July 30, 2025 • 49 mins
In this episode I wanted to expand a little bit on my saying, "Be fucking nice!" and discuss the improtance of picking up your friends when they are down without discussing it with the world.
My bad, I think I said Ep 13. Guys, this is actually episode 14! my bad, yall ❤️
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Wasn't wasn't that MGK? Yeah, I just, I could spend this
whole episode talking about how much I love MGK, but we won't.
But I just I just love the vibe of that Miss Sunshine video and
just chilling with a couple friends driving, you know,
(00:26):
riding on little mini cars. Like we should all strive to
have friends like that. They're just like, Hey, you want
to be my music video and just ride around in little cars.
Like I fucking love the vibe. I love the vibe.
He looks like he's just having an awesome ass time with his
friends. And I think those are his same
homies from like day one, you know?
(00:46):
So I love that. Like I absolutely respect the
fuck out of that. That's awesome.
If you can hear coughing in the background, that's my baby.
We don't know. We don't know what's going on.
(01:06):
It's definitely allergies. I don't know.
We're starting to think that maybe she has a gluten
intolerance just like my 9 year old does because yeah, now like
almost everything she eats, she starts coughing.
So we're just trying to cut out gluten.
She already can't have nuts of any kind.
(01:29):
She's allergic to all tree nuts.We're trying to cut out dairy
because it, yeah, it is Right now it just seems like
everything she eats makes her cough and she has, she's like
trying to like clear her throat or just everything she eats like
irritates her throat. And she's currently just taking
(01:51):
Claritin until we can get her back to the allergy doctor.
She went to the allergy doctor acouple weeks ago.
I think I talked about this in apast episode. 3rd.
This is her third allergy doctor, and the fucking doctor
didn't bother checking to make sure that the allergy medicine
(02:12):
she prescribed her for all theseissues with almost everything
she eats. She didn't double check to make
sure that the medicine she prescribed wouldn't lower my
daughter's threshold for seizures because she has
epilepsy. So I don't really want to talk
about it. But she did have a breakthrough
(02:35):
seizure a few weeks ago. She had been taking that allergy
medicine for three days. She had a breakthrough seizure,
which sucks because it starts the clock all over again.
We have to go 2 years Cesar seizure free before they'll
(02:58):
retest her. And that breakthrough seizure we
were almost we just needed to get to December 2025.
And so that breakthrough seizurereset the clock because her
(03:18):
fucking doctor, we told her she had epilepsy.
It's in her chart. It's frustrating.
I don't like talking about it, but it's like, it's just one
thing after another with my kids.
Yeah, because my 9 year old has a gluten intolerance.
The baby has epilepsy. She's also allergic to all nuts,
(03:43):
tree nuts. And then now it's looking like
that she may be allergic to gluten too.
A good friend of mine suggested to me when I told her the other
day that, yeah, it just, it justseems like everything she eats
irritates her and she's coughingmost of the day.
And she was like, I wonder if she has a gluten intolerance
too, because my friend is glutenintolerant.
So she knows what to look for. And she's like, that was me
(04:05):
before I learned that I was gluten intolerant, is that
everything made me cough. Everything irritated me that I
ate. So we've been cutting out
gluten, cutting out dairy, and that seems to be helping.
But even like acidic stuff, likeshe had pineapple the other day.
So I don't know what we're goingto do.
She starts kindergarten in a fewweeks.
And yeah, so, so yeah, if you hear her coughing in the
(04:32):
background, it's her. She's OK, though.
It's just, it's frustrating, youknow, it's, it's hard to, you
know, see your kids dealing withstuff.
And then the gluten intolerance that's been hard to navigate
with my 9 year old because she loves going to birthday parties.
And birthday parties have been hard for her because she can't
(04:58):
have the pizza, she can't have the cake.
And you know, she is a trooper at the birthday party and acts
like, you know, this stuff doesn't bother her.
But as soon as we get in the car, she just burst into tears.
And then I burst into tears because it breaks my heart that
my baby can't indulge in pizza and and cake.
(05:21):
But we did go to this place. Shout out to City Cakes off of
2100 S. They made her a super cute cake.
Her birthday was July 18th and we did her party on the 19th.
Cake was $95 but City cakes makes gluten free and vegan
cakes and stuff. The cake was really good.
(05:43):
She wanted it dog man themed. They had no idea what dog man
was so but I sent them a picture.
They did a really good job. They did a good job on her cake
and it was really good. So shout out to City Cakes, they
did a good job. But anyway, welcome to the 13th
episode of Play With Your Dick. Not me.
(06:03):
I realized something the other day when I was driving that I
never introduced myself. I just assumed the whole world
knows me. So my name is Mercedes,
everybody calls me Sadie. This is so weird to be
introducing myself. Episode 13 nickname
self-proclaimed Capricorn Clark.So I'm not going to lie, I did.
(06:30):
I did kind of, I wouldn't say borrow because I'm a Capricorn
too and my last name is Clark, you know, so, but I heard that
name for the first time during the Diddy trial that I tried
very little to not pay attentionto.
I just after watching Surviving R Kelly, I just couldn't do it.
I couldn't That's that stuff is all traumatizing, but we're not
(06:54):
here to talk about that. But yeah, there was a witness
with the name Capricorn Clark and I'm like, that'll fit me
perfectly because I'm a Capricorn and my last name is
Clark. So I'm Sadie AKA Capricorn Clark
or I guess the second Capricorn Clark because the other one was
known before me. Whatever, she's her and I am me.
But no shade. But I, yeah, episode 13.
(07:18):
I also wanted to give a shout out to Crazy Eli.
Crazy Eli bounce houses. They we have gotten bounce
houses from them for the past couple years.
They are awesome, amazing people, Family owned business
here in Tula, great customer service.
We, my daughter, my middle childwho just had a birthday, she
(07:41):
loves the bounce houses. So we get them like almost every
year. My husband loves the fucking
bounce houses. So we get them every year.
Like his birthday is like 2 weeks before our nine year old.
And so yeah, he it's like seeinghis inner child come out.
The only time he relaxes and it's just a full blown kid is
(08:03):
when we get a bounce house and he's like counting down the
minutes so all the kids go home so he can have the bounce house
to himself and he'll make me go down at a zillion times our
girls. Like we're like, we'll play with
that damn bounce house into the midnight hours.
Like, we have a blast. So yeah, Crazy Eli's if, if you
(08:23):
don't know who to call for a bounce house here in town, I
definitely recommend them. We've tried jumping jacks and
honestly, we we prefer Crazy Eli's.
Like you can't go wrong with Crazy Eli's.
I also wanted to shout out Griffles.
It's a plasma center. There's multiple locations in
(08:44):
Salt Lake City. A friend of mine, actually
Chelsea, who was, who was on episode 11, Chelsea was the one
who turned me on to give me plasma donations when I was
unemployed last year. She had mentioned it to me about
a way to just make some money and also help save lives.
So yeah, I started going a few months ago.
(09:06):
They did put me on their defaultlist for a while because I
wanted my ears pierced and I kind of forgot that that was a
rule that you can't donate and have have piercings and stuff.
And so they put me on their, I think it's default or I don't
remember what the term is, but basically like I couldn't go and
(09:29):
donate for three months 'cause they just had to make sure, you
know, that I didn't, you know, pick up any, you know,
transmittable diseases or anything.
So I donated for a little bit and then I had to wait three
months. That three months is now up.
So I'm back to donating plasma again.
The 1st 4 times you go, it's $100 the first four times so
(09:53):
that you'll make, you know, you'll make $100.
The first four times you go, andthen after that, because you can
only go twice a week, So after that, I believe it's 40 the
first time you go. And the second time that week
you go, it's 50. So it drops down to 90 a week
after the first four times. But yeah, like, why not?
(10:17):
You're helping save a life. And you're also, you know,
making some extra money. So, you know, want to shout out
Griffo's Plasma? They have an app.
I will say the first time you go, expect to be there for a few
hours because they do like a physical.
They have you watch like a wholevideo about plasma donations and
just like the rules and safety and, you know, health stuff
(10:40):
behind it. And then you have to answer a
questionnaire that's kind of long and you know, then they
take you back and they ask you some questions.
But then after that initial appointment, it goes a lot
quicker. It'll go a lot quicker.
Like you can like login before you even walk in the building
and they'll ask you those, those, those questions And they
(11:02):
go from like, I don't know, 200 questions to like maybe 50.
Like once, once you're like registered in their system super
fast, they give you AQR code. You can scan the QR code when
you walk in. So it like automatically lets
them know that you're here. You kind of sit in the waiting
room for a few minutes. They call you back into like a
little room and they check your,I don't know, honestly, like,
(11:26):
they just like, prick your finger and put your blood in
this thing to check. I guess, like your sugar levels
are, I forget protein. I don't remember what it is.
But like, I do know if it's likelow, they'll tell you you can't
donate that day and you have to come back.
