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August 10, 2025 25 mins

Navigating Aging Proactively: Insights from Aging Strategist Allison O'Shea

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Website: openlyaging.com

In this episode of Peaceful Life Radio, we welcome Allison O'Shea, an accomplished author, aging strategist, and senior living executive with over 20 years of experience. Allison discusses the importance of social connection, the impact of loneliness, and the need for proactive planning in one's aging journey. She introduces her concept of 'Openly Aging' and explores the four pillars to maintain control over aging: support system, living environment, supportive services, and social connection. With anecdotes from her personal experiences and professional career, Allison provides actionable insights to help individuals and families navigate the complexities of aging with intention and empowerment. Get her book 'Openly Aging: Four Pillars to Keep Control of Your Aging Journey' on Amazon, and visit her website openlyaging.com for more resources.

00:00 The Epidemic of Loneliness in Aging
00:57 Introducing Allison O'Shea
02:23 Allison's Journey into Aging Advocacy
04:28 The Concept of Openly Aging
07:10 The Four Pillars of Aging
08:30 Support Systems: Beyond the Basics
09:32 Strategizing Your Living Environment
11:34 Understanding Supportive Services
13:55 The Importance of Social Connections
17:02 When to Start Planning Your Aging Journey
18:26 Personal Stories and Insights
21:47 The Rewarding Aspects of Aging Strategy
23:00 What's Next for Openly Aging?

Visit the Peaceful Life Radio website for more information. Peaceful Life Productions LLP produces this podcast, which helps nonprofits and small businesses share their stories and expertise through accessible and cost-effective podcasts and websites. For more information, please contact us at info@peacefullifeproductions.com.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Allison O'Shea (00:00):
In 2022, the Surgeon General put out a memo,

(00:03):
that said social connection,loneliness, and isolation is one
of the worst things since anepidemic for the aging
population.
And a quick fact is in 1900there was only a hundred
thousand people over the age of85 in America.
They're predicting by 2050 thatthere's gonna be 19 million

(00:24):
people over the age of 85.
Being isolated and lonely is oneof the worst things we can do,
not only for our aging, but ourbrain.
A lot of the dementia I saw, andI'm not a doctor, so full
disclosure, but many things Isaw in my memory care
communities that dementia fromstagnation is a real thing.

(00:45):
Not engaging with people canreally affect our brain.
Social connection is a very,very important piece, and it is
proving to be more importantthan your diet and exercise.

David Lowry (00:57):
Hello everyone.
That was Allison O'Shea.
She is our guest today onPeaceful Life Radio, and she is
a really great person who worksin the aging industry.
We're gonna learn so many thingstoday.
Hey, with me today is my goodfriend Don Drew.
Don, how's it going?

Don Drew (01:12):
I'm feeling great, David, and I'm excited to
introduce this week's guest,Allison O'Shea author, aging
strategist, and speaker.
Allison possesses over 20 yearsas senior living executive and
working hands-on with seniorsand families, including roles as
executive director in varioussenior living communities and is
a trusted voice in agingadvocacy.

(01:33):
In 2022, she founded OpenlyAging LLC, launching herself as
a dedicated aging strategist tohelp individuals and families
navigate the complexities ofaging proactively.
And in March of last year, shepublished Openly Aging Four
Pillars to Keep Control of YourAging Journey, a practical 84
page guide focused on health,independence, planning, and

(01:54):
relationships.
Her mission with Openly Aging issimple, yet profound: to help
people stay in control of theiraging journey with intention and
empowerment.

Allison's book Openly Aging: Four Pillars to Keep Control of (02:02):
undefined
Your Aging Journey, is availableon Amazon, and you can find her
through her website atopenlyaging.com Allison, O'Shea,
thank you for joining us onPeaceful Life Radio.

Allison O'Shea (02:16):
Thank you so much.
I'm very excited to be here.
I appreciate it.

