September 7, 2025 • 45 mins
I had the absolute pleasure of having a last-minute sit-down with the brilliant Jen, who runs the Central Coast 'Walk It Off' ladies group. What started as a chat about mental health quickly went in soooo many incredible and unexpected directions.
Jen opens up about how she lost 44 kilos, and the huge mental and emotional journey that comes with it. We also get into her life as a female carpenter, why some men find her independence 'intimidating', and how being raised by an incredible single mum shaped the woman she is today.
This is an AWESOME chat! Actually - if you enjoy it, please leave a comment on the episode! 🤗
Let’s connect! ⬇️
Facebook | Instagram | FB Group | Podvan Website | YouTube | TikTok
This is a Podvan Media production.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Rabbit podcast with Rabbit Hey, I'm Rabbit.
I record this podcast inside a cute little retro caravan from
1967 that I tore around all overthe place.
Fan podcast with rabbit. I reached out to Jen a couple of
months ago, maybe because my wife came home one day and said,
you know that walk it off group?I wear the Walk it Off T-shirt
(00:26):
all the time. It was a men's mental health
group that I saw. They were doing it in the Blue
Mountains and started doing it on the Central Coast and I saw
it popping up on Facebook. I reached out to Phil who ran it
and said, Dad, I'd love to come along and do an episode.
Well, walk and talk. It was a great episode.
It was a very windy night aroundTerrigal and there was a lot of
it I couldn't actually use. But then my wife comes home a
(00:47):
couple of months ago or whateverit was and says, hey, you know
the walk it off thing, They've got a women's one now.
And I told the lady that was running it that she should get
in touch with you. And then last night you popped
up. I did yes.
My life has been crazy trying torun 2 walk it off ladies group.
Really. I've got one in Terrigal that we
go on Thursday afternoons and then Saturday mornings at Long
(01:09):
Jetty. So when you send that through, I
love when someone can just seizethe moment.
Yeah, like I said, well, I'm recording down Gosford
Waterfront at 10:00 and 11:00 toit was on the radio first thing
this morning, then recording at 10:00 and 11:00.
Wanna jump in at 12 and you went, sure, why not?
And here we are. That's.
It let's breakdown what Walk it off is, for starters.
(01:30):
It's scheduling time for yourself really, isn't it?
Yeah, like I'm guilty of it. I do a lot for other people, but
that's just who I am. That's my character.
I feel like I need to also step back and take time for myself.
This morning I just got off and I went, oh, just gonna go for a
walk. Grabbed a coffee from Cafe 2261.
That long duty. I went down to Toon Bay and I
(01:51):
just messaged my friend. I'm like, hey, are you home?
And they're like, yeah, pop in. And you wouldn't normally do
that. No, I haven't in a while.
I've had a lot. I've been away in the last two
months. I've been to Ipswich, Canberra
and Byron Bay, just festivals and weddings and right, all
sorts of fun things that I do that them things for myself.
That's where I've taken the timeout and gone.
You know what? This is what I wanna do.
I'm gonna go and do it by my self.
(02:12):
Literally did it on my own, camped with some random people
that I'd never met before. You went by yourself?
I did. I went to CMC.
Well, CMC rocks. The country music was music on
amazing and didn't know anybody that was going because I had
people that I was supposed to gowith and they had to pull out.
And so found a random girl on Facebook in the the fan page and
I'm like, she's like, I've got acamp spot night.
Yeah, sweet, cool. I'll come with you.
(02:33):
And we're now great friends. And was she going by herself?
She. Was going by herself.
So you teamed it up with her before you went?
Yeah, yeah. We teamed it up, go together
literally on a couple of days. She was coming from the Blue
Mountains, I was coming from thecoast and we met there and
clicked straight away, became really great friends and we're
now planning on going next year.Oh, that is so cool.
Yeah. So what's your mental health of
(02:55):
choice? I figure someone who's running
walk it off. It comes from something.
I've struggled with my mental health just.
Sorry, I should have said are you OK to talk about?
It I am OK to talk about it. Yes.
No, no, no. I'm I'm very much open to
talking about it just because I feel it actually helps me.
So does stem from high school. I was bullied relentlessly just
(03:18):
because I was not your typical girl.
I was into sports. I didn't wear girly clothes.
I never wore makeup or worried about any of that sort of stuff.
I was very much a tomboy, playing all the sports and there
were certain people that didn't agree with that and they thought
we're going to target you, make you feel like you don't belong
here and you don't matter. And that's just, well, that's
(03:40):
how in me feel. To the point where I changed
schools four times in high school.
Yeah, it wasn't good. Started at one school, but it
then continued at the next school where I changed to, and
then I changed schools again, Continued.
I went to Goulburn to get away from it and still had issues
down there. It slowly got better.
Finished year 12, had my year 8.Your advisor come up to me at
(04:03):
year 12 saying oh, never thoughtyou'd make it to here and I Oh
yeah, cool, thanks. I'm.
Not sure how to take that. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, because his son was in my year.
That was when I went terrible high.
But yeah, graduated high school.Yeah, just over the years I've
had relationship issues because I'm 37 now and I'm still single
and so but. That's so funny, the way you
(04:24):
just said that just then. Yeah, almost like it's a, I
don't know, you know how that whole thing of like when you
think of everyone, everyone's judging you and thinking things
about you, and they're not like you actually run out.
They're thinking about themselves generally.
The way you just said that then was almost like.
Embarrassed. Not so much embarrassed, but.
It was like it was a thing that you were flagging up.
Yeah, because I feel like I thought my life would be
(04:46):
different. And that's right.
That's why it's my own perception of it that I thought
that I would be in a different place like I've been.
To you're surprised you're 37 and single.
Yes and no children, right Yeah,because I also to.
Me, I don't. Yeah.
You tell me that I'm just like, OK, yeah.
No, it's it's my own perception of it.
I know I shouldn't compare but Ido compare myself to others, one
(05:08):
being my sister. She is happily married to the
best guy I've ever met. Like, couple goals.
Yeah, they have my nephew. He is my favorite human.
Yes, in the entire world. I would literally drop
everything just for him. How old is he?
He's 3 1/2. Perfect.
Yeah. So he is a bowl of fun and,
yeah, full of energy. Right.
So I do compare myself to, because she's younger than me, I
(05:30):
thought that I would be already be there.
But I have been engaged, I've been in long term relationships
and it's just sort of never eventuated.
Previously it was my health thatwas all the issues with the
fertility. Oh, OK, 2 1/2 years ago I made a
decision to have gastric sleeve surgery.
So I've lost 44 kilos, which is,which is like a total.
Like it's a, it's a person. I've recently dropped 3 so it.
(05:53):
Should be 2 1/2 years I. Was pretty proud of it.
It's taken Me 2 1/2 years. Incredible.
I've got a few lessons of this show that I know have had the
Yeah. And in doing so, the banding.
Or the surgery. The surgery where they remove
80% of your stomach. Yeah, amazing.
Yeah. So it's.
Lifelong. When you say lifelong, it's
lifelong habits as well, and that's 'cause some people can go
(06:15):
back out. Again.
Oh yeah, 'cause you can. Stretch your stomach.
Yeah, and I've seen it happen. Yeah, it is a mental game, 100%.
You need to be mentally preparedfor it because it's a complete
lifestyle change. So for those who don't know
anything about it, the tiniest amount of food makes you feel
full when. Start, yes.
(06:35):
So at the start you're having very small portions.
And you couldn't eat more you. Physically can't.
Well, you could, but you'll justbring it back up.
There's no space. There's no space exactly, so
they do say one of the big things with having gastric
sleeve is you have to wait between eating and drinking,
which you should do anyway, the digestion.
So you've got to wait half an anhour.
(06:55):
So if you have something to eat,you've got to wait half an hour
till you can have a drink doing that as well, like having that.
Discipline. Yeah, that's the word discipline
to be able to do that. But there are times it's.
Retraining you 100. Percent it is because I've eaten
before and thought yeah I'll be fine, I'll just have a sip of
drink. No, it comes straight back.
No room. For this down.
(07:16):
Here it's not that you feel sick, it's you feel like it's
just going to come back up. It's been 2 1/2 years since I've
had my surgery so I now have thecapacity to eat more.
But I know when I'm full when I stop.
Like if I go out for a meal I get a kids meal which a lot of
places are really good with allowing me to eat the kids
portions because I physically can't.
(07:37):
That's. Funny 'cause they'd be thinking
you just want the cheap meal. Exactly.
And I said, well, I physically can't eat the big meal.
Yeah. And so are you open about the
oh, how did? That trick, yeah, yeah, I
actually started a Instagram page to sort of catalog my
journey, yeah. And be very open about it, which
it's helped friends of mine because they've reached out to
me and said, hey, can I get someinformation?
(07:58):
Yes, you're very open. I say yeah, I well, I've got
nothing to hide. So.
Some people don't feel comfortable talking about it,
but yeah, I am a very outgoing person and so it just fits my
personality to. 'Cause it can help other people
when you, when you see that, that's why I talk about my, my
mental health. Yeah, stuff on here is because
it can help. Yeah, other people.
And when you have the surgery, right.
(08:18):
So it's not liposuction or something like that.
You don't come out any smaller, do you?
I I guess your stomach size but that's internal.
Bigger at the start because theypump you in, pump you full of
gas to because it's keyhole surgery so they push.
Keyhole. Surgery.
I've got 3 scars on my stomach and that's it.
Oh my God. Yeah, yeah.
So there are certain surgeons that do a 5 hole surgery, but
(08:43):
mine was only three. So my my surgery was out at
Gosford Private Hospital by Doctor Wald.
And there's actually a Facebook page called the Wonglets.
The wrong let's the ones who've had it done.
Everyone that's had their surgery by doctor.
Well, like I've heard that before.
So I wonder if this one listenerthat I'm thinking of was through
that one as well. Yeah, so he's at Gosford private
and. Yeah, maybe then, but randomly
(09:04):
reach out to me and tell me fromhere.
But coincidentally, he actually took my gallbladder out a year
prior. Alright.
Oh, he's used to going into you and taking things.
So that's what I've got more scars, but it's from having my
grass removed as well. It's.
He could sign them all, Yeah, aswell.
What Wong was here when? So you come out of that.
(09:26):
The weight loss happens because of the inability to eat what you
were eating before. Correct.
And because what I was told was that when they cut out the
portion of your stomach, there'slike hormone receptors in that
part of your stomach that actually get taken out with it.
But it is also a lot of mental retraining that you need to
because you need to eat what youneed to survive.
