January 24, 2025 • 20 mins
This episode digs into the essence of self-awareness, highlighting its important role in overcoming people-pleasing tendencies and rediscovering one's authentic self. You will learn to identify patterns of over-giving, understand the significance of core values, and explore practical tools to reclaim their power.
• Exploring the concept of self-awareness
• Identifying signs of people-pleasing behaviors
• Understanding the role of core values
• Aligning actions with personal values
• Practical strategies for self-discovery
• Key takeaways for empowerment and authenticity
Make sure to share your self-awareness breakthroughs on Instagram or in the comments!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
have you ever paused to ask yourself am I doing this
because I want to or because Ifeel like I should?
If you sometimes suffer fromthe exhaustion of always saying
yes, or maybe the frustration oflosing yourself in other
people's needs, then this is foryou.
By the end of this episode,you're going to walk away with
(00:31):
clarity, empowerment and havepractical tools to get started
on your very own self-awarenessadventure.
Welcome to Pocketful of Mojo,where you're, you and I.
I'm Steph, and we tune in hereto tap into some mojo.
And if you're new here andasking what's mojo, it's a fair
(00:52):
question.
You see, mojo is that feelingof unshakable confidence, that
booming self-worth.
Like you're an unstoppableforce of nature, and I'm here
how to show you how you can havethat feeling every single day.
You see, I think I've crackedthe code to being happy.
I'm happy all the freaking time, almost every day, usually most
(01:13):
of the day, possibly to anannoying degree.
But hey, I wasn't always thisway, not to flex, but I have had
multiple breakdowns on multiplecontinents and in two languages
.
Look, three years ago, my lifedumpster fire.
But now I'm better than I'veever been.
How Well, by paying attentionand living with more intention.
(01:35):
And I've created this self-lovefirst aid kit, and it's full of
amazing tools that help melevel up my life and navigate
life with that main characterenergy.
And I'm not here to gatekeep.
In fact, I'm on a mission tohelp you tap into your best
stuff and remember that you haveeverything that you need to
live your life on your own terms.
In today's episode, we're goingto be discussing how
(01:59):
self-awareness is the foundationof any transformation.
We're going to learn how toidentify if you're people
pleasing, understand your corevalues and how to reconnect with
your real self so you can breakfree from the cycle of
overgiving and start living alife that feels aligned,
fulfilling and empowering.
So settle in.
(02:20):
We're here for some positivechange, so let's dig in to where
your mojo meets the road.
Hello and welcome to the firstepisode of the second season of
Pocketful of Mojo.
And once again, I'm Steph.
I'm your mojo maven, youremotional Sherpa, that friend
(02:42):
you can talk to about yourfeelings, and I'm so glad you're
here.
Quick reminder am I a therapist?
No, do I have a degree inpsychology?
Also, no, I'm a flawed humanand a recovering people pleaser
who has just figured out how totap into our best stuff we are
literally born with everythingwe need.
So I'm here to reflect yourawesomeness back to you, so we
(03:04):
can smash those limiting beliefsand hook up some inspiration
and motivation to live the lifeyou love and love the life you
live you in.
Let's go.
Let's start with a quick mantraand set the stage for a great
show.
So this week, our mantra is Iam consistently bridging the gap
between my values and my words.
(03:25):
Okay, so this one is on pointwith our mission today.
So let's dig in.
I am consistently bridging thegap between my values and my
words.
You know, I love a good.
I am mantra.
And it roots us in thatownership that gets you right
back to yourself and yourmindset and all that this meat
(03:47):
suit provides.
And what's great about thismantra is that it meets us where
we're at.
It identifies that we are humanbeings that are consistently in
the flow of change, growth andongoing and expanding awareness
of how much we're actually incharge of this little shit show.
Expanding awareness of how muchwe're actually in charge of
this little shit show.
(04:07):
It acknowledges that we areflawed, imperfect people that,
with a little bit of grace and awhole lot of mojo, can be
empowered to live in alignmentwith who we really want to be.
