July 17, 2025 • 22 mins
Ever scroll through an Instagram feed and hit "unfollow" without thinking twice? Why is it so much harder to do the same in real life? This episode tackles the radical art of real-life unfollowing – giving you permission to outgrow relationships, jobs, expectations, and even versions of yourself that no longer serve you.
With characteristic candor and compassion, I share my personal journey of outgrowing a friendship built on Olympic-level complaining and the grief that came with recognizing when something once treasured no longer fits. You'll discover practical signs that it might be time to unfollow someone or something: feeling small after interactions, dreading meetups, inability to be authentic, and that telling physical discomfort your body uses to signal misalignment.
We're not just talking about friendships. From the comparison trap on social media to soul-crushing hustle culture that glorifies burnout ("Because nothing says 'I'm doing great' like crying in the car between meetings"), this episode breaks down all the things worthy of your unfollow – including outdated expectations of who you "should" be and advice that once served you but now constrains you.
For my fellow recovering people-pleasers, hear this message loud and clear: kindness is not the same as self-abandonment. You can respect someone deeply and still decide their energy no longer serves you. You can have history with a job, friend, or mentor and still walk away without guilt. Unfollowing isn't rejection – it's redirection toward what's aligned with who you're becoming.
Ready to scroll through your life like it's your feed and decide what deserves to stay? This episode gives you both permission and practical steps to make space for what truly fills your cup. Because defining what you don't want makes more room for what you do want – and that's where your mojo truly shines.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
here's your friendly reminder you're allowed to
outgrow people, jobs, groupchats and even the person that
you used to be this week onpocket full of mojo.
We're talking about the radicalart of the real life unfollow,
because not everyone who clapsfor you has your back and not
everything that once fit stillbelongs in your closet,
(00:32):
literally, metaphorically.
We're going to unpack it allAgain, both with the literal and
the metaphorical.
So, whether it's your cousin,your co-worker or that
motivational account thatsecretly makes you feel like
crap, we're naming it, claimingit and letting it go.
And our mantra of the week I'mchoosing peace over pleasing.
(00:54):
Let's go find your peace andget tuned in, tapped in and
turned on.
Hey, my clever, kind and sassysouls, welcome back to Pocketful
Mojo, where we shake off theshoulds and snatch back your
(01:15):
spark and finally start livinglife like we mean it.
I'm Steph, your Mojo Maven,recovering people pleaser and
sitting president of DoingWhatever I Want.
Recovering people pleaser andsitting president of Doing
Whatever I Want, which includesthis podcast.
So thanks for being here Now.
Today's episode is one youdidn't know you needed until
right now.
We're talking about how tounfollow people in real life.
(01:39):
I know a little spicy, right,but listen, just like you can
mute someone on Instagramwithout starting a war, you can
do the same thing in your actuallife and you're allowed to so
segment one.
We're calling the permissionslip.
Let's start here.
You are allowed to change,you're allowed to grow, and
(02:01):
sometimes that growth comes withgrief, because when you start
to get to know yourself better,really tune in to what fuels you
, what excites you, what honorsyou, you might notice that not
everything or everyone that youonce leaned on fits anymore.
And that's not mean, it's notselfish, it's just evolution,
(02:22):
baby.
I want to give you a quick story.
A few years ago I had a closefriend who I genuinely adored.
We bonded over complaining likeOlympic-level rants and at the
time it felt like a connection.
It was this sisterly, bitchykind of alter ego I had when I
(02:43):
was around her.
But the deeper I got into myown personal growth as time went
on, the more I noticed I'dleave those catch-ups feeling
heavy, like my soul needed ashower, like I had to be a
different person around her,someone that I wasn't anymore.
And still I stayed friends fora while because I didn't want to
be rude and it's not likesomething happened and I didn't
(03:05):
want to be too sensitive and Ididn't really know how to put
words to it, and I definitelydidn't want to lose someone that
I once loved.
But here's the truth Justbecause someone met a need once
doesn't mean that they're meantto stay forever.
Sometimes we outgrow the lesson, sometimes we outgrow the
person, and it's okay tounfollow with love.
(03:29):
So what does that mean?
What does unfollow in real lifeeven mean?
So let's break this down.
To unfollow someone in reallife, it doesn't mean a dramatic
bridge burning scene where youstorm out and slam the door and
there's some cool theme musicplaying.
It could mean just seeing themless often or consciously
(03:53):
setting a new boundary withyourself and just paying
attention to how much mentalweight their opinions really
take up.
So it really depends on thedynamic.
Maybe it just means stoppingthe hustle to earn their
approval Slay, and this doesn'tjust apply to people.
