June 15, 2025 • 38 mins
WARNING: This episode contains talk around car crashes, fatalities, PTSD, and suicide. It's a great chat - and we have a lot of laughs amongst it, but it's real and it's raw - and if you're not in the right headspace to listen right now, you might want to give this one a skip.
I've always wanted to get a firefighter on the podcast! And then I met Billy Mac. He has lived through a lot! Ex-firefighter, ex-army, and now living with PTSD, CTE and a late ADHD diagnosis that kinda makes sense of the chaos he has carried for years. (I can relate!)
In this episode, he shares the breakdowns that nearly ended him, the wife who saved him, the young blokes on the rugby field who keep him grounded, and why telling his story might just save someone else’s life too.
Feel free to drop a comment below. I love seeing when one pops up!
Huge thanks to our Patreon legends in our member's section, where you can get bonus episodes and content for $10 a month via: https://patreon.com/podvan
Let’s chat!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Rabbit podcast with rabbit Hey, I'm Rabbit.
I record this podcast inside a cute little retro caravan from
1967 that I tore around all overthe place.
Fan podcast with rabbit Hey, didyou know that these are video
episodes now? I mean, if you're watching this,
then yes, you know that. But if you're not watching it,
you could be seeing the guests that I'm chatting to in the
episode. The video episodes are only
(00:25):
available on Spotify. And the other thing is, did you
know there's a Patreon members page?
Haven't mentioned it for a whileand I've recently had a couple
of people sign up saying I didn't even know this was a
thing. So there's like over 200 bits of
bonus content in there. There's weekly bonus episodes
with Julie that are only for Patreon members and it's 10
bucks a month. So if you want to join up, you
(00:46):
just go to podvan.com dot AU slash members.
One last one actually just before we go into there's a bit
of a warning on this episode. Billy Mac in this one, he's a ex
firefighter. He's seen some pretty horrific
stuff, been to a lot of accidents.
He talks about people do did pass away in accidents and
there's talk of suicide in this one as well.
(01:07):
So if you're not in the right headspace for that right now,
then maybe give this one a skip.It does get quite deep and
heavy, there's some emotional stuff in there and we have a lot
of laughs as well. It's quite a roller coaster.
I think you'll love the chat, but I just wanted to give you
that warning. A bit of a heads up before we
get into it. Mate, it's funny you're saying
about the ADHD because when I was in hospital, I was in there
(01:28):
for four months and we'll talk about it later.
I'm happy to talk about it, but the, the chick who was my
psychologist or I'd make you fucking thousand people talking
to him and she's gone. I'm gonna do a ADHD test for you
and yeah, 100% go ahead. You know I don't care and I've
already got enough initials. Give me more.
Yeah, she said. I think you probably do have,
mate. As a kid I was a rat bag.
(01:49):
Yeah. You know so.
It's funny because it's just a new thing for me.
I get either diagnosed. Oh no, we're only in the last
month. I think it has happened.
Yeah. And I had never even considered
it. So I've had anxiety.
I've been on anxiety meds for. So the Lexapro.
Yep. For seven years.
Yep. Actually, today is my first day
(02:12):
off them in seven years. So you're be because you're on
the ADHD. Because I'm on the other ones
yeah, so I could be taking both,but yeah, I stopped on those a
month ago when I got my prescription for the ADHD ones
and I've weaned myself off and yeah I've had the side effects
and stuff they're. Brutal to come.
Oh, the headaches. And yeah, yeah, and headaches
and stuff. You get the chatters, well, the.
(02:34):
No, as far as like tea, tea, chattering and.
I'm on Zoloft and sometimes likeI've got CTE as well which I've
only found out in the last 12 months with a chronic.
Well, that's the concussion, right?
Right. It's from the PTSD, well, PTSD
and rugby. And I was in the mortars in the
Army and my brother that I was in the army with sent me a thing
saying, hey, anyone that was in the mortars or artillery is
(02:57):
susceptible to CTE. I'm going, I've got the
trifecta. I've got it.
It's me. Well, look at you.
Just Yes. Collecting the loss.
You know what I haven't done here is introduced you so OK.
Let's sorry this. Is Billy Mack and I was down at
the waterfront one day I just finished doing an episode my
next guest was running a bit late actually.
I love when they do that. I actually do because I'm.
(03:19):
I'm late to everything. The three most beautiful words
in the world. Julie Goodwin has said these to
me are I'm running late. And I'm like, oh, thank you
because I haven't even left homeyet.
So I was just hanging down thereand the fire truck rolled in.
Fieries got off and I just started chatting to them because
they're looking at the pod van going.
What's that all about? And through talking to them at
(03:41):
one point, because I said to them, I wouldn't be able to get
any of you in here. I know I'm not even going to
ask. Yeah, because you'd be like, oh,
I gotta be keen as I've got so many stories.
But I know it's got to go up through the chain and then
someone is going to go no, yes, because that's just.
In case you bring us into disrepute.
And this is what I said to them.I said if I were able to talk to
(04:03):
that person, the one at the verytop that makes that decision,
Yep, give me 10 minutes with them and they would go, yeah,
OK, fine, 'cause everything I dois positive, supportive,
uplifting. I'm not getting gonna get into
anything. Yep.
And so I was talking to those firefighters down there at the
waterfront and then and they went, oh, but you know, you
should talk to Billy Mack. And I was like, OK, tell me
(04:24):
more. And they went ex firefighter out
with PTSD and does lots of greatthings in the community.
I'm not sure if they said then that you love your rugby, but if
they had then that would have been give me his number.
Is is, is love a word for rugby?Because it's it's, it's, it's
more a religion from and you as well.
Yeah, and that's what was amazing was so I said yeah,
yeah, yeah, give me his number. So I reached out to you.
(04:47):
You said you were on your way toa rugby game up in Newcastle.
Yes, I was going up to because Imanage Eastwood Colts, right?
And yeah, it was heading up to Newcastle.
Where's Eastwood? Sydney, right?
Yeah, near right. That's yeah, I drive down there
every Saturday. Oh OK mate.
It's you're making me emotional already, perhaps sorry, but it
is a dead set, massive part of my recovery to keep me on track.
(05:11):
And and every year the coaches who know what's going on ask me,
can you talk to the boys? Yeah, 100%.
And I tell them a story, you know, I tell them the whole
thing that my wife came home oneday when I was I'd taken as many
pills as I could. I was going to take myself and
she didn't see me doing it, but I've gone.
She just what do I do? And so Irene went in the
(05:33):
bathroom, chucked it all up so that she saved me.
And I tell them this story and they're just like, because I'm,
as you can tell, I'm up. I'm always Chitty, chatty,
cracking jokes taking. She hadn't come home
unexpectedly then. I'd be dead, 100%.
I'd be dead, yeah. So I presume at that point we've
obviously got to go back and then we'll come back to that
(05:53):
point. But was that a surprise for her
that you were at that point? When she found out later and it
was months later, wasn't, wasn'tthen.
And and The funny thing is months later when, because I was
in therapy and, and I'm still intherapy, I still go once every
six weeks now. And I, I talked about the
therapy and the lady said maybe you should tell your wife, you
(06:14):
know, And I was like, Oh shit, you know, I don't.
About that day. Yeah, I didn't.
I didn't know how she still. Didn't know, yeah.
No, no. And when I told her, she put
she's pretty intuitive, my missus, you know, like and she
went, I knew I knew something was wrong.
And then after that another timeand anyone out there that's been
that low will tell you how calm you feel when you get there.
(06:36):
To that point you go, everyone will be life's easy for everyone
else. I can just.
Julie Goodwin, who has been at that exact moment, Yeah.
And she's talked about it in herbook.
And then she came in here and wedid a two-part series on on
those bits in the book and she talked about that moment.
Yeah. That was exactly what it was.
It was just everyone else will be better off, yes, without me
(06:58):
in their life. Yes, and that and my.
And so the next time I was at that point again and Kathy
soared in my eyes, she could seesomething.
And she's like, what's the matter?
I'm like, oh, nothing, you know,keep the facade.
And she goes, Nah. And when she said something
again, I started to get teary and I started to break down.
I was in hospital the next day and that happened twice.
She saw it twice and I ended up in hospital twice.
(07:20):
From that just to saying, what'sthe matter?
Nothing. I mean, I've known her since,
you know, 8889, whatever we got together in 89 and I've known
her long before that. But yeah, it's just that just
that so and and and talking to the boys and afterwards we're
talking about 1719 nineteen yearold kids because it's under 20s
cults to a kid or man, a kid. They walked out every someone.
(07:42):
Thank you, Billy, thank you for sharing that.
Because then I tell them you guys keep me alive.
You know, coming down here is part of my therapy.
I've got lots of different things.
I do photography, having coffee with a bunch of bonnet fireman
down at your minor beach. You know, like so many things I
do, but that is one of them. And and it's funny because with
CTE and the PTSD that it's all hand in hand.
(08:03):
The only day of the week when I know something that I've got
something on is Saturday. I know Saturday I've got rugby
on, everything else I've got it written on the fridge so it's
like. Is that part of the planning of
So Julie talks about the things.She just talks about the things.
There's the things that she has to do to keep things on even
keel. Lately she's been busy and I
(08:25):
know she's fine with me talking about this after she's been
busy. She's had a lot of work on and a
lot of flights and things going on and she felt it.
She felt it coming on. And so she's actually locked in
to on Saturday. She's put it in the calendar.
She's painting. Yeah.
Yeah. That.
That's one of her things. Yeah.
Swimming in the ocean, coming onthis podcast and having a laugh
(08:48):
that I fall under the category of hanging out with mates.
Yeah, kind of. Yeah.