Because what we know is thatwhen there's a gap between who
we are and what we say or do,there's a disconnect, and this
mantra helps us remember that,with that added awareness, we
(04:27):
can live a life of more peace,ease and confidence.
When we reduce that gap, I amconsistently bridging the gap
between my values and my words.
Look, we've all said yes tosomething that we didn't want to
do, for plenty of reasons Tokeep the peace, to get it done
right, obligation, or maybe wesaid yes to curry favor, make
(04:51):
someone like us been there.
But the thing of that is isthat it takes more from your cup
than it fills.
We try and convince ourselvesthat we do it because we're nice
people and we're good people.
Convince ourselves that we doit because we're nice people and
we're good people.
But I'm here to tell you thatgood people, nice people, know
(05:11):
how to say no to things theydon't want to do, to things they
don't feel like doing, tothings that don't serve them.
Happens all the time.
Just look around.
So when we have this newawareness, we can identify the
times that there's a gap betweenwhat we want and what we say or
do, then we can stand a muchbetter chance of getting back on
track and in alignment withwhat we know to be good for us,
(05:33):
true to us and tune into who wewant to be.
I am consistently bridging thegap between my values and my
words.
Well, how are we going to knowif we've bridged the gap between
my values and my words?
Well, how are we going to knowif we've bridged the gap?
Well, by keeping this mantraclose by and repeating it every
time we think we're floating offcourse, you're going to start
to feel a shift, a little weeboost of empowerment, an aha
(05:56):
moment where you're going tocatch yourself about to say yes
to something you don't want todo, but this time you check in
with yourself and you say, oh,this is what Steph was talking
about.
You're bridging the gap.
We're going to unpack this alittle further.
So let's settle in and gettuned in, tapped in and turned
on.
I am consistently bridging thegap between my values and my
(06:21):
words.
When it comes to the importanceof self-awareness, it is at the
(06:41):
heart of all things, mojo.
So let's have a look at whatself-awareness is exactly.
So, self-awareness is yourability to understand your own
thoughts, your own feelings, aswell as what motivates and
drives you, unapologetically ofcourse, and when it comes to who
you are, you owe no one anexplanation because there's no
(07:04):
one else like you.
No one else has your experience, your education, your family,
your hopes, your dreams just you.
You're inherently incomparable.
Remember that.
Now, the key for peoplepleasers, like most recovery
programs, is to first realizethat it's a problem.
When you're able to take a beatand look at who you are and
(07:27):
realize that maybe there's apattern of overgiving.
If yes has become an autoresponse or just what comes out
of your mouth to combat theguilt or fear of rejection, then
you're in the right place.
I know.
For me, the aha moment reallycame when someone pointed out
that people pleasers are oftenthe people who take the time to
(07:48):
make eye contact with the flightcrew when giving the safety
presentation before a flight,because they want to be
considered a good traveler.
Like what?
What?
The actual fuck is that?
I'm sorry, that's nonsense.
Now don't get me wrong.
Paying attention to that isvery important and it's the
right thing to do, but whatmakes it people pleasing is the
(08:11):
intention.
I was not watching the flightcrew intently, because I'm
passionate about flight safety.
I was watching to get theapproval of those people in
charge.
It's the intention that setsoff the people pleaser alarm.
So it was thanks to thatself-awareness and interrogating
my intention that I was able toreveal just how many times that
(08:33):
kind of behavior was showing upin my life.
So let's get practical and havea look at how to identify when
you're people pleasing.
Here is a few signs that youmight be peopleasing.
Number one you say yes when youwant to say no.
This is often an indicator thatyou're not only people-pleasing
(08:54):
, but you're also not standingup for yourself or have
established any boundaries.
Some people say yes instead ofsaying no simply because they
don't have anything else to do.
So why not help someone else?
Well, my darling Mojarino,that's not how agreements work
exactly.
Let me explain.
You're missing a filter.
(09:15):
You're missing the filter thatsifts through the requests
coming your way and asks thequestion does this align with
the life I want to be living?