(09:49):
When you first come out of surgery, you're on a liquid diet
for a couple of weeks and then you transition to mushy food or
baby food, you would call it. I didn't go that far.
I'd just say Mashed potato. Oh.
Yes. And Jelly and stuff like that.
You had need to prioritize protein.
So it's just adding protein. Like there's a company that does
a bariatric formulated protein called cost Price Supplements
(10:12):
and they have been fantastic. They're tasteless so you can add
it to anything. Oh, interesting.
Oh, wow. So you can get the protein?
Yeah. Protein, it's like.
Spreading protein powder over your into your mashed potatoes.
Yeah, pretty. Much, Yeah, you can add it to
food, you add to drinks and stuff and so.
But OK, for me, having the surgery actually healed my body
of having polycystic ovaries, OK.
(10:32):
Which for females is a massive thing that's affect your
fertility, but it also affects your weight and hair loss and
all that sort of stuff. Since having the surgery,
apparently my hormones have goneback to a 30 year old because
I've cured myself from having polycystic ovaries.
And is that due to the weight that you were carrying before?
(10:52):
It's also hereditary. Yeah, OK.
Yeah, I've got family members that have had polycystic ovaries
and so there was always a chancethat I was going to have this
condition and but losing the weight 100% is the reason that
my body's cured itself. So you brought up the 45K weight
loss, so are you OK with talkingabout numbers and where you
(11:13):
were? Yeah, I, well, I'm 5 foot 2, so
I started at 116 1/2 kilos. At 5 foot 2.
At 5 foot 2 so I was just short and.
Round. Basically, it's round.
Just round and so I went from a size 18 and I would, my clothes
were tight fitting and I'm now down to a size 10.
(11:34):
Jeez. Which is incredible to me.
It's I have to buy a whole wardrobe, which is a good
problem to have. Golden bag.
It's, it's expensive, expensive at the same time, but let's talk
about that because you can get very superficial about that and
just go you round and now you'rea size 10, whatever that's,
that's, that's that side of it. And there is this is a emotional
(11:56):
and psychological effect of 1. 100% there is and everyone deals
with it differently. I was one of the very lucky ones
that had been wanting to have the surgery for about 3 years
prior to actually being able to afford to get it because it's
not a cheap. Will you say how much?
I will. It's about 18 1/2 thousand
dollars. God, yeah.
So that's why if you're gonna doit, you commit to it and you
(12:19):
stick to it and you don't do thewrong thing by your diet because
it's a lot of money to spend to then.
Go backward because you can write you and and some people
have had it done multiple times.Yeah, yeah.
They've had revisions done because they've gone off the
course of their diet. That something's happened in
(12:39):
their life. Where because it is, it's 100%
it's mental like you, your mental health is massive with
it. I've got a friend who said that
because she's she's had the surgery she reached out to me
prior to having it and do. You get a referral thing now,
no? If only so she's had the
surgery. She looks absolutely fantastic.
(12:59):
She's lost about 50 kilos, but her brain hasn't caught up.
So she's actually in therapy to target that, basically to help
her brain, but it's body dysmorphia.
Like she'll look at clothes and go, oh, that can't possibly fit
me. It's my daughter's because she
said to me the other week her daughter went Mum, these aren't
(13:20):
mine, these are yours. Oh, I'm not that small.
It's like, well, yes, you are. She's her brains not caught up.
Wow. How her body actually looked.
But like I said, it's not like you go in one day and then you
come out the other day, the nextday like that, it happens over.
Time over a period of time I lost my I.
The bulk of my weight I lost within the first eight months.
(13:41):
Yeah, so and like, I was very fortunate I didn't have any
complications. I've got friends that have had
complications even back in hospital.
They have gotten really sick. They've not been able to eat
specific foods that they used tobe able to eat, whereas I've
been really lucky I can't eat anything.
I had a tiny blood clot in my wrist, but it was just because
of how the cannula was inserted and removed.
(14:03):
I did the Clexine injections forblood clotting and I was fine.
Is your stomach? And when I say stomach, I'm in
the actual stomach. Is it now at normal person's
size? No.
No, no, no, it will. So basically your stomach is
like a sleeve in a big pouch. Yeah, the pouch is gone.
(14:23):
So that's my stomach. Like 80% of it's been removed.
It's like a tube, basically. Now instead of being like this
big sack, it's now just a tube and so that's why you can't fit
as much food in. Then what do you reckon the size
of your stomach is in comparisonto mine?
Oh. It'd be tiny.
Really. Yeah.
It'd be absolutely tiny. So you won't get back to the
(14:45):
point where your stomach size would match my stomach size?
No, because that would lead to. Yeah.
Well, if I continually override then it would probably stretch
back yes to, probably because that.
Does happen? I know that that does.
It can happen, probably not the full size but close to it.
But if you keep to the diet, eating the right foods.
(15:05):
Like I still have pizza and doughnuts and hot chips and
stuff. Like 1 slice, yeah.
Right. Yeah, literally.
I used to be able to eat a wholepizza.
I can eat 2 slices, maybe 3. So is this 2 for life now?
So what's really interesting is when you talk about the mental
side of it. And my wife and I, yeah, we talk
about this all the time, about the fact that it's a cycle.
(15:26):
It just goes round and round andround. 100%.
You put on weight, you feel crapabout yourself.
And so then you eat some junk food.
Yeah. In the evening.
It's the worst for it. Yeah, and then the next day you
beat yourself up about it because you're such an idiot,
because you know better than this.
And I should be going to the gymthis morning and I can't get
myself into that, That steak andeverything.
No. No sooner the couch and I'm
gonna eat some chips and chocolate.
Yeah. Where I still have those days,
(15:48):
Yeah, I still do have those days.
Where something happened at workor like someone like something's
been said or just in my personallife that another guy that I've
been talking to has lied to me or not made the effort that I
feel I deserve. I'm not going to take less than
what I think I deserve and that.Maybe that's why you're single.
(16:09):
But they, these guys ask me, they say, oh, so why are you
single? I said, because I can't find an
honest gentleman. And instead of saying, oh, but
I'm gonna just go, Oh yeah, that'll happen.
They just agreed. It's like, you know what you
need to lower your standards, No?
Can I tell you so? Apparently really hard to find.
It's really interesting. So I've been hearing seeing all
(16:30):
these stats lately and I love the Diary of Aceo podcast.
It gets brought up quite often in there that there's this
strange thing happening where there's this group that are
really struggling at the moment that isn't massively being
spoken about. But the data is there.
All the actual numbers are there.
And it's young men. It's going to be a problem
(16:53):
because of the push for equalityand, and with wages and all
those kind of things. And yeah, there's always more
that can be done, but there havebeen improvements.
What's happening happening? There's so many interesting
things happening. Women are not settling for less.
They are getting the positions that men would have gotten in
(17:14):
the past. Yeah.
There's certain roles in the workplace where suddenly like
management are saying that it's actually better having women in
those roles. Yep, because of the way their
brain works. For reference, I'm a Carpenter
so that also has been in an issue as well because there's
men that find that intimidating.Yeah.
And what's going to happen now is a guy is going to miss out on
(17:36):
a job because of you. And young men have never been in
that situation before. And what's happening is because
now, especially with like, I don't want to get into porn on
the Internet, but here we are with the Internet and that these
days they are going out less guys are going out to meet
(17:58):
women. The guys are feeling intimidated
and they're just not putting in the effort.
Yeah, and I've found that 100% like I now I say I want to meet
someone and I want to be in a rush ship.
I don't go out because I don't drink as much as I did
previously and that's just a personal choice.
It's not that I had an issue with alcohol, it's just that I
(18:21):
don't like being hungover. I like to be able to get up in
the morning feeling fresh. And also with having the gastric
sleeve, it takes a lot for me toget drunk because my metabolism
is so quick because my stomach'sso small.
Oh, it just. Processes a lot quicker.
Oh, wow. And so going out, like, I can go
(18:42):
out for a drink or two and I waslike, oh, yeah, that's me done.
And I'd rather go out for a meal, get up in the morning and
go for a coffee, go for a walk like that.
Yeah, is what I prefer. But there's a lot of people that
will go, oh, let's go get a drink.
Yeah. It's just like, well, but what
to do? Yeah, but now it's really
interesting seeing these stats and watching this and why
(19:02):
they're bringing it up about like the young guys is that
it'll be a problem. Like it'll be a young men and
their testosterone and pent up, whatever it is.
You know, there's just the birthrate is dropping and there's so
many, yeah, more women that are just not settling, not selling,
(19:23):
that you see, they can do better.
And yeah, there's this whole group of young guys.
Their employment rate is dropping.
Well, that's like, yeah, with being a Carpenter, like I have
seen that, and this is from the TAFE stats as well, that there
are less people actually finishing their apprenticeship.
I just think that all came off the the statement of maybe
(19:45):
that's why I'm single. Me throwing it.
That's probably why his eagle isthey're not.
Yeah, not settling. There's been a there's
definitely been more of a shift there.
Or even on the flip side of that, I've got a lot of friends
that are single mothers. Yeah.
Because they've they've been in a relationship, they've been
with the partner and then the man's not stepped up or
something's happened in the relationship and then so they've
(20:07):
ended up on their own. And they're like, but I don't
want to be with someone that's not going to step up.
Not so much provide, but be a partner.
Yeah. For me, I grew up with my mum
has been on her own raising 4 girls since I was three years
old. Wow.
Yeah, OK. I've been brought up by an
independent woman who didn't need a man to do anything and
(20:31):
has proven that to me that I cando it on my own.
And that's also an issue, that Iam very independent.
I've lived by myself there so long.
When you said I don't need a manto that.
But I want one. That's the issue.
Yeah. I don't need one, but I would.
I would really like to be in a relationship.
I'd like to have someone to comehome to to to share my life with
(20:51):
and but haven't found one that'shonest.
There's just show up, there's a shift that's happening.
There really is. The more single mums bringing up
kids by themselves. That's that's generational.
So the the kids from then you grow up going I don't need a
man. And I'm at the point where I'm
(21:12):
actually thinking about having achild on my own.
Yeah. Because I want children talking
about. I want children, yeah.
And I'm kind of sick of waiting,basically.
And and then what happens from the and and it's built into a
guys DNA to protect and provide and be the man of the house and.
(21:35):
When a woman can do it on her own, they get intimidated.
Or just don't know. What to do What?
To do, where do I? Where do I stand?
Where? Do.
I stand. Yeah.
And I've actually had relationships in the past where
part of the reason why it didn'twork out was because of that.