You can unfollow the followingthings that I will outline in a
(04:15):
segment I like to call the quotecomparison is the thief of joy
is a polite way of saying.
Comparison can fuck right off,because that's the energy we
need to bring to comparison fromhere on out.
Because, ladies and gentlemenand everyone in between.
No one is you, not a singleperson out there has exactly
(04:36):
what you have, knows exactlywhat you know and has lived what
you've lived in the time thatyou've lived it, not even close.
So with that in mind, we'llstart with the obvious Social
media accounts that trigger youinto thinking about all the
things that you're not, but notin an aspirational or an
inspirational kind of way.
(04:57):
If you follow an account or aperson or a celebrity that even
nibbles at your mojo, or acelebrity that even nibbles at
your mojo, it's gotta go.
Comparison can fuck right off.
Coming in at number two olddreams that no longer fit your
spirit.
You want to put down theknitting needles and join a
(05:18):
roller derby group?
Done, it's that easy.
You get to choose what you dowith your time, and the best
reason to do it is because youfeel like it.
No, dust off that old visionboard and toss it in the fire
pit Responsibly.
Seriously, these wildfires arenot fucking around.
But back to your dreams.
Do not wait to update your biggoals and start working on them
(05:40):
immediately.
It's time well spent, I promise, and having goals that fire you
up is way better than havingdreams that are collecting dust.
I can't believe I have to sellyou on this.
On to number three, and it's abit of a hot take, and I take
zero responsibility for yourchoices, but I'm just here to
remind you that you have somechoices.
(06:03):
Number three on the list ofpropaganda that I'm not falling
for is jobs that pay well butcost you your peace.
Look, friends, I love work.
I'm no slouch.
I worked my ass off incorporate for 15 years.
It was literally my identity ata certain point.
My work ethic has always beenstrong and my ambition monster
(06:25):
is a beast.
But if I could put my hands onthe shoulders of 23-year-old
Steph and give her one piece ofadvice because the genie gave me
a wish to go see my youngerself and there was like terms
and conditions or whatever I'dsay work doesn't matter as much
as you think it does, get somehobbies, get some friends.
(06:48):
But there'd be like commasinstead of periods, so it would
be like a run on sentence sothat it could be a loophole with
the terms and conditions of thegenie or whatever.
But my point is, if all you'redoing with your life in this
moment is going from workclothes to pajamas, then, babe,
you're not really living and Isay this with respect and love
(07:10):
and no judgment, because trulyit takes one to know one.
And if this doesn't apply toyou and you've already figured
it out, then I owe you a highfive.
But I'm just asking you toconsider what role does work
play in your life?
And did you sign a contractsomewhere to make other people's
dreams come true and give yourbest stuff away for what I
(07:30):
assume is a fraction of youractual financial value and an
enormous slice of your time andenergy?
That's all I'm saying.
Okay, so, now that we're allfired up, I've got three more
powerful real life things thatyou can unfollow and should
strongly consider if you'rereclaiming your mojo.
Consider what your life wouldbe like if you broke up with the
(07:52):
old expectations of who youshould be.
Because, babe, we change andit's possible that there's an
outdated version of you whonever rocked the boat, who
always smiled and stayed smalland didn't take up any space.
That version of you unfollow.
She served a purpose.
(08:12):
We love her, but she's notinvited to this next chapter.
So do we love her?
Sure, was she doing the bestthat she could?
Absolutely, but we know morenow.
We've grown, we're blooming,we're ready to say what we think
and have ideas and take action.
Rocking the boat.
It's kind of rock and roll ifyou do it right, and boundaries
(08:32):
are very badass when you seethem in action and the old you.
They were great, but we'vedecided to go in a different
direction, so it's time to makesome room Next up, ditching the
good advice that no longeraligns Now.
As a Capricorn, I am no strangerto loyalty, so when I like
something, I tend to hang on toit for a long time.
(08:54):
But we also know that we growand we learn and we evolve and
we change, so what we need alsochanges.
So when it comes to the advicethat we seek out and the input
that we align ourselves with,like who we watch on YouTube or
follow on social media, orcoaches that we use or follow or
(09:15):
subscribe and so on, it's okayto shake it up sometimes that
you used to swear by, if it'smaking you feel even shades of
ashamed or stuck or like there'sonly one right way to grow.
That's an unfollow, becausewisdom evolves and so do you
(09:38):
Like me wanting to give thatadvice to 23-year-old me?
If somebody gave me that advicetoday, I'd be like yeah, I know
, which links nicely into ourlast goodbye Hustle culture and
overachiever energy, constantlytrying to prove your worth
(10:02):
through output and burnout.
