September 11, 2025 • 20 mins
Ever caught yourself holding back—not because you didn't want to do something, but because it felt too awkward? That gut-wrenching sensation isn't actually warning you of danger—it's signaling growth.
Awkwardness is the toll we pay to step into our next chapter. For recovering people-pleasers especially, that discomfort feels catastrophic because it represents the death of our familiar, safe selves. But what if that cringe-worthy feeling is actually the doorway to the authentic life you've been craving?
This episode dives deep into recognizing when you're ready for change (hint: if you're exhausted from carrying others' expectations or find yourself envying people who seem comfortable in their own skin, you're there). We explore what breaking through actually feels like—spoiler alert: less like Beyoncé in formation and more like "Bambi on ice, blindfolded." But don't worry! That awkward phase is temporary and necessary.
You'll learn five practical steps to push through discomfort: renaming awkwardness as growth, attempting "micro dares" to build your courage muscle, collecting evidence of your resilience, and finding "expanders"—people who normalize authenticity until you can do it yourself. We also look at icons like Oprah, Lady Gaga, and Brené Brown, all of whom weathered intense awkwardness before emerging into their power.
Remember, confidence doesn't precede awkwardness—it follows it. Your homework: choose one tiny rebellion against your comfort zone this week. Because on the other side of cringe is confidence, and on the other side of confidence is freedom. Your Beyoncé days are coming—but first, embrace being Bambi.
Subscribe now and join our community of people turning awkwardness into their superpower. What tiny act of courage will you try today?
Need help tapping into your Mojo? See ya later brain fog- these gummies are game changers! 15% OFF!
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
More Mojo:
Daily Mojo:
Mojo Website:
Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/mountaineer/run-away
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Okay, real talk.
How many times would you saythat you've stopped yourself
from saying, wearing or doingsomething, not because you
didn't want to, but because itfelt awkward?
I used to do it all the timeand if you're a recovering
people, pleaser, awkwardnessfeels like death and you're not
(00:31):
being dramatic.
It does feel like death becauseit is death, but only to the
old version of you.
But there do be signals, likeyour whole body goes into red
alert abortort mission.
Blend in, don't you dare makeit weird, because your body and
your ego want to hold on to thefamiliar at all costs.
(00:52):
Your desire to change and growis going to be challenged by the
old systems, if it hasn'talready, and it's 100% normal,
but not undefeatable.
So I'm here to share the insidescoop that awkwardness is not
the enemy, but it's definitelyeasier said than done until now,
because awkwardness is the tollthat you pay to step into your
(01:16):
next chapter.
It's the tax, and if you canlearn to lean into it, if you
can stop letting awkwardnesshold you back, you're going to
unlock a version of yourselfthat feels more alive, more
connected and more you thanyou've ever been before.
This is the part where we dialinto our inner awesomeness and
(01:36):
hunt down that mojo.
We know that has been there allalong.
So if you're in it to win it,let's take a deep breath and get
tuned in, tapped in and turnedon.
Hey friend, welcome back.
(02:00):
This is Pocketful of Mojo.
This is Steph.
That's me, I'm your Mojo Maven,and I'm here to be your
emotional Sherpa.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm here to help you navigateall the thoughts and feelings
that come along with tappinginto the real you.
I know you're working on it andI can be your personal little
GPS that helps you get whereyou're going, because you can do
(02:23):
it and I can help.
And today we are tackling thecringe that comes with the
pursuit of personaltransformation.
You know that ick that pops upwhen we try to escape the
loneliness of people pleasingand we want to show up in the
world as our like, real kooky,one of a kind amazing selves.
Now look, I know this isn't ahot take and that you've heard
(02:46):
this a thousand times before andyou're like, yeah, that's great
.
The secret to life is to notgive a fuck.
But could someone please tellme how?
Well, that's where Mojo Masterysteps in.
My friend, you've got this andI've got you.
So today we're going to reframethe awkwardness.
We're going to talk about howyou know you're ready for the
(03:06):
change, what breaking throughactually feels like and, most
importantly, how to breakthrough instead of shrinking
back.
And yeah, I got some juicyexamples Famous people, real
people, everyday people wholeaned in all the way to the
cringe and came out thrivingBecause spoiler, beyonce did not
(03:27):
start in formation, she startedin, awkward probably, and so
did you.
So let's go.
And yeah, at the beginning itcan be awkward, to say the least
.
