#80 DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL

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More Bags Than Michael Kors & Other HR Violations

Chris and David are back with another episode that would definitely get them fired from any respectable workplace. These two walking liability cases tackle everything from foot-breathing to inanimate object marriages with the professionalism of drunk teenagers. Buckle up for conversations your HR department would use as training materials for "what not to say at work."

What You're Getting Into:
👜 “More bags than Beyoncé” vs. “More bags than Michael Kors” – the metaphor Olympics
 📬 Listener answers: how class reunions worked before Facebook (spoiler: shame and phone books); and other homeostasis related things…
 👟 Shoe design… if humans had to breathe through their feet (goodbye, Crocs)
 🗣️ Picking one word to say forever – and yes, Chris said that…

From there, we spiral into chaos:
💍 Which inanimate object deserves your hand in marriage?
 🧠 Unlocking first childhood memories – mostly trauma and food
 📦 The legendary Shorts Saga: Chris confronts his neighbors like Liam Neeson in Taken
📜 David finally finds his basic training letters (spoiler: not Pulitzer material)

Then it gets weird:
📰 News headlines → blockbuster movie pitches
 🐝 Bees vs. Wasps – the animal kingdom’s pay-per-view main event
 🍺 This Week’s Pour Choices – bad decisions on tap
 💬 Things men only learned once they got a girlfriend & Best comeback to “you’re ugly”
 🎂 Celebrity birthdays (we’re sorry in advance)
 📊 The Venn Diagram Game – where logic and dignity go to die

This episode is part science, part stupidity, and part petty neighborhood drama. Basically, Planet Earth if narrated by drunk idiots.

Warning: Contains more uncomfortable silences than a performance review and twice as many questionable life choices.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

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Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
00:40 – MORE BAGS THAN BEYONCÈ
1:55 – WE ASKED, WE ANSWERED
5:34 – BREATHING THROUGH YOUR FEET
7:35 – ONE WORD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
8:53 – DISAPPEARING OBJECTS
10:27 – WHICH INANIMATE OBJECT WOULD YOU WANT TO MARRY? 
12:48 – WHAT’S YOUR FIRST MEMORY?
16:30 – DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL 
21:36 – CHRIS GOT HIS SHORTS!
27:23 – BIGGEST POOL IN THE U.S.
35:05 – BASIC TRAINING LETTERS
41:05 – FACT OR CAP?
47:06 – FINGER GAMES
48:21 – JERRY JONES
50:10 – NEWS HEADLINE = MOVIE PLOTS
59:18 – BEES VS WASPS  
1:02:13 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
1:04:39 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE BEST RESPONSE TO “YOU’RE UGLY”?
1:08:00 – ASK REDDIT – MEN, WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUT WOMEN WHEN YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND?
1:12:52 – NOBODY HAS WHAT TATE HAS!
1:14:00 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:15:38– VENN-DIAGRAM GAME
1:21:01 – OUTRO 

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