Good, introducing Hustle Culture, the lifestyle brand that says
sleep is for the weak,boundaries are for quitters and
burnout is a badge of honor.
Why rest when you can set 37goals before sunrise?
Why feel joy when you couldchase external validation until
(10:24):
your eye twitches?
With Hustle Culture, you'll geta complimentary side of guilt
anytime you sit down.
Thank you, but wait, there'smore.
(10:44):
Join now and we'll throw incolor-coded calendars that
you'll never stick to, aperformance review from your
inner critic and the crushinginability to enjoy a vacation
without your laptop.
Hustle culture Because nothingsays I'm doing great, like
crying in the car betweenmeetings.
(11:06):
Doing great like crying in thecar between meetings.
Or you could just unsubscribeand try joy instead.
Because rest, joy, ease.
These aren't luxuries, they'rerequirements for long-term
success, and I am here, ifnothing, for long-term success,
(11:32):
and I am here if nothing forlong-term success.
I can't even begin to tell youabout all the things that I've
got cooking, my friend, but Ican tell you this Candidly it's
been a struggle lately to do allthe things, to do the hustling,
to do the do it, whether youfeel like it or not, because I
was really on fire.
I'd gotten six weeks worth ofwork done in four weeks.
My dad was stable.
(11:53):
I had a really long stretch athome because my brother went up
to Church Hill.
So I used my crystal ball ofwisdom and was like me thinks
I'm going to want slash need abreak after being on dad duty
24-7, mostly for two weeksstraight.
So I booked myself a ticket toCalgary to see some friends and
(12:15):
my brother would be home for allthe caregiver duties.
Four nights into my five nightsaway, my brother texted our
team dad group chat and therehad been a fall, long story
short.
An ambulance was on its way andI'm not sure you'd believe me
if I told you every time thatI'd been away from the house and
something has happened with dad.
(12:36):
It's beyond coincidence if youbelieve in that kind of thing.
Anywho Pops has been in thehospital for 13 days now, and
I'll spare you the details.
But I mean 13 days now.
And I'll spare you the details,but I mean he old, he's got a
chronic case of being 86.
And I'm going to make the mostof my time as his daughter,
slash, caregiver while I can,until I can't.
(13:02):
And if you want a picture of mydad, I'd say he's a pretty good
blend of Ned Flanders, grandpaSimpson and Mr Burns.
All this to say that myquote-unquote productivity
lately has not been in directalignment with my timelines and
my goals and my soullessambition monster is furious with
my situation.
But this is my choice.
These are my choices for now,because nothing is forever.
(13:26):
But this podcast, thiscommitment to myself, despite it
all, thanks to it all, is agreat touchstone for me to show
up for my goals, to help mefocus on what is in my control
and also to practice some grace,to rest without guilt, to
adjust my timelines, to say yesto being a potato in bed tonight
(13:48):
.
And what I've learned as I'venow soothed myself through a
situation or two, as I'm sureyou have too, is that the more I
indulge in the indulgence ofrest and recovery, the faster
and stronger I bounce back.
And the more I put my head down, power through, faster and
(14:09):
stronger I bounce back.
And the more I put my head down, power through and ignore my
true feelings and what I'mauthentically living, the faster
I find crippling depression andburnout.
And maybe it's just me, but Ihope that that road never finds
you.
So that's my mojo moment foryou.
I unfollowed the hustle andgrind in order to honor my peace
and engage my resilience Period.
(14:29):
So let's get super practical.
Let's take a look at how tospot a real life unfollow.
So grab a pen or take a mentalnote.
Here are five signs that itmight be time to unfollow
someone or something.
Number one you feel small afterinteracting with them, not
challenged per se and certainlynot called higher, just kind of
(14:52):
shrunk.
Number two you dread it but youshow up anyway, whether it's a
coffee date or a Zoom call orscrolling through that one
influencer's feed.
If it feels like a chore, it'stelling you something, but you
got to pay attention.
Number three you feel like youcan't be fully you.
(15:12):
Maybe you catch yourselfediting your words or just kind
of nodding politely orminimizing your wins to preserve
their feelings, or sayingsomething and then bracing for
judgment.
I never got time for that.
And number four this one camewhen I was talking to a friend
as I was researching thisepisode and she said I pay super
(15:35):
close attention to myself.
If I replay the interaction inmy head after I was like oh yeah
, that's a good one.
Like, if they're taking upspace after you leave an
interaction, what are youreplaying?
Why are you replaying it Like,are you rewriting what you
should have said?
