Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
We all have pet
peeves, but I thought it would
be really fun, tish, on thisweek's episode, to look into
what they are and why we havethem, and are they different in
midlife.
So let me ask you, tish, do youhave many pet peeves?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
You know, Ellen, I
think I have far fewer pet
peeves than when I was younger,right, and of course I have some
for sure, and I can't wait toshare some of them with you, and
I'm sure they're going to besimilar.
But you know, the interestingthing to me is that they say
(00:40):
that pet peeves kind of come outof things that we value in our
lives.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Okay, Interesting.
So they're kind of like windowsinto our soul, so to speak.
That have like attitudes,values or you know things that
kind of contradict our values.
So officially a pet peeve isdefined as something that you or
someone finds annoying, right.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Ellen, you know I was
reading this recent article in
Psychology Today and it was alittle shocking because it also
suggested that pet peeves couldbe based on childhood trauma.
So the things that we dealtwith as children create our
adult pet peeves, you know.
(01:31):
So, to kind of give you anexample, if you felt unheard as
a child, you know overshadowedand unheard a pet peeve as an
adult may be when someoneinterrupts you.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I didn't.
I never thought of thatperspective, I never thought of
them in that way.
But as we go through ours,we'll have to both think about
it.
If they could come from that.
But let's face it, Tish, Ithink we're going to have some
overlap and I think that a lotof our pet peeves are going to
be pretty funny, because youknow what these are minor
annoyances that we findirritating and a lot of times
(02:11):
these really amuse my kids, Ihave to say.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
They know what your
pet peeves are and they're going
to like poke you for them,right?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Exactly.
Or it just surprises them whenI lose my mind over something
because I think I'm fairly calm.
But I really can't wait to hearyours, tish, and see if we have
any crossovers, but before weget into our pet peeves.
You know I love this part ofthe show.
What is your obsession for thisweek?
What do you have for me?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Now you know I love
watching all the runway stuff.
What is the new fashion coming?
And blah, blah, blah, right,and so all the rage right now on
the runways are flowers, right,and so you know.
Here's the thing, though beforeyou go investing tons of money
into clothes that have these big, bold flowers on them, my
(03:01):
obsession this week is a veryreasonable flower choker.
Okay, so actually we're goingto put a link on here, yes, but
you can get a four pack so youhave a variety of colors, so you
can add that little bit of arose to you, but just as a
choker, right?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Wow, could you also
use it as a belt, do you know?
Because?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
you know it looks
like it wraps the neck a little
bit because I haven't orderedmine yet, but I'm definitely
ordering it because I, you know,do want to be a little fashion
trendy.
But I'm not investing, you know, big money into these flowers
because I have a feeling this isgoing to be a one season wonder
.
But, you know, for under $15 tobe able to add it to an outfit,
(03:46):
tie it on a purse or, you know,you can do a lot of things with
it, put it in your hair, soyeah.
So that's my obsession thisweek are these flowers, because
I've seen them all over therunway this season.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Well, you sent me a
photo and I think they look so
fun and you're right.
You could use them, I think, ina lot of ways.
So check out that link everyone, and I love how you're always
looking at runway trends,Because you know, I'm not, so
you are helping me.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, I look at them
and say what can I use out of my
own closet to reconfigureWhatever?
But anyway, that's another show.
But Ellen, what is yourobsession this week?
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Okay, so my obsession
are these rings that stack on
top of one another, and there isa really beautiful Italian
brand that I see, that I'vetracked called Pomelato I think
it's called Pomelato.
It's this Italian brand andthere's big, chunky crystals and
(04:52):
you put two or three or fourtogether.
I found the most beautifulknockoff of these rings on
Amazon.
Okay, it's a brand called KudoUUDO and these are square
crystals with 32 facets.
I got three different colors ofpink, because you know I love
(05:14):
pink.
I know you love pink too.
You just stack them on top ofone another and, super cute,
you're getting that high, highend.
Look, you know, it's one ofthose high, low kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
I love the high low.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I love the high low.
These rings come in so manycolors.
You can get an emerald color, asapphire color and a ruby color
, or you can go they come inthree different colors of tan or
three different colors of green, so you can put kind of a
monochromatic look together too,and they are $65.
(05:50):
And they look like the $3,000,$4,000 rings I've been, you know
, lusting over.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
So I love it.
I love it.