So when she's doing doing the things that she knows, that's
what's good for her. Yeah, Yeah, Well, mate, that's,
it's funny you're saying hangingout with mates because as soon
as we clicked about Canterbury. Now for people that don't know,
I love rugby, I'm a task supporter but love Canterbury
(09:08):
because I you're. A TAR supporter.
I'm a TAR supporter and very anyway, it was great having you
in. Thank you for coming.
Actually, I think when we spoke on the phone you said that you
were there in that grand final for the Super Rugby Waratahs
Crusaders 2014, yes. It was, yeah.
Yeah, and. Molly kicked the goal.
Molly kicked the goal and I remember that as well because I
was in that stadium as well as aCrusaders supporter in my
(09:30):
Crusaders jersey in that stadiumin Sydney with all of the
Waratahs. As I told you, I was in the I
was in the army. So many so it doesn't matter the
NZ. I know what that means.
I love that mate. But yeah, so that mate, so
that's what I'm saying like whenI knew we clicked, to me this is
having sitting with mates, having a chat.
Yeah, you know, because. That's the way I look at the
podcast and, and, and me doing these episodes as well.
(09:52):
Yeah, I could look at it as, as I'm down here for three hours
working today, Yeah, recording episodes that I'm gonna need to
edit it. But I know once I get in here,
I'm gonna love. I'm gonna love it.
Yeah. Yeah, look at the view.
You've picked this. I know, yeah, Dusty waterfront,
just looking out of the water. I back the pod van in so that
when the back is open like it isnow, we're just we're just
looking out of the water. It's sensational.
(10:14):
Yeah, alright, let's go back. Yep, way back.
How? How far back do we go where the
mental health stuff starts coming into it?
Probably 2003. So I joined the job in 1990 and
yeah, everything was fine. I got married in 91.
Yeah, everything was fine. I was going to lots of bad
stuff, but back in that time it was sucking up Buttercup.
(10:34):
No one. So this is as a firefighter
fire? Yeah, look.
Mate, going back years, I don't I was just AI was full on.
Like I said, I reckon I had a ADHD Yeah, because I was a full
on kid mate. That mine I'm Taurus like.
My birthday's next Friday, by the way.
Make a note. Apparently the way you looked at
me says make a note of. That just send me Julie's book.
Actually, I've already got it signed.
(10:54):
Someone got me Julie's book signed.
It was great. Dear Billy Mack.
So I was full of beans and mum called me the Raging Bull before
the movie even came out. Yeah, he's like, oh, here comes
the Raging Bull. You know, 'cause I was just.
It's funny my my parents, my mumloves to tell the story about me
on my ride on plastic scooter for a three wheeled trike at
3:00 in the morning on the wooden floorboards up and down
(11:15):
the hallway. Yes, you get.
It that was me energy. What are we gonna do?
I'm gonna ride my bike. That's.
It let's gotta get it out. No, it's funny.
I I cut 4 tenons in my foot whenI was 4.
So I stepped on a broken beer bottle that basically went
across the top of my foot like aa razor cut 4 tenons 'cause I
wasn't wrenched. I never wore shoes.
(11:36):
Just jump in here and throw in that I was running around
underneath a house and stood on this rusty nail that went right
up through the bottom of my foot.
Not wearing shoes, running around, we're so different.
We do. Yes, yes.
So so I cut 4 tendons, they tookme to hospital, they did the
surgery, fixed my foot, took me home.
So that was probably about midnight.
(11:56):
By the time we got home the nextday, mum could hear cocoon,
cocoon and this vibrating noise.I was pushing my Tonka truck
around the table with a cast on.So the Katung Katung and mum's
like freaked out, got me to lay down, called the doctor and said
listen, this is what he said. If he's running around, let him
go. Yeah, they probably did it
different back then. Yeah, Yeah.
So. That's why I said I reckon I had
(12:18):
ADHD back then. But but as far as the like
mental health stuff, there was never any.
You know, nothing ever worried me.
You know, nothing ever worried me.
We're in a yeah, very different time.
And I think now, now you can recognise things.
Like I say, it was only maybe six months ago, 6-8 months ago,
I had Heather Irvine Randall from the Reed Clinic in here and
(12:41):
she was talking about all that ADHD and it was listeners of The
Reg, listeners of this podcast, we've heard this story.
But the short version is as she was saying these things, I was
like, Oh my God, I take a lot ofthese boxes.
And I said that at the time. I said, oh, I reckon you got an
undiagnosed one on your hands here.
My dad messaged me that day whenit came out.
And I don't know about undiagnosed.
We took you when you were three and we didn't go go down the
(13:06):
medicated path or anything. But I'd never thought that.
I had never thought of myself asADHD until that moment when
Heather was in here and everything just kind of clicked.
And so I just kind of left that at that point and I thought, I
do want to talk to mum and dad about that and that that's
interesting. But it was when Kyla from Cakes
by Kyla, it just in a conversation that we were having
(13:27):
on text, she said, Oh yeah, I'm on my new ADHD meds now.
And Oh my God, it's a whole new world.
Like I'm so focused and I can get so much done.
I'm like, wait, what? And her head's not in a million
different places. It can still go to those other
places. But then you go just the way I
describe it for me, it's a thinking gap which I've never
had before. If I think I do, in fact I do
(13:51):
before, I think yes. And I just haven't described it
as a normal person's brain is think, do stop.
And an ADHD brain is do stop think.
And, and that's me. My whole life is just do a
thing. And then afterwards go, why
don't I do that? I'm such an idiot.
And then I'll. Do it again.
Well, in the same. It'll be the same with you.
(14:12):
You say something, then you go fuck.
Sorry. Look, can I swear?
Sorry. You have now.
Yeah, This one, this one's got awarning on it.
Don't worry. In fact, the whole description
of this episode is just warnings.
It's like being at a fire station.
Yeah. And.
And and. Yeah.
You say something and then you just can't.
Did I just say that out loud? Yeah, But everyone's pissing
(14:32):
themselves around. You're laughing their heads off.
You're like. Yeah, definitely had those
moments afterwards going. What did I say that for?
So yeah, I think and the conversations around mental
health now, like the next episode I'm recording after you
is Walk It Off, a men's mental health group that walk around
Derrigal, and now there's a women's one as well.
Yep. And they're gonna be jumping.
(14:53):
I just love that there's so muchmore talk about it.
People are more open about it. When you go and talk to Eastwood
Colts, Yep, about this stuff andyou've got 1819 year olds, I
guarantee you there's ones therein the room.
And I don't know if they've saidanything to you.
And they'll be sitting there going, that's me.
Yeah, and I have had it. I have had it last year or the
year before. I I did it and I had one of the
guys pull me aside later. He said, Billy, can I have a
(15:15):
chat? I'm thinking, yeah, what do you,
you know, you want some advice about being a second row?
And he goes, mate, thank you forspeaking.
He said, I've got, you know, he he told me he's had mental
health issues, bullied as a kid,which look at this guy was a
mountain thinking who's bullyingyou?
Yeah, you know, and he said, mate, that's that really helped
me. And then he, he wasn't getting
any help. 6-8 weeks later, we'd stand there and he comes up.
(15:38):
He goes, hey mate, he goes, yeah, good brother.
Yeah, he goes, but I'm seeing someone.
I went, good on you, mate. Figured he was seeing a chick.
And he goes, oh, I'm seeing the therapist went oh mate, I had
him. I just had.
Him and then amazing. Yeah, yeah.
So. Anyone sharing their story or
telling someone else it, you gotto be vulnerable.
You got to be open to doing thatwhen you do it and then someone
(16:02):
else when they can see that. OK, so I am exactly the same as
you were, but you're getting help and I probably should too.
And if you are, then I can. And through this kind of
platform, I can do it with more people.
Absolutely. And mate, I've said it to other
people. Like I know Paddy really well.
Yeah, yeah, Paddy's a great mateof mine, you know, I'm really,
I've said it to him and I've said other people, and I'm going
(16:23):
to say it to you. You're saving lives.
I seriously mean you're saving lives just doing this.
You and I talking right now. One person hears this,
guaranteed. One person will go hang on.
That's me. Yeah, I'm going to go and get
help. Yeah.
So whether you like it or not, because I know I say.
No, I actually, I think in the past I would have gone.
I don't know about saving lives or anything, but I actually have
(16:46):
seen it in, in the last year, I've, I can think of actual
names of people who have so, so many that have reached out to me
that through episodes like this have gone and got help.
And it's just, I think it's seeing that life can be better.
(17:06):
Yes. You don't have to be sitting in
your deep dark place. You don't have to.
No, you can live a better life and you only get one shot at.
It yes. Yeah.
Well, it's people. What do people say?
Oh, you only live once No, no, no, you die once.
Yeah, every day. You know, like and and, yeah.
And there's also different chapters of your life, I think,
as well as like in, in the wholestory of your life, man, the
(17:28):
different chapters I've had, thedifferent every day is a chance
to start again. You don't like where you are and
what you're doing. You actually, and Julie talked
about this when she talks about her favorite, like her word for
this year, for like kind of likea New Year's resolution.
It was choice. You think you don't have choices
in, but you do in every single situation.
(17:51):
There's just repercussions. There are there are things that
will come from that. So the whole, you know, I hate
my job. We'll quit then.
I can't. I can't.
Where am I going to get on the table and all this kind of
thing? Yeah.
No, but the choice is you can. You actually could.
You could walk in to go. That's it.
I quit. The reality is these things can
(18:13):
happen, but you always have choice.
And, and The thing is, if you don't want your job, change the
circumstance of your job. Like when I was in the forest,
they said eventually. And The funny thing is Reed
Clinic is where I first started.Oh, OK.
Yeah. Bloody hell.
What was that, 2000? With Doctor John.
No, I did. Doctor John.
Yeah, really. And he's he's.
Been on an episode of this as well.