Are you going in circles aboutwhat they said, what you said?
(15:55):
What does that mean?
No circles about what they said, what you said?
What does that mean?
This is your nervous systemspeaking and that's wisdom, babe
.
So you got to listen to that.
Keep pulling that thread and tryto figure out what it is about
your interaction with them thatleaves you doubting yourself and
maybe take a beat before seeingthem again until you've got an
idea where that ick came from,because this is a big one.
(16:17):
Your body gives you clues Tightchest, knotted stomach, dry
mouth.
Pay attention, your intuitionlives in the physical body, and
not just for the unfollows,because as you unfollow, you
become more of a magnet for thethings that you do want to
follow, because you've got abetter idea of what it looks
(16:39):
like.
Defining what you don't wantmakes more room for what you do
want.
That's kind of the headlinehere, but I made you listen for
20 minutes before giving it away.
You gorgeous, diehard you.
So, yeah, body knows, listenthe better your relationship
with that amazing body, miraclemachine of yours, the better
(17:00):
your life will be, definitely.
Now let's get practical.
How to do the unfollow?
Well, let's say you'veidentified something or someone
that you're ready to unfollow.
What do I do now?
Let's walk through it step bystep.
First step you got to check inwith your truth.
Ask yourself what's the cost ofstaying connected to this?
(17:22):
What tax am I paying bycontinuing to participate?
And then, what do I gain if Istep away?
Is it peace of mind?
Is it time?
Is it better vibrations?
Whatever, that is for you,clarity gives you courage To do
the next step.
Number two choose your type ofunfollow, because not every
(17:42):
unfollow needs to be loud.
Here's some options the quietfade, you just see them.
Less you say, less you do, less, don't initiate.
See what happens.
And then there's the softboundary.
So, like if you think back tothe girl that I used to have the
bitch club with, there's got tobe other parts to her and other
things that we have in common.
(18:03):
So if it goes down the bitchtalk road, I can just say like
hey, you know what, I'm tryingthis new thing and I'm not
available for that kind of talkanymore.
Let's keep it lighter.
That doesn't sound mean and itmay take them a beat to process,
but if it's good and you've gotthings in common, you'll find
your way back to each other.
And then there's just theconscious goodbye I care about
(18:25):
you, but our connection justdoesn't feel aligned anymore,
kind of a you do, you, I'mpiecing out energy, but you
don't owe an explanation forevery change, but you do owe
yourself peace.
So if this feels like a bit ofheavy lifting, it's temporary
and you'll feel better on theother side.
But we're not done, because thethird step is to fill the space
(18:47):
with something better.
This is the fun part, becauseonce you unfollow what drains
you, you make room for whatfuels you.
So ask yourself what peoplelight me up, call them, go for
lunch, what kind of communitiesmake me feel safe.
Find out their next meetup.
Then you can audit your onlinetime, what online spaces reflect
(19:11):
the kind of energy that I wantmore of, and then you can fill
your feed and your life withmore of that, because you made
all that space doing the springcleaning by unfollowing all the
things.
Okay, deep breath.
Let me speak directly to therecovering people.
Pleasers out there, my people.
If you've been bending andtwisting, minimizing or
(19:35):
performing to keep arelationship alive, I see you.
You've been told that beingkind means being available, that
loving others means giving uppieces of yourself.
That's not love, that'smartyrdom.
So here's your reminderKindness is not the same as
(19:56):
self-abandonment.
You can love someone deeply andstill decide that they're not
good for you anymore.
You can respect someone andstill unfollow their advice.
You can have history with a jobor a friend, a mentor, and
still walk away without guilt.
Unfollowing is not rejection,it's redirection.
(20:18):
Redirection toward what'saligned, toward what you're
becoming, toward a version ofyou that knows their worth.
So this week I want you to trysomething.
Scroll through your life likeit's your feed.
Ask yourself what no longerinspires me, what makes me feel
(20:38):
less than what?
Did I choose out of fear orobligation?
And then give yourselfpermission to unfollow, mute,
pause, unsubscribe, step back.
You're not mean, you're notdramatic.
You don't even need to tellanyone what you're doing.
They don't care Probably.
Just make the decision withyourself, for yourself, and let
(21:03):
life unfold from there.
Less is more.
You're just making space foryour mojo to breathe.
All right, my friend, that is awrap for Pocketful Emojo.
If this episode lit something upin you, remember, confidence
isn't loud, it's yours.
And if this hit home, would youdo me a solid?
(21:24):
Share it with your people.
Leave a review or tag me inyour own real life unfollow
journey.