And if you've had more than afew spins around the sun, your
nervous system has been steadilyprogrammed to help you avoid
the awkwardness.
So it's totally normal thatthis prescription kind of sounds
(03:49):
like a terrible idea.
But I bet you that if you beton yourself and nudge yourself
through some of these activitiesthat we're going to cover today
, you're going to see a glow uplike you didn't even know it was
possible.
So hear me out.
But I mean, maybe you're right,maybe this isn't for you, maybe
you need a little more time inthe oven nurturing the place
(04:11):
that you are in this phase ofyour life that you're in, so you
can think of it as things tocome.
But if you are jonesing forsome change and you're ready to
learn how to step into the newyou, well then you're in the
right place and this is theright time, because awkwardness,
it's just confidence in atraining bra.
You know, confidence is the endgoal here, but if you're
(04:34):
waiting to stop cringing beforeyou start living, you're going
to be waiting forever.
So, on that note, let's have alook at the signs that you are
ready, and you might bewondering how do I even know I'm
ready to break free from thepeople pleasing.
So here are some signs.
(04:58):
First, you're exhausted.
Okay, you've been carryingother people's expectations and
you believe that the whole worldwants you at your best all the
time.
And you believe that the wholeworld wants you at your best all
the time.
It's heavy and it's invisibleand you're pooped and no amount
of sleep seems to take that away.
Then this is probably why, oryou start noticing that silence
feels heavier than honesty.
And this one is tricky Becauseat one time, for people pleasers
(05:21):
, silence was golden.
These vibes were tight, thewaters were calm and we could
just keep to ourselves, becausewe're busy tuning into what
other people need.
But as we pull away from thatpart of our identity and start
having our own opinions.
What a novel idea, right?
And when we know what ourvalues are and someone breaches
(05:43):
these brand spanking newboundaries, we all of a sudden
wanna protect our values andtake up more space.
But it starts with a whisper.
The silence gets loud.
Your inside voice has somethingto say and that silence just
doesn't feel right anymore.
It's kind of cool when younotice it and if you don't say
anything in that moment, that'sokay, you've noticed it, that's
(06:06):
the win.
You might do something differentthe next time.
Or maybe it's moreobservational, like you started
noticing yourself, envying orreally admiring people who you
know put themselves out thereand own their quirks.
And you're, you know, attractedto more people who are really
showing up in their own skin,like that girl that you follow
(06:26):
on Instagram who's able to justshow up day after day, say
what's on her mind and be sillyand have no makeup and her
background is just kind ofwhatever.
And you're like how does she dothat?
Yeah, that that's your inner,you coveting that confidence and
that courage.
And that doesn't mean that youhave to run out and become an
internet star, but that's thething that might be triggering
(06:49):
the signal.
You feel a tug, you feel aquiet voice saying wouldn't it
be nice if you could just showup that vulnerable and I mean
showing up vulnerable can looklike a lot of different things,
you know, because it's youversus you in your own head.
So, like I remember, once I worethis outfit that was way bolder
than my usual vibe.
(07:10):
The dress code to my depressionat the time was blacks, grays,
sweatpants, dress code for workand then pajamas at home.
That was kind of it.
So the day that I showed up inthis like big, bold, beautiful
dress, it was definitely kind ofoutside my comfort.
The day that I showed up inthis like big, bold, beautiful
dress, it was definitely kind ofoutside my comfort zone because
I'd taken the sewing class andI'd made this dress and it was
(07:33):
wild for me.
Right, it was a stretch, it wasa bright color, a bold pattern.
I wore it with mustard yellowshoes super cute.
But it made me feel loud andwalking out of the house, I
swear I felt like I was glowingneon, like everyone was staring,
and you know what?
Nobody cared, nobody evennoticed.
(07:56):
Maybe one person said, hey,nice dress.
But here's what hit me.
Most people are too busyworrying about their own outfits
or if there's spinach in theirteeth to judge mine.
Classic people please theirbrain, thinking the world
spotlight's always on you andyou're always being measured.
And that day taught mesomething when you start
listening to what you wantinstead of how you look, life
(08:18):
gets a little lighter, likethink about the last time that
you saw someone being fullythemselves, like whether it was
dancing like a fool at a weddingor showing up in neon green
Crocs.
Did you secretly admire them?
Or maybe it showed up as somequiet envy Babe.
