#32 "Roaring with Compassion: discovering parenting styles"

So what do lions, and lambs have to do with parenting style?
How that parenting style affects children?
And how is that all relate to boundaries? 

Inspired by the book "Raising Lions" by Joe Newman, in this episode of the Playground Talks podcast, you will explore the different parenting styles (permissive, authoritative, and authoritarian) and the delicate balance between child autonomy and parental authority. 

Check out this short and sweet episode and hear the pitfalls of being too permissive or authoritarian and  the benefits of authoritative parenting. 

Additional resources:

• #31 The Art of Effective Parenting Communication!
• #24 Tammy afriat Interview in "Foreign-Born Mama" podcast host by Nurzhan Sterbenz; Discussing Parenting Styles, Setting Boundaries, Career Shifting, And Parenting In Different Culture!
• Types of Parenting Styles and Effects On Children (NCBI)

As a certified parent coach, I aim to help you set boundaries with compassion.
So grab your FREE Compassionate Parenting Guides now!

You can also:

• Join an ONLINE workshop
• Contact me
• Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and LinkedIn
• Learn how I can help you.

Remember to treat yourself and your children with compassion and curiosity. 🫶

Episode Transcript

Tammy (00:08):
Hello and welcome back to another empowering episode
of The Playground Talkspodcast, the go-to podcast
for busy parent who wants toown their parenting style.
I am Tammy Afriat yourhost and a mother of three.
And a passionate parent coach.
And I'm here to guideyou through the exciting
journey of raising confidentindependent Little Lion.

(00:31):
So today we actually divewhat parenting style means.
We're gonna explore thedelicate balance between child
autonomy and parent authority.
Inspired by the greatgreat book called Raising
Lions by Newman.
And I want to start byreflecting on this powerful

(00:55):
quote from this book.
So Joe Newman says,today's parent and teachers
are creating lions.
Current approaches toparenting and teaching.
Developed children who arestrong-willed, confident,
self-assured, and unafraidto speak their minds.
But while we arecreating lions, we are

(01:16):
behaving like lamps.
Our child wearing hasbecome overprotective.
And hypersensitive.
The problem is lambs cannoteffectively raise lions.
So I really resonate with thisquote and when I just starting
working with parents, I realizedthat one of the main issue.

(01:38):
That parents struggle withis actually visioning their
parenting style because,in previous generation,
the authoritarian stylewas more acceptable.
And today the pendulumhas shifted to the more
permissive parenting style.
And that's why Joan Newmansays that's not an effective

(02:01):
way to raise children.
So let's dive in and say, whatare those parenting styles?
And as I describe those, Iinvite you to think where do
you see yourself in a scalebetween being a permissive
parent, authoritative , parentor authoritarian parent?
And I want to tell you thateven for myself, I think

(02:24):
that there is a differenceeven for one child and being
more permissive, where.
For the other child and beingmore authoritarian And there
could be also differencesby the way you parent in
different areas of your life.
For example, you set moreclear boundaries around food,
but you are more permissivewhen it comes to screen time.

(02:44):
So I'm just saying thatthis is a scale that we
talk about and that might.
Changes from one area toyour life to another, and
from one kid to another.
So keep that in mind.
And I do wanna mention thatone of the resource have used
for this episode the N C B I.
National Library of Medicine.

(03:05):
this article that callstypes of parenting style and
effect on children was lastupdated September, 2022.
And I will attach this tothe show note if you want.
To have a look as well.
So let's dive in and startwith what is authoritarian
parent style look like?
So it means that theparents establish . Strict

(03:26):
rules without explanation.
that's kind of a oneway communication style.
So , the parent says somethingand he expects strict obedience
and compliance with theirchildren, leaving no room for
negotiation and even error.
So mistakes are often are metwith punishment and are not
welcome as a growth approach.

(03:49):
In this article, they saythat while children raise
under authoritarian, parentsmay appear well behaved
and capable of followinginstructions precisely.
They may also exhibit higherlevel of , aggression,
shyness, and an inability tomake independent decision.
So, as I mentioned before,punishing kids, yelling at them.

(04:12):
treating them aggressivelyare not expected
anymore, and that's why.
In a way, the pendulum hasshifted to be more permissive.
So once I heard that thereis the N word, and I was
like, what is the N word?
And so this parent toldme, ah, it's no, we're
not saying no to our kids.
And so those parent tobe permissive , which

(04:35):
is characterized byestablishing loose.
Or even no boundaries at all.
There is no clarity of what'sthe expectation from the child,
and Sometimes they act even morelike friends than parenting.
And they allow the childrento figure things out
for themselves and makelimited use of discipline.

(04:58):
So while children of permissiveparents may have some
self-esteem and decent socialskills, there are potential
drawbacks to these parentingstyles because limited rules
And the freedom given to thechildren extends to the decision
about bedtime, homework,screen time, can lead to the

(05:18):
development of negative habits,in addition, children of
permissive parents may exhibittraits such as impulsiveness,
demanding behavior, selfishness,and a lake of self-regulation.
So I hope that by thatpoint, You get what Joe is
trying to say, that beingeither pervasive parent or

(05:41):
authoritarian parent is not theideal way to rear your child.
So now let's describe what'sauthoritative parenting
means, so in authoritativeparenting, The parents establish
clear boundaries and there isa clarity around what's the
rules, what's the expectation,and also.

(06:03):
parents in the authoritativeparenting style,
communicate assertivelyand openly with the kids.
Leave the kids a room fornegotiation and asking question.
the parents also activelylistening to their children,
to their thoughts, theirfeeling, their opinions, and
they take into considerationthe and feel of the child.

(06:27):
So it's not.
A child driven permissiveparenting style, or it's not
just parent driven like youcan see in the authoritarian
parenting style, but it'sactually more mutually
respectful of need of everyperson in the household.
So what's happeningin those kind of.

(06:47):
Relationship is that the parentsdevelop close and nurturing
relationship with the children,providing clear guidelines,
and explaining the reasonsbehind disciplinary actions.
And the whole perspective isthat discipline is a form of
support rather than punishment.

(07:07):
This parenting styleleads to healthy outcomes
for children fosteringconfidence, responsibility and
self-regulation, and childrenof authoritative parents
effectively manage negativeemotions leading to better
social and emotional wellbeing.
And when we circle back tolambs raising lions, I think

(07:29):
the main question is how yougive this child autonomy while
keeping your parental authority?
And so this is somethingthat we will discuss in the
next episode, so stay tuned.
However, in the meanwhile,as a wrap up to this episode,
I encourage you to reflecton your own parenting style.

(07:53):
Are you behavinglike a lamp, avoiding
conflict with your kids?
Afraid of saying no, and settingand holding the boundaries.
Or are you setting verystrict and flexible boundaries
and you find yourself manytimes in a power struggle?
So we will touch in the nextepisode how to set boundaries

(08:16):
and how to recognize whenthat's actually a power struggle
and you're not setting aboundary or holding a boundary.
I invite you if you need.
Extra support and you findyourself exhausted from being
a parent or not confident ofwhat do you do and how to do it.
I invite you to leaveme a message or book a

(08:39):
30 minutes free call.
All the links areinto show note,
so thanks for joining.
The Playground Talks podcast,I hope you now feel empowered
and you can start envisionwhat parent Parenting styled.
You want to embrace Untilthe next episode, treat

(09:02):
yourself and your kids withcompassion and curiosity.
Bye.