David Lowry (02:19):
Allison, we're so glad to have you on the podcast
today.
Thank you for being here.
It's always interesting to knowwhat drew you to this kind of
work with seniors and theirfamilies and dedicating yourself
to this industry?

Allison O'Shea (02:31):
I actually got my degree in something called
therapeutic recreation.
I spent four years learning howto help people recreate.
And of course I got out ofcollege thought I was gonna work
with children.
It was that normal thing.
You have no experience, but youhave this degree, had a hard
time finding a role, and then Istumbled, really accidentally,

(02:53):
into being an activity directorin a memory care community.
I walked into that memory carecommunity and just fell in love.
I realized, wow, it was exactlywhat I needed to be.
I didn't need to be working withchildren.
I needed to be working in theaging space.
But through that, I realizedthere was a business model,

(03:13):
senior living.
And so I very quickly grew intoan executive director of a small
memory care.
And 15 years in that industry,18 total, 15 as a director role,
and my buildings got bigger andbigger, we had independent
living, assisted living, andmemory care.
And if you can imagine 18 yearsof working with aging

(03:34):
individuals in communities, Iliterally saw thousands of
people age, not just hundreds,not just my mother, I saw a wide
variety of aging journeys,family dynamics, and crisis.
I would say for most of mycareer I fell into that bucket
where, Oh, we age, we don't doanything, and then when

(03:54):
something happens, we move intoassisted living.
And it wasn't until COVID, Istarted taking a step back and
realizing, Wow, there is so muchwe could be doing way ahead of
time to avoid higher level ofcare or to keep control of our
aging journey and not have torely on others to make decisions

(04:16):
for us.
And that's when I started OpenlyAging to change that idea and
help people get ahead of aginginstead of just waiting for
aging and then making decisions.

Don Drew (04:28):
Allison in your book, the title starts Out With Openly
Aging, and that's also the nameof your business.
What does Openly Aging mean toyou?

Allison O'Shea (04:36):
To me, it means acknowledging we're aging.
It's the elephant in the room.
That's why my logo is anelephant.
We spend so much time focused onyouth and being youthful, and
we're all aging.
I'm older now than when westarted talking a few minutes
ago, and so I think it's thisidea of taking the shame out of
aging.

Don Drew (04:56):
Let me ask you about another term you use.
You call yourself a agingstrategist.
What does that mean?

Allison O'Shea (05:02):
So I was trying to figure out this word and then
openly, and I was like, Ah, thatis it.
That is my word.
So Openly Aging was born.
I found so many people thatmoved into my communities and a
lot of the issues they had isbecause they never acknowledged
that aging was happening tothem.
They knew that their memory wasstarting to not be as sharp, but

(05:25):
they hid it out ofembarrassment.
They knew that their balancewasn't good, but they pretended
like it was so they tried tohide it.
That's the worst thing we can doas we age.
If we are struggling with agingrelated issues the minute we
have a struggle we should be atthe doctor.
We should be talking to ourfamily.
We should be puttinginterventions in place.

(05:45):
Openly Aging to me means, Let'sdo this.
We can't stop it, so let's doit, but keep control of it.

Don Drew (05:54):
Let me ask you about another term you use.
You call yourself a agingstrategist.
What does that mean?

Allison O'Shea (05:59):
In the aging industry there's a lot of
different types of support andone of them is called, a
geriatric care manager.
They are a very needed resourcein our aging world.
A geriatric care manager areboots on the ground for people
who are aging, helping you withdoctor's appointments.
They may fill pillboxs.
It's a perfect role that peoplewould hire out if you don't have

(06:21):
a robust support system and youneeded somebody to support you.
When I first started OpenlyAging, naturally the aging
industry wanted to lump me intothat category and, I realized
very quickly after the firstyear of Openly Aging that's not
what I really wanted to do.
My ultimate goal is to get aheadof aging.
So when I use the termstrategist, I sit with

(06:43):
independent aging individualsand we talk through their four
pillars, the basis of my book.
We play out, If this happens,what would you want?
Or is this living environmentgonna work for you as you age?
So we strategize.
We're not making any bigdecisions, we're just saying.
What services could you affordin the future?
What services can't you affordin the future so you can have a

(07:06):
strategic outlook on your agingjourney.

