December 11, 2025 • 25 mins
Celebration isn’t extra; it’s essential. We unpack why so many of us learned to shrink our joy—thanks to stay-humble conditioning, perfectionist rules, and a lingering pandemic hangover—and how that habit quietly steals motivation, confidence, and connection. If you’ve ever skipped your own wins, mumbled through a birthday, or dreaded New Year’s because of the pressure to perform, this conversation hands you the tools to rewrite your ritual.
We dig into the psychology behind downplaying success, including the jinx myth and the fear of visibility that makes receiving love feel risky. Then we trace how COVID rewired our social stamina and turned loud milestones into quiet whispers, leaving many of us celebrating from the sidelines. You’ll hear clear signs of celebration deprivation—lower dopamine, fragile confidence, and low joy tolerance—and learn how to rebuild your “joy muscle” with small, repeatable actions that make big change over time.
Most importantly, we get practical. From a 10-second shoulder shimmy after sending the scary email to lighting the good candle because you are the occasion, we share micro-rituals that teach your brain to see progress and ask for more. We also talk about curating your circle to avoid people fatigue, reframing birthdays and New Year’s to prioritize intention over performance, and embracing a simple rule that changes everything: you get more of whatever you celebrate. Leave with a weekly challenge to notice and mark one win—small or big—so your life stops blurring and starts landing. If this episode brings some sparkle back, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review to help more listeners reclaim their joy.
Need help tapping into your Mojo? See ya later brain fog- these gummies are game changers! 15% OFF!
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
More Mojo:
Daily Mojo:
Mojo Website:
Grab your People Pleaser Cheat Sheet FREE & get signed up for the weekly Mojo Magazine for all things Mojo! CLICK HERE
Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/mountaineer/run-away
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:11):
Well, hey there, bestie.
Welcome back to Pocket Full ofMojo, the show that reminds you
to sprinkle a little sparkle onyour everyday life.
Yeah, your life.
The one that you keep forgettingis actually a masterpiece in
progress.
And today, ooh, baby, today weare talking about celebration.
(00:32):
Not just champagne fountains andconfetti cannons, although
listen, I'm never mad at those,but we are going to zero in on
the energy of celebration, theart of noticing your life, the
practice of cheering foryourself.
And we're gonna unpack whypeople are suddenly so down on
celebrating anything.
(00:53):
Like, oh, I don't celebrate mybirthday, or New Year's Eve,
hard pass, or celebrate whenit's perfect, child perfect
where?
In this economy?
So buckle up Buttercup, becausetoday's episode, we're gonna be
talking about why we stoppedcelebrating, how COVID played a
role, why avoiding celebrationdrains your joy.
(01:15):
And we're gonna look at socialfatigue and who's in your
current circle, because some ofthem maybe gotta go.
And we're gonna take a look atbig celebrations and tiny
everyday ones.
And you're gonna wanna stickaround to the end because we're
gonna be unpacking the spicytruth that celebration is how
you get more of what you want.
So buckle up because this one'sgot mojo sass and heart.
(01:40):
So settle in and get readybecause we're here to get tuned
in, tapped in, and turned on.
Okay, so let's hit the bigquestion right up front.
Why are people allergic tocelebrating themselves?
(02:03):
Like a few years ago, Icongratulated a friend on this
huge contract, likelife-changing levels.
And she goes, Yeah, yeah,thanks.
I mean, I mean, it's not thatbig of a deal.
And Bestie, I almost threw mypurse.
Like if that wasn't big enoughto celebrate, what would be?
Like winning the Nobel Prizewhile simultaneously rescuing a
(02:25):
baby panda?
And then I realized peoplearen't down on celebration
because they don't care.
They're down on it for a fewreasons.
So here's what I've uncovered sofar.
So either they grew up in thestay humble culture, you know,
when you hear the messages oflike, don't brag, don't shine
too bright, don't make otherpeople uncomfortable.
(02:47):
And the translation there islike, minimize yourself so that
you fit into spaces that werenever built for your full self
anyway.
That sounds like some great Abullshit to me.
Anybody?
Anybody?
And then there's like thisconditioning that comes along
with it, because a lot of usgrew up in environments where
celebrating yourself wasbasically treated like a felony.
(03:10):
You say one good thing aboutyourself and suddenly, oh,
you're full of yourself, or oh,you're showing off, or oh, look
at you, you're being too much.
So now, even as adults, themoment that we feel proud of
something, that old conditioningjumps out like a referee with a
whistle, blowing penalties onour joy.
(03:30):
But inside, if we really listen,it's like, I just wanted to be
happy for a second.
Calm down.
And then there's the people whothink that celebrating jinxes
things.
I know, y'all.
The don't celebrate yet, theuniverse is watching people.
Sweetheart, if we're tiptoeingaround the universe like it's a
mody landlord, we need to talk.
(03:53):
Because the if I celebrate I'lljinx it, that's just scarcity
thinking.
Like some folks operate like theuniverse is a petty ex who
snatches things away from youthe moment you get excited.
And they avoid celebratingbecause they don't want to jinx
the good things.
