May 29, 2025 • 50 mins
I REALLY hope you're finding this episode on the day it's released! It'll just make the whole experience so much more fun for you! 😂 (And then the next episode as well!)
Tomorrow I’m interviewing the amazing author Julia Baird at Words on the Waves, and my mate Julie Goodwin stopped by for a chat-slash-intervention-slash-roast to make sure I’m prepared.
We cover everything from ADHD reading strategies to episode title theory, to what it’s like to work with Kermit the Frog.
Yep. Not even making that one up.
And it was all going fine until Julie stuck her face in a pot plant!
The event is tomorrow. You’ll hear the nerves. The chaos.
And the confident assurance that “everything will be fine.” Will it be?
Let’s find out together.
Let’s connect! ⬇️
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Rabbit podcast with Rabbit. I'm Rabbit.
I record this podcast inside a cute little retro caravan from
1967 that I tore around all overthe place.
Fan podcast with Rabbit. Hey, 2 quick things.
Just before we get started, did you know that these are video
episodes now? I mean, if you're watching this,
then yes, you know that. But if you're not watching it,
you could be seeing the guests that I'm chatting to in the
(00:25):
episode. The video episodes are only
available on Spotify. And the other thing is, did you
know there's a Patreon members page?
I haven't mentioned it for a while and I've recently had a
couple of people sign up saying I don't even know, no, this was
a thing. So there's like over 200 bits of
bonus content in there. There's weekly bonus episodes
with Julie that are only for Patreon members and it's 10
(00:46):
bucks a month. So if you want to join up, you
just go to podvan.com dot AU slash members.
And thank you so much for all ofyour support.
I really do appreciate it. Let's get to the episode.
Ah man, this is what you're herefor.
(01:07):
Wow, what a response. I'm here for my calming down
therapy. Oh my God.
You can have that booked in after this.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's funny.
Oh I'm gonna go learn Buddhism after this.
(01:28):
God damn Zen scary some God dance I don't.
Think Zens ever been referred toas goddamn Zen before either?
Ohh man I will point out now that this is these are video
episodes so if you are listening.
Sorry. Yeah, it's not you I was
explaining it to. It was Julie cause dishevelled.
(01:51):
I got called dishevelled yesterday right.
So I'm just saying if you you've.
Been dishevelled You don't even have hair.
This is my point. What?
So for those of you that are just listening to this, if you
go to Spotify, you can watch it,watch it on your you can watch
it on your TV with us in 4K glory.
Don't do that. Yeah, the love of God, we're
trying to improve people's mental health.
Rapes, not destroy. God damn Zen, That's what we're
(02:15):
going for. That's what we bring.
It's the new name, the byline, the pod van podcast.
We bring God damn Zen. I probably said God damn a few
too many times. I don't know.
It's probably. Not we're, we're out in a storm.
I think that's that's a risky business, yeah.
Yeah, As far as being out in a storm, I can't believe this.
A year and a half into doing this podcast and I have the
(02:37):
number of times I've looked for shelter for the pod van.
Yeah. For a recording.
Yeah. And then you just go, will you
be right? Recording in this crazy heavy
rain. I was like, because I haven't
been outside in days. I don't even know what it's like
outside. Well.
You need a boat. Yeah, apparently.
And yeah, so heavy rain on the roof of the pod van.
I mean, the processing chopped most of it out, but I was like,
(03:00):
yeah, what I really need is likean abandoned servo, just like
something, you know what I'm saying?
A a high ceiling. And you're just like Woolly's
Lizaro and. Here we are.
It is. Perfect.
I know it's high enough. Yeah, it kicks the.
Rain off your roof. Yeah, how many people are
rolling into the supermarket nowand seeing the pod van?
(03:22):
There's mobile, billboard, all the kids going to school at
Lizaro High. Yeah.
And they go, oh, that probably floated down here.
Probably, yeah, in the river. That's it.
Yeah. I didn't drive it down here this
morning. This is just where I found it as
it made its way down. Oh, that's funny, Julie.
Was it a thing? Was that last night you went to
the the Book Nook thing? Yes.
Yeah. Yeah.
In your minor. How?
(03:43):
Beautiful, that beautiful bookstore.
The Book Nook in your minor. Yeah, gorgeous little bookstore.
Riddle me this is her name Mandy?
No. Am I right then OK?
Cool Riddle bro. It's a real thinker, like for
the rest of the day you'll be going.
Why did he think it the owner's name was Mandy?
(04:03):
Can I tell you this 100% honestyand certainty?
I will not be thinking about that all day.
I will not give it another thought.
Is there anything so far that you will take into your day and
go? I wonder what that was about.
No, not yet. Nothing that I can't dismiss
summarily from my life. Well, it's what I deliver.
(04:28):
Got dams in and savory dismissal.
I think. I think she was the owner of EU
minor book Nook. So Kate took it over a year ago.
Yeah, you know who from? Mandy Yeah, that's right.
I gave another thought. This is what I do.
(04:49):
I infiltrate your brain like a brain worm.
You are like a brain worm. You infiltrated my brain this
morning. How I had a thought because it's
because, and I'm wondering something.
I'm wondering something, and if you don't want to talk about
this in the public arena, you have the edit power.
So. You know you can put a stop to
it. I'm an open book.
(05:11):
Oh OK, let's see how open this book is then.
What's going to be funny here isI'm going to leave everything up
to this board then, and if we start talking about something
else now, I'm not that open. So how's about that giraffe?
How did they get there? I feel like there was an edit
open. So this morning I was getting
(05:32):
dressed and I used to work on the radio with you and run a
cooking school, and both of those things meant I couldn't
wear perfume. Because you don't.
You couldn't deal with perfume. Yes, anything perfumed.
No. Super smelly candles, no
perfume, no nothing, nothing. Hairspray.
Anything perfumed. Yeah.
(05:53):
And then I Running a cooking school.
Well, when you're a cook you shouldn't be drenched in perfume
anyway 'cause your olfactory sensors are really important to
your taste in that sort of stuff.
So you gotta be able to taste properly and I.
Can't tell you how how invested I am in this story right now
just 'cause I'm like, we're justgoing.
That you. Yeah, no, because you're such a
good storyteller and you're so funny.
(06:15):
What was the thing you said right before we started?
And I absolutely lost it becauseabout something we're not
allowed to talk about or something.
No, you were looking for AI. Thought it was a Leech but it
was a. No, I said I was looking at
something on the floor and I waslike, oh, I was concerned that
was a what's that? What's that thing?
And they're nasty. Jiggly goes alligator.
(06:38):
Just lost it. I meant it's raining a lot.
Looking at your brain, I meant afunnel web.
It looked like a shell, like a squashed funnel web.
No, the other thing you said wasyou went to a bakery this
morning and thought, oh, I'll grab something for rabes, which
that's never happened before. No, like, ever.
Because you're gluten free. And now I'm free from gluten.
Free. Yeah.
(06:59):
And you saw something free. Free.
What did you see? It was Rocky Road.
Yeah, yeah. Had gluten free on it.
Yeah, you're not gonna use the words you said.
Let's get this one in the PG. Rating show.
I give it the same reaction whenI say, man, we went on a trip to
New Zealand. My daughter and I were both
recently. Yeah, free from gluten free.
(07:20):
Gluten free free. Yeah.
And yeah, there was this like, Idon't know what it was.
There was a lot of chocolate. There were a lot of sweet things
as it wasn't a bakery, just. It was just a whole ton of
goodness and vadnais at the sametime.
Yeah, yeah. And.
Good, good kind of badness. Good.
Kind of bad, yeah. And I was looking at it and I
was like, oh, Yum. And then I see this little thing
at the top that says everything in this cabinet, gluten free.
(07:43):
Well, that's you're gonna eat that I want.
Gluten I've. Had to eat that.
I've had that. I know what it's gonna taste
like. Almond meal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me the stuff with the
gluten just. Full flour?
Yeah, throw flour in my face. I will.
Yeah, OK. Thanks.
OK, so. Well, well, I mean, it's in the
(08:03):
same sort of arena as that. So this morning I went to 'cause
now that I don't have the cooking school and I'm not on
the radio with you hypersensitive smelly man, I
went to put perfume on and and then I thought, Oh no, no, I'm,
I'm with hypersensitive smelly man, which is.
The world's worst superhero. Not only is he hypersensitive.
(08:27):
Stay and there's why he stinks 'cause you can't put perfume or
deodorant or anything on him. He's.
Only slightly better than hypersensitive smelling gluten
free man. He's just a pain to be around.
Oh man I do wear deodorant but yes it is a hyper sensitive
(08:49):
deodorant or something I. Wondered.
I wondered if I'd have put perfume on.
Would that have upset you this morning, or was that
hypersensitivity to smell also like the gluten, a part of your
anxiety? And I wondered, when's the last
time you became aware of gettingsick from a smell?
(09:09):
Good question. The book is still open Booger
the book. Oh, that we were that we.
How much of an open book am I? I'm like a widespread centrefold
right now. Can I go?
I'll just remind you this is video episode so enjoy that.
Oh my God. I know it's video.
(09:29):
What's the numbers coming in forthis episode now?
Widespread steady fire. Oh Lord, you've.
Got the title for the episode. Actually, I'm a widespread
centrefold. Can you make sure you say Rebs
at the end of that so nobody thinks I'm a widespread
centrefold? What I've found is, and I did
some research on this recently, OK, that I, well, Chad did.
(09:51):
I asked him to scrape all of thejust for those who don't know
Chad, it's Chad GBT. My one is Chad.
Yeah. And I am going to scrape all the
titles of all of my 180 something episodes.
Let's scrape. Them.
Julie, I'm getting into coding and.
Like your tongue? You kind of, but for like for a
website like you can scrape all the data from a website without
(10:14):
just taking like the front page.It'll go deep into the code and
and find all the things. Yeah, I'm such a nerd and I love
it. So he went through all of those
and then looked at all the episode download numbers.
Yeah. Also along with like how many
downloads on the day it came outand all these kind of things.
I love the analytics of it all. And for that, essentially I was
(10:34):
looking at does the how much does the title matter?
Yeah. With with an episode, because
it's different like YouTube, like if you're into someone in
YouTube, you may just watch everything they put out.
It depends on how much they put out.
Yeah, I was putting out a ton ofepisodes at that time when I
when I did this and I was like, OK, So if people are starting to
(10:56):
pick and choose based on episodetitle.
Yeah. Like, how much does it matter?
Early days I was using quotes from the episodes, yes.
And then I started kind of summarising the episode in the
title. OK.
You still want to give a hook kind of thing to.
Well, yeah, I. Don't like the clickbait thing?
It's gotta be real. Well, yeah, you can't go.
(11:18):
You know, like magazines do. Yeah.
Masterchef's pregnancy news. TuneIn to find out.
Yeah, it's about someone else entirely.
Yeah, yeah, someone. Sorry the full title was
MasterChef knows someone who is has pregnancy news.
Yeah, they couldn't. Fit it all in but. 22 years old,
whatever. Sorry had pregnancy are must
have been typos. Yeah, yeah.
(11:39):
And the interesting results of that data one what's that?
Do you know what work the best? What?