Does this feed my goals and mymission, or is this just
something that I want to do, oram I just available?
Well, good news, magoo, you getto say no.
(09:35):
Try it on, see how it fits.
Maybe it's number two.
Maybe you feel resentment orburned out after helping other
people, or maybe you get grumpyas you're getting prepared to
help someone out and you'rerunning through the list of
things that you wish you couldbe doing instead, I've got you.
Or maybe number three maybeyou're over apologizing or over
explaining your decisions, andthis one has an antidote.
(09:57):
It's called confidence, orgiving zero fucks, and there's a
teeny question that you can askyourself to set yourself free.
The other antidote that's alittle less abrasive and more
accessible is to ask yourself asimple question what would
happen if I said no?
After you get through thenonsense that your brain is
going to feed you, that theworld is going to end and your
(10:19):
relationships are going tocrumble and I can tell you that
it won't and you won't you'llfind that there is very often
little consequence to saying no,especially when you weigh them
against the personalconsequences of saying yes when
you don't want to Fear.
Not fair friends.
You're with your people now andtoday.
(10:40):
We're going to get into it.
But, steph, I'm a nice personand I really like doing nice
things for other nice people,and to that I say do you, and
also being nice and being apeople pleaser are not mutually
exclusive.
So let's dig into understandingyour core values and we're
(11:01):
going to look at what values areand why do they matter.
We're going to look at valuesas your internal compass.
You know that thing that weused to use before GPS Because
your values guide your decisions, they shape your priorities and
they influence how you show upin the world.
You can think of them as corebeliefs that are in charge.
They're in charge of what'struly important to you, like
(11:25):
honesty, freedom, kindness,growth, connection.
They're not just nice ideas.
It's what makes you likehonesty, freedom, kindness,
growth, connection.
They're not just nice ideas.
It's what makes you you Okay,cool, but why does it matter?
Well, when you live inalignment with your values, life
feels more meaningful, yourchoices feel authentic, your
energy flows naturally and youend up feeling more fulfilled.
And on the flip side, when yougo against your values whether
(11:49):
that's saying yes when you meanno, or staying in situations
that don't feel right it createsfriction.
That's when you feel stuck,stressed or out of sync with
yourself.
Look, values matter because theyhelp you stay true to who you
are, even when life gets messy.
They give you clarity when youhave to make a tough decision,
and they show you where yourboundaries should be and remind
(12:12):
you what's worth your time andenergy and what's not.
Most importantly, they connectyou to a life that feels right,
not for everybody else, but foryou.
Living to tune into your valuesisn't just about being happy,
it's about being whole.
You got to first know what yourvalues are in order to honor
them, and only then can youunlock a life that feels
(12:33):
grounded, powerful and 100%authentic.
No one doesn't want that.
There's this really cool studythat was done in 2000.
And it was intended to linkperformance, happiness and the
alignment of personal values.
And they introduced theself-determination theory.
And it found out that peoplewho pursue their goals in
(12:55):
activity that are in alignmentwith their intrinsic values so
like personal growth and humanconnection they reported higher
levels of satisfaction,happiness and overall well-being
compared to the people whochased things like money, fame
and outside approval Interestingright.
So this study was really coolbecause it also showed that the
(13:18):
people that were acting inalignment with their intrinsic
values, they not only had betterperformance, but they could
sustain it over a longer periodof time more consistently.
And isn't that what we're alltrying to do in one way or
another.
Anyone else want to pass theirunpredictable roller coaster?
Pass and give it back.
Yeah, this is the way.
(13:39):
Who knew that the game changerwould be something as simple as
our little old values?
But here's a little advice thatmy mom used to give me.
Just because it's simpledoesn't mean it's easy, but I
guarantee you doing values workwith yourself always worth it.
So here's an activity that youcan do to give your relationship
(14:02):
with your values a glow up.
Quick exercise Think about atime that you felt really
fulfilled.
What values were at play?
I think about it when I'mtraveling.
So it's my independence, myfreedom, my sense of adventure,
my sense of play, and it's allin full force when I'm in my
happy, nomad world.