But that's just old fear-basedthinking that's disguised as
(04:13):
superstition.
Because celebration doesn't jinxanything.
It signals your brain and theuniverse that you're ready for
more.
Or maybe it's the oldperfectionist brain strikes
again.
Yeah, the I'll celebrate whenit's better.
Or it's always, oh, well, when Ilose five pounds, I'll I'll feel
(04:35):
good.
Or when I hit this number, orwhen I fix this flaw.
And it's the celebration versionof like terms and conditions may
apply.
Because that perfectionism issaying, like, it's not big
enough yet.
It's not worthy of celebration.
And perfectionists are gonnahold a celebration hostage until
the achievement is worthyenough, which, spoiler alert,
(04:59):
never actually happens.
And if the win is too small, wedismiss it.
And if it's a medium-sized win,we say, Well, next time I'll do
it properly.
And if it's big, then we panicbecause we don't know how to
receive that level of attention.
So the celebration getspostponed or just put into
oblivion.
(05:20):
Like, girl, at this point theballoons have deflated
themselves.
Or maybe it's the fact thatcelebration feels vulnerable.
Like receiving love or beingseen or just acknowledging your
worth in a public setting.
For some folks, that's moreterrifying than a horror movie
played at 2 a.m.
in an empty house.
(05:41):
Because celebration requiresvisibility.
Even if it's just you clappingfor yourself in your kitchen
like you just won an Oscar fordoing the dishes, that's fine.
But being seen means beingvulnerable, noticeable, and
maybe, I don't know, maybe evenadmired.
And for some people, thattriggers every alarm in the
(06:02):
emotional fire department.
And staying small, well, it justfeels safer than letting people
see that you've grown and thatyou have some joy and that
you're going through a glow-up.
And it's like saying, hey, I didthis amazing thing, don't tell
anybody about it.
And then there's the biggestreason.
And yeah, we're going there.
Because COVID, it had a majoreffect on celebration.
(06:26):
COVID hit and suddenlycelebration wasn't just
discouraged, it was illegal.
We got used to minimizingmilestones and like whisper
celebrating our birthdays andpretending that another year of
survival didn't matter because,well, there's just too much
going on.
And that era rewired our brainsto think that joy should be
(06:49):
quiet, it's optional, and itshould be delayed.
And even though the worldreopened, the emotional muscle
that we used to celebrate, itnever fully came back online.
COVID didn't just cancel ourplans, it canceled our practice
of celebration.
I remember hosting my firstpandemic birthday on Zoom, and
(07:11):
we were we were all singinghappy birthday with that awkward
leg, like a choir of glitchingrobots, and then someone's
screen froze while blowing out acandle, and someone else was
muted the entire time.
And you know, yeah, it was cuteand also traumatic.
You know, we learned tocelebrate from a distance, we
(07:33):
learn to mute our joy, we learnto socialize inside a rectangle
on our laptops.
And when things open back up,our joy stamina girl, it's gone.
And COVID did three big thingsto celebration.
It shrank our emotional energyand capacity, it made gatherings
(07:54):
feel like a sport that requiresrecovery and three days of rest.
And it taught us to operate insurvival mode, not celebration
mode.
And some people never turnedthat switch back on, and they
quietly decided that celebrationwas extra, optional,
unnecessary.
(08:14):
But my friend, survival mode isnot meant to be a personality
trait, it's a stop along theway, not a way of life.
So let's talk about what happenswhen celebration goes missing.
Let's talk about the symptoms.
Because when you skipcelebration long enough, your
life starts to feel like aNetflix series with no season
(08:35):
finale, just episodes endlesslywith no payoff.
Anyone who also watches Love isBlind will know the feeling.
Because when celebration goesmissing, your motivation drops.
Because your brain isn't gettingthose little, we did it, hits of
dopamine.
And then you're gonna find thatyour confidence drops because
(08:58):
you were never pausing toacknowledge, ooh, I actually did
that.
And we know that confidencecomes after the evidence of the
thing that we did.
And then your joy tolerancedrops.
Yeah, that's real.
Some of y'all get itchy whenlife feels too good.
It's like walking around lifewith low iron levels, but for
(09:21):
your spirit, like spiritualanemia.
Like, did I just invent a thing?
Anyway, here's the T Celebrationisn't the reward after the
journey, it's the fuel for thejourney.
And if you're waiting around toonly celebrate the big stuff,
then you are starving yourselfemotionally 95% of the time.
(09:43):
Now, I want to have a littlechat with the birthday avoiders.
You know exactly who you are.
And I once asked somebody whatthey were doing for their
birthday, and they said, Oh, oh,I don't celebrate.
There's just a year went by,nothing to celebrate.
Nothing.
Nothing.
You survived every plot twist ofthe last year.
(10:06):
You grew, you healed, you felldown, you got back up, you kept
going, you woke up, you got outof bed in the morning.
Like, what more do you want fromyourself?
A Grammy?
And don't even get me started onthe New Year's Eve avoiders.
These peeps act like the clockstriking midnight is out to
personally attack them.