That's not judgment, that'syour spirit saying it's your
(08:40):
turn, which sets us up perfectlyto talk about the next part,
which is what it feels like.
But I'm not gonna sugarcoat thisBreaking through into your true
self doesn't feel likestrutting down a runway with
wind machines and theme music.
I mean, the good news is thateventually it does feel that way
.
But at first we have to passthrough the forest of
(09:04):
awkwardness and you'll knowyou're there and in the game.
Because it feels awkward Likejeans out of the dryer tight,
stiff, uncomfortable,everything's familiar but just a
little bit different.
Or like when you cross yourarms oops, I just hit the
microphone.
When you cross your arms andthen put the other hand on top,
(09:26):
like, and then that feels weird,right, it feels off, and as
you're breaking through it canfeel lonely at first, because
there's going to be a minutewhere your comfort zone crew
might not get it and your newpeople?
Well, you haven't found themyet.
And this is your reminder tokeep going, keep saying yes to
opportunities and keep lookingfor your tribe.
(09:49):
And the coolest thing you wantto look for is that it kind of
feels electric.
There's like this hum underyour skin saying something's
different, something is changing.
It's not good or bad, it's asensation, but you got to listen
for it.
There's a reason that I openevery episode with a reminder to
(10:11):
get tuned in, tapped in, turnedon, because that's where you
find that electric hum, thatstrut in your step, the smile
that you just can't shake.
You know it's more than onething, but it can feel tough
when you're in the middle of theforest of awkwardness.
Just think of it as the messymiddle.
And if this is your first timein the forest of awkwardness, I
(10:34):
got you, and if you've been herebefore, then you can testify
that there is another side to it.
But we will revisit it becausewe will keep growing and
changing.
We just won't spend as longthere.
Like I remember, in one of myvery first workshops I
(10:55):
completely tripped over theentire intro.
It was word salad.
My face went hot, my cheekswent red and I just thought, oh
my God, they're gonna think I'man imposter.
And guess what?
Nobody cared and a few peoplesmile and we're like same girl,
same, and some even leaned in abit more because I was being
real instead of perfect and Iprobably said something like
(11:16):
sarcastic and silly and kind ofbroke the ice after that.
But I thought that myawkwardness would push people
away.
But it actually made me morerelatable and that's the wild
thing.
Awkwardness is magnetic.
Everyone feels it.
So when you own it, peopleconnect to you more.
So what we know is that awkwardis the gateway drug to
(11:38):
authenticity.
Think of cringe as cardio foryour soul.
It burns at first, but damndoes it build stamina.
Think of how untouchable youwill feel when you don't give a
shit about things that don'tmatter and you've determined
what matters and what doesn'tmatter because you've figured
that out about yourself.
And this breaking through itdoes not feel like Beyonce in
(12:01):
full choreography, it feels likeBambi on ice, blindfolded.
But Bambi grows up and so willyou, okay.
So all this red carpet and noshow.
You're here to learn how tobreak through.
So let's get practical.
Let's look at how to stopletting awkwardness hold us back
.
Step one name it, call it whatit is.
(12:25):
Say this feels awkward becauseit's new, not because it's wrong
, and remember those words andthat distinction.
Because language matters.
You stop labeling thesefeelings as failure and start
rebranding it as growth.
This is what growing feels like, and when you change that
language, you're not going tofeel the resistance like you did
(12:48):
before.
Step two micro dares.
I like to call these tinyrebellions.
Here's what you do.
You just say no to something.
Just say to yourself okay, I'mgoing to say no to something by
noon or maybe you've beenworking on all this inside, glow
up and you're ready for theoutside to match.
So go and wear that outfit thatyou've been saving for someday
(13:11):
and like, go grocery shopping init, walk around the mall, take
yourself out for a drink alone,with no phone.
These little nudges set thestage for bigger things.
And, like I remember the firsttime I said no to something that
I really didn't want to do, andit wasn't even big, it was like
declining a casual invite.
(13:32):
But, oh my god, the guiltspiral was super real and I
replayed it in my head for hours, waiting for somebody to call
me like selfish or ask me amillion questions.
And you know what happened.
Ask me a million questions andyou know what happened.
(13:53):
Yeah, fucking crickets, nothing.
They said, okay, cool, and thatwas it, End of story.
The earth kept spinning and, ohmy God, I felt like I could
breathe again.
