December 18, 2025 • 20 mins
If you’ve been feeling like your identity packed a bag and slipped out the back door, this conversation offers a gentler truth: you’re not lost—you’re layered. We talk about how people pleasing, stacked roles, and cultural noise dim your inner signal, and how a few honest steps can move you from low battery mode to full brightness. Instead of promising reinvention, we build a path to reunion with the self you’ve been all along.
We start by naming the hidden costs of being the reliable one, the peacekeeper, the steady hand. When life gets too loud, the loudest demands replace your inner voice, and your choices default to what keeps the peace. Through a vivid story about a mom pausing at a coffee counter when asked for her name, we see how identity erosion looks and how the smallest spark—a name spoken, a shoulder unclenched—can bring you back into focus.
From there, we get practical. You’ll learn to use micro-questions that bypass overwhelm: What feels good today? What do I miss? What did younger me love? What would I choose if no one had an opinion? You’ll hear why one daily choice that’s just for you rebuilds self-trust fast, and how letting your preferences exist out loud—without a thesis-length explanation—restores integrity. We close with a simple but powerful compass: track energy, not vibes. Notice what drains you and what lights you up; those patterns quietly outline who you are and who you are not.
Walk away with language to resist self-abandonment, tools to create quiet, and a map for recognizing yourself in the mirror again. If this resonated, share it with a friend who needs the reminder, subscribe for more weekly mojo, and leave a review so we can keep this glow-up going.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:11):
Hey gorgeous, welcome back to Pocket Full of
Mojo, the show, where we remindyou that yeah, you are the
moment, even if you temporarilyfeel like the supporting
character in your own life.
I'm Steph.
I'm your mojo maven and livingexample of how to come home to
yourself.
And I'm glad you're here becausetoday's episode is for every
(00:34):
single person who has ever said,Ugh, I feel lost, or I don't
even know who I am anymore.
Or I used to be fun.
Or my personal favorite, I swearmy identity packed a bag and
left without forwarding itsmail.
But this, this is where webreathe.
We relax our shoulders, unclenchthat jaw, and babe, today we are
(00:57):
going to spend some time havinga good hard look at where we're
at, how we got here, and how toget where we're going.
But this time we're gonna do itwith some intention and some
grace.
We're gonna get back to whowe've been all along.
But maybe we've just drifted abit.
So I've got you.
So let's get into it and gettuned in, tapped in, and turned
(01:19):
on.
All right, my friend.
I'm about to tell you somethingthat will change the way you
think about yourself forever.
You are not lost.
In your identity, it's not gone,and you didn't misplace yourself
(01:41):
like a rogue airpod.
You're simply waiting, paused,parked, maybe even buried under
expectations or roles orresponsibilities or everyone
else's needs.
But the real you, yeah, she'snot missing.
She's at the door with a littlewelcome home sign, like finally,
(02:03):
I've been calling you.
And this isn't an identitycrisis, this is an identity
reunion.
Let's get into it.
Let's talk about where that lostfeeling actually comes from.
Because here's the truth (02:16):
nobody tells you.
Most people don't losethemselves, they abandon
themselves in tiny, verysocially acceptable ways over
time.
Like, here's a story for you.
I once asked a woman what sheliked to do for fun.
And she looked at me like I justasked her to explain quantum
(02:38):
physics.
She was like, fun, like like forme.
And that right there is thepeople pleasers identity crisis.
When you've spent so long livingas who everyone needs you to be,
you forget who you are allowedto be.
And these are all just littlemicro moments, and we lose
(02:58):
ourselves in these cracks andthese little energy leaks that
are dressed up as being helpfulor being nice.
It's just sort of changing youand your whole experience.
So when we're stuck betweenbeing our truest selves and
being helpful, being liked,being reliable, being needed,
being the strong one, being thepeacekeeper, being the adult in
(03:21):
the room, yeah, little by littleyou're gonna be trading your
identity for your usefulness.
And then one day you're gonnalook up and think, wait, where
did I go?
But here's the good news (03:33):
you didn't vanish, you just drifted.
