September 25, 2025 • 22 mins
About a year ago, I pulled into the Triple M carpark with the Podvan (which was a WEIRD moment - after years of driving past it every weekday on my way to a competing breakfast radio show!) and I had a great chat with Maz Compton.
Maz does the show with Paddy Gerrard and we go waaaaaay back! In fact, she said that I was the first person to ever put her on air!
We went to all sorts of places - including this bit, where Maz talked about quitting drinking, and getting her endometriosis diagnosis.
If you enjoy it - and want to hear the full episode, just scroll back and look for Ep 48!
Thanks for listening! Have a great day!
🤗
Rabs
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Last time when we were talking, Paddy jumped into the van, yeah,
and the straight up just just took over.
Well, he does that, yeah. And he did bring the whole tone
of the chat. Down.
I feel like it was in a really classy place.
Yeah, it was. You know, and then just down in
the gutter. And I've never had this pod van
in a very classy place. And then and he, he sort of
(00:28):
reminded me of what it really is.
And then but something I did wanna get to talking to you
about is how you 'cause I as he drives off and he's full on.
Yeah, yeah. Is he like that all the time?
He is, yeah. He actually is.
So I would. But then look, I, I see him in
the morning, Yeah. And, and he is up and on.
(00:50):
He that he is who he is. Yeah.
And then I don't see him for therest of the day.
So I don't know. I find that when you know,
'cause when you do stuff like this, stuff like a radio show,
whatever you gotta be on, you know, you've got to be switched
on. Yeah.
And I find that afterwards I'm drained.
Yeah, it is draining. And I So for me, yeah.
But I I'm an introvert, Rabs. Yeah.
(01:14):
That. Well, maybe you figured.
I didn't realise that I was an introvert until I quit drinking.
Boy, I was an extrovert. I was drinking.
Yeah. And I, I had all this like all,
I don't want to say social anxiety, but I would get very
anxious and not want to go to things.
And when I was doing, you know, like the big radio shows that I
was doing, there was a lot of rooms that I had to be in.
(01:36):
And I so I drink alcohol to likejust get over that nervousness
and then yeah, that. Became like during the day
before doing things I. Would usually have not maybe in
the day so much, but before events.
I would definitely need to go inlike not 100% sober.
Yeah. And then I then you would just
carry on. And it just got to a point where
it wasn't really working, working out in my favour.
So I stopped drinking for a while.
(01:57):
And in that first year of not drinking, I realised like I am a
full blown introvert with a veryextroverted personality.
And I've chosen a career where Ithought I was an extrovert and
that's why I've done well. But that's not the case.
So I never during those years actually had time to reset and
recharge because I was always onthe go.
So now, yeah, I'm mentally drained at 9 when I finish the
(02:20):
show, our meetings or whatever. But then I've set my life up to
be very perverted, yes. I don't go out and socialise
with bunches of people that I don't want to.
I go to the things I'm happy, saying no to stuff no.
I've gotten to that point, yeah.And it's a really freeing thing,
but it took me a, it's taken me a long while to be very
comfortable actually doing that.And it's not that I never go out
any anytime, anywhere, but I just choose the people that I'm
(02:44):
around. It's usually one or two other
people. Like when I had Henry, I didn't
join a mother's group. And the midwives were like at
the hospital, like, are you going to join the mother's
group? I'm like no, because they are
going to cause me and. So much anxiety so.
Like, yeah, I know myself so well that that will piss me off
so much. Yeah, my motherhood journey.
So I just, I know, I know how toput down a boundary and I've got
(03:06):
a couple of good mates I can do one-on-one little play dates
with. And that that worked for me.
So it's kind of just, I think inthis season of life anyway,
about knowing yourself and not burning yourself out and trying
to be everything to everyone. I'm like, I don't.
I can't be everything to everyone.
I think people are getting to know themselves earlier now,
yeah, because it's being spoken about so much and and that we
(03:29):
because I don't think it's just you get to this point in your
life and you go, ah, this is actually me.
I think people are starting to recognise that earlier in their
in their yeah, twenties, 30s where?
Revelation right, you're constantly going you can't well,
I am on the pursuit of just improvement and, you know,
betterment and trying to be a better mum and not to the but
not with busyness that I think'sthe difference with me.
(03:51):
So I'm not trying to like be busy for every thing in
everyone. I'm just trying to be wholesome
and true to make myself the bestwife, the best mum, the best Co
host, the best podcast guest. Like that's where I try and show
up. I can only do that if I've
gotten to bed on time, if I've had my hot water bottle yeah on
on my lower back, you know, if I'm rested and relaxed and and
(04:13):
ready to go. And so being away from people is
how I actually do that, not being.
Recharging. Yeah, that's how you recharge.
Yeah, I think that's the thing. I wonder if you're like what's
described as an an extroverted introvert or an introverted
extrovert. I don't know which way.
I think that's me. Yeah, that's me as well.
Like I can seem like, well, you turn up to something like I say,
you've got to be on. Yeah, it's kind of your job,
(04:35):
but. It's a bit of a show.
It is I I find it, you know, same with you.
It's very natural. You just, I know it's almost
like there's two parts to you because when you talking about
the drinking thing, you talk about that just straight up
openly now, don't you? Yeah, yeah.
I mean, you have a book podcast.I do.
(04:56):
Are you still doing your podcast?
No, actually, it's funny you should ask.
I've act. That was one of the things I
pushed pause on this year. Yeah.