But it was awkward at first,but it was 100% worth it.
So it's not about necessarilygoing out and becoming a clown.
That's not what awkwardnessnecessarily has to mean.
It could just be that sensationof stepping outside of your
(14:16):
comfort zone and then, as you'redoing this mindfully, you're
going to notice how it feels.
So you can do it intentionallyand get your reps in, and that's
step number three.
So you can do it intentionallyand get your reps in, and that's
step number three.
You want to build your cringemuscle.
Awkwardness is like the gym themore reps you do, the more you
pass through the forest ofawkwardness.
So if the confidence is whatyou want to greet you on the
(14:38):
other side of this forest.
You got to lift awkwardsituations until they feel light
.
Start with a five pound weight,say hi to a stranger, wear
bigger earrings and, you know,work your way up from there.
And our brains like data when weare rewiring ourselves into a
(15:00):
new pattern of thought and newpattern of behavior.
So we want to collect evidence.
So that's step number four,because the brain loves proof.
If you're going to overthink,might as well do it in your own
advantage.
You're going to write downevery awkward moment that you
have survived up until now,whether it was that weird
presentation or that post thatwas kind of weird and you didn't
(15:22):
really understand it, or thathorrible first date, or that
time you mispronounced a wordnewsflash you lived.
And then use that evidence toremind yourself that awkwardness
won't actually kill you,despite what your nervous system
is trying to tell you about it.
(15:43):
And in step number five, youwant to find expanders.
These are the people that willcreate a safe space for you to
be you and from the sounds of it, it's not your current circle.
Get around people who normalizeauthenticity.
Borrow their bravery untilyou've built your own.
We all need expanders.
(16:05):
It's like being around acampfire.
You don't have to be the spark.
You just have to get closeenough to feel the warmth.
Courage can be contagious andwhen applied properly, it can
skyrocket your path to beingpost-cringe.
But, steve, I'm more that I trythis and nothing changes.
Yeah, because you've probablytried a million things already
(16:27):
and nothing's really clicked.
Well, ask these people if theyregret leaning into the awkward
Famous people.
We got Oprah fired from herfirst TV job.
She was told she wasn't a fitfor television.
Imagine if she let that awkwardfailure stop her.
M'lady Gaga mocked for hercostumes like from the get-go.
(16:50):
Now she's a celebrated fashionicon, among many other things,
for the exact same thing thatshe was teased for, and she's
totally still ripped to shredsall over the place, as much as
she is exalted.
But does she look like shecares?
Or Queen Brene Brown?
After her TED talk onvulnerability, she had what she
(17:12):
calls a vulnerability hangoverand she said it was so bad she
had to hide under the bed.
But that talk becamelife-changing for her, and you
don't have to have a bluecheckmark next to your name to
be an everyday hero.
I'm talking about the woman whofinally said I don't drink at a
party.
Full stop period, no furtherquestions your honor.
(17:34):
Or the entrepreneur wholaunched their shaky first
Instagram reel Do it your way,do it messy, but if you're in
the game, just do it.
Oh, that's a good slogan.
I should write that down.
Or the guy who went to therapy,despite the short-sighted jokes
from his friends and familyDicks, Everybody should have a
(17:54):
good therapist.
Anyway, awkward is the tollbooth.
Pay it, pass through and get onwith your glow up, because
you're not here in this life tobe Bambi on ice forever.
Your Beyonce days are ahead ofyou if you want them to be.
It just takes some practice toget there, because all these
(18:14):
people who are living the livesthat you wish you had, no matter
how good they look, they didnot wake up that way.
They went through their forestof awkwardness.
I guarantee you that.
So here's what I want you totake away Awkwardness is not a
sign that you are failing.
It is a sign that you aregrowing.
Every time, you feel that stingof discomfort, that flush of
(18:38):
embarrassment, that moment oflike oh my God, what do they
think?
You are standing in the doorwayof transformation, which sounds
way cooler than oh my god, I'mgoing to die.
So your homework this week ispick one micro dare a tiny
rebellion against the old you,something that makes you blush,
(18:58):
but not bolt, and then do thething and then write it down and
then collect that evidence andif you're brave, you're going to
DM me and you're going to tellme what you did and we can
celebrate you, because you'renot alone in this.
You're just in your brave era,and brave always starts awkward,
and brave by definition meansthat there's a little bit of
(19:19):
fear behind it, so it hasnothing to do with being ready.