(18:33):
Yeah, yeah, he. Used to, he used to do the the
the trivia night at Empire Bay Primary School easily.
Yeah, the guy I was with, when Ihad another meltdown, he said,
Mate, you either have to get offthe trucks 'cause I fought to
stay on the trucks. I am not coming off the trucks.
I'm too tough for that. I'm too OK.
I got PTSD, I'll get help with that.
But I'm not coming off the trucks because I can handle it.
(18:55):
And I went to a really bad prankdown at your minor.
One of the kids that was in the car was a kid took his dad's car
under 6. They were 16.
One of the kids in the car, thatwasn't the kid that took the
car. He played cricket with my son
and it was like, and thing is, mate, I'll go straight in the
mode. Even now.
Something happens right now out here.
Straight in the mode. Yeah, my boss knew.
(19:16):
I knew him. He goes, mate, you got to take
care of that girl over there on the ground.
There's a girl on the around. Yep.
No worries, I'll do that. But after that, it was like, and
as I said, I ran in the boys this morning.
One of them was there with me and he goes afterwards.
He goes, yeah, OK. I said, yeah, man, I'm good,
good as gold. When I got home, that's when
everything went to shit. That's when I even started to
fall apart. And I'd be yelling at Kathy,
yelling at Daniel. That's my wife and son for for
(19:38):
no reason. Yeah, probably because they're
but for the grace of God. And.
And then when it came to the point, they went, that's it,
this is it, you're off the trucks.
You either leave the fire brigade or find a job within
fire that's not operational. So I went OK, so.
Who said that? The psychologist and and pretty
much Kathy as well. My wife, she's like you.
(19:58):
You can't keep doing this. It's just not good for you.
It's not good for us. Do you think was that the moment
like the you minor crash? Yep, it wasn't things before.
It's like a build up. Yeah.
So that that, so when you have aworker's comp form, if you've
ever seen one, it's like date ofinjury.
So my date of injury is the 1st of January 2005.
(20:21):
But it was accumulation before that.
So it was all the accumulated stuff.
First Prang ever went to was 3 kids in a car, 2 dead straight
away. Kids as in like 18 year olds.
Two were dead. One, we brought her back.
She died. We brought her back.
She died. We brought her.
I can see her right now, but I'mgood.
Don't worry. I'm not going to freak out.
Yeah. And she ended up passing away
because I made a phone call to afriend who was a copper.
(20:43):
So mate had that young Sheila gofrom that car.
So mate, she died. I never did that again.
Ever. Ever.
I didn't. You don't want.
To know no, yeah, I did my job, let him go.
And so that was the beginning. And then, you know, car crashes
were the worst. They're the worst.
I think if anyone were to outside of the Fieries, anyone
(21:04):
turns up on a crash scene and sees something like that, that's
going to mess them up. Absolutely.
You're seeing it constantly. It pretty much wobbled in
Sydney. It was pretty much daily up
here, would have been weekly. But the thing about being up
here on the coast, if you know everyone and I've been to so
many praying now this was the worst one because it was a kid.
(21:27):
I've been in other pranks where I knew the people, whether
they're, you know, older blokes or older Shields, either one, it
didn't matter. I knew them.
But it was like a, you know, getthem out, you're OK, you know,
be fine. And then you'd say I'm like,
hey, mate, thanks heaps for helping me, mate.
Two things. It's my job and you're a mates
and I yeah, but that's just something I had to work very
hard at in hospitals who accept people saying thank you because
(21:47):
I can never. I'm usually oh mate, don't worry
about it. But now it's like, my pleasure.
With that face, yeah. Like, but I didn't do it, Yeah.
But so, yeah, it was like. Have you been to Guandalin
Bowling Club? They're right there on the
shores of Lake Macquarie. They do delicious meals upstairs
in the Four Shore Bistro and Cafe which is run by the Dish
(22:08):
Catering Group so you know it's good stuff and you can dine out
on the balcony looking out over the lake.
It is beautiful. They got the cute little 4 shore
kiosk for a coffee and snacks right by the jetty.
The entertainment's top notch. They got Friday tonight seafood
raffles and Sunday sessions withlive music in the beer garden.
You want to find out what's happening at the club, check out
(22:30):
their Facebook page or visit gwandalanbowlingclub.com dot AU.
Think up a miter 10 have been big supporters of the Pod Damn
podcast right from the start, and you get all the stuff from
them that you'd expect to. You get plants, you get all the
Weber stuff, you get all the still here, the amazing
principal kitchens, but it's thestuff that you don't expect
like. This lady comes in and she's
(22:51):
hired a goat. But to clear some, she wanted to
work out a way how to tether this goat.
I come up with an idea of a bit of stainless steel wire between
2 trees, like a zip line betweenthe two trees.
To the goat. She took my advice.
I don't know how it turned out, but she was very happy with the
service that she got. That's what she got.
And the mighty helpful King Campbell Miner Gen.
(23:18):
So that was it and it was like you need to get off the trucks
because the bucket was full. My traumatic bucket was full.
So I called a mate of mine who was running the officers at the
training college because his brother was one of the he was
there as well. They're both superintendents and
really good mates of mine. So I called Rick and I said,
listen, Gray is his brother. I said he's advertised for this
(23:38):
job at the college you reckon I'd be good at.
He goes, you'd be perfect mate, you're organised things you'd
and he said, but why don't you apply for one of the instructors
jobs? I said, where was that now in
the fire brigade every week theyput out in orders, which is like
a weekly report of what's going on in the job and, and advertise
jobs in there for, for within the fire brigade.
And I said, he said it was in, in orders.
(24:00):
I said, mate, I'll look for the terminations and my name's not
there. Just run back on the table.
He's gone. Nothing's changed with you.
And I said what? And he, it was him he was
advertising them. So he goes, I still need people
so and so I put in the application which was pretty
much. It's yours.
What are you doing as an instructor?
(24:21):
Teaching New. Firies.
Oh wow, so oh, you'd love. That I did mate.
I absolutely love that Rabs whenI was up here for 10 years.
So I was, I went from Newtown toyour minor.
Now anyone that's recovered fromany sort of addiction, that's
like going from heroin to smarties overnight, right?
It's like going full on fires trains just and Newtown's a
(24:44):
great area. I love Newtown to going to
basically sitting around waitingfor a fire.
And when you do go to it again, you usually know the people you
know, especially around here, like you know, everyone knows
each. Even the fire is cops and ambos.
We all got to know each other really, really well.
It was just going from flat out to waiting for a call.
(25:06):
Where? Where?
When you're at Newtown, like oneevery now and then at Newtown,
you'd wake up in the morning andgo, Jesus, did I miss the bells?
Did I sleep right through because nothing happened?
Very rare. Yeah, very rare anywhere.
Anywhere around that inner city area, if you.
Wake up of your own volition. You just go, Oh God, what
happened? How did I get here?
(25:27):
Why did I miss a call? Why?
Why am I just waking up like a normal human?
Oh, something's not right. You get up, you're looking at
each other down. Did we turn out last night?
No. Thank God you didn't miss it.
But were you seeing someone for PTSD before EU minor crash?
Yeah, it was. Yeah, it's that timeline.
You, you came up here to be doing that big, right?
(25:48):
So I was diagnosed in 2003 because my GP said to me, he's
AGP, I've had, we've had him forever, every king Comer,
absolute great bloke. And he said to me mate, I'm
pretty sure you've probably got some kind of PTSD.
And I'm like. Mate, no.
What's he basing that on? Just on because he'd speak spoke
to Kathy, you know, reactions that that from Kathy things that
(26:10):
I was telling him symptoms ragesbecause I I think I went to talk
to him about my road rage because I was getting road rage,
horrendous road rage. So someone would pull across in
front of me or do something stupid and I would go nuts.
But you're coming at that road rage from a different
perspective. Yes, you're coming at that
going. I've seen what you just did.
I've seen what it can cause. Mate, exactly what it that's
(26:33):
exactly what it was. I've seen what your stupidity
can result in. Yeah, I was driving home
yesterday at the F3. Now I'm old.
For those people, that's the M1.When you learn to drive a truck
on the fire brigade, it's not about the car in front of you.
You're looking for cars in frontof you.
Yep, and that's how I still drive and I'm coming down
towards the Hawkesbury and I cansee this imbecile in and out,
like he's probably 200 metres ahead of me and I'm watching all
(26:55):
the cars in front of me. And he said it, yeah.
And jeez mate, just let me get past you.
I don't, I don't want to be behind you.
Yeah, I I get that sometimes as well.
Or someone tailgating or whatever.
I'll just pull over and just, I'll even pull off the road and
just let him go, 'cause I'm like, I don't like what you're
doing to me. Yes, like how, how it's
(27:16):
affecting me. I'm getting all worked up here.
You know what, If I just pull over and let you go, you're not
my problem anymore. Yeah, it's that tightness in the
chest. Yeah.
Yeah, you should have been the fiery reps.
Yeah, it was on the list. Policeman was on the list.
Jet fighter jet. Yeah, that was that was on the
list as well. Mom was, Mom was jet pilot.
(27:37):
Yeah. Fiery Army or Wallaby?
But then I never got. There.
I mine was radio, Yeah. Personal trainer, police
officer. They were my main three.
I did two of them, Yeah. So, and then, you know, I I went
to ATC, the Air Training Corps, too.
So did you. Wasn't it was a kid so.
Funny, yeah, same as a kid and like 2 weeks of of Wednesday
(27:59):
nights or whatever it was turning up and yeah, folding the
flag and marching around or overthere in New Zealand.
Yeah, this was Wednesday night. I was at City Rd.
Alexander City Rd. Well, we were in Sydney
University and Reserve Regiment building.
Yeah, no, I got my uniform, mil hat and everything.