And with every yin there's ayang right.
(14:24):
So be sure to do part two.
Think of a time when you werefrustrated or conflicted.
What values were being violated.
This makes me think of any time.
There's like a double standardor hypocrisy, and I'm a woman in
the 21st century, so it happensmore often than I'd like.
But it's my value for justiceand fairness that gets trampled
(14:45):
on when those things happen, andit's not cute.
So how do we protect our values, boundaries, babes but that's
another podcast for another day.
But that's another podcast foranother day.
So, when it comes toreconnecting with our authentic
self, now that we know thatpeople pleasing disconnects us
from who we really are, we getto pivot.
(15:06):
And now we get to take the timeto reconnect with our real self
.
So here's a few tips on how todo it Spend some time alone.
Reflect on what you want.
How to do it.
Spend some time alone.
Reflect on what you want.
This may take some time.
I remember someone asking methis at the peak of my
people-pleasing era and someonewas like, what do you want?
And I was like, uh, I don'tknow, but that will pass.
(15:31):
You can journal or meditate toexplore your feelings and to dig
into what your desires reallyare, and you can start to
practice small acts ofself-expression, like speaking
up or making decisions based onyour preferences.
My advice start small.
Instead of saying I'm fine withwhatever.
Next time someone asks youwhere you want to go to eat, try
(15:53):
actually advocating for whatyou want.
It'll feel like a bigger thingthan it is, but the stakes are
low.
So you can try not keeping thepeace for once and see how it
feels to honor what you want.
Spoiler alert feels really good, and it's a great thing to be
good at.
Another thing you can do,starting right now, is when
(16:13):
you're brushing your teethbefore going to bed at night,
ask yourself what did I do formyself today?
And it's a great way to keepgetting to know yourself and get
good at rewarding yourself forprioritizing your values in your
day-to-day life.
So if you want to look atpractical takeaways, here's a
quick recap.
Number one self-awareness isyour superpower.
(16:35):
Own it.
Number one self-awareness isyour superpower.
Own it.
Looks good on you.
Number two recognize thatpeople pleasing has a pattern.
Most of us have them.
They are sneaky, so keep youreyes peeled.
And number three align youractions with your core values.
My challenge for you this weekpause before you say yes to
(16:58):
anything and ask is this what Itruly want?
Because, my dear friends, themore self-aware you become, the
more empowered you'll feel tomake decisions that honor your
needs, your values and yourtruth.
Doesn't that sound nice?
Think of how it would changeyour life if that were true.
Because remember, it's notselfish, it's necessary.
Be sure to share yourself-awareness breakthroughs on
(17:19):
the Instagram or in the comments.
And why not tag me?
I'm a great cheerleader and, ifyou're here, I'm already a big
fan of yours, so you can alsotake the Mojo quiz, which will
guide you down some differentrows and give you some aha
moments of where you can startto take your personal journey
even further, and it'll help youget there faster.
(17:39):
And if you want to know moreabout Mojo, have I got something
for you?
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They are natural, they aredelicious, they are affordable,
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(18:26):
Thank you so much for tuning intoday and remember, wherever you
are on your mojo journey,you're not alone.
You've got everything you needand you're doing great.
So be sure to tune in next weekwhen we add a very powerful
tool to our toolbox, and I'mtalking about boundaries, baby.
Now that we have our valuesaligned, we got to know how to
(18:46):
protect them.
So we're going to dig into thatnext week.
So you know what to do.
You're going to like, share,subscribe, comment, because
that's all good for Juju.
And be sure to come find me onthe Instagram, where there's
lots of cool links here or inthe show notes, so browse to
your heart's content.
Don't forget to click that 15%off code.
(19:07):
If you are ready to shake thebrain fog and stepped into your
productivity era, get yourselfsome of those mojo gummies.
So that's it for today.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Be sure to come back next weekand share this with all your
friends who may be somewhere onthat people pleasing spectrum.
But until next time, stayclassy, stay kind and put love
(19:27):
in everything you do.