So I micro dare you.
So I micro dare you.
Oh, what do you know?
And just like that, you gotyour very own pocket full of
mojo.
If this episode lit a littlefire under your butt, you should
(19:40):
share it with a friend.
Maybe they're stuck in theircomfort zone and need a little
nudge, and I don't know.
You could leave a review.
Helps me get the mojo out there.
The world is actually dependingon it.
And remember, awkwardness isn'tthere to hold you back, it's
there to push you forward.
So go out there and begloriously, magnificently
awkward, because on the otherside of cringe is your
(20:04):
confidence and on the other sideof confidence is freedom.
Until next time, keep yourpocket full of mojo and your
awkward dial turned all the wayup to 11,.
Man, that's it for me.
I'm out of here Until next time, my peeps, ciao, for now, love
you, mwah.
Okay, real talk.
How many times would you saythat you've stopped yourself
from saying, wearing or doingsomething, not because you
didn't want to, but because itfelt awkward?
I used to do it all the timeand if you're a recovering
people, pleaser, awkwardnessfeels like death and you're not
(00:31):
being dramatic.
It does feel like death becauseit is death, but only to the
old version of you.
But there do be signals, likeyour whole body goes into red
alert abortort mission.
Blend in, don't you dare makeit weird, because your body and
your ego want to hold on to thefamiliar at all costs.
(00:52):
Your desire to change and growis going to be challenged by the
old systems, if it hasn'talready, and it's 100% normal,
but not undefeatable.
So I'm here to share the insidescoop that awkwardness is not
the enemy, but it's definitelyeasier said than done until now,
because awkwardness is the tollthat you pay to step into your
(01:16):
next chapter.
It's the tax, and if you canlearn to lean into it, if you
can stop letting awkwardnesshold you back, you're going to
unlock a version of yourselfthat feels more alive, more
connected and more you thanyou've ever been before.
This is the part where we dialinto our inner awesomeness and
(01:36):
hunt down that mojo.
We know that has been there allalong.
So if you're in it to win it,let's take a deep breath and get
tuned in, tapped in and turnedon.
Hey friend, welcome back.
(02:00):
This is Pocketful of Mojo.
This is Steph.
That's me, I'm your Mojo Maven,and I'm here to be your
emotional Sherpa.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm here to help you navigateall the thoughts and feelings
that come along with tappinginto the real you.
I know you're working on it andI can be your personal little
GPS that helps you get whereyou're going, because you can do
(02:23):
it and I can help.
And today we are tackling thecringe that comes with the
pursuit of personaltransformation.
You know that ick that pops upwhen we try to escape the
loneliness of people pleasingand we want to show up in the
world as our like, real kooky,one of a kind amazing selves.
Now look, I know this isn't ahot take and that you've heard
(02:46):
this a thousand times before andyou're like, yeah, that's great
.
The secret to life is to notgive a fuck.
But could someone please tellme how?
Well, that's where Mojo Masterysteps in.
My friend, you've got this andI've got you.
So today we're going to reframethe awkwardness.
We're going to talk about howyou know you're ready for the
(03:06):
change, what breaking throughactually feels like and, most
importantly, how to breakthrough instead of shrinking
back.
And yeah, I got some juicyexamples Famous people, real
people, everyday people wholeaned in all the way to the
cringe and came out thrivingBecause spoiler, beyonce did not
(03:27):
start in formation, she startedin, awkward probably, and so
did you.
So let's go.
And yeah, at the beginning itcan be awkward, to say the least
.
And if you've had more than afew spins around the sun, your
nervous system has been steadilyprogrammed to help you avoid
the awkwardness.
So it's totally normal thatthis prescription kind of sounds
(03:49):
like a terrible idea.
But I bet you that if you beton yourself and nudge yourself
through some of these activitiesthat we're going to cover today
, you're going to see a glow uplike you didn't even know it was
possible.
So hear me out.
But I mean, maybe you're right,maybe this isn't for you, maybe
you need a little more time inthe oven nurturing the place
(04:11):
that you are in this phase ofyour life that you're in, so you
can think of it as things tocome.
But if you are jonesing forsome change and you're ready to
learn how to step into the newyou, well then you're in the
right place and this is theright time, because awkwardness,
it's just confidence in atraining bra.