Had to everybody. Shoes shined up and all that.
And yeah, two weeks of that and I went.
(28:19):
When am I flying jets? Yeah.
Don't understand. This is boring.
And I dropped out. I don't.
Want to get in that Skyhawk? Today.
Yeah, yeah, let's, I mean, let'sjust start the path at least.
Oh, you went further than two weeks?
Yeah, yeah, I said I was. I became a corporal, which is
you really. Yeah, I was in for about 4-4 or
(28:42):
five years. As a corporal in the.
In the Army Air Training Corps, No.
Then also then I went from thereto the Army.
I went from the Air Force cadetsto I went from flying around in
planes to walking everywhere. Let.
Me just describe the 2. Of them.
Just broke it down. So what's the difference
between? One you fly, the other one you
(29:04):
walk. And the other one, you go on
boats. Yeah, that's.
All Menice. Menice came in when she was
about 17. She's half Kiwi, by the way.
And now we're going to The Crusaders game next Friday
night. I'm in Sydney.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crusaders are playing.
Task Waratahs. Yeah, no, I won't go to that.
I, I have PTSD from 2014. No, I'm scared.
(29:26):
I am honestly. I am my, my daughter and I,
yeah, we love The Crusaders. We watch all Crusaders games
together. We just went over at the start
of this year. So for my birthday in the last
year, my wife got me a present. It was a couple of tickets,
couple of $12.00 tickets to a game, Crusaders versus Auckland
Blues. But it's a preseason game and
(29:48):
it's played on this tiny little club rugby field.
Yes, but you know, and it's likeright before the season starts.
So all the all the players are there, all the big players.
She's like, so you know, here's your tickets, you just got to
get yourself there. And so we did a daddy daughter
trip, My daughter, my 15 year old daughter and I, we flew over
to Christchurch. We went out to this rugby club
ground. We met Cody Taylor and oh,
(30:11):
there's so many of the All Blacks that we met.
Yeah. Why were you saying about going
down to The Crusaders? Yeah, my niece, she said to me,
Uncle Bill, I'm I want to join the Army.
She was 17. No, no, you don't.
She goes. But yeah, I said yeah, I know.
And I said that's why I'm telling you Air Force or Navy,
she's like, oh, but I said do you want to walk everywhere or
(30:32):
do you want to fly and cruise everywhere?
She's like, oh, she wanted to shoot guns.
So she's a bosons mate, which they defend the ship.
Oh wow, yeah, yeah. So she's been in 12 years now.
She was on the HMAS Canberra. She's a Petty Officer now
staying in, loves it. Loves this.
Yeah, and it's funny because I now volunteer with a mob more
disaster relative Australia, which is it was started by Jeff
(30:55):
Evans, who's an ex fiery and ex commando and it's him and a
couple other boys started in Australia and it's ex veterans
that go around and help people clean up their when there's a
storm. We we're we're under the Gold
Coast. I went to Hawk's Bay.
Hawk's Bay was one of the most heart filling times I've ever
had in my life. Going to Hawks by and helping
the Kiwis. What you go and clean up after
disaster? Thanks.
(31:16):
So is this a paid thing? Not voluntary, They said to me,
call me. So mate, you want to go to New
Zealand? We're sending people over the
cleanup. I mean, and I became an ANZAC.
That's when I felt like an Anzacbecause I actually did stuff
with Kiwis. I think there are so many things
that people do voluntarily that others just don't realize.
I went into radio station Coast FM here this morning.
(31:38):
I mentioned you on on the radio this morning as well.
And when I was in there, I, one of the guy that was on air with
Wayne C, he was saying how the weekend before, he did the
bricky thing on the Sunday morning, then it was at this
thing all day, this broadcast thing, and then packed it down
at like 9:00 at night or whatever.
Yeah. And then I went, this is all
voluntary, isn't it? But you don't get paid.
No, don't get paid for it. It's amazing.
(32:02):
You know what it it a mate of mine, there's 22 really good
mates, my Mark Ryan and Chris Perry, newer firies who massive
supporters as I as I was going out of the job and they were
doing it and they're out of the job now as well.
But they were doing this stuff with desire.
They were still on the fire brigade but doing it and and
Mark Riley, whose nickname's Pac-Man, he said, mate, perfect
(32:22):
fit for you, ex Army X4, you will fit like a finger in a
glove. I said, all right, well, but I
walked into the Ford operations base in Korakai and I had a New
York Yankees hat on and I walkedin and there was a bloke sitting
at the operations table typing away that stuff because they're
planning on we're going to cleanthis house and that house and
this school and that school. And he looks up and he goes,
(32:42):
what a shit hat. And I looked around and went,
who do you go for? He said, I go for the Padre said
they've won shit in 30 years. And it was on the band.
It was just like walking into a mess room.
Yeah, either a mess room in the fire beard or a mess room in the
army and we were getting stuck in and everyone's laughing their
ass off. I'd never met this bloke in my
life. Yeah.
Now he's one of my great mates. So it was a perfect fit and and
(33:02):
it just feels good to help people with with, you know,
with. And you don't want anything for
it, you know. And I got other mates at the
forest gun. I wouldn't do it if I didn't get
paid. So there's a difference between
you and me mate. Honestly, though, that's the one
difference between you and I spotted through this whole
thing. I, I look at people like you and
Wayne at the radio station, you know, like all that voluntary
(33:25):
stuff. And if I'm being honest, I don't
think I have that in me. Yeah.
But, you know, I, I, I, I absolutely admire and I, but I
can't get my head around people that do that.
Maybe because I have to wear thedifferent chapters of my life.
Maybe I'll get to that at some point where I'll just go, I
don't know. I just want to give back.
(33:48):
Well, you do. You give them back whether you
like it or not. As I said, yeah.
Yeah, so, but I like to be paid.Yeah.
So I, yeah, I think it's a completely different mindset.
Yeah. Someone who just wants to go out
and help the animal, give their time and that, and I don't know,
I feel like that's either in youor it's not.
I pretty much enjoy it. It's funny because that disaster
(34:10):
leaves. Try every night we do the Ode,
same as the Anzac ode. Every night we do it, we lower
the flag, do the ode, put the flag back up, and then the beer
flag goes up. Yeah, yeah.
There's a real camaraderie kind of 100%.
That's a big part of it as well as yes.
There is one of the guys who's aVietnam, but he says, I mean,
mate, can you do the ode tonight?
(34:31):
I went absolutely. I said do you mind if I have a
chat before it? He said no, go ahead.
And the chat is I'm the great grandson of a Posiere survivor.
I'm the grandson of a Ratatur Brooke.
I'm the nephew of a Vietnam veteran and I'm the uncle of a
current serving Navy veteran andI'm ex Army as well.
Did that, did the ode afterwardsmade-up the the couple of the
(34:52):
guys come up and said it's just in your DNA, in it?
Absolutely. It is.
It really is. Yeah.
That has shaped you. That's it.
And and well, my uncle who, my grandfather's, you know, my
mum's brother, He, he was in thearmy as well.
But he's, he's the best story. He joined the army and they
went. Are you a boxer?
Yeah. So he fought for two years as a
boxer. That's what he did in his two
years, like 58 to 60 in his national service.
(35:14):
He fought for two years. He boxed in the Army.
That's all he did. He loved that.
That's awesome. It's like me going to Malaya and
yeah, so. So he joined the fire brigade.
He was a he came out of the Army.
He finished his apprenticeship as a Carpenter, he said.
He said he's done. How did you on the fire?
We go for six months as a break from being a Carpenter. 40 years
later, he retired. Yeah.
(35:36):
So I called him into being of service.
Yeah, to people. Well, people say you've got to
finish your uniforms. I go.
Of course I have. Get discounts somewhere, Yeah.
In some places, yeah. Yeah, but so she joined.
She loves it. She loves.
It that's great. And it's funny, I and she loves
it when we say this. Anyone that's in the Army or the
Navy loves it when we say the Army sleep under the stars, the
(35:57):
Navy navigate by the stars and the Air Force won't sleep in
anything less than five star. Love that.
And you say to an Air Force plate and they just nod.
You're just not. Yeah, it is what it is, right?
That's why I wanted to get into that.
Oh, that's yeah, Yeah, man. Well, listen, you and I could
talk forever. I do need to because I've got
another guest to jump in. I can come back.
(36:19):
He got into. I would actually love that.
Yeah. I want to know more about the,
you know, the PTSD and the counseling and the OR therapy
and all the things you're working through with that 'cause
I think that stuff can, can helpother people.
I know you've got more stories. Yeah.
Sung on stage with Jimmy Barnes.Well, yeah, I've seen the video
of you singing on stage with Jimmy Barnes.
We've got to that. You know, the sad thing is Jimmy
(36:41):
hasn't stopped telling people about it.
Oh. I know.
Yeah. Yeah, He reached out to me.
I know, I understand. He's gone, mate.
I got him. Your start, little young kid
from Glasgow. Get on him.
He's gone well now. He has, yeah.
Yeah. And I said I'm talking to Billy
Mack and he's like. Mate, he is actually a champion
bloke. He he is as you see him, yeah,
you know, it's there's no pretence about him at all.
(37:02):
We'll. Get into that next time.
But yeah, you are absolutely jumping back in the van.
Yeah mate, I'm, I'm in, I'm keenas.
Much thank you so much pleasure.You know, there's days where I
had one the other day with Juliewhere I was walking up the
driveway. We generally record outside my
house and I was walking up the driveway and I was feeling like
I didn't have anything prepared to chat about.
And she actually afterwards saidto me as well that she felt the
(37:24):
exact same way as she was driving around this, like, oh
God, I haven't even really thought about anything.
We had I think the funniest episode we've ever done.
