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April 23, 2025 78 mins

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Fake Songs, Finger Sacrifices, and Dark Web Starter Packs – Just Another LAN Party 🎮🧠🍻

This week on The Poor Choices Show, the boys bring in a special guest to help navigate the most important issues of our time—like whether a straw has one hole or two, and if it’s socially acceptable to cut off a finger for permanent steak privileges. (Spoiler: It is.)

We kick things off with:
🎉 A celebration of meaningless national days and even more meaningless celebrity birthdays
 🍔 A heartbreaking tale of a bacon mac n’ cheese burger that never got to fulfill its destiny
 🕳️ A straw debate that somehow turns into a civil war
 🎶 The ultimate bracket of fake songs that go too hard (Justice for “Scotty Doesn’t Know”)

Then things get weird:
 ‍⚖️ A game of “Which celebrity has been arrested more?” that reveals DMX was basically on tour—with the cops
💻 A breakdown of hilarious (and probably bannable) gamer tags
 🎮 A heated discussion about video games and whether we’ve crossed into full nerd territory
 🖐️ Sacrificing fingers for your favorite foods (because sometimes losing a pinky is worth the brisket)
 🎧 The “correct” way to wear a headset—yes, there is one, and yes, you're doing it wrong

And just when you think we’ve peaked:
📦 A thought experiment involving cubes, personality psychology, and pure nonsense
 🐷 A large man with an even larger hog lets you know if you’ve been infected with COVID. Yeah… You remember
 ⏱️ A “time-stopped room” scenario that is definitely not just a setup for pervy jokes (but also… yes it is)

We also hit:
🔮 Conspiracy theories we just made up—but sound a little too believable
 💸 Universal scams that we all just shrug and accept (looking at you, Ticketmaster)
 🌐 A quick dark web 101, including why you should probably never Google it
 🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices—the beers may change, but the regrets stay the same

This episode is part debate club, part fever dream, and 100% why we’ll never be allowed to host a TED Talk.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

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Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
3:52 – HE IS RIZZIN’
5:42 – NATIONAL DAYS & BIRTHDAYS
10:14 – GUEST INTRODUCTION
11:50 – BACON MAC N CHEESE BURGER
14:04 – HOW MANY HOLES DOES A STRAW HAVE?
17:42 – WHAT’S THE BEST FAKE SONG?
19:48 – GUEST WHICH CELEBRITY HAS BEEN ARRESTED MORE
26:18 – FUNNY GAMERTAGS
30:52 – ARE WE eSPORTS NERDS!?
33:13 – SACRIFICIAL FINGERS
39:14 – THE CORRECT WAY TO WEAR A HEADSET
44:03 – WOULD YOU RATHER?
46:33 – THE CUBE – A THOUGHT EXPERIMENT
47:46 – THE COVID HOG
55:55 – THE TIME-STOPPED ROOM
50:26 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU MADE UP RIGHT NOW, THAT SOUNDS 100% BELIEVABLE
52:40 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S A UNIVERSAL SCAM THAT WE ALL JUST ACCEPT?
55:04 – THE DARK WEB
56:40 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
1:19:20 – OUTRO


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