But I feel like I shouldn't haveto change everything about me.
Yes, I'm independent. Yes, I can do things for myself,
(21:57):
but having someone there to helpme with it would be fantastic.
But I found that there are some men that do find it
intimidating. They're like, well, no, well,
what do you need me for? And that's their attitude.
And it's just like, well. I don't need you, I want you.
Yeah, exactly. And they don't, they can't
differentiate. Yeah, the difference between
that they think, oh, you don't need me, I'm gonna go or you
(22:19):
don't need me. I'm gonna go find a girl because
I'm actually, I went on a date. This was really funny with a guy
with a man button. And he told me that he was
looking for someone girlier. Literally what he told when I
was like, mate, you've got a manbutton.
I think you're girl enough for the televised and.
You've got this covered. You've got a.
(22:40):
Covered and it's just the I justwent I told some of my
girlfriends about it and they'relike are you for real and I was
like yeah that's literally what he told me we met for coffee and
breakfast and then after the date I said oh so she'll we'll
go on a second date and he's like oh I'm just looking for
someone a bit girly I. Believe, he said that.
Righto, like I turned up in my activewear cause we've got to go
(23:01):
for a walk and everything like that and see I was like Yep,
cool, OK. I think you nailed it with and
that's going to be really interesting to watch over over
time. Is that word need that you don't
need a man and and? That's and the, the problem is
with that, it's that girls are being brought up now to not need
a man because of these specificsof divorced.
(23:25):
There's like women being on their own and going, you know
what, I'm going to do it myself because if I don't do it myself,
it's not going to get done. And growing up my mum, like I've
got three sisters. None of us are the same.
We're completely different people.
I am the builder in the family. I've got two sisters that are
teachers and one sister that hasadmin at the hospital.
(23:45):
So we're all completely different, but that diversity
between us makes us individual. Yeah.
And so, but my mum has brought us up to be individuals.
Like growing up, when we demolished our cubby house, it
was just me and my mum had to have as hell.
We were just bashing away and. Yeah, Carpenter for a long time.
Have you been to Guandalan Bowling Club?
(24:06):
They're right there on the shores of Lake Macquarie.
They do delicious meals upstairsin the Four Shore Bistro and
Cafe, which is run by the Dish Catering Group.
So, you know, it's good stuff and you can dine out on the
balcony looking out over the lake.
It is beautiful. They got the cute little
foreshore kiosk for a coffee andsnacks right by the jetty.
(24:26):
The entertainments? Top notch.
They got Friday night seafood raffles and Sunday sessions with
live music in the beer garden. You wanna find out what's
happening at the club? Check out their Facebook page or
visit gwendalenbowlingclub.com dot AU King Gumper Mitre Chan
have been big supporters of the pod Dan podcast right from the
start, and you get all the stufffrom them that you'd expect to
(24:47):
you get plans, you'd get all theWeber stuff.
You get all the steel gear, the amazing principal kitchens, but
it's the stuff that you don't expect like we.
Had an elderly lady come into the store and she brought her
remote control from her television and she didn't know
how to get it to work. And we opened it up and saw that
she just needed new battery. And then she told me that her
(25:08):
husband had recently passed awayso he was the one that did all
that stuff for her and she didn't have anybody around to do
that so she needed us. So we took batteries out of the
packet and put them in the remote and we helped her out and
made her day. That's what she got.
And the mighty helpful King Campbell Minor Gen. podcast with
Rabbit. My mom was also brought up to be
(25:35):
self-sufficient, worked 3-4 jobsto be able to provide for us
because we did sport growing up as well.
So we've been in the sporting community since I was four years
old. So being able to facilitate us
doing top level sports. Like we went to state branch,
like for the knickers we did in a branch and state for
athletics. We went to state titles and all
that sort of stuff. Like we've been to New Zealand,
(25:57):
Yeah, for athletics. A lot, yeah.
And so Mum being able to do thatfor us, obviously she's my hero
because I wouldn't be where I amtoday without her.
Yes, we have our conflicts because we are like very alike
me and my mother. So we so it's.
Funny then that we're so this all comes from right back at the
start where and all of this is nothing that we were gonna talk
(26:18):
about. But start off at a.
Tangent I but I love it. I, I think it's funny how it,
this all started from you going,I'm 37 and single and saying it
like that. And now I hear all of that and
go, yeah, I mean, I mean, yes, your mum brought up 4 girls.
She did everything by herself. She worked all of these jobs and
(26:40):
stuff. And you're so much like your
mum. I mean, and here you are and
you've just said you don't need a man, you'd like a man.
Yeah, you want a man, whatever. But you don't need one.
No. And I feel, and that's I say,
like I do feel that men find that intimidating, that I'm at
the point where I'm just like, you know what?
I don't, I don't actually need you in my life.
(27:00):
But I would like someone. Yeah.
And but also that what is what plays on my mental health as
well-being on my own and thinking, oh, should I change
who I am to be able to be with someone?
Oh, you start looking at us. Yeah, that's it.
And I start saying, oh, is it me?
Is it because I am so independently because I can
(27:21):
build something without? I own all the power tools so I
can literally build anything I want at any.
Time. It's funny because I wouldn't
think of the word intimidating like I would I would.
Have been told that. Yeah, but I now get it.
Like when you say that, like in our house, that's my thing.
Like I have all the power tools.I love being on the tools.
(27:42):
I built this the whole pod. I'm about to renovate a caravan
myself. Yeah, I was about to say, see,
this is the thing I was just about to say.
I've got plenty of tips for you if you do.
And then I thought you don't need them.
You don't need them. Yeah.
And the change there is when I say that's my thing, like I I'm
fully into the tools and I'll being on the tools and I love
(28:03):
when Sav does when my wife gets on the tools and does anything,
I'm like, that's great. But as she suddenly became just
full all about the tools, you know, fully on the tools now.
So when I say that's my thing, what's my thing now?
Exactly, Yeah. I thought that was meant to be
my thing. And that's the the mentality
behind it is that there are a lot of men that go well, that's
(28:24):
the man's job. Yes.
That's that's that old. School years and years and years
and it's generational. Old school mentality where being
in the construction industry, I have had to deal with that as
well. And so that plays on my mental
health is like there's men in myline of work that I actually
have more experience than that think, Oh no, I'm going to do it
because I'm the man. And this is like, well, but I
(28:47):
know what I'm. But you know why?
Because his dad did. And Pop did.
Correct. And it's ingrained in them for
that the man does the man's job.And the reason that I'm not
engaged to this guy before is because I worked 50 hours a
week. I used to work in hospitality.
So I ran an entire Tavern, did 50 plus hours a week, but was
still expected to come home, do the washing, do the cooking, do
(29:10):
all of that because I was the wife of the house.
Like I was the wife. I was the the woman of the
house. And it's like, well, no, I said
I didn't wear your clothes. I didn't, like, eat off your
dishes. I think, yeah, we do it as a
team. And it's that perception of
women belong in the kitchen. And the man provides.
And the man provides because that's how his parents are.
(29:31):
And his parents and and their parents and their parents and
their parents. So like, I mean, looking at this
so much lately because of so many things happening in the
world and things are happening faster now.
And I think if you can just always just step back on some
things and go, well, This is whylike, yeah, it may be wrong for
the bloke to just be going put on the man of the house and I do
(29:53):
this and this. And then the world is changing.
And it may not necessarily be like that, but if you can look
at that and go, but This is why that's in your brain.
Doesn't make it right or right or it just it just.
Helps. Yeah, I knew the reason why he
was like that was because of howI saw his parents.
Yeah. So that's that was their
relationship. They were very in that old
(30:14):
school mindset of yet the man provides the woman statement.
I also don't think that that's wrong.
I, I, yeah. Different, different
relationships, different people.Oh yeah, yeah.
Want different things? And that's exactly right.
And they're. Happy to just keep going through
that path. Correct.
Yeah, there are some women that would love to just stay home.
Generally it's because they're looking after children and
(30:35):
they're happy to do that. And the man goes out and he
works and provides. Yeah, that sort of stuff.
But that's the. Standard old relationship.
Correct. Whereas being brought up in a
single parent household, I have a different perception of how.
The world is, and again, that's happening more and more and more
now, correct. Yeah.
(30:55):
And this is what's leading to these women coming up that are
getting into great positions at work in their 20s and having
great careers and seeing the path of I can do this.
Like I don't, I don't I don't need you.
Do you get to that point, though, where you because I know
of like women that will will say, yeah, I'm single and that's
(31:16):
just me. I'm just going to be.
And that's and I'm fine with that.
And guys as well, more guys, these are doing that.
Do you see yourself getting to that point because you've said
you, you. Oh.
No, I'm actively trying to to find someone but.
I wonder if you get to a point where you'll just go.
Well, I've, you know, I've had the conversation with my mum
about this, about like the children's side of things, that
(31:37):
if either I don't have one on myown or if I don't meet someone
when I turn 40, that's it, I'll just be the fun auntie.
Being over the age of 40 would be detrimental to my health.
But also a child, trying to havea child over the age of 40 is
dangerous. There are studies and all that
sort of stuff. But if I get to that age and
(31:59):
I've not had a child, I will be content being an auntie.
Far out man, any dude that meetsyou.
That plays on my mental health as well.
That's a massive thing because like I said, my nephew's 3 1/2,
right? This is 2 years younger than me.
And so there's that way of thinking is, yeah, she's done
that already. I should be.
(32:20):
I should be. There.
I should have already been there.
Yeah. So that plays on my my mind all
the time as well. It's like, well, I thought my
life would be completely different at this point than
what it is. It's.
Gonna say before any dude that meets you in the next two years
better be ready, yeah? But also with that, I am very
upfront about it. I'm not here to waste my time.
(32:40):
And that's what I sort of say. I say, look, do you have
children? Do you want children?
Because I want children within the next two years.
If you're not on board with that, please don't waste my time
because it's happened. It's a weird.
Way to start the date but hi what's?
Your name should happen prior tomeeting them, so.
Prior to meeting things. Prior to me.
(33:01):
God, really. Yeah.
Yeah, I. Like I was joking about the like
on the first date bringing it up, you go before.
Yeah, like I said, I'm at the point where I, I'm, I've got no
time to waste at this point. And so if someone's not in that
mindset of either I want more children or I want to have
children, yeah, than me pursuingsomething with them and then
(33:25):
later on down the track finding out, oh, but I don't want kids.
But I'm just wasting my time. Boy, it puts a lot of pressure
on the relationship early days, doesn't it?
Because and. I know that that probably
reduces my chances. Yeah.
