June 11, 2025 • 17 mins
Hi Planners!
In today’s episode, I’m diving into the world of networking—but not the stiff, awkward kind that makes you want to turn the car around in the parking lot. This is all about meaningful, energizing, and actually enjoyable connections.
I’m sharing how one last-minute decision to show up at a networking event led to a Martha Stewart feature and a dream client—and how shifting my mindset around networking transformed my business (and my attitude). You’ll hear about common mistakes planners make when networking, the power of preparation and follow-up, and how generosity and curiosity can make you unforgettable in the best way.
Plus, I’m sharing my go-to formula for every event, practical to-do’s for your next industry meetup, and a personal challenge to help you network with more intention and joy.
What You’ll Learn:
- Why networking isn’t optional in the wedding industry—and how to make it feel less transactional
- The biggest networking mistakes (and how to avoid them)
- My simple game plan for showing up with purpose
- How to shift your mindset from “What can I get?” to “How can I give?”
Happy Planning!
xo, Heather
Want to take your coordination game to the next level? The full Mastering Management Workshop Template Bundle is now available at https://www.plannerlifeacademy.com.
Use code PODCAST for $20 off the complete bundle, which includes everything from initial email templates to vendor follow-up guides.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Planner Life Academy
(00:01):
Hi planners, I'm so glad you're here. Today I wanna talk about networking. I wanna have an honest conversation about networking, but not the stiff formal kind that you might think about. We're gonna explore why networking really matters specifically for wedding pros. Why some of the old advice like you should hand out your business cards and you should go to everything doesn't necessarily work. And how to shift your mindset to create meaningful, energizing connections. Because here's the truth. Networking isn't just a task on your to-do list. It's one of the most powerful, joyful, long-term strategies that you can build into your business. So let's dive in.
The Planner Life Podcast, your go to resource for wedding planner insights, expertise, and stories tailored just for you. I’m your host, Heather Hoesch Olsen, an experienced wedding planner, decade long educator, and your wedding planning best friend. Join me each week for real talk, real planners, and real experts. For conversations, hot topics, and advice to support you in your wedding planning journey.
Why does networking really matter? Let's get real. In this industry, clients are, hopefully, one-time clients. So where does our steady stream of business come from? It comes from referrals, it comes from word of mouth, and it comes from building a great reputation. So the photographer, the florist, the venue manager who love working with you, they become part of your sales team, even when you're not in the room. So that's why networking isn't optional. But here's the part that often gets missed. Networking is not about collecting people. It's about creating a network of trust. It's not just about collecting business cards. For people who you know, it's really getting to know people, building relationships and building trust. People work with the people they like, they trust, and they respect. Not just people who show up once and push their card in their face.
There was a season in my career where I dreaded networking events. I was busy and I wanted to work in my business and not have to work on my business and put any energy into networking. I remember so vividly, I was sitting in my car and I texted a friend. If you say the word, we can go to dinner instead of going to this event. I was not so secretly hoping she would jump at the offer, but instead she said, come on, we're already here. Let's make the most of it. And who knows, it might even be fun.
Funny enough, I don't really remember the event itself, but something happened where one vendor friend introduced me to another vendor friend. She was engaged. She was planning her own wedding and looking for someone to do coordination that was really good. I grinned and said confidently, I'd be happy to help. Fast forward a few days, she booked me and we got to planning. She really took the reins on the planning and design and details while I made sure the logistics, timing, and the guest experience was dialed. That was my first and one and only feature in Martha Stewart Weddings. And that feature got me one of my very biggest and favorite clients to date. So even if you're sitting in the parking lot wanting to drive away, go, get in there. You never know what might come from just one event.
That conversation at that event really changed my trajectory of my business and massively boosted my confidence, but it also shifted the way I thought about networking. So let's talk about where we go wrong. Where do we go wrong with networking? Let's be honest, we've all had that super awkward moment at a networking event. You walk in, maybe you don't know anyone, and you feel like you have to perform.
You look around and think, who should I talk to? What should I say? How do I make this worth it? And here's where people often slip up, not because they're bad or selfish, often because they're nervous, unsure, or trying too hard to get something out of an interaction. Here are some of the common mistakes I see.