Exclamation marks. Really.
If there is an exclamation mark at the end of an episode title.
Pregnancy years. Better than a question mark I
guess. No, that one would work as well.
(12:03):
Wouldn't that pregnancy years question mark is she is he.
And then you know what else works really well when Julie
Goodwin's name is in the episodetime.
Really. Yeah.
And So what I've sort of adaptedit to is if it's Someone Like
(12:23):
You. No, pretty much anyone.
I'll put the name in the episode.
I also find it easy for people to find them.
Yeah. So if it's the episode with the
crisis cleans guys who go in anddo.
Yeah. Did you hear about that?
What did you see about that? They they go in and like like,
well, some orders, but other times it's tenants.
Yeah, have left the place in an absolute state and just
disappeared. Yeah yeah, yeah.
(12:43):
And then the owner ain't gonna go and that's they're called
crisis cleans. OK.
And he he films things puts you put the.
Crisis cleans in the title, Yeah, so the hook like.
Both got. Filthy.
What a filthy episode. Yeah, what a full spread
centerfold. Exclamation mark, question mark.
(13:05):
So here's the prop so that I go right back to all of that and
go, unfortunately for what I know about what's going to work
for this episode, it's going to be have to be titled Julie
Goodwin. I'm a widespread centerfold
exclamation mark. I have question marks about my
involvement here. Because I can't put too many
(13:26):
words in because it won't display on the thing.
So it's, you know, a lot of thought into this gym too much.
Some would. Say yes, yeah, yeah.
Well, not anywhere near enough. That's.
So to answer your question aboutthe perfume, yeah, it still does
get me. OK.
Yeah, that's a separate thing. That one is not all in my brain
(13:46):
like everything else has made. OK.
Yeah, no, I do super sensitive throat.
I mean, I had an operation on myvocal cords, yeah, years ago.
And I don't know if I don't knowif it's been since that, but
yeah, I've always had like supersensitive.
It gets more full on when I havea cold or I have a cold coming
on. OK, Yep.
(14:07):
I guess I don't know what's happening there, but it's yeah,
it gets more and it just gets aggravated itself.
Yeah, thank you. He's probably over everything
now. I'm always.
Glad you stopped yourself from. You're never glad when I
stopped. No, actually, usually it gives
me a headline for an episode. That is your headline my friend.
I did not say full spread set of.
I've just explained the process.I have to put your name in
(14:31):
there. I've got to have words with
Chad. Do you know the biggest one day
episode? Like the biggest day of
downloads on the day it came out?
What? Kyla on her ADHD diagnosis?
Yeah, OK. Yeah.
There you go. It's a few things here.
Something that's sort of topicalfor people.
In the zeitgeist. Are we doing this in German now?
(14:53):
Yeah. Schwarzwalde Quiche, daughter
Google driver. Dunker, now I've got the.
Black Forest cake pen. Thank you.
That's what I just said. Why do you need to know that
Black Forest cake pen? Thank you.
Yeah. They're all like, separate.
Not usually in the sentence, it's not.
AI mean it could be a sentence. It would be an odd one, but
(15:15):
yeah, just important things to me, so I remembered them.
What was that? Thank you, Dunker.
Dunker dunker Shen. Yeah, Dunker.
Very much. Black Forest cake.
Get those, please. Schwartz, Volder.
Quiche Torta. Oh, that's fine.
Yeah, so Schwartz is black. Yeah, Volder Forest quiche,
quiche. Torta is Quiche is the liqueur
(15:37):
that they put into the cake, andtorta is cake.
Wow, why did you have to learn that?
I don't know, I only took one term of German in like year 8
did. You release like a really short
German cookbook. Well, I just the one recipe.
Cause in year 8 it was 1984 and I think the poshest dessert you
(15:59):
could buy in 1984 and what my birthday cake was every year was
a Sara Lee Black Forest cake. Wow, I.
Think it was just important to me, so maybe I even asked my
teacher how to say it so that I could request my birthday cake
in German to my mother who is not German.
When you explained it, it makes sense.
It was starting to make sense and then it just did right off,
(16:21):
didn't it? And we've got another title for
the episode. Seriously, just recently I found
back when I was explaining that to someone in a very early
episode would have been in the 1st 30 episodes.
And yeah, I was explaining to someone, Oh yeah, thinking about
getting T-shirts that that go. And I've got the title for the
episode. It's Metro Bod Man ones.
(16:44):
I think we need an episode called Stop Making Everything I
Say into episode titles. Yeah.
Good. See, I see that bloody bumper
sticker nearly every day. Do you?
Yeah. The where?
At your house? At my house.
Yeah, I was gonna say it's not many of them going around
bumper. Stickers all down at bookshelves
that I walk past every day. And it's like, yeah, why don't
(17:05):
you stop putting everything I say on bumper stickers or, or
actually you have stopped putting everything I say on
bumper stickers. It's quite refreshing.
But now they're episode title. Yeah.
And so for those who don't know what that is, when we were on
air together, Julie would say, well, there's don't wanna say
ridiculous, but a real stand outstatements, just that just a
line. And I'd go wow, it's like a
(17:27):
powerful quote. I just feel like, you know.
I should write an inspirational quote book.
Yeah. Or like, open its own Instagram
account with like music and colourful backgrounds.
Yes, yes, like a beach scene with seagulls flying and just
above it it says. And I'll ask AI to create the
beach scene so the seagulls willhave like 4 wings, yes?
(17:52):
I'd follow that account. Elephant with eight eyes.
What I'm trying to think of someof the other ones, because what
I would do with those is Julie would say the thing.
I'd pause and then go Julie Goodwin.
You know, just like the quotes have.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of a really like a well known quote
that actually has the person's name under it.
(18:14):
Like, don't believe everything you read on the Internet, Abe
Lincoln. Took me a second hang on a
second, this doesn't. Add up.
I read it on the Internet. But exactly, it's a real
thinker, isn't it? I take things from this and come
(18:36):
back and think about them later.No, no, I sometimes I don't
remember a lot of what we say inhere actually.
No, I. Got surprised at the end.
Sometimes you text me just with things out of the podcast is
that it's the first time you've ever heard them.
It well. Like you'll text me a sentence
from the podcast with lol or ha ha ha.
(18:56):
And I'm like, yeah, well, you'renot listening when I was saying
it to your face. MMM.
It just it makes me laugh again and I'm you weren't listening.
The first time. Around because in the edit of
this I will text you and say I'ma widespread cenothold I know.
Oh, can't wait for that. But what's funny is so I text
(19:16):
you those when I'm able to. Now that can only be a day or
two after it's happened kind of thing.
And you get it. Yeah, because it's that's the
thing we spoke about in the net.Marcus Kroic per unit.
Do you get these messages from him?
I don't know if he's using Siri,I like to type the message or if
he's just wet the thumbs and then send.
Yeah. Hey, And that man.
Now that sounds like it's a bad thing.
(19:38):
I don't know. Is it a dad thing?
I don't know. It's like I get messages from
dad and I'm like like sometimes I really don't even know what it
means. Texts my my dad gets mum to do
everything, does he? Yeah.
Yeah, no, I it's. Like Dad, they came up to visit
us. Yeah, the last time they came up
to visit us, that dad spent the 1st 10 minutes of of the stay
(20:03):
looking for his phone and realized he'd left it at home on
the South Coast. Wow.
And they're staying. With us for a week and he's just
like, Oh well. I don't need it.
Oh, my God, Dad, we'll OK, we'llget you a SIM.
I've got a spare old phone that I put the SIM into.
We'll just get a temporary SIM. Won't cost very much.
(20:23):
He's like, no, I don't need it. Like you've got to have a phone.
He's going. Mom's got a phone.
That's amazing You go to. Bunnings And you get lost like
you do and then you can't call anybody or we can't call you and
we and you lost them. We don't know where you are.
And he goes, I'll just go with Mom.
Yeah. I couldn't care less.
No, it drove me up. I couldn't stand it.
(20:45):
And then. And then when I started thinking
about it, it's like, why don't ring Dad?
Because he never answers. I don't text Dad because he
never answers. I always text Mum and say, can
you ask Dad? Blah, blah, blah.
Yes. So why does he need a phone?
Why do you need a phone? Give me a phone.
I want a spare phone. I saw a thing the other night on
dumb phones are really becoming a thing again.
I know like bricks that just make phone calls.
(21:06):
Just makes phone calls. And you know, what'll happen is
they'll go. You know, it's really good that
you can send these little messages with this.
Tap this button three times. Tap it.
Yeah. You know, it would be even
better. Yeah.
Is if a little keyboard popped up and.
You have a keyboard and then after a while, so if you can
imagine putting the keyboard into the screen, yeah, it's just
like it's not actually a yeah, physical keyboard You.
(21:26):
Can't. Can you imagine if I could get
my e-mail on this and it's just gonna turn into an iPhone?
Same money that we went through all of that we have been.
Through we've been through all that.
All of those and. Now people are going back to the
basics and eventually they're just gonna go.
Look. Being a hipster is not as cool
as it. Sounds like yeah, exactly.
(21:50):
No, but those messages that I would get from Marcus would be
just comments on episodes that he was listening to.
Yeah, but he could be behind by a couple of weeks.
And he's texting me like, like, I'm doing it live on the radio.
Like, I'll get a text guy. Yeah, but you got to be careful
about making sure that when you're setting your business up
that you do blah, blah. And I'm like, damn, he's the car
(22:12):
with me. Is Marcus in the room right now?
I'm. Sitting in my office typing up a
document, I get this message. I read that I'm like, was I just
thinking something? And you know, So what?
Where's that coming from? And so I would, at first, I
didn't get what was going on. I'd go quite often, so many
messages. And you'd go.
The episode with Heather Irvine,were you talking about, you
(22:33):
know? Wait till three weeks time when
he texts you this one, you are awide open centrefold and you
just go you're all right, blocked.
Yeah, well, that's some, that's some fun.
I wonder how much I'm going to have to edit out of of that just
(22:55):
to what, you know, people's feelings.
I don't want to say my dad's gotfat thumbs.
Your dad knows he's got fat thumbs.
Yeah, I think so. My my dad.
My dad will know. He knows.
He's fine. He's fine.
I. My dad probably doesn't listen
to podcasts. Well, this week, isn't it?
(23:18):
His phone's down. Oh, this is when they were up.
Yeah, when they were. Up, Yeah.
Do do you reckon, Carl? What would your dad listen to if
he were listening to podcasts? Oh it would absolutely be like
how to remove rust from 40 year old bolts in the garage.
But like an hour long, Yeah, podcast on it 100%.
(23:39):
Yeah, we used to have a book in our bookshelf called Rust and
Rot. Yep, Yep.
And How to Win Friends and Influence People.
But I don't know if you ever. Read that.
I haven't read that one. Yeah.
Is it still like really good? Yeah, I think so.
Still relevant. I think so they quoted they
quote the author of that in the secret.
So it's like all or of attraction Y stuff I think, but.
(24:00):
What I get from going back and reading The Secret again,
because I live my life like that.
I'm I'm still stuck on what podcast I would listen to so I
can recommend it and stuff. I wonder if there's roofing
podcasts How to fix the sacking on a roof?