(10:26):
But here's the truth.
People avoid birthdays and NewYear's Eve because it's a moment
of reflection.
And seeing your own growth oryour unmet desires, well, that's
vulnerable.
And it's easier to say, well,it's just another day, than to
say, I don't know how to feelcelebrated.
(10:48):
Yeah.
Let that one hit.
Because when we say, it's fine,it's just a day, that's just a
reflex.
That's a limiting belief.
Because when we look at thedon't look at me reflex,
birthday avoiders often hate theintensity of the attention.
Even if it's loving attention.
(11:10):
To them, it feels like standingunder a spotlight in a bathing
suit after eating nachos,exposed, vulnerable, too much.
They downplay their birthdaybecause they don't know how to
receive the care, the love, theattention without feeling like
they owe something back.
Or maybe it's an emotionalhangover from your childhood.
(11:33):
Because for some people,birthdays weren't magical
growing up.
Maybe they were disappointing orchaotic or forgotten or
overshadowed.
So now as adults, theypre-reject the celebration in
order to avoid being hurt again.
It's just easier.
And then you say, nah, I don'twant anything than to risk
(11:55):
feeling insignificant or letdown.
And that's fair.
Or maybe you get hit with that,I haven't done enough yet, and
the shame spiral that happens.
Because that's just anotherflavor.
If the birthday feels like anannual performance review,
instead of celebrating the lifethat you're living, maybe you
beat yourself up for not beingfurther ahead.
(12:18):
So avoiding the day becomes away of dodging any kind of
perceived failure.
It's like saying, Don'tcelebrate me yet.
I'll be maybe I'll be worthynext year, which is just fucking
heartbreaking.
Because the birthday doesn't askif you're perfect.
It just asks that you'represent.
And you know, some people treatbirthdays like a countdown
(12:38):
clock.
Like every candle feels like areminder that they should have
their life together by now.
Yeah.
According to whom?
Like avoiding the birthday is away to avoid the pressure of
aging expectations.
Like marriage, kids, career,money, house, glow-up, emotional
mastery, all of it.
But you're not a milk cartonbestie.
(13:00):
You're not gonna expire.
And to quote Ferris Bueller,none of us make it out of this
alive.
And then there's the othercomponent, which might be your
environment.
Some people have low qualitycircles, and that can lead to
social fatigue.
And it's not the birthday thatthey're allergic to, it's the
people who would show up.
(13:21):
Like if your circle drains you,even a celebration feels like
emotional labor.
So birthday avoiders keep itsmall or even non-existent to
avoid being stuck in a room withpeople who don't know how to
truly celebrate them.
And then for my New Year's CanWe Skip the Countdown Club?
Yeah, now I'm talking to you.
(13:42):
Because I get it.
You can feel the pressure oflike forced fun.
Like New Year's Eve is basicallya holiday wrapped in
expectations.
People feel like they need toget the perfect outfit, the
perfect plans, the perfect kiss,the perfect Instagram moment.
It's performance joy.
And for many people, thatpressure sucks the fun right out
(14:02):
of it.
They'd rather skip the wholething than deal with the
emotional choreography.
Or maybe it's the invisiblescorecard that you don't want to
face.
Like New Year's Eve brings upthe same kind of annual review
vibe as birthdays, but with moreglitter and a bigger existential
crisis.
It's like a moment where peoplecompare where they are to where
(14:23):
they were last year, to wherethey should be.
So skipping New Year's Eve feelslike skipping the judgment,
skipping the comparison and thedisappointment.
Like if we don't celebrate, Idon't have to feel behind.
And to that I say, who are youbehind exactly?
But we'll save that to unpackfor another day.
And for sure, there's gonna besome social fatigue left over
(14:47):
from the pandemic.
Because COVID taught people howto stay home, how to keep it
small, how to keep it quiet, howto keep it safe.
And New Year's Eve went from bigblowouts to sweatpants and
Netflix, right?
And honestly, that became thenew comfort zone.
So the idea of going out againfeels overwhelming.
(15:07):
And people got used to shrinkingthe moment.
And when we have great moments,we want to have our great
people.
And the I don't have my peoplesyndrome is probably more common
than you think.
Because celebration isrelational.
And New Year's Eve is whenpeople feel the most aware of
(15:28):
who they do or don't have.
So if someone doesn't feelconnected, supported, or
surrounded by their people, NewYear's Eve feels more like
loneliness than a countdown.
And avoiding it protects youfrom feeling the ache of, oh, I
wish I had a better circle, oroh, I wish I had somebody to
(15:48):
kiss at midnight.
I know that feeling.
But surrendering to it isshortchanging yourself of a
little glitter, a littlesparkle, and a little joy.
And maybe you've had just a hellof a year, and you'd rather a
do-over than go back and look atthe receipts.
Like some folks aren't avoidingthe celebration, they're
(16:10):
avoiding the reflection.
Because New Year's Eve demands alook at the last year, and it
can be a little tender if you'renot proud of it.
You'd rather skip the recap andjump straight into the next
chapter without acknowledgingthe last one, because it's not
our proudest moment.