That sounds like a nice, likeValentine gift or Easter basket
gift.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Or Valentine's gift
to yourself.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
All right, we'll put
a link to those, but I love it
if any listeners order them, ifthey can share either their
stories with the flowers or withthe Kudo stacking rings.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Love it, love it.
I want to just jump right intosome of the science behind pet
peeves.
Right, and our listeners knowwe always like doing research on
our different topics and stuff,and so in doing so, we found
three universal pet peeves,according to Parade Magazine.
(06:41):
And so, ellen, can you sharewith us what are these three
universal pet peeves?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I sure can.
First, I want to say I used tolove reading Parade Magazine.
When we got the Sundaynewspaper, it was always the
best.
Okay, these three came as nosurprise to me, Pish the fact
that they bugged everyone acrossso many cultures.
Loud chewing, interrupting andone upping.
(07:10):
I mean, who does not getannoyed by those three?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Right, right, and I
loved how you mentioned that it
crosses different cultures,because that was one thing I
thought.
Is this like an Americanphenomenon?
Now, different cultures havedifferent names for it?
Right, but we call it petpeeves, but it's all the same
thing.
So it is kind of a universalconcept and yeah, so these are
(07:35):
definitely interesting ones.
For sure, I think some of thesewere were ones that bothered me
more when I was younger and Ikind of let go of some of these
more universal ones.
Mine are definitely differentthan these, but and maybe, being
(07:56):
deaf in one ear, I don't justturn my good ear away from the
loud chewers, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
That's so funny.
I know loud chewing doesn'tbother me, but I think there's
actually like a word for that,like a syndrome with loud
chewing.
It's something that's known.
But let's talk about the typesof pet peeves.
There are three types.
The first is social, whichhappens when there are
violations to social norms.
There's environmental that areexpressed, you know, pet peeves
(08:25):
around sounds and smells.
And then there's interpersonalpet peeves, which I think I have
the most of those.
Those are the ones that aregenerated with people were
around often.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
You know, I think for
me the pet peeves that probably
I have most of are social ones.
You know, I'm like, I'm likeall about the rules.
You know there's there's socialrules and when you break those
social rules it makes me alittle cray cray.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
That is so funny that
that is what makes you crazy.
I mean, I have not.
I have so many there across thespectrum and I'm not sure I
have less as I've gotten older.
Tish, I think we may beopposite there.
I think I may be have more, butwhen we decided to talk about
this and I sat down to kind ofreally seriously think about it,
(09:16):
they were pretty easy toidentify.
How about for you, tish?
Were they easy to identify?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Oh yeah, I think you
know.
I think you know over time thatwe just we just know the things
that annoy us and so we don'treally think about it too much.
But as you know, I wasunpacking some of what these pet
peeves are, you know, I reallyhad to take some internal looks
and then again, reading aboutbehind the science of it, like
(09:45):
where do they come from, thesesocial ones?
And you know stuff that happensfrom our youth and things like
that.
So it really made me start tothink.
But, ellen, like what is yourbiggest pet peeve?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
All right.
So this is coming to.
I think this might be asurprise.
The low-cockers are my biggestpet peeve for a number of
reasons, but mostly it's hardfor me not to wanna jump in and
finish their sentences and helpthem get to the point.
(10:20):
And then I'm an interrupter,which is, you know, one of those
universal pet peeves, right,and it's like all I wanna do is
say this talk faster, come on,get to the point.
Get to the point, get to thepoint.
And I have a few slow talkersat work and a slow talker in a
work environment.
I mean, you don't even knowwhat that does to me.
(10:44):
How do you feel about slowtalkers?
Tish.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Y'all.
I have just learned, living inthe south, to take a breath of
these slow talkers, oh man, andto appreciate it and stuff.
I literally was with a friendof mine in a store when I very
first moved down here and shestarted snapping her fingers in
(11:10):
this woman's face to get her totalk faster.
It was outrageous, but I think,yeah, again, it's this.
But it makes me wonder why doesthat bother you?
So Are they?
Do you feel they're wastingyour time?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I start getting
anxious, like there's an anxiety
that comes in which is likehurry it up, hurry it up.
And maybe it's from growing upin like the Metro New York area
in New Jersey.
There's some part of like justget to the F and point my friend
.
But I never thought about howyou know where you're living.
(11:54):
Tish, you know folks are, justthey talk a little slower and
you have to accept it and maybesome of this is at midlife.
We just have to roll intoacceptance.
But I wanna move on and seewhat your number one at PIV is.