Ciao for now, thank you.
have you ever paused to ask yourself am I doing this
because I want to or because Ifeel like I should?
If you sometimes suffer fromthe exhaustion of always saying
yes, or maybe the frustration oflosing yourself in other
people's needs, then this is foryou.
By the end of this episode,you're going to walk away with
(00:31):
clarity, empowerment and havepractical tools to get started
on your very own self-awarenessadventure.
Welcome to Pocketful of Mojo,where you're, you and I.
I'm Steph, and we tune in hereto tap into some mojo.
And if you're new here andasking what's mojo, it's a fair
(00:52):
question.
You see, mojo is that feelingof unshakable confidence, that
booming self-worth.
Like you're an unstoppableforce of nature, and I'm here
how to show you how you can havethat feeling every single day.
You see, I think I've crackedthe code to being happy.
I'm happy all the freaking time, almost every day, usually most
(01:13):
of the day, possibly to anannoying degree.
But hey, I wasn't always thisway, not to flex, but I have had
multiple breakdowns on multiplecontinents and in two languages
.
Look, three years ago, my lifedumpster fire.
But now I'm better than I'veever been.
How Well, by paying attentionand living with more intention.
(01:35):
And I've created this self-lovefirst aid kit, and it's full of
amazing tools that help melevel up my life and navigate
life with that main characterenergy.
And I'm not here to gatekeep.
In fact, I'm on a mission tohelp you tap into your best
stuff and remember that you haveeverything that you need to
live your life on your own terms.
In today's episode, we're goingto be discussing how
(01:59):
self-awareness is the foundationof any transformation.
We're going to learn how toidentify if you're people
pleasing, understand your corevalues and how to reconnect with
your real self so you can breakfree from the cycle of
overgiving and start living alife that feels aligned,
fulfilling and empowering.
So settle in.
(02:20):
We're here for some positivechange, so let's dig in to where
your mojo meets the road.
Hello and welcome to the firstepisode of the second season of
Pocketful of Mojo.
And once again, I'm Steph.
I'm your mojo maven, youremotional Sherpa, that friend
(02:42):
you can talk to about yourfeelings, and I'm so glad you're
here.
Quick reminder am I a therapist?
No, do I have a degree inpsychology?
Also, no, I'm a flawed humanand a recovering people pleaser
who has just figured out how totap into our best stuff we are
literally born with everythingwe need.
So I'm here to reflect yourawesomeness back to you, so we
(03:04):
can smash those limiting beliefsand hook up some inspiration
and motivation to live the lifeyou love and love the life you
live you in.
Let's go.
Let's start with a quick mantraand set the stage for a great
show.
So this week, our mantra is Iam consistently bridging the gap
between my values and my words.
(03:25):
Okay, so this one is on pointwith our mission today.
So let's dig in.
I am consistently bridging thegap between my values and my
words.
You know, I love a good.
I am mantra.
And it roots us in thatownership that gets you right
back to yourself and yourmindset and all that this meat
(03:47):
suit provides.
And what's great about thismantra is that it meets us where
we're at.
It identifies that we are humanbeings that are consistently in
the flow of change, growth andongoing and expanding awareness
of how much we're actually incharge of this little shit show.
Expanding awareness of how muchwe're actually in charge of
this little shit show.
(04:07):
It acknowledges that we areflawed, imperfect people that,
with a little bit of grace and awhole lot of mojo, can be
empowered to live in alignmentwith who we really want to be.
Because what we know is thatwhen there's a gap between who
we are and what we say or do,there's a disconnect, and this
mantra helps us remember that,with that added awareness, we
(04:27):
can live a life of more peace,ease and confidence.
When we reduce that gap, I amconsistently bridging the gap
between my values and my words.
Look, we've all said yes tosomething that we didn't want to
do, for plenty of reasons Tokeep the peace, to get it done
right, obligation, or maybe wesaid yes to curry favor, make
(04:51):
someone like us been there.
But the thing of that is isthat it takes more from your cup
than it fills.