You know, confidence is the endgoal here, but if you're
(04:34):
waiting to stop cringing beforeyou start living, you're going
to be waiting forever.
So, on that note, let's have alook at the signs that you are
ready, and you might bewondering how do I even know I'm
ready to break free from thepeople pleasing.
So here are some signs.
(04:58):
First, you're exhausted.
Okay, you've been carryingother people's expectations and
you believe that the whole worldwants you at your best all the
time.
And you believe that the wholeworld wants you at your best all
the time.
It's heavy and it's invisibleand you're pooped and no amount
of sleep seems to take that away.
Then this is probably why, oryou start noticing that silence
feels heavier than honesty.
And this one is tricky Becauseat one time, for people pleasers
(05:21):
, silence was golden.
These vibes were tight, thewaters were calm and we could
just keep to ourselves, becausewe're busy tuning into what
other people need.
But as we pull away from thatpart of our identity and start
having our own opinions.
What a novel idea, right?
And when we know what ourvalues are and someone breaches
(05:43):
these brand spanking newboundaries, we all of a sudden
wanna protect our values andtake up more space.
But it starts with a whisper.
The silence gets loud.
Your inside voice has somethingto say and that silence just
doesn't feel right anymore.
It's kind of cool when younotice it and if you don't say
anything in that moment, that'sokay, you've noticed it, that's
(06:06):
the win.
You might do something differentthe next time.
Or maybe it's moreobservational, like you started
noticing yourself, envying orreally admiring people who you
know put themselves out thereand own their quirks.
And you're, you know, attractedto more people who are really
showing up in their own skin,like that girl that you follow
(06:26):
on Instagram who's able to justshow up day after day, say
what's on her mind and be sillyand have no makeup and her
background is just kind ofwhatever.
And you're like how does she dothat?
Yeah, that that's your inner,you coveting that confidence and
that courage.
And that doesn't mean that youhave to run out and become an
internet star, but that's thething that might be triggering
(06:49):
the signal.
You feel a tug, you feel aquiet voice saying wouldn't it
be nice if you could just showup that vulnerable and I mean
showing up vulnerable can looklike a lot of different things,
you know, because it's youversus you in your own head.
So, like I remember, once I worethis outfit that was way bolder
than my usual vibe.
(07:10):
The dress code to my depressionat the time was blacks, grays,
sweatpants, dress code for workand then pajamas at home.
That was kind of it.
So the day that I showed up inthis like big, bold, beautiful
dress, it was definitely kind ofoutside my comfort.
The day that I showed up inthis like big, bold, beautiful
dress, it was definitely kind ofoutside my comfort zone because
I'd taken the sewing class andI'd made this dress and it was
(07:33):
wild for me.
Right, it was a stretch, it wasa bright color, a bold pattern.
I wore it with mustard yellowshoes super cute.
But it made me feel loud andwalking out of the house, I
swear I felt like I was glowingneon, like everyone was staring,
and you know what?
Nobody cared, nobody evennoticed.
(07:56):
Maybe one person said, hey,nice dress.
But here's what hit me.
Most people are too busyworrying about their own outfits
or if there's spinach in theirteeth to judge mine.
Classic people please theirbrain, thinking the world
spotlight's always on you andyou're always being measured.
And that day taught mesomething when you start
listening to what you wantinstead of how you look, life
(08:18):
gets a little lighter, likethink about the last time that
you saw someone being fullythemselves, like whether it was
dancing like a fool at a weddingor showing up in neon green
Crocs.
Did you secretly admire them?
Or maybe it showed up as somequiet envy Babe.
That's not judgment, that'syour spirit saying it's your
(08:40):
turn, which sets us up perfectlyto talk about the next part,
which is what it feels like.
But I'm not gonna sugarcoat thisBreaking through into your true
self doesn't feel likestrutting down a runway with
wind machines and theme music.
I mean, the good news is thateventually it does feel that way
.
But at first we have to passthrough the forest of
(09:04):
awkwardness and you'll knowyou're there and in the game.
Because it feels awkward Likejeans out of the dryer tight,
stiff, uncomfortable,everything's familiar but just a
little bit different.
Or like when you cross yourarms oops, I just hit the
microphone.
When you cross your arms andthen put the other hand on top,
(09:26):
like, and then that feels weird,right, it feels off, and as
you're breaking through it canfeel lonely at first, because
there's going to be a minutewhere your comfort zone crew
might not get it and your newpeople?