But that's like starting a newbook with your finger still
stuck in the previous one.
(16:31):
You're gonna have a hard timemoving forward.
And at the core, both birthdayand New Year's Eve avoiders are
protecting themselves fromsomething judgment, comparison,
attention, expectations,disappointment, visibility,
emotional vulnerability.
And celebration needs you toshow up.
(16:54):
It needs you to be open andself-acknowledged.
And for many people, that isscarier than staying small.
But the truth celebration isn'tscary, but being seen is and
that's exactly why reclaimingcelebration is so powerful.
But let's take a second to talkabout social fatigue.
Because here's the deal (17:16):
if celebrating with your circle
feels exhausting, here's whatthat means.
Because it's not celebrationfatigue, it's people fatigue.
Because listen, celebration, itshould feel easy.
There should be laughter, youshould feel supported, it should
have that hype squad energy.
And if you leave an eventfeeling drained, it's because
(17:38):
the people you're with areenergy vampires and they got
ring lights.
All right.
I've had celebration where oneperson's vibe sucked the life
out of the room like a dice invacuum.
I've also had celebrations wherethe group literally made me feel
levitated, and I didn't want thenight to end.
Because the circle matters, thevibe matters, the energy
(18:01):
matters.
So let's have a look atcelebration in the big and the
small ways.
Because this is where we getpractical.
And celebration, it's not justgrand gestures.
Sometimes celebration is tiny,silly, cozy, and personal
moments.
Like some of my faves are justlike the little I did it
(18:23):
shoulder shimmy after sendingthat scary email.
Or lighting that candle that youspent a fortune on that you
thought you were gonna just savefor that special occasion.
Babe, you are the specialoccasion.
Light that fancy candle.
Maybe it's the victory laparound the living room after
folding laundry.
Yeah.
Who says that you can'tcelebrate that?
(18:44):
Or maybe it's making a cup oftea like it's a five-star room
service, like really just beingintentional and using the good
china and doing it up a littlebit.
Or maybe it's just leaving avoice note to yourself, hyping
yourself up and celebrating thatthing that you just did.
Because those littlecelebrations, they matter, and
they're building your brainevidence that you are worthy of
(19:06):
great things.
And the big celebrations, well,those matter too.
Maybe you hit a milestone or youfinished a really hard chapter
of your life or your project oryour school.
Maybe you survived somethingthat you thought would break
you, but here you are.
But celebration is simply apause.
It's a breath, it's a witness toyour own life.
(19:29):
And here comes the magic part.
Because once you understand thispart, celebration, it stops
feeling optional.
Now listen, because this nextpart, it's the game changer.
Okay, so you ready?
Here we go.
You get more of whatever youcelebrate.
(19:51):
How cool is that?
Okay, you celebrate your winsand your brain goes, Oh, we like
this.
Let's do more.
When you celebrate your effort,you show up more often.
When you celebrate your courage,you go out and you take bigger
chances, you get bigger rewards.
When you celebrate your joy, youcreate more joy.
(20:13):
Because celebration is a signal.
Okay?
It's a GPS pin.
It's a love letter to theuniverse that says, yes, this,
more please.
I'm here for it.
And your energy expands and yourcapacity expands and your
self-trust expands.
And honey, you can't buy that.
(20:33):
Celebration is how you quietlytrain your brain to become
someone who believes good thingsare not only possible, but a
normal ingredient in a lifethat's aligned with what you
want.
(20:55):
Alright, gorgeous, let's landthis plane.
You do not have too much joy.
You don't celebrate too often,and you are not overflowing with
so much goodness that you haveto turn some away.
If anything, you're overdue.
So this week, I want you tocelebrate something.
(21:15):
Big, small, I don't care,doesn't matter.
Just don't let your life gounnoticed.
Toast yourself, cheer foryourself, treat yourself, hype
yourself.
And if other people want to joinyou, cool.
More the merrier.
All are welcome.
But the most important attendeeto this party is you.
(21:37):
Because when you celebrate yourlife, your life gives you more
to celebrate.
Alright, my friend, go celebratesomething before your brain
tries to talk you out of it.
Your wins are there.
They are waiting, your joy iswaiting, and honestly, so is the
version of you who finally letsherself feel good.
(21:58):
And be sure to tune in next weekbecause we're gonna address
those of us who have been maybefeeling a bit off, a bit
disconnected, maybe not quiteyourself.
Next week's episode is thebreadcrumb trail back home.
Oh, and one last thing before Igo.
Check the link in the show notesand get yourself signed up for
(22:18):
the weekly Mojo magazine.
That's right, Mojo, straight toyour inbox, and it's gonna be
the email that you're actuallyhappy to open because it helps
you feel better every time youdo.
And as a special treat, there'sa brand new People Pleaser cheat
sheet available for free foreveryone who signs up, which
(22:40):
includes things like scripts tohelp you hold your boundaries,
like what to say in the moment,or how to get yourself out of
the yes that you meant to say noto.
I help you with that too.
And then there's these 60-secondresets for your nervous system
and for you, free.
Nope.