Just to give me a bit of my own time back because as you know,
podcasting takes up a lot of time.
Oh, my God. And as I loved doing, I did 100
episodes I'm really proud of. And hundreds.
Yeah, I did it over. Yeah.
I did weekly episodes for nearly.
(05:18):
Yeah, two years. That's right. 52 weeks.
Yeah, 100 episodes. And I know for a fact that it
helped people. Yeah, it helped people with
their relationship with alcohol.I've had amazing messages from
people during that period of time.
But at the beginning of this year, I was like, you know what
I need to do? I need to be, I need to have a
(05:38):
bit more balance. And I'm giving, and it's great
to give, but I actually need to give to me.
And I've had a few health go on.So I was like, I'm actually,
that's the boundary, the hard boundary that I'm putting down.
I'm not going to do a podcast this year.
So I've got time for me to invest in myself, my mental
health, my well-being. And it was, that was a really
hard decision. Oh yeah.
(05:59):
I love this thing that brings joy to people and brings joy to
me. But I had to just kind of put it
to rest in order. If I'm not good, then nothing's
going to be good in my world, right?
So I had to make sure that I wasgood.
So, but the sobriety thing, it'll be 10 years on the 1st of
January 2025 that I have not hadan alcoholic beverage.
Wow. Yeah, so it's taken me.
God, you'll have a drink on thatday.
(06:20):
Do. You know, it's funny, like, I do
get asked that a lot when peoplesay, oh, my God, you don't
drink. Like, are you ever going to
drink again? And in the first few years,
yeah, I would kind of just say, oh, I don't know.
No, like I'm getting comfortablewith my relationship with
alcohol at the moment. I'm not drinking.
Maybe I will have a champagne one day and be cool with it.
Yeah, I can absolutely tell you now I'll never drink an
(06:42):
alcoholic drink ever again. Because you know what it leads
to. Absolutely, yeah.
And do you. I'm so sold on my sobriety,
right? Like what I have in life right
now. I would never give up or gamble
on one little moment. Yep, an alcoholic beverage cause
for me now it serves as zero purpose do.
You listen to Armchair Expert. I do without.
(07:02):
Shepherd Dax. Yeah.
And it's a, you hear? I mean, he talks about it all
the time and that, but he knows that.
Yeah. If he has one drink.
Yeah. It's not that one drink.
No, you drink. It's where it all goes from
there, you know? You know what's going to happen.
Yeah. At that point, I haven't had a
drink in probably about seven years.
Yeah, well. Yeah, I didn't.
Know that? No.
No. Mine's from a different thing.
(07:24):
So for starters, I I'm quite thecontrol freak and OK, so two
things with it a real lightweight and I would I'd just
throw up. I yeah.
And I really didn't enjoy that and massive hangover feel gross
the next day and I just I just don't enjoy that.
But yeah, I hit it hard early inlife and teenager and in into
(07:47):
20s. And then I got I got pretty good
with I didn't, I wouldn't drink at home.
Only if I was going out to something would I, would I have
any drinks. So I never really like enjoyed
it, enjoyed it like I didn't. Yeah, that was sort of where I
would just do it because I was out somewhere and everyone else
was and at an event. But then when I got on my meds
(08:11):
for anxiety, that was oh. God, yeah.
No, you can't do that. Seven years ago and funny thing
is right. So I go.
I find out what he's prescribed for me, the doctor, and then I
research the living daylights out of it and learn everything I
possibly can about that. Control freak, Yeah.
And, and part of the anxiety as well, but what if, but what if I
do have like what if I, what if I'd have one beer if I went out
(08:32):
to a thing or something? And it's straight up says in
mine that alcohol mixed with my medication can cause suicidal
tendencies. OK, Well then you're just not
going to do that well. And it's been 7 years since I've
had not even a sip. Yeah, nothing I don't want.
And I and I get it. I get how that could get to
that. Yeah, it's interesting you say
(08:53):
like for your experience with alcohol, like you never really
enjoyed it. I don't think many people
actually enjoy drinking. I think they think they enjoy
drinking. But when you, when you really,
when, when you peel back the layers of what drinking really
does, most of the time it's all,it all kind of starts around a
bit of peer pressure. Oh, you're having a drink.
(09:13):
Oh, you better have a drink. So you actually kind of don't
want to in the 1st place, but you feel like you need to.
If you're in a bar situation, you basically just stand around
talking in a very, very loud environment until you've had
that many drinks where all the stories are getting fluid and
silly and then you don't remember them the next day.
So it's not connection, it's disconnection, and then you wake
(09:34):
up feeling sick. I don't actually think most
people enjoy drinking, but it's a pain masker.
Oh. It is.
It's an escape thing as well. Right.
Yeah. That's why you would put up
with, like I put up with so manyhangovers, masking so much pain
from my past that I wasn't willing to to face in my life
until I was willing to face it. Yeah.
(09:54):
Because it can just make those things kind of go away, right?
It does because it stops your brain working properly.
So you say you know you get a bit forgetful when you drink.
It was because your brain, brainchemistry's literally changed
from alcohol in your bloodstream.
And so when your brains aren't working properly, that's when we
do forget about things. We don't remember that there's
trauma and pain and bits and pieces going on, or a breakup or
(10:15):
a job promotion that you didn't get.
Or sometimes people didn't have all of those painful feelings
around really good things because they don't feel like
they deserve goodness. You know, it's so complex.