We don't think that's a that's aYouTube thing.
That's not a podcast thing. I reckon it if you got dad and a
(24:20):
few of his mates together who volunteered at Narooma Golf Club
fixing the roof, I reckon, I reckon you can put a mic on them
in the clubhouse and turn that into a podcast.
They'd have stories to tell. Oh, wouldn't they?
About the Pop Riveting and the talk.
To me, about the number of listeners they'd have, they
wouldn't care. No, they'd only, oh, they
wouldn't even need to it themselves.
(24:41):
They wouldn't even post it. Yeah.
So I'm just searching on Spotifyfor roofing.
Podcasts. There's gonna be 1.
We've got a roofing playlist. What?
Well, hang on, let's see what's in the roofing playlist.
Love Shack kitchen roofs Rusty you, you need dad.
They need Dad on the Love Shack.Roofing playlist.
(25:04):
OK, here we go. Turn to stone.
Joan Walsh, Stairway to Heaven. Working man way to heaven.
There's no roof in there. Is there a roof in there?
There's a bustle in your hedgerow if you don't know.
It's a bustle. In your head, there's a bustle
in your hedgerow. I mean, I've often got a bustle
in my hedgerow. It's quite.
Distracting. That's from a song, isn't it?
(25:24):
Stairway to Heaven. A bustle in your hedgerow?
Yeah. Where's that?
If there's a bustle in your hedgerow.
That is not a thing. That is not.
Those are not the words, Julie. OK, they're not the words.
Now, I'm only saying that because I have no idea if
there's a bustle in your hedgerow there.
I mean, that's if there's a if. There's a bustle in your
(25:51):
hedgerow, you probably need to go to the GP.
It actually says that I. Know.
No, it's just what I'm saying isI've typed in if there's a bus
and all of the suggested things are if there's a bustle in your
hedgerow, don't be alarmed. Now, No, that's not that's.
Calling you to join him, it's. Not the words.
(26:14):
And did you know? Because.
Every other time you've done this with song lyrics, they've
been so wrong. Like so wrong.
Not tonight. If there's a bustle in your
hedgerow, don't be alarmed. Now is a lyric from Stairway to
Heaven part of the section wherethe songs in a rater is
describing a woman and the worldaround her.
The bustle in your hedgerow is ametaphorical image and is oh
(26:36):
hang on. Some suggesting my eyes had gone
ahead and seen sexual and I wentoh hang on, am I going to keep
reading the rest? With some suggesting it could
relate to sexual excitement or ahidden rendezvous, the line is
followed by the explanation. Yeah, it's just a spring clean
for the May Queen. Yeah, yeah, when I get a bustle
(26:59):
in my hedgerow, yes, I think need a bit of a spring clean in
the hedgerow. Well, the spring clean and.
You are known the main queen. I am the May Queen.
What on earth is that and how did I get this far into my life
before I found out about the bustle in the hedgerow?
What I want to know is why Stairway to Heavens in a roofing
(27:20):
playlist? Yeah, we.
Haven't hit the the reason for that.
Yet I don't think there are actually songs about roofing.
It's just songs to roof to whoa,you know, there's ACDC.
What do? You hear stairway to heaven when
you're up a roof. No, you don't.
The ACDC highway to hell. You don't want to hear that when
you're up on a roof. Either oops, I did it again.
(27:43):
That's when you hit the power cord.
Bang, bang. Maxwell's silver hammer came
down upon his head. Oh no, Purple Rain, you don't
want that, No. You don't want any of that
stuff. Thunderstruck.
Worst songs for for a roofing playlist.
(28:04):
Slip sliding away. Free falling.
Hammer to fall? Oh, no, no.
This is terrible. It's pretty funny.
We could make playlists for different occupations.
(28:24):
Yeah. But that's an anti playlist.
That's the anti playlist. That's what you don't want to
hear when you're up the. Roof when you've got the song,
shuffle on when you're up roofing and you're free falling
because of the secret, you don'twant to put these things out
there into the universe. No, correct.
Then they happen. They do.
OK, so there's no roofing podcast?
(28:46):
Well, not a podcast. What else can I recommend for
Dad? There's not that.
What's he going to listen to roofing.
Hang on, I'll go back because roofing and then sorry.
When I type in roofing the second the second thing it says
as a suggested thing. Rooting in the back of a youth
(29:10):
on a blanket with the tailgate down.
I don't want to tell dad about that one.
You'll get very confused. A couple of cans and a vegemite
sandwich. You'll go.
Wait a minute, I thought this was about rusted rock.
That is so funny. Can you imagine how Kevin Bloody
Wilson looks at the world today?I think he's still going around
doing gigs. Really.
Yeah, I think so. He shocked anyone these days.
(29:33):
How would he shock you? Like surely half his stuff was
shocked value because he said swear words.
How can you shock people now? It would shock me if Kevin
Bloody Wilson came out and said I'd rather be called Kevin Dan
Wilson and my ACT is squeaky clean.
Just that PC gigs. He's doing kids gigs now.
On the way here I went to the supermarket, bought some bread
(29:56):
and milk and milk expensive thatgear in it.
Yeah, roofing podcasts. OK, I did type roofing right?
I found a podcast called Rootingfor you.
But wait, beginner edible gardening.
(30:20):
What a name, what a tree they they have gone see.
I might be able to send that to dad.
He might listen to it because ofthe title, but he might get some
interest out of a cute little garden.
But they've got a gardening podcast.
I'm going to make it my mission.And by make it my mission, I
mean completely forget about it in a minute and not do it.
(30:41):
But what I think would be funny would be to go on a search for
clever names of podcasts based on what it's about, because
that's a gardening podcast. And they've got hey, hey, hey,
rooting for you. Oh my God, yeah, this is.
It's like my mum named it. Yeah, it's like.
She tried to name my business one time.
Oh. Hello.
(31:02):
What? What would?
What does she want you to go with?
Well, it was when I was singing and she's gonna kill me.
If she hears this, I'll make sure she doesn't listen.
Yeah. I'll tell her she's a big
podcast. Listener, I'll tell her that she
likes the ABC ones. Yeah and Australian stories type
things yeah, I'll tell her this one's called I'm a wide open
cenophile and she won't listen to it.
(31:23):
Good. So when I was singing, but back
when I was singing, I also was, I was clowning at children's
parties. I used to do calligraphy.
Shut up. I used to do calligraphy on
people's wedding invitations. But before we all had printers.
Stop laughing. I haven't heard a word you've
said since you slipped in when Iwas clowning at kids parties.
(31:49):
In fact, come back to me in halfan hour, I'll say that same
sentence again. I haven't heard a thing.
You said It's the way you just slide it in.
But you don't want to mention Alexandy, A villain,
ventriloquist monkey. He's not ventriloquist.
He doesn't talk, he's just a monkey.
(32:10):
Ah, that's right, he's just a nodder.
His mouth does open. Is he mute?
What? Happened was there a he lost his
squeaker. Oh.
I mean, he is 44 years old. I would love to find someone who
had you turn up at one of their parties as a clown or what?
Was Alexander as part of it? Yeah.
(32:31):
Absolutely. Sometimes, yeah, but not all the
time. If I was there on my own and I
had to run all the games and everything, well, I need both my
hands. So I couldn't do Wait what?
What? How does that work into the
cause? Alexander's just a monkey.
Yeah. How do?
How does that affect? You using he needs to be held.
Oh, OK. Because otherwise he'll fall
down. Yeah.
(32:52):
I I love Alexander. I really do.
There's something, I don't know what it is.
I love Alexander. When you break him out and and
he starts, I don't know, he I say he starts having a chat, but
he's more just reacting to things yourself.
Oh, he whispers in your ear. A lot of that gear.
I just find you kind of disappear.
(33:13):
And I'm all about the monkey. That's what happened when I
worked with Kermit the Frog. I forgot there was a dude under
the desk. This is Kermit.
Me and Kermit. Now how do you just keep
slipping these things in when you worked with Creme at the
Frog? Yeah, I did a cooking segment
with him. Like, I understand that you
(33:34):
don't know that I was a kid. Clown kids parties.
Because you didn't read the first half of the book, but you
read the second-half and that was in the second-half.
Did you skim it? No, no, I was right into.
It ChatGPT to summarize it for you.
My God, I've got an interview with an offer.
Can you please read to me the parts of Julie's book that only
pertain to me? I'm not interested in a single
(33:57):
other sentence except the ones that relate to myself.
Listen, I'm gonna get there one day.
I'll get the first half of the book read OK.
The second-half, apparently. No, definitely.
I was fully invested in that. I cried, nearly cried.
If I read it now, I would cry because I've got all my emotions
back. Do you know about that?
I've got, I've got tears now. I've had tears a couple of
(34:17):
times. Haven't cried yet this morning.
Like tears of joy or just. I mean anything, surely I've
brought out the whole range. Run the whole gamut of emotions.
Well, what I'm hearing is I haven't made you sad enough yet.
Oh, we'll get there. I should have brought you that
gluten free Rocky, right? You wanna see tears?
(34:40):
You'll see the full range you're.
Going This is delicious and I know it's blip.
Free. Yeah.
And then. And then you'd see anger, you'd
see tears, you'd see the excitement when you first handed
me. Yeah, they were.
Oh, it's a roller coaster of emotions there.
But I've got a I've got an interview with an author coming
up soon. In fact, you know her.
And you loved her first book. Yes.
(35:01):
This is what I tell people. I think the first book was
called Luminescence. Phosphorescence.
Geez. Bro I haven't started my
research yet. Julie, you like?
To read her book, you've no, I know read her.
Book, I'm going to say. This you don't know the title
yet. Bright shining.
No phosphorescence. No, no.
The new one. Oh, OK.
(35:22):
Yeah, I'm talking to her about the new 1.
So it's Julia Baird, right? Yes.
And I was like, oh, wait, Julie.No.
Julia Baird. Yeah, and she's.
She's amazed, like her phosphorescence.
I haven't read her second book which is called Grace which I
should read but. This is the third one I think.
So listen, you're the one interviewing her.
And I haven't started yet. I've got what day is it?
(35:44):
Oh, OK, I've got a week and it'sa big book.
I just I think I made a mistake committing to this one because
I. Say that out loud.
I will edit the spit out. I yeah, I've gotta knock over
the entire book in the next weekand then come up with the
(36:06):
question. So it's that words on the waves
and it's a what is it? What am I?
I'm a moderator, yeah. Yeah, that's.
So. You interview her, which means
you've gotta ask some, you know,insightful questions about the
text. Yeah.
And then you moderate the questions from the crowd.
Ohh. So.
I thought it was just me interviewing there for 45
minutes. Yeah.
And then usually 15 minute questions.
(36:27):
Oh. Yes.
Then there's 15 minutes of questions.
Yeah, yeah. The crowd.
So you get to say and and then you know, if somebody is veering
off into a long monologue of their own.
Knock it off, Janet. Yeah.
That's exactly. We've all heard enough from you.
Yeah, all day we have. Is there a question in there,
Janet? Yeah, OK, good.
I didn't realise it came with power.
His position? Comes with a little bit of
(36:47):
power, not too much power, but Iyou've.