They did do that to a friend of mine who wanted to go donate
plasma. So like, it's just important
that you, like, eat like a balanced healthy meal that day.
(11:47):
Avoid coffee, alcohol, that kindof thing.
But yeah, you just, you know, goback there.
They sit you in a chair. You can just you know, for me it
takes about an hour. I have temperamental, my foot's
falling asleep already. I have, I have temperamental
high maintenance veins. So they usually have to poke me
a few times to get, you know, the donation or they have to
(12:10):
like switch. So what's worked for me is them
putting the needle in sideways, which is a little uncomfortable,
but I've gotten used to it. Not too bad, but I just pop my
headphones in, you know, watch acouple episodes.
You know, I love true crime. And so I've just been binging
(12:31):
all these different true crime documentaries lately.
So yeah, I just go to plasma, watch my show.
Takes about an hour. You usually have to, like,
squeeze something every time themonitor thing blinks, you know,
it's you need to squeeze the pump, you know, plasma out.
So, yeah, but if you haven't already or, or if you're
(12:52):
interested, just Google Griffos Plasma and you can find
locations. I just go to the one downtown.
It's the closest to where I work.
So I just drive on over there after work.
Speaking of driving, still haven't figured out my car ship.
Still figuring that out. My, my, my sweet, beautiful,
(13:15):
amazing, wonderful friend Maria is still letting me use her car
to get to and from work. So yeah, I'm still working on
that car situation. Super stressful, causing
ridiculous, pointless arguments between me and my husband.
But you know, it'll be OK. We'll get through it.
Car car issues suck. And then I think I talked about
(13:37):
it in episode 11, how excited I was to go to that hip hop class
in Salt Lake. It's almost like, not that I
feel like the universe is against me or anything, but it's
almost like I talked about it too much and was like, I'm doing
this, I'm so excited. I'm going to go tomorrow.
(13:59):
And the universe was like, no, you're not, Hold on.
I don't know what happened, but my recording stopped.
(14:21):
So on my phone for the audio. That's frustrating.
I'm about to figure out how to stick 2 files together.
I don't know how to do that. We'll figure it out anyways.
Or I might just have to distract, extract the audio from
this video. I'm figuring all kinds of stuff
out. I'm not like a super tech savvy
(14:42):
video type person, but since I've been doing this, I've been,
you know, learning a lot. But what was I talking about?
Oh yeah, no, I don't remember. I said, Oh yeah, but I don't
actually remember. What was I talking about?
Oh yes, So the hip hop thing. So yeah, it's almost, it's like
(15:04):
I talked about it too much and then the universe was like,
yeah, that's not going to happen.
You're not going to that tomorrow because that's when my
car broke down on my way to workthat morning.
You know the infamous horrible Wednesdays, like they're back
again or something. I don't know if I ever talked
about this, but since I was like6 years old, Wednesdays were
(15:26):
always my horrible, horrible, nogood, very bad days.
I don't know why, but I hated Wednesdays.
I dreaded them. I remember actually telling my
mom, I think it was 6th grade actually, or maybe 7th telling
my mom Wednesdays are always baddays for me.
They're always just horrible. Everything just goes wrong.
(15:46):
And my mom was like, well, you know, change the way you look at
it. Like, reframe that and think
more positively. Instead of thinking Wednesdays
are going to be a bad day, get up in the morning and go to
that. Wednesdays are going to be
great. Today's going to be a great day.
You know, just think positive. And I tried doing that for a
(16:07):
while. I can't remember if it worked.
But then a few years later, she ended up passing away in a fire
on a fucking Wednesday. Yeah.
I don't know, crazy. And what was weird about it, I
actually didn't start talking about this openly until
recently. I had a voice that kept coming
(16:31):
to me the month prior actually telling me that she was going to
pass away. And I remember, like,
physically, like, hitting my head, being like, stop it, stop
it, stop it, stop it. Because it like, freaked me out.
It scared me. And I didn't know why.
This voice kept telling me, yourmom's gonna die soon.
Your mom's gonna die soon. Your mom's gonna die soon.
And the morning that she had passed away in the fire, I was
(16:55):
having a horrible nightmare about her.
I basically dreamt that I was trying to chase her and catch up
to her. And no wonder how fast I ran, I
couldn't catch up to her. And then this big Golden Gate
opened and she walked through the gate and then it shut and
she just kept walking and kind of fading into the distance.
And there was smoke and, and aremissed.
(17:17):
And this man pops up and I'm left like a guard.
And I'm like, hey, I need to open the gate.
I'm trying to catch my mom, trying to catch up to her.
And the man just kept repeating,you may not enter.
It is not your time. You may not enter.
It is not your time. And I was I'm crying at this
point. I'm like, please open the gate.
I got to get to my mom. And he just kept saying, it is
not your time. You cannot enter.
(17:38):
And while I was chasing her before this, I just kept passing
people dressed all in white. And they were just kind of, you
know, not in a acting with each other, just kind of walking by
each other in a weird zombie state, just, you know, kind of
out of it. And nobody's talking,
interacting. They're just walking in slow
(17:59):
motion, dressed all in white. But yeah.
And. But I remember I woke up
sobbing. It scared the shit out of me.
And yeah, I went to school. People kept asking me, are you
OK? You don't look OK.
And I'm like, no, I'm not. I had this horrible last dream
about my mom and I don't know why.
And then, yeah, I got home laterthat evening and we got the news
(18:23):
that she had passed away. So.
But why don't we start this stuff off with some sad story?
But yeah, Wednesdays, like, for the longest time, were just bad
days for me. It was to the point that my
daughter, like, almost two yearsago, what was this, 2023?
(18:44):
She gave me a gold coin. And she's like, here, Mom, keep
in your desk at work. Hopefully, it'll bring you good
luck and you can have good days on Wednesday.
So yeah, there's more to that, but I don't really want to go
into it. No, I don't, not today.
I've been doing really good lately.
(19:09):
I I just, there was just a, a painful feeling that would
associate with that Wednesday bad day stuff.
And it it wasn't until a couple years ago that I realized who
that painful feeling was attached to.
(19:33):
I just would wake up every Wednesday with this missing
longing feeling like someone wasmissing.
I was missing somebody and I didn't know who they were.
But every Wednesday I would justhave this painful longing,
painful missing feeling. It was like this for years.
So I hated Wednesdays because I knew they were going to be a bad
day and I knew I was going to wake up missing somebody.
And I would go down the list of all the people I know, all the
(19:55):
people I lost, seeing if that feeling was attached to them.
Nope. And then I met that person a few
years ago who was the source of that longing and missing.
(20:15):
You share some sort of soul tie,but I don't want to talk about
it. But.
But yeah, it was weird. I still never figured out why it
was Wednesday, but I realized that it was attached to this
person because a few months after them being in my life, I
realized, hey, I haven't had baddays on Wednesdays.
And I haven't been having this longing, missing feeling since
(20:38):
this person came into my life. And it all just kind of clicked.
And then they left my life and that longing missing feeling
came back and then it was there every single day.
But I'm good now. So much better.
So anyways, we weren't. We're not talking about that
person. We're not talking about my, my
(20:59):
soul tied to this other vessel. I'm not, I'm not there yet to
discuss them. But anyway, I'm annoyed that I
took that much time talking about it anyway, so I kind of
(21:19):
wanted to. So I was just driving to work
this morning. I was thinking about what I
wanted to talk about today. It was, it was kind of, I want
to kind of wanted to do 2 topicsin one.
So if you've watched my last couple of episodes or listened,
you know that my sounding off orexit or goodbye message or
(21:46):
whatever, whatever you call it, I'm always saying be fucking
kind. And I wanted to expand on that.
Not that that like needs explanation, obviously, but I
just kind of wanted to expand like what I mean behind it,
(22:07):
really. So I have this philosophy that I
believe I might have mentioned this before, that I feel like
love starts at home. It starts at home.
And I don't think that it's difficult to raise kind, loving
children. I just don't.
(22:28):
And so it blows my mind, especially with me being a mom
that has children that have beenbullied and dealt with those
issues with other children, not being very kind to them, me
being bullied growing up. I have thought about it a lot
over the years. Like, I mean, obviously I know a
(22:49):
lot of different factors play into it, but I've always, I've
always just been like, it is nothard to be kind and it's not
hard to raise kind individuals. But I understand that hurt
people hurt people, and it's just, it's what happens
sometimes if you're unhealed, ifyou're a broken, unhealed
(23:12):
person, you're going to bleed onpeople that don't cut you.
And unfortunately, you may raisepeople, raise tiny humans and
not give them the attention and love that they deserve.
And then they might grow up to be people that bleed on other
people that didn't cut them. So I just so I believe that love
(23:37):
starts at home and I like to believe that if you are filling
your children with so much love,making them feel seen, making
them feel heard, meeting their needs, giving them your full
attention, getting down to theirlevel and having a conversation,
(23:58):
making helping them, not making,helping them understand things
that may be a bit confusing for them.
