How Heart Centered Entrepreneurs Can Learn to Love Networking (From the Ideal Practice Podcast w/Wendy Pitts Reeves)

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to Powerful Women Rising, a podcast for
female entrepreneurs ready to dobusiness their way.
Grab your coffee and join hostMelissa Snow, business
relationship strategist andfounder of the Powerful Women
Rising community, as sheinterviews industry experts and
shares insights on strategy,marketing, mindset and more.

(00:25):
Here you'll find the tools,strategies and inspiration you
need to feel empowered, takebold action in your business and
keep rising.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hello friends, welcome back to another episode
of the Powerful Women RisingPodcast.
I'm your host, melissa Snow.
I talk to people all the timewho want to start a podcast, or
they've thought about starting apodcast, and they're like, I
don't know, it seems so hard, itseems like so much work.
Honestly, the hardest thing isfiguring out what to say when I

(00:55):
record these introductionsbecause, like, I want to
introduce myself again, becausemaybe this is the first time
you've ever listened to thepodcast and also maybe it's not,
and you're like I couldliterally recite this
introduction for you.
And then I also feel like Iwant to say something like fun
and interesting and likeengaging, and it's just so much
pressure, you guys, it's so muchpressure.

(01:17):
Okay, I am Melissa.
I am a weirdo, but not a salesyweirdo, just a weirdo.
I am a business relationshipstrategist and I love helping
women grow their businessesthrough authentic connections
and genuine relationships, akanetworking like a human, not

(01:38):
like a salesy weirdo.
I live in Colorado Springs,colorado.
I have two dogs.
I currently only have one catshocker.
I generally am fostering catsand kittens, so I usually have
more than just my George, buttoday I only have George and I
am a Swifty, who recentlystarted working part-time at

(01:59):
Starbucks and it's funny ifyou've been listening to this
podcast for a while, because youknow I'm kind of a Starbucks
addict and that's not really whyI got a job there.
Mostly I got a job therebecause I wanted to be able to
go to work at 430 in the morningand be done by 930 or 10 and
have the whole rest of my dayleft.
So I just started a week agoand it is so much to learn.

(02:20):
I have my little flashcardshere with all the drink recipes
on it and just living the dream.
So today on the podcast, we'regoing to mix things up a little
bit.
Instead of listening to meinterview someone else, you're
going to listen to someone elseinterview me.
I'm going to share an interviewthat I did on the Ideal
Practice Podcast with WendyPitts-Reeves, and this is
probably one of the favoriteinterviews that I've ever done,

(02:41):
for a couple reasons.
One is Wendy.
She's just delightful and she'sone of those people that as
soon as you start talking to her, you're like, oh my gosh, I
love you and now you're my bestfriend.
The other reason that I reallylove her is because of the work
that she's doing in the world.
She's been a psychotherapist fora long time and now she also
works as a business coachhelping heart-centered women who

(03:02):
are in helping professions.
They're therapists, healers,yoga teachers, massage
therapists with privatepractices, who are great at what
they do but often feel superconflicted about charging for it
.
And one of the reasons that Ilove Wendy is because her work
and my work align very well.
We're both in the business ofhelping women stop playing small

(03:24):
, own their expertise and buildbusinesses that are rooted in
both service and sustainability,especially for women who feel
like they don't fit into otherspaces.
They don't want to do thingsthe way that everyone else does
them and, as it turns out, theseare usually the women that shy
away from networking because itfeels awkward and sleazy and
salesy and fake, and so Wendyand I are doing the same work in

(03:48):
very different ways.
So this podcast interview isabout networking, but it's
really about so much more, andif you enjoy it, if you vibe
with what I'm saying, if youfind Wendy as delightful as I do
, definitely check out the IdealPractice podcast.
I will put the link in the shownotes.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
You're listening to Ideal Practice, episode number
150.
Oh y'all, today's episode is sogood.
Have you ever tried networking,say at a conference or some
local professional group meeting, as a way to market your
practice, to get your name outthere, and you just absolutely

(04:26):
freaking hated it.
I gotcha, I feel ya, and ifthat's you, this episode is for
you, turns out.
As today's guest, melissa Snow,says, we are thinking about
this whole networking thing allwrong, and she's going to make
this way easier for you and forme.

(04:47):
So stay tuned.
Hi, I'm Wendy Pitts Reeves and,with over two decades of
experience in the privatepractice world, I've built my

(05:08):
six-figure business whilelearning a lot of lessons the
hard way.
This is the first podcast thatshows you how to apply the
principles of energy alignmentand strategy to build a practice
that is profit-centered butpeople-forward.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
This is the Ideal Practice.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
Podcast.
Hey folks, this is Wendy.
Wendy Pitts Reeves your host.
Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the Ideal
Practice Podcast.
As always, I'm thrilled to bewith you guys today and I have
got a treat for you today, allright.
So many times on this podcastyou have heard me say that if

(05:49):
you are great at what you do butno one knows about you because
you're like the best kept secretin town, well, the clients who
really need your help and whocould benefit from knowing you
won't know how to find you.
They won't even know you exist.
Pillar number six of myframework, the seven pillars of
an ideal practice, is promotion.