Done it before. I did it last year with My
Autobiography and Can I tell You, Rob Carlton interviewed me.
He read the whole book, whole thing he turned out.
So I'm just giving you some tips.
Yeah, he turned up with a copy of my book that was so doggy and
worn it had post it notes sticking out of it, like don't
(37:10):
find out of a pork dog. Plus he had a book like an A4
notebook. And we sat down before we went
out and he opened the notebook and it was full of writing.
It was full of notes. And he was asking me now are we
good to talk about this? And you write to talk about
that. And if I go in this direction,
how do you feel about? And he it was the best interview
of. I can tell you right now that's
(37:32):
not what I'm going to do. If you want to cheat though,
just put a whole lot of post it notes in your book and she'll go
in with a good feeling. That is what I was thinking.
Like I was thinking, OK, this notebook that he had full of all
these scribbles and stuff. Did you actually look at though?
Because he may have just scribbled all through it or
maybe ones from previous ones he's done and just it made.
Me feel good. I'm gonna put a lot of post it
notes but I'm gonna be using my iPad so they'll just be.
(37:54):
That'll look weird. On my screen post it post it
notes, actual post it notes juststuck all over my iPad and I'm
just doing it 'cause of what yousaid.
Is any post it? No, OK, I'll.
Have to drop you does it and he's a good.
And then I pull my phone out of my pocket is also covered and
posted. Yeah, yeah.
He's like, what? What?
Why are you playing Candy Crush?Nah, listen, I will give it all
(38:15):
due respect. I will read the book from cover
to, you know, I will. I'll read the book from cover to
cover. I know.
I already know from looking at it and reading.
I think you'll love it. I'll love it.
Yeah. And I will have.
I will have more questions then I'll be able to fit it in the 45
minutes. 100%, you know that. And you know Julia Baird got in
contact with me when I was unwell.
(38:37):
Yeah, she said. I read about what you're going
through at the moment and I'd love to know your address.
I'd love to send you a copy of my book Phosphorescence.
And I was able to go back to herand say, I, you know, that such
a generous offer. I actually already owned the
book and I've listened to it on Audible as well.
So. Hmm.
And it has been very helpful. And I love, yeah, I loved it.
(38:57):
It's a beautiful book. I would start with that.
I'd go and me I'd go and read Phosphorus first and to get the
feel of cause that one was a bitbut I'm sort of running a bit
time. I can't do 2 books now.
I can barely do one and my reading.
Two book Rabs hasn't arrived. No, I one.
Book Rabs hasn't arrived. Let's be fair, half Book Rabs,
(39:19):
he's been here for a while. Now I the interview is happening
next Saturday at 10:00-ish 10/10/30 something like that.
And you've remembered it's not on a boat.
Oh, no, yeah. I thought your whole thing, word
words on the waves, was on a boat.
Was on a boat. So I don't get it.
It's at the beach. It's at the beach.
(39:39):
Yeah. But I I'm trying to do better at
certain things. Very trying.
And I'm thank you, I'm trying tonot read that whole book on
Friday. OK, well, do you need some
friendly reminders? What do you mean?
Mike, do you want me to help hold you accountable?
What are you going to do? So you've got a week, You've got
(40:00):
a week. Like being held accountable.
So. Why not my reading?
Well, you've got to get through a chapter today.
There you go, You've got to get through a chapter today because
guaranteed it's got more than 7 chapters.
So if you don't get through a chapter today, oh at least one
chapter, you've got a. Horrible way to think about it.
Yeah, this is not going to happen if I don't.
Start. Now, but I do.
You're going to read chapter 1 today, and once you've read
(40:22):
chapter one, chances are you'll feel like you want to continue.
But I'm going to put it on you that you've got to reject 1
today, and I'm going to check inwith you this afternoon and make
sure you have. First, I've got to find the
book. It's somewhere there.
Look, do yourself you must. Look out.
Favour and get it on audible, put it in your ears and then get
(40:44):
busy with your hands. Go tidy up your house.
Oh, I can do that. The laundry.
Get up and do some bloody roofing.
Not in this weather, yeah. Otherwise, you'll be climbing a
stairway to heaven. That soundtrack, yeah, I, yeah,
OK, I could possibly do that. Go get your rucksack on and go
for a walk. Yeah, And you know, pound out
four. Kilometres, but I got sent the
book and I'll have to pay for iton audible.
(41:06):
You will. It will be a bloody $14.00
investment. It'll be fine, Julie.
It'll be fine. Don't worry about it.
Why are you the one getting stressed out over this?
Skin audio book. I'm going to edit this together.
So I go I'm a widespread centerfold, and then Julie
(41:28):
throws cash at me out of her wallet.
Oh no. Julie just gave me $15.00 to
download. That's great, actually.
I need to get you frustrated about other things, but yeah.
(41:50):
Yeah. But you know what?
Oh, my car's broken down, but it'll be fine.
I've gone fine. Had some money.
Oh, I can tell you. Oh, the card.
I got the credit card. Trust me, that won't get you
anyway. You can maybe download another
audio book on that. That is so funny.
You know I and this is an ADHD thing.
(42:12):
What? I'll take the money though I'm
not going to download the thing.Like here's the problem, I'll
take the money and then leave. And then you won't read the
book. No, I'll read the book that is
going to happen like it's going to happen when?
Friday. Can't I read the whole book on
the Friday? Watch me.
This is it. See, you got to understand,
(42:32):
Julie, that different people's brains work in different ways.
And science. Brains are really.
Aggravating. I've had so many comments about
that Patreon episode that we didwhere I were playing 20
questions and I turned it into about 400 questions by changing
the rules. Oh people saying because it's a
(42:53):
video episode in the Patreon page as well and the comments
comments are about watching you just like just shrill and die
you. Know the little yeah.
During the whole thing, your frustration levels going through
the roof and there's this weird part of me that just finds that
so funny. I I see you going through pain.
(43:19):
I am in pain, so just know that it'll be OK.
I'm going to read the book. I generally read like a chapter
on my phone before I fall asleepat night.
I've got a great idea. I've got a great idea.
Go on. Cyrano de Bergerac.
I I don't know Cyranos de Bergerac.
I will read the book and I'll hide in the wings.
(43:43):
They generally have nice big potplants either side of the stage.
Behind a pot plant. Yes.
I have an earpiece in. Earpiece works, yeah.
And what? Are you going to do signals?
Yeah, well. It's going to whisper, but that
might be obvious. In Chapter 7.
She said, yeah, you know, earpiece is better.
(44:05):
I could do that. I mean, I was, I was going to be
away next Sunday, but I'll come home for that.
OK, I know what this is about. It's trying to sell tickets
towards the way. No if.
You haven't got tickets? This will be funny.
You're just trying to get my copy of the book.
That's what's going on here. Yeah, and you know what?
(44:26):
I'll do that spending the $15. I'm going to ring you up.
Yeah, I'm going to ring you up and go and you'll go Hey Jay
Goodo and I'll go chapter that. I'll get through as much as I
can into your ear before you hang up on me.
I'm going to read you the book. On stage.
(44:46):
No, this is now. This is today from.
Now on oh, you're going to be feeding me bits of the ball.
Yeah, so I'll do that. And when that fails, because
you'll hang up pretty quick, Yeah, then I'll do the on stage.
I've got, I've got multiple plans.
I've got 1C and C because I don't believe you're going to
read the book. I see what you're doing now.
The owl reverse psychology. I'm not a three-year old not
(45:10):
eating my spaghetti and you sat oh, you wouldn't eat spaghetti.
You're not gonna read the book. You're.
Not gonna eat that choc chip muffin I bought you.
It's got gluten in it. Watch.
Me. Well, watch.
You are a three-year old. This is not reverse psychology.
This is me trying to come up with a backup plan.
(45:32):
But I'm telling you, it'll be fine.
So apparently I know what you'retelling me, and I know how this
goes. Watch me.
This is I look back at things now from like when I was on the
radio and that there's this one Carol's night like Christmas
carols at Central Coast Stadium.I had this idea for a thing we
could do on stage and. How did that end up?
(45:56):
Pretty chaotic, I think, but it worked.
Yeah, kinda, you know. Was this the looping pedal
getting everyone involved thing?Oh, it might have been that one.
I think I've done it a few. Times chaotic but fun but funny.
Yeah, and. Everyone else is.
Stressing out AF. Yeah, and they go, I just need
to know all the details and thenwhat is it?
I'm like, it'll be fine. And then it is.
(46:18):
And. And that's frustrating for other
people. And this is, this is like fine.
Like you picture this, you are alittle puppy dog and you're in a
hat and you're sitting there saying everything's fine.
And behind you and all around you, everything's on fire.
That's exactly you just described my life.
(46:42):
I am that dog. The other one else is going.
Nelson in the naked garden in front of a factory full of
fireworks. Going off saying lovely to see
here, nothing to see here that's.
My life, everyone else is going,but look behind you.
The wreckage. The wreckage.
It's fine. Let's keep moving forward.
(47:05):
I will have that book read. I will do a great interview with
her. And I know.
Well, I know, I know I. Know you will too, just have an
earpiece on the day. Yeah, I'll see you then.
Thank you for your confidence. All right, well, I feel like the
next episode then is going to be.
I'll tell you when this episode's gone.
(47:25):
Oh, my God, This episode's potentially not coming out until
after that. Well, I'm going to have to
change that. This is going to have to be like
an extra episode coming out nextweek.
All right? This episode is going to come
out the day before when it's on the way.
It's when it's all. Too late and people are just
watching it like a train wreck that they can't turn away from.
(47:47):
It's a good reference point though.
Did he read it? Did he read it?
I read it. It's a good reference point
though, yeah, 'cause you know the next day when things happen.
Will I be in a pot plant whispering into a sleeve
microphone like an FBI? Because someone sees that and
then I go, OK, I get to the end of the whole chat and then I go,
OK, I just need to address the the Goodwin in the pot plant as
(48:09):
as it's known. Listen to the Pod Van podcast to
find out all about it. You can find it on Spotify, or
anyway you get your podcast. Patreon, $10 a month for extra
content. You'll nail that bit, yeah.
I don't need anything for that. Julie, I'll be sitting there.
Guy, what's happening? It's.
(48:30):
Fine, everything's fine. Write this.
Book. Oh, that's exactly what's
happening. I am releasing this on the day
before words on the waves God and and then after.
You wanna hope the organisers don't listen to the podcast
'cause they might be on the phone going.
Yeah, we've, we've contacted RobCarlton.
(48:50):
He's already got so many post itnotes.
He written in the hopes that he was gonna be asked to moderate
this session. He is more prepared than you.
Oh, I can't wait for the comments when I'm posting things
on Saturday from words, words onthe way.
Some people just that have heardthe episode coming.
Show us your post it notes. Oh, this is a very funny behind
(49:15):
the scenes of what's going to behappening there.
Yeah. And then obviously we will have
to do a follow up as to what happened.
I'll. I'll share the quote from Julia
where she goes. That was the best interview I've
ever done from from my side. That's what she says.
Don't know what the crazy guy with the lady in the pot plant
(49:36):
was doing, but oh, this is funny.