Just don't unfollow me, okay,thanks, and remember your life
doesn't have to impress anyoneelse, but it does need to feel
good in your bones and you don'tneed to become someone new.
Just come back to you and, hey,if you're ready to boost your
(21:49):
energy, focus and get shit donewith less stress and more
sparkle, you've gotta try myMojo gummies.
They're packed with brainloving, mood boosting goodness
and honestly, they're theeasiest.
Yes, in your self care routineyou can even grab 15% off.
I got a link in the show notes.
So go treat your nervous system, boo, you deserve it.
(22:10):
And then we're going to see younext time when we talk about
how the real flex is emotionalstability.
As always, don't shrink, don'tsettle.
Take up space and stay sparkly.
Ciao for now.
Love you, noice.
here's your friendly reminder you're allowed to
outgrow people, jobs, groupchats and even the person that
you used to be this week onpocket full of mojo.
We're talking about the radicalart of the real life unfollow,
because not everyone who clapsfor you has your back and not
everything that once fit stillbelongs in your closet,
(00:32):
literally, metaphorically.
We're going to unpack it allAgain, both with the literal and
the metaphorical.
So, whether it's your cousin,your co-worker or that
motivational account thatsecretly makes you feel like
crap, we're naming it, claimingit and letting it go.
And our mantra of the week I'mchoosing peace over pleasing.
(00:54):
Let's go find your peace andget tuned in, tapped in and
turned on.
Hey, my clever, kind and sassysouls, welcome back to Pocketful
Mojo, where we shake off theshoulds and snatch back your
(01:15):
spark and finally start livinglife like we mean it.
I'm Steph, your Mojo Maven,recovering people pleaser and
sitting president of DoingWhatever I Want.
Recovering people pleaser andsitting president of Doing
Whatever I Want, which includesthis podcast.
So thanks for being here Now.
Today's episode is one youdidn't know you needed until
right now.
We're talking about how tounfollow people in real life.
(01:39):
I know a little spicy, right,but listen, just like you can
mute someone on Instagramwithout starting a war, you can
do the same thing in your actuallife and you're allowed to so
segment one.
We're calling the permissionslip.
Let's start here.
You are allowed to change,you're allowed to grow, and
(02:01):
sometimes that growth comes withgrief, because when you start
to get to know yourself better,really tune in to what fuels you
, what excites you, what honorsyou, you might notice that not
everything or everyone that youonce leaned on fits anymore.
And that's not mean, it's notselfish, it's just evolution,
(02:22):
baby.
I want to give you a quick story.
A few years ago I had a closefriend who I genuinely adored.
We bonded over complaining likeOlympic-level rants and at the
time it felt like a connection.
It was this sisterly, bitchykind of alter ego I had when I
(02:43):
was around her.
But the deeper I got into myown personal growth as time went
on, the more I noticed I'dleave those catch-ups feeling
heavy, like my soul needed ashower, like I had to be a
different person around her,someone that I wasn't anymore.
And still I stayed friends fora while because I didn't want to
be rude and it's not likesomething happened and I didn't
(03:05):
want to be too sensitive and Ididn't really know how to put
words to it, and I definitelydidn't want to lose someone that
I once loved.
But here's the truth Justbecause someone met a need once
doesn't mean that they're meantto stay forever.
Sometimes we outgrow the lesson, sometimes we outgrow the
person, and it's okay tounfollow with love.
(03:29):
So what does that mean?
What does unfollow in real lifeeven mean?
So let's break this down.
To unfollow someone in reallife, it doesn't mean a dramatic
bridge burning scene where youstorm out and slam the door and
there's some cool theme musicplaying.
It could mean just seeing themless often or consciously
(03:53):
setting a new boundary withyourself and just paying
attention to how much mentalweight their opinions really
take up.
So it really depends on thedynamic.
Maybe it just means stoppingthe hustle to earn their
approval Slay, and this doesn'tjust apply to people.
You can unfollow the followingthings that I will outline in a
(04:15):
segment I like to call the quotecomparison is the thief of joy
is a polite way of saying.
Comparison can fuck right off,because that's the energy we
need to bring to comparison fromhere on out.
Because, ladies and gentlemenand everyone in between.
No one is you, not a singleperson out there has exactly
(04:36):
what you have, knows exactlywhat you know and has lived what
you've lived in the time thatyou've lived it, not even close.
So with that in mind, we'llstart with the obvious Social
media accounts that trigger youinto thinking about all the
things that you're not, but notin an aspirational or an
inspirational kind of way.
(04:57):
If you follow an account or aperson or a celebrity that even
nibbles at your mojo, or acelebrity that even nibbles at
your mojo, it's gotta go.