And drifting is reversible.
Now we're gonna talk about thepeople pleaser identity
blackout.
Because your identity getscloudy when you live your life
like a full-time customerservice representative for
everyone else's needs.
And I say this from a very takesone to no-one kind of place.
(03:57):
So this mark might sting alittle, but I'm doing it with
love.
Because people pleasers, wedon't lose ourselves, we silence
ourselves.
Because being the easy breezyone is like easier, right?
Because being low maintenancegets you that approval.
(04:17):
Because saying, I'm fine, it'sjust way faster than unpacking
the truth.
Because honoring who you reallyare feels way scarier than
performing who you think you'resupposed to be.
But I'm here to tell you,identity, it doesn't disappear.
It just dims.
But dimming isn't the same asdying.
(04:38):
You're not lost.
You've just been living on likelow battery mode.
The brightness on your screenhas just been put to such a low
point that you can hardly seewhat's there.
The volume on what's true to youis so low that you can barely
hear it.
It's like setting an alarm andthen leaving it on mute.
It can't serve you if you'rebusy caring for everything
(05:00):
outside yourself.
So let's get to the bottom ofit.
Let's talk roles.
Because my friend, the rolesthat you take on will swallow
you whole if you're not careful.
Like parent, partner, businessowner, friend, leader,
caretaker, the nice one, theorganized one, the one who keeps
(05:21):
everything from falling apart.
Imagine carrying each of thoseroles as if they were weighted
blankets.
And then suddenly you areunderneath all that, like, uh,
hello, anybody?
So the takeaway in this analogyis that your identity didn't
leave.
It just got crowded out byresponsibility.
(05:42):
Now, a powerful truth is thatit's not that you don't know who
you are, it's that you haven'thad a quiet moment to actually
hear yourself in probably years.
And here's another thing nobodytells you your identity didn't
disappear.
It didn't fall off somewherebetween burnout and people
pleasing and being there foreverybody.
(06:04):
It didn't evaporate because youmade a few detours.
It didn't pack a bag and moveout.
Your identity is still in you.
She just whispering.
And the whisper got drowned outby the noise.
The noise of expectations, thenoise of constantly reacting,
the noise of caretaking,performing, hustling, managing
(06:27):
everyone else's emotions likeit's your unpaid full-time job,
the noise of a culture thatrewards self-abandonment and
calls it being a good person.
So of course you can't hearyourself.
You're not broken, you'reoverstimulated, and you're not
lost, you're overloaded, andyou're not confused, you're just
(06:49):
crowded.
And what happens when life getstoo loud?
You stop being guided by yourinner voice.
And you start being guided bywhatever is yelling the loudest,
like deadlines or demands ortext messages or family
expectations.
Maybe it's work chaos or socialpressure or just the pile of
everyone else's needs.
(07:11):
So your identity didn't geterased, it got interrupted.
And here's the part that mattersthe moment that you slow down,
even for 30 seconds, you'll hearit again.
That tiny, oh, this feels right.
That subtle, mmm, not this.
Or maybe that quiet, oh, I'vemissed this, that soft nudge
(07:36):
towards joy, rest, creativity,connection, truth.
Your identity lives in thosecues.
And when you finally create thatmoment of quiet, even a crack of
stillness, your real self rushesforward, like, oh hey, I've been
here the whole time.
Thank you for finally puttingdown the emotional megaphone.
(08:00):
And that is why you don't needreinvention.
You need a reunion, a chance tomeet yourself again without all
the noise.
And here's what happens when youdo you feel clarity and not that
confusion.
Your decisions are gonna geteasier because you're listening
to you and not the crowd.
(08:21):
And you're gonna feel lessguilty for wanting things
because they finally make sense.
You're gonna stopover-explaining because your
truth, man, feels solid.
And you're gonna startrecognizing yourself in the
mirror again.
Not the version who performs,but the version who leads.
And my friend, that is wheneverything changes.
(08:44):
Not because you became someonenew, but because you finally
gave yourself the space to hearthe person that you've been all
along.