(23:00):
So go check that out immediatelybecause it is a mojo must-have.
So until then, I will see youout there living life like it's
worth clinging a glass to.
I love you.
I'm proud of you.
Now get out there and go makesomething celebration worthy.
Mojo out.
(23:29):
Today's episode of Pocket Fullof Mojo is brought to you by
Mojo Gummies.
Because modern life demands alot from us.
So they created Mojo to findclarity among the chaos.
Based on more than 10 years offunctional mushroom research,
Mojo is bursting with aptigensand their unique nootropic
(23:50):
blend, introducing a flow statethat mirrors a microdose.
And a gummy that heightens yourcognition?
Well, that's just juicy.
So if you're looking for a brainboost, help with your
productivity, mental clarity, orjust more energy and focus, head
to the show notes and grab your15% off coupon for Mojo Gummies,
a microdose for modern life.
Well, hey there, bestie.
Welcome back to Pocket Full ofMojo, the show that reminds you
to sprinkle a little sparkle onyour everyday life.
Yeah, your life.
The one that you keep forgettingis actually a masterpiece in
progress.
And today, ooh, baby, today weare talking about celebration.
(00:32):
Not just champagne fountains andconfetti cannons, although
listen, I'm never mad at those,but we are going to zero in on
the energy of celebration, theart of noticing your life, the
practice of cheering foryourself.
And we're gonna unpack whypeople are suddenly so down on
celebrating anything.
(00:53):
Like, oh, I don't celebrate mybirthday, or New Year's Eve,
hard pass, or celebrate whenit's perfect, child perfect
where?
In this economy?
So buckle up Buttercup, becausetoday's episode, we're gonna be
talking about why we stoppedcelebrating, how COVID played a
role, why avoiding celebrationdrains your joy.
(01:15):
And we're gonna look at socialfatigue and who's in your
current circle, because some ofthem maybe gotta go.
And we're gonna take a look atbig celebrations and tiny
everyday ones.
And you're gonna wanna stickaround to the end because we're
gonna be unpacking the spicytruth that celebration is how
you get more of what you want.
So buckle up because this one'sgot mojo sass and heart.
(01:40):
So settle in and get readybecause we're here to get tuned
in, tapped in, and turned on.
Okay, so let's hit the bigquestion right up front.
Why are people allergic tocelebrating themselves?
(02:03):
Like a few years ago, Icongratulated a friend on this
huge contract, likelife-changing levels.
And she goes, Yeah, yeah,thanks.
I mean, I mean, it's not thatbig of a deal.
And Bestie, I almost threw mypurse.
Like if that wasn't big enoughto celebrate, what would be?
Like winning the Nobel Prizewhile simultaneously rescuing a
(02:25):
baby panda?
And then I realized peoplearen't down on celebration
because they don't care.
They're down on it for a fewreasons.
So here's what I've uncovered sofar.
So either they grew up in thestay humble culture, you know,
when you hear the messages oflike, don't brag, don't shine
too bright, don't make otherpeople uncomfortable.
(02:47):
And the translation there islike, minimize yourself so that
you fit into spaces that werenever built for your full self
anyway.
That sounds like some great Abullshit to me.
Anybody?
Anybody?
And then there's like thisconditioning that comes along
with it, because a lot of usgrew up in environments where
celebrating yourself wasbasically treated like a felony.
(03:10):
You say one good thing aboutyourself and suddenly, oh,
you're full of yourself, or oh,you're showing off, or oh, look
at you, you're being too much.
So now, even as adults, themoment that we feel proud of
something, that old conditioningjumps out like a referee with a
whistle, blowing penalties onour joy.
(03:30):
But inside, if we really listen,it's like, I just wanted to be
happy for a second.
Calm down.
And then there's the people whothink that celebrating jinxes
things.
I know, y'all.
The don't celebrate yet, theuniverse is watching people.
Sweetheart, if we're tiptoeingaround the universe like it's a
mody landlord, we need to talk.
(03:53):
Because the if I celebrate I'lljinx it, that's just scarcity
thinking.
Like some folks operate like theuniverse is a petty ex who
snatches things away from youthe moment you get excited.
And they avoid celebratingbecause they don't want to jinx
the good things.
But that's just old fear-basedthinking that's disguised as
(04:13):
superstition.
Because celebration doesn't jinxanything.
It signals your brain and theuniverse that you're ready for
more.
Or maybe it's the oldperfectionist brain strikes
again.
Yeah, the I'll celebrate whenit's better.
Or it's always, oh, well, when Ilose five pounds, I'll I'll feel
(04:35):
good.
Or when I hit this number, orwhen I fix this flaw.
And it's the celebration versionof like terms and conditions may
apply.
Because that perfectionism issaying, like, it's not big
enough yet.
It's not worthy of celebration.
And perfectionists are gonnahold a celebration hostage until
the achievement is worthyenough, which, spoiler alert,
(04:59):
never actually happens.
And if the win is too small, wedismiss it.
And if it's a medium-sized win,we say, Well, next time I'll do
it properly.