But that's that's how I see my life.
You. Could find the right one who's
who's in the exact same boat as you.
Correct. Someone's got that same
forethought of this is what I want to do, this is how I see my
(33:45):
life going because like I said, I don't have a lot of time.
If I want to have children before I turn 40, yeah, it sort
of thins out the herd, basically.
Yeah, yeah. But you're being true to you and
what you're looking for. Yeah, and that's it.
And that's what I need. Honesty is the best policy.
That's what I ask of people thatI'm talking to.
I need honesty and communicationbecause those are two things
(34:09):
that are very important to me. If there's no honesty and
there's no communication, there's no relationship.
Wow, your tattoos have just been.
I've been wanting to look at them the whole time.
Do you got a lot of tattoos? I.
Have a lot of tattoos. There's some like there's ones
in my leg. Really.
Yeah. What?
What? I wanna do a whole episode at
one point of just like. Your tattoos me.
So, well, I reckon I could do a whole spin off podcast about
(34:34):
tattoos. 100% there's they probably already exist.
But you know, my whole podcast is about people's stories.
I love getting people's stories.Well, every tattoo is a story.
Yeah, most of them are stories. Probably 90% of them have
meaning. Is that like an Illuminati one
on your finger? It is the Deathly Hallows from
Harry Potter. I wonder how many people think
(34:58):
it's like an Illuminati thing. I mean, I don't know what is the
Illuminati thing? Isn't it like a triangle with a
circle in it? Or is it a circle with the I
don't know or no? I think it's more like an I.
I don't know. Illuminati is an I.
Yeah, the Deathly Hallow. That's.
Funny from Harry Potter, Yes it is.
That's goals. I yeah, 'cause well, after I
went to CMC, a friend of mine, she is now my tattooist, and I
(35:22):
actually have a Highland cow head tattooed on the back of my
car as a commemorative piece. Because when I do certain things
I like for the first time, CMC this year was my first one.
So I'm going to get something totell.
Right, That's right. Is that one on your finger new?
Yeah. Yeah, it's only it was like the
week after CMC, so it's only like a month or so old.
(35:42):
When I take the bod van to places, I like to get a trinket
from a gift shop and put it up on the wall.
You tattoo something on your body?
Amazing. Yeah, because like I've got like
some of them like the the Roman new rules is the date that I had
my surgery. OK, that's.
Yeah, 10/11/2022. Yeah, I'm telling you, we could
do a whole podcast. I could just see this now.
(36:03):
I'm completely covered. Yeah, I'm glad I've brought it
up now so I can actually have a real good look.
The whole time you in talking, Ijust be like, I wanna, I wanna
know what's written down the bicep on on that side.
He says take. Me as I am or watch me as I go.
I got that after I left my fiance, OK, because he was the
type of guy the with that old school mentality and I just, he
was trying to change me and it literally took one of my best
(36:26):
mates. He came to visit me and he's
like, who are you and what have you done with Jen?
He said my personality had completely changed being with
this person. It's opened my eyes to the fact
that I wasn't happy. I wasn't being true to myself.
I wasn't myself anymore. I was I was in my 20s.
I was young but in the love bubble thinking, Oh yeah, this
is what what it all is. We've been best mates for 21
(36:47):
years. And so for him to say that to
me, it was like, OK, something'sgoing on if I did.
You think anything was wrong at that point before he said that
with you? Not to the extension, no.
No, not to that extent, No, no. I knew that I wasn't 100% happy,
but I didn't think it had changed me that much for him to
go. Who are you and what have you
done with the Gen. that I know for him to say that to me until
(37:10):
I went Oh OK. Wow.
It's that made me sit back and think of oh OK, maybe this has
affected me more than I realised.
If we rewind to the start of theepisode, it was the fact that
you're here and you're walking off T-shirt.
I know that's a mental health thing and you go on these walks
and then I just asked what's your mental health issue of
(37:30):
choice? There's a few.
And here we are. There's a.
Smorgasport of mental health issues.
Tell us about Walk It Off and what it is.
So walk it off. The original group Phil started
down in the Blue Mountains because that's where he's from
at now he moved to Terrigal. I will too, Wamberal.
But Terrigal has that, the boardwalk, the Haven, all that
sort of stuff. And that's how we do our walk.
(37:51):
So the men meet every Wednesday at Terrigal Haven and the women
now meet on a Thursday. We meet at 5:00 at Trojans at
the restaurant there and for me,Walk It Off has just been an
outlet to talk about what's going on in my life and it's
more a social group now with thewomen in the group.
(38:13):
Probably a third of my women areover the age of 60, so they've
either retired, relocated, divorced, widowed or just
haven't been out in the world for a long time.
And they're finding that they want that social connection,
they wanna make friends, and this has facilitated the need of
women coming together just to have a chat.
(38:35):
I found with the men's one, they're not necessarily talking
about what's going on as far as mental health wise, no, no, no.
Or the thing that they're struggling with or telling the
story about when they lost theirjob or anything.
It's literally just connection. It is.
It's connect, it's social connection and it's just about
having someone to talk to because there are so many men
and women that feel like they don't have anyone to talk to.
(38:58):
They don't have those friendshipconnections that they used to
have because either they're friends of passed away or moved
on. And so being that like Terrigal
is becoming more of a retirementcommunity, the aging population
of the coast, a lot of them do move there because they've come
from Sydney and they've moved tothe coast and set up themselves
(39:19):
in Terrigal and they don't know anybody.
And so they're like, how do I meet people?
Because I had a few ladies even yesterday with my long jetty
group, 5 new ladies turned up today out of the 16 that were
there, and two of the ladies hadjust moved to the coast in the
last month or so. They're like, I don't know
anybody, how am I going to meet people?
And they saw my group on Facebook, so they saw Walk it
(39:41):
Off Long Jenny ladies on Facebook.
And they went, you know what? I'm gonna go do that.
What do you reckon the percentage would be of ones
turning up that don't have a mental health issue?
Aren't struggling with anxiety really.
Yeah, I reckon more than half are literally just there for the
socializing. That was what I was picking up
on. I think the men's one is 100%.
(40:04):
It's a mental health thing. Yeah, I think.
I'm pretty sure I'd have to check with Phil.
The majority of the men are there for their mental health
but I do like I've had conversations with Phil and he
said there's some guys that justturn up because one of their
mates is there and they've gone to support as well.
That's a big thing. I've got a few ladies in my
group that come up from Sydney to support one of their friends
(40:26):
who her husband had a accident and he has a brain injury.
He is housebound and so she's been housebound for the last
four years. She's now at a point where she's
able to get out of the house andher friends have been here to
help support her to get her backinto the world basically, which
is fantastic. But even to say that, did you
(40:48):
say 50%, like about half, yeah, would be not there with any
mental health, Yeah, issues or something that they're, you
know, struggling why they're doing.
Yeah, but then when you think about it, doing the walk,
turning up to this thing is goodfor your mental health 0100,
even if you don't have a problem.
Yeah, yeah, when I say a. Problem, You know that you're
dealing with anxiety, you're doing a depression, right?
It's something like that that you're struggling with.
(41:09):
Yeah. Turning up to something like
that and meeting people like it's.
Good. Yeah, because.
Walking, yeah, walking got exercise is always good for it
too. But I have a few ladies who have
been very open about the fact that they have been in DV
relationships, right. And so having a women's group
where they feel safe is something that they are want
(41:30):
able to commit to. They're able to get out of the
house because they know that they're going to be around a
supportive group of women. And then I also have women that
have gone through cancer. And so having the mental health
side of that through recovery orremission or I've got one lady
that has had breast cancer twice.
She's had to have a double mastectomy, but she's also gone
(41:51):
through a DV relationship. And out of random coincidence, I
actually used to own a business called Tradie Lady Handywoman
Services. Great.
No, it flows really nice, pretty.
Long name but. Kinda comes out like hoody goody
goody. Exactly.
Lady handyman services. Yeah.
What was it Trade tradie Lady handyman services handy.
Tradie lady. Tradie lady so handy lady
(42:14):
services. Tradie lady handy woman
services. No, I take it back.
It's not cash. No go.
It's not. Because I couldn't it flows
nicely. Jady lady handy woman women
services services. Yeah, so COVID unfortunately
diminished that business, but which sucked.
But this particular lady was put.
(42:34):
We've got now got name tags because there's a lot of women.
I'm terrible at remembering people's names.
So we've got name tags and on the back of the card I've been
getting less to put an emergencycontact.
She's written down her son's name and I just went, I know
that name, that's not a common name.
And I said I'm the tradie lady. And she's like, no, because I've
lost a lot of weight, changed myhair colour, right?
(42:56):
And every time I've seen her, she's got a hat and sunglasses
on. When I went to her house, she
was no hat, no sunglasses. And so the two of us didn't
realise. We've known each other for six
years. You've been working on things
for her. She's been, yeah, Back when I
had the business, yeah, I went to her house and I did some
security upgrades for her. Right.
Because she, with a lot of DV women, they don't want men in
(43:18):
the house. They don't feel comfortable.
And so me. With my business, it did feel
the need of that I and unfortunately did have to stop
the business. But yeah, it was only that we
looked at each other and went hang on, I know you and my.
It was just the, the surreal moment.
She's been coming to my walk since December and we only
realised about 3 weeks ago that we've known each other for six
years, didn't put two and two together.
(43:38):
Oh. Alright, so for people who want
details about the Walk it Off groups, that's Thursday nights
at Trojans. Yes, so that's for the women.
The men meet at 5:30 at Trojans Restaurant and Bar in Terrigal
at the Haven. Yeah, so. 45 minute walk, Oh.
Yeah, 45 to an hour. It's about roughly 4 KS, so it's
not a massive walk. But the women we now meet on a
(43:59):
Thursday at 5530. We take off on our walk.
We're back by 6:30. So that is Walk it off Terrigal
ladies on Facebook for my Saturday group, it's walk it off
Long Jetty ladies. We meet at Cafe 2261 on the main
road. It's opposite the Ampole.
Yeah, we meet at. Is that the?
There's no cost involved, is there?
No, no cost involved. See, that's what's great people
(44:19):
could be thinking and what does it cost and it's obviously
you're running it as a business or something.
No, we are not-for-profit, so itis a free community initiative.
I love that these things exist now and more people are talking
about them and getting out and doing these things as well.
Thanks for jumping in. No worry.
But you didn't know it was goingto go in all those places.
I never know where things are going to go, but I'm open to it
(44:40):
all. Yeah.