Comparison can fuck right off.
Coming in at number two olddreams that no longer fit your
spirit.
You want to put down theknitting needles and join a
(05:18):
roller derby group?
Done, it's that easy.
You get to choose what you dowith your time, and the best
reason to do it is because youfeel like it.
No, dust off that old visionboard and toss it in the fire
pit Responsibly.
Seriously, these wildfires arenot fucking around.
But back to your dreams.
Do not wait to update your biggoals and start working on them
(05:40):
immediately.
It's time well spent, I promise, and having goals that fire you
up is way better than havingdreams that are collecting dust.
I can't believe I have to sellyou on this.
On to number three, and it's abit of a hot take, and I take
zero responsibility for yourchoices, but I'm just here to
remind you that you have somechoices.
(06:03):
Number three on the list ofpropaganda that I'm not falling
for is jobs that pay well butcost you your peace.
Look, friends, I love work.
I'm no slouch.
I worked my ass off incorporate for 15 years.
It was literally my identity ata certain point.
My work ethic has always beenstrong and my ambition monster
(06:25):
is a beast.
But if I could put my hands onthe shoulders of 23-year-old
Steph and give her one piece ofadvice because the genie gave me
a wish to go see my youngerself and there was like terms
and conditions or whatever I'dsay work doesn't matter as much
as you think it does, get somehobbies, get some friends.
(06:48):
But there'd be like commasinstead of periods, so it would
be like a run on sentence sothat it could be a loophole with
the terms and conditions of thegenie or whatever.
But my point is, if all you'redoing with your life in this
moment is going from workclothes to pajamas, then, babe,
you're not really living and Isay this with respect and love
(07:10):
and no judgment, because trulyit takes one to know one.
And if this doesn't apply toyou and you've already figured
it out, then I owe you a highfive.
But I'm just asking you toconsider what role does work
play in your life?
And did you sign a contractsomewhere to make other people's
dreams come true and give yourbest stuff away for what I
(07:30):
assume is a fraction of youractual financial value and an
enormous slice of your time andenergy?
That's all I'm saying.
Okay, so, now that we're allfired up, I've got three more
powerful real life things thatyou can unfollow and should
strongly consider if you'rereclaiming your mojo.
Consider what your life wouldbe like if you broke up with the
(07:52):
old expectations of who youshould be.
Because, babe, we change andit's possible that there's an
outdated version of you whonever rocked the boat, who
always smiled and stayed smalland didn't take up any space.
That version of you unfollow.
She served a purpose.
(08:12):
We love her, but she's notinvited to this next chapter.
So do we love her?
Sure, was she doing the bestthat she could?
Absolutely, but we know morenow.
We've grown, we're blooming,we're ready to say what we think
and have ideas and take action.
Rocking the boat.
It's kind of rock and roll ifyou do it right, and boundaries
(08:32):
are very badass when you seethem in action and the old you.
They were great, but we'vedecided to go in a different
direction, so it's time to makesome room Next up, ditching the
good advice that no longeraligns Now.
As a Capricorn, I am no strangerto loyalty, so when I like
something, I tend to hang on toit for a long time.
(08:54):
But we also know that we growand we learn and we evolve and
we change, so what we need alsochanges.
So when it comes to the advicethat we seek out and the input
that we align ourselves with,like who we watch on YouTube or
follow on social media, orcoaches that we use or follow or
(09:15):
subscribe and so on, it's okayto shake it up sometimes that
you used to swear by, if it'smaking you feel even shades of
ashamed or stuck or like there'sonly one right way to grow.
That's an unfollow, becausewisdom evolves and so do you
(09:38):
Like me wanting to give thatadvice to 23-year-old me?
If somebody gave me that advicetoday, I'd be like yeah, I know
, which links nicely into ourlast goodbye Hustle culture and
overachiever energy, constantlytrying to prove your worth
(10:02):
through output and burnout.
Good, introducing Hustle Culture, the lifestyle brand that says
sleep is for the weak,boundaries are for quitters and
burnout is a badge of honor.
Why rest when you can set 37goals before sunrise?
Why feel joy when you couldchase external validation until
(10:24):
your eye twitches?
With Hustle Culture, you'll geta complimentary side of guilt
anytime you sit down.
Thank you, but wait, there'smore.
(10:44):
Join now and we'll throw incolor-coded calendars that
you'll never stick to, aperformance review from your
inner critic and the crushinginability to enjoy a vacation
without your laptop.
Hustle culture Because nothingsays I'm doing great, like
crying in the car betweenmeetings.