And if it's big, then we panicbecause we don't know how to
receive that level of attention.
So the celebration getspostponed or just put into
oblivion.
(05:20):
Like, girl, at this point theballoons have deflated
themselves.
Or maybe it's the fact thatcelebration feels vulnerable.
Like receiving love or beingseen or just acknowledging your
worth in a public setting.
For some folks, that's moreterrifying than a horror movie
played at 2 a.m.
in an empty house.
(05:41):
Because celebration requiresvisibility.
Even if it's just you clappingfor yourself in your kitchen
like you just won an Oscar fordoing the dishes, that's fine.
But being seen means beingvulnerable, noticeable, and
maybe, I don't know, maybe evenadmired.
And for some people, thattriggers every alarm in the
(06:02):
emotional fire department.
And staying small, well, it justfeels safer than letting people
see that you've grown and thatyou have some joy and that
you're going through a glow-up.
And it's like saying, hey, I didthis amazing thing, don't tell
anybody about it.
And then there's the biggestreason.
And yeah, we're going there.
Because COVID, it had a majoreffect on celebration.
(06:26):
COVID hit and suddenlycelebration wasn't just
discouraged, it was illegal.
We got used to minimizingmilestones and like whisper
celebrating our birthdays andpretending that another year of
survival didn't matter because,well, there's just too much
going on.
And that era rewired our brainsto think that joy should be
(06:49):
quiet, it's optional, and itshould be delayed.
And even though the worldreopened, the emotional muscle
that we used to celebrate, itnever fully came back online.
COVID didn't just cancel ourplans, it canceled our practice
of celebration.
I remember hosting my firstpandemic birthday on Zoom, and
(07:11):
we were we were all singinghappy birthday with that awkward
leg, like a choir of glitchingrobots, and then someone's
screen froze while blowing out acandle, and someone else was
muted the entire time.
And you know, yeah, it was cuteand also traumatic.
You know, we learned tocelebrate from a distance, we
(07:33):
learn to mute our joy, we learnto socialize inside a rectangle
on our laptops.
And when things open back up,our joy stamina girl, it's gone.
And COVID did three big thingsto celebration.
It shrank our emotional energyand capacity, it made gatherings
(07:54):
feel like a sport that requiresrecovery and three days of rest.
And it taught us to operate insurvival mode, not celebration
mode.
And some people never turnedthat switch back on, and they
quietly decided that celebrationwas extra, optional,
unnecessary.
(08:14):
But my friend, survival mode isnot meant to be a personality
trait, it's a stop along theway, not a way of life.
So let's talk about what happenswhen celebration goes missing.
Let's talk about the symptoms.
Because when you skipcelebration long enough, your
life starts to feel like aNetflix series with no season
(08:35):
finale, just episodes endlesslywith no payoff.
Anyone who also watches Love isBlind will know the feeling.
Because when celebration goesmissing, your motivation drops.
Because your brain isn't gettingthose little, we did it, hits of
dopamine.
And then you're gonna find thatyour confidence drops because
(08:58):
you were never pausing toacknowledge, ooh, I actually did
that.
And we know that confidencecomes after the evidence of the
thing that we did.
And then your joy tolerancedrops.
Yeah, that's real.
Some of y'all get itchy whenlife feels too good.
It's like walking around lifewith low iron levels, but for
(09:21):
your spirit, like spiritualanemia.
Like, did I just invent a thing?
Anyway, here's the T Celebrationisn't the reward after the
journey, it's the fuel for thejourney.
And if you're waiting around toonly celebrate the big stuff,
then you are starving yourselfemotionally 95% of the time.
(09:43):
Now, I want to have a littlechat with the birthday avoiders.
You know exactly who you are.
And I once asked somebody whatthey were doing for their
birthday, and they said, Oh, oh,I don't celebrate.
There's just a year went by,nothing to celebrate.
Nothing.
Nothing.
You survived every plot twist ofthe last year.
(10:06):
You grew, you healed, you felldown, you got back up, you kept
going, you woke up, you got outof bed in the morning.
Like, what more do you want fromyourself?
A Grammy?
And don't even get me started onthe New Year's Eve avoiders.
These peeps act like the clockstriking midnight is out to
personally attack them.
(10:26):
But here's the truth.
People avoid birthdays and NewYear's Eve because it's a moment
of reflection.
And seeing your own growth oryour unmet desires, well, that's
vulnerable.
And it's easier to say, well,it's just another day, than to
say, I don't know how to feelcelebrated.
(10:48):
Yeah.
Let that one hit.
Because when we say, it's fine,it's just a day, that's just a
reflex.
That's a limiting belief.
Because when we look at thedon't look at me reflex,
birthday avoiders often hate theintensity of the attention.
Even if it's loving attention.
(11:10):
To them, it feels like standingunder a spotlight in a bathing
suit after eating nachos,exposed, vulnerable, too much.
They downplay their birthdaybecause they don't know how to
receive the care, the love, theattention without feeling like
they owe something back.
Or maybe it's an emotionalhangover from your childhood.
(11:33):
Because for some people,birthdays weren't magical
growing up.