Let me tell you about a momentthat this hit me.
So I was in line at a Starbucksbehind a woman who had toddl
climbing up her like a junglegym.
My waking nightmare.
Anyway, she ordered her coffee,paid, and then the barista asked
(09:06):
the most harmless question, whatname should I put on the cup?
And she froze, like she legitpaused.
She had so much going on in herown head and in her own life
that she had to legit thinkabout who she was.
Then she said her name in thislike tiny apologetic tone, like
she was inconveniencing the cupor somehow unworthy of being
(09:30):
called by her own name.
And I swear I almost hugged herbecause that is what identity
erosion will look like.
When even your name feelsunfamiliar because you haven't
used it for yourself in ages.
Like I'm sure there was afraction of a second there where
she thought her name was mom.
But what was so cool is Iquietly observed this superwoman
(09:54):
reigning in her very activethree children who were not
interested at all in waiting forthis woman's beverage to come
out.
But when it did come out and hername got called, oh, she lit up
like the tiniest little spark,but I saw her shoulders drop and
she remembered why she was therefor like two seconds.
And that's all it takes.
(10:15):
Just that one tiny spark, onetiny moment where you see
yourself again.
And with this woman, you couldtell that this was a special
treat.
It was a small act of kindnessfor all that she does, and she
was doing it for herself, andthat's how you know it's the
right stuff when you dosomething, big or small, that
brings you home to you.
(10:38):
Because your identity doesn'tneed an entire rescue mission,
it just needs a littlerecognition.
So let's get practical.
Let's have a look at how you canstart reconnecting with your
identity.
First thing you want to do isyou're gonna start asking
yourself some micro questions.
Do not start with, who am I?
(10:58):
All right, we're not writing aPhD thesis for a philosophy
major.
Let's try something a littlemore manageable, okay?
Like when I was rebuilding andremembering myself in the early
days, I can remember feelinglost and unseen and adrift, but
I was really committed togetting back on track.
So here's a few thought startersthat I would use to journal.
(11:21):
And I can tell you that withevery word, it brought me home
to myself.
And you can start by askingyourself these questions and
then just see where it takesyou.
Like try starting out with whatfeels good today?
Like just bring yourself rightback to the moment.
And then tune in with yourselfand say, what am I craving?
And what do I miss?
(11:41):
What have I pushed off of myplate that I wish would come
back?
And if you're still gettingquestion marks, dig into the
past.
What did younger me love?
What did you love to do when youwere little or when you were in
high school or even like 10years ago?
And what would you choose if noone else had an opinion and
(12:02):
money didn't matter?
And just start pulling thosethreads.
Because when you follow thosetiny pulls instead of forcing
the big answers, so much can berevealed.
Like your identity isn't gonnareappear like in a lightning
strike moment.
It's gonna return through smalllittle nudges.
(12:24):
The things that you feel drawnto for, you know, no logical
reason, whether it's a color, asong, a hobby, a smell, a
memory, a craving.
Those weird little like, why doI want this moments?
These are breadcrumbs.
So here's what you can expectbecause at first it'll feel
silly, like, why am I suddenlyobsessed with green?
(12:46):
Or how come I all I want to dois paint?
Or going for walks at eighto'clock.
Just don't overthink it.
Because your identity will neverfeel like pressure.
It's gonna feel like curiosity.
So follow those polls, andyou're going to uncover old
desires that you forgot evenmattered.
The second thing you're gonna dois you're gonna do something
(13:09):
just for you.
Not productivity, not becauseit's efficient, not because it
makes somebody else comfortable.
You're gonna do it for you.
So make that your goal thisweek.
Make one decision that's justfor you.
Because the insight here is thatrebuilding identity equals
rebuilding trust with yourself.
(13:30):
And the key here is that thesearen't big decisions, no life
decisions, just one choice a daythat's not influenced by anyone
else's expectations.
Because at first you're going towant to justify every choice,
and then you're gonna catchyourself saying, Wait, do do I
even want this?
And that moment is huge.