It's such a laugh. And afterwards I said to her, I
really needed that, you know? Mate, I'm telling you right now
and I'm getting emotionally you asshole.
My heart is filled right now. It feels great.
Sit near chatting and and it's it's just a couple of mates
(37:45):
chatting. Yeah.
So yeah. And I've I've loved it and I'm
more than happy to come back. Thank you and I will get the.
Oh, you don't drink coffee? No, that's right.
That's a bit weird. No.
Yeah. We'll get into that next time,
do that.
Rabbit podcast with rabbit Hey, I'm Rabbit.
I record this podcast inside a cute little retro caravan from
1967 that I tore around all overthe place.
Fan podcast with rabbit Hey, didyou know that these are video
episodes now? I mean, if you're watching this,
then yes, you know that. But if you're not watching it,
you could be seeing the guests that I'm chatting to in the
episode. The video episodes are only
(00:25):
available on Spotify. And the other thing is, did you
know there's a Patreon members page?
Haven't mentioned it for a whileand I've recently had a couple
of people sign up saying I didn't even know this was a
thing. So there's like over 200 bits of
bonus content in there. There's weekly bonus episodes
with Julie that are only for Patreon members and it's 10
bucks a month. So if you want to join up, you
(00:46):
just go to podvan.com dot AU slash members.
One last one actually just before we go into there's a bit
of a warning on this episode. Billy Mac in this one, he's a ex
firefighter. He's seen some pretty horrific
stuff, been to a lot of accidents.
He talks about people do did pass away in accidents and
there's talk of suicide in this one as well.
(01:07):
So if you're not in the right headspace for that right now,
then maybe give this one a skip.It does get quite deep and
heavy, there's some emotional stuff in there and we have a lot
of laughs as well. It's quite a roller coaster.
I think you'll love the chat, but I just wanted to give you
that warning. A bit of a heads up before we
get into it. Mate, it's funny you're saying
about the ADHD because when I was in hospital, I was in there
(01:28):
for four months and we'll talk about it later.
I'm happy to talk about it, but the, the chick who was my
psychologist or I'd make you fucking thousand people talking
to him and she's gone. I'm gonna do a ADHD test for you
and yeah, 100% go ahead. You know I don't care and I've
already got enough initials. Give me more.
Yeah, she said. I think you probably do have,
mate. As a kid I was a rat bag.
(01:49):
Yeah. You know so.
It's funny because it's just a new thing for me.
I get either diagnosed. Oh no, we're only in the last
month. I think it has happened.
Yeah. And I had never even considered
it. So I've had anxiety.
I've been on anxiety meds for. So the Lexapro.
Yep. For seven years.
Yep. Actually, today is my first day
(02:12):
off them in seven years. So you're be because you're on
the ADHD. Because I'm on the other ones
yeah, so I could be taking both,but yeah, I stopped on those a
month ago when I got my prescription for the ADHD ones
and I've weaned myself off and yeah I've had the side effects
and stuff they're. Brutal to come.
Oh, the headaches. And yeah, yeah, and headaches
and stuff. You get the chatters, well, the.
(02:34):
No, as far as like tea, tea, chattering and.
I'm on Zoloft and sometimes likeI've got CTE as well which I've
only found out in the last 12 months with a chronic.
Well, that's the concussion, right?
Right. It's from the PTSD, well, PTSD
and rugby. And I was in the mortars in the
Army and my brother that I was in the army with sent me a thing
saying, hey, anyone that was in the mortars or artillery is
(02:57):
susceptible to CTE. I'm going, I've got the
trifecta. I've got it.
It's me. Well, look at you.
Just Yes. Collecting the loss.
You know what I haven't done here is introduced you so OK.
Let's sorry this. Is Billy Mack and I was down at
the waterfront one day I just finished doing an episode my
next guest was running a bit late actually.
I love when they do that. I actually do because I'm.
(03:19):
I'm late to everything. The three most beautiful words
in the world. Julie Goodwin has said these to
me are I'm running late. And I'm like, oh, thank you
because I haven't even left homeyet.
So I was just hanging down thereand the fire truck rolled in.
Fieries got off and I just started chatting to them because
they're looking at the pod van going.
What's that all about? And through talking to them at
(03:41):
one point, because I said to them, I wouldn't be able to get
any of you in here. I know I'm not even going to
ask. Yeah, because you'd be like, oh,
I gotta be keen as I've got so many stories.
But I know it's got to go up through the chain and then
someone is going to go no, yes, because that's just.
In case you bring us into disrepute.
And this is what I said to them.I said if I were able to talk to
(04:03):
that person, the one at the verytop that makes that decision,
Yep, give me 10 minutes with them and they would go, yeah,
OK, fine, 'cause everything I dois positive, supportive,
uplifting. I'm not getting gonna get into
anything. Yep.
And so I was talking to those firefighters down there at the
waterfront and then and they went, oh, but you know, you
should talk to Billy Mack. And I was like, OK, tell me
(04:24):
more. And they went ex firefighter out
with PTSD and does lots of greatthings in the community.
I'm not sure if they said then that you love your rugby, but if
they had then that would have been give me his number.
Is is, is love a word for rugby?Because it's it's, it's, it's
more a religion from and you as well.
Yeah, and that's what was amazing was so I said yeah,
yeah, yeah, give me his number. So I reached out to you.
(04:47):
You said you were on your way toa rugby game up in Newcastle.
Yes, I was going up to because Imanage Eastwood Colts, right?
And yeah, it was heading up to Newcastle.
Where's Eastwood? Sydney, right?
Yeah, near right. That's yeah, I drive down there
every Saturday. Oh OK mate.
It's you're making me emotional already, perhaps sorry, but it
is a dead set, massive part of my recovery to keep me on track.
(05:11):
And and every year the coaches who know what's going on ask me,
can you talk to the boys? Yeah, 100%.
And I tell them a story, you know, I tell them the whole
thing that my wife came home oneday when I was I'd taken as many
pills as I could. I was going to take myself and
she didn't see me doing it, but I've gone.
She just what do I do? And so Irene went in the
(05:33):
bathroom, chucked it all up so that she saved me.
And I tell them this story and they're just like, because I'm,
as you can tell, I'm up. I'm always Chitty, chatty,
cracking jokes taking. She hadn't come home
unexpectedly then. I'd be dead, 100%.
I'd be dead, yeah. So I presume at that point we've
obviously got to go back and then we'll come back to that
(05:53):
point. But was that a surprise for her
that you were at that point? When she found out later and it
was months later, wasn't, wasn'tthen.
And and The funny thing is months later when, because I was
in therapy and, and I'm still intherapy, I still go once every
six weeks now. And I, I talked about the
therapy and the lady said maybe you should tell your wife, you
(06:14):
know, And I was like, Oh shit, you know, I don't.
About that day. Yeah, I didn't.
I didn't know how she still. Didn't know, yeah.
No, no. And when I told her, she put
she's pretty intuitive, my missus, you know, like and she
went, I knew I knew something was wrong.
And then after that another timeand anyone out there that's been
that low will tell you how calm you feel when you get there.
(06:36):
To that point you go, everyone will be life's easy for everyone
else. I can just.
Julie Goodwin, who has been at that exact moment, Yeah.
And she's talked about it in herbook.
And then she came in here and wedid a two-part series on on
those bits in the book and she talked about that moment.
Yeah. That was exactly what it was.
It was just everyone else will be better off, yes, without me
(06:58):
in their life. Yes, and that and my.
And so the next time I was at that point again and Kathy
soared in my eyes, she could seesomething.
And she's like, what's the matter?
I'm like, oh, nothing, you know,keep the facade.
And she goes, Nah. And when she said something
again, I started to get teary and I started to break down.
I was in hospital the next day and that happened twice.
She saw it twice and I ended up in hospital twice.
(07:20):
From that just to saying, what'sthe matter?
Nothing. I mean, I've known her since,
you know, 8889, whatever we got together in 89 and I've known
her long before that. But yeah, it's just that just
that so and and and talking to the boys and afterwards we're
talking about 1719 nineteen yearold kids because it's under 20s
cults to a kid or man, a kid. They walked out every someone.
(07:42):
Thank you, Billy, thank you for sharing that.
Because then I tell them you guys keep me alive.
You know, coming down here is part of my therapy.
I've got lots of different things.
I do photography, having coffee with a bunch of bonnet fireman
down at your minor beach. You know, like so many things I
do, but that is one of them. And and it's funny because with
CTE and the PTSD that it's all hand in hand.
(08:03):
The only day of the week when I know something that I've got
something on is Saturday. I know Saturday I've got rugby
on, everything else I've got it written on the fridge so it's
like. Is that part of the planning of
So Julie talks about the things.She just talks about the things.
There's the things that she has to do to keep things on even
keel. Lately she's been busy and I
(08:25):
know she's fine with me talking about this after she's been
busy. She's had a lot of work on and a
lot of flights and things going on and she felt it.
She felt it coming on. And so she's actually locked in
to on Saturday. She's put it in the calendar.
She's painting. Yeah.
Yeah. That.
That's one of her things. Yeah.
Swimming in the ocean, coming onthis podcast and having a laugh
(08:48):
that I fall under the category of hanging out with mates.
Yeah, kind of. Yeah.
So when she's doing doing the things that she knows, that's
what's good for her. Yeah, Yeah, Well, mate, that's,
it's funny you're saying hangingout with mates because as soon
as we clicked about Canterbury. Now for people that don't know,
I love rugby, I'm a task supporter but love Canterbury
(09:08):
because I you're. A TAR supporter.
I'm a TAR supporter and very anyway, it was great having you
in. Thank you for coming.
Actually, I think when we spoke on the phone you said that you
were there in that grand final for the Super Rugby Waratahs
Crusaders 2014, yes. It was, yeah.