Maybe they were disappointing orchaotic or forgotten or
overshadowed.
So now as adults, theypre-reject the celebration in
order to avoid being hurt again.
It's just easier.
And then you say, nah, I don'twant anything than to risk
(11:55):
feeling insignificant or letdown.
And that's fair.
Or maybe you get hit with that,I haven't done enough yet, and
the shame spiral that happens.
Because that's just anotherflavor.
If the birthday feels like anannual performance review,
instead of celebrating the lifethat you're living, maybe you
beat yourself up for not beingfurther ahead.
(12:18):
So avoiding the day becomes away of dodging any kind of
perceived failure.
It's like saying, Don'tcelebrate me yet.
I'll be maybe I'll be worthynext year, which is just fucking
heartbreaking.
Because the birthday doesn't askif you're perfect.
It just asks that you'represent.
And you know, some people treatbirthdays like a countdown
(12:38):
clock.
Like every candle feels like areminder that they should have
their life together by now.
Yeah.
According to whom?
Like avoiding the birthday is away to avoid the pressure of
aging expectations.
Like marriage, kids, career,money, house, glow-up, emotional
mastery, all of it.
But you're not a milk cartonbestie.
(13:00):
You're not gonna expire.
And to quote Ferris Bueller,none of us make it out of this
alive.
And then there's the othercomponent, which might be your
environment.
Some people have low qualitycircles, and that can lead to
social fatigue.
And it's not the birthday thatthey're allergic to, it's the
people who would show up.
(13:21):
Like if your circle drains you,even a celebration feels like
emotional labor.
So birthday avoiders keep itsmall or even non-existent to
avoid being stuck in a room withpeople who don't know how to
truly celebrate them.
And then for my New Year's CanWe Skip the Countdown Club?
Yeah, now I'm talking to you.
(13:42):
Because I get it.
You can feel the pressure oflike forced fun.
Like New Year's Eve is basicallya holiday wrapped in
expectations.
People feel like they need toget the perfect outfit, the
perfect plans, the perfect kiss,the perfect Instagram moment.
It's performance joy.
And for many people, thatpressure sucks the fun right out
(14:02):
of it.
They'd rather skip the wholething than deal with the
emotional choreography.
Or maybe it's the invisiblescorecard that you don't want to
face.
Like New Year's Eve brings upthe same kind of annual review
vibe as birthdays, but with moreglitter and a bigger existential
crisis.
It's like a moment where peoplecompare where they are to where
(14:23):
they were last year, to wherethey should be.
So skipping New Year's Eve feelslike skipping the judgment,
skipping the comparison and thedisappointment.
Like if we don't celebrate, Idon't have to feel behind.
And to that I say, who are youbehind exactly?
But we'll save that to unpackfor another day.
And for sure, there's gonna besome social fatigue left over
(14:47):
from the pandemic.
Because COVID taught people howto stay home, how to keep it
small, how to keep it quiet, howto keep it safe.
And New Year's Eve went from bigblowouts to sweatpants and
Netflix, right?
And honestly, that became thenew comfort zone.
So the idea of going out againfeels overwhelming.
(15:07):
And people got used to shrinkingthe moment.
And when we have great moments,we want to have our great
people.
And the I don't have my peoplesyndrome is probably more common
than you think.
Because celebration isrelational.
And New Year's Eve is whenpeople feel the most aware of
(15:28):
who they do or don't have.
So if someone doesn't feelconnected, supported, or
surrounded by their people, NewYear's Eve feels more like
loneliness than a countdown.
And avoiding it protects youfrom feeling the ache of, oh, I
wish I had a better circle, oroh, I wish I had somebody to
(15:48):
kiss at midnight.
I know that feeling.
But surrendering to it isshortchanging yourself of a
little glitter, a littlesparkle, and a little joy.
And maybe you've had just a hellof a year, and you'd rather a
do-over than go back and look atthe receipts.
Like some folks aren't avoidingthe celebration, they're
(16:10):
avoiding the reflection.
Because New Year's Eve demands alook at the last year, and it
can be a little tender if you'renot proud of it.
You'd rather skip the recap andjump straight into the next
chapter without acknowledgingthe last one, because it's not
our proudest moment.
But that's like starting a newbook with your finger still
stuck in the previous one.
(16:31):
You're gonna have a hard timemoving forward.
And at the core, both birthdayand New Year's Eve avoiders are
protecting themselves fromsomething judgment, comparison,
attention, expectations,disappointment, visibility,
emotional vulnerability.
And celebration needs you toshow up.
(16:54):
It needs you to be open andself-acknowledged.
And for many people, that isscarier than staying small.
But the truth celebration isn'tscary, but being seen is and
that's exactly why reclaimingcelebration is so powerful.
But let's take a second to talkabout social fatigue.
Because here's the deal (17:16):
if celebrating with your circle
feels exhausting, here's whatthat means.
Because it's not celebrationfatigue, it's people fatigue.
Because listen, celebration, itshould feel easy.
There should be laughter, youshould feel supported, it should
have that hype squad energy.
