto
those things and keep burningourselves and causing ourselves
suffering, waiting to lightourselves on fire and hope the

(01:11:51):
other person catches on fire,you know, or we can be like okay
, and drop it, put it down,right, um, that's very hard.
I'm not saying that's the easything, it's not like an easy
thing to do, but like that takeswork.
But you know, after doing thatand realizing that, like things

(01:12:23):
fall apart, they break, and thenthe pieces come back together
in a different way Maybe, yeah.
And like I guess this kind ofgoes back to meditation Like you
can't beat yourself up forthings falling apart.

(01:12:43):
You have to just bring themback together as best you can
and not beat yourself up over it.

Ron (01:12:50):
I, I think that's, uh, one of many things that I just so
appreciate about, appreciateabout you is that that
recognizing that, uh, not onlywhat you've discovered in
yourself, what's been helpfulfor yourself, lessons learned,
hard knocks and all that stuffbut your willingness to share it
with somebody else, like you'resharing it with me right now,

(01:13:13):
and your willingness to listenand give me feedback and
correction too, you know, withyour opinion of what.
Maybe you should be thinkingabout this differently, and so
forth.
You know, when I described thePeace Love Moto podcast again
I'll just kind of repeat itmaybe as we kind of wrap up but

(01:13:33):
peace of mind, that's where thepeace comes from.
That we all and I used to usethe expression, maybe I still
should, but we it's the peace ofmind we seek from the seat of a
motorcycle and sometimes findfrom the seat of a motorcycle.
But what I have felt in thisconversation is the love piece
that you cared enough toarticulate well, what you think

(01:13:55):
would be helpful for me and mylisteners, what you think would
be helpful, and it's because youcare and that means a lot, that
is, that's huge.
I think there's so many peoplelike I said that and it's just
getting worse.
They're just kind of goingthrough life just absolutely,

(01:14:18):
absolutely miserable.
Some people are even killingthemselves and we, as best we
can, if we can stand out therethrough social media or in
whatever way, and stand outthere and just express, in
whatever way it looks like, thatwe care, that we do care maybe

(01:14:41):
that will be someone's lifelinethat they really were looking
for.
So I want to thank you for that, for your spirit, for the kind
of guy you are, for themindfulness Instagram account
that you have right now.
You know the mindful motorcycleand whatever you do in the

(01:15:03):
future on the mindful motorcycleand, uh, whatever you do in the
future, uh, if I could be ofhelp, I'd love to and, uh, I'd
be reaching out to you for helpon my side too, whatever happens
next with the podcast.

Ben Ruben (01:15:15):
Yeah, and thank you, and, and like, thank you for
that, and like letting me behere, right, um, just kind of
continuing to work through itall.
Right, like, this is a, this isa start for for me, um, I guess

(01:15:37):
it's always a start, right, um,but your questions help me
think differently also, right,and I love what you do.
I think it's awesome, like I've.

(01:15:59):
I listened to some of theepisodes and you have a lot of
episodes.
Yeah, you have a lot ofepisodes and I mean they're
great, you know, but you'reright, like we're all, I think,
fundamentally looking forconnection.
Yeah, yeah, you know, and so Iwant to be here, like you for

(01:16:31):
others.
Right, the care that youdescribe I care for others is
like, how about we just sit?
Brene Brown talks about it andPema Chodron, these people are
like, how about we just sit?
Brene Brown talks about it, andPema Chodron, these people are
like you have to know your owndarkness and be comfortable

(01:16:53):
sitting in the darkness.
To go sit with somebody else inthe dark.
Yeah, you know, and some peoplewalk into a room and turn the
light on.
That's like not really theanswer yeah, but like okay,

(01:17:13):
great story, if you know.
There's a guy who falls in a pit, and I first oh, this is crazy.
Actually this made me cry thefirst time.
I heard it on the West Wing.
Okay, okay.
And a guy falls in a pit andhe's looking up from the pit and

(01:17:35):
he sees, let's call it, afirefighter.
Firefighter walks by the pitand he goes hey, man, can you
help me out of here?
And firefighter goes oh, yeah,sure, yeah, totally watch out.
And he throws an uh, an axedown in the pit and he walks
away.
And then the guy goes what am Igoing to do with this axe?
And he sees a priest walk byand he goes yo, hey, priest man,

(01:17:56):
can you help me out of here?
And the priest goes yes, I can,my son.
And he rips a page, page out ofhis bible and he tosses it down
to him and the guy's like whatam I going to do with this verse
?
And then the guy sees hisfriend walk by and he goes hey,
man, like I'm down in this pit,I'm down in this hole, can you?