Like if if they do something that they shouldn't, you don't
need to yell at them. I understand we're all guilty of
it. I'm guilty of it.
Like we just, we have our days, we have our moments.
Like we might already be stressed out about something.
(24:20):
And we're also trying to fight against the programming that we
were instilled in us that we were, you know, the the
household we came from. So sometimes we do reenact
behaviors of our parents. And because we're the generation
that wants to break generationalcurses, we feel bad about it.
We feel bad when we accidentallysnap or yell at our kids because
(24:41):
we want to be better than our parents.
But, you know, get down to theirlevel and understand why
whatever they did wasn't OK. You know, don't belittle them.
You don't need a name call. One thing that I'm constantly
happy to remind my own husband of, for example, messes can be
(25:03):
cleaned up. Messes can be cleaned up because
he has a tendency. He never yells.
He never yells. He may raise his voice a little
bit, but he never yells. But he has a tendency to kind of
just be like, like, you know, why'd you do that, you know?
And it's usually centered aroundthe kids spilling something.
(25:27):
And it's the way we grew up. Our parents obviously yelled at
us. Tiger, from what he's told me,
he got his ass beat if he, you know, did almost anything.
So that's his story to tell. But you know, so that's what we
(25:53):
have to go off of is that we either got yelled at or we got
hit for doing something as simple as making a mess.
And so because we want to do things differently with our own
kids and reprogram ourselves andgive our children the parents
that we always needed but didn'thave.
But like I said, you have those moments where your programming
(26:13):
from how you were raised kicks in first.
So you know, messes can be cleaned up.
But once you've yelled at your child, once you've made them
feel horrible for spilling cereal, you can't fix that.
(26:36):
If you've instilled that fear and instilled that core wound of
them being afraid to make messes, you know, and then
they'll carry that in their body, whether they actually
remember that you ever yelled atthem for making a mess.
The body keeps score. The body never forgets.
So they will grow up and most likely yell at their kids when
(26:59):
they make a mess. So something we do in our
household, we take a minute. I'm so good at it at this point,
not to brag or anything, but I don't even need a minute.
I just immediately go to it's OK, don't worry, we can clean it
up. Mess is going to be cleaned up.
And my kids are so used to that that I charge that my kids are
(27:24):
so used to. Oh well, I guess we lost her.
I hate when that happens. That's OK.
So my kids are so used to me just going, it's OK, we'll clean
it up. That they don't even react, you
know, like they don't get upset or, you know, brace themselves
(27:48):
to get yelled at because they know that mom's not going to
have an issue that they spill the mess.
Like they, they because my, my girls are my girls.
They, they still might feel a little bad and be like, oh, that
was all my fault. And I'm like, no, it's OK.
Like it's all right. Like mess can be cleaned up.
See, let's clean it up. It's OK.
But really, like, they handle itwell.
(28:09):
They know that they don't have to be afraid or be worried that
they're going to be screamed outor hit or something.
So, yeah, so I feel like if you are doing the best you can with
giving your kids all the love, attention, guidance, support
(28:30):
that they need, making them feelseen, making them feel heard.
I feel like if you instill all those things in them and give
them all the love that you can, that they will walk out the
door, go out into the world and spread that love everywhere.
I mean, that's the goal, right? To increase the amount of love
(28:52):
in the world. So that's, that's just my
theory. That's just my philosophy.
That's my hope that if we all just give our kids loving, safe,
happy homes, do the best we can,they will go out in the world
and just spread that love and happiness and care and
(29:14):
acceptance and understanding, compassion, you know,
unconditional love for others and just spread it around the
world. So that's really what I mean or
one of the ways that I mean whenI say be kind.
I don't know if I brought this up because I don't go back and
listen to my episodes. So I don't know all the time
(29:36):
what I talk about and what I don't.
But I personally not judging anybody else, but I've grown a
lot personally as an individual,as a person, as a on my healing
journey person. And I've just kind of evolved
(29:58):
and shifted over the past coupleyears.
And it's just come to the point for me that I don't talk about
people. I don't like to gossip.
I don't like to be in or entertain spaces that think it's
(30:19):
OK to discuss other people, especially when those people are
not around to defend themselves or, you know, they're talking
with other people, passing judgment about life decisions
that somebody else is making. We are only walking in our own
shoes. We don't know what other people
(30:41):
are going through. We don't know how and why they
came to the decision that they came to.
If they're happy, that's all that matters.
If they're not hurting anybody, that's all that matters.
So I just even if the people I'maround are discussing this other
person out of more out of concern and not like talking
(31:01):
shit or gossiping, but more out of concern.
Either way, I tend to shift the conversation or say something
like, well, you know, they're happy.
We don't know why they came to that decision, but they're happy
and that's all that matters. Or depending on who the people
are, if I'm not really close to them to begin with and I happen
to walk up to them and they're discussing or saying not so nice
(31:21):
things about somebody else, I just turn around and walk away
and go do my own thing because it's just very low vibrational
to me. Nobody knows what they're going
to do in a situation until they're in it.
I personally feel the best word I can describe is icky.
(31:43):
Talking about other people, discussing other people,
literally my brain, 'cause I mean, we're human.
Everybody kind of just automatically wants to start
passing judgment, even if it's just in their head.
And even in my mind, my brain will kind of go, oh, Mercedes,
like, no, girl, that that's, that's, that's not the vibe.
(32:04):
We're not, you know, even cause,yeah, there are, there are still
times when when like my brain starts to produce like getting
ready to think something not so nice.
And I'm like, yeah, no, we're not doing that.
And so even to just sit with with other people and listen to
or engage in or join in talking negatively about somebody else,
(32:29):
I just, I can't do it. Like it, it doesn't sit right in
my spirit. I can't do it.
So that is another way that I, another way that I mean, when I
say be fucking kind, like nobodylikes being talked about.
Nobody does, you know, it doesn't feel good.
Pay attention to the circles that you're in.
Like I've said 1000 times, if you associate with somebody that
(32:52):
you noticed has something negative to say about everybody,
what do you think they're sayingabout you when you're not
around? You know, like they're smiling
in everybody's face, but you've watched them say bad things
about people as soon as they walk away.
Like I had a lot of toxic familymembers like that and I hated
(33:14):
being around them because of it.I just, I can't do it.
I can't do it, you know? Friends, family, me personally,
I can't do it. If, if, if that's the vibe, if
that's the kind of person you want to be.
Smile in people's faces and thentalk horribly about them when
they walk away. I can't associate with you can't
do it. Friends, family, I don't care
(33:35):
who you are, can't do it. At least let the person be
around to defend themselves, youknow, or if you have an issue
with them or you don't like a decision they're making in their
own life, talk to them about it.Talk to them about it.
You know, I, I mean, I'm speaking from life lessons of my
(33:55):
own. Like I said, no shade or
judgment on anybody else. I'm speaking about life lessons
that I've learned myself becauseI was a teenage girl.
I gossiped, you know, I lied to kick it or whatever the term
was, you know, like I, I, you know, engaged in low vibrational
(34:18):
stuff with, in low vibrational spaces with people just to fit
in, you know. So yeah, there was a time when I
was younger where I gossiped anddidn't say nice things about
people. Yes, baby, didn't you already
have one? I don't know.
I'm worried about you. Keep coughing.
What did you eat 'cause I know you had.
(34:40):
I just have a veggie chip. Veggie chips?
Yeah, those might, those might have gluten in them.
My love. Mama, you can eat Tom.
Oh, well, maybe they're just. When did you have veggie chips?
When we were going to the book. Oh, so that was hours ago.
OK, what did you have? A little while ago 'cause you
(35:01):
had a sandwich with gluten free bread.
Yeah, and strawberries earlier. I wonder if it was the acidic
and strawberries. What else did you have after
that? I thought you had a snack after.
Oh, no, I told you to wait. OK, fine.
You haven't been coughing in thepast?
A little bit. What are you going to have for
snack? Just a little bit.
(35:24):
And then we'll check and see howyou do.
OK. Hey.
Shut my door, my love. Our way.
Yes, please. Thank you, baby.
What was I saying? Yeah.
So, yeah, I, I did that, you know, not proud of it.
(35:44):
I I had friendships, you know, kind of get damaged because, you
know, I wasn't things that my friends would tell me I wasn't
keeping between US. And so these are lessons that I
had to learn over the years. So I'm just sharing my wisdom.
That's all. I'm just, I'm just sharing my
(36:05):
life experiences and how me Mercedes at 37 years old, I
just, I can't and I don't, I can't evolve myself in spaces
where people are talking, discussing other people in a
negative way. You know, I really try to stay
away from that. And I just feel like if you have
(36:29):
an issue with somebody, talk to him, you know, just talk to him.
Make sure they're in a place to receive what you have to say
because they can go pretty negative.
If we're currently in a Mercury,you know, retrograde and it's
not a good time to have deep conversations with people or you
know, they're having a bad day or something, you know, just
(36:51):
check the atmosphere, check to make sure we're not currently in
a Mercury retrograde and have the conversation.