Can you share.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
I would have to say
people who are excessively late
and they don't give you heads upabout it.
That really drives me crazy.
It just speaks to me of a lackof disrespect and again, I think
it goes into that social normthing that you know, do you not
(12:32):
value my time, that you feelit's okay, I don't care if
someone's a few minutes late.
You know stuff happens.
But you know I've had somepeople in my life that have been
like crazy late and you want tojust start telling them that
something starts like two hoursbefore it really does.
So they're there on time, youknow, but it was, and I've had,
(12:57):
you know, friends of mine and Ithink this is a little bit of a
cultural thing.
I have a group ofAfrican-American friends and
they always laugh about thisbecause my friend Deb in
particular.
She'll say to me you know, feelfree to come early if you wanna
come.
Like you know, white girl onwhite girl time.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
But I think there's a
lot of cultures that have that
Like I have a couple of otherfriends and they think it's fine
, it's super acceptable, and soI do think this late one is a
cultural thing.
And you know, I wanted to askis it that these friends, or
this friend, or whatever, arechronically late?
(13:42):
It's always that they're late,or is it just when they're late
they're disrespectful to yourtime?
They don't call, or.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
I think the the, the
lateness that bothers me, it's
not the I've come late to a biggathering, that's.
That doesn't bother me as much,as I've planned to do something
one on one with you or with asmall group.
And then that one person reallylike you're waiting to order a
meal, you're waiting to sit down, you're running late to you
(14:14):
know an event and now it's allrushed and crazy and and
stressed, you know Right.
So yeah, so that's, that's moreof it for me.
So excessive lateness, petpeeve, extraordinary for me.
Give me another one of yours,alex.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Okay, all right, so
you know where I live.
Is the mountain biking capitalof the world allegedly invented?
here, but the weather is so goodand in Northern California
people are cycling all the timeand we have this thing share the
road but so often there arecyclists that ride two or three
(14:55):
across in the road and I find itreally, really, really
irritating to me because, ofcourse, we're on small roads and
we want I want to be safe,right, and sometimes I just feel
that they're they, they areaudacious, there's just an
audacity, almost like huntingthe driver of a car.
(15:17):
You can see how much thisbothers me.
But it translates into peoplewho walk two or three across on
a on a sidewalk too, and youknow, you just want to get by
them and it's a sidewalk,there's limited space.
So I think this goes topeople's awareness when they're
just not aware or they're onlyself-aware, and so the cyclists
(15:39):
and the sidewalkers, self-awareor selfish, do you feel it's
selfish?
It's selfish, it's selfish,yeah, yeah.
And so that really bothers me.
I mean, yeah, in a way, nowthat I'm saying it, tish, it's
silly a little bit.
But again, pet peeve is a petpeeve.
(16:01):
We do not have to justify it,we just have to talk about it in
this episode.
Right, give me your number twopet peeve.
What do you got?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Well, I was going to
say with the cyclist, that's not
an issue here, but SouthCarolina does not require
helmets for motorcycle riders.
Oh, wow.
So we have a huge population ofmotorcycle riders that are
riding around without helmetstoo, right, so it's a little.
(16:30):
It's a little crazy, you knowso.
Sometimes they, you know, hogup the road, but at least
they're going the speed limit,the speed limit as well, okay.
So here's another one of minePeople who decide it's okay to
talk during a movie.
You're at the movie theater andthey are going to talk.
(16:51):
They're asking questions aroundtheir cell phones.
They're it's like hello.
That bothers me.
It's like stay home then.
Stay home and watch your TV.
You've come to the movietheater.
Can you at least not have aconversation during the movie?
Speaker 1 (17:13):
You know, I find that
very irritating too, but also
people who take out their phonesand answer texts during a movie
.
Right, it's the whole.
It's the whole thing.
I go to a movie to completelyescape from my real life, and I
love how dark and quiet it is,right, and that you're just
(17:33):
really.
You're really escaped.
You've really escaped life.
And so I do have a couplefriends, though, and I'm not
going to name them, but they doask a lot of questions in a
movie and I'm always like I'mwatching the same movie as you
are.
How do you think I know whothat guy is, or whatever?
(17:54):
And so that does come up.
There are a few people, butthey're not having conversations
.
It's more like who do you thinkthat guy is, or it's you know
that person's mother?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Well, I'm naming
names.
I, I one of my BFFs, judy, mywe're.
I know I have really goodfriends.
Oldest friend in the world fromBuffalo.