OK, good. Excellent.
I got it. It's.
Funny you got this. It's fine.
You got. This all right I.
Got faith in you, You know I do.Thank you.
So just study your face, Do you?I do.
It'll be fine. It'll be fine.
(49:57):
All right, well, stand by for the updates on awesome on how
that goes. Oh, now even I'm looking forward
to it. I mean, I was.
Rabbit podcast with Rabbit. I'm Rabbit.
I record this podcast inside a cute little retro caravan from
1967 that I tore around all overthe place.
Fan podcast with Rabbit. Hey, 2 quick things.
Just before we get started, did you know that these are video
episodes now? I mean, if you're watching this,
then yes, you know that. But if you're not watching it,
you could be seeing the guests that I'm chatting to in the
(00:25):
episode. The video episodes are only
available on Spotify. And the other thing is, did you
know there's a Patreon members page?
I haven't mentioned it for a while and I've recently had a
couple of people sign up saying I don't even know, no, this was
a thing. So there's like over 200 bits of
bonus content in there. There's weekly bonus episodes
with Julie that are only for Patreon members and it's 10
(00:46):
bucks a month. So if you want to join up, you
just go to podvan.com dot AU slash members.
And thank you so much for all ofyour support.
I really do appreciate it. Let's get to the episode.
Ah man, this is what you're herefor.
(01:07):
Wow, what a response. I'm here for my calming down
therapy. Oh my God.
You can have that booked in after this.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's funny.
Oh I'm gonna go learn Buddhism after this.
(01:28):
God damn Zen scary some God dance I don't.
Think Zens ever been referred toas goddamn Zen before either?
Ohh man I will point out now that this is these are video
episodes so if you are listening.
Sorry. Yeah, it's not you I was
explaining it to. It was Julie cause dishevelled.
(01:51):
I got called dishevelled yesterday right.
So I'm just saying if you you've.
Been dishevelled You don't even have hair.
This is my point. What?
So for those of you that are just listening to this, if you
go to Spotify, you can watch it,watch it on your you can watch
it on your TV with us in 4K glory.
Don't do that. Yeah, the love of God, we're
trying to improve people's mental health.
Rapes, not destroy. God damn Zen, That's what we're
(02:15):
going for. That's what we bring.
It's the new name, the byline, the pod van podcast.
We bring God damn Zen. I probably said God damn a few
too many times. I don't know.
It's probably. Not we're, we're out in a storm.
I think that's that's a risky business, yeah.
Yeah, As far as being out in a storm, I can't believe this.
A year and a half into doing this podcast and I have the
(02:37):
number of times I've looked for shelter for the pod van.
Yeah. For a recording.
Yeah. And then you just go, will you
be right? Recording in this crazy heavy
rain. I was like, because I haven't
been outside in days. I don't even know what it's like
outside. Well.
You need a boat. Yeah, apparently.
And yeah, so heavy rain on the roof of the pod van.
I mean, the processing chopped most of it out, but I was like,
(03:00):
yeah, what I really need is likean abandoned servo, just like
something, you know what I'm saying?
A a high ceiling. And you're just like Woolly's
Lizaro and. Here we are.
It is. Perfect.
I know it's high enough. Yeah, it kicks the.
Rain off your roof. Yeah, how many people are
rolling into the supermarket nowand seeing the pod van?
(03:22):
There's mobile, billboard, all the kids going to school at
Lizaro High. Yeah.
And they go, oh, that probably floated down here.
Probably, yeah, in the river. That's it.
Yeah. I didn't drive it down here this
morning. This is just where I found it as
it made its way down. Oh, that's funny, Julie.
Was it a thing? Was that last night you went to
the the Book Nook thing? Yes.
Yeah. Yeah.
In your minor. How?
(03:43):
Beautiful, that beautiful bookstore.
The Book Nook in your minor. Yeah, gorgeous little bookstore.
Riddle me this is her name Mandy?
No. Am I right then OK?
Cool Riddle bro. It's a real thinker, like for
the rest of the day you'll be going.
Why did he think it the owner's name was Mandy?
(04:03):
Can I tell you this 100% honestyand certainty?
I will not be thinking about that all day.
I will not give it another thought.
Is there anything so far that you will take into your day and
go? I wonder what that was about.
No, not yet. Nothing that I can't dismiss
summarily from my life. Well, it's what I deliver.
(04:28):
Got dams in and savory dismissal.
I think. I think she was the owner of EU
minor book Nook. So Kate took it over a year ago.
Yeah, you know who from? Mandy Yeah, that's right.
I gave another thought. This is what I do.
(04:49):
I infiltrate your brain like a brain worm.
You are like a brain worm. You infiltrated my brain this
morning. How I had a thought because it's
because, and I'm wondering something.
I'm wondering something, and if you don't want to talk about
this in the public arena, you have the edit power.
So. You know you can put a stop to
it. I'm an open book.
(05:11):
Oh OK, let's see how open this book is then.
What's going to be funny here isI'm going to leave everything up
to this board then, and if we start talking about something
else now, I'm not that open. So how's about that giraffe?
How did they get there? I feel like there was an edit
open. So this morning I was getting
(05:32):
dressed and I used to work on the radio with you and run a
cooking school, and both of those things meant I couldn't
wear perfume. Because you don't.
You couldn't deal with perfume. Yes, anything perfumed.
No. Super smelly candles, no
perfume, no nothing, nothing. Hairspray.
Anything perfumed. Yeah.
(05:53):
And then I Running a cooking school.
Well, when you're a cook you shouldn't be drenched in perfume
anyway 'cause your olfactory sensors are really important to
your taste in that sort of stuff.
So you gotta be able to taste properly and I.
Can't tell you how how invested I am in this story right now
just 'cause I'm like, we're justgoing.
That you. Yeah, no, because you're such a
good storyteller and you're so funny.
(06:15):
What was the thing you said right before we started?
And I absolutely lost it becauseabout something we're not
allowed to talk about or something.
No, you were looking for AI. Thought it was a Leech but it
was a. No, I said I was looking at
something on the floor and I waslike, oh, I was concerned that
was a what's that? What's that thing?
And they're nasty. Jiggly goes alligator.
(06:38):
Just lost it. I meant it's raining a lot.
Looking at your brain, I meant afunnel web.
It looked like a shell, like a squashed funnel web.
No, the other thing you said wasyou went to a bakery this
morning and thought, oh, I'll grab something for rabes, which
that's never happened before. No, like, ever.
Because you're gluten free. And now I'm free from gluten.
Free. Yeah.
(06:59):
And you saw something free. Free.
What did you see? It was Rocky Road.
Yeah, yeah. Had gluten free on it.
Yeah, you're not gonna use the words you said.
Let's get this one in the PG. Rating show.
I give it the same reaction whenI say, man, we went on a trip to
New Zealand. My daughter and I were both
recently. Yeah, free from gluten free.
(07:20):
Gluten free free. Yeah.
And yeah, there was this like, Idon't know what it was.
There was a lot of chocolate. There were a lot of sweet things
as it wasn't a bakery, just. It was just a whole ton of
goodness and vadnais at the sametime.
Yeah, yeah. And.
Good, good kind of badness. Good.
Kind of bad, yeah. And I was looking at it and I
was like, oh, Yum. And then I see this little thing
at the top that says everything in this cabinet, gluten free.
(07:43):
Well, that's you're gonna eat that I want.
Gluten I've. Had to eat that.
I've had that. I know what it's gonna taste
like. Almond meal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me the stuff with the
gluten just. Full flour?
Yeah, throw flour in my face. I will.
Yeah, OK. Thanks.
OK, so. Well, well, I mean, it's in the
(08:03):
same sort of arena as that. So this morning I went to 'cause
now that I don't have the cooking school and I'm not on
the radio with you hypersensitive smelly man, I
went to put perfume on and and then I thought, Oh no, no, I'm,
I'm with hypersensitive smelly man, which is.
The world's worst superhero. Not only is he hypersensitive.
(08:27):
Stay and there's why he stinks 'cause you can't put perfume or
deodorant or anything on him. He's.
Only slightly better than hypersensitive smelling gluten
free man. He's just a pain to be around.
Oh man I do wear deodorant but yes it is a hyper sensitive
(08:49):
deodorant or something I. Wondered.
I wondered if I'd have put perfume on.
Would that have upset you this morning, or was that
hypersensitivity to smell also like the gluten, a part of your
anxiety? And I wondered, when's the last
time you became aware of gettingsick from a smell?
(09:09):
Good question. The book is still open Booger
the book. Oh, that we were that we.
How much of an open book am I? I'm like a widespread centrefold
right now. Can I go?
I'll just remind you this is video episode so enjoy that.
Oh my God. I know it's video.
(09:29):
What's the numbers coming in forthis episode now?
Widespread steady fire. Oh Lord, you've.
Got the title for the episode. Actually, I'm a widespread
centrefold. Can you make sure you say Rebs
at the end of that so nobody thinks I'm a widespread
centrefold? What I've found is, and I did
some research on this recently, OK, that I, well, Chad did.
(09:51):
I asked him to scrape all of thejust for those who don't know
Chad, it's Chad GBT. My one is Chad.
Yeah. And I am going to scrape all the
titles of all of my 180 something episodes.
Let's scrape. Them.
Julie, I'm getting into coding and.
Like your tongue? You kind of, but for like for a
website like you can scrape all the data from a website without
(10:14):
just taking like the front page.It'll go deep into the code and
and find all the things. Yeah, I'm such a nerd and I love
it. So he went through all of those
and then looked at all the episode download numbers.
Yeah. Also along with like how many
downloads on the day it came outand all these kind of things.
I love the analytics of it all. And for that, essentially I was
(10:34):
looking at does the how much does the title matter?
Yeah. With with an episode, because
it's different like YouTube, like if you're into someone in
YouTube, you may just watch everything they put out.
It depends on how much they put out.
Yeah, I was putting out a ton ofepisodes at that time when I
when I did this and I was like, OK, So if people are starting to
(10:56):
pick and choose based on episodetitle.
Yeah. Like, how much does it matter?
Early days I was using quotes from the episodes, yes.
And then I started kind of summarising the episode in the
title. OK.
You still want to give a hook kind of thing to.
Well, yeah, I. Don't like the clickbait thing?
It's gotta be real. Well, yeah, you can't go.
(11:18):
You know, like magazines do. Yeah.
Masterchef's pregnancy news. TuneIn to find out.
Yeah, it's about someone else entirely.
Yeah, yeah, someone. Sorry the full title was
MasterChef knows someone who is has pregnancy news.
Yeah, they couldn't. Fit it all in but. 22 years old,
whatever. Sorry had pregnancy are must
have been typos. Yeah, yeah.
(11:39):
And the interesting results of that data one what's that?
Do you know what work the best? What?
Exclamation marks. Really.
If there is an exclamation mark at the end of an episode title.
Pregnancy years. Better than a question mark I
guess. No, that one would work as well.
(12:03):
Wouldn't that pregnancy years question mark is she is he.
And then you know what else works really well when Julie
Goodwin's name is in the episodetime.
Really. Yeah.