That's it. And I feel like being open to
possibilities and open to just letting the conversation go
where it goes. Yeah, and it's helped me as
well-being able to express how I'm feeling and what I've gone
through. Someone can also always relate
to it 100% and that and that helps people feel safe and feel
comfortable. And that they're not alone.
(45:00):
Yeah, and that's it. And change starts with a
conversation. All right.
Thanks for jumping in. Thank you.
Rabbit podcast with Rabbit Hey, I'm Rabbit.
I record this podcast inside a cute little retro caravan from
1967 that I tore around all overthe place.
Fan podcast with rabbit. I reached out to Jen a couple of
months ago, maybe because my wife came home one day and said,
you know that walk it off group?I wear the Walk it Off T-shirt
(00:26):
all the time. It was a men's mental health
group that I saw. They were doing it in the Blue
Mountains and started doing it on the Central Coast and I saw
it popping up on Facebook. I reached out to Phil who ran it
and said, Dad, I'd love to come along and do an episode.
Well, walk and talk. It was a great episode.
It was a very windy night aroundTerrigal and there was a lot of
it I couldn't actually use. But then my wife comes home a
(00:47):
couple of months ago or whateverit was and says, hey, you know
the walk it off thing, They've got a women's one now.
And I told the lady that was running it that she should get
in touch with you. And then last night you popped
up. I did yes.
My life has been crazy trying torun 2 walk it off ladies group.
Really. I've got one in Terrigal that we
go on Thursday afternoons and then Saturday mornings at Long
(01:09):
Jetty. So when you send that through, I
love when someone can just seizethe moment.
Yeah, like I said, well, I'm recording down Gosford
Waterfront at 10:00 and 11:00 toit was on the radio first thing
this morning, then recording at 10:00 and 11:00.
Wanna jump in at 12 and you went, sure, why not?
And here we are. That's.
It let's breakdown what Walk it off is, for starters.
(01:30):
It's scheduling time for yourself really, isn't it?
Yeah, like I'm guilty of it. I do a lot for other people, but
that's just who I am. That's my character.
I feel like I need to also step back and take time for myself.
This morning I just got off and I went, oh, just gonna go for a
walk. Grabbed a coffee from Cafe 2261.
That long duty. I went down to Toon Bay and I
(01:51):
just messaged my friend. I'm like, hey, are you home?
And they're like, yeah, pop in. And you wouldn't normally do
that. No, I haven't in a while.
I've had a lot. I've been away in the last two
months. I've been to Ipswich, Canberra
and Byron Bay, just festivals and weddings and right, all
sorts of fun things that I do that them things for myself.
That's where I've taken the timeout and gone.
You know what? This is what I wanna do.
I'm gonna go and do it by my self.
(02:12):
Literally did it on my own, camped with some random people
that I'd never met before. You went by yourself?
I did. I went to CMC.
Well, CMC rocks. The country music was music on
amazing and didn't know anybody that was going because I had
people that I was supposed to gowith and they had to pull out.
And so found a random girl on Facebook in the the fan page and
I'm like, she's like, I've got acamp spot night.
Yeah, sweet, cool. I'll come with you.
(02:33):
And we're now great friends. And was she going by herself?
She. Was going by herself.
So you teamed it up with her before you went?
Yeah, yeah. We teamed it up, go together
literally on a couple of days. She was coming from the Blue
Mountains, I was coming from thecoast and we met there and
clicked straight away, became really great friends and we're
now planning on going next year.Oh, that is so cool.
Yeah. So what's your mental health of
(02:55):
choice? I figure someone who's running
walk it off. It comes from something.
I've struggled with my mental health just.
Sorry, I should have said are you OK to talk about?
It I am OK to talk about it. Yes.
No, no, no. I'm I'm very much open to
talking about it just because I feel it actually helps me.
So does stem from high school. I was bullied relentlessly just
(03:18):
because I was not your typical girl.
I was into sports. I didn't wear girly clothes.
I never wore makeup or worried about any of that sort of stuff.
I was very much a tomboy, playing all the sports and there
were certain people that didn't agree with that and they thought
we're going to target you, make you feel like you don't belong
here and you don't matter. And that's just, well, that's
(03:40):
how in me feel. To the point where I changed
schools four times in high school.
Yeah, it wasn't good. Started at one school, but it
then continued at the next school where I changed to, and
then I changed schools again, Continued.
I went to Goulburn to get away from it and still had issues
down there. It slowly got better.
Finished year 12, had my year 8.Your advisor come up to me at
(04:03):
year 12 saying oh, never thoughtyou'd make it to here and I Oh
yeah, cool, thanks. I'm.
Not sure how to take that. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, because his son was in my year.
That was when I went terrible high.
But yeah, graduated high school.Yeah, just over the years I've
had relationship issues because I'm 37 now and I'm still single
and so but. That's so funny, the way you
(04:24):
just said that just then. Yeah, almost like it's a, I
don't know, you know how that whole thing of like when you
think of everyone, everyone's judging you and thinking things
about you, and they're not like you actually run out.
They're thinking about themselves generally.
The way you just said that then was almost like.
Embarrassed. Not so much embarrassed, but.
It was like it was a thing that you were flagging up.
Yeah, because I feel like I thought my life would be
(04:46):
different. And that's right.
That's why it's my own perception of it that I thought
that I would be in a different place like I've been.
To you're surprised you're 37 and single.
Yes and no children, right Yeah,because I also to.
Me, I don't. Yeah.
You tell me that I'm just like, OK, yeah.
No, it's it's my own perception of it.
I know I shouldn't compare but Ido compare myself to others, one
(05:08):
being my sister. She is happily married to the
best guy I've ever met. Like, couple goals.
Yeah, they have my nephew. He is my favorite human.
Yes, in the entire world. I would literally drop
everything just for him. How old is he?
He's 3 1/2. Perfect.
Yeah. So he is a bowl of fun and,
yeah, full of energy. Right.
So I do compare myself to, because she's younger than me, I
(05:30):
thought that I would be already be there.
But I have been engaged, I've been in long term relationships
and it's just sort of never eventuated.
Previously it was my health thatwas all the issues with the
fertility. Oh, OK, 2 1/2 years ago I made a
decision to have gastric sleeve surgery.
So I've lost 44 kilos, which is,which is like a total.
Like it's a, it's a person. I've recently dropped 3 so it.
(05:53):
Should be 2 1/2 years I. Was pretty proud of it.
It's taken Me 2 1/2 years. Incredible.
I've got a few lessons of this show that I know have had the
Yeah. And in doing so, the banding.
Or the surgery. The surgery where they remove
80% of your stomach. Yeah, amazing.
Yeah. So it's.
Lifelong. When you say lifelong, it's
lifelong habits as well, and that's 'cause some people can go
(06:15):
back out. Again.
Oh yeah, 'cause you can. Stretch your stomach.
Yeah, and I've seen it happen. Yeah, it is a mental game, 100%.
You need to be mentally preparedfor it because it's a complete
lifestyle change. So for those who don't know
anything about it, the tiniest amount of food makes you feel
full when. Start, yes.
(06:35):
So at the start you're having very small portions.
And you couldn't eat more you. Physically can't.
Well, you could, but you'll justbring it back up.
There's no space. There's no space exactly, so
they do say one of the big things with having gastric
sleeve is you have to wait between eating and drinking,
which you should do anyway, the digestion.
So you've got to wait half an anhour.
(06:55):
So if you have something to eat,you've got to wait half an hour
till you can have a drink doing that as well, like having that.
Discipline. Yeah, that's the word discipline
to be able to do that. But there are times it's.
Retraining you 100. Percent it is because I've eaten
before and thought yeah I'll be fine, I'll just have a sip of
drink. No, it comes straight back.
No room. For this down.
(07:16):
Here it's not that you feel sick, it's you feel like it's
just going to come back up. It's been 2 1/2 years since I've
had my surgery so I now have thecapacity to eat more.
But I know when I'm full when I stop.
Like if I go out for a meal I get a kids meal which a lot of
places are really good with allowing me to eat the kids
portions because I physically can't.
(07:37):
That's. Funny 'cause they'd be thinking
you just want the cheap meal. Exactly.
And I said, well, I physically can't eat the big meal.
Yeah. And so are you open about the
oh, how did? That trick, yeah, yeah, I
actually started a Instagram page to sort of catalog my
journey, yeah. And be very open about it, which
it's helped friends of mine because they've reached out to
me and said, hey, can I get someinformation?
(07:58):
Yes, you're very open. I say yeah, I well, I've got
nothing to hide. So.
Some people don't feel comfortable talking about it,
but yeah, I am a very outgoing person and so it just fits my
personality to. 'Cause it can help other people
when you, when you see that, that's why I talk about my, my
mental health. Yeah, stuff on here is because
it can help. Yeah, other people.
And when you have the surgery, right.
(08:18):
So it's not liposuction or something like that.
You don't come out any smaller, do you?
I I guess your stomach size but that's internal.
Bigger at the start because theypump you in, pump you full of
gas to because it's keyhole surgery so they push.
Keyhole. Surgery.
I've got 3 scars on my stomach and that's it.
Oh my God. Yeah, yeah.
So there are certain surgeons that do a 5 hole surgery, but
(08:43):
mine was only three. So my my surgery was out at
Gosford Private Hospital by Doctor Wald.
And there's actually a Facebook page called the Wonglets.
The wrong let's the ones who've had it done.
Everyone that's had their surgery by doctor.
Well, like I've heard that before.
So I wonder if this one listenerthat I'm thinking of was through
that one as well. Yeah, so he's at Gosford private
and. Yeah, maybe then, but randomly
(09:04):
reach out to me and tell me fromhere.
But coincidentally, he actually took my gallbladder out a year
prior. Alright.
Oh, he's used to going into you and taking things.
So that's what I've got more scars, but it's from having my
grass removed as well. It's.
He could sign them all, Yeah, aswell.
What Wong was here when? So you come out of that.
(09:26):
The weight loss happens because of the inability to eat what you
were eating before. Correct.
And because what I was told was that when they cut out the
portion of your stomach, there'slike hormone receptors in that
part of your stomach that actually get taken out with it.
But it is also a lot of mental retraining that you need to
because you need to eat what youneed to survive.
(09:49):
When you first come out of surgery, you're on a liquid diet
for a couple of weeks and then you transition to mushy food or
baby food, you would call it. I didn't go that far.
I'd just say Mashed potato. Oh.
Yes. And Jelly and stuff like that.
You had need to prioritize protein.