I will not go to the movieswith her anymore.
She asked 10,000, what do youthink is going to happen now
Exactly?
I can't even hear what's goingon because you're asking all the
questions Again.
That's the whole idea, I'mwatching the same movie.
(18:29):
Why does it?
Why do I let it bother me?
So I don't have to answer her.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Great, just get like
quiet quiet, quiet quiet there.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, oh well, that's
funny.
All right, lay another one onme, ellen, tell me another one.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Well, first of all I
have to say that one's a
crossover.
I have it too.
It does not make it into my topdish, but all right.
You know, at work we use athing called Slack, but it's
just like an IM system and mosteverybody uses it when you, when
you want to have somethinganswered.
It's very commonplace.
But you're trying to focus andyou see a Slack come in and it
(19:09):
makes a noise and you're like,oh, that's somebody I should
really look and see.
You know again, kind of like atext, like when a text comes in,
but you're like, okay, I've gotit, I've got to look at this,
and all the Slack or instantmessage says is Hi, ellen.
It's like you just interruptedme.
I've come to see what it is youneed and you've done nothing
(19:32):
but say Hi, ellen.
And I don't know why this bugsme so much.
It's like if you're going, to ifyou're going to disturb me,
you're going to interrupt me.
Tell me what you want.
Let me see if I can help youNow.
So then I have to write back.
Hey, raj, pam, hi, what is itthat you want, right?
(19:54):
So is that something thatbothers you at work?
Tish, do you have a lot of thatkind of interruption?
Not?
Speaker 2 (20:00):
at this particular
job.
At previous jobs we had a lotof instant messaging and stuff.
And no, it didn't.
You know, I actually preferredthe IM over an in-person visit
because I was going to beshorter.
So I would just say, I wouldjust say, yeah, you know it was.
(20:21):
I always took it as are youbusy, and if I didn't, if I
really was busy, I wasn't goingto respond and I'd get back to
them later.
But have you ever gone back tothe perpetrators of the high
Ellen and said, hey, the nexttime you send me an IM, can you
(20:42):
just put the whole messagetogether and then that way I can
answer you faster and even ifI'm in the middle of something,
I can still answer you.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
That would take all
of my pet peeving away.
What are you talking about here?
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Okay.
So we want to, you want tocontinue to embrace that pet
peeve, okay, no, no, I mean allthe peeving aside, I think he's
solved my problem on that oneAbsolutely 100%.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Okay, so no crossover
there.
What's your next pet peeve Tish?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Okay, this one really
aggravates me and the biggest
perpetrator of this is myWalmart that I have to go and
check myself out so they're notproviding that service anymore.
And then they have the audacityto stop me at the door to check
(21:42):
my receipt as if I'm a thief.
You've gotten me to do your jobof checking out and paying all
on my own, without anyassistance, and then you're
gonna treat me like a thief atthe door.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Okay.
Why does that make you feellike a thief?
The checking Do they checkeveryone?
Do they check self-checkout andregular?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
No, it's a random
thing.
They'll stop and say can I seeyour receipt?
I see, I see.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Cause, you know, like
Costco.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
If you were so
worried about me stealing, then
provide people to check out.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Well, I mean, I
thought it was maybe like Costco
.
No matter if you self-check outor someone else checks you out,
they check your receipt at thedoor and then they say oh, we're
just making sure you.
They act like it's not aboutseeing if somebody stole in
something, it's like what elseare you here for?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
That's really
interesting, that Walmart does
that and I find it highlyoffensive and it is a huge pet
peeve of mine that you've nowasked me to so you can save
money, and then you treat melike I'm a thief and that I need
to be checked.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Are these the
greeters that are bored?
Are they bored greeters thatthen turn around and become, or
are they different people?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I think they're
different people, I don't really
know, but and I've been told bysome people you are not
required to show them anything.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I know it would be
nice if you just said no thank
you and continued walking.
That could be a good response.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
But it's like how
embarrassing.
People start looking at youlike, oh, what were you trying
to?
They look in your bag, theylook in your basket Like what
was she trying to sneak by?
Yeah, and I do find it veryoffensive.
Yeah, and I've told thegreeters.
I said I don't appreciate it,that I've checked myself out.
Now you treat me like a thiefand I'm very vocal about it
(23:53):
directly through them.
But yeah, that's a big petpeeve.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Any listeners that
are working for Walmart or have
any connections to Walmart,please take this up, because it
is making tish, because you knowwhat?