(11:06):
Doing great like crying in thecar between meetings.
Or you could just unsubscribeand try joy instead.
Because rest, joy, ease.
These aren't luxuries, they'rerequirements for long-term
success, and I am here, ifnothing, for long-term success,
(11:32):
and I am here if nothing forlong-term success.
I can't even begin to tell youabout all the things that I've
got cooking, my friend, but Ican tell you this Candidly it's
been a struggle lately to do allthe things, to do the hustling,
to do the do it, whether youfeel like it or not, because I
was really on fire.
I'd gotten six weeks worth ofwork done in four weeks.
My dad was stable.
(11:53):
I had a really long stretch athome because my brother went up
to Church Hill.
So I used my crystal ball ofwisdom and was like me thinks
I'm going to want slash need abreak after being on dad duty
24-7, mostly for two weeksstraight.
So I booked myself a ticket toCalgary to see some friends and
(12:15):
my brother would be home for allthe caregiver duties.
Four nights into my five nightsaway, my brother texted our
team dad group chat and therehad been a fall, long story
short.
An ambulance was on its way andI'm not sure you'd believe me
if I told you every time thatI'd been away from the house and
something has happened with dad.
(12:36):
It's beyond coincidence if youbelieve in that kind of thing.
Anywho Pops has been in thehospital for 13 days now, and
I'll spare you the details.
But I mean 13 days now.
And I'll spare you the details,but I mean he old, he's got a
chronic case of being 86.
And I'm going to make the mostof my time as his daughter,
slash, caregiver while I can,until I can't.
(13:02):
And if you want a picture of mydad, I'd say he's a pretty good
blend of Ned Flanders, grandpaSimpson and Mr Burns.
All this to say that myquote-unquote productivity
lately has not been in directalignment with my timelines and
my goals and my soullessambition monster is furious with
my situation.
But this is my choice.
These are my choices for now,because nothing is forever.
(13:26):
But this podcast, thiscommitment to myself, despite it
all, thanks to it all, is agreat touchstone for me to show
up for my goals, to help mefocus on what is in my control
and also to practice some grace,to rest without guilt, to
adjust my timelines, to say yesto being a potato in bed tonight
(13:48):
.
And what I've learned as I'venow soothed myself through a
situation or two, as I'm sureyou have too, is that the more I
indulge in the indulgence ofrest and recovery, the faster
and stronger I bounce back.
And the more I put my head down, power through, faster and
(14:09):
stronger I bounce back.
And the more I put my head down, power through and ignore my
true feelings and what I'mauthentically living, the faster
I find crippling depression andburnout.
And maybe it's just me, but Ihope that that road never finds
you.
So that's my mojo moment foryou.
I unfollowed the hustle andgrind in order to honor my peace
and engage my resilience Period.
(14:29):
So let's get super practical.
Let's take a look at how tospot a real life unfollow.
So grab a pen or take a mentalnote.
Here are five signs that itmight be time to unfollow
someone or something.
Number one you feel small afterinteracting with them, not
challenged per se and certainlynot called higher, just kind of
(14:52):
shrunk.
Number two you dread it but youshow up anyway, whether it's a
coffee date or a Zoom call orscrolling through that one
influencer's feed.
If it feels like a chore, it'stelling you something, but you
got to pay attention.
Number three you feel like youcan't be fully you.
(15:12):
Maybe you catch yourselfediting your words or just kind
of nodding politely orminimizing your wins to preserve
their feelings, or sayingsomething and then bracing for
judgment.
I never got time for that.
And number four this one camewhen I was talking to a friend
as I was researching thisepisode and she said I pay super
(15:35):
close attention to myself.
If I replay the interaction inmy head after I was like oh yeah
, that's a good one.
Like, if they're taking upspace after you leave an
interaction, what are youreplaying?
Why are you replaying it Like,are you rewriting what you
should have said?
Are you going in circles aboutwhat they said, what you said?
(15:55):
What does that mean?
No circles about what they said, what you said?
What does that mean?
This is your nervous systemspeaking and that's wisdom, babe
.
So you got to listen to that.
Keep pulling that thread and tryto figure out what it is about
your interaction with them thatleaves you doubting yourself and
maybe take a beat before seeingthem again until you've got an
idea where that ick came from,because this is a big one.
(16:17):
Your body gives you clues Tightchest, knotted stomach, dry
mouth.
Pay attention, your intuitionlives in the physical body, and
not just for the unfollows,because as you unfollow, you
become more of a magnet for thethings that you do want to
follow, because you've got abetter idea of what it looks
(16:39):
like.