Yeah, yeah. And if you can take that part
out of it, I mean, it's harder. It is definitely harder.
I would think if you if you werea person who drinks every night,
(10:36):
just one or two to take the edgeoff kind of thing and calm
yourself down. Have it to break, yeah, yeah,
because for. Starters, you probably don't
think you have a problem at all.Totally.
And maybe you don't. Well, that and that's where the
language around drinking. So when I was, I have written a
book about all of this and I dida lot of study and research to
try and make sure that my book was also not just my story.
Like, look at me, I'm sober and my life's fabulous now.
(10:56):
Yeah. But also you know which.
Was the title of the book, whichwas a strange decision.
Bit self indulgent. What is the name of the book?
For those who want to check it out now it's.
Called Last Drinks. Yeah, yeah.
So I did, yeah. Some research just so that I
came. I wanted it to be science based,
so because I love facts. So I did, yeah.
A bit of a nerd over here did a lot of research and I just
(11:19):
landed on some really interesting stuff about alcohol,
what it does, why we do it, why it's so hard to give up.
And one of the things was for me, I remember getting to a
point in 2014 where my life was really great on paper.
I had a national drive show, I had tons of money.
I was living in a cool apartmentin Melbourne.
I had designers wanting to dressme, like really living the
(11:42):
dream, interviewing celebrities everyday, sharing an office with
Hamish and Andy. Like I had a great life but I
was drinking everyday and not tothe point where I would be like
stumbling out of bars, but I wasdrinking alcohol every day and I
I went. Home or when out?
At home in the afternoon out, when I got back from from being
(12:04):
out, I would still sort of top up and I realised there was a,
an issue, but I didn't, I couldn't put like a label on it.
So I actually googled, am I an alcoholic?
Oh wow. So then I read like the a, a
manifesto and I got so annoyed because I wasn't an alcoholic.
I was like, that's actually not me.
I'm not that, but I'm not sober and I'm not having a great time
(12:27):
and I don't know what to do about this.
So what am I like that? So I wrote the book from that
place where I kind of wish I hadmy book then, because that would
have. You talk about it like as your
relationship with alcohol. Yeah, right.
Yes, you may not be classed as an alcoholic under what AA says,
yeah. Exactly.
(12:48):
Yeah. So, So what, what I kind of from
there, then I did a bit of a fewhard looks in the mirror and
this this was I think this was avery clever idea that I came up
with is I thought I started thinking about like the things
that we just mentioned. Like when you drink, you usually
force a little bit into it. You don't usually don't know
when to stop or you have too many.
(13:09):
You spend way too much time out.You end up, you know, spending
too much money. You feel like crap the next day.
And I thought to myself, if thatwas a person.
So if I was telling you rabbit, I'm hanging out with this chick,
her name's Brooke. But every time we hang out, I
end up feeling like crap. I lose I lose pockets of my
memory. I stay out too late.
I act really silly. I do dumb things.
(13:30):
I you would go. Do you need to stay away from
her? Exactly.
Yeah, and that. She's not good for you.
Yeah, she's toxic. And you need to have a break
from Brooke because Brooke is doing you no favours.
And that's, that's how I assess my relationship with alcohols.
Like this isn't good for me. So I need to have a break.
So that's right. That's January 1, 2015.
I had a break with the intentionof it just being a break to
(13:53):
assess life without a hangover for the first time in probably
my adult life. Yeah, for an extended period of
time. And then after a month, 2346,
like it just, you know, kept going.
I didn't do the, I'm never drinking again.
Like I didn't put all this pressure on myself to be sober.
I just created a really cool life in sobriety that now I
(14:16):
would just never gamble on anything.
You've got to the point now where it's just a it's just a
non starter. Like it just wouldn't happen.
Not gonna happen. I don't even.
Think there's nothing that couldget you?
There's nothing. Yeah.
Yeah, I get that. Yeah.
And what you said before about your health stuff, do you talk
about that? Yeah.
Yeah. And what you with a
endometriosis? Endometriosis.
Yeah, not a fun diagnosis. Do you know what endometriosis
(14:39):
is? Absolutely zero, yeah.
I've had a uterus, so why would you know?
Did I? Was mine removed?
Was. I don't know if I have tonsils
either. Definitely, as a man would never
have had a. Uterus.
Good to know, I wanna ask my doctor to check it next time.
If you ask your doctor to check your uterus, she might send you
to a different doctor. Let's go back to the fun times
(14:59):
of radio. That's totally something I would
have done. I would have miked myself up.
I'm gonna go to the doctor and ask them to check my uterus.
And then you record all of that and be absolutely convinced that
yes, I've got a uterus. Find it.
You don't have a uterus. Drop my stride?
No. I've got a don't go.
But I have had some women rape chat to me, very early days of
(15:20):
the podcast, and I think it was Endo awareness month or
something like that. And they said, oh, God, you
should talk to women who've beenthrough this, go through this
and everything. And I went, I don't know what
that is. I don't have a uterus.
Yeah. But it has told me.
Scary. Yeah.
It's scary for men. I think to, you know, we, we've
got a lot of stuff going on in our bodies because of these
(15:41):
uteruses that we have. They give us children if, you
know, if we're lucky enough, yeah.
But also give us a lot of pain and a lot of problems on a
monthly basis. And so endometriosis is it's a
disease. It's not, you know, I'm not
gonna sugarcoat it is a disease.There is no cure.
And they we also don't know whatcauses it.
So it's really. One of those ones.