Yeah, and. Molly kicked the goal.
Molly kicked the goal and I remember that as well because I
was in that stadium as well as aCrusaders supporter in my
(09:30):
Crusaders jersey in that stadiumin Sydney with all of the
Waratahs. As I told you, I was in the I
was in the army. So many so it doesn't matter the
NZ. I know what that means.
I love that mate. But yeah, so that mate, so
that's what I'm saying like whenI knew we clicked, to me this is
having sitting with mates, having a chat.
Yeah, you know, because. That's the way I look at the
podcast and, and, and me doing these episodes as well.
(09:52):
Yeah, I could look at it as, as I'm down here for three hours
working today, Yeah, recording episodes that I'm gonna need to
edit it. But I know once I get in here,
I'm gonna love. I'm gonna love it.
Yeah. Yeah, look at the view.
You've picked this. I know, yeah, Dusty waterfront,
just looking out of the water. I back the pod van in so that
when the back is open like it isnow, we're just we're just
looking out of the water. It's sensational.
(10:14):
Yeah, alright, let's go back. Yep, way back.
How? How far back do we go where the
mental health stuff starts coming into it?
Probably 2003. So I joined the job in 1990 and
yeah, everything was fine. I got married in 91.
Yeah, everything was fine. I was going to lots of bad
stuff, but back in that time it was sucking up Buttercup.
(10:34):
No one. So this is as a firefighter
fire? Yeah, look.
Mate, going back years, I don't I was just AI was full on.
Like I said, I reckon I had a ADHD Yeah, because I was a full
on kid mate. That mine I'm Taurus like.
My birthday's next Friday, by the way.
Make a note. Apparently the way you looked at
me says make a note of. That just send me Julie's book.
Actually, I've already got it signed.
(10:54):
Someone got me Julie's book signed.
It was great. Dear Billy Mack.
So I was full of beans and mum called me the Raging Bull before
the movie even came out. Yeah, he's like, oh, here comes
the Raging Bull. You know, 'cause I was just.
It's funny my my parents, my mumloves to tell the story about me
on my ride on plastic scooter for a three wheeled trike at
3:00 in the morning on the wooden floorboards up and down
(11:15):
the hallway. Yes, you get.
It that was me energy. What are we gonna do?
I'm gonna ride my bike. That's.
It let's gotta get it out. No, it's funny.
I I cut 4 tenons in my foot whenI was 4.
So I stepped on a broken beer bottle that basically went
across the top of my foot like aa razor cut 4 tenons 'cause I
wasn't wrenched. I never wore shoes.
(11:36):
Just jump in here and throw in that I was running around
underneath a house and stood on this rusty nail that went right
up through the bottom of my foot.
Not wearing shoes, running around, we're so different.
We do. Yes, yes.
So so I cut 4 tendons, they tookme to hospital, they did the
surgery, fixed my foot, took me home.
So that was probably about midnight.
(11:56):
By the time we got home the nextday, mum could hear cocoon,
cocoon and this vibrating noise.I was pushing my Tonka truck
around the table with a cast on.So the Katung Katung and mum's
like freaked out, got me to lay down, called the doctor and said
listen, this is what he said. If he's running around, let him
go. Yeah, they probably did it
different back then. Yeah, Yeah.
So. That's why I said I reckon I had
(12:18):
ADHD back then. But but as far as the like
mental health stuff, there was never any.
You know, nothing ever worried me.
You know, nothing ever worried me.
We're in a yeah, very different time.
And I think now, now you can recognise things.
Like I say, it was only maybe six months ago, 6-8 months ago,
I had Heather Irvine Randall from the Reed Clinic in here and
(12:41):
she was talking about all that ADHD and it was listeners of The
Reg, listeners of this podcast, we've heard this story.
But the short version is as she was saying these things, I was
like, Oh my God, I take a lot ofthese boxes.
And I said that at the time. I said, oh, I reckon you got an
undiagnosed one on your hands here.
My dad messaged me that day whenit came out.
And I don't know about undiagnosed.
We took you when you were three and we didn't go go down the
(13:06):
medicated path or anything. But I'd never thought that.
I had never thought of myself asADHD until that moment when
Heather was in here and everything just kind of clicked.
And so I just kind of left that at that point and I thought, I
do want to talk to mum and dad about that and that that's
interesting. But it was when Kyla from Cakes
by Kyla, it just in a conversation that we were having
(13:27):
on text, she said, Oh yeah, I'm on my new ADHD meds now.
And Oh my God, it's a whole new world.
Like I'm so focused and I can get so much done.
I'm like, wait, what? And her head's not in a million
different places. It can still go to those other
places. But then you go just the way I
describe it for me, it's a thinking gap which I've never
had before. If I think I do, in fact I do
(13:51):
before, I think yes. And I just haven't described it
as a normal person's brain is think, do stop.
And an ADHD brain is do stop think.
And, and that's me. My whole life is just do a
thing. And then afterwards go, why
don't I do that? I'm such an idiot.
And then I'll. Do it again.
Well, in the same. It'll be the same with you.
(14:12):
You say something, then you go fuck.
Sorry. Look, can I swear?
Sorry. You have now.
Yeah, This one, this one's got awarning on it.
Don't worry. In fact, the whole description
of this episode is just warnings.
It's like being at a fire station.
Yeah. And.
And and. Yeah.
You say something and then you just can't.
Did I just say that out loud? Yeah, But everyone's pissing
(14:32):
themselves around. You're laughing their heads off.
You're like. Yeah, definitely had those
moments afterwards going. What did I say that for?
So yeah, I think and the conversations around mental
health now, like the next episode I'm recording after you
is Walk It Off, a men's mental health group that walk around
Derrigal, and now there's a women's one as well.
Yep. And they're gonna be jumping.
(14:53):
I just love that there's so muchmore talk about it.
People are more open about it. When you go and talk to Eastwood
Colts, Yep, about this stuff andyou've got 1819 year olds, I
guarantee you there's ones therein the room.
And I don't know if they've saidanything to you.
And they'll be sitting there going, that's me.
Yeah, and I have had it. I have had it last year or the
year before. I I did it and I had one of the
guys pull me aside later. He said, Billy, can I have a
(15:15):
chat? I'm thinking, yeah, what do you,
you know, you want some advice about being a second row?
And he goes, mate, thank you forspeaking.
He said, I've got, you know, he he told me he's had mental
health issues, bullied as a kid,which look at this guy was a
mountain thinking who's bullyingyou?
Yeah, you know, and he said, mate, that's that really helped
me. And then he, he wasn't getting
any help. 6-8 weeks later, we'd stand there and he comes up.
(15:38):
He goes, hey mate, he goes, yeah, good brother.
Yeah, he goes, but I'm seeing someone.
I went, good on you, mate. Figured he was seeing a chick.
And he goes, oh, I'm seeing the therapist went oh mate, I had
him. I just had.
Him and then amazing. Yeah, yeah.
So. Anyone sharing their story or
telling someone else it, you gotto be vulnerable.
You got to be open to doing thatwhen you do it and then someone
(16:02):
else when they can see that. OK, so I am exactly the same as
you were, but you're getting help and I probably should too.
And if you are, then I can. And through this kind of
platform, I can do it with more people.
Absolutely. And mate, I've said it to other
people. Like I know Paddy really well.
Yeah, yeah, Paddy's a great mateof mine, you know, I'm really,
I've said it to him and I've said other people, and I'm going
(16:23):
to say it to you. You're saving lives.
I seriously mean you're saving lives just doing this.
You and I talking right now. One person hears this,
guaranteed. One person will go hang on.
That's me. Yeah, I'm going to go and get
help. Yeah.
So whether you like it or not, because I know I say.
No, I actually, I think in the past I would have gone.
I don't know about saving lives or anything, but I actually have
(16:46):
seen it in, in the last year, I've, I can think of actual
names of people who have so, so many that have reached out to me
that through episodes like this have gone and got help.
And it's just, I think it's seeing that life can be better.
(17:06):
Yes. You don't have to be sitting in
your deep dark place. You don't have to.
No, you can live a better life and you only get one shot at.
It yes. Yeah.
Well, it's people. What do people say?
Oh, you only live once No, no, no, you die once.
Yeah, every day. You know, like and and, yeah.
And there's also different chapters of your life, I think,
as well as like in, in the wholestory of your life, man, the
(17:28):
different chapters I've had, thedifferent every day is a chance
to start again. You don't like where you are and
what you're doing. You actually, and Julie talked
about this when she talks about her favorite, like her word for
this year, for like kind of likea New Year's resolution.
It was choice. You think you don't have choices
in, but you do in every single situation.
(17:51):
There's just repercussions. There are there are things that
will come from that. So the whole, you know, I hate
my job. We'll quit then.
I can't. I can't.
Where am I going to get on the table and all this kind of
thing? Yeah.
No, but the choice is you can. You actually could.
You could walk in to go. That's it.
I quit. The reality is these things can
(18:13):
happen, but you always have choice.
And, and The thing is, if you don't want your job, change the
circumstance of your job. Like when I was in the forest,
they said eventually. And The funny thing is Reed
Clinic is where I first started.Oh, OK.
Yeah. Bloody hell.
What was that, 2000? With Doctor John.
No, I did. Doctor John.
Yeah, really. And he's he's.
Been on an episode of this as well.
(18:33):
Yeah, yeah, he. Used to, he used to do the the
the trivia night at Empire Bay Primary School easily.
Yeah, the guy I was with, when Ihad another meltdown, he said,
Mate, you either have to get offthe trucks 'cause I fought to
stay on the trucks. I am not coming off the trucks.
I'm too tough for that. I'm too OK.
I got PTSD, I'll get help with that.
But I'm not coming off the trucks because I can handle it.