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Integrity is like
number one for me, right yeah,
and to intentionally takesomething that doesn't belong to
you is just not it's just neveracceptable to me, Right?
And so to be treated likesomebody that would, because you
didn't provide enough staff tocheck me out, oh yeah, that's a
(24:34):
crazy.
That makes me crazy.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Okay, no crossover
here.
No crossover on that one.
No crossover here.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Okay, so what about
you?
Let's move on to your next one.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
My next one has to do
with air travel and I have had
this happen twice and on myrecent trip I was sitting in the
middle on a middle seat incoach class and this woman came
in and we got up to let her intothe window.
This other gentleman was on theaisle and she was on her phone
(25:10):
and she sat down next to me,closer than most people sit next
to me, and she continued totalk on her phone.
She had on ear pods, but thewhole 20 minutes until the plane
was taxiing and she had to getoff, and it made me so angry, it
(25:31):
was so rude and it wassomething this was not.
She wasn't a doctor givinginstructions about a post-op
surgery patient, or it hadnothing to do with that.
And it was like what part of weare all sitting in this tiny
row and you are talking loudright next to me for 20 minutes
(25:54):
and I gave her my glare.
The glare did nothing.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
The glare did nothing
, just so that you know Social
disapproval, the social likewhat are you doing?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
And she was a lot
younger but she wasn't like a
teenager or anything.
So I wonder if maybe that is anage thing where I think that
it's rude.
I think it's rude.
Would that have bothered you?
Speaker 2 (26:25):
You know what the
cell phone use.
That really drives me likeinsane when I am in a public
restroom and somebody is goingon and on and on with
conversations as they're sittingon the toilet.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
In a public toilet.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
So I will continue to
flush repeatedly.
So a little aggressive, it'snever very passive.
Aggressive, yes, never deterredthem.
Oh my goodness, I thought youcan't, and to me it's just this
social decorum.
(27:04):
I mean, you're in a publicbathroom and there's like you
can't Give somebody enoughprivacy not to be on a public
call.
I don't know that one just hasme like cuckoos.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Yeah well, if I had a
toilet to flush next to this
woman in my Airlines seat, Iwould have done it.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Sort of coffin and
coffin and coffin.
Oh my gosh, but it's, it's.
But it's funny how we do that.
You know that we Try to.
You know, give the stare.
You know that thing like excuseme, do you not know the social
contract here?
You're breaking this socialcontract.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Do you know that's
what it really comes down to me,
no, and I know for you, so manyof these are around that social
contract, and as well as me,but I think, I think those
social contracts have gone outthe effing window, sure dish, oh
, oh absolutely.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Yeah, yeah, it's,
it's.
It's like the Wild West outthere when it comes to social
decorum, it seems.
Now I know that you and I bothhave this last pet peeve we're
gonna talk about.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yes, thank you for
bringing this one up.
And you know, tish, both of ushave lost our mothers.
We lost our mothers within amonth of each other 20 years ago
, and when we lost our moms weeach had our last baby within
that month.
So you know, I know that thiscomes from from a reaction to
(28:47):
that, but one of my pet peevesis when women are age, you know
kind of Not bad about theirmothers or complain about their
mothers, and I know elderlyparents are a huge stressor.
But you know, all I ever wantto say to these women Is like,
please just stop, like I can't,I cannot even listen to it.
(29:11):
It's so painful, this one forme and I.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
I have to stop myself
from having a reaction that
seems too strong when I'm withfriends that are doing this, or
acquaintances or wherever I am,when they complain about their
mothers what I try to do,because it does it really, you
know, rear something in methat's very, it's very offensive
(29:39):
to it, right, but what I try toget across to, you know,
friends who do this is, and Iwill say to them, I would give
anything To have that problemwith my mother just to have
another day where she aggravatedme or did this or did that.
(30:01):
You know.
So that is a huge thing, youknow it is.
I try to get them to understand, appreciate every day.
Don't let your, your elderlyparents failings Irritate.
You.
Try to stop yourself andappreciate every moment you have
(30:23):
, because they're running out.
Yeah, you know, I know, I know.
So that was, that was a toughone.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
I like how you handle
it.
I think what I do is I, youknow, keep it inside and I
Hercolate on it in a not sohealthy way, but you know, but
that that makes me like you know, kind of.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
As we, because I know
we've talked about a lot of our
.
You know different ones, butit's funny because you know, as
pet peeves, we really should betrying.