Turning it into a transaction. A conversation shouldn't be a transaction. So people that kind of jump straight to, you know, how can I get on your vendor list? Or if you wouldn't mind just sending me referrals or can I pick your brain? Before you really built any sort of connection or trust or even understanding on who each other are.
The other mistake is making it all about business. When every connection is just about work or what you need you often really miss the chance to connect with people as people. Some of the best industry relationships I've built started by talking about non-work things, travel, hobbies, family, stress, coping, trauma, even just laughing over a shared moment at an event.
Another mistake is not preparing. Walking in blind without doing your homework is not a good idea. If you know who's going to be at the event, or you can often make some assumptions of who might be at the event, take 10 minutes to look them up, check out what they've been working on, or remind yourself if you've met them before. This makes your conversation way more natural and engaging and not so formal, and especially if you're nervous, you can kind of hide it if you're prepared. And I don't know about you, but for me, if I've done a little bit of homework, I can walk into a scenario a lot more confident, because I'm not just like hoping I figure out what to say. Often I will not know what to say. So I prefer coming a little more prepared.
And another mistake is dropping the ball on the follow-up. Meeting someone once isn't enough. It's the thoughtful DM, the follow-up invite to coffee, or even just a kind comment later that turns a moment of meeting into a relationship. Be thoughtful about that follow-up and be consistent.
So let's reframe it a bit. Instead of thinking, how can I get something here? Let's ask, how can I leave this interaction better than I found it? That might mean making someone feel welcome, sharing a compliment, or offering a helpful connection. Especially as planners, we have a lot of opportunity to make connections between other planners, introducing them to vendors, other vendors introducing to each other.
I think that's one of the gifts we have as our role of planners is really connecting people. Again, not just handing out our card.
So let's rethink our entire networking approach. Here's what I wish someone would have told me years ago. Play the long game. Play the long game. Not every introduction leads to an immediate booking. That's okay.
Think of your networking as planting seeds that may sprout months, seasons, or years later. Focus on connection, not collection. I love that sentence. Focus on connection, not collection. You don't need to work the room. You need real conversations and real connections.
I'll let you in on the game I play at these events to make them more fun, but there's some strategy behind it too.
At every single event that I go to in this industry, I challenge myself to meet one new person, reconnect with one existing friend, and introduce two people who should know each other. This very simple formula makes networking feel lighter and more purposeful and honestly way more fun. It allows me to lead with generosity.
And the people who stand out are the ones who give before they ask. Recommend others, share knowledge, celebrate wins publicly. I love when someone walks up to me at an event, maybe I know the person I'm talking to, and they don't know the person walking towards us. When that person gets there, not only am I gonna say hi, give them a big hug, I'm gonna say to the person I was standing with, hey, did you see so-and-so's wedding at Da-da-da, it was gorgeous. Start conversations with generosity.
Now, there are too many examples to even share of how shifting my focus at networking events has made this more enjoyable, made me probably so much better to be around at this stuff, because I used to go in so negative. I didn't want to be there. It was honestly probably pretty obvious. But ever since I've shifted this, it's really allowed me to actually enjoy being there. And I have an incredible network of referrals, planners, and friends.
Let’s wrap up with some practical to-do's. One, do your research. Who's gonna be there? What are they working on? You're gonna prep a few thoughtful questions. Two, you're gonna share that you're going. Okay, I love to take a photo right before I leave for an event so that I am posting in my stories what I'm wearing and that way people who are going, I may not know the guest list. I may not have an idea of who's going to be there. So that way, if people see the story, they know what I'm wearing and they can quickly pick me out of a crowd if they want to come over and say hi. So I found that to be really nice for people who I've never met in person before. They feel more comfortable coming up because they know for sure it's me because they saw me in my outfit ahead.
(00:22):
Okay, number three, be warm and friendly. Be warm and friendly. Oh my gosh. I feel like I shouldn't have to say that, but I have been in so many rooms where the nerves are getting the best of people. And so the RBF, resting bitch face, is strong. And that's not helping anyone. So even if it's not how you're feeling, try to project really warm and inviting and friendly, how you wish people would be to you. Don't wait for someone to do that to you. Be that way everywhere in that room and it really helps attract the right people. It allows them to let their guards down and for you to connect more quickly.