David Lowry (07:10):
Allison, I want to know more about these four
pillars of aging.
Can you introduce us and lightlyoverview them and then we'll go
a little more in depth.

Allison O'Shea (07:17):
When I was in senior living, I witnessed a lot
of crisis.
And when I sat down I realizedthat every crisis I encountered
fell into one of these pillars.
That pillar for that person wasbroken.
It didn't work anymore, or itwas damaged.
So the first pillar is supportsystem.
You have to know who yoursupport system is as you age.

(07:38):
Where do they live?
What does it look like?
Do they know?
Number two is your livingenvironment.
You have to be strategic aboutwhere you're living.
Does it make sense long term?
It may work for now, but will itwork later?
Number three is your supportiveservices.
This is the education piece ofthe pillars.
Do you know how your moneyrelates to services in the

(07:59):
future?
Do you know what you can andcan't afford?
You should know how businessmodels work way before you need
them.
So when a crisis comes, it's amore organized, thoughtful,
intentional decision.
And number four is socialconnection.
We can be independent and livein our home that we've lived in
for 40 years till the day wepass away.
But if we're doing it lonely andsitting in a chair and no one's

(08:21):
visiting us, that's not thequality of life that I want.
And so being intentional aboutsocial connection.

Don Drew (08:27):
So the first pillar is having a strong support system.
What are some of the commonmisconceptions about who should
be in that system?

Allison O'Shea (08:34):
A lot of times when I say support system,
people automatically go to, Ohmy gosh, you're talking about,
the people that are gonna showerme, toilet me, all those like
doom and gloom things.
And that's not what I'mreferring to.
I'm referring to when thatmoment in time comes, if you are
not feeling well and don't feelsafe driving to the doctor's
office, you know who could bethat person that could help

(08:55):
support you in that.
Who is that person if you dohave an emergency?
We all have emergencies nomatter what age we're at, but
they do intensify as we getolder.
Who is those people that youcall on.
It's surrounding yourself withpeople that know that their role
is to be there to support you.
You're gonna do everything youcan to keep yourself

(09:15):
independent, but it's being moreintentional that they know their
role.
You know what their role is andyou've had conversations and it
works for everybody and you canhave open and honest
conversations about your agingjourney with these people.
That's what I consider a supportsystem.

David Lowry (09:32):
So let's look into this next area of our living
environment and that kind ofsupportive situation.
Tell us what we need to knowabout that.

Allison O'Shea (09:40):
This is one of the areas I feel like is most
misunderstood.
We buy this family home and itis a sense of pride to stay in
this family home.
I'm gonna age at home.
I mean, you hear that all thetime.
I'm gonna age at home.
I'm not going to a community.
Well, does that home that youraised your children in make
sense for an active, engaged,independent, 70-year-old who is

(10:05):
trying to live their best life?
And if you can't drive, doesthat living environment support
or a hindrance to your socialconnection?
How big is the home?
Are you using a thousand squarefeet of a 3,500 square foot
home?
People always say, Oh, well Idon't have a mortgage.
Well, how much are you paying toupkeep this large house you're

(10:27):
determined to stay in?
People have this misconceptionthat, Oh, we move out of our
home, we go to senior living.
And that is the most absurdthing.
There are so many other optionswhen it comes to living
environment.
It does not mean going to seniorliving.
It just means maybe downsizing.
A condo, a duplex, a patio home.

(10:48):
Do you want social connectioneasily accessible to you.
Are we setting ourselves up forsuccess in our living
environment, or is that gonna bethe reason we're unsuccessful
because of our livingenvironment?
I wanna make sure peopleunderstand I'm not telling you
to run out and do anythingtoday.
I want you to be thoughtful.
And if you look around in yourcurrent living situation and
picture yourself at 85 yearsold, maybe not driving as much,

(11:12):
does the current situationyou're in support, social
connection and beingindependent, or does it actually
do the opposite?
And then the last thing is ifyou do ever need supportive
services, care in your home,does this house allow you to
afford it or is it holding yourmoney and you're not able to

(11:32):
afford the care you may need?