One of those ones, yeah. And women get, you can have an
(16:03):
endodiagnosis, you know, in yourearly 20s.
And I'm in my early 40s and I only just got diagnosed.
And the symptoms are, there are like 8 sort of really common
symptoms. And then there are some
underlying symptoms as well. And so it's really hard to get a
diagnosis because you could maybe just have like a really
achy period every month. That doesn't mean you have endo,
(16:24):
but you might have all of these other signs as well.
So it is inflammation in your uterus, which basically it can
cause fertility problems. It can be so debilitating, the
pain that you cannot go to work.So then you have loss of income.
It can affect your mental healthbecause one of my symptoms was I
in the late afternoons only mostrecently where it kind of flared
(16:46):
up, right? I honestly, if you looked at me
at 6:00 PM, you would absolutelysay when are you having a baby?
Because the swelling in my body was so intense.
So I was wearing baggy clothes and not really leaving the
house. It was absolutely outrageous
that. So that's bloating was one of my
major, major symptoms. And so that was because I had
(17:07):
those symptoms. I was already on.
For me, this is how it all came up anyway.
Glenn and I, we have a wonderfulson, Henry, who's 5, but we've
been trying to have another babyfor four years, right.
We've had two miscarriages and they're heart breaking.
Yeah. And then we did IVF and it
failed. And at some point you just go,
maybe I'm not supposed to be a mum to another kid.
That's a tough thing to. And so that's not easy to
(17:31):
navigate in life. Plus show up to work every day
and do a radio show and do all of the things you know the.
Question around that then is do you does is it something you
talk about at the time when you're going through it like do
other people know no, This is why you're wearing your baggy
clothes. This is why you're.
No, no, no, no, no. Well, and I didn't know that it
(17:52):
was endometriosis at the time, right?
So I had so we have this long four year fertility journey,
which has been heartbreaking andreally hard.
And it was almost a last ditch effort after the IVF failed.
And we I said we've had the two miscarriages.
You just go, what are we, you know, how do we navigate this?
And I found this amazing fertility Dr. And we, I just
(18:15):
started having her assess me andmy body and we have blood tests.
So we got biomarkers and then she's amazing.
She's a scientist. So she's got this scientific
background and she's got a, she has a masters in women's
reproductive health. So she knows all about the
uterus. Yeah.
And so she was like, this is what's going on in your body.
And it was the first time anyonehad ever had that conversation
(18:36):
with me. And I've been in and out of
doctor's office, in and out of IVF, in and out of hospital.
And it's the first time she said, this is what's going on in
your body. And I, for the first time,
didn't feel like I was just somerandom patient in line.
I feel like a person. And from there, we did all of
these tests. And she's like, I'm pretty sure
you've got endo. And she sent me to a top endo
(18:56):
document in Sydney who gave me the diagnosis.
And then they really can't 100% qualify if it is endo until you
have surgery basically. Wow.
So I had to have a laparoscopy where they take out all the
inflamed tissue that is endometriosis.
And the stage of the endo 123 or4 is dependent on how deep they
(19:19):
have to cut into your in and around your ovaries and all of
your bits. Yes, to get it all out.
And I was at a stage 3. And so then you go, no wonder we
had a couple of miscarriages andyou haven't been able to fall
pregnant for four years. And I've had all all of this
hectic swelling in my body because my body's been fighting
a disease I didn't know that I had all this time.
Oh my gosh. So you just the day I got the
(19:40):
diagnosis was bittersweet. So I was like, thank God, I can
say what it is. I'm like, it is endometriosis.
And that felt like a relief, like I'm not going crazy.
But then it was also like, oh, but I've got endometriosis.
Yeah. And that sucks.
But then do you know, so I know you just recently had surgery.
Yeah, only four weeks ago. Or was that the one you talking
about? The Laparos?
Yeah. Me roscopy it.
(20:00):
Sounds like a ice hockey player.Laparoscopy.
I don't. Know and ohh, so that's the that
only happened just recently. That was that was the four.
Weeks. I only got the diagnosis this
year, right? Yeah.
So it's all very, very new. OK, so then what happens from
there then when they know that are you, are you fixed now?
No, no one can fix me rabbit. Do you know what?
(20:22):
I I can't tell you the number ofeyes that just rolled as I said
that? Yes.
Are you? Are you?
Going to be a problem anymore? Well.
This is the thing I yes, I know absolutely nothing about it.
I don't know whether once they've done that thing where
they scrape. It's really.
Hectic, all of that stuff, Is itgone?
So, yes, so currently in my body, the endometriosis, there
(20:43):
is no tissue that is endometriosis, yeah, But it will
come back because once you have it, you kind of you get rid of
it through the surgery. And there's no other way to
really get rid of it that I'm aware of.
That's why we need to try and find a cure.
Well. That'll come right eventually
with science for for one thing, there'll be some sort of test
that you can quickly take that. And that's what's important too,
(21:04):
is it's that we need to find a way to get women diagnosed
sooner than, you know, four years of a fertility struggle.
And that's just my story. And it's not even one of the
worst ones. Oh, yeah.
There are women that have been through utter hell.
And sometimes it can get to a point where, you know, even
later in life, they're like, well, maybe a hysterectomy is
the way to go where they just take it out, take a uterus out
(21:24):
because it's too much of an issue.
But you don't want to have that when you're in your late 20s,
early 30s and you, you love the idea of having a family one day,
right? So it's been that has been a
really unexpected turn in my journey.