And you know, the obvious ones, you know, just in general, be
kind to people. I used to think it was fake to
have to. Yes, my love.
(37:12):
I didn't come tonight eating veggies.
You didn't. OK, well, I'm still keeping an
eye on it, though. I love you.
I forgot what I'm going to say. My baby distracted me.
(37:34):
Yeah, like you don't. You don't know what people are
going through. Oh, I used to think that it was
super fake to continue to be kind of someone that you can't
stand, kind of someone that you don't like.
And I'm like, hell no, I ain't doing that.
Like I ain't, If I don't like you, you're I don't like you.
I'm not going to be around you and pretend like I like you.
But again, learning at my big age of 37, it's not fake.
(37:59):
You know, it's actually, I feel like a sign of maturity if you
can continue to be civil and be kind to somebody that you just
don't particularly vibe with forwhatever reason.
And yeah, like the obvious ones,something as simple as a smile
complimenting somebody you have no idea what that and don't even
(38:20):
have to compliment something on the surface like their shirt or
their hair or their makeup or their hat or their glasses or
whatever. Like you could tell them your
energy is dope. Like we vibe like I I love the
aura that you bring when you walk into a room.
You know, that would probably catch somebody off guard.
Like, whoa, really. Like, thank you.
(38:41):
You know, it doesn't have to just all be external stuff or
be. I really like your heart.
The world needs more people likeyou.
You know, I love saying that's people.
The world needs more people likeyou.
Yeah. So anyways, pivoting.
I heard this expression years ago.
(39:02):
I don't know who originally coined it, but fix another
Queen's crown without telling the world it was crooked.
That was another one that I had to learn because when I was
younger in a low vibrational place, I would tell other people
when another Queen's crown was crooked, when I should have just
been picking my friend up, helping her get through her
(39:24):
stuff and not tell anybody else about it.
Like, that's really what that means.
Like if your friend comes to you, they're having a hard time,
they're not doing OK. They just broke up with whoever
they were with. You know, they lost their job,
they're depressed, whatever's going on in their life, and
they're just not doing good. And instead of running to give
everybody else the tea that thisperson's life is falling apart,
(39:48):
rise to the occasion and be there for your friend.
Help your friend through their hard, tough thing that they're
going through. And you don't need to tell
nobody else about it. No one, no one needs to know
that they were going through that hard thing, you know, fix
their crown without telling anybody that it was crooked.
So, you know, because yeah, I have been there.
(40:08):
I have been that person on both sides of that, like I said where
I have told other people when myfriends crowns are crooked and I
had to live with. The aftermath of that if they
didn't really trust to tell me things anymore or be that close
to me anymore. And I was also on the other side
of that, like there was a girl that I was friends with.
Kind of similar to the conversation I was talking about
(40:30):
in last week's episode about, you know, being in a low place
kept dating and attracting lots of fuck boys.
And I don't know, apparently this particular friend, even
though her life was not where she wanted it, her relationship
was not how she wanted it, I don't know.
(40:51):
She chose to, you know, blast mylife all over the place.
I don't know, to make herself sound more interesting or maybe
take the, I guess the microscopeoff of what was going on in her
relationship. I don't know what her reasonings
were behind it, but she actuallyended up telling me that she was
(41:13):
sharing my life, stalking my whole life on the boardwalk,
telling my whole life to her coworkers.
And she told me this. And I'm like, why?
Like, I don't know these people.Like why are you telling them my
whole life? Why are you telling me about,
you know, how this seeing the, you know, the situation ship
(41:38):
that I just recently got out of with this guy or whatever, like,
you know, and it it was very uncomfortable.
It was very unsettling. I didn't like the fact that a
complete stranger that I didn't even know knew about my life and
she's at work with these people discussing me and then telling
me about it. And then on a different
occasion, she told me that her and her boyfriend just don't
(42:00):
have much to talk about. So in order for them to have
things to talk about, she discusses me in my life.
And I'm like, really like your relationship is that they're
like, there's that many. Like, like, I mean, your, your
communication is not quite therewith him to the point where the
(42:23):
only way to get him to pay attention to you and communicate
with you is to disgust me. So that was unsettling.
That was jarring. And it was weird that she felt
so comfortable just telling me this.
And yeah, it made me feel some kind of way, but it also helped
me see what it must have felt like for other people when I
(42:48):
discuss their life when that wasnot my place to do so.
It was almost like karma was giving it back to me because
then I learned that valuable lesson to not discuss other
people and and their lives and, you know, so, yeah.
So I really, I really just try to refrain from that because,
(43:09):
you know, it doesn't feel good. It doesn't, you know, and nobody
wants to be talked about. So yeah, so that was basically
the two things I wanted to talk about.
Not much else for today. So I'm going to I'm going to
(43:35):
stop it here. And I feel like my schedule is
just all over the place because I skipped a week due to just
being stressed with my car issues.
So I know that before I was released an episode on Monday
and Friday and now it's just kind of all over the place.
So I will get that back on trackand I will get another guest on.
(43:58):
I don't know when. I've been trying to get Tiger to
come on for a while. But those of you that know Tiger
in real life, he's very shy. He is very observant, really
only talks to you if you talk tohim.
I mean, that's everybody else inthe world.
Me, he never shuts the fuck up. He's very comfortable with me.
(44:19):
But being comfortable with me but then being comfortable with
me with a camera on us or us being recorded is a very
different thing. So he is just still a little
like hesitant about it. And so I mean, it doesn't have
to be recorded episode. We can just do audio and maybe
(44:40):
he'll feel he'll he'll be a little more relaxed.
And then I also feel like I haveto prep him because he's so
politically incorrect and says alot of things that you should
not say. So I feel like I would just be
editing a lot of our dialogue out because he has no filter and
I have to constantly get after him with what he's what's OK to
(45:01):
say and what is offensive. So, but he is very funny, so
funny, funniest person I know. We have great conversations.
We have so much fun. So I just would like everybody
to see that. But yeah.
And then the car stuff has been a lot for both of us.
(45:22):
He's super stressed out, you know, he always wants to just
make thing, make sure everythingin my world is perfect and
running smoothly. So the fact that my car is
having issues is really bothering him because he never
wants anything to be wrong with me.
He never wants anybody to hurt me or anything to be stressing
(45:43):
me out. So Tiger in a nutshell, if you
broke his crayons in kindergarten, he fucking hates
you. He still fucking hates you.
He can hold a grudge forever, but if you broke my crowns in
kindergarten, he really fucking hates you and wants to like,
hunt you down and beat you up. So it doesn't matter to him.
(46:04):
I've had friends that I've had afalling out with and then I make
up with them and he's like, I don't care.
I still fucking hate them. Like they hurt you.
I hate them. And so yeah, so this car stuff,
it's just for both of us. But he also hates seeing his
wife upset. So I love him.
(46:24):
But yeah, one of these days I think I want to do like a
couples episode 'cause we have like couple card games.
Like couples card games. And so I really think it would
be fun to do that. But yeah, he's just, he needs to
be in a better space mentally and emotionally because he's
just really stressed out. So I feel like if I get him on
now, he's not going to be able to relax enough to just have a
(46:47):
good time and his real side comeout and him be funny and silly.
And yeah, so he would. He's just, he's camera shy.
So like everybody in our real life, nobody knows him on the
level that I do. He only gives everybody else
maybe 2% of who he is, where I get the whole unfiltered 100%.
(47:08):
And so, you know, I'd really like to be able to get at least
like 80% of that out for everybody to see.
But, you know, but yeah, so loveyou guys.
I appreciate you listening. I've appreciated the support
that I've been getting lately and the people that have been
reaching out to me, telling me that my podcast has been
(47:28):
resonating with them and that they really like it.
I I love hearing that. That makes me feel amazing.
And it motivates me to keep going that I'm, you know,
resonating with people and, you know, and, you know, hitting
them right in their fields. I guess because I've had people
(47:49):
contact me telling me that like,my episode made them cry or make
them tear up. And I'm not trying to purposely
do that. I'm just speaking my truth.
But I, I just appreciate, I've appreciated the people that have
reached out and sent me messagesand shared and liked my stuff.
I really appreciate it. So yeah, I just wanted to give a
(48:10):
special shout out to those people.
Like thank you so much whether I've haven't seen you in years
or not or talk to you in years I've run into at the store or
not, or if you're someone I've never even met in real life.
Like I I appreciate the support and all the sweet kind words so
but I'm going to end it here. As always, be fucking kind.
(48:32):
You don't know what people are going through.
You don't know if they attemptedto unalive themselves the night
before and it failed or whatever.
You don't know. You don't know what people are
going through, you don't. So just be kind.
I get it. We all have our days, we're
stressed out, we're annoyed, youknow, everybody may suck, but
(48:57):
still be kind. Be kind.
You have no idea the impact it'll have on somebody else.