(13:52):
Because within a few weeks,you're gonna have a stronger
connection to what you like,what you want, what you need,
what you crave, and even whatyou prefer.
And that is your identitystepping back into the frame.
Which takes us to number three.
Let your preferences exist outloud.
Because you don't have to beagreeable, and you don't have to
(14:15):
be easy, and you don't have tobe that person that says,
whatever works for you, say whatyou want, even in tiny ways.
And heads up, because part ofyour identity coming home to
you, well, that's gonna looklike change.
And people pleasers strugglewith this because change without
explanation feels kind ofselfish, right?
(14:38):
But stepping into this trueidentity, it doesn't have to
come with a thesis statement.
So you can expect that yourbrain is gonna try and
overexplain.
Like, should I tell people whyI'm doing this?
Should I clear it with somebody?
No, just let yourself evolvequietly.
Your identity doesn't require acommittee meeting.
(15:02):
Which takes us to number four.
Stop outsourcing your identityto the roles you play.
You are not only a parent,you're not only a business
owner, you're not only thehelper, the caretaker.
Those are things that you do.
It's not who you are.
(15:23):
So let this be an invitation toset a new standard for how you
treat yourself.
Because identity can't thrivewhere there's self-neglect.
If you treat yourself like anafterthought, your identity is
gonna act like one.
But when you upgrade how youspeak to yourself, how you care
for yourself, how you honoryourself, your identity is gonna
(15:46):
show up fast.
So here's what you can expect.
You're gonna have other peoplecomment, like, hmm, you seem
different.
Hey, you're more confident.
Ooh, you're glowing.
And that, my friends, is calledalignment because you're
becoming recognizable toyourself again.
So that's what you're puttingout in the world.
Isn't that amazing?
(16:07):
Because the whole idea here isto rebuild your life around what
energizes you, your identity ishiding under what lights you up.
Go there and pay attention towhat exhausts you like, identity
will always reveal itselfthrough energy, not vibes,
(16:28):
measurable energy.
The things that drain you arepointing to who you are not, and
the things that energize you,even if they're small, point
directly to who you are.
So do not wait for the bigrevelation.
And it might feel as tiny aslike, oh, I feel more like
myself when I'm reading in themorning, or I feel completely
(16:50):
dead inside after being aroundthat one friend.
Take notes because youridentity, it's in those
patterns.
Because the real you is notlost, and they are patient.
So listen to me when I say thatyou don't need to search for
yourself.
You need to create space toreturn to yourself.
(17:13):
Because your identity has beenquietly waiting in the same spot
since the last time you checkedin with them.
And they're not mad, they're notdisappointed, they're not
rolling their eyes like, ugh,finally you show up.
They're like, oh hey, babe, I'mkeeping the light on for you.
And every version that you'veever been is sitting there with
(17:33):
open arms, ready to beintegrated.
And you're not meeting someonenew, you're remembering someone
familiar.
All right, bestie, let's lendthis plane with the truth bomb.
(17:54):
You are not lost, you arelaired.
And you are overdue for areunion with the real you.
So this week I want you to doone thing that feels like home
to your soul.
One tiny moment where you chooseyou, your desires, your
preferences, your spark.
(18:15):
Because the moment that youstart choosing yourself again,
your identity stops whisperingand starts coming back to full
volume.
And I'm so damn proud of you foreven being here and doing this
work and asking these questions.
Because this isn't an identitycrisis, my friend.
It is an identity glow-up.
(18:35):
Oh, and one last thing before Igo.
I want you to check the link inthe show notes to get yourself
signed up for the weekly Mojomagazine.
That's right, mojo, straight toyour inbox.
It's an email that you'reactually happy to open.
Yeah, those exist.
It's coming from me.
And you're gonna want to open itbecause it's gonna make you feel
(18:55):
better every time you do.
And as a special treat, there'sa brand new People Pleaser cheat
sheet that's available full-freebecause I love you.
And it's for everyone who signsup.
And this cheat sheet includesthings like what to say when you
want to hold your boundaries, orhow to get yourself out of the
yes when you meant to say no.