And again, one of the reasons why I stopped doing the podcast
was because that's when I got this diagnosis and I was like, I
just need to stop doing other stuff and I need to just get
(21:46):
better. Alright, that'll do us for this
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The job but then quick fix with rabbit.
Last time when we were talking, Paddy jumped into the van, yeah,
and the straight up just just took over.
Well, he does that, yeah. And he did bring the whole tone
of the chat. Down.
I feel like it was in a really classy place.
Yeah, it was. You know, and then just down in
the gutter. And I've never had this pod van
in a very classy place. And then and he, he sort of
(00:28):
reminded me of what it really is.
And then but something I did wanna get to talking to you
about is how you 'cause I as he drives off and he's full on.
Yeah, yeah. Is he like that all the time?
He is, yeah. He actually is.
So I would. But then look, I, I see him in
the morning, Yeah. And, and he is up and on.
(00:50):
He that he is who he is. Yeah.
And then I don't see him for therest of the day.
So I don't know. I find that when you know,
'cause when you do stuff like this, stuff like a radio show,
whatever you gotta be on, you know, you've got to be switched
on. Yeah.
And I find that afterwards I'm drained.
Yeah, it is draining. And I So for me, yeah.
But I I'm an introvert, Rabs. Yeah.
(01:14):
That. Well, maybe you figured.
I didn't realise that I was an introvert until I quit drinking.
Boy, I was an extrovert. I was drinking.
Yeah. And I, I had all this like all,
I don't want to say social anxiety, but I would get very
anxious and not want to go to things.
And when I was doing, you know, like the big radio shows that I
was doing, there was a lot of rooms that I had to be in.
(01:36):
And I so I drink alcohol to likejust get over that nervousness
and then yeah, that. Became like during the day
before doing things I. Would usually have not maybe in
the day so much, but before events.
I would definitely need to go inlike not 100% sober.
Yeah. And then I then you would just
carry on. And it just got to a point where
it wasn't really working, working out in my favour.
So I stopped drinking for a while.
(01:57):
And in that first year of not drinking, I realised like I am a
full blown introvert with a veryextroverted personality.
And I've chosen a career where Ithought I was an extrovert and
that's why I've done well. But that's not the case.
So I never during those years actually had time to reset and
recharge because I was always onthe go.
So now, yeah, I'm mentally drained at 9 when I finish the
(02:20):
show, our meetings or whatever. But then I've set my life up to
be very perverted, yes. I don't go out and socialise
with bunches of people that I don't want to.
I go to the things I'm happy, saying no to stuff no.
I've gotten to that point, yeah.And it's a really freeing thing,
but it took me a, it's taken me a long while to be very
comfortable actually doing that.And it's not that I never go out
any anytime, anywhere, but I just choose the people that I'm
(02:44):
around. It's usually one or two other
people. Like when I had Henry, I didn't
join a mother's group. And the midwives were like at
the hospital, like, are you going to join the mother's
group? I'm like no, because they are
going to cause me and. So much anxiety so.
Like, yeah, I know myself so well that that will piss me off
so much. Yeah, my motherhood journey.
So I just, I know, I know how toput down a boundary and I've got
(03:06):
a couple of good mates I can do one-on-one little play dates
with. And that that worked for me.
So it's kind of just, I think inthis season of life anyway,
about knowing yourself and not burning yourself out and trying
to be everything to everyone. I'm like, I don't.
I can't be everything to everyone.
I think people are getting to know themselves earlier now,
yeah, because it's being spoken about so much and and that we
(03:29):
because I don't think it's just you get to this point in your
life and you go, ah, this is actually me.
I think people are starting to recognise that earlier in their
in their yeah, twenties, 30s where?
Revelation right, you're constantly going you can't well,
I am on the pursuit of just improvement and, you know,
betterment and trying to be a better mum and not to the but
not with busyness that I think'sthe difference with me.
(03:51):
So I'm not trying to like be busy for every thing in
everyone. I'm just trying to be wholesome
and true to make myself the bestwife, the best mum, the best Co
host, the best podcast guest. Like that's where I try and show
up. I can only do that if I've
gotten to bed on time, if I've had my hot water bottle yeah on
on my lower back, you know, if I'm rested and relaxed and and
(04:13):
ready to go. And so being away from people is
how I actually do that, not being.
Recharging. Yeah, that's how you recharge.
Yeah, I think that's the thing. I wonder if you're like what's
described as an an extroverted introvert or an introverted
extrovert. I don't know which way.
I think that's me. Yeah, that's me as well.
Like I can seem like, well, you turn up to something like I say,
you've got to be on. Yeah, it's kind of your job,
(04:35):
but. It's a bit of a show.
It is I I find it, you know, same with you.
It's very natural. You just, I know it's almost
like there's two parts to you because when you talking about
the drinking thing, you talk about that just straight up
openly now, don't you? Yeah, yeah.
I mean, you have a book podcast.I do.
(04:56):
Are you still doing your podcast?
No, actually, it's funny you should ask.
I've act. That was one of the things I
pushed pause on this year. Yeah.
Just to give me a bit of my own time back because as you know,
podcasting takes up a lot of time.
Oh, my God. And as I loved doing, I did 100
episodes I'm really proud of. And hundreds.
Yeah, I did it over. Yeah.
I did weekly episodes for nearly.
(05:18):
Yeah, two years. That's right. 52 weeks.