Be curious, not salesy. Do not go into what can they do for you. Be curious. How did you get started? Or, what are you most excited about this year? And I'm just on the side note. Please do not ask people how many weddings they have or if they're busy enough this year. I think that's okay to ask friends or more in a one-on-one setting, but I think it can be really tacky in a larger setting and especially if you're talking to someone you don't know well.
For most of us, that's a really sensitive topic if we feel like we have enough or if we don't. And so let's not operate in a place of scarcity. I think it's an innocent question, but it can come across really the wrong way. So please don't do that. Let's not do that. Let's all stop doing that.
Okay. You're also going to get your content and then you're going to put your phone away. Nothing bugs me more and kills the vibe of connecting with people if they're on their phone the whole time. I get it. Maybe you're checking on your kids, you're answering a quick email, but do your best to be present. I think that really goes hand in hand with like being warm and inviting.
Final secret I'm gonna share. I want you to take notes and follow up.
A friend taught me this years ago, if you have a great conversation or you meet someone new and you don't want to forget what you just talked about, quickly take a couple of notes on your phone. I would even pop into the restroom and then take a couple notes so that no one could see me on my phone. It wasn't distracting from conversations. Or you can talk to text as you're driving home. So you're just kind of brain dumping who you talked to, what you talked about. And that way you have reference points for the next time you DM or text or connect in person. Paying attention and really making sure it sticks is such a key way to stand out from the crowd, especially if you're wanting to work with someone. Send a quick DM, email after the event, and mention something specific. I promise that's going to help with building long lasting connections.
But most importantly, iIf you only take away one thing from this conversation, please let it be that you should help without expectation. Recommend someone, shout them out, send a resource and do it just because. I'd like to think that I've become pretty well known for being a connector, a connector of friends, resources and support. I'm quick to make introductions and I love to help provide information or resources. Does that directly translate into more business?
No, of course not. But it continues to allow me to build strong connections, good friends, and my reputation as an industry leader. And who do people refer? People they like, people they trust, and people they respect. So here's my challenge for you this week. Do one thing to help another vendor, planner, or industry pro without expecting anything in return. It can be as small as a compliment or as big as a referral.
Remember, networking isn't about transactions. It's about connection, trust, and community. And when you approach it that way, you'll find not just business growth, but genuine joy. Until next time, happy planning!
Thanks so much for tuning into the Planner Life Podcast. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Then head over to plannerlifeacademy.com for show notes, additional resources, discount codes, and so much more. To join the conversation or submit questions for an upcoming episode, be sure to follow @plannerlifepodcast and @plannerlifeacdemy on Instagram. Until next week, happy planning!
Planner Life Academy
(00:01):
Hi planners, I'm so glad you're here. Today I wanna talk about networking. I wanna have an honest conversation about networking, but not the stiff formal kind that you might think about. We're gonna explore why networking really matters specifically for wedding pros. Why some of the old advice like you should hand out your business cards and you should go to everything doesn't necessarily work. And how to shift your mindset to create meaningful, energizing connections. Because here's the truth. Networking isn't just a task on your to-do list. It's one of the most powerful, joyful, long-term strategies that you can build into your business. So let's dive in.
The Planner Life Podcast, your go to resource for wedding planner insights, expertise, and stories tailored just for you. I’m your host, Heather Hoesch Olsen, an experienced wedding planner, decade long educator, and your wedding planning best friend. Join me each week for real talk, real planners, and real experts. For conversations, hot topics, and advice to support you in your wedding planning journey.
Why does networking really matter? Let's get real. In this industry, clients are, hopefully, one-time clients. So where does our steady stream of business come from? It comes from referrals, it comes from word of mouth, and it comes from building a great reputation. So the photographer, the florist, the venue manager who love working with you, they become part of your sales team, even when you're not in the room. So that's why networking isn't optional. But here's the part that often gets missed. Networking is not about collecting people. It's about creating a network of trust. It's not just about collecting business cards. For people who you know, it's really getting to know people, building relationships and building trust. People work with the people they like, they trust, and they respect. Not just people who show up once and push their card in their face.