(19:16):
And there's these like little60-second resets for your
nervous system.
And for you, free.
Nope.
So go check it out immediately.
It is a mojo must-have.
Alright, love.
Go find yourself where you leftyourself.
I love you.
I'm proud of you.
Now go out into the world andshow up with your new glow-up.
(19:37):
I'll see you there.
Mojo out.
Today's episode of Pocket Fullof Mojo is brought to you by
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Because modern life demands alot from us.
(19:59):
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a microdose for modern life.
Hey gorgeous, welcome back to Pocket Full of
Mojo, the show, where we remindyou that yeah, you are the
moment, even if you temporarilyfeel like the supporting
character in your own life.
I'm Steph.
I'm your mojo maven and livingexample of how to come home to
yourself.
And I'm glad you're here becausetoday's episode is for every
(00:34):
single person who has ever said,Ugh, I feel lost, or I don't
even know who I am anymore.
Or I used to be fun.
Or my personal favorite, I swearmy identity packed a bag and
left without forwarding itsmail.
But this, this is where webreathe.
We relax our shoulders, unclenchthat jaw, and babe, today we are
(00:57):
going to spend some time havinga good hard look at where we're
at, how we got here, and how toget where we're going.
But this time we're gonna do itwith some intention and some
grace.
We're gonna get back to whowe've been all along.
But maybe we've just drifted abit.
So I've got you.
So let's get into it and gettuned in, tapped in, and turned
(01:19):
on.
All right, my friend.
I'm about to tell you somethingthat will change the way you
think about yourself forever.
You are not lost.
In your identity, it's not gone,and you didn't misplace yourself
(01:41):
like a rogue airpod.
You're simply waiting, paused,parked, maybe even buried under
expectations or roles orresponsibilities or everyone
else's needs.
But the real you, yeah, she'snot missing.
She's at the door with a littlewelcome home sign, like finally,
(02:03):
I've been calling you.
And this isn't an identitycrisis, this is an identity
reunion.
Let's get into it.
Let's talk about where that lostfeeling actually comes from.
Because here's the truth (02:16):
nobody tells you.
Most people don't losethemselves, they abandon
themselves in tiny, verysocially acceptable ways over
time.
Like, here's a story for you.
I once asked a woman what sheliked to do for fun.
And she looked at me like I justasked her to explain quantum
(02:38):
physics.
She was like, fun, like like forme.
And that right there is thepeople pleasers identity crisis.
When you've spent so long livingas who everyone needs you to be,
you forget who you are allowedto be.
And these are all just littlemicro moments, and we lose
(02:58):
ourselves in these cracks andthese little energy leaks that
are dressed up as being helpfulor being nice.
It's just sort of changing youand your whole experience.
So when we're stuck betweenbeing our truest selves and
being helpful, being liked,being reliable, being needed,
being the strong one, being thepeacekeeper, being the adult in
(03:21):
the room, yeah, little by littleyou're gonna be trading your
identity for your usefulness.
And then one day you're gonnalook up and think, wait, where
did I go?
But here's the good news (03:33):
you didn't vanish, you just drifted.
And drifting is reversible.
Now we're gonna talk about thepeople pleaser identity
blackout.
Because your identity getscloudy when you live your life
like a full-time customerservice representative for
everyone else's needs.
And I say this from a very takesone to no-one kind of place.
(03:57):
So this mark might sting alittle, but I'm doing it with
love.
Because people pleasers, wedon't lose ourselves, we silence
ourselves.
Because being the easy breezyone is like easier, right?
Because being low maintenancegets you that approval.
(04:17):
Because saying, I'm fine, it'sjust way faster than unpacking
the truth.
Because honoring who you reallyare feels way scarier than
performing who you think you'resupposed to be.
But I'm here to tell you,identity, it doesn't disappear.
It just dims.
But dimming isn't the same asdying.
(04:38):
You're not lost.
You've just been living on likelow battery mode.
The brightness on your screenhas just been put to such a low
point that you can hardly seewhat's there.
The volume on what's true to youis so low that you can barely
hear it.