So it's just adding protein. Like there's a company that does
a bariatric formulated protein called cost Price Supplements
(10:12):
and they have been fantastic. They're tasteless so you can add
it to anything. Oh, interesting.
Oh, wow. So you can get the protein?
Yeah. Protein, it's like.
Spreading protein powder over your into your mashed potatoes.
Yeah, pretty. Much, Yeah, you can add it to
food, you add to drinks and stuff and so.
But OK, for me, having the surgery actually healed my body
of having polycystic ovaries, OK.
(10:32):
Which for females is a massive thing that's affect your
fertility, but it also affects your weight and hair loss and
all that sort of stuff. Since having the surgery,
apparently my hormones have goneback to a 30 year old because
I've cured myself from having polycystic ovaries.
And is that due to the weight that you were carrying before?
(10:52):
It's also hereditary. Yeah, OK.
Yeah, I've got family members that have had polycystic ovaries
and so there was always a chancethat I was going to have this
condition and but losing the weight 100% is the reason that
my body's cured itself. So you brought up the 45K weight
loss, so are you OK with talkingabout numbers and where you
(11:13):
were? Yeah, I, well, I'm 5 foot 2, so
I started at 116 1/2 kilos. At 5 foot 2.
At 5 foot 2 so I was just short and.
Round. Basically, it's round.
Just round and so I went from a size 18 and I would, my clothes
were tight fitting and I'm now down to a size 10.
(11:34):
Jeez. Which is incredible to me.
It's I have to buy a whole wardrobe, which is a good
problem to have. Golden bag.
It's, it's expensive, expensive at the same time, but let's talk
about that because you can get very superficial about that and
just go you round and now you'rea size 10, whatever that's,
that's, that's that side of it. And there is this is a emotional
(11:56):
and psychological effect of 1. 100% there is and everyone deals
with it differently. I was one of the very lucky ones
that had been wanting to have the surgery for about 3 years
prior to actually being able to afford to get it because it's
not a cheap. Will you say how much?
I will. It's about 18 1/2 thousand
dollars. God, yeah.
So that's why if you're gonna doit, you commit to it and you
(12:19):
stick to it and you don't do thewrong thing by your diet because
it's a lot of money to spend to then.
Go backward because you can write you and and some people
have had it done multiple times.Yeah, yeah.
They've had revisions done because they've gone off the
course of their diet. That something's happened in
(12:39):
their life. Where because it is, it's 100%
it's mental like you, your mental health is massive with
it. I've got a friend who said that
because she's she's had the surgery she reached out to me
prior to having it and do. You get a referral thing now,
no? If only so she's had the
surgery. She looks absolutely fantastic.
(12:59):
She's lost about 50 kilos, but her brain hasn't caught up.
So she's actually in therapy to target that, basically to help
her brain, but it's body dysmorphia.
Like she'll look at clothes and go, oh, that can't possibly fit
me. It's my daughter's because she
said to me the other week her daughter went Mum, these aren't
(13:20):
mine, these are yours. Oh, I'm not that small.
It's like, well, yes, you are. She's her brains not caught up.
Wow. How her body actually looked.
But like I said, it's not like you go in one day and then you
come out the other day, the nextday like that, it happens over.
Time over a period of time I lost my I.
The bulk of my weight I lost within the first eight months.
(13:41):
Yeah, so and like, I was very fortunate I didn't have any
complications. I've got friends that have had
complications even back in hospital.
They have gotten really sick. They've not been able to eat
specific foods that they used tobe able to eat, whereas I've
been really lucky I can't eat anything.
I had a tiny blood clot in my wrist, but it was just because
of how the cannula was inserted and removed.
(14:03):
I did the Clexine injections forblood clotting and I was fine.
Is your stomach? And when I say stomach, I'm in
the actual stomach. Is it now at normal person's
size? No.
No, no, no, it will. So basically your stomach is
like a sleeve in a big pouch. Yeah, the pouch is gone.
(14:23):
So that's my stomach. Like 80% of it's been removed.
It's like a tube, basically. Now instead of being like this
big sack, it's now just a tube and so that's why you can't fit
as much food in. Then what do you reckon the size
of your stomach is in comparisonto mine?
Oh. It'd be tiny.
Really. Yeah.
It'd be absolutely tiny. So you won't get back to the
(14:45):
point where your stomach size would match my stomach size?
No, because that would lead to. Yeah.
Well, if I continually override then it would probably stretch
back yes to, probably because that.
Does happen? I know that that does.
It can happen, probably not the full size but close to it.
But if you keep to the diet, eating the right foods.
(15:05):
Like I still have pizza and doughnuts and hot chips and
stuff. Like 1 slice, yeah.
Right. Yeah, literally.
I used to be able to eat a wholepizza.
I can eat 2 slices, maybe 3. So is this 2 for life now?
So what's really interesting is when you talk about the mental
side of it. And my wife and I, yeah, we talk
about this all the time, about the fact that it's a cycle.
(15:26):
It just goes round and round andround. 100%.
You put on weight, you feel crapabout yourself.
And so then you eat some junk food.
Yeah. In the evening.
It's the worst for it. Yeah, and then the next day you
beat yourself up about it because you're such an idiot,
because you know better than this.
And I should be going to the gymthis morning and I can't get
myself into that, That steak andeverything.
No. No sooner the couch and I'm
gonna eat some chips and chocolate.
Yeah. Where I still have those days,
(15:48):
Yeah, I still do have those days.
Where something happened at workor like someone like something's
been said or just in my personallife that another guy that I've
been talking to has lied to me or not made the effort that I
feel I deserve. I'm not going to take less than
what I think I deserve and that.Maybe that's why you're single.
(16:09):
But they, these guys ask me, they say, oh, so why are you
single? I said, because I can't find an
honest gentleman. And instead of saying, oh, but
I'm gonna just go, Oh yeah, that'll happen.
They just agreed. It's like, you know what you
need to lower your standards, No?
Can I tell you so? Apparently really hard to find.
It's really interesting. So I've been hearing seeing all
(16:30):
these stats lately and I love the Diary of Aceo podcast.
It gets brought up quite often in there that there's this
strange thing happening where there's this group that are
really struggling at the moment that isn't massively being
spoken about. But the data is there.
All the actual numbers are there.
And it's young men. It's going to be a problem
(16:53):
because of the push for equalityand, and with wages and all
those kind of things. And yeah, there's always more
that can be done, but there havebeen improvements.
What's happening happening? There's so many interesting
things happening. Women are not settling for less.
They are getting the positions that men would have gotten in
(17:14):
the past. Yeah.
There's certain roles in the workplace where suddenly like
management are saying that it's actually better having women in
those roles. Yep, because of the way their
brain works. For reference, I'm a Carpenter
so that also has been in an issue as well because there's
men that find that intimidating.Yeah.
And what's going to happen now is a guy is going to miss out on
(17:36):
a job because of you. And young men have never been in
that situation before. And what's happening is because
now, especially with like, I don't want to get into porn on
the Internet, but here we are with the Internet and that these
days they are going out less guys are going out to meet
(17:58):
women. The guys are feeling intimidated
and they're just not putting in the effort.
Yeah, and I've found that 100% like I now I say I want to meet
someone and I want to be in a rush ship.
I don't go out because I don't drink as much as I did
previously and that's just a personal choice.
It's not that I had an issue with alcohol, it's just that I
(18:21):
don't like being hungover. I like to be able to get up in
the morning feeling fresh. And also with having the gastric
sleeve, it takes a lot for me toget drunk because my metabolism
is so quick because my stomach'sso small.
Oh, it just. Processes a lot quicker.
Oh, wow. And so going out, like, I can go
(18:42):
out for a drink or two and I waslike, oh, yeah, that's me done.
And I'd rather go out for a meal, get up in the morning and
go for a coffee, go for a walk like that.
Yeah, is what I prefer. But there's a lot of people that
will go, oh, let's go get a drink.
Yeah. It's just like, well, but what
to do? Yeah, but now it's really
interesting seeing these stats and watching this and why
(19:02):
they're bringing it up about like the young guys is that
it'll be a problem. Like it'll be a young men and
their testosterone and pent up, whatever it is.
You know, there's just the birthrate is dropping and there's so
many, yeah, more women that are just not settling, not selling,
(19:23):
that you see, they can do better.
And yeah, there's this whole group of young guys.
Their employment rate is dropping.
Well, that's like, yeah, with being a Carpenter, like I have
seen that, and this is from the TAFE stats as well, that there
are less people actually finishing their apprenticeship.
I just think that all came off the the statement of maybe
(19:45):
that's why I'm single. Me throwing it.
That's probably why his eagle isthey're not.
Yeah, not settling. There's been a there's
definitely been more of a shift there.
Or even on the flip side of that, I've got a lot of friends
that are single mothers. Yeah.
Because they've they've been in a relationship, they've been
with the partner and then the man's not stepped up or
something's happened in the relationship and then so they've
(20:07):
ended up on their own. And they're like, but I don't
want to be with someone that's not going to step up.
Not so much provide, but be a partner.
Yeah. For me, I grew up with my mum
has been on her own raising 4 girls since I was three years
old. Wow.
Yeah, OK. I've been brought up by an
independent woman who didn't need a man to do anything and
(20:31):
has proven that to me that I cando it on my own.
And that's also an issue, that Iam very independent.
I've lived by myself there so long.
When you said I don't need a manto that.
But I want one. That's the issue.
Yeah. I don't need one, but I would.
I would really like to be in a relationship.
I'd like to have someone to comehome to to to share my life with
(20:51):
and but haven't found one that'shonest.
There's just show up, there's a shift that's happening.
There really is. The more single mums bringing up
kids by themselves. That's that's generational.
So the the kids from then you grow up going I don't need a
man. And I'm at the point where I'm
(21:12):
actually thinking about having achild on my own.
Yeah. Because I want children talking
about. I want children, yeah.
And I'm kind of sick of waiting,basically.
And and then what happens from the and and it's built into a
guys DNA to protect and provide and be the man of the house and.
(21:35):
When a woman can do it on her own, they get intimidated.
Or just don't know. What to do What?
To do, where do I? Where do I stand?
Where? Do.
I stand. Yeah.
And I've actually had relationships in the past where
part of the reason why it didn'twork out was because of that.
But I feel like I shouldn't haveto change everything about me.
Yes, I'm independent. Yes, I can do things for myself,
(21:57):
but having someone there to helpme with it would be fantastic.
But I found that there are some men that do find it
intimidating. They're like, well, no, well,
what do you need me for? And that's their attitude.
And it's just like, well. I don't need you, I want you.