Well, you haven't found themyet.
And this is your reminder tokeep going, keep saying yes to
opportunities and keep lookingfor your tribe.
(09:49):
And the coolest thing you wantto look for is that it kind of
feels electric.
There's like this hum underyour skin saying something's
different, something is changing.
It's not good or bad, it's asensation, but you got to listen
for it.
There's a reason that I openevery episode with a reminder to
(10:11):
get tuned in, tapped in, turnedon, because that's where you
find that electric hum, thatstrut in your step, the smile
that you just can't shake.
You know it's more than onething, but it can feel tough
when you're in the middle of theforest of awkwardness.
Just think of it as the messymiddle.
And if this is your first timein the forest of awkwardness, I
(10:34):
got you, and if you've been herebefore, then you can testify
that there is another side to it.
But we will revisit it becausewe will keep growing and
changing.
We just won't spend as longthere.
Like I remember, in one of myvery first workshops I
(10:55):
completely tripped over theentire intro.
It was word salad.
My face went hot, my cheekswent red and I just thought, oh
my God, they're gonna think I'man imposter.
And guess what?
Nobody cared and a few peoplesmile and we're like same girl,
same, and some even leaned in abit more because I was being
real instead of perfect and Iprobably said something like
(11:16):
sarcastic and silly and kind ofbroke the ice after that.
But I thought that myawkwardness would push people
away.
But it actually made me morerelatable and that's the wild
thing.
Awkwardness is magnetic.
Everyone feels it.
So when you own it, peopleconnect to you more.
So what we know is that awkwardis the gateway drug to
(11:38):
authenticity.
Think of cringe as cardio foryour soul.
It burns at first, but damndoes it build stamina.
Think of how untouchable youwill feel when you don't give a
shit about things that don'tmatter and you've determined
what matters and what doesn'tmatter because you've figured
that out about yourself.
And this breaking through itdoes not feel like Beyonce in
(12:01):
full choreography, it feels likeBambi on ice, blindfolded.
But Bambi grows up and so willyou, okay.
So all this red carpet and noshow.
You're here to learn how tobreak through.
So let's get practical.
Let's look at how to stopletting awkwardness hold us back
.
Step one name it, call it whatit is.
(12:25):
Say this feels awkward becauseit's new, not because it's wrong
, and remember those words andthat distinction.
Because language matters.
You stop labeling thesefeelings as failure and start
rebranding it as growth.
This is what growing feels like, and when you change that
language, you're not going tofeel the resistance like you did
(12:48):
before.
Step two micro dares.
I like to call these tinyrebellions.
Here's what you do.
You just say no to something.
Just say to yourself okay, I'mgoing to say no to something by
noon or maybe you've beenworking on all this inside, glow
up and you're ready for theoutside to match.
So go and wear that outfit thatyou've been saving for someday
(13:11):
and like, go grocery shopping init, walk around the mall, take
yourself out for a drink alone,with no phone.
These little nudges set thestage for bigger things.
And, like I remember the firsttime I said no to something that
I really didn't want to do, andit wasn't even big, it was like
declining a casual invite.
(13:32):
But, oh my god, the guiltspiral was super real and I
replayed it in my head for hours, waiting for somebody to call
me like selfish or ask me amillion questions.
And you know what happened.
Ask me a million questions andyou know what happened.
(13:53):
Yeah, fucking crickets, nothing.
They said, okay, cool, and thatwas it, End of story.
The earth kept spinning and, ohmy God, I felt like I could
breathe again.
But it was awkward at first,but it was 100% worth it.
So it's not about necessarilygoing out and becoming a clown.
That's not what awkwardnessnecessarily has to mean.
It could just be that sensationof stepping outside of your
(14:16):
comfort zone and then, as you'redoing this mindfully, you're
going to notice how it feels.
So you can do it intentionallyand get your reps in, and that's
step number three.
So you can do it intentionallyand get your reps in, and that's
step number three.
You want to build your cringemuscle.
Awkwardness is like the gym themore reps you do, the more you
pass through the forest ofawkwardness.
So if the confidence is whatyou want to greet you on the
(14:38):
other side of this forest.
You got to lift awkwardsituations until they feel light
.
Start with a five pound weight,say hi to a stranger, wear
bigger earrings and, you know,work your way up from there.
And our brains like data when weare rewiring ourselves into a
(15:00):
new pattern of thought and newpattern of behavior.