It's like setting an alarm andthen leaving it on mute.
It can't serve you if you'rebusy caring for everything
(05:00):
outside yourself.
So let's get to the bottom ofit.
Let's talk roles.
Because my friend, the rolesthat you take on will swallow
you whole if you're not careful.
Like parent, partner, businessowner, friend, leader,
caretaker, the nice one, theorganized one, the one who keeps
(05:21):
everything from falling apart.
Imagine carrying each of thoseroles as if they were weighted
blankets.
And then suddenly you areunderneath all that, like, uh,
hello, anybody?
So the takeaway in this analogyis that your identity didn't
leave.
It just got crowded out byresponsibility.
(05:42):
Now, a powerful truth is thatit's not that you don't know who
you are, it's that you haven'thad a quiet moment to actually
hear yourself in probably years.
And here's another thing nobodytells you your identity didn't
disappear.
It didn't fall off somewherebetween burnout and people
pleasing and being there foreverybody.
(06:04):
It didn't evaporate because youmade a few detours.
It didn't pack a bag and moveout.
Your identity is still in you.
She just whispering.
And the whisper got drowned outby the noise.
The noise of expectations, thenoise of constantly reacting,
the noise of caretaking,performing, hustling, managing
(06:27):
everyone else's emotions likeit's your unpaid full-time job,
the noise of a culture thatrewards self-abandonment and
calls it being a good person.
So of course you can't hearyourself.
You're not broken, you'reoverstimulated, and you're not
lost, you're overloaded, andyou're not confused, you're just
(06:49):
crowded.
And what happens when life getstoo loud?
You stop being guided by yourinner voice.
And you start being guided bywhatever is yelling the loudest,
like deadlines or demands ortext messages or family
expectations.
Maybe it's work chaos or socialpressure or just the pile of
everyone else's needs.
(07:11):
So your identity didn't geterased, it got interrupted.
And here's the part that mattersthe moment that you slow down,
even for 30 seconds, you'll hearit again.
That tiny, oh, this feels right.
That subtle, mmm, not this.
Or maybe that quiet, oh, I'vemissed this, that soft nudge
(07:36):
towards joy, rest, creativity,connection, truth.
Your identity lives in thosecues.
And when you finally create thatmoment of quiet, even a crack of
stillness, your real self rushesforward, like, oh hey, I've been
here the whole time.
Thank you for finally puttingdown the emotional megaphone.
(08:00):
And that is why you don't needreinvention.
You need a reunion, a chance tomeet yourself again without all
the noise.
And here's what happens when youdo you feel clarity and not that
confusion.
Your decisions are gonna geteasier because you're listening
to you and not the crowd.
(08:21):
And you're gonna feel lessguilty for wanting things
because they finally make sense.
You're gonna stopover-explaining because your
truth, man, feels solid.
And you're gonna startrecognizing yourself in the
mirror again.
Not the version who performs,but the version who leads.
And my friend, that is wheneverything changes.
(08:44):
Not because you became someonenew, but because you finally
gave yourself the space to hearthe person that you've been all
along.
Let me tell you about a momentthat this hit me.
So I was in line at a Starbucksbehind a woman who had toddl
climbing up her like a junglegym.
My waking nightmare.
Anyway, she ordered her coffee,paid, and then the barista asked
(09:06):
the most harmless question, whatname should I put on the cup?
And she froze, like she legitpaused.
She had so much going on in herown head and in her own life
that she had to legit thinkabout who she was.
Then she said her name in thislike tiny apologetic tone, like
she was inconveniencing the cupor somehow unworthy of being
(09:30):
called by her own name.
And I swear I almost hugged herbecause that is what identity
erosion will look like.
When even your name feelsunfamiliar because you haven't
used it for yourself in ages.
Like I'm sure there was afraction of a second there where
she thought her name was mom.
But what was so cool is Iquietly observed this superwoman
(09:54):
reigning in her very activethree children who were not
interested at all in waiting forthis woman's beverage to come
out.