And So what I've sort of adaptedit to is if it's Someone Like
(12:23):
You. No, pretty much anyone.
I'll put the name in the episode.
I also find it easy for people to find them.
Yeah. So if it's the episode with the
crisis cleans guys who go in anddo.
Yeah. Did you hear about that?
What did you see about that? They they go in and like like,
well, some orders, but other times it's tenants.
Yeah, have left the place in an absolute state and just
disappeared. Yeah yeah, yeah.
(12:43):
And then the owner ain't gonna go and that's they're called
crisis cleans. OK.
And he he films things puts you put the.
Crisis cleans in the title, Yeah, so the hook like.
Both got. Filthy.
What a filthy episode. Yeah, what a full spread
centerfold. Exclamation mark, question mark.
(13:05):
So here's the prop so that I go right back to all of that and
go, unfortunately for what I know about what's going to work
for this episode, it's going to be have to be titled Julie
Goodwin. I'm a widespread centerfold
exclamation mark. I have question marks about my
involvement here. Because I can't put too many
(13:26):
words in because it won't display on the thing.
So it's, you know, a lot of thought into this gym too much.
Some would. Say yes, yeah, yeah.
Well, not anywhere near enough. That's.
So to answer your question aboutthe perfume, yeah, it still does
get me. OK.
Yeah, that's a separate thing. That one is not all in my brain
(13:46):
like everything else has made. OK.
Yeah, no, I do super sensitive throat.
I mean, I had an operation on myvocal cords, yeah, years ago.
And I don't know if I don't knowif it's been since that, but
yeah, I've always had like supersensitive.
It gets more full on when I havea cold or I have a cold coming
on. OK, Yep.
(14:07):
I guess I don't know what's happening there, but it's yeah,
it gets more and it just gets aggravated itself.
Yeah, thank you. He's probably over everything
now. I'm always.
Glad you stopped yourself from. You're never glad when I
stopped. No, actually, usually it gives
me a headline for an episode. That is your headline my friend.
I did not say full spread set of.
I've just explained the process.I have to put your name in
(14:31):
there. I've got to have words with
Chad. Do you know the biggest one day
episode? Like the biggest day of
downloads on the day it came out?
What? Kyla on her ADHD diagnosis?
Yeah, OK. Yeah.
There you go. It's a few things here.
Something that's sort of topicalfor people.
In the zeitgeist. Are we doing this in German now?
(14:53):
Yeah. Schwarzwalde Quiche, daughter
Google driver. Dunker, now I've got the.
Black Forest cake pen. Thank you.
That's what I just said. Why do you need to know that
Black Forest cake pen? Thank you.
Yeah. They're all like, separate.
Not usually in the sentence, it's not.
AI mean it could be a sentence. It would be an odd one, but
(15:15):
yeah, just important things to me, so I remembered them.
What was that? Thank you, Dunker.
Dunker dunker Shen. Yeah, Dunker.
Very much. Black Forest cake.
Get those, please. Schwartz, Volder.
Quiche Torta. Oh, that's fine.
Yeah, so Schwartz is black. Yeah, Volder Forest quiche,
quiche. Torta is Quiche is the liqueur
(15:37):
that they put into the cake, andtorta is cake.
Wow, why did you have to learn that?
I don't know, I only took one term of German in like year 8
did. You release like a really short
German cookbook. Well, I just the one recipe.
Cause in year 8 it was 1984 and I think the poshest dessert you
(15:59):
could buy in 1984 and what my birthday cake was every year was
a Sara Lee Black Forest cake. Wow, I.
Think it was just important to me, so maybe I even asked my
teacher how to say it so that I could request my birthday cake
in German to my mother who is not German.
When you explained it, it makes sense.
It was starting to make sense and then it just did right off,
(16:21):
didn't it? And we've got another title for
the episode. Seriously, just recently I found
back when I was explaining that to someone in a very early
episode would have been in the 1st 30 episodes.
And yeah, I was explaining to someone, Oh yeah, thinking about
getting T-shirts that that go. And I've got the title for the
episode. It's Metro Bod Man ones.
(16:44):
I think we need an episode called Stop Making Everything I
Say into episode titles. Yeah.
Good. See, I see that bloody bumper
sticker nearly every day. Do you?
Yeah. The where?
At your house? At my house.
Yeah, I was gonna say it's not many of them going around
bumper. Stickers all down at bookshelves
that I walk past every day. And it's like, yeah, why don't
(17:05):
you stop putting everything I say on bumper stickers or, or
actually you have stopped putting everything I say on
bumper stickers. It's quite refreshing.
But now they're episode title. Yeah.
And so for those who don't know what that is, when we were on
air together, Julie would say, well, there's don't wanna say
ridiculous, but a real stand outstatements, just that just a
line. And I'd go wow, it's like a
(17:27):
powerful quote. I just feel like, you know.
I should write an inspirational quote book.
Yeah. Or like, open its own Instagram
account with like music and colourful backgrounds.
Yes, yes, like a beach scene with seagulls flying and just
above it it says. And I'll ask AI to create the
beach scene so the seagulls willhave like 4 wings, yes?
(17:52):
I'd follow that account. Elephant with eight eyes.
What I'm trying to think of someof the other ones, because what
I would do with those is Julie would say the thing.
I'd pause and then go Julie Goodwin.
You know, just like the quotes have.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of a really like a well known quote
that actually has the person's name under it.
(18:14):
Like, don't believe everything you read on the Internet, Abe
Lincoln. Took me a second hang on a
second, this doesn't. Add up.
I read it on the Internet. But exactly, it's a real
thinker, isn't it? I take things from this and come
(18:36):
back and think about them later.No, no, I sometimes I don't
remember a lot of what we say inhere actually.
No, I. Got surprised at the end.
Sometimes you text me just with things out of the podcast is
that it's the first time you've ever heard them.
It well. Like you'll text me a sentence
from the podcast with lol or ha ha ha.
(18:56):
And I'm like, yeah, well, you'renot listening when I was saying
it to your face. MMM.
It just it makes me laugh again and I'm you weren't listening.
The first time. Around because in the edit of
this I will text you and say I'ma widespread cenothold I know.
Oh, can't wait for that. But what's funny is so I text
(19:16):
you those when I'm able to. Now that can only be a day or
two after it's happened kind of thing.
And you get it. Yeah, because it's that's the
thing we spoke about in the net.Marcus Kroic per unit.
Do you get these messages from him?
I don't know if he's using Siri,I like to type the message or if
he's just wet the thumbs and then send.
Yeah. Hey, And that man.
Now that sounds like it's a bad thing.
(19:38):
I don't know. Is it a dad thing?
I don't know. It's like I get messages from
dad and I'm like like sometimes I really don't even know what it
means. Texts my my dad gets mum to do
everything, does he? Yeah.
Yeah, no, I it's. Like Dad, they came up to visit
us. Yeah, the last time they came up
to visit us, that dad spent the 1st 10 minutes of of the stay
(20:03):
looking for his phone and realized he'd left it at home on
the South Coast. Wow.
And they're staying. With us for a week and he's just
like, Oh well. I don't need it.
Oh, my God, Dad, we'll OK, we'llget you a SIM.
I've got a spare old phone that I put the SIM into.
We'll just get a temporary SIM. Won't cost very much.
(20:23):
He's like, no, I don't need it. Like you've got to have a phone.
He's going. Mom's got a phone.
That's amazing You go to. Bunnings And you get lost like
you do and then you can't call anybody or we can't call you and
we and you lost them. We don't know where you are.
And he goes, I'll just go with Mom.
Yeah. I couldn't care less.
No, it drove me up. I couldn't stand it.
(20:45):
And then. And then when I started thinking
about it, it's like, why don't ring Dad?
Because he never answers. I don't text Dad because he
never answers. I always text Mum and say, can
you ask Dad? Blah, blah, blah.
Yes. So why does he need a phone?
Why do you need a phone? Give me a phone.
I want a spare phone. I saw a thing the other night on
dumb phones are really becoming a thing again.
I know like bricks that just make phone calls.
(21:06):
Just makes phone calls. And you know, what'll happen is
they'll go. You know, it's really good that
you can send these little messages with this.
Tap this button three times. Tap it.
Yeah. You know, it would be even
better. Yeah.
Is if a little keyboard popped up and.
You have a keyboard and then after a while, so if you can
imagine putting the keyboard into the screen, yeah, it's just
like it's not actually a yeah, physical keyboard You.
(21:26):
Can't. Can you imagine if I could get
my e-mail on this and it's just gonna turn into an iPhone?
Same money that we went through all of that we have been.
Through we've been through all that.
All of those and. Now people are going back to the
basics and eventually they're just gonna go.
Look. Being a hipster is not as cool
as it. Sounds like yeah, exactly.
(21:50):
No, but those messages that I would get from Marcus would be
just comments on episodes that he was listening to.
Yeah, but he could be behind by a couple of weeks.
And he's texting me like, like, I'm doing it live on the radio.
Like, I'll get a text guy. Yeah, but you got to be careful
about making sure that when you're setting your business up
that you do blah, blah. And I'm like, damn, he's the car
(22:12):
with me. Is Marcus in the room right now?
I'm. Sitting in my office typing up a
document, I get this message. I read that I'm like, was I just
thinking something? And you know, So what?
Where's that coming from? And so I would, at first, I
didn't get what was going on. I'd go quite often, so many
messages. And you'd go.
The episode with Heather Irvine,were you talking about, you
(22:33):
know? Wait till three weeks time when
he texts you this one, you are awide open centrefold and you
just go you're all right, blocked.
Yeah, well, that's some, that's some fun.
I wonder how much I'm going to have to edit out of of that just
(22:55):
to what, you know, people's feelings.
I don't want to say my dad's gotfat thumbs.
Your dad knows he's got fat thumbs.
Yeah, I think so. My my dad.
My dad will know. He knows.
He's fine. He's fine.
I. My dad probably doesn't listen
to podcasts. Well, this week, isn't it?
(23:18):
His phone's down. Oh, this is when they were up.
Yeah, when they were. Up, Yeah.
Do do you reckon, Carl? What would your dad listen to if
he were listening to podcasts? Oh it would absolutely be like
how to remove rust from 40 year old bolts in the garage.
But like an hour long, Yeah, podcast on it 100%.
(23:39):
Yeah, we used to have a book in our bookshelf called Rust and
Rot. Yep, Yep.
And How to Win Friends and Influence People.
But I don't know if you ever. Read that.
I haven't read that one. Yeah.
Is it still like really good? Yeah, I think so.
Still relevant. I think so they quoted they
quote the author of that in the secret.
So it's like all or of attraction Y stuff I think, but.
(24:00):
What I get from going back and reading The Secret again,
because I live my life like that.
I'm I'm still stuck on what podcast I would listen to so I
can recommend it and stuff. I wonder if there's roofing
podcasts How to fix the sacking on a roof?
We don't think that's a that's aYouTube thing.
That's not a podcast thing. I reckon it if you got dad and a
(24:20):
few of his mates together who volunteered at Narooma Golf Club
fixing the roof, I reckon, I reckon you can put a mic on them
in the clubhouse and turn that into a podcast.
They'd have stories to tell. Oh, wouldn't they?