Yeah, exactly. And they don't, they can't
differentiate. Yeah, the difference between
that they think, oh, you don't need me, I'm gonna go or you
(22:19):
don't need me. I'm gonna go find a girl because
I'm actually, I went on a date. This was really funny with a guy
with a man button. And he told me that he was
looking for someone girlier. Literally what he told when I
was like, mate, you've got a manbutton.
I think you're girl enough for the televised and.
You've got this covered. You've got a.
(22:40):
Covered and it's just the I justwent I told some of my
girlfriends about it and they'relike are you for real and I was
like yeah that's literally what he told me we met for coffee and
breakfast and then after the date I said oh so she'll we'll
go on a second date and he's like oh I'm just looking for
someone a bit girly I. Believe, he said that.
Righto, like I turned up in my activewear cause we've got to go
(23:01):
for a walk and everything like that and see I was like Yep,
cool, OK. I think you nailed it with and
that's going to be really interesting to watch over over
time. Is that word need that you don't
need a man and and? That's and the, the problem is
with that, it's that girls are being brought up now to not need
a man because of these specificsof divorced.
(23:25):
There's like women being on their own and going, you know
what, I'm going to do it myself because if I don't do it myself,
it's not going to get done. And growing up my mum, like I've
got three sisters. None of us are the same.
We're completely different people.
I am the builder in the family. I've got two sisters that are
teachers and one sister that hasadmin at the hospital.
(23:45):
So we're all completely different, but that diversity
between us makes us individual. Yeah.
And so, but my mum has brought us up to be individuals.
Like growing up, when we demolished our cubby house, it
was just me and my mum had to have as hell.
We were just bashing away and. Yeah, Carpenter for a long time.
Have you been to Guandalan Bowling Club?
(24:06):
They're right there on the shores of Lake Macquarie.
They do delicious meals upstairsin the Four Shore Bistro and
Cafe, which is run by the Dish Catering Group.
So, you know, it's good stuff and you can dine out on the
balcony looking out over the lake.
It is beautiful. They got the cute little
foreshore kiosk for a coffee andsnacks right by the jetty.
(24:26):
The entertainments? Top notch.
They got Friday night seafood raffles and Sunday sessions with
live music in the beer garden. You wanna find out what's
happening at the club? Check out their Facebook page or
visit gwendalenbowlingclub.com dot AU King Gumper Mitre Chan
have been big supporters of the pod Dan podcast right from the
start, and you get all the stufffrom them that you'd expect to
(24:47):
you get plans, you'd get all theWeber stuff.
You get all the steel gear, the amazing principal kitchens, but
it's the stuff that you don't expect like we.
Had an elderly lady come into the store and she brought her
remote control from her television and she didn't know
how to get it to work. And we opened it up and saw that
she just needed new battery. And then she told me that her
(25:08):
husband had recently passed awayso he was the one that did all
that stuff for her and she didn't have anybody around to do
that so she needed us. So we took batteries out of the
packet and put them in the remote and we helped her out and
made her day. That's what she got.
And the mighty helpful King Campbell Minor Gen. podcast with
Rabbit. My mom was also brought up to be
(25:35):
self-sufficient, worked 3-4 jobsto be able to provide for us
because we did sport growing up as well.
So we've been in the sporting community since I was four years
old. So being able to facilitate us
doing top level sports. Like we went to state branch,
like for the knickers we did in a branch and state for
athletics. We went to state titles and all
that sort of stuff. Like we've been to New Zealand,
(25:57):
Yeah, for athletics. A lot, yeah.
And so Mum being able to do thatfor us, obviously she's my hero
because I wouldn't be where I amtoday without her.
Yes, we have our conflicts because we are like very alike
me and my mother. So we so it's.
Funny then that we're so this all comes from right back at the
start where and all of this is nothing that we were gonna talk
(26:18):
about. But start off at a.
Tangent I but I love it. I, I think it's funny how it,
this all started from you going,I'm 37 and single and saying it
like that. And now I hear all of that and
go, yeah, I mean, I mean, yes, your mum brought up 4 girls.
She did everything by herself. She worked all of these jobs and
(26:40):
stuff. And you're so much like your
mum. I mean, and here you are and
you've just said you don't need a man, you'd like a man.
Yeah, you want a man, whatever. But you don't need one.
No. And I feel, and that's I say,
like I do feel that men find that intimidating, that I'm at
the point where I'm just like, you know what?
I don't, I don't actually need you in my life.
(27:00):
But I would like someone. Yeah.
And but also that what is what plays on my mental health as
well-being on my own and thinking, oh, should I change
who I am to be able to be with someone?
Oh, you start looking at us. Yeah, that's it.
And I start saying, oh, is it me?
Is it because I am so independently because I can
(27:21):
build something without? I own all the power tools so I
can literally build anything I want at any.
Time. It's funny because I wouldn't
think of the word intimidating like I would I would.
Have been told that. Yeah, but I now get it.
Like when you say that, like in our house, that's my thing.
Like I have all the power tools.I love being on the tools.
(27:42):
I built this the whole pod. I'm about to renovate a caravan
myself. Yeah, I was about to say, see,
this is the thing I was just about to say.
I've got plenty of tips for you if you do.
And then I thought you don't need them.
You don't need them. Yeah.
And the change there is when I say that's my thing, like I I'm
fully into the tools and I'll being on the tools and I love
(28:03):
when Sav does when my wife gets on the tools and does anything,
I'm like, that's great. But as she suddenly became just
full all about the tools, you know, fully on the tools now.
So when I say that's my thing, what's my thing now?
Exactly, Yeah. I thought that was meant to be
my thing. And that's the the mentality
behind it is that there are a lot of men that go well, that's
(28:24):
the man's job. Yes.
That's that's that old. School years and years and years
and it's generational. Old school mentality where being
in the construction industry, I have had to deal with that as
well. And so that plays on my mental
health is like there's men in myline of work that I actually
have more experience than that think, Oh no, I'm going to do it
because I'm the man. And this is like, well, but I
(28:47):
know what I'm. But you know why?
Because his dad did. And Pop did.
Correct. And it's ingrained in them for
that the man does the man's job.And the reason that I'm not
engaged to this guy before is because I worked 50 hours a
week. I used to work in hospitality.
So I ran an entire Tavern, did 50 plus hours a week, but was
still expected to come home, do the washing, do the cooking, do
(29:10):
all of that because I was the wife of the house.
Like I was the wife. I was the the woman of the
house. And it's like, well, no, I said
I didn't wear your clothes. I didn't, like, eat off your
dishes. I think, yeah, we do it as a
team. And it's that perception of
women belong in the kitchen. And the man provides.
And the man provides because that's how his parents are.
(29:31):
And his parents and and their parents and their parents and
their parents. So like, I mean, looking at this
so much lately because of so many things happening in the
world and things are happening faster now.
And I think if you can just always just step back on some
things and go, well, This is whylike, yeah, it may be wrong for
the bloke to just be going put on the man of the house and I do
(29:53):
this and this. And then the world is changing.
And it may not necessarily be like that, but if you can look
at that and go, but This is why that's in your brain.
Doesn't make it right or right or it just it just.
Helps. Yeah, I knew the reason why he
was like that was because of howI saw his parents.
Yeah. So that's that was their
relationship. They were very in that old
(30:14):
school mindset of yet the man provides the woman statement.
I also don't think that that's wrong.
I, I, yeah. Different, different
relationships, different people.Oh yeah, yeah.
Want different things? And that's exactly right.
And they're. Happy to just keep going through
that path. Correct.
Yeah, there are some women that would love to just stay home.
Generally it's because they're looking after children and
(30:35):
they're happy to do that. And the man goes out and he
works and provides. Yeah, that sort of stuff.
But that's the. Standard old relationship.
Correct. Whereas being brought up in a
single parent household, I have a different perception of how.
The world is, and again, that's happening more and more and more
now, correct. Yeah.
(30:55):
And this is what's leading to these women coming up that are
getting into great positions at work in their 20s and having
great careers and seeing the path of I can do this.
Like I don't, I don't I don't need you.
Do you get to that point, though, where you because I know
of like women that will will say, yeah, I'm single and that's
(31:16):
just me. I'm just going to be.
And that's and I'm fine with that.
And guys as well, more guys, these are doing that.
Do you see yourself getting to that point because you've said
you, you. Oh.
No, I'm actively trying to to find someone but.
I wonder if you get to a point where you'll just go.
Well, I've, you know, I've had the conversation with my mum
about this, about like the children's side of things, that
(31:37):
if either I don't have one on myown or if I don't meet someone
when I turn 40, that's it, I'll just be the fun auntie.
Being over the age of 40 would be detrimental to my health.
But also a child, trying to havea child over the age of 40 is
dangerous. There are studies and all that
sort of stuff. But if I get to that age and
(31:59):
I've not had a child, I will be content being an auntie.
Far out man, any dude that meetsyou.
That plays on my mental health as well.
That's a massive thing because like I said, my nephew's 3 1/2,
right? This is 2 years younger than me.
And so there's that way of thinking is, yeah, she's done
that already. I should be.
(32:20):
I should be. There.
I should have already been there.
Yeah. So that plays on my my mind all
the time as well. It's like, well, I thought my
life would be completely different at this point than
what it is. It's.
Gonna say before any dude that meets you in the next two years
better be ready, yeah? But also with that, I am very
upfront about it. I'm not here to waste my time.
(32:40):
And that's what I sort of say. I say, look, do you have
children? Do you want children?
Because I want children within the next two years.
If you're not on board with that, please don't waste my time
because it's happened. It's a weird.
Way to start the date but hi what's?
Your name should happen prior tomeeting them, so.
Prior to meeting things. Prior to me.
(33:01):
God, really. Yeah.
Yeah, I. Like I was joking about the like
on the first date bringing it up, you go before.
Yeah, like I said, I'm at the point where I, I'm, I've got no
time to waste at this point. And so if someone's not in that
mindset of either I want more children or I want to have
children, yeah, than me pursuingsomething with them and then
(33:25):
later on down the track finding out, oh, but I don't want kids.
But I'm just wasting my time. Boy, it puts a lot of pressure
on the relationship early days, doesn't it?
Because and. I know that that probably
reduces my chances. Yeah.
But that's that's how I see my life.
You. Could find the right one who's
who's in the exact same boat as you.
Correct. Someone's got that same
forethought of this is what I want to do, this is how I see my
(33:45):
life going because like I said, I don't have a lot of time.
If I want to have children before I turn 40, yeah, it sort
of thins out the herd, basically.