Yeah, 100 episodes. And I know for a fact that it
helped people. Yeah, it helped people with
their relationship with alcohol.I've had amazing messages from
people during that period of time.
But at the beginning of this year, I was like, you know what
I need to do? I need to be, I need to have a
(05:38):
bit more balance. And I'm giving, and it's great
to give, but I actually need to give to me.
And I've had a few health go on.So I was like, I'm actually,
that's the boundary, the hard boundary that I'm putting down.
I'm not going to do a podcast this year.
So I've got time for me to invest in myself, my mental
health, my well-being. And it was, that was a really
hard decision. Oh yeah.
(05:59):
I love this thing that brings joy to people and brings joy to
me. But I had to just kind of put it
to rest in order. If I'm not good, then nothing's
going to be good in my world, right?
So I had to make sure that I wasgood.
So, but the sobriety thing, it'll be 10 years on the 1st of
January 2025 that I have not hadan alcoholic beverage.
Wow. Yeah, so it's taken me.
God, you'll have a drink on thatday.
(06:20):
Do. You know, it's funny, like, I do
get asked that a lot when peoplesay, oh, my God, you don't
drink. Like, are you ever going to
drink again? And in the first few years,
yeah, I would kind of just say, oh, I don't know.
No, like I'm getting comfortablewith my relationship with
alcohol at the moment. I'm not drinking.
Maybe I will have a champagne one day and be cool with it.
Yeah, I can absolutely tell you now I'll never drink an
(06:42):
alcoholic drink ever again. Because you know what it leads
to. Absolutely, yeah.
And do you. I'm so sold on my sobriety,
right? Like what I have in life right
now. I would never give up or gamble
on one little moment. Yep, an alcoholic beverage cause
for me now it serves as zero purpose do.
You listen to Armchair Expert. I do without.
(07:02):
Shepherd Dax. Yeah.
And it's a, you hear? I mean, he talks about it all
the time and that, but he knows that.
Yeah. If he has one drink.
Yeah. It's not that one drink.
No, you drink. It's where it all goes from
there, you know? You know what's going to happen.
Yeah. At that point, I haven't had a
drink in probably about seven years.
Yeah, well. Yeah, I didn't.
Know that? No.
No. Mine's from a different thing.
(07:24):
So for starters, I I'm quite thecontrol freak and OK, so two
things with it a real lightweight and I would I'd just
throw up. I yeah.
And I really didn't enjoy that and massive hangover feel gross
the next day and I just I just don't enjoy that.
But yeah, I hit it hard early inlife and teenager and in into
(07:47):
20s. And then I got I got pretty good
with I didn't, I wouldn't drink at home.
Only if I was going out to something would I, would I have
any drinks. So I never really like enjoyed
it, enjoyed it like I didn't. Yeah, that was sort of where I
would just do it because I was out somewhere and everyone else
was and at an event. But then when I got on my meds
(08:11):
for anxiety, that was oh. God, yeah.
No, you can't do that. Seven years ago and funny thing
is right. So I go.
I find out what he's prescribed for me, the doctor, and then I
research the living daylights out of it and learn everything I
possibly can about that. Control freak, Yeah.
And, and part of the anxiety as well, but what if, but what if I
do have like what if I, what if I'd have one beer if I went out
(08:32):
to a thing or something? And it's straight up says in
mine that alcohol mixed with my medication can cause suicidal
tendencies. OK, Well then you're just not
going to do that well. And it's been 7 years since I've
had not even a sip. Yeah, nothing I don't want.
And I and I get it. I get how that could get to
that. Yeah, it's interesting you say
(08:53):
like for your experience with alcohol, like you never really
enjoyed it. I don't think many people
actually enjoy drinking. I think they think they enjoy
drinking. But when you, when you really,
when, when you peel back the layers of what drinking really
does, most of the time it's all,it all kind of starts around a
bit of peer pressure. Oh, you're having a drink.
(09:13):
Oh, you better have a drink. So you actually kind of don't
want to in the 1st place, but you feel like you need to.
If you're in a bar situation, you basically just stand around
talking in a very, very loud environment until you've had
that many drinks where all the stories are getting fluid and
silly and then you don't remember them the next day.
So it's not connection, it's disconnection, and then you wake
(09:34):
up feeling sick. I don't actually think most
people enjoy drinking, but it's a pain masker.
Oh. It is.
It's an escape thing as well. Right.
Yeah. That's why you would put up
with, like I put up with so manyhangovers, masking so much pain
from my past that I wasn't willing to to face in my life
until I was willing to face it. Yeah.
(09:54):
Because it can just make those things kind of go away, right?
It does because it stops your brain working properly.
So you say you know you get a bit forgetful when you drink.
It was because your brain, brainchemistry's literally changed
from alcohol in your bloodstream.
And so when your brains aren't working properly, that's when we
do forget about things. We don't remember that there's
trauma and pain and bits and pieces going on, or a breakup or
(10:15):
a job promotion that you didn't get.
Or sometimes people didn't have all of those painful feelings
around really good things because they don't feel like
they deserve goodness. You know, it's so complex.
Yeah, yeah. And if you can take that part
out of it, I mean, it's harder. It is definitely harder.
I would think if you if you werea person who drinks every night,
(10:36):
just one or two to take the edgeoff kind of thing and calm
yourself down. Have it to break, yeah, yeah,
because for. Starters, you probably don't
think you have a problem at all.Totally.
