#64 IF DUCT TAPE WON'T FIX IT, YOU'RE NOT USING ENOUGH

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Southern Boy Survival Tactics, DUI Tricycles, and Redneck Wisdom – Welcome to the Chaos 🧻🍻🚜

This week on The Poor Choices Show, things get real dumb, real fast. We're joined by our special guest Dookie Mush, who instantly derails everything with enough redneck energy to power a Waffle House during a hurricane.

We kick things off with:
🛏️ Why was your bed squeaking at 2AM? (Spoiler: It’s probably not what you’re hoping for.)
🕋 Do Muslim’s swear to god before testifying? (this will definitely get us flagged.)
🤥 What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told? (We’re all garbage humans.)

Then, the chaos officially takes over:
🤣 Try Not To Laugh: Dad Joke Edition (it’s bad... like, cry-laughing bad.)
🧓 Redneck Grandpa’s Fighting Sayings. Yeah… it’s what you would expect.
🚜 Guess the DUI Vehicle – everything from tractors to Barbie Jeeps is on the table.
🥊 Dookie’s Guide to Surviving Everything – including zombie apocalypses, women, and job interviews.

And just when you think it can’t get dumber:
🎂 Rapid-fire Happy Birthday shoutouts, because why not.
🤠 Would You Rather: Redneck Edition (You’ve been warned.)
🧂 Trying (and failing) to name every Spice Girl. (We don’t talk about what Chris guessed.)

Plus:
🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices
🛻 Telltale Signs You’re A Redneck (If you’ve ever mowed your lawn and found a car... congrats.)
📢 Dookie absolutely obliterates the MDFoodieBoyz with some top-tier food podcast slander.

And to really wrap it up with a bow:
🛠️ Ask Reddit madness – the most redneck things we’ve ever seen or done, and the best (or worst) things we’ve tried in bed.

This episode is a perfect storm of redneck logic, bad decisions, and uncontrollable laughter. Crack a beer, duct-tape your headphones to your head, and embrace the chaos. 🍻

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

0:00 – INTRO
2:52 – WHY WAS YOUR BED SQUEAKING AT 2AM?4:15 – MUSLIM TESTIMONY
7:30 – WHAT’S THE BIGGEST LIE YOU’VE EVER TOLD?
9:49 – “SPECIAL” GUEST
11:41 – DOOKIE QUESTIONS
14:12 – TRY NOT TO LAUGH – DAD JOKES
19:27 – TENNESSEE EYE DOCTOR
20:23 – THERE’S AN AMENDMENT FOR THAT…
21:32 – REDNECK GRANDPA FIGHTIN’ SAYINGS
29:18 – DOOKIE-ISMS
34:01 – GUESS THE DUI VEHICLE
41:36 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
48:31 – WOULD YOU RATHER
50:07 – DOOKIE’S SURVIVAL GUIDE
55:36 – DOOKIE’S EMPLOYMENT HISTORY
58:49 – CAN YOU NAME EVERY SPICE GIRL?
1:00:50 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
1:02:46 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE MOST REDNECK THING YOU’VE SEEN OR DONE?
1:07:13 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE BEST THING YOU’VE EVER TRIED IN BED?
1:10:06 – TELL-TALE SIGNS
1:11:59 – MDFOODIENOISE
1:14:03 – OUTRO

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