No idea. So but thanks for listening and
this has been play with your Dick, not me.
And I will catch you guys in thenext one.
Bye.
Wasn't wasn't that MGK? Yeah, I just, I could spend this
whole episode talking about how much I love MGK, but we won't.
But I just I just love the vibe of that Miss Sunshine video and
just chilling with a couple friends driving, you know,
(00:26):
riding on little mini cars. Like we should all strive to
have friends like that. They're just like, Hey, you want
to be my music video and just ride around in little cars.
Like I fucking love the vibe. I love the vibe.
He looks like he's just having an awesome ass time with his
friends. And I think those are his same
homies from like day one, you know?
(00:46):
So I love that. Like I absolutely respect the
fuck out of that. That's awesome.
If you can hear coughing in the background, that's my baby.
We don't know. We don't know what's going on.
(01:06):
It's definitely allergies. I don't know.
We're starting to think that maybe she has a gluten
intolerance just like my 9 year old does because yeah, now like
almost everything she eats, she starts coughing.
So we're just trying to cut out gluten.
She already can't have nuts of any kind.
(01:29):
She's allergic to all tree nuts.We're trying to cut out dairy
because it, yeah, it is Right now it just seems like
everything she eats makes her cough and she has, she's like
trying to like clear her throat or just everything she eats like
irritates her throat. And she's currently just taking
(01:51):
Claritin until we can get her back to the allergy doctor.
She went to the allergy doctor acouple weeks ago.
I think I talked about this in apast episode. 3rd.
This is her third allergy doctor, and the fucking doctor
didn't bother checking to make sure that the allergy medicine
(02:12):
she prescribed her for all theseissues with almost everything
she eats. She didn't double check to make
sure that the medicine she prescribed wouldn't lower my
daughter's threshold for seizures because she has
epilepsy. So I don't really want to talk
about it. But she did have a breakthrough
(02:35):
seizure a few weeks ago. She had been taking that allergy
medicine for three days. She had a breakthrough seizure,
which sucks because it starts the clock all over again.
We have to go 2 years Cesar seizure free before they'll
(02:58):
retest her. And that breakthrough seizure we
were almost we just needed to get to December 2025.
And so that breakthrough seizurereset the clock because her
(03:18):
fucking doctor, we told her she had epilepsy.
It's in her chart. It's frustrating.
I don't like talking about it, but it's like, it's just one
thing after another with my kids.
Yeah, because my 9 year old has a gluten intolerance.
The baby has epilepsy. She's also allergic to all nuts,
(03:43):
tree nuts. And then now it's looking like
that she may be allergic to gluten too.
A good friend of mine suggested to me when I told her the other
day that, yeah, it just, it justseems like everything she eats
irritates her and she's coughingmost of the day.
And she was like, I wonder if she has a gluten intolerance
too, because my friend is glutenintolerant.
So she knows what to look for. And she's like, that was me
(04:05):
before I learned that I was gluten intolerant, is that
everything made me cough. Everything irritated me that I
ate. So we've been cutting out
gluten, cutting out dairy, and that seems to be helping.
But even like acidic stuff, likeshe had pineapple the other day.
So I don't know what we're goingto do.
She starts kindergarten in a fewweeks.
And yeah, so, so yeah, if you hear her coughing in the
(04:32):
background, it's her. She's OK, though.
It's just, it's frustrating, youknow, it's, it's hard to, you
know, see your kids dealing withstuff.
And then the gluten intolerance that's been hard to navigate
with my 9 year old because she loves going to birthday parties.
And birthday parties have been hard for her because she can't
(04:58):
have the pizza, she can't have the cake.
And you know, she is a trooper at the birthday party and acts
like, you know, this stuff doesn't bother her.
But as soon as we get in the car, she just burst into tears.
And then I burst into tears because it breaks my heart that
my baby can't indulge in pizza and and cake.
(05:21):
But we did go to this place. Shout out to City Cakes off of
2100 S. They made her a super cute cake.
Her birthday was July 18th and we did her party on the 19th.
Cake was $95 but City cakes makes gluten free and vegan
cakes and stuff. The cake was really good.
(05:43):
She wanted it dog man themed. They had no idea what dog man
was so but I sent them a picture.
They did a really good job. They did a good job on her cake
and it was really good. So shout out to City Cakes, they
did a good job. But anyway, welcome to the 13th
episode of Play With Your Dick. Not me.
(06:03):
I realized something the other day when I was driving that I
never introduced myself. I just assumed the whole world
knows me. So my name is Mercedes,
everybody calls me Sadie. This is so weird to be
introducing myself. Episode 13 nickname
self-proclaimed Capricorn Clark.So I'm not going to lie, I did.
(06:30):
I did kind of, I wouldn't say borrow because I'm a Capricorn
too and my last name is Clark, you know, so, but I heard that
name for the first time during the Diddy trial that I tried
very little to not pay attentionto.
I just after watching Surviving R Kelly, I just couldn't do it.
I couldn't That's that stuff is all traumatizing, but we're not
(06:54):
here to talk about that. But yeah, there was a witness
with the name Capricorn Clark and I'm like, that'll fit me
perfectly because I'm a Capricorn and my last name is
Clark. So I'm Sadie AKA Capricorn Clark
or I guess the second Capricorn Clark because the other one was
known before me. Whatever, she's her and I am me.
But no shade. But I, yeah, episode 13.
(07:18):
I also wanted to give a shout out to Crazy Eli.
Crazy Eli bounce houses. They we have gotten bounce
houses from them for the past couple years.
They are awesome, amazing people, Family owned business
here in Tula, great customer service.
We, my daughter, my middle childwho just had a birthday, she
(07:41):
loves the bounce houses. So we get them like almost every
year. My husband loves the fucking
bounce houses. So we get them every year.
Like his birthday is like 2 weeks before our nine year old.
And so yeah, he it's like seeinghis inner child come out.
The only time he relaxes and it's just a full blown kid is
(08:03):
when we get a bounce house and he's like counting down the
minutes so all the kids go home so he can have the bounce house
to himself and he'll make me go down at a zillion times our
girls. Like we're like, we'll play with
that damn bounce house into the midnight hours.
Like, we have a blast. So yeah, Crazy Eli's if, if you
(08:23):
don't know who to call for a bounce house here in town, I
definitely recommend them. We've tried jumping jacks and
honestly, we we prefer Crazy Eli's.
Like you can't go wrong with Crazy Eli's.
I also wanted to shout out Griffles.
It's a plasma center. There's multiple locations in
(08:44):
Salt Lake City. A friend of mine, actually
Chelsea, who was, who was on episode 11, Chelsea was the one
who turned me on to give me plasma donations when I was
unemployed last year. She had mentioned it to me about
a way to just make some money and also help save lives.
So yeah, I started going a few months ago.
(09:06):
They did put me on their defaultlist for a while because I
wanted my ears pierced and I kind of forgot that that was a
rule that you can't donate and have have piercings and stuff.
And so they put me on their, I think it's default or I don't
remember what the term is, but basically like I couldn't go and
(09:29):
donate for three months 'cause they just had to make sure, you
know, that I didn't, you know, pick up any, you know,
transmittable diseases or anything.
So I donated for a little bit and then I had to wait three
months. That three months is now up.
So I'm back to donating plasma again.
The 1st 4 times you go, it's $100 the first four times so
(09:53):
that you'll make, you know, you'll make $100.
The first four times you go, andthen after that, because you can
only go twice a week, So after that, I believe it's 40 the
first time you go. And the second time that week
you go, it's 50. So it drops down to 90 a week
after the first four times. But yeah, like, why not?
(10:17):
You're helping save a life. And you're also, you know,
making some extra money. So, you know, want to shout out
Griffo's Plasma? They have an app.
I will say the first time you go, expect to be there for a few
hours because they do like a physical.
They have you watch like a wholevideo about plasma donations and
just like the rules and safety and, you know, health stuff
(10:40):
behind it. And then you have to answer a
questionnaire that's kind of long and you know, then they
take you back and they ask you some questions.
But then after that initial appointment, it goes a lot
quicker. It'll go a lot quicker.
Like you can like login before you even walk in the building
and they'll ask you those, those, those questions And they
(11:02):
go from like, I don't know, 200 questions to like maybe 50.
Like once, once you're like registered in their system super
fast, they give you AQR code. You can scan the QR code when
you walk in. So it like automatically lets
them know that you're here. You kind of sit in the waiting
room for a few minutes. They call you back into like a
little room and they check your,I don't know, honestly, like,
(11:26):
they just like, prick your finger and put your blood in
this thing to check. I guess, like your sugar levels
are, I forget protein. I don't remember what it is.
But like, I do know if it's likelow, they'll tell you you can't
donate that day and you have to come back.
They did do that to a friend of mine who wanted to go donate
plasma. So like, it's just important
that you, like, eat like a balanced healthy meal that day.
(11:47):
Avoid coffee, alcohol, that kindof thing.