And maybe you don't. Well, that and that's where the
language around drinking. So when I was, I have written a
book about all of this and I dida lot of study and research to
try and make sure that my book was also not just my story.
Like, look at me, I'm sober and my life's fabulous now.
(10:56):
Yeah. But also you know which.
Was the title of the book, whichwas a strange decision.
Bit self indulgent. What is the name of the book?
For those who want to check it out now it's.
Called Last Drinks. Yeah, yeah.
So I did, yeah. Some research just so that I
came. I wanted it to be science based,
so because I love facts. So I did, yeah.
A bit of a nerd over here did a lot of research and I just
(11:19):
landed on some really interesting stuff about alcohol,
what it does, why we do it, why it's so hard to give up.
And one of the things was for me, I remember getting to a
point in 2014 where my life was really great on paper.
I had a national drive show, I had tons of money.
I was living in a cool apartmentin Melbourne.
I had designers wanting to dressme, like really living the
(11:42):
dream, interviewing celebrities everyday, sharing an office with
Hamish and Andy. Like I had a great life but I
was drinking everyday and not tothe point where I would be like
stumbling out of bars, but I wasdrinking alcohol every day and I
I went. Home or when out?
At home in the afternoon out, when I got back from from being
(12:04):
out, I would still sort of top up and I realised there was a,
an issue, but I didn't, I couldn't put like a label on it.
So I actually googled, am I an alcoholic?
Oh wow. So then I read like the a, a
manifesto and I got so annoyed because I wasn't an alcoholic.
I was like, that's actually not me.
I'm not that, but I'm not sober and I'm not having a great time
(12:27):
and I don't know what to do about this.
So what am I like that? So I wrote the book from that
place where I kind of wish I hadmy book then, because that would
have. You talk about it like as your
relationship with alcohol. Yeah, right.
Yes, you may not be classed as an alcoholic under what AA says,
yeah. Exactly.
(12:48):
Yeah. So, So what, what I kind of from
there, then I did a bit of a fewhard looks in the mirror and
this this was I think this was avery clever idea that I came up
with is I thought I started thinking about like the things
that we just mentioned. Like when you drink, you usually
force a little bit into it. You don't usually don't know
when to stop or you have too many.
(13:09):
You spend way too much time out.You end up, you know, spending
too much money. You feel like crap the next day.
And I thought to myself, if thatwas a person.
So if I was telling you rabbit, I'm hanging out with this chick,
her name's Brooke. But every time we hang out, I
end up feeling like crap. I lose I lose pockets of my
memory. I stay out too late.
I act really silly. I do dumb things.
(13:30):
I you would go. Do you need to stay away from
her? Exactly.
Yeah, and that. She's not good for you.
Yeah, she's toxic. And you need to have a break
from Brooke because Brooke is doing you no favours.
And that's, that's how I assess my relationship with alcohols.
Like this isn't good for me. So I need to have a break.
So that's right. That's January 1, 2015.
I had a break with the intentionof it just being a break to
(13:53):
assess life without a hangover for the first time in probably
my adult life. Yeah, for an extended period of
time. And then after a month, 2346,
like it just, you know, kept going.
I didn't do the, I'm never drinking again.
Like I didn't put all this pressure on myself to be sober.
I just created a really cool life in sobriety that now I
(14:16):
would just never gamble on anything.
You've got to the point now where it's just a it's just a
non starter. Like it just wouldn't happen.
Not gonna happen. I don't even.
Think there's nothing that couldget you?
There's nothing. Yeah.
Yeah, I get that. Yeah.
And what you said before about your health stuff, do you talk
about that? Yeah.
Yeah. And what you with a
endometriosis? Endometriosis.
Yeah, not a fun diagnosis. Do you know what endometriosis
(14:39):
is? Absolutely zero, yeah.
I've had a uterus, so why would you know?
Did I? Was mine removed?
Was. I don't know if I have tonsils
either. Definitely, as a man would never
have had a. Uterus.
Good to know, I wanna ask my doctor to check it next time.
If you ask your doctor to check your uterus, she might send you
to a different doctor. Let's go back to the fun times
(14:59):
of radio. That's totally something I would
have done. I would have miked myself up.
I'm gonna go to the doctor and ask them to check my uterus.
And then you record all of that and be absolutely convinced that
yes, I've got a uterus. Find it.
You don't have a uterus. Drop my stride?
No. I've got a don't go.
But I have had some women rape chat to me, very early days of
(15:20):
the podcast, and I think it was Endo awareness month or
something like that. And they said, oh, God, you
should talk to women who've beenthrough this, go through this
and everything. And I went, I don't know what
that is. I don't have a uterus.
Yeah. But it has told me.
Scary. Yeah.
It's scary for men. I think to, you know, we, we've
got a lot of stuff going on in our bodies because of these
(15:41):
uteruses that we have. They give us children if, you
know, if we're lucky enough, yeah.
But also give us a lot of pain and a lot of problems on a
monthly basis. And so endometriosis is it's a
disease. It's not, you know, I'm not
gonna sugarcoat it is a disease.There is no cure.
And they we also don't know whatcauses it.
So it's really. One of those ones.
One of those ones, yeah. And women get, you can have an
(16:03):
endodiagnosis, you know, in yourearly 20s.
And I'm in my early 40s and I only just got diagnosed.
And the symptoms are, there are like 8 sort of really common
symptoms. And then there are some
underlying symptoms as well. And so it's really hard to get a
diagnosis because you could maybe just have like a really
achy period every month. That doesn't mean you have endo,
(16:24):
but you might have all of these other signs as well.