So we want to collect evidence.
So that's step number four,because the brain loves proof.
If you're going to overthink,might as well do it in your own
advantage.
You're going to write downevery awkward moment that you
have survived up until now,whether it was that weird
presentation or that post thatwas kind of weird and you didn't
(15:22):
really understand it, or thathorrible first date, or that
time you mispronounced a wordnewsflash you lived.
And then use that evidence toremind yourself that awkwardness
won't actually kill you,despite what your nervous system
is trying to tell you about it.
(15:43):
And in step number five, youwant to find expanders.
These are the people that willcreate a safe space for you to
be you and from the sounds of it, it's not your current circle.
Get around people who normalizeauthenticity.
Borrow their bravery untilyou've built your own.
We all need expanders.
(16:05):
It's like being around acampfire.
You don't have to be the spark.
You just have to get closeenough to feel the warmth.
Courage can be contagious andwhen applied properly, it can
skyrocket your path to beingpost-cringe.
But, steve, I'm more that I trythis and nothing changes.
Yeah, because you've probablytried a million things already
(16:27):
and nothing's really clicked.
Well, ask these people if theyregret leaning into the awkward
Famous people.
We got Oprah fired from herfirst TV job.
She was told she wasn't a fitfor television.
Imagine if she let that awkwardfailure stop her.
M'lady Gaga mocked for hercostumes like from the get-go.
(16:50):
Now she's a celebrated fashionicon, among many other things,
for the exact same thing thatshe was teased for, and she's
totally still ripped to shredsall over the place, as much as
she is exalted.
But does she look like shecares?
Or Queen Brene Brown?
After her TED talk onvulnerability, she had what she
(17:12):
calls a vulnerability hangoverand she said it was so bad she
had to hide under the bed.
But that talk becamelife-changing for her, and you
don't have to have a bluecheckmark next to your name to
be an everyday hero.
I'm talking about the woman whofinally said I don't drink at a
party.
Full stop period, no furtherquestions your honor.
(17:34):
Or the entrepreneur wholaunched their shaky first
Instagram reel Do it your way,do it messy, but if you're in
the game, just do it.
Oh, that's a good slogan.
I should write that down.
Or the guy who went to therapy,despite the short-sighted jokes
from his friends and familyDicks, Everybody should have a
(17:54):
good therapist.
Anyway, awkward is the tollbooth.
Pay it, pass through and get onwith your glow up, because
you're not here in this life tobe Bambi on ice forever.
Your Beyonce days are ahead ofyou if you want them to be.
It just takes some practice toget there, because all these
(18:14):
people who are living the livesthat you wish you had, no matter
how good they look, they didnot wake up that way.
They went through their forestof awkwardness.
I guarantee you that.
So here's what I want you totake away Awkwardness is not a
sign that you are failing.
It is a sign that you aregrowing.
Every time, you feel that stingof discomfort, that flush of
(18:38):
embarrassment, that moment oflike oh my God, what do they
think?
You are standing in the doorwayof transformation, which sounds
way cooler than oh my god, I'mgoing to die.
So your homework this week ispick one micro dare a tiny
rebellion against the old you,something that makes you blush,
(18:58):
but not bolt, and then do thething and then write it down and
then collect that evidence andif you're brave, you're going to
DM me and you're going to tellme what you did and we can
celebrate you, because you'renot alone in this.
You're just in your brave era,and brave always starts awkward,
and brave by definition meansthat there's a little bit of
(19:19):
fear behind it, so it hasnothing to do with being ready.
So I micro dare you.
So I micro dare you.
Oh, what do you know?
And just like that, you gotyour very own pocket full of
mojo.
If this episode lit a littlefire under your butt, you should
(19:40):
share it with a friend.
Maybe they're stuck in theircomfort zone and need a little
nudge, and I don't know.
You could leave a review.
Helps me get the mojo out there.
The world is actually dependingon it.
And remember, awkwardness isn'tthere to hold you back, it's
there to push you forward.
So go out there and begloriously, magnificently
awkward, because on the otherside of cringe is your
(20:04):
confidence and on the other sideof confidence is freedom.
Until next time, keep yourpocket full of mojo and your
awkward dial turned all the wayup to 11,.
Man, that's it for me.
I'm out of here Until next time, my peeps, ciao, for now, love
you, mwah.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.