Don Drew (11:34):
Allison, talk to us a little bit more about the third
pillar supportive services?
What all is included in that?
I would imagine that's probablya pretty expansive area.

Allison O'Shea (11:42):
So why this is one of my pillars is I also
found that when a crisisoccurred, it was the first time
people actually did any researchor got educated on services that
would help them through thecrisis.
They didn't know how much thingscost.
They didn't know how to usethem, how to ask for the right

(12:02):
services.
And I'll give a perfect example.
Most people do not know thedifference between home health
and home care.
One is covered by insurance andone is private pay.
Just that little example, if youwere to dive deeper into it, is
home care can be up to$50 anhour, depending on where you

(12:25):
live, for caregivers in yourhome, that kind of thing, but
home health is therapy, physicaltherapy, occupational therapy,
and it's covered by insurance.
But there's no care involved.
So right away somebody has acrisis and they start calling
companies and they are totallyconfused.
They have this new service, theyhave unmet expectations because

(12:46):
they didn't understand theservice.
They thought, Oh, home healthcovered by insurance.
They're gonna come and help givemom a shower.
And home health comes in andsays, No, we don't do anything
like that.
So when I say supportiveservices, getting yourself
educated, every decision youmake as you're being strategic
with your aging, should bring upa new educational option.

(13:07):
If your home makes sense foryou, and as your strategist, I'm
like, Yeah, you got a prettygood setup here, you know that
there may be a time where homecare may be needed.
I hope it never is, but yougotta be aware that it could be
because you plan on stayinghome.
So as your strategist, we wouldsit down and I would educate you
on, All right, let's look athome care.

(13:29):
How do you activate home care?
How is it paid for?
What can you expect?
What can they do, what theycan't do?
So you giving yourself highlevel educations on potential
services that may enter youruniverse as you age.
So when the time comes, you'reprepared.
You already know what you canafford, how the services work.

(13:49):
That is an example of thatsupportive services pillar and
how it can be very unique toeach individual person.

David Lowry (13:55):
Allison, you talk about the importance of social
connections and that's somethingoften overlooked by seniors.
We just assume our group offriends will always be there and
things are going to go on likethat forever, but they change,
don't they?
Talk to us about that.

Allison O'Shea (14:10):
Back in 2022, the Surgeon General put out a
memo, that said socialconnection, loneliness, and
isolation is one of the worstthings since an epidemic for the
aging population.
And a quick fact is in 1900there was only a hundred
thousand people over the age of85 in America.

(14:31):
They're predicting by 2050 thatthere's gonna be 19 million
people over the age of 85.
So 85 plus is actually thefastest growing age group to
date.
The likelihood of people livingto be 85 is the highest it's
ever been.
But 60% of people over the ageof 85 do need some sort of
support.

(14:52):
And a lot of times that supportcan be helped or managed with a
great social connection.
And that's how you stayindependent.
Being isolated and lonely is oneof the worst things we can do,
not only for our aging, but ourbrain.
A lot of the dementia I saw, andI'm not a doctor, so full
disclosure, but many things Isaw in my memory care

(15:12):
communities that dementia fromstagnation is a real thing.
Not engaging with people canreally affect our brain.
Social connection is a very,very important piece, and it is
proving to be more importantthan your diet and exercise.
Even introverts, needconnection.
And people always say, well, I'man introvert.

(15:33):
So what happens is we age, wedoing great.
We're probably really involvedin our church.
Maybe we have family local, sowe're really involved.
But all of a sudden, if you lookaround our world gets smaller
and maybe we're not comfortablegetting out as much, or we're
starting to have health issues,we have completely isolated
ourselves, and that is notgreat.
That's not conducive to stayingindependent.