There was a season in my career where I dreaded networking events. I was busy and I wanted to work in my business and not have to work on my business and put any energy into networking. I remember so vividly, I was sitting in my car and I texted a friend. If you say the word, we can go to dinner instead of going to this event. I was not so secretly hoping she would jump at the offer, but instead she said, come on, we're already here. Let's make the most of it. And who knows, it might even be fun.
Funny enough, I don't really remember the event itself, but something happened where one vendor friend introduced me to another vendor friend. She was engaged. She was planning her own wedding and looking for someone to do coordination that was really good. I grinned and said confidently, I'd be happy to help. Fast forward a few days, she booked me and we got to planning. She really took the reins on the planning and design and details while I made sure the logistics, timing, and the guest experience was dialed. That was my first and one and only feature in Martha Stewart Weddings. And that feature got me one of my very biggest and favorite clients to date. So even if you're sitting in the parking lot wanting to drive away, go, get in there. You never know what might come from just one event.
That conversation at that event really changed my trajectory of my business and massively boosted my confidence, but it also shifted the way I thought about networking. So let's talk about where we go wrong. Where do we go wrong with networking? Let's be honest, we've all had that super awkward moment at a networking event. You walk in, maybe you don't know anyone, and you feel like you have to perform.
You look around and think, who should I talk to? What should I say? How do I make this worth it? And here's where people often slip up, not because they're bad or selfish, often because they're nervous, unsure, or trying too hard to get something out of an interaction. Here are some of the common mistakes I see.
Turning it into a transaction. A conversation shouldn't be a transaction. So people that kind of jump straight to, you know, how can I get on your vendor list? Or if you wouldn't mind just sending me referrals or can I pick your brain? Before you really built any sort of connection or trust or even understanding on who each other are.
The other mistake is making it all about business. When every connection is just about work or what you need you often really miss the chance to connect with people as people. Some of the best industry relationships I've built started by talking about non-work things, travel, hobbies, family, stress, coping, trauma, even just laughing over a shared moment at an event.
Another mistake is not preparing. Walking in blind without doing your homework is not a good idea. If you know who's going to be at the event, or you can often make some assumptions of who might be at the event, take 10 minutes to look them up, check out what they've been working on, or remind yourself if you've met them before. This makes your conversation way more natural and engaging and not so formal, and especially if you're nervous, you can kind of hide it if you're prepared. And I don't know about you, but for me, if I've done a little bit of homework, I can walk into a scenario a lot more confident, because I'm not just like hoping I figure out what to say. Often I will not know what to say. So I prefer coming a little more prepared.
And another mistake is dropping the ball on the follow-up. Meeting someone once isn't enough. It's the thoughtful DM, the follow-up invite to coffee, or even just a kind comment later that turns a moment of meeting into a relationship. Be thoughtful about that follow-up and be consistent.
So let's reframe it a bit. Instead of thinking, how can I get something here? Let's ask, how can I leave this interaction better than I found it? That might mean making someone feel welcome, sharing a compliment, or offering a helpful connection. Especially as planners, we have a lot of opportunity to make connections between other planners, introducing them to vendors, other vendors introducing to each other.
I think that's one of the gifts we have as our role of planners is really connecting people. Again, not just handing out our card.
So let's rethink our entire networking approach. Here's what I wish someone would have told me years ago. Play the long game. Play the long game. Not every introduction leads to an immediate booking. That's okay.
Think of your networking as planting seeds that may sprout months, seasons, or years later. Focus on connection, not collection. I love that sentence. Focus on connection, not collection. You don't need to work the room. You need real conversations and real connections.
I'll let you in on the game I play at these events to make them more fun, but there's some strategy behind it too.
At every single event that I go to in this industry, I challenge myself to meet one new person, reconnect with one existing friend, and introduce two people who should know each other. This very simple formula makes networking feel lighter and more purposeful and honestly way more fun. It allows me to lead with generosity.
And the people who stand out are the ones who give before they ask. Recommend others, share knowledge, celebrate wins publicly. I love when someone walks up to me at an event, maybe I know the person I'm talking to, and they don't know the person walking towards us. When that person gets there, not only am I gonna say hi, give them a big hug, I'm gonna say to the person I was standing with, hey, did you see so-and-so's wedding at Da-da-da, it was gorgeous. Start conversations with generosity.