About the Pop Riveting and the talk.
To me, about the number of listeners they'd have, they
wouldn't care. No, they'd only, oh, they
wouldn't even need to it themselves.
(24:41):
They wouldn't even post it. Yeah.
So I'm just searching on Spotifyfor roofing.
Podcasts. There's gonna be 1.
We've got a roofing playlist. What?
Well, hang on, let's see what's in the roofing playlist.
Love Shack kitchen roofs Rusty you, you need dad.
They need Dad on the Love Shack.Roofing playlist.
(25:04):
OK, here we go. Turn to stone.
Joan Walsh, Stairway to Heaven. Working man way to heaven.
There's no roof in there. Is there a roof in there?
There's a bustle in your hedgerow if you don't know.
It's a bustle. In your head, there's a bustle
in your hedgerow. I mean, I've often got a bustle
in my hedgerow. It's quite.
Distracting. That's from a song, isn't it?
(25:24):
Stairway to Heaven. A bustle in your hedgerow?
Yeah. Where's that?
If there's a bustle in your hedgerow.
That is not a thing. That is not.
Those are not the words, Julie. OK, they're not the words.
Now, I'm only saying that because I have no idea if
there's a bustle in your hedgerow there.
I mean, that's if there's a if. There's a bustle in your
(25:51):
hedgerow, you probably need to go to the GP.
It actually says that I. Know.
No, it's just what I'm saying isI've typed in if there's a bus
and all of the suggested things are if there's a bustle in your
hedgerow, don't be alarmed. Now, No, that's not that's.
Calling you to join him, it's. Not the words.
(26:14):
And did you know? Because.
Every other time you've done this with song lyrics, they've
been so wrong. Like so wrong.
Not tonight. If there's a bustle in your
hedgerow, don't be alarmed. Now is a lyric from Stairway to
Heaven part of the section wherethe songs in a rater is
describing a woman and the worldaround her.
The bustle in your hedgerow is ametaphorical image and is oh
(26:36):
hang on. Some suggesting my eyes had gone
ahead and seen sexual and I wentoh hang on, am I going to keep
reading the rest? With some suggesting it could
relate to sexual excitement or ahidden rendezvous, the line is
followed by the explanation. Yeah, it's just a spring clean
for the May Queen. Yeah, yeah, when I get a bustle
(26:59):
in my hedgerow, yes, I think need a bit of a spring clean in
the hedgerow. Well, the spring clean and.
You are known the main queen. I am the May Queen.
What on earth is that and how did I get this far into my life
before I found out about the bustle in the hedgerow?
What I want to know is why Stairway to Heavens in a roofing
(27:20):
playlist? Yeah, we.
Haven't hit the the reason for that.
Yet I don't think there are actually songs about roofing.
It's just songs to roof to whoa,you know, there's ACDC.
What do? You hear stairway to heaven when
you're up a roof. No, you don't.
The ACDC highway to hell. You don't want to hear that when
you're up on a roof. Either oops, I did it again.
(27:43):
That's when you hit the power cord.
Bang, bang. Maxwell's silver hammer came
down upon his head. Oh no, Purple Rain, you don't
want that, No. You don't want any of that
stuff. Thunderstruck.
Worst songs for for a roofing playlist.
(28:04):
Slip sliding away. Free falling.
Hammer to fall? Oh, no, no.
This is terrible. It's pretty funny.
We could make playlists for different occupations.
(28:24):
Yeah. But that's an anti playlist.
That's the anti playlist. That's what you don't want to
hear when you're up the. Roof when you've got the song,
shuffle on when you're up roofing and you're free falling
because of the secret, you don'twant to put these things out
there into the universe. No, correct.
Then they happen. They do.
OK, so there's no roofing podcast?
(28:46):
Well, not a podcast. What else can I recommend for
Dad? There's not that.
What's he going to listen to roofing.
Hang on, I'll go back because roofing and then sorry.
When I type in roofing the second the second thing it says
as a suggested thing. Rooting in the back of a youth
(29:10):
on a blanket with the tailgate down.
I don't want to tell dad about that one.
You'll get very confused. A couple of cans and a vegemite
sandwich. You'll go.
Wait a minute, I thought this was about rusted rock.
That is so funny. Can you imagine how Kevin Bloody
Wilson looks at the world today?I think he's still going around
doing gigs. Really.
Yeah, I think so. He shocked anyone these days.
(29:33):
How would he shock you? Like surely half his stuff was
shocked value because he said swear words.
How can you shock people now? It would shock me if Kevin
Bloody Wilson came out and said I'd rather be called Kevin Dan
Wilson and my ACT is squeaky clean.
Just that PC gigs. He's doing kids gigs now.
On the way here I went to the supermarket, bought some bread
(29:56):
and milk and milk expensive thatgear in it.
Yeah, roofing podcasts. OK, I did type roofing right?
I found a podcast called Rootingfor you.
But wait, beginner edible gardening.
(30:20):
What a name, what a tree they they have gone see.
I might be able to send that to dad.
He might listen to it because ofthe title, but he might get some
interest out of a cute little garden.
But they've got a gardening podcast.
I'm going to make it my mission.And by make it my mission, I
mean completely forget about it in a minute and not do it.
(30:41):
But what I think would be funny would be to go on a search for
clever names of podcasts based on what it's about, because
that's a gardening podcast. And they've got hey, hey, hey,
rooting for you. Oh my God, yeah, this is.
It's like my mum named it. Yeah, it's like.
She tried to name my business one time.
Oh. Hello.
(31:02):
What? What would?
What does she want you to go with?
Well, it was when I was singing and she's gonna kill me.
If she hears this, I'll make sure she doesn't listen.
Yeah. I'll tell her she's a big
podcast. Listener, I'll tell her that she
likes the ABC ones. Yeah and Australian stories type
things yeah, I'll tell her this one's called I'm a wide open
cenophile and she won't listen to it.
(31:23):
Good. So when I was singing, but back
when I was singing, I also was, I was clowning at children's
parties. I used to do calligraphy.
Shut up. I used to do calligraphy on
people's wedding invitations. But before we all had printers.
Stop laughing. I haven't heard a word you've
said since you slipped in when Iwas clowning at kids parties.
(31:49):
In fact, come back to me in halfan hour, I'll say that same
sentence again. I haven't heard a thing.
You said It's the way you just slide it in.
But you don't want to mention Alexandy, A villain,
ventriloquist monkey. He's not ventriloquist.
He doesn't talk, he's just a monkey.
(32:10):
Ah, that's right, he's just a nodder.
His mouth does open. Is he mute?
What? Happened was there a he lost his
squeaker. Oh.
I mean, he is 44 years old. I would love to find someone who
had you turn up at one of their parties as a clown or what?
Was Alexander as part of it? Yeah.
(32:31):
Absolutely. Sometimes, yeah, but not all the
time. If I was there on my own and I
had to run all the games and everything, well, I need both my
hands. So I couldn't do Wait what?
What? How does that work into the
cause? Alexander's just a monkey.
Yeah. How do?
How does that affect? You using he needs to be held.
Oh, OK. Because otherwise he'll fall
down. Yeah.
(32:52):
I I love Alexander. I really do.
There's something, I don't know what it is.
I love Alexander. When you break him out and and
he starts, I don't know, he I say he starts having a chat, but
he's more just reacting to things yourself.
Oh, he whispers in your ear. A lot of that gear.
I just find you kind of disappear.
(33:13):
And I'm all about the monkey. That's what happened when I
worked with Kermit the Frog. I forgot there was a dude under
the desk. This is Kermit.
Me and Kermit. Now how do you just keep
slipping these things in when you worked with Creme at the
Frog? Yeah, I did a cooking segment
with him. Like, I understand that you
(33:34):
don't know that I was a kid. Clown kids parties.
Because you didn't read the first half of the book, but you
read the second-half and that was in the second-half.
Did you skim it? No, no, I was right into.
It ChatGPT to summarize it for you.
My God, I've got an interview with an offer.
Can you please read to me the parts of Julie's book that only
pertain to me? I'm not interested in a single
(33:57):
other sentence except the ones that relate to myself.
Listen, I'm gonna get there one day.
I'll get the first half of the book read OK.
The second-half, apparently. No, definitely.
I was fully invested in that. I cried, nearly cried.
If I read it now, I would cry because I've got all my emotions
back. Do you know about that?
I've got, I've got tears now. I've had tears a couple of
(34:17):
times. Haven't cried yet this morning.
Like tears of joy or just. I mean anything, surely I've
brought out the whole range. Run the whole gamut of emotions.
Well, what I'm hearing is I haven't made you sad enough yet.
Oh, we'll get there. I should have brought you that
gluten free Rocky, right? You wanna see tears?
(34:40):
You'll see the full range you're.
Going This is delicious and I know it's blip.
Free. Yeah.
And then. And then you'd see anger, you'd
see tears, you'd see the excitement when you first handed
me. Yeah, they were.
Oh, it's a roller coaster of emotions there.
But I've got a I've got an interview with an author coming
up soon. In fact, you know her.
And you loved her first book. Yes.
(35:01):
This is what I tell people. I think the first book was
called Luminescence. Phosphorescence.
Geez. Bro I haven't started my
research yet. Julie, you like?
To read her book, you've no, I know read her.
Book, I'm going to say. This you don't know the title
yet. Bright shining.
No phosphorescence. No, no.
The new one. Oh, OK.
(35:22):
Yeah, I'm talking to her about the new 1.
So it's Julia Baird, right? Yes.
And I was like, oh, wait, Julie.No.
Julia Baird. Yeah, and she's.
She's amazed, like her phosphorescence.
I haven't read her second book which is called Grace which I
should read but. This is the third one I think.
So listen, you're the one interviewing her.
And I haven't started yet. I've got what day is it?
(35:44):
Oh, OK, I've got a week and it'sa big book.
I just I think I made a mistake committing to this one because
I. Say that out loud.
I will edit the spit out. I yeah, I've gotta knock over
the entire book in the next weekand then come up with the
(36:06):
question. So it's that words on the waves
and it's a what is it? What am I?
I'm a moderator, yeah. Yeah, that's.
So. You interview her, which means
you've gotta ask some, you know,insightful questions about the
text. Yeah.
And then you moderate the questions from the crowd.
Ohh. So.
I thought it was just me interviewing there for 45
minutes. Yeah.
And then usually 15 minute questions.
(36:27):
Oh. Yes.
Then there's 15 minutes of questions.
Yeah, yeah. The crowd.
So you get to say and and then you know, if somebody is veering
off into a long monologue of their own.
Knock it off, Janet. Yeah.
That's exactly. We've all heard enough from you.
Yeah, all day we have. Is there a question in there,
Janet? Yeah, OK, good.
I didn't realise it came with power.
His position? Comes with a little bit of
(36:47):
power, not too much power, but Iyou've.
Done it before. I did it last year with My
Autobiography and Can I tell You, Rob Carlton interviewed me.
He read the whole book, whole thing he turned out.
So I'm just giving you some tips.
Yeah, he turned up with a copy of my book that was so doggy and
worn it had post it notes sticking out of it, like don't
(37:10):
find out of a pork dog. Plus he had a book like an A4
notebook. And we sat down before we went
out and he opened the notebook and it was full of writing.