Yeah, yeah. But you're being true to you and
what you're looking for. Yeah, and that's it.
And that's what I need. Honesty is the best policy.
That's what I ask of people thatI'm talking to.
I need honesty and communicationbecause those are two things
(34:09):
that are very important to me. If there's no honesty and
there's no communication, there's no relationship.
Wow, your tattoos have just been.
I've been wanting to look at them the whole time.
Do you got a lot of tattoos? I.
Have a lot of tattoos. There's some like there's ones
in my leg. Really.
Yeah. What?
What? I wanna do a whole episode at
one point of just like. Your tattoos me.
So, well, I reckon I could do a whole spin off podcast about
(34:34):
tattoos. 100% there's they probably already exist.
But you know, my whole podcast is about people's stories.
I love getting people's stories.Well, every tattoo is a story.
Yeah, most of them are stories. Probably 90% of them have
meaning. Is that like an Illuminati one
on your finger? It is the Deathly Hallows from
Harry Potter. I wonder how many people think
(34:58):
it's like an Illuminati thing. I mean, I don't know what is the
Illuminati thing? Isn't it like a triangle with a
circle in it? Or is it a circle with the I
don't know or no? I think it's more like an I.
I don't know. Illuminati is an I.
Yeah, the Deathly Hallow. That's.
Funny from Harry Potter, Yes it is.
That's goals. I yeah, 'cause well, after I
went to CMC, a friend of mine, she is now my tattooist, and I
(35:22):
actually have a Highland cow head tattooed on the back of my
car as a commemorative piece. Because when I do certain things
I like for the first time, CMC this year was my first one.
So I'm going to get something totell.
Right, That's right. Is that one on your finger new?
Yeah. Yeah, it's only it was like the
week after CMC, so it's only like a month or so old.
(35:42):
When I take the bod van to places, I like to get a trinket
from a gift shop and put it up on the wall.
You tattoo something on your body?
Amazing. Yeah, because like I've got like
some of them like the the Roman new rules is the date that I had
my surgery. OK, that's.
Yeah, 10/11/2022. Yeah, I'm telling you, we could
do a whole podcast. I could just see this now.
(36:03):
I'm completely covered. Yeah, I'm glad I've brought it
up now so I can actually have a real good look.
The whole time you in talking, Ijust be like, I wanna, I wanna
know what's written down the bicep on on that side.
He says take. Me as I am or watch me as I go.
I got that after I left my fiance, OK, because he was the
type of guy the with that old school mentality and I just, he
was trying to change me and it literally took one of my best
(36:26):
mates. He came to visit me and he's
like, who are you and what have you done with Jen?
He said my personality had completely changed being with
this person. It's opened my eyes to the fact
that I wasn't happy. I wasn't being true to myself.
I wasn't myself anymore. I was I was in my 20s.
I was young but in the love bubble thinking, Oh yeah, this
is what what it all is. We've been best mates for 21
(36:47):
years. And so for him to say that to
me, it was like, OK, something'sgoing on if I did.
You think anything was wrong at that point before he said that
with you? Not to the extension, no.
No, not to that extent, No, no. I knew that I wasn't 100% happy,
but I didn't think it had changed me that much for him to
go. Who are you and what have you
done with the Gen. that I know for him to say that to me until
(37:10):
I went Oh OK. Wow.
It's that made me sit back and think of oh OK, maybe this has
affected me more than I realised.
If we rewind to the start of theepisode, it was the fact that
you're here and you're walking off T-shirt.
I know that's a mental health thing and you go on these walks
and then I just asked what's your mental health issue of
(37:30):
choice? There's a few.
And here we are. There's a.
Smorgasport of mental health issues.
Tell us about Walk It Off and what it is.
So walk it off. The original group Phil started
down in the Blue Mountains because that's where he's from
at now he moved to Terrigal. I will too, Wamberal.
But Terrigal has that, the boardwalk, the Haven, all that
sort of stuff. And that's how we do our walk.
(37:51):
So the men meet every Wednesday at Terrigal Haven and the women
now meet on a Thursday. We meet at 5:00 at Trojans at
the restaurant there and for me,Walk It Off has just been an
outlet to talk about what's going on in my life and it's
more a social group now with thewomen in the group.
(38:13):
Probably a third of my women areover the age of 60, so they've
either retired, relocated, divorced, widowed or just
haven't been out in the world for a long time.
And they're finding that they want that social connection,
they wanna make friends, and this has facilitated the need of
women coming together just to have a chat.
(38:35):
I found with the men's one, they're not necessarily talking
about what's going on as far as mental health wise, no, no, no.
Or the thing that they're struggling with or telling the
story about when they lost theirjob or anything.
It's literally just connection. It is.
It's connect, it's social connection and it's just about
having someone to talk to because there are so many men
and women that feel like they don't have anyone to talk to.
(38:58):
They don't have those friendshipconnections that they used to
have because either they're friends of passed away or moved
on. And so being that like Terrigal
is becoming more of a retirementcommunity, the aging population
of the coast, a lot of them do move there because they've come
from Sydney and they've moved tothe coast and set up themselves
(39:19):
in Terrigal and they don't know anybody.
And so they're like, how do I meet people?
Because I had a few ladies even yesterday with my long jetty
group, 5 new ladies turned up today out of the 16 that were
there, and two of the ladies hadjust moved to the coast in the
last month or so. They're like, I don't know
anybody, how am I going to meet people?
And they saw my group on Facebook, so they saw Walk it
(39:41):
Off Long Jenny ladies on Facebook.
And they went, you know what? I'm gonna go do that.
What do you reckon the percentage would be of ones
turning up that don't have a mental health issue?
Aren't struggling with anxiety really.
Yeah, I reckon more than half are literally just there for the
socializing. That was what I was picking up
on. I think the men's one is 100%.
(40:04):
It's a mental health thing. Yeah, I think.
I'm pretty sure I'd have to check with Phil.
The majority of the men are there for their mental health
but I do like I've had conversations with Phil and he
said there's some guys that justturn up because one of their
mates is there and they've gone to support as well.
That's a big thing. I've got a few ladies in my
group that come up from Sydney to support one of their friends
(40:26):
who her husband had a accident and he has a brain injury.
He is housebound and so she's been housebound for the last
four years. She's now at a point where she's
able to get out of the house andher friends have been here to
help support her to get her backinto the world basically, which
is fantastic. But even to say that, did you
(40:48):
say 50%, like about half, yeah, would be not there with any
mental health, Yeah, issues or something that they're, you
know, struggling why they're doing.
Yeah, but then when you think about it, doing the walk,
turning up to this thing is goodfor your mental health 0100,
even if you don't have a problem.
Yeah, yeah, when I say a. Problem, You know that you're
dealing with anxiety, you're doing a depression, right?
It's something like that that you're struggling with.
(41:09):
Yeah. Turning up to something like
that and meeting people like it's.
Good. Yeah, because.
Walking, yeah, walking got exercise is always good for it
too. But I have a few ladies who have
been very open about the fact that they have been in DV
relationships, right. And so having a women's group
where they feel safe is something that they are want
(41:30):
able to commit to. They're able to get out of the
house because they know that they're going to be around a
supportive group of women. And then I also have women that
have gone through cancer. And so having the mental health
side of that through recovery orremission or I've got one lady
that has had breast cancer twice.
She's had to have a double mastectomy, but she's also gone
(41:51):
through a DV relationship. And out of random coincidence, I
actually used to own a business called Tradie Lady Handywoman
Services. Great.
No, it flows really nice, pretty.
Long name but. Kinda comes out like hoody goody
goody. Exactly.
Lady handyman services. Yeah.
What was it Trade tradie Lady handyman services handy.
Tradie lady. Tradie lady so handy lady
(42:14):
services. Tradie lady handy woman
services. No, I take it back.
It's not cash. No go.
It's not. Because I couldn't it flows
nicely. Jady lady handy woman women
services services. Yeah, so COVID unfortunately
diminished that business, but which sucked.
But this particular lady was put.
(42:34):
We've got now got name tags because there's a lot of women.
I'm terrible at remembering people's names.
So we've got name tags and on the back of the card I've been
getting less to put an emergencycontact.
She's written down her son's name and I just went, I know
that name, that's not a common name.
And I said I'm the tradie lady. And she's like, no, because I've
lost a lot of weight, changed myhair colour, right?
(42:56):
And every time I've seen her, she's got a hat and sunglasses
on. When I went to her house, she
was no hat, no sunglasses. And so the two of us didn't
realise. We've known each other for six
years. You've been working on things
for her. She's been, yeah, Back when I
had the business, yeah, I went to her house and I did some
security upgrades for her. Right.
Because she, with a lot of DV women, they don't want men in
(43:18):
the house. They don't feel comfortable.
And so me. With my business, it did feel
the need of that I and unfortunately did have to stop
the business. But yeah, it was only that we
looked at each other and went hang on, I know you and my.
It was just the, the surreal moment.
She's been coming to my walk since December and we only
realised about 3 weeks ago that we've known each other for six
years, didn't put two and two together.
(43:38):
Oh. Alright, so for people who want
details about the Walk it Off groups, that's Thursday nights
at Trojans. Yes, so that's for the women.
The men meet at 5:30 at Trojans Restaurant and Bar in Terrigal
at the Haven. Yeah, so. 45 minute walk, Oh.
Yeah, 45 to an hour. It's about roughly 4 KS, so it's
not a massive walk. But the women we now meet on a
(43:59):
Thursday at 5530. We take off on our walk.
We're back by 6:30. So that is Walk it off Terrigal
ladies on Facebook for my Saturday group, it's walk it off
Long Jetty ladies. We meet at Cafe 2261 on the main
road. It's opposite the Ampole.
Yeah, we meet at. Is that the?
There's no cost involved, is there?
No, no cost involved. See, that's what's great people
(44:19):
could be thinking and what does it cost and it's obviously
you're running it as a business or something.
No, we are not-for-profit, so itis a free community initiative.
I love that these things exist now and more people are talking
about them and getting out and doing these things as well.
Thanks for jumping in. No worry.
But you didn't know it was goingto go in all those places.
I never know where things are going to go, but I'm open to it
(44:40):
all. Yeah.
That's it. And I feel like being open to
possibilities and open to just letting the conversation go
where it goes. Yeah, and it's helped me as
well-being able to express how I'm feeling and what I've gone
through. Someone can also always relate
to it 100% and that and that helps people feel safe and feel
comfortable. And that they're not alone.
(45:00):
Yeah, and that's it. And change starts with a
conversation. All right.
Thanks for jumping in. Thank you.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.