Now, there are too many examples to even share of how shifting my focus at networking events has made this more enjoyable, made me probably so much better to be around at this stuff, because I used to go in so negative. I didn't want to be there. It was honestly probably pretty obvious. But ever since I've shifted this, it's really allowed me to actually enjoy being there. And I have an incredible network of referrals, planners, and friends.
Let’s wrap up with some practical to-do's. One, do your research. Who's gonna be there? What are they working on? You're gonna prep a few thoughtful questions. Two, you're gonna share that you're going. Okay, I love to take a photo right before I leave for an event so that I am posting in my stories what I'm wearing and that way people who are going, I may not know the guest list. I may not have an idea of who's going to be there. So that way, if people see the story, they know what I'm wearing and they can quickly pick me out of a crowd if they want to come over and say hi. So I found that to be really nice for people who I've never met in person before. They feel more comfortable coming up because they know for sure it's me because they saw me in my outfit ahead.
(00:22):
Okay, number three, be warm and friendly. Be warm and friendly. Oh my gosh. I feel like I shouldn't have to say that, but I have been in so many rooms where the nerves are getting the best of people. And so the RBF, resting bitch face, is strong. And that's not helping anyone. So even if it's not how you're feeling, try to project really warm and inviting and friendly, how you wish people would be to you. Don't wait for someone to do that to you. Be that way everywhere in that room and it really helps attract the right people. It allows them to let their guards down and for you to connect more quickly.
Be curious, not salesy. Do not go into what can they do for you. Be curious. How did you get started? Or, what are you most excited about this year? And I'm just on the side note. Please do not ask people how many weddings they have or if they're busy enough this year. I think that's okay to ask friends or more in a one-on-one setting, but I think it can be really tacky in a larger setting and especially if you're talking to someone you don't know well.
For most of us, that's a really sensitive topic if we feel like we have enough or if we don't. And so let's not operate in a place of scarcity. I think it's an innocent question, but it can come across really the wrong way. So please don't do that. Let's not do that. Let's all stop doing that.
Okay. You're also going to get your content and then you're going to put your phone away. Nothing bugs me more and kills the vibe of connecting with people if they're on their phone the whole time. I get it. Maybe you're checking on your kids, you're answering a quick email, but do your best to be present. I think that really goes hand in hand with like being warm and inviting.
Final secret I'm gonna share. I want you to take notes and follow up.
A friend taught me this years ago, if you have a great conversation or you meet someone new and you don't want to forget what you just talked about, quickly take a couple of notes on your phone. I would even pop into the restroom and then take a couple notes so that no one could see me on my phone. It wasn't distracting from conversations. Or you can talk to text as you're driving home. So you're just kind of brain dumping who you talked to, what you talked about. And that way you have reference points for the next time you DM or text or connect in person. Paying attention and really making sure it sticks is such a key way to stand out from the crowd, especially if you're wanting to work with someone. Send a quick DM, email after the event, and mention something specific. I promise that's going to help with building long lasting connections.
But most importantly, iIf you only take away one thing from this conversation, please let it be that you should help without expectation. Recommend someone, shout them out, send a resource and do it just because. I'd like to think that I've become pretty well known for being a connector, a connector of friends, resources and support. I'm quick to make introductions and I love to help provide information or resources. Does that directly translate into more business?
No, of course not. But it continues to allow me to build strong connections, good friends, and my reputation as an industry leader. And who do people refer? People they like, people they trust, and people they respect. So here's my challenge for you this week. Do one thing to help another vendor, planner, or industry pro without expecting anything in return. It can be as small as a compliment or as big as a referral.
Remember, networking isn't about transactions. It's about connection, trust, and community. And when you approach it that way, you'll find not just business growth, but genuine joy. Until next time, happy planning!
Thanks so much for tuning into the Planner Life Podcast. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Then head over to plannerlifeacademy.com for show notes, additional resources, discount codes, and so much more. To join the conversation or submit questions for an upcoming episode, be sure to follow @plannerlifepodcast and @plannerlifeacdemy on Instagram. Until next week, happy planning!
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com