But when it did come out and hername got called, oh, she lit up
like the tiniest little spark,but I saw her shoulders drop and
she remembered why she was therefor like two seconds.
And that's all it takes.
(10:15):
Just that one tiny spark, onetiny moment where you see
yourself again.
And with this woman, you couldtell that this was a special
treat.
It was a small act of kindnessfor all that she does, and she
was doing it for herself, andthat's how you know it's the
right stuff when you dosomething, big or small, that
brings you home to you.
(10:38):
Because your identity doesn'tneed an entire rescue mission,
it just needs a littlerecognition.
So let's get practical.
Let's have a look at how you canstart reconnecting with your
identity.
First thing you want to do isyou're gonna start asking
yourself some micro questions.
Do not start with, who am I?
(10:58):
All right, we're not writing aPhD thesis for a philosophy
major.
Let's try something a littlemore manageable, okay?
Like when I was rebuilding andremembering myself in the early
days, I can remember feelinglost and unseen and adrift, but
I was really committed togetting back on track.
So here's a few thought startersthat I would use to journal.
(11:21):
And I can tell you that withevery word, it brought me home
to myself.
And you can start by askingyourself these questions and
then just see where it takesyou.
Like try starting out with whatfeels good today?
Like just bring yourself rightback to the moment.
And then tune in with yourselfand say, what am I craving?
And what do I miss?
(11:41):
What have I pushed off of myplate that I wish would come
back?
And if you're still gettingquestion marks, dig into the
past.
What did younger me love?
What did you love to do when youwere little or when you were in
high school or even like 10years ago?
And what would you choose if noone else had an opinion and
(12:02):
money didn't matter?
And just start pulling thosethreads.
Because when you follow thosetiny pulls instead of forcing
the big answers, so much can berevealed.
Like your identity isn't gonnareappear like in a lightning
strike moment.
It's gonna return through smalllittle nudges.
(12:24):
The things that you feel drawnto for, you know, no logical
reason, whether it's a color, asong, a hobby, a smell, a
memory, a craving.
Those weird little like, why doI want this moments?
These are breadcrumbs.
So here's what you can expectbecause at first it'll feel
silly, like, why am I suddenlyobsessed with green?
(12:46):
Or how come I all I want to dois paint?
Or going for walks at eighto'clock.
Just don't overthink it.
Because your identity will neverfeel like pressure.
It's gonna feel like curiosity.
So follow those polls, andyou're going to uncover old
desires that you forgot evenmattered.
The second thing you're gonna dois you're gonna do something
(13:09):
just for you.
Not productivity, not becauseit's efficient, not because it
makes somebody else comfortable.
You're gonna do it for you.
So make that your goal thisweek.
Make one decision that's justfor you.
Because the insight here is thatrebuilding identity equals
rebuilding trust with yourself.
(13:30):
And the key here is that thesearen't big decisions, no life
decisions, just one choice a daythat's not influenced by anyone
else's expectations.
Because at first you're going towant to justify every choice,
and then you're gonna catchyourself saying, Wait, do do I
even want this?
And that moment is huge.
(13:52):
Because within a few weeks,you're gonna have a stronger
connection to what you like,what you want, what you need,
what you crave, and even whatyou prefer.
And that is your identitystepping back into the frame.
Which takes us to number three.
Let your preferences exist outloud.
Because you don't have to beagreeable, and you don't have to
(14:15):
be easy, and you don't have tobe that person that says,
whatever works for you, say whatyou want, even in tiny ways.
And heads up, because part ofyour identity coming home to
you, well, that's gonna looklike change.
And people pleasers strugglewith this because change without
explanation feels kind ofselfish, right?
(14:38):
But stepping into this trueidentity, it doesn't have to
come with a thesis statement.
So you can expect that yourbrain is gonna try and
overexplain.
Like, should I tell people whyI'm doing this?
Should I clear it with somebody?
No, just let yourself evolvequietly.
Your identity doesn't require acommittee meeting.
(15:02):
Which takes us to number four.
Stop outsourcing your identityto the roles you play.