Ron (01:18:15):
help me get out and the guy goes, oh yeah, sure.

Ben Ruben (01:18:16):
And he jumps in and the dude's like dude, what are
we going to do?
We're both down in this pit now.
And his friend's like yeah,I've been here before, I know
how to get out.

Ron (01:18:33):
Oh, that's beautiful.

Ben Ruben (01:18:36):
That's beautiful.
I mean, that's what we do,right?
Yeah, I mean, we do it onmotorcycles.
You know who doesn't stop for?

Ron (01:18:53):
a fellow motorcyclist on the side of the road.
Exactly, I mentioned that inthe last episode that I just
published.
Yep, that's what we do.

Ben Ruben (01:19:00):
I ran out of gas once and some guy comes up to me and
he goes.
He like goes by and then turnsaround and comes back and he
goes hey man, what's up?
I'm like I think I'm out of gas.
He's like well, okay, cool,have you called somebody?
Do you need any help?
And I'm like no, I'm good.
I mean I called somebody.
He's coming, coming to get meand then he'll follow me home.
Guy's like all right, well,well, like cool man.

Ron (01:19:26):
So what, what's up?
And he's like yeah, I'll justwait with you.
Yeah, that's great, that's likewe've all been there maybe not
running out of gas we've beentalking about this whole time.
There is something special aboutthis motorcycling community
that encourages us to wave atevery the other rider that

(01:19:47):
passes by, the total stranger.
No matter what mood we may bein, we're going to give them a
wave all over if they're on theside of the road, and it's
because it's this kinship thatwe recognize that we have, and I
couldn't feel more fortunatefor that.

Ben Ruben (01:20:04):
Yeah, and like what's cool is like to be able to do
that for or with somebody else,with no expectation,
unconditional right, but that'sjust because, like we've been
there before, either in thisexact moment or like experience,

(01:20:25):
or, you know, emotionally orvulnerably or whatever it is, so
we can, we've been here before.
Let's connect.
It's like, you know, humanity,experience, like whatever.
Whatever, let's all do it andthat's, I think, the most

(01:20:49):
powerful thing that we've gotgoing for us and that's where
you and I and all these peoplethat are out there doing
motorcycly things with theseplatforms, ultimately what we're
doing, we found our purpose andour purpose is to help others

(01:21:10):
that's it.

Ron (01:21:11):
That's it, man ben.
I can't thank you enough.
I thank you for your uh, notonly willingness to communicate
with me in our initial initialconnection, but I appreciate
you're a good man and, uh,you're somebody I really want to
go go for a ride with, go to acoffee shop with, and and uh,

(01:21:33):
we'll start with a big hug andgo from there.
How about that?

Ben Ruben (01:21:36):
Sounds, sounds great, um, sounds great.
I'm going to have to, so I'mgoing to have to have you on my
podcast.
Sure, love to when I dosomething, or I ultimately would
love to, like you said, get outthere and ride, and I think
formatically it will come withsome form of pre-ride discussion

(01:22:00):
and then we can ride and nottalk because we don't have
bluetooth headsets.
Right?
And then, uh, enjoy ourpeaceful ride and then hit a
coffee shop and then see whereit goes from there, man let's,
let's do it, ben.

Ron (01:22:16):
Thanks again.
Great, so good to connect withyou and we'll be talking more
beautiful.

Ben Ruben (01:22:21):
yeah, you have a good one.

Ron (01:22:37):
I am so grateful for a brother on the bike that I would
consider Ben to be.
Now that we've gotten to knoweach other, I so look forward to
riding with him in personsomeday again, sharing that hug
and having a cup of coffee and awonderful conversation.
Just like you, I'm so proud tobe a part of this community of
motorcycle riders.
Those who really care care foreach other, and we care for
ourselves as well.
That's so very, very important,as demonstrated with

(01:22:58):
mindfulness practices andgratitude and gratitude.
Thank you so much for joiningus today.
Again, thank you, Ben.
I wish you peace.
I wish you love.

(01:23:32):
Thank you.