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May 21, 2025 57 mins

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Pope Jokes, Fictional Grandmas, and F* Them Kids – A Birthday Episode for the Books 🥂👵🚿

This week on The Poor Choices Show, it’s a special one—we’ve got birthday surprises, Pope jokes, and shower thoughts that will haunt you. Things kick off with the burning question no one’s ever asked: how do you train your eyes? (Spoiler: you don’t. But we try.)

Then the chaos commences:
🍷 What happens when a blind person gets drunk? (This went places we’re definitely not qualified to go.)
🙏 Pope jokes so bad we’re probably going to hell.
🦻 THEY’RE LISTENING – and no, it’s not your paranoia. It’s real.

And the highlight you didn’t know you needed:
👵 The Fictional Grandma Draft – who’s making your cookies, telling your stories, and smacking you with a slipper when you act up?
 🧠 Dad Brain is real, and apparently contagious.
 💐 Mother’s Day reflections… quickly followed by
 🙅‍♂️ “F* Them Kids” – featuring the kids next door who decided to introduce their soccer ball to the main water line…

Plus:
🎉 A HUGE Happy Birthday shoutout
🎈 A surprise visit from the birthday girl herself
🕵️ Match the criminal to the crime.
🧼 Shower thoughts that prove our brains need a factory reset

And to wrap it up:
😏 AskReddit: What’s your favorite way to ask someone if they want to have sex? (Spoiler: none of us are getting laid after this.)
🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices – featuring a beer with a label so confusing we needed a decoder ring

It’s unfiltered, unhinged, and unintentionally profound in all the wrong places. But hey, it’s somebody’s birthday—so pour a drink, hug your fictional grandma, and enjoy the ride.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

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Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
1:49 – HOW DO YOU TRAIN YOUR EYES?
4:07 – HOW DOES IT FEEL FOR A BLIND PERSON TO BE DRUNK?
6:29 – THE NEW POPE
9:52 – POPE JOKES!
16:34 – THEY’RE LISTENING!
18:30 – FICTIONAL GRANDMA DRAFT
24:54 – DAD BRAIN
26:51 – MOTHER’S DAY
33:33 – F*** THEM KIDS
40:03 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
41:43 – VISIT FROM THE BIRTHDAY GIRL!
44:35 – MATCH THE CRIMINAL TO THE CRIME
47:36 – SHOWER THOUGHTS
51:24 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE WAY TO ASK SOMEONE IF THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX?
55:07 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
55:55 – OUTRO

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