You are not only a parent,you're not only a business
owner, you're not only thehelper, the caretaker.
Those are things that you do.
It's not who you are.
(15:23):
So let this be an invitation toset a new standard for how you
treat yourself.
Because identity can't thrivewhere there's self-neglect.
If you treat yourself like anafterthought, your identity is
gonna act like one.
But when you upgrade how youspeak to yourself, how you care
for yourself, how you honoryourself, your identity is gonna
(15:46):
show up fast.
So here's what you can expect.
You're gonna have other peoplecomment, like, hmm, you seem
different.
Hey, you're more confident.
Ooh, you're glowing.
And that, my friends, is calledalignment because you're
becoming recognizable toyourself again.
So that's what you're puttingout in the world.
Isn't that amazing?
(16:07):
Because the whole idea here isto rebuild your life around what
energizes you, your identity ishiding under what lights you up.
Go there and pay attention towhat exhausts you like, identity
will always reveal itselfthrough energy, not vibes,
(16:28):
measurable energy.
The things that drain you arepointing to who you are not, and
the things that energize you,even if they're small, point
directly to who you are.
So do not wait for the bigrevelation.
And it might feel as tiny aslike, oh, I feel more like
myself when I'm reading in themorning, or I feel completely
(16:50):
dead inside after being aroundthat one friend.
Take notes because youridentity, it's in those
patterns.
Because the real you is notlost, and they are patient.
So listen to me when I say thatyou don't need to search for
yourself.
You need to create space toreturn to yourself.
(17:13):
Because your identity has beenquietly waiting in the same spot
since the last time you checkedin with them.
And they're not mad, they're notdisappointed, they're not
rolling their eyes like, ugh,finally you show up.
They're like, oh hey, babe, I'mkeeping the light on for you.
And every version that you'veever been is sitting there with
(17:33):
open arms, ready to beintegrated.
And you're not meeting someonenew, you're remembering someone
familiar.
All right, bestie, let's lendthis plane with the truth bomb.
(17:54):
You are not lost, you arelaired.
And you are overdue for areunion with the real you.
So this week I want you to doone thing that feels like home
to your soul.
One tiny moment where you chooseyou, your desires, your
preferences, your spark.
(18:15):
Because the moment that youstart choosing yourself again,
your identity stops whisperingand starts coming back to full
volume.
And I'm so damn proud of you foreven being here and doing this
work and asking these questions.
Because this isn't an identitycrisis, my friend.
It is an identity glow-up.
(18:35):
Oh, and one last thing before Igo.
I want you to check the link inthe show notes to get yourself
signed up for the weekly Mojomagazine.
That's right, mojo, straight toyour inbox.
It's an email that you'reactually happy to open.
Yeah, those exist.
It's coming from me.
And you're gonna want to open itbecause it's gonna make you feel
(18:55):
better every time you do.
And as a special treat, there'sa brand new People Pleaser cheat
sheet that's available full-freebecause I love you.
And it's for everyone who signsup.
And this cheat sheet includesthings like what to say when you
want to hold your boundaries, orhow to get yourself out of the
yes when you meant to say no.
(19:16):
And there's these like little60-second resets for your
nervous system.
And for you, free.
Nope.
So go check it out immediately.
It is a mojo must-have.
Alright, love.
Go find yourself where you leftyourself.
I love you.
I'm proud of you.
Now go out into the world andshow up with your new glow-up.
(19:37):
I'll see you there.
Mojo out.
Today's episode of Pocket Fullof Mojo is brought to you by
Mojo Gummies.
Because modern life demands alot from us.
(19:59):
So they created Mojo to findclarity among the chaos.
Based on more than 10 years offunctional mushroom research,
Mojo is bursting with aptigensand their unique nootropic
blend, introducing a flow statethat mirrors a microdose.
And a gummy that heightens yourcognition?
Well, that's just juicy.
(20:21):
So if you're looking for a brainboost, help with your
productivity, mental clarity, orjust more energy and focus, head
to the show notes and grab your15% off coupon for Mojo Gummies,
a microdose for modern life.
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