(18:55):
And I went to a really bad prankdown at your minor.
One of the kids that was in the car was a kid took his dad's car
under 6. They were 16.
One of the kids in the car, thatwasn't the kid that took the
car. He played cricket with my son
and it was like, and thing is, mate, I'll go straight in the
mode. Even now.
Something happens right now out here.
Straight in the mode. Yeah, my boss knew.
(19:16):
I knew him. He goes, mate, you got to take
care of that girl over there on the ground.
There's a girl on the around. Yep.
No worries, I'll do that. But after that, it was like, and
as I said, I ran in the boys this morning.
One of them was there with me and he goes afterwards.
He goes, yeah, OK. I said, yeah, man, I'm good,
good as gold. When I got home, that's when
everything went to shit. That's when I even started to
fall apart. And I'd be yelling at Kathy,
yelling at Daniel. That's my wife and son for for
(19:38):
no reason. Yeah, probably because they're
but for the grace of God. And.
And then when it came to the point, they went, that's it,
this is it, you're off the trucks.
You either leave the fire brigade or find a job within
fire that's not operational. So I went OK, so.
Who said that? The psychologist and and pretty
much Kathy as well. My wife, she's like you.
(19:58):
You can't keep doing this. It's just not good for you.
It's not good for us. Do you think was that the moment
like the you minor crash? Yep, it wasn't things before.
It's like a build up. Yeah.
So that that, so when you have aworker's comp form, if you've
ever seen one, it's like date ofinjury.
So my date of injury is the 1st of January 2005.
(20:21):
But it was accumulation before that.
So it was all the accumulated stuff.
First Prang ever went to was 3 kids in a car, 2 dead straight
away. Kids as in like 18 year olds.
Two were dead. One, we brought her back.
She died. We brought her back.
She died. We brought her.
I can see her right now, but I'mgood.
Don't worry. I'm not going to freak out.
Yeah. And she ended up passing away
because I made a phone call to afriend who was a copper.
(20:43):
So mate had that young Sheila gofrom that car.
So mate, she died. I never did that again.
Ever. Ever.
I didn't. You don't want.
To know no, yeah, I did my job, let him go.
And so that was the beginning. And then, you know, car crashes
were the worst. They're the worst.
I think if anyone were to outside of the Fieries, anyone
(21:04):
turns up on a crash scene and sees something like that, that's
going to mess them up. Absolutely.
You're seeing it constantly. It pretty much wobbled in
Sydney. It was pretty much daily up
here, would have been weekly. But the thing about being up
here on the coast, if you know everyone and I've been to so
many praying now this was the worst one because it was a kid.
(21:27):
I've been in other pranks where I knew the people, whether
they're, you know, older blokes or older Shields, either one, it
didn't matter. I knew them.
But it was like a, you know, getthem out, you're OK, you know,
be fine. And then you'd say I'm like,
hey, mate, thanks heaps for helping me, mate.
Two things. It's my job and you're a mates
and I yeah, but that's just something I had to work very
hard at in hospitals who accept people saying thank you because
(21:47):
I can never. I'm usually oh mate, don't worry
about it. But now it's like, my pleasure.
With that face, yeah. Like, but I didn't do it, Yeah.
But so, yeah, it was like. Have you been to Guandalin
Bowling Club? They're right there on the
shores of Lake Macquarie. They do delicious meals upstairs
in the Four Shore Bistro and Cafe which is run by the Dish
(22:08):
Catering Group so you know it's good stuff and you can dine out
on the balcony looking out over the lake.
It is beautiful. They got the cute little 4 shore
kiosk for a coffee and snacks right by the jetty.
The entertainment's top notch. They got Friday tonight seafood
raffles and Sunday sessions withlive music in the beer garden.
You want to find out what's happening at the club, check out
(22:30):
their Facebook page or visit gwandalanbowlingclub.com dot AU.
Think up a miter 10 have been big supporters of the Pod Damn
podcast right from the start, and you get all the stuff from
them that you'd expect to. You get plants, you get all the
Weber stuff, you get all the still here, the amazing
principal kitchens, but it's thestuff that you don't expect
like. This lady comes in and she's
(22:51):
hired a goat. But to clear some, she wanted to
work out a way how to tether this goat.
I come up with an idea of a bit of stainless steel wire between
2 trees, like a zip line betweenthe two trees.
To the goat. She took my advice.
I don't know how it turned out, but she was very happy with the
service that she got. That's what she got.
And the mighty helpful King Campbell Miner Gen.
(23:18):
So that was it and it was like you need to get off the trucks
because the bucket was full. My traumatic bucket was full.
So I called a mate of mine who was running the officers at the
training college because his brother was one of the he was
there as well. They're both superintendents and
really good mates of mine. So I called Rick and I said,
listen, Gray is his brother. I said he's advertised for this
(23:38):
job at the college you reckon I'd be good at.
He goes, you'd be perfect mate, you're organised things you'd
and he said, but why don't you apply for one of the instructors
jobs? I said, where was that now in
the fire brigade every week theyput out in orders, which is like
a weekly report of what's going on in the job and, and advertise
jobs in there for, for within the fire brigade.
And I said, he said it was in, in orders.
(24:00):
I said, mate, I'll look for the terminations and my name's not
there. Just run back on the table.
He's gone. Nothing's changed with you.
And I said what? And he, it was him he was
advertising them. So he goes, I still need people
so and so I put in the application which was pretty
much. It's yours.
What are you doing as an instructor?
(24:21):
Teaching New. Firies.
Oh wow, so oh, you'd love. That I did mate.
I absolutely love that Rabs whenI was up here for 10 years.
So I was, I went from Newtown toyour minor.
Now anyone that's recovered fromany sort of addiction, that's
like going from heroin to smarties overnight, right?
It's like going full on fires trains just and Newtown's a
(24:44):
great area. I love Newtown to going to
basically sitting around waitingfor a fire.
And when you do go to it again, you usually know the people you
know, especially around here, like you know, everyone knows
each. Even the fire is cops and ambos.
We all got to know each other really, really well.
It was just going from flat out to waiting for a call.
(25:06):
Where? Where?
When you're at Newtown, like oneevery now and then at Newtown,
you'd wake up in the morning andgo, Jesus, did I miss the bells?
Did I sleep right through because nothing happened?
Very rare. Yeah, very rare anywhere.
Anywhere around that inner city area, if you.
Wake up of your own volition. You just go, Oh God, what
happened? How did I get here?
(25:27):
Why did I miss a call? Why?
Why am I just waking up like a normal human?
Oh, something's not right. You get up, you're looking at
each other down. Did we turn out last night?
No. Thank God you didn't miss it.
But were you seeing someone for PTSD before EU minor crash?
Yeah, it was. Yeah, it's that timeline.
You, you came up here to be doing that big, right?
(25:48):
So I was diagnosed in 2003 because my GP said to me, he's
AGP, I've had, we've had him forever, every king Comer,
absolute great bloke. And he said to me mate, I'm
pretty sure you've probably got some kind of PTSD.
And I'm like. Mate, no.
What's he basing that on? Just on because he'd speak spoke
to Kathy, you know, reactions that that from Kathy things that
(26:10):
I was telling him symptoms ragesbecause I I think I went to talk
to him about my road rage because I was getting road rage,
horrendous road rage. So someone would pull across in
front of me or do something stupid and I would go nuts.
But you're coming at that road rage from a different
perspective. Yes, you're coming at that
going. I've seen what you just did.
I've seen what it can cause. Mate, exactly what it that's
(26:33):
exactly what it was. I've seen what your stupidity
can result in. Yeah, I was driving home
yesterday at the F3. Now I'm old.
For those people, that's the M1.When you learn to drive a truck
on the fire brigade, it's not about the car in front of you.
You're looking for cars in frontof you.
Yep, and that's how I still drive and I'm coming down
towards the Hawkesbury and I cansee this imbecile in and out,
like he's probably 200 metres ahead of me and I'm watching all
(26:55):
the cars in front of me. And he said it, yeah.
And jeez mate, just let me get past you.
I don't, I don't want to be behind you.
Yeah, I I get that sometimes as well.
Or someone tailgating or whatever.
I'll just pull over and just, I'll even pull off the road and
just let him go, 'cause I'm like, I don't like what you're
doing to me. Yes, like how, how it's
(27:16):
affecting me. I'm getting all worked up here.
You know what, If I just pull over and let you go, you're not
my problem anymore. Yeah, it's that tightness in the
chest. Yeah.
Yeah, you should have been the fiery reps.
Yeah, it was on the list. Policeman was on the list.
Jet fighter jet. Yeah, that was that was on the
list as well. Mom was, Mom was jet pilot.
(27:37):
Yeah. Fiery Army or Wallaby?
But then I never got. There.
I mine was radio, Yeah. Personal trainer, police
officer. They were my main three.
I did two of them, Yeah. So, and then, you know, I I went
to ATC, the Air Training Corps, too.
So did you. Wasn't it was a kid so.
Funny, yeah, same as a kid and like 2 weeks of of Wednesday
(27:59):
nights or whatever it was turning up and yeah, folding the
flag and marching around or overthere in New Zealand.
Yeah, this was Wednesday night. I was at City Rd.
Alexander City Rd. Well, we were in Sydney
University and Reserve Regiment building.
Yeah, no, I got my uniform, mil hat and everything.
Had to everybody. Shoes shined up and all that.
And yeah, two weeks of that and I went.
(28:19):
When am I flying jets? Yeah.
Don't understand. This is boring.
And I dropped out. I don't.
Want to get in that Skyhawk? Today.
Yeah, yeah, let's, I mean, let'sjust start the path at least.
Oh, you went further than two weeks?
Yeah, yeah, I said I was. I became a corporal, which is
you really. Yeah, I was in for about 4-4 or
(28:42):
five years. As a corporal in the.