So it is inflammation in your uterus, which basically it can
cause fertility problems. It can be so debilitating, the
pain that you cannot go to work.So then you have loss of income.
It can affect your mental healthbecause one of my symptoms was I
in the late afternoons only mostrecently where it kind of flared
(16:46):
up, right? I honestly, if you looked at me
at 6:00 PM, you would absolutelysay when are you having a baby?
Because the swelling in my body was so intense.
So I was wearing baggy clothes and not really leaving the
house. It was absolutely outrageous
that. So that's bloating was one of my
major, major symptoms. And so that was because I had
(17:07):
those symptoms. I was already on.
For me, this is how it all came up anyway.
Glenn and I, we have a wonderfulson, Henry, who's 5, but we've
been trying to have another babyfor four years, right.
We've had two miscarriages and they're heart breaking.
Yeah. And then we did IVF and it
failed. And at some point you just go,
maybe I'm not supposed to be a mum to another kid.
That's a tough thing to. And so that's not easy to
(17:31):
navigate in life. Plus show up to work every day
and do a radio show and do all of the things you know the.
Question around that then is do you does is it something you
talk about at the time when you're going through it like do
other people know no, This is why you're wearing your baggy
clothes. This is why you're.
No, no, no, no, no. Well, and I didn't know that it
(17:52):
was endometriosis at the time, right?
So I had so we have this long four year fertility journey,
which has been heartbreaking andreally hard.
And it was almost a last ditch effort after the IVF failed.
And we I said we've had the two miscarriages.
You just go, what are we, you know, how do we navigate this?
And I found this amazing fertility Dr. And we, I just
(18:15):
started having her assess me andmy body and we have blood tests.
So we got biomarkers and then she's amazing.
She's a scientist. So she's got this scientific
background and she's got a, she has a masters in women's
reproductive health. So she knows all about the
uterus. Yeah.
And so she was like, this is what's going on in your body.
And it was the first time anyonehad ever had that conversation
(18:36):
with me. And I've been in and out of
doctor's office, in and out of IVF, in and out of hospital.
And it's the first time she said, this is what's going on in
your body. And I, for the first time,
didn't feel like I was just somerandom patient in line.
I feel like a person. And from there, we did all of
these tests. And she's like, I'm pretty sure
you've got endo. And she sent me to a top endo
(18:56):
document in Sydney who gave me the diagnosis.
And then they really can't 100% qualify if it is endo until you
have surgery basically. Wow.
So I had to have a laparoscopy where they take out all the
inflamed tissue that is endometriosis.
And the stage of the endo 123 or4 is dependent on how deep they
(19:19):
have to cut into your in and around your ovaries and all of
your bits. Yes, to get it all out.
And I was at a stage 3. And so then you go, no wonder we
had a couple of miscarriages andyou haven't been able to fall
pregnant for four years. And I've had all all of this
hectic swelling in my body because my body's been fighting
a disease I didn't know that I had all this time.
Oh my gosh. So you just the day I got the
(19:40):
diagnosis was bittersweet. So I was like, thank God, I can
say what it is. I'm like, it is endometriosis.
And that felt like a relief, like I'm not going crazy.
But then it was also like, oh, but I've got endometriosis.
Yeah. And that sucks.
But then do you know, so I know you just recently had surgery.
Yeah, only four weeks ago. Or was that the one you talking
about? The Laparos?
Yeah. Me roscopy it.
(20:00):
Sounds like a ice hockey player.Laparoscopy.
I don't. Know and ohh, so that's the that
only happened just recently. That was that was the four.
Weeks. I only got the diagnosis this
year, right? Yeah.
So it's all very, very new. OK, so then what happens from
there then when they know that are you, are you fixed now?
No, no one can fix me rabbit. Do you know what?
(20:22):
I I can't tell you the number ofeyes that just rolled as I said
that? Yes.
Are you? Are you?
Going to be a problem anymore? Well.
This is the thing I yes, I know absolutely nothing about it.
I don't know whether once they've done that thing where
they scrape. It's really.
Hectic, all of that stuff, Is itgone?
So, yes, so currently in my body, the endometriosis, there
(20:43):
is no tissue that is endometriosis, yeah, But it will
come back because once you have it, you kind of you get rid of
it through the surgery. And there's no other way to
really get rid of it that I'm aware of.
That's why we need to try and find a cure.
Well. That'll come right eventually
with science for for one thing, there'll be some sort of test
that you can quickly take that. And that's what's important too,
(21:04):
is it's that we need to find a way to get women diagnosed
sooner than, you know, four years of a fertility struggle.
And that's just my story. And it's not even one of the
worst ones. Oh, yeah.
There are women that have been through utter hell.
And sometimes it can get to a point where, you know, even
later in life, they're like, well, maybe a hysterectomy is
the way to go where they just take it out, take a uterus out
(21:24):
because it's too much of an issue.
But you don't want to have that when you're in your late 20s,
early 30s and you, you love the idea of having a family one day,
right? So it's been that has been a
really unexpected turn in my journey.
And again, one of the reasons why I stopped doing the podcast
was because that's when I got this diagnosis and I was like, I
just need to stop doing other stuff and I need to just get
(21:46):
better. Alright, that'll do us for this
quick fix. Remember, if you ever wanna hear
the full conversation it comes from, just match the number in
the title of this quick fix to the full episode number.
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