(15:54):
I got my degree in therapeuticrecreation, so I know how to
help people recreate.
And there's two types ofrecreators.
We have purposeful recreators.
They love a volunteer.
They like to go, know what thejob is, but it's social, but
know what their role is.
These are the ones in charge ofthe meal trains and they're
always vice president of everywomen's club, men's club.

(16:14):
But there's others that aresocial creators and they love to
hang out.
They love a party.
They love bingo.
And if you are a socialrecreator, Senior Centers are
great.
Knowing where you fall in howyou recreate helps you be
strategic with your recreationas you age.
So part of how all these pillarsconnect to each other is

(16:35):
realizing the living environmentand making sure the social
connection is a big piece ofthat decision.
How are we getting our socialconnection?
So there's many different ways,but being mindful and being
aware that, Okay, if I continueto age in my current situation,
does this support or hinder mysocial connection?

Don Drew (16:55):
You know Allison on Peaceful Life Radio we have had
a lot of guests talk aboutindividual pieces of things that
you've been discussing.
So let me ask you this.
In terms of aging, when shouldwe start getting serious about
planning or having a strategy aswe age?
When should we start thinkingabout that?

Allison O'Shea (17:12):
When I started Openly Aging, that was a
struggle for me because I wasonly being called by adult
children because they were likein a crisis with mom.
And I really wanted to speak tothe aging person.
That was my ultimate goal.
But when you're healthy andindependent, you don't think you
need a coach or a consultant.
But I truly feel the mostsuccessful Super Ages are really

(17:32):
thinking about this uponretirement.
So you retire, maybe give it afew years.
I always say the sweet spot isbetween 70 and 80 healthy.
If you start having healthissues, that's when you
definitely need to talk to astrategist.
If you're starting to haveconcerns about any kind of aging
issue, that should right awayyou should be calling.

(17:53):
But if you're healthy and activeand doing well, 75 is always
kind of a good middle ground.
You've been retired for a fewyears.
Your kids are probably settledwhere they're gonna be for a
while.
You got grandkids, you wannastay independent.
My ideal person that would readmy book and really be strategic
about their aging journey ispost-retirement.

(18:15):
When you're healthy andindependent, and you have to
have a mindset of not onlygrowth, but a mindset of, I'm
doing this and I wanna do itright, and I wanna be thoughtful
and strategic about it.

David Lowry (18:26):
Allison, can you share a story or two that's
profoundly impacted yourunderstanding about the aging
process?

Allison O'Shea (18:32):
Yes.
So my grandmother, Helen Miller,she was a spitfire seven kids.
Went back to school after herkids went to college, became a
teacher.
She was a principal.
All of her children wereeverywhere.
I was here in North Carolina andshe moved here and it was a big
to do with all of her children.
Well, my grandmother moved intoan apartment.
And at that time I was knee deepin the Kool-Aid of senior

(18:53):
living, and I would say, comeon, grandma, like you're in this
apartment.
She was 89 88 working at Kohl'sacross the street and it was a
transient apartment.
You know, people moved in andout.
I live in the triangle in NorthCarolina, one of the biggest
places, and she, No, I am sohappy.
I love my apartment.
She worked at Kohl's.
They would put her on thenighttime and she would never

(19:14):
complain and she livedsuccessfully and happily in that
apartment until she was 91.
She unfortunately got cancer.
She decided not to treat it.
It was pretty aggressive.
And three months, she passedaway.
But in that apartment, I wastrying to get her to go to
independent living.
But she was a very purposefulrecreator.
Number one, she needed to work.

(19:34):
She loved that.
She looked at senior living.
She didn't wanna be around allthe old people.
But it really was a pivotalmoment for me because she did it
her way, but she did it in sucha powerful, impactful, healthy
way.
And we would talk about agingissues.
She didn't hide away from agingissues.
She didn't pretend she wasn'taging, but she took care of
herself.
She cared about being healthy.
And then from the other side, Ihave somebody else in my life

(19:58):
who the biggest extrovert youwould ever know in your life.
Never met a stranger.
Would just talk to anyone.
When I first met this person, itwas almost embarrassing.
You'd go somewhere and they werejust talking to everyone.
Well, unfortunately, theirspouse never wanted, still
doesn't want to leave the familyhome.
They've been in there, raisedtheir boys there.