Defining what you don't wantmakes more room for what you do
want.
That's kind of the headlinehere, but I made you listen for
20 minutes before giving it away.
You gorgeous, diehard you.
So, yeah, body knows, listenthe better your relationship
with that amazing body, miraclemachine of yours, the better
(17:00):
your life will be, definitely.
Now let's get practical.
How to do the unfollow?
Well, let's say you'veidentified something or someone
that you're ready to unfollow.
What do I do now?
Let's walk through it step bystep.
First step you got to check inwith your truth.
Ask yourself what's the cost ofstaying connected to this?
(17:22):
What tax am I paying bycontinuing to participate?
And then, what do I gain if Istep away?
Is it peace of mind?
Is it time?
Is it better vibrations?
Whatever, that is for you,clarity gives you courage To do
the next step.
Number two choose your type ofunfollow, because not every
(17:42):
unfollow needs to be loud.
Here's some options the quietfade, you just see them.
Less you say, less you do, less, don't initiate.
See what happens.
And then there's the softboundary.
So, like if you think back tothe girl that I used to have the
bitch club with, there's got tobe other parts to her and other
things that we have in common.
(18:03):
So if it goes down the bitchtalk road, I can just say like
hey, you know what, I'm tryingthis new thing and I'm not
available for that kind of talkanymore.
Let's keep it lighter.
That doesn't sound mean and itmay take them a beat to process,
but if it's good and you've gotthings in common, you'll find
your way back to each other.
And then there's just theconscious goodbye I care about
(18:25):
you, but our connection justdoesn't feel aligned anymore,
kind of a you do, you, I'mpiecing out energy, but you
don't owe an explanation forevery change, but you do owe
yourself peace.
So if this feels like a bit ofheavy lifting, it's temporary
and you'll feel better on theother side.
But we're not done, because thethird step is to fill the space
(18:47):
with something better.
This is the fun part, becauseonce you unfollow what drains
you, you make room for whatfuels you.
So ask yourself what peoplelight me up, call them, go for
lunch, what kind of communitiesmake me feel safe.
Find out their next meetup.
Then you can audit your onlinetime, what online spaces reflect
(19:11):
the kind of energy that I wantmore of, and then you can fill
your feed and your life withmore of that, because you made
all that space doing the springcleaning by unfollowing all the
things.
Okay, deep breath.
Let me speak directly to therecovering people.
Pleasers out there, my people.
If you've been bending andtwisting, minimizing or
(19:35):
performing to keep arelationship alive, I see you.
You've been told that beingkind means being available, that
loving others means giving uppieces of yourself.
That's not love, that'smartyrdom.
So here's your reminderKindness is not the same as
(19:56):
self-abandonment.
You can love someone deeply andstill decide that they're not
good for you anymore.
You can respect someone andstill unfollow their advice.
You can have history with a jobor a friend, a mentor, and
still walk away without guilt.
Unfollowing is not rejection,it's redirection.
(20:18):
Redirection toward what'saligned, toward what you're
becoming, toward a version ofyou that knows their worth.
So this week I want you to trysomething.
Scroll through your life likeit's your feed.
Ask yourself what no longerinspires me, what makes me feel
(20:38):
less than what?
Did I choose out of fear orobligation?
And then give yourselfpermission to unfollow, mute,
pause, unsubscribe, step back.
You're not mean, you're notdramatic.
You don't even need to tellanyone what you're doing.
They don't care Probably.
Just make the decision withyourself, for yourself, and let
(21:03):
life unfold from there.
Less is more.
You're just making space foryour mojo to breathe.
All right, my friend, that is awrap for Pocketful Emojo.
If this episode lit something upin you, remember, confidence
isn't loud, it's yours.
And if this hit home, would youdo me a solid?
(21:24):
Share it with your people.
Leave a review or tag me inyour own real life unfollow
journey.
Just don't unfollow me, okay,thanks, and remember your life
doesn't have to impress anyoneelse, but it does need to feel
good in your bones and you don'tneed to become someone new.
Just come back to you and, hey,if you're ready to boost your
(21:49):
energy, focus and get shit donewith less stress and more
sparkle, you've gotta try myMojo gummies.
They're packed with brainloving, mood boosting goodness
and honestly, they're theeasiest.
Yes, in your self care routineyou can even grab 15% off.
I got a link in the show notes.
So go treat your nervous system, boo, you deserve it.
(22:10):
And then we're going to see younext time when we talk about
how the real flex is emotionalstability.
As always, don't shrink, don'tsettle.
Take up space and stay sparkly.
Ciao for now.
Love you, noice.
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