But yeah, you just, you know, goback there.
They sit you in a chair. You can just you know, for me it
takes about an hour. I have temperamental, my foot's
falling asleep already. I have, I have temperamental
high maintenance veins. So they usually have to poke me
a few times to get, you know, the donation or they have to
(12:10):
like switch. So what's worked for me is them
putting the needle in sideways, which is a little uncomfortable,
but I've gotten used to it. Not too bad, but I just pop my
headphones in, you know, watch acouple episodes.
You know, I love true crime. And so I've just been binging
(12:31):
all these different true crime documentaries lately.
So yeah, I just go to plasma, watch my show.
Takes about an hour. You usually have to, like,
squeeze something every time themonitor thing blinks, you know,
it's you need to squeeze the pump, you know, plasma out.
So, yeah, but if you haven't already or, or if you're
(12:52):
interested, just Google Griffos Plasma and you can find
locations. I just go to the one downtown.
It's the closest to where I work.
So I just drive on over there after work.
Speaking of driving, still haven't figured out my car ship.
Still figuring that out. My, my, my sweet, beautiful,
(13:15):
amazing, wonderful friend Maria is still letting me use her car
to get to and from work. So yeah, I'm still working on
that car situation. Super stressful, causing
ridiculous, pointless arguments between me and my husband.
But you know, it'll be OK. We'll get through it.
Car car issues suck. And then I think I talked about
(13:37):
it in episode 11, how excited I was to go to that hip hop class
in Salt Lake. It's almost like, not that I
feel like the universe is against me or anything, but it's
almost like I talked about it too much and was like, I'm doing
this, I'm so excited. I'm going to go tomorrow.
(13:59):
And the universe was like, no, you're not, Hold on.
I don't know what happened, but my recording stopped.
(14:21):
So on my phone for the audio. That's frustrating.
I'm about to figure out how to stick 2 files together.
I don't know how to do that. We'll figure it out anyways.
Or I might just have to distract, extract the audio from
this video. I'm figuring all kinds of stuff
out. I'm not like a super tech savvy
(14:42):
video type person, but since I've been doing this, I've been,
you know, learning a lot. But what was I talking about?
Oh yeah, no, I don't remember. I said, Oh yeah, but I don't
actually remember. What was I talking about?
Oh yes, So the hip hop thing. So yeah, it's almost, it's like
(15:04):
I talked about it too much and then the universe was like,
yeah, that's not going to happen.
You're not going to that tomorrow because that's when my
car broke down on my way to workthat morning.
You know the infamous horrible Wednesdays, like they're back
again or something. I don't know if I ever talked
about this, but since I was like6 years old, Wednesdays were
(15:26):
always my horrible, horrible, nogood, very bad days.
I don't know why, but I hated Wednesdays.
I dreaded them. I remember actually telling my
mom, I think it was 6th grade actually, or maybe 7th telling
my mom Wednesdays are always baddays for me.
They're always just horrible. Everything just goes wrong.
(15:46):
And my mom was like, well, you know, change the way you look at
it. Like, reframe that and think
more positively. Instead of thinking Wednesdays
are going to be a bad day, get up in the morning and go to
that. Wednesdays are going to be
great. Today's going to be a great day.
You know, just think positive. And I tried doing that for a
(16:07):
while. I can't remember if it worked.
But then a few years later, she ended up passing away in a fire
on a fucking Wednesday. Yeah.
I don't know, crazy. And what was weird about it, I
actually didn't start talking about this openly until
recently. I had a voice that kept coming
(16:31):
to me the month prior actually telling me that she was going to
pass away. And I remember, like,
physically, like, hitting my head, being like, stop it, stop
it, stop it, stop it. Because it like, freaked me out.
It scared me. And I didn't know why.
This voice kept telling me, yourmom's gonna die soon.
Your mom's gonna die soon. Your mom's gonna die soon.
And the morning that she had passed away in the fire, I was
(16:55):
having a horrible nightmare about her.
I basically dreamt that I was trying to chase her and catch up
to her. And no wonder how fast I ran, I
couldn't catch up to her. And then this big Golden Gate
opened and she walked through the gate and then it shut and
she just kept walking and kind of fading into the distance.
And there was smoke and, and aremissed.
(17:17):
And this man pops up and I'm left like a guard.
And I'm like, hey, I need to open the gate.
I'm trying to catch my mom, trying to catch up to her.
And the man just kept repeating,you may not enter.
It is not your time. You may not enter.
It is not your time. And I was I'm crying at this
point. I'm like, please open the gate.
I got to get to my mom. And he just kept saying, it is
not your time. You cannot enter.
(17:38):
And while I was chasing her before this, I just kept passing
people dressed all in white. And they were just kind of, you
know, not in a acting with each other, just kind of walking by
each other in a weird zombie state, just, you know, kind of
out of it. And nobody's talking,
interacting. They're just walking in slow
(17:59):
motion, dressed all in white. But yeah.
And. But I remember I woke up
sobbing. It scared the shit out of me.
And yeah, I went to school. People kept asking me, are you
OK? You don't look OK.
And I'm like, no, I'm not. I had this horrible last dream
about my mom and I don't know why.
And then, yeah, I got home laterthat evening and we got the news
(18:23):
that she had passed away. So.
But why don't we start this stuff off with some sad story?
But yeah, Wednesdays, like, for the longest time, were just bad
days for me. It was to the point that my
daughter, like, almost two yearsago, what was this, 2023?
(18:44):
She gave me a gold coin. And she's like, here, Mom, keep
in your desk at work. Hopefully, it'll bring you good
luck and you can have good days on Wednesday.
So yeah, there's more to that, but I don't really want to go
into it. No, I don't, not today.
I've been doing really good lately.
(19:09):
I I just, there was just a, a painful feeling that would
associate with that Wednesday bad day stuff.
And it it wasn't until a couple years ago that I realized who
that painful feeling was attached to.
(19:33):
I just would wake up every Wednesday with this missing
longing feeling like someone wasmissing.
I was missing somebody and I didn't know who they were.
But every Wednesday I would justhave this painful longing,
painful missing feeling. It was like this for years.
So I hated Wednesdays because I knew they were going to be a bad
day and I knew I was going to wake up missing somebody.
And I would go down the list of all the people I know, all the
(19:55):
people I lost, seeing if that feeling was attached to them.
Nope. And then I met that person a few
years ago who was the source of that longing and missing.
(20:15):
You share some sort of soul tie,but I don't want to talk about
it. But.
But yeah, it was weird. I still never figured out why it
was Wednesday, but I realized that it was attached to this
person because a few months after them being in my life, I
realized, hey, I haven't had baddays on Wednesdays.
And I haven't been having this longing, missing feeling since
(20:38):
this person came into my life. And it all just kind of clicked.
And then they left my life and that longing missing feeling
came back and then it was there every single day.
But I'm good now. So much better.
So anyways, we weren't. We're not talking about that
person. We're not talking about my, my
(20:59):
soul tied to this other vessel. I'm not, I'm not there yet to
discuss them. But anyway, I'm annoyed that I
took that much time talking about it anyway, so I kind of
(21:19):
wanted to. So I was just driving to work
this morning. I was thinking about what I
wanted to talk about today. It was, it was kind of, I want
to kind of wanted to do 2 topicsin one.
So if you've watched my last couple of episodes or listened,
you know that my sounding off orexit or goodbye message or
(21:46):
whatever, whatever you call it, I'm always saying be fucking
kind. And I wanted to expand on that.
Not that that like needs explanation, obviously, but I
just kind of wanted to expand like what I mean behind it,
(22:07):
really. So I have this philosophy that I
believe I might have mentioned this before, that I feel like
love starts at home. It starts at home.
And I don't think that it's difficult to raise kind, loving
children. I just don't.
(22:28):
And so it blows my mind, especially with me being a mom
that has children that have beenbullied and dealt with those
issues with other children, not being very kind to them, me
being bullied growing up. I have thought about it a lot
over the years. Like, I mean, obviously I know a
(22:49):
lot of different factors play into it, but I've always, I've
always just been like, it is nothard to be kind and it's not
hard to raise kind individuals. But I understand that hurt
people hurt people, and it's just, it's what happens
sometimes if you're unhealed, ifyou're a broken, unhealed
(23:12):
person, you're going to bleed onpeople that don't cut you.
And unfortunately, you may raisepeople, raise tiny humans and
not give them the attention and love that they deserve.
And then they might grow up to be people that bleed on other
people that didn't cut them. So I just so I believe that love
(23:37):
starts at home and I like to believe that if you are filling
your children with so much love,making them feel seen, making
them feel heard, meeting their needs, giving them your full
attention, getting down to theirlevel and having a conversation,
(23:58):
making helping them, not making,helping them understand things
that may be a bit confusing for them.
Like if if they do something that they shouldn't, you don't
need to yell at them. I understand we're all guilty of
it. I'm guilty of it.