In the Army Air Training Corps, No.
Then also then I went from thereto the Army.
I went from the Air Force cadetsto I went from flying around in
planes to walking everywhere. Let.
Me just describe the 2. Of them.
Just broke it down. So what's the difference
between? One you fly, the other one you
(29:04):
walk. And the other one, you go on
boats. Yeah, that's.
All Menice. Menice came in when she was
about 17. She's half Kiwi, by the way.
And now we're going to The Crusaders game next Friday
night. I'm in Sydney.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crusaders are playing.
Task Waratahs. Yeah, no, I won't go to that.
I, I have PTSD from 2014. No, I'm scared.
(29:26):
I am honestly. I am my, my daughter and I,
yeah, we love The Crusaders. We watch all Crusaders games
together. We just went over at the start
of this year. So for my birthday in the last
year, my wife got me a present. It was a couple of tickets,
couple of $12.00 tickets to a game, Crusaders versus Auckland
Blues. But it's a preseason game and
(29:48):
it's played on this tiny little club rugby field.
Yes, but you know, and it's likeright before the season starts.
So all the all the players are there, all the big players.
She's like, so you know, here's your tickets, you just got to
get yourself there. And so we did a daddy daughter
trip, My daughter, my 15 year old daughter and I, we flew over
to Christchurch. We went out to this rugby club
ground. We met Cody Taylor and oh,
(30:11):
there's so many of the All Blacks that we met.
Yeah. Why were you saying about going
down to The Crusaders? Yeah, my niece, she said to me,
Uncle Bill, I'm I want to join the Army.
She was 17. No, no, you don't.
She goes. But yeah, I said yeah, I know.
And I said that's why I'm telling you Air Force or Navy,
she's like, oh, but I said do you want to walk everywhere or
(30:32):
do you want to fly and cruise everywhere?
She's like, oh, she wanted to shoot guns.
So she's a bosons mate, which they defend the ship.
Oh wow, yeah, yeah. So she's been in 12 years now.
She was on the HMAS Canberra. She's a Petty Officer now
staying in, loves it. Loves this.
Yeah, and it's funny because I now volunteer with a mob more
disaster relative Australia, which is it was started by Jeff
(30:55):
Evans, who's an ex fiery and ex commando and it's him and a
couple other boys started in Australia and it's ex veterans
that go around and help people clean up their when there's a
storm. We we're we're under the Gold
Coast. I went to Hawk's Bay.
Hawk's Bay was one of the most heart filling times I've ever
had in my life. Going to Hawks by and helping
the Kiwis. What you go and clean up after
disaster? Thanks.
(31:16):
So is this a paid thing? Not voluntary, They said to me,
call me. So mate, you want to go to New
Zealand? We're sending people over the
cleanup. I mean, and I became an ANZAC.
That's when I felt like an Anzacbecause I actually did stuff
with Kiwis. I think there are so many things
that people do voluntarily that others just don't realize.
I went into radio station Coast FM here this morning.
(31:38):
I mentioned you on on the radio this morning as well.
And when I was in there, I, one of the guy that was on air with
Wayne C, he was saying how the weekend before, he did the
bricky thing on the Sunday morning, then it was at this
thing all day, this broadcast thing, and then packed it down
at like 9:00 at night or whatever.
Yeah. And then I went, this is all
voluntary, isn't it? But you don't get paid.
No, don't get paid for it. It's amazing.
(32:02):
You know what it it a mate of mine, there's 22 really good
mates, my Mark Ryan and Chris Perry, newer firies who massive
supporters as I as I was going out of the job and they were
doing it and they're out of the job now as well.
But they were doing this stuff with desire.
They were still on the fire brigade but doing it and and
Mark Riley, whose nickname's Pac-Man, he said, mate, perfect
(32:22):
fit for you, ex Army X4, you will fit like a finger in a
glove. I said, all right, well, but I
walked into the Ford operations base in Korakai and I had a New
York Yankees hat on and I walkedin and there was a bloke sitting
at the operations table typing away that stuff because they're
planning on we're going to cleanthis house and that house and
this school and that school. And he looks up and he goes,
(32:42):
what a shit hat. And I looked around and went,
who do you go for? He said, I go for the Padre said
they've won shit in 30 years. And it was on the band.
It was just like walking into a mess room.
Yeah, either a mess room in the fire beard or a mess room in the
army and we were getting stuck in and everyone's laughing their
ass off. I'd never met this bloke in my
life. Yeah.
Now he's one of my great mates. So it was a perfect fit and and
(33:02):
it just feels good to help people with with, you know,
with. And you don't want anything for
it, you know. And I got other mates at the
forest gun. I wouldn't do it if I didn't get
paid. So there's a difference between
you and me mate. Honestly, though, that's the one
difference between you and I spotted through this whole
thing. I, I look at people like you and
Wayne at the radio station, you know, like all that voluntary
(33:25):
stuff. And if I'm being honest, I don't
think I have that in me. Yeah.
But, you know, I, I, I, I absolutely admire and I, but I
can't get my head around people that do that.
Maybe because I have to wear thedifferent chapters of my life.
Maybe I'll get to that at some point where I'll just go, I
don't know. I just want to give back.
(33:48):
Well, you do. You give them back whether you
like it or not. As I said, yeah.
Yeah, so, but I like to be paid.Yeah.
So I, yeah, I think it's a completely different mindset.
Yeah. Someone who just wants to go out
and help the animal, give their time and that, and I don't know,
I feel like that's either in youor it's not.
I pretty much enjoy it. It's funny because that disaster
(34:10):
leaves. Try every night we do the Ode,
same as the Anzac ode. Every night we do it, we lower
the flag, do the ode, put the flag back up, and then the beer
flag goes up. Yeah, yeah.
There's a real camaraderie kind of 100%.
That's a big part of it as well as yes.
There is one of the guys who's aVietnam, but he says, I mean,
mate, can you do the ode tonight?
(34:31):
I went absolutely. I said do you mind if I have a
chat before it? He said no, go ahead.
And the chat is I'm the great grandson of a Posiere survivor.
I'm the grandson of a Ratatur Brooke.
I'm the nephew of a Vietnam veteran and I'm the uncle of a
current serving Navy veteran andI'm ex Army as well.
Did that, did the ode afterwardsmade-up the the couple of the
(34:52):
guys come up and said it's just in your DNA, in it?
Absolutely. It is.
It really is. Yeah.
That has shaped you. That's it.
And and well, my uncle who, my grandfather's, you know, my
mum's brother, He, he was in thearmy as well.
But he's, he's the best story. He joined the army and they
went. Are you a boxer?
Yeah. So he fought for two years as a
boxer. That's what he did in his two
years, like 58 to 60 in his national service.
(35:14):
He fought for two years. He boxed in the Army.
That's all he did. He loved that.
That's awesome. It's like me going to Malaya and
yeah, so. So he joined the fire brigade.
He was a he came out of the Army.
He finished his apprenticeship as a Carpenter, he said.
He said he's done. How did you on the fire?
We go for six months as a break from being a Carpenter. 40 years
later, he retired. Yeah.
(35:36):
So I called him into being of service.
Yeah, to people. Well, people say you've got to
finish your uniforms. I go.
Of course I have. Get discounts somewhere, Yeah.
In some places, yeah. Yeah, but so she joined.
She loves it. She loves.
It that's great. And it's funny, I and she loves
it when we say this. Anyone that's in the Army or the
Navy loves it when we say the Army sleep under the stars, the
(35:57):
Navy navigate by the stars and the Air Force won't sleep in
anything less than five star. Love that.
And you say to an Air Force plate and they just nod.
You're just not. Yeah, it is what it is, right?
That's why I wanted to get into that.
Oh, that's yeah, Yeah, man. Well, listen, you and I could
talk forever. I do need to because I've got
another guest to jump in. I can come back.
(36:19):
He got into. I would actually love that.
Yeah. I want to know more about the,
you know, the PTSD and the counseling and the OR therapy
and all the things you're working through with that 'cause
I think that stuff can, can helpother people.
I know you've got more stories. Yeah.
Sung on stage with Jimmy Barnes.Well, yeah, I've seen the video
of you singing on stage with Jimmy Barnes.
We've got to that. You know, the sad thing is Jimmy
(36:41):
hasn't stopped telling people about it.
Oh. I know.
Yeah. Yeah, He reached out to me.
I know, I understand. He's gone, mate.
I got him. Your start, little young kid
from Glasgow. Get on him.
He's gone well now. He has, yeah.
Yeah. And I said I'm talking to Billy
Mack and he's like. Mate, he is actually a champion
bloke. He he is as you see him, yeah,
you know, it's there's no pretence about him at all.
(37:02):
We'll. Get into that next time.
But yeah, you are absolutely jumping back in the van.
Yeah mate, I'm, I'm in, I'm keenas.
Much thank you so much pleasure.You know, there's days where I
had one the other day with Juliewhere I was walking up the
driveway. We generally record outside my
house and I was walking up the driveway and I was feeling like
I didn't have anything prepared to chat about.
And she actually afterwards saidto me as well that she felt the
(37:24):
exact same way as she was driving around this, like, oh
God, I haven't even really thought about anything.
We had I think the funniest episode we've ever done.
It's such a laugh. And afterwards I said to her, I
really needed that, you know? Mate, I'm telling you right now
and I'm getting emotionally you asshole.
My heart is filled right now. It feels great.
Sit near chatting and and it's it's just a couple of mates
(37:45):
chatting. Yeah.
So yeah. And I've I've loved it and I'm
more than happy to come back. Thank you and I will get the.
Oh, you don't drink coffee? No, that's right.
That's a bit weird. No.
Yeah. We'll get into that next time,
do that.
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