We shouldn't be letting themget to us like they do, right,
we should be addressing them, weshould be dealing with them and
Understanding where they comefrom and why they come.
(31:09):
I think is important part ofyou know, lessening all those
small aggravations.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
You know, tish, I
think that that research is
really helpful for us aroundthis and, I think, addressing
them, laughing at them in thatvery healthy way, laughing at
ourselves, right, but takingthat path that we talk about a
lot on the podcast, which is,you know, really the positive
(31:34):
part of Life, and the Zen path,I think that that could be.
You know, it's really good forall of us to not let these get
to us to To an extreme extent.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
And I think what
would be good practice for us to
do right now is talk about likemaybe five different ways that
we can handle the feelings thatcause pet peeves.
Okay, let's do it, and firstyou know we're going to be
talking about the I am thing bysaying next time you I am me.
Please put your issue down so Ican help you.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
I think that that's a
really great thing.
The others remove them.
I mean, you can really removeyourself from a lot of these
situations, but I think that's areally great thing.
I think that's a really greatthing.
I think that's a really greatthing, but others remove them.
I mean, you can really removeyourself from a lot of these
(32:32):
situations and I think, ratherthan let yourself get too riled
up, if removing yourself is thebest thing to do, then go ahead
and do it.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Make yourself right,
you know for that excessively
late friends, you know, don'tmake dinner plans with them.
Say, hey, let's just understandwhat's going to happen, we'll
see you for dessert.
I love that, you know.
I think you know another waythat you can deal with these pet
(33:05):
peeves is to change thestructure, create a plan or
process to change, just likethat I am, you know, right.
Say, hey, look, when you sendme, when you need me, go ahead
and put the whole thing rightout there.
I will get to you faster thanthe back and forth.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Yeah, I really like
that, and you know.
The next one is to share yourannoyance and I think sometimes
this is really more ofinterpersonal ones with people
that are in our life and in ourorbit Not some woman who sat
next to me on a plane.
I could have easily said excuseme, I find it annoying that
you're talking on your phone orit's time for you to put away
(33:45):
your phone.
I'm not sure I would do that,but I would and could, on a lot
of these especially, you know,when it's with a kid or someone
in my life Really be like hey,you know what, can we, can we
make this different?
So a lot of it again isadvocating for yourself, which
here at midlife we talk about alot, right.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Yeah, and a lot of
people might not realize that
something that they're doing isreally, you know, affecting you
so much, right, and, and youknow we talk about things that
happened in our childhood.
The lady next to you isn'tgoing to know that something you
know, whatever it is thattriggers it.
(34:26):
So sometimes these pet peevescome across as Like, why are you
making such a big deal about it?
Right, but I'm telling you,ellen, I wouldn't confront
anyone on a plane.
I have watched far too manytick tock where people have lost
their minds, that they've hadto get air marshals involved.
Oh yeah, land planes early todrag people behaving badly off
(34:52):
of planes.
So you know, I guess you haveto say you know because you
don't know how people are goingto react you could start like,
you know, freaking out and youknow how, how do we redirect or
whatever right?
So ultimately we just need tochill out about it or Confront
(35:12):
it, and you're gonna have tojust weigh those different paths
.
And I think, when it comes tostrangers, you know you're not
gonna be changing anything thatthey're doing, just chill If
it's, if it's somebody thatyou're constantly having these
negative interactions with, isCan confront it and not in a
(35:34):
confrontational way necessarily,but just to address it, say you
know, I don't know if yourealize, but this really drives
me crazy and you know what canwe do about it?
You know how can we change that, because I don't want it to
sour our interactions with eachother and I think, as, as we get
(35:55):
older, you know we need to bevoicing, especially in our
circle.
You know we need to be voicingand letting ourselves heard, but
also Stopping for a moment andsaying why is this bothering me?
Yeah, you know, I'm not thechild that wasn't heard.
So if somebody interrupts me,just, you know, smile and nod
(36:19):
you know, that kind of thing.
So I think you know, ask, startasking yourself why does this
bother me so much and Should itcontinue to bother me so much?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
I like that a little
introspection, a little digging
deep and and on some cases,letting it go.
So I would like to invite allof our listeners to drop us your
pet peeves, your midlife petpeeves, social channels, let us
know, or send us an email so youcan find us on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
You can find us on
tick tock.
You know we have the positivelymidlife pod calm, so definitely
reach out.
We love to hear from you.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
We love it.
So till next week, midlifefirst.