It was full of notes. And he was asking me now are we
good to talk about this? And you write to talk about
that. And if I go in this direction,
how do you feel about? And he it was the best interview
of. I can tell you right now that's
(37:32):
not what I'm going to do. If you want to cheat though,
just put a whole lot of post it notes in your book and she'll go
in with a good feeling. That is what I was thinking.
Like I was thinking, OK, this notebook that he had full of all
these scribbles and stuff. Did you actually look at though?
Because he may have just scribbled all through it or
maybe ones from previous ones he's done and just it made.
Me feel good. I'm gonna put a lot of post it
notes but I'm gonna be using my iPad so they'll just be.
(37:54):
That'll look weird. On my screen post it post it
notes, actual post it notes juststuck all over my iPad and I'm
just doing it 'cause of what yousaid.
Is any post it? No, OK, I'll.
Have to drop you does it and he's a good.
And then I pull my phone out of my pocket is also covered and
posted. Yeah, yeah.
He's like, what? What?
Why are you playing Candy Crush?Nah, listen, I will give it all
(38:15):
due respect. I will read the book from cover
to, you know, I will. I'll read the book from cover to
cover. I know.
I already know from looking at it and reading.
I think you'll love it. I'll love it.
Yeah. And I will have.
I will have more questions then I'll be able to fit it in the 45
minutes. 100%, you know that. And you know Julia Baird got in
contact with me when I was unwell.
(38:37):
Yeah, she said. I read about what you're going
through at the moment and I'd love to know your address.
I'd love to send you a copy of my book Phosphorescence.
And I was able to go back to herand say, I, you know, that such
a generous offer. I actually already owned the
book and I've listened to it on Audible as well.
So. Hmm.
And it has been very helpful. And I love, yeah, I loved it.
(38:57):
It's a beautiful book. I would start with that.
I'd go and me I'd go and read Phosphorus first and to get the
feel of cause that one was a bitbut I'm sort of running a bit
time. I can't do 2 books now.
I can barely do one and my reading.
Two book Rabs hasn't arrived. No, I one.
Book Rabs hasn't arrived. Let's be fair, half Book Rabs,
(39:19):
he's been here for a while. Now I the interview is happening
next Saturday at 10:00-ish 10/10/30 something like that.
And you've remembered it's not on a boat.
Oh, no, yeah. I thought your whole thing, word
words on the waves, was on a boat.
Was on a boat. So I don't get it.
It's at the beach. It's at the beach.
(39:39):
Yeah. But I I'm trying to do better at
certain things. Very trying.
And I'm thank you, I'm trying tonot read that whole book on
Friday. OK, well, do you need some
friendly reminders? What do you mean?
Mike, do you want me to help hold you accountable?
What are you going to do? So you've got a week, You've got
(40:00):
a week. Like being held accountable.
So. Why not my reading?
Well, you've got to get through a chapter today.
There you go, You've got to get through a chapter today because
guaranteed it's got more than 7 chapters.
So if you don't get through a chapter today, oh at least one
chapter, you've got a. Horrible way to think about it.
Yeah, this is not going to happen if I don't.
Start. Now, but I do.
You're going to read chapter 1 today, and once you've read
(40:22):
chapter one, chances are you'll feel like you want to continue.
But I'm going to put it on you that you've got to reject 1
today, and I'm going to check inwith you this afternoon and make
sure you have. First, I've got to find the
book. It's somewhere there.
Look, do yourself you must. Look out.
Favour and get it on audible, put it in your ears and then get
(40:44):
busy with your hands. Go tidy up your house.
Oh, I can do that. The laundry.
Get up and do some bloody roofing.
Not in this weather, yeah. Otherwise, you'll be climbing a
stairway to heaven. That soundtrack, yeah, I, yeah,
OK, I could possibly do that. Go get your rucksack on and go
for a walk. Yeah, And you know, pound out
four. Kilometres, but I got sent the
book and I'll have to pay for iton audible.
(41:06):
You will. It will be a bloody $14.00
investment. It'll be fine, Julie.
It'll be fine. Don't worry about it.
Why are you the one getting stressed out over this?
Skin audio book. I'm going to edit this together.
So I go I'm a widespread centerfold, and then Julie
(41:28):
throws cash at me out of her wallet.
Oh no. Julie just gave me $15.00 to
download. That's great, actually.
I need to get you frustrated about other things, but yeah.
(41:50):
Yeah. But you know what?
Oh, my car's broken down, but it'll be fine.
I've gone fine. Had some money.
Oh, I can tell you. Oh, the card.
I got the credit card. Trust me, that won't get you
anyway. You can maybe download another
audio book on that. That is so funny.
You know I and this is an ADHD thing.
(42:12):
What? I'll take the money though I'm
not going to download the thing.Like here's the problem, I'll
take the money and then leave. And then you won't read the
book. No, I'll read the book that is
going to happen like it's going to happen when?
Friday. Can't I read the whole book on
the Friday? Watch me.
This is it. See, you got to understand,
(42:32):
Julie, that different people's brains work in different ways.
And science. Brains are really.
Aggravating. I've had so many comments about
that Patreon episode that we didwhere I were playing 20
questions and I turned it into about 400 questions by changing
the rules. Oh people saying because it's a
(42:53):
video episode in the Patreon page as well and the comments
comments are about watching you just like just shrill and die
you. Know the little yeah.
During the whole thing, your frustration levels going through
the roof and there's this weird part of me that just finds that
so funny. I I see you going through pain.
(43:19):
I am in pain, so just know that it'll be OK.
I'm going to read the book. I generally read like a chapter
on my phone before I fall asleepat night.
I've got a great idea. I've got a great idea.
Go on. Cyrano de Bergerac.
I I don't know Cyranos de Bergerac.
I will read the book and I'll hide in the wings.
(43:43):
They generally have nice big potplants either side of the stage.
Behind a pot plant. Yes.
I have an earpiece in. Earpiece works, yeah.
And what? Are you going to do signals?
Yeah, well. It's going to whisper, but that
might be obvious. In Chapter 7.
She said, yeah, you know, earpiece is better.
(44:05):
I could do that. I mean, I was, I was going to be
away next Sunday, but I'll come home for that.
OK, I know what this is about. It's trying to sell tickets
towards the way. No if.
You haven't got tickets? This will be funny.
You're just trying to get my copy of the book.
That's what's going on here. Yeah, and you know what?
(44:26):
I'll do that spending the $15. I'm going to ring you up.
Yeah, I'm going to ring you up and go and you'll go Hey Jay
Goodo and I'll go chapter that. I'll get through as much as I
can into your ear before you hang up on me.
I'm going to read you the book. On stage.
(44:46):
No, this is now. This is today from.
Now on oh, you're going to be feeding me bits of the ball.
Yeah, so I'll do that. And when that fails, because
you'll hang up pretty quick, Yeah, then I'll do the on stage.
I've got, I've got multiple plans.
I've got 1C and C because I don't believe you're going to
read the book. I see what you're doing now.
The owl reverse psychology. I'm not a three-year old not
(45:10):
eating my spaghetti and you sat oh, you wouldn't eat spaghetti.
You're not gonna read the book. You're.
Not gonna eat that choc chip muffin I bought you.
It's got gluten in it. Watch.
Me. Well, watch.
You are a three-year old. This is not reverse psychology.
This is me trying to come up with a backup plan.
(45:32):
But I'm telling you, it'll be fine.
So apparently I know what you'retelling me, and I know how this
goes. Watch me.
This is I look back at things now from like when I was on the
radio and that there's this one Carol's night like Christmas
carols at Central Coast Stadium.I had this idea for a thing we
could do on stage and. How did that end up?
(45:56):
Pretty chaotic, I think, but it worked.
Yeah, kinda, you know. Was this the looping pedal
getting everyone involved thing?Oh, it might have been that one.
I think I've done it a few. Times chaotic but fun but funny.
Yeah, and. Everyone else is.
Stressing out AF. Yeah, and they go, I just need
to know all the details and thenwhat is it?
I'm like, it'll be fine. And then it is.
(46:18):
And. And that's frustrating for other
people. And this is, this is like fine.
Like you picture this, you are alittle puppy dog and you're in a
hat and you're sitting there saying everything's fine.
And behind you and all around you, everything's on fire.
That's exactly you just described my life.
(46:42):
I am that dog. The other one else is going.
Nelson in the naked garden in front of a factory full of
fireworks. Going off saying lovely to see
here, nothing to see here that's.
My life, everyone else is going,but look behind you.
The wreckage. The wreckage.
It's fine. Let's keep moving forward.
(47:05):
I will have that book read. I will do a great interview with
her. And I know.
Well, I know, I know I. Know you will too, just have an
earpiece on the day. Yeah, I'll see you then.
Thank you for your confidence. All right, well, I feel like the
next episode then is going to be.
I'll tell you when this episode's gone.
(47:25):
Oh, my God, This episode's potentially not coming out until
after that. Well, I'm going to have to
change that. This is going to have to be like
an extra episode coming out nextweek.
All right? This episode is going to come
out the day before when it's on the way.
It's when it's all. Too late and people are just
watching it like a train wreck that they can't turn away from.
(47:47):
It's a good reference point though.
Did he read it? Did he read it?
I read it. It's a good reference point
though, yeah, 'cause you know the next day when things happen.
Will I be in a pot plant whispering into a sleeve
microphone like an FBI? Because someone sees that and
then I go, OK, I get to the end of the whole chat and then I go,
OK, I just need to address the the Goodwin in the pot plant as
(48:09):
as it's known. Listen to the Pod Van podcast to
find out all about it. You can find it on Spotify, or
anyway you get your podcast. Patreon, $10 a month for extra
content. You'll nail that bit, yeah.
I don't need anything for that. Julie, I'll be sitting there.
Guy, what's happening? It's.
(48:30):
Fine, everything's fine. Write this.
Book. Oh, that's exactly what's
happening. I am releasing this on the day
before words on the waves God and and then after.
You wanna hope the organisers don't listen to the podcast
'cause they might be on the phone going.
Yeah, we've, we've contacted RobCarlton.
(48:50):
He's already got so many post itnotes.
He written in the hopes that he was gonna be asked to moderate
this session. He is more prepared than you.
Oh, I can't wait for the comments when I'm posting things
on Saturday from words, words onthe way.
Some people just that have heardthe episode coming.
Show us your post it notes. Oh, this is a very funny behind
(49:15):
the scenes of what's going to behappening there.
Yeah. And then obviously we will have
to do a follow up as to what happened.
I'll. I'll share the quote from Julia
where she goes. That was the best interview I've
ever done from from my side. That's what she says.
Don't know what the crazy guy with the lady in the pot plant
(49:36):
was doing, but oh, this is funny.
OK, good. Excellent.
I got it. It's.
Funny you got this. It's fine.
You got. This all right I.
Got faith in you, You know I do.Thank you.
So just study your face, Do you?I do.
It'll be fine. It'll be fine.
(49:57):
All right, well, stand by for the updates on awesome on how
that goes. Oh, now even I'm looking forward
to it. I mean, I was.
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