#72 HARRY POTTER & THE ORDER OF CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES

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A new relationship that you apparently need a Top-Secret Clearance to discuss…

This week on The Pour Choices Show, things start off awkward and just spiral beautifully out of control from there.

We kick off with David trying to ask Chris about his new girlfriend—only to discover she’s now governed by Fight Club rules. First rule? Don’t talk about her. Second rule? DON’T talk about her. But ironically, the only reason she exists is because she saw a clip from this podcast. You're welcome, Chris.

Then we dive into the usual buffet of chaos:

🙏 What makes a church... a church? (Is it the building, the steeple, or the tax exemption?)
 🧠 If a severely depressed person gets amnesia, do they stay depressed? (Also: who’s running the brain—you, or is it just freelancing?)
 📉 What’s something you’re probably wrong about, but refuse to fact-check out of spite?

Next up:

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Shedeur Sanders caught doing over 100mph, and the Lakers might be getting sold—because the world clearly isn’t weird enough.
 🧙 Blind Ranking Harry Potter Characters You’d Trust to Babysit (Hint: Hagrid didn’t make the cut after “the incident”).
 🎤 Chris fails to prep a segment—again—but blames it on his new girlfriend, who only exists because of the podcast he’s neglecting. Irony is alive and well.

Also in this absolute fever dream of an episode:

🧑‍⚖️ If your therapy session is illegally recorded and you confess to a crime… can you be charged? (Asking for a friend.)
😆 Try Not to Laugh – Joke Edition: Includes dad jokes, dark jokes, and questionable accents.
🎙️ Jason Bateman is one of the announcers in Dodgeball and we just realized that. Shame.
📜 Top 10 Worst Events in History, because nothing says "lighthearted comedy" like genocide and 9/11.
🥳 Happy Birthday shoutouts to celebs who may or may not be problematic now.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get weirder:

📢 Protests in LA (or were they just awkward flash mobs?)
 📂 Trump appears in the Epstein files. Probably.
 🍺 This Week’s Pour Choices: Tastes like regret with a hint of carbonation.

This episode is part therapy, part disaster, and fully unfiltered—just the way you sick bastards like it.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

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Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
4:58 – THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB
6:20 – WHAT MAKES A CHURCH A CHURCH?
8:10 – DEPRESSION AND AMNESIA
9:16 – ARE YOU YOUR BRAIN?
11:49 – WHAT ARE YOU “RIGHT ENOUGH” ABOUT?
16:38 – BREAKING NEWS!
22:07 – BLIND RANKING HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS YOU TRUST TO WATCH YOUR KID
25:39 – CHRIS’S PODCAST CONTRIBUTIONS
30:32 – EXPLAIN YOURSELF… KIND OF…
35:43 – SEEKING LEGAL ADVICE
37:24 – TRY NOT TO LAUGH - JOKES
45:33 – READY, DODGEBALL!
47:19 – TOP 10 WORST EVENTS IN HISTORY
51:40 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
53:47 – L.A. “PROTESTS”
1:07:13 – TRUMP IS IN THE EPSTEIN FILES!
1:09:05 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
1:11:40 – WOULD YOU RATHER
1:12:18 – 50 CENT AT PANERA
1:14:00 – SHOWER THOUGHTS
1:15:54 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S A PLOT HOLE THAT YOU CAN’T GET OVER?
1:19:41 – POST-PRODUCTION PROBLEMS
1:20:45 – OUTRO

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