Like we just, we have our days, we have our moments.
Like we might already be stressed out about something.
(24:20):
And we're also trying to fight against the programming that we
were instilled in us that we were, you know, the the
household we came from. So sometimes we do reenact
behaviors of our parents. And because we're the generation
that wants to break generationalcurses, we feel bad about it.
We feel bad when we accidentallysnap or yell at our kids because
(24:41):
we want to be better than our parents.
But, you know, get down to theirlevel and understand why
whatever they did wasn't OK. You know, don't belittle them.
You don't need a name call. One thing that I'm constantly
happy to remind my own husband of, for example, messes can be
(25:03):
cleaned up. Messes can be cleaned up because
he has a tendency. He never yells.
He never yells. He may raise his voice a little
bit, but he never yells. But he has a tendency to kind of
just be like, like, you know, why'd you do that, you know?
And it's usually centered aroundthe kids spilling something.
(25:27):
And it's the way we grew up. Our parents obviously yelled at
us. Tiger, from what he's told me,
he got his ass beat if he, you know, did almost anything.
So that's his story to tell. But you know, so that's what we
(25:53):
have to go off of is that we either got yelled at or we got
hit for doing something as simple as making a mess.
And so because we want to do things differently with our own
kids and reprogram ourselves andgive our children the parents
that we always needed but didn'thave.
But like I said, you have those moments where your programming
(26:13):
from how you were raised kicks in first.
So you know, messes can be cleaned up.
But once you've yelled at your child, once you've made them
feel horrible for spilling cereal, you can't fix that.
(26:36):
If you've instilled that fear and instilled that core wound of
them being afraid to make messes, you know, and then
they'll carry that in their body, whether they actually
remember that you ever yelled atthem for making a mess.
The body keeps score. The body never forgets.
So they will grow up and most likely yell at their kids when
(26:59):
they make a mess. So something we do in our
household, we take a minute. I'm so good at it at this point,
not to brag or anything, but I don't even need a minute.
I just immediately go to it's OK, don't worry, we can clean it
up. Mess is going to be cleaned up.
And my kids are so used to that that I charge that my kids are
(27:24):
so used to. Oh well, I guess we lost her.
I hate when that happens. That's OK.
So my kids are so used to me just going, it's OK, we'll clean
it up. That they don't even react, you
know, like they don't get upset or, you know, brace themselves
(27:48):
to get yelled at because they know that mom's not going to
have an issue that they spill the mess.
Like they, they because my, my girls are my girls.
They, they still might feel a little bad and be like, oh, that
was all my fault. And I'm like, no, it's OK.
Like it's all right. Like mess can be cleaned up.
See, let's clean it up. It's OK.
But really, like, they handle itwell.
(28:09):
They know that they don't have to be afraid or be worried that
they're going to be screamed outor hit or something.
So, yeah, so I feel like if you are doing the best you can with
giving your kids all the love, attention, guidance, support
(28:30):
that they need, making them feelseen, making them feel heard.
I feel like if you instill all those things in them and give
them all the love that you can, that they will walk out the
door, go out into the world and spread that love everywhere.
I mean, that's the goal, right? To increase the amount of love
(28:52):
in the world. So that's, that's just my
theory. That's just my philosophy.
That's my hope that if we all just give our kids loving, safe,
happy homes, do the best we can,they will go out in the world
and just spread that love and happiness and care and
(29:14):
acceptance and understanding, compassion, you know,
unconditional love for others and just spread it around the
world. So that's really what I mean or
one of the ways that I mean whenI say be kind.
I don't know if I brought this up because I don't go back and
listen to my episodes. So I don't know all the time
(29:36):
what I talk about and what I don't.
But I personally not judging anybody else, but I've grown a
lot personally as an individual,as a person, as a on my healing
journey person. And I've just kind of evolved
(29:58):
and shifted over the past coupleyears.
And it's just come to the point for me that I don't talk about
people. I don't like to gossip.
I don't like to be in or entertain spaces that think it's
(30:19):
OK to discuss other people, especially when those people are
not around to defend themselves or, you know, they're talking
with other people, passing judgment about life decisions
that somebody else is making. We are only walking in our own
shoes. We don't know what other people
(30:41):
are going through. We don't know how and why they
came to the decision that they came to.
If they're happy, that's all that matters.
If they're not hurting anybody, that's all that matters.
So I just even if the people I'maround are discussing this other
person out of more out of concern and not like talking
(31:01):
shit or gossiping, but more out of concern.
Either way, I tend to shift the conversation or say something
like, well, you know, they're happy.
We don't know why they came to that decision, but they're happy
and that's all that matters. Or depending on who the people
are, if I'm not really close to them to begin with and I happen
to walk up to them and they're discussing or saying not so nice
(31:21):
things about somebody else, I just turn around and walk away
and go do my own thing because it's just very low vibrational
to me. Nobody knows what they're going
to do in a situation until they're in it.
I personally feel the best word I can describe is icky.
(31:43):
Talking about other people, discussing other people,
literally my brain, 'cause I mean, we're human.
Everybody kind of just automatically wants to start
passing judgment, even if it's just in their head.
And even in my mind, my brain will kind of go, oh, Mercedes,
like, no, girl, that that's, that's, that's not the vibe.
(32:04):
We're not, you know, even cause,yeah, there are, there are still
times when when like my brain starts to produce like getting
ready to think something not so nice.
And I'm like, yeah, no, we're not doing that.
And so even to just sit with with other people and listen to
or engage in or join in talking negatively about somebody else,
(32:29):
I just, I can't do it. Like it, it doesn't sit right in
my spirit. I can't do it.
So that is another way that I, another way that I mean, when I
say be fucking kind, like nobodylikes being talked about.
Nobody does, you know, it doesn't feel good.
Pay attention to the circles that you're in.
Like I've said 1000 times, if you associate with somebody that
(32:52):
you noticed has something negative to say about everybody,
what do you think they're sayingabout you when you're not
around? You know, like they're smiling
in everybody's face, but you've watched them say bad things
about people as soon as they walk away.
Like I had a lot of toxic familymembers like that and I hated
(33:14):
being around them because of it.I just, I can't do it.
I can't do it, you know? Friends, family, me personally,
I can't do it. If, if, if that's the vibe, if
that's the kind of person you want to be.
Smile in people's faces and thentalk horribly about them when
they walk away. I can't associate with you can't
do it. Friends, family, I don't care
(33:35):
who you are, can't do it. At least let the person be
around to defend themselves, youknow, or if you have an issue
with them or you don't like a decision they're making in their
own life, talk to them about it.Talk to them about it.
You know, I, I mean, I'm speaking from life lessons of my
(33:55):
own. Like I said, no shade or
judgment on anybody else. I'm speaking about life lessons
that I've learned myself becauseI was a teenage girl.
I gossiped, you know, I lied to kick it or whatever the term
was, you know, like I, I, you know, engaged in low vibrational
(34:18):
stuff with, in low vibrational spaces with people just to fit
in, you know. So yeah, there was a time when I
was younger where I gossiped anddidn't say nice things about
people. Yes, baby, didn't you already
have one? I don't know.
I'm worried about you. Keep coughing.
What did you eat 'cause I know you had.
(34:40):
I just have a veggie chip. Veggie chips?
Yeah, those might, those might have gluten in them.
My love. Mama, you can eat Tom.
Oh, well, maybe they're just. When did you have veggie chips?
When we were going to the book. Oh, so that was hours ago.
OK, what did you have? A little while ago 'cause you
(35:01):
had a sandwich with gluten free bread.
Yeah, and strawberries earlier. I wonder if it was the acidic
and strawberries. What else did you have after
that? I thought you had a snack after.
Oh, no, I told you to wait. OK, fine.
You haven't been coughing in thepast?
A little bit. What are you going to have for
snack? Just a little bit.
(35:24):
And then we'll check and see howyou do.
OK. Hey.
Shut my door, my love. Our way.
Yes, please. Thank you, baby.
What was I saying? Yeah.
So, yeah, I, I did that, you know, not proud of it.
(35:44):
I I had friendships, you know, kind of get damaged because, you
know, I wasn't things that my friends would tell me I wasn't
keeping between US. And so these are lessons that I
had to learn over the years. So I'm just sharing my wisdom.
That's all. I'm just, I'm just sharing my
(36:05):
life experiences and how me Mercedes at 37 years old, I
just, I can't and I don't, I can't evolve myself in spaces
where people are talking, discussing other people in a
negative way. You know, I really try to stay
away from that. And I just feel like if you have
(36:29):
an issue with somebody, talk to him, you know, just talk to him.
Make sure they're in a place to receive what you have to say
because they can go pretty negative.
If we're currently in a Mercury,you know, retrograde and it's
not a good time to have deep conversations with people or you
know, they're having a bad day or something, you know, just
(36:51):
check the atmosphere, check to make sure we're not currently in
a Mercury retrograde and have the conversation.