We try and convince ourselvesthat we do it because we're nice
people and we're good people.
Convince ourselves that we doit because we're nice people and
we're good people.
But I'm here to tell you thatgood people, nice people, know
(05:11):
how to say no to things theydon't want to do, to things they
don't feel like doing, tothings that don't serve them.
Happens all the time.
Just look around.
So when we have this newawareness, we can identify the
times that there's a gap betweenwhat we want and what we say or
do, then we can stand a muchbetter chance of getting back on
track and in alignment withwhat we know to be good for us,
(05:33):
true to us and tune into who wewant to be.
I am consistently bridging thegap between my values and my
words.
Well, how are we going to knowif we've bridged the gap between
my values and my words?
Well, how are we going to knowif we've bridged the gap?
Well, by keeping this mantraclose by and repeating it every
time we think we're floating offcourse, you're going to start
to feel a shift, a little weeboost of empowerment, an aha
(05:56):
moment where you're going tocatch yourself about to say yes
to something you don't want todo, but this time you check in
with yourself and you say, oh,this is what Steph was talking
about.
You're bridging the gap.
We're going to unpack this alittle further.
So let's settle in and gettuned in, tapped in and turned
on.
I am consistently bridging thegap between my values and my
(06:21):
words.
When it comes to the importanceof self-awareness, it is at the
(06:41):
heart of all things, mojo.
So let's have a look at whatself-awareness is exactly.
So, self-awareness is yourability to understand your own
thoughts, your own feelings, aswell as what motivates and
drives you, unapologetically ofcourse, and when it comes to who
you are, you owe no one anexplanation because there's no
(07:04):
one else like you.
No one else has your experience, your education, your family,
your hopes, your dreams just you.
You're inherently incomparable.
Remember that.
Now, the key for peoplepleasers, like most recovery
programs, is to first realizethat it's a problem.
When you're able to take a beatand look at who you are and
(07:27):
realize that maybe there's apattern of overgiving.
If yes has become an autoresponse or just what comes out
of your mouth to combat theguilt or fear of rejection, then
you're in the right place.
I know.
For me, the aha moment reallycame when someone pointed out
that people pleasers are oftenthe people who take the time to
(07:48):
make eye contact with the flightcrew when giving the safety
presentation before a flight,because they want to be
considered a good traveler.
Like what?
What?
The actual fuck is that?
I'm sorry, that's nonsense.
Now don't get me wrong.
Paying attention to that isvery important and it's the
right thing to do, but whatmakes it people pleasing is the
(08:11):
intention.
I was not watching the flightcrew intently, because I'm
passionate about flight safety.
I was watching to get theapproval of those people in
charge.
It's the intention that setsoff the people pleaser alarm.
So it was thanks to thatself-awareness and interrogating
my intention that I was able toreveal just how many times that
(08:33):
kind of behavior was showing upin my life.
So let's get practical and havea look at how to identify when
you're people pleasing.
Here is a few signs that youmight be peopleasing.
Number one you say yes when youwant to say no.
This is often an indicator thatyou're not only people-pleasing
(08:54):
, but you're also not standingup for yourself or have
established any boundaries.
Some people say yes instead ofsaying no simply because they
don't have anything else to do.
So why not help someone else?
Well, my darling Mojarino,that's not how agreements work
exactly.
Let me explain.
You're missing a filter.
(09:15):
You're missing the filter thatsifts through the requests
coming your way and asks thequestion does this align with
the life I want to be living?
Does this feed my goals and mymission, or is this just
something that I want to do, oram I just available?
Well, good news, magoo, you getto say no.
(09:35):
Try it on, see how it fits.
Maybe it's number two.
Maybe you feel resentment orburned out after helping other
people, or maybe you get grumpyas you're getting prepared to
help someone out and you'rerunning through the list of
things that you wish you couldbe doing instead, I've got you.
Or maybe number three maybeyou're over apologizing or over
explaining your decisions, andthis one has an antidote.
(09:57):
It's called confidence, orgiving zero fucks, and there's a
teeny question that you can askyourself to set yourself free.