(20:19):
Well, this person now sits on acouch, watching the news all
day, and the only socialengagement they receive is when
other people come to them.
And I have watched this persondeteriorate mentally.
Now diagnosed with milddementia.
And I know it's absolutely fromlack of using a very big piece

(20:41):
of who they are.
They're healthy physically,they're fine.
They're happy.
Everything's fine.
But I am just witnessing that,saying, Wow, you know, this
person would've really thrivedin more of a social environment
when they were 75.
Easily would live to a hundred,healthy and independent and
totally happy.

(21:02):
There's no right or wrong answeron how we age, but I know how I
wanna age and I wanna live to ahundred.
And I think there's many peopleout there who also wanna do it
in the right way.
And there's a big differencebetween lifespan and health
span.
I could live to a hundred, butif I am sitting on a couch
watching the news and my brainis rotting, or could I be out

(21:24):
engaging with people and justhave my calendar full and
walking and living life?
That's the way I wanna age.
So, those would be two examplesof how I've seen it in my own
life.
And then forget the thousands ofexamples I have from all the
other people I've seen.

Don Drew (21:42):
You've chosen this career of Openly Aging and it
sounds fascinating to me.
What do you think is one of themost rewarding aspects of your
work as an aging strategist

Allison O'Shea (21:51):
Changing people's idea on aging.
Like we've generationally justOkay, people age and they just
age.
There was never like aforethought.
The adult children would belike, oh yeah, she's been
struggling for a long time.
We just didn't know how to sayanything to her.
They're sneaking around talkingabout mom behind her back.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh.
How undignified! So when I thinkabout an aging strategist, I

(22:16):
think it's bringing a new way tothink about aging to people as
they're entering into a newchapter in life and saying, Hey,
we don't have to accept thenorms we've always accepted.
And that's why I love what I do,and feel it's so important.
I feel like it's kind of a gamechanger in the culture of

(22:38):
changing.
I wanna be a change agent in howwe talk about it.

David Lowry (22:41):
Allison, this has been a great program.
I think everybody needs thisbook on Openly Aging.
It's a resource everybody needs.
I'm for sure going to study itbecause I'm close to retirement
age.
I'm not at the magic age youtalked about just yet, but,
let's just say I'm standing onthe hill running down towards
that age.
What's next for you?

Allison O'Shea (23:01):
Thank you for asking that.
It's been an interesting journeywith Openly Aging.
I do newsletters.
I'm on TikTok, YouTube,Instagram, Facebook.
Everything is under OpenlyAging.
The more people that I can givetidbits to and educate through
social media is reallyfulfilling to me.
And I think it's the first stepin changing how we look at

(23:23):
aging.
So I would love the first set ofactions for anyone interested in
learning more is to follow me.
And then of course, I am aconsultant.
I am a strategist.
I do have private clients.
And if you're interested inthat, go to my website, you can
see my services.
I do a four session package thatis really helpful to get

(23:43):
somebody on their way at thebeginning of their aging journey
to understand what they'relooking at.
So follow me and just keeplooking out for Openly Aging
because I think there's more,bigger and better things coming.

Don Drew (23:54):
Thanks to Allison O'Shea and her work, it's
possible to see how you canreframe aging from something
that happens to you.
To seeing aging as a journey youcan proactively manage.
Her mission with openly Aging issimple, yet profound: to help
people stay in control of theiraging journey with intention and
empowerment.
Allison's book Openly Aging FourPillars to Keep Control of Your

(24:15):
Aging Journey, is available onAmazon, and you can find her
through her website atopenlyaging.com.
Allison, O'Shea thank you forjoining us on Peaceful Life
Radio.
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