And if you leave an eventfeeling drained, it's because
(17:38):
the people you're with areenergy vampires and they got
ring lights.
All right.
I've had celebration where oneperson's vibe sucked the life
out of the room like a dice invacuum.
I've also had celebrations wherethe group literally made me feel
levitated, and I didn't want thenight to end.
Because the circle matters, thevibe matters, the energy
(18:01):
matters.
So let's have a look atcelebration in the big and the
small ways.
Because this is where we getpractical.
And celebration, it's not justgrand gestures.
Sometimes celebration is tiny,silly, cozy, and personal
moments.
Like some of my faves are justlike the little I did it
(18:23):
shoulder shimmy after sendingthat scary email.
Or lighting that candle that youspent a fortune on that you
thought you were gonna just savefor that special occasion.
Babe, you are the specialoccasion.
Light that fancy candle.
Maybe it's the victory laparound the living room after
folding laundry.
Yeah.
Who says that you can'tcelebrate that?
(18:44):
Or maybe it's making a cup oftea like it's a five-star room
service, like really just beingintentional and using the good
china and doing it up a littlebit.
Or maybe it's just leaving avoice note to yourself, hyping
yourself up and celebrating thatthing that you just did.
Because those littlecelebrations, they matter, and
they're building your brainevidence that you are worthy of
(19:06):
great things.
And the big celebrations, well,those matter too.
Maybe you hit a milestone or youfinished a really hard chapter
of your life or your project oryour school.
Maybe you survived somethingthat you thought would break
you, but here you are.
But celebration is simply apause.
It's a breath, it's a witness toyour own life.
(19:29):
And here comes the magic part.
Because once you understand thispart, celebration, it stops
feeling optional.
Now listen, because this nextpart, it's the game changer.
Okay, so you ready?
Here we go.
You get more of whatever youcelebrate.
(19:51):
How cool is that?
Okay, you celebrate your winsand your brain goes, Oh, we like
this.
Let's do more.
When you celebrate your effort,you show up more often.
When you celebrate your courage,you go out and you take bigger
chances, you get bigger rewards.
When you celebrate your joy, youcreate more joy.
(20:13):
Because celebration is a signal.
Okay?
It's a GPS pin.
It's a love letter to theuniverse that says, yes, this,
more please.
I'm here for it.
And your energy expands and yourcapacity expands and your
self-trust expands.
And honey, you can't buy that.
(20:33):
Celebration is how you quietlytrain your brain to become
someone who believes good thingsare not only possible, but a
normal ingredient in a lifethat's aligned with what you
want.
(20:55):
Alright, gorgeous, let's landthis plane.
You do not have too much joy.
You don't celebrate too often,and you are not overflowing with
so much goodness that you haveto turn some away.
If anything, you're overdue.
So this week, I want you tocelebrate something.
(21:15):
Big, small, I don't care,doesn't matter.
Just don't let your life gounnoticed.
Toast yourself, cheer foryourself, treat yourself, hype
yourself.
And if other people want to joinyou, cool.
More the merrier.
All are welcome.
But the most important attendeeto this party is you.
(21:37):
Because when you celebrate yourlife, your life gives you more
to celebrate.
Alright, my friend, go celebratesomething before your brain
tries to talk you out of it.
Your wins are there.
They are waiting, your joy iswaiting, and honestly, so is the
version of you who finally letsherself feel good.
(21:58):
And be sure to tune in next weekbecause we're gonna address
those of us who have been maybefeeling a bit off, a bit
disconnected, maybe not quiteyourself.
Next week's episode is thebreadcrumb trail back home.
Oh, and one last thing before Igo.
Check the link in the show notesand get yourself signed up for
(22:18):
the weekly Mojo magazine.
That's right, Mojo, straight toyour inbox, and it's gonna be
the email that you're actuallyhappy to open because it helps
you feel better every time youdo.
And as a special treat, there'sa brand new People Pleaser cheat
sheet available for free foreveryone who signs up, which
(22:40):
includes things like scripts tohelp you hold your boundaries,
like what to say in the moment,or how to get yourself out of
the yes that you meant to say noto.
I help you with that too.
And then there's these 60-secondresets for your nervous system
and for you, free.
Nope.
(23:00):
So go check that out immediatelybecause it is a mojo must-have.
So until then, I will see youout there living life like it's
worth clinging a glass to.
I love you.
I'm proud of you.
Now get out there and go makesomething celebration worthy.
Mojo out.
(23:29):
Today's episode of Pocket Fullof Mojo is brought to you by
Mojo Gummies.
Because modern life demands alot from us.
So they created Mojo to findclarity among the chaos.
Based on more than 10 years offunctional mushroom research,
Mojo is bursting with aptigensand their unique nootropic
(23:50):
blend, introducing a flow statethat mirrors a microdose.
And a gummy that heightens yourcognition?
Well, that's just juicy.
So if you're looking for a brainboost, help with your
productivity, mental clarity, orjust more energy and focus, head
to the show notes and grab your15% off coupon for Mojo Gummies,
a microdose for modern life.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Bobby Bones Show
Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.