The other antidote that's alittle less abrasive and more
accessible is to ask yourself asimple question what would
happen if I said no?
After you get through thenonsense that your brain is
going to feed you, that theworld is going to end and your
(10:19):
relationships are going tocrumble and I can tell you that
it won't and you won't you'llfind that there is very often
little consequence to saying no,especially when you weigh them
against the personalconsequences of saying yes when
you don't want to Fear.
Not fair friends.
You're with your people now andtoday.
(10:40):
We're going to get into it.
But, steph, I'm a nice personand I really like doing nice
things for other nice people,and to that I say do you, and
also being nice and being apeople pleaser are not mutually
exclusive.
So let's dig into understandingyour core values and we're
(11:01):
going to look at what values areand why do they matter.
We're going to look at valuesas your internal compass.
You know that thing that weused to use before GPS Because
your values guide your decisions, they shape your priorities and
they influence how you show upin the world.
You can think of them as corebeliefs that are in charge.
They're in charge of what'struly important to you, like
(11:25):
honesty, freedom, kindness,growth, connection.
They're not just nice ideas.
It's what makes you likehonesty, freedom, kindness,
growth, connection.
They're not just nice ideas.
It's what makes you you Okay,cool, but why does it matter?
Well, when you live inalignment with your values, life
feels more meaningful, yourchoices feel authentic, your
energy flows naturally and youend up feeling more fulfilled.
And on the flip side, when yougo against your values whether
(11:49):
that's saying yes when you meanno, or staying in situations
that don't feel right it createsfriction.
That's when you feel stuck,stressed or out of sync with
yourself.
Look, values matter because theyhelp you stay true to who you
are, even when life gets messy.
They give you clarity when youhave to make a tough decision,
and they show you where yourboundaries should be and remind
(12:12):
you what's worth your time andenergy and what's not.
Most importantly, they connectyou to a life that feels right,
not for everybody else, but foryou.
Living to tune into your valuesisn't just about being happy,
it's about being whole.
You got to first know what yourvalues are in order to honor
them, and only then can youunlock a life that feels
(12:33):
grounded, powerful and 100%authentic.
No one doesn't want that.
There's this really cool studythat was done in 2000.
And it was intended to linkperformance, happiness and the
alignment of personal values.
And they introduced theself-determination theory.
And it found out that peoplewho pursue their goals in
(12:55):
activity that are in alignmentwith their intrinsic values so
like personal growth and humanconnection they reported higher
levels of satisfaction,happiness and overall well-being
compared to the people whochased things like money, fame
and outside approval Interestingright.
So this study was really coolbecause it also showed that the
(13:18):
people that were acting inalignment with their intrinsic
values, they not only had betterperformance, but they could
sustain it over a longer periodof time more consistently.
And isn't that what we're alltrying to do in one way or
another.
Anyone else want to pass theirunpredictable roller coaster?
Pass and give it back.
Yeah, this is the way.
(13:39):
Who knew that the game changerwould be something as simple as
our little old values?
But here's a little advice thatmy mom used to give me.
Just because it's simpledoesn't mean it's easy, but I
guarantee you doing values workwith yourself always worth it.
So here's an activity that youcan do to give your relationship
(14:02):
with your values a glow up.
Quick exercise Think about atime that you felt really
fulfilled.
What values were at play?
I think about it when I'mtraveling.
So it's my independence, myfreedom, my sense of adventure,
my sense of play, and it's allin full force when I'm in my
happy, nomad world.
And with every yin there's ayang right.
(14:24):
So be sure to do part two.
Think of a time when you werefrustrated or conflicted.
What values were being violated.
This makes me think of any time.
There's like a double standardor hypocrisy, and I'm a woman in
the 21st century, so it happensmore often than I'd like.
But it's my value for justiceand fairness that gets trampled
(14:45):
on when those things happen, andit's not cute.
So how do we protect our values, boundaries, babes but that's
another podcast for another day.
But that's another podcast foranother day.