And you know, the obvious ones, you know, just in general, be
kind to people. I used to think it was fake to
have to. Yes, my love.
(37:12):
I didn't come tonight eating veggies.
You didn't. OK, well, I'm still keeping an
eye on it, though. I love you.
I forgot what I'm going to say. My baby distracted me.
(37:34):
Yeah, like you don't. You don't know what people are
going through. Oh, I used to think that it was
super fake to continue to be kind of someone that you can't
stand, kind of someone that you don't like.
And I'm like, hell no, I ain't doing that.
Like I ain't, If I don't like you, you're I don't like you.
I'm not going to be around you and pretend like I like you.
But again, learning at my big age of 37, it's not fake.
(37:59):
You know, it's actually, I feel like a sign of maturity if you
can continue to be civil and be kind to somebody that you just
don't particularly vibe with forwhatever reason.
And yeah, like the obvious ones,something as simple as a smile
complimenting somebody you have no idea what that and don't even
(38:20):
have to compliment something on the surface like their shirt or
their hair or their makeup or their hat or their glasses or
whatever. Like you could tell them your
energy is dope. Like we vibe like I I love the
aura that you bring when you walk into a room.
You know, that would probably catch somebody off guard.
Like, whoa, really. Like, thank you.
(38:41):
You know, it doesn't have to just all be external stuff or
be. I really like your heart.
The world needs more people likeyou.
You know, I love saying that's people.
The world needs more people likeyou.
Yeah. So anyways, pivoting.
I heard this expression years ago.
(39:02):
I don't know who originally coined it, but fix another
Queen's crown without telling the world it was crooked.
That was another one that I had to learn because when I was
younger in a low vibrational place, I would tell other people
when another Queen's crown was crooked, when I should have just
been picking my friend up, helping her get through her
(39:24):
stuff and not tell anybody else about it.
Like, that's really what that means.
Like if your friend comes to you, they're having a hard time,
they're not doing OK. They just broke up with whoever
they were with. You know, they lost their job,
they're depressed, whatever's going on in their life, and
they're just not doing good. And instead of running to give
everybody else the tea that thisperson's life is falling apart,
(39:48):
rise to the occasion and be there for your friend.
Help your friend through their hard, tough thing that they're
going through. And you don't need to tell
nobody else about it. No one, no one needs to know
that they were going through that hard thing, you know, fix
their crown without telling anybody that it was crooked.
So, you know, because yeah, I have been there.
(40:08):
I have been that person on both sides of that, like I said where
I have told other people when myfriends crowns are crooked and I
had to live with. The aftermath of that if they
didn't really trust to tell me things anymore or be that close
to me anymore. And I was also on the other side
of that, like there was a girl that I was friends with.
Kind of similar to the conversation I was talking about
(40:30):
in last week's episode about, you know, being in a low place
kept dating and attracting lots of fuck boys.
And I don't know, apparently this particular friend, even
though her life was not where she wanted it, her relationship
was not how she wanted it, I don't know.
(40:51):
She chose to, you know, blast mylife all over the place.
I don't know, to make herself sound more interesting or maybe
take the, I guess the microscopeoff of what was going on in her
relationship. I don't know what her reasonings
were behind it, but she actuallyended up telling me that she was
(41:13):
sharing my life, stalking my whole life on the boardwalk,
telling my whole life to her coworkers.
And she told me this. And I'm like, why?
Like, I don't know these people.Like why are you telling them my
whole life? Why are you telling me about,
you know, how this seeing the, you know, the situation ship
(41:38):
that I just recently got out of with this guy or whatever, like,
you know, and it it was very uncomfortable.
It was very unsettling. I didn't like the fact that a
complete stranger that I didn't even know knew about my life and
she's at work with these people discussing me and then telling
me about it. And then on a different
occasion, she told me that her and her boyfriend just don't
(42:00):
have much to talk about. So in order for them to have
things to talk about, she discusses me in my life.
And I'm like, really like your relationship is that they're
like, there's that many. Like, like, I mean, your, your
communication is not quite therewith him to the point where the
(42:23):
only way to get him to pay attention to you and communicate
with you is to disgust me. So that was unsettling.
That was jarring. And it was weird that she felt
so comfortable just telling me this.
And yeah, it made me feel some kind of way, but it also helped
me see what it must have felt like for other people when I
(42:48):
discuss their life when that wasnot my place to do so.
It was almost like karma was giving it back to me because
then I learned that valuable lesson to not discuss other
people and and their lives and, you know, so, yeah.
So I really, I really just try to refrain from that because,
(43:09):
you know, it doesn't feel good. It doesn't, you know, and nobody
wants to be talked about. So yeah, so that was basically
the two things I wanted to talk about.
Not much else for today. So I'm going to I'm going to
(43:35):
stop it here. And I feel like my schedule is
just all over the place because I skipped a week due to just
being stressed with my car issues.
So I know that before I was released an episode on Monday
and Friday and now it's just kind of all over the place.
So I will get that back on trackand I will get another guest on.
(43:58):
I don't know when. I've been trying to get Tiger to
come on for a while. But those of you that know Tiger
in real life, he's very shy. He is very observant, really
only talks to you if you talk tohim.
I mean, that's everybody else inthe world.
Me, he never shuts the fuck up. He's very comfortable with me.
(44:19):
But being comfortable with me but then being comfortable with
me with a camera on us or us being recorded is a very
different thing. So he is just still a little
like hesitant about it. And so I mean, it doesn't have
to be recorded episode. We can just do audio and maybe
(44:40):
he'll feel he'll he'll be a little more relaxed.
And then I also feel like I haveto prep him because he's so
politically incorrect and says alot of things that you should
not say. So I feel like I would just be
editing a lot of our dialogue out because he has no filter and
I have to constantly get after him with what he's what's OK to
(45:01):
say and what is offensive. So, but he is very funny, so
funny, funniest person I know. We have great conversations.
We have so much fun. So I just would like everybody
to see that. But yeah.
And then the car stuff has been a lot for both of us.
(45:22):
He's super stressed out, you know, he always wants to just
make thing, make sure everythingin my world is perfect and
running smoothly. So the fact that my car is
having issues is really bothering him because he never
wants anything to be wrong with me.
He never wants anybody to hurt me or anything to be stressing
(45:43):
me out. So Tiger in a nutshell, if you
broke his crayons in kindergarten, he fucking hates
you. He still fucking hates you.
He can hold a grudge forever, but if you broke my crowns in
kindergarten, he really fucking hates you and wants to like,
hunt you down and beat you up. So it doesn't matter to him.
(46:04):
I've had friends that I've had afalling out with and then I make
up with them and he's like, I don't care.
I still fucking hate them. Like they hurt you.
I hate them. And so yeah, so this car stuff,
it's just for both of us. But he also hates seeing his
wife upset. So I love him.
(46:24):
But yeah, one of these days I think I want to do like a
couples episode 'cause we have like couple card games.
Like couples card games. And so I really think it would
be fun to do that. But yeah, he's just, he needs to
be in a better space mentally and emotionally because he's
just really stressed out. So I feel like if I get him on
now, he's not going to be able to relax enough to just have a
(46:47):
good time and his real side comeout and him be funny and silly.
And yeah, so he would. He's just, he's camera shy.
So like everybody in our real life, nobody knows him on the
level that I do. He only gives everybody else
maybe 2% of who he is, where I get the whole unfiltered 100%.
(47:08):
And so, you know, I'd really like to be able to get at least
like 80% of that out for everybody to see.
But, you know, but yeah, so loveyou guys.
I appreciate you listening. I've appreciated the support
that I've been getting lately and the people that have been
reaching out to me, telling me that my podcast has been
(47:28):
resonating with them and that they really like it.
I I love hearing that. That makes me feel amazing.
And it motivates me to keep going that I'm, you know,
resonating with people and, you know, and, you know, hitting
them right in their fields. I guess because I've had people
(47:49):
contact me telling me that like,my episode made them cry or make
them tear up. And I'm not trying to purposely
do that. I'm just speaking my truth.
But I, I just appreciate, I've appreciated the people that have
reached out and sent me messagesand shared and liked my stuff.
I really appreciate it. So yeah, I just wanted to give a
(48:10):
special shout out to those people.
Like thank you so much whether I've haven't seen you in years
or not or talk to you in years I've run into at the store or
not, or if you're someone I've never even met in real life.
Like I I appreciate the support and all the sweet kind words so
but I'm going to end it here. As always, be fucking kind.
(48:32):
You don't know what people are going through.
You don't know if they attemptedto unalive themselves the night
before and it failed or whatever.
You don't know. You don't know what people are
going through, you don't. So just be kind.
I get it. We all have our days, we're
stressed out, we're annoyed, youknow, everybody may suck, but
(48:57):
still be kind. Be kind.
You have no idea the impact it'll have on somebody else.
No idea. So but thanks for listening and
this has been play with your Dick, not me.
And I will catch you guys in thenext one.
Bye.
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