So, when it comes toreconnecting with our authentic
self, now that we know thatpeople pleasing disconnects us
from who we really are, we getto pivot.
(15:06):
And now we get to take the timeto reconnect with our real self
.
So here's a few tips on how todo it Spend some time alone.
Reflect on what you want.
How to do it.
Spend some time alone.
Reflect on what you want.
This may take some time.
I remember someone asking methis at the peak of my
people-pleasing era and someonewas like, what do you want?
And I was like, uh, I don'tknow, but that will pass.
(15:31):
You can journal or meditate toexplore your feelings and to dig
into what your desires reallyare, and you can start to
practice small acts ofself-expression, like speaking
up or making decisions based onyour preferences.
My advice start small.
Instead of saying I'm fine withwhatever.
Next time someone asks youwhere you want to go to eat, try
(15:53):
actually advocating for whatyou want.
It'll feel like a bigger thingthan it is, but the stakes are
low.
So you can try not keeping thepeace for once and see how it
feels to honor what you want.
Spoiler alert feels really good, and it's a great thing to be
good at.
Another thing you can do,starting right now, is when
(16:13):
you're brushing your teethbefore going to bed at night,
ask yourself what did I do formyself today?
And it's a great way to keepgetting to know yourself and get
good at rewarding yourself forprioritizing your values in your
day-to-day life.
So if you want to look atpractical takeaways, here's a
quick recap.
Number one self-awareness isyour superpower.
(16:35):
Own it.
Number one self-awareness isyour superpower.
Own it.
Looks good on you.
Number two recognize thatpeople pleasing has a pattern.
Most of us have them.
They are sneaky, so keep youreyes peeled.
And number three align youractions with your core values.
My challenge for you this weekpause before you say yes to
(16:58):
anything and ask is this what Itruly want?
Because, my dear friends, themore self-aware you become, the
more empowered you'll feel tomake decisions that honor your
needs, your values and yourtruth.
Doesn't that sound nice?
Think of how it would changeyour life if that were true.
Because remember, it's notselfish, it's necessary.
Be sure to share yourself-awareness breakthroughs on
(17:19):
the Instagram or in the comments.
And why not tag me?
I'm a great cheerleader and, ifyou're here, I'm already a big
fan of yours, so you can alsotake the Mojo quiz, which will
guide you down some differentrows and give you some aha
moments of where you can startto take your personal journey
even further, and it'll help youget there faster.
(17:39):
And if you want to know moreabout Mojo, have I got something
for you?
Today is brought to you by Mojogummies.
These things have been a gamechanger for my multi passionate
brain to actually get thingsdone and feel good doing it.
My friend turned me on to themas a substitute for Adderall.
So, my neurodivergent and neurospicy friends out there, these
(18:02):
are for you.
They are natural, they aredelicious, they are affordable,
they are vegan friendly and,most of all, they are effective.
I feel focused, undistracted,and it helps me tune into what
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So check out the show notes.
You'll get your very own 15%off code.
And, don't worry, theircustomer service is amazing too.
(18:26):
Thank you so much for tuning intoday and remember, wherever you
are on your mojo journey,you're not alone.
You've got everything you needand you're doing great.
So be sure to tune in next weekwhen we add a very powerful
tool to our toolbox, and I'mtalking about boundaries, baby.
Now that we have our valuesaligned, we got to know how to
(18:46):
protect them.
So we're going to dig into thatnext week.
So you know what to do.
You're going to like, share,subscribe, comment, because
that's all good for Juju.
And be sure to come find me onthe Instagram, where there's
lots of cool links here or inthe show notes, so browse to
your heart's content.
Don't forget to click that 15%off code.
(19:07):
If you are ready to shake thebrain fog and stepped into your
productivity era, get yourselfsome of those mojo gummies.
So that's it for today.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Be sure to come back next weekand share this with all your
friends who may be somewhere onthat people pleasing spectrum.
But until next time, stayclassy, stay kind and put love
(19:27):
in everything you do.
Ciao for now, thank you.
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