(06:10):
Like it or not, learning how topromote that is, to market your
services is just one of thosethings you've got to learn as a
business owner, and one of theways to do that is through
something we call networking.
Well, I don't know about you,but most of my clients hate that
idea and it's a little bit likepulling teeth to try to get

(06:36):
them to figure out a way toimplement that idea, and that is
exactly why I think you'regoing to love today's guest,
melissa Snow.
Today's guest, melissa Snow.
Melissa is a businessrelationship strategist and she
takes that role seriously.
She is dedicated to empoweringwomen in entrepreneurship.
She founded the Powerful WomenRising Community, which provides

(07:03):
female business owners withessential support and resources
for all kinds of business growth.
But Melissa's other mission isto revolutionize networking,
promoting authenticity andgenuine connections over those
kind of sleazy sales tacticsthat we're so used to hearing
about Y'all.
She's about how to turn what wewould typically call a

(07:26):
networking experience intosomething that is based on
connection, not transaction, andI don't know about you, but I
find that is in much morealignment with who I am and how
I like to operate, and I thinkit's going to be for you too.
In other words, we're going totalk about how to grow a
business, as Melissa says, thatis profitable, sustainable and

(07:50):
rooted in authenticity.
Good stuff, y'all, and lots ofgreat tips today.
So without further ado, let'sget in to the interview.
All right, Hello everyone, andwelcome back to another episode
of the Ideal Practice.
I am so happy to be hanging outwith you guys today because

(08:13):
we're going to have aconversation that I know is
going to make you a littlesquirmy, and I think by the time
we're done you'll be like oh,maybe that's not so bad.
After all, that's my goal fortoday.
So you've already heard alittle bit about my guest.
Let me go ahead and bring heron.
Say hello to Melissa.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
Hi Melissa, Good morning, Hi everybody.
So good to be here.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
Good morning.
I always want to say goodmorning Vietnam.
Well, melissa, you and I metjust last week and it was like
such a great conversation.
Pretty quickly I was like, ohyeah, we just need to do this,
we just need to do this.
Let's start by I always like toknow where people are, so tell
everybody where you are in theworld.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
Yeah, I'm in Colorado .
I live in Colorado.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
Springs, which is just about an hour south of
Denver.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautifulplace.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
It is beautiful.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
Yeah, it is absolutely spectacular.
Yeah we have a lot of sunshine.
A lot of sunshine, that's right.
We talked about weather lasttime, didn't we?
Yeah, so tell everybody who doyou serve, who do you work with
and how do you help them.
Let's start with that.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Yeah, so I work with female entrepreneurs in various
industries, various stages ofbusiness, and I do a couple
different things.
I run an online community forfemale entrepreneurs called the
Powerful Women Rising Community.
It is a networking community,but it's a lot more too.
We incorporate businessstrategy, we do some masterminds
, we do some coworking calls,and really the purpose of it is

(09:42):
to allow you to network, tobuild connections, to build
relationships and also work onyour business at the same time,
so that you don't have to chooseone or the other.
The other thing that you knowthat I love to do is to educate
people about networking.
I'm really on a mission tochange the face of networking
and what it is that people thinkabout when they think about
networking, because like yousaid in the beginning, a lot of

(10:05):
people, especially veryheart-centered, sensitive,
introverted- feeling people.

Speaker 3 (10:12):
You are talking about us.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
Find networking very cringy, and so I love helping
people find a way to do it in away that feels good to them,
feels authentic to them, isactually, dare I say, fun, and
also is effective and gets someresults in their business.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
That's a radical concept.
Networking is fun and the wholepoint like it's going to get
you somewhere, like there's areason why this is important.
Yeah, and you really are intothis.
Like this is your thing, likeyou, really you have built into
this.
Like this is your thing, likeyou, really you have built your,
your business around this.
And just I told you before westarted the recording that you

(10:52):
have really good energy yourself.
Like your, your online presenceis really lively and fun, which
is nice and makes it easier totalk about something as cringy
as networking.
So how the heck, how, did youget into this?
Because I have not asked youthis.
I do not know this story.
Why networking and how did youland here?
I'd love to.
I'm curious about that.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
Yeah, it's a.
It's a good question, becauseI've had a lot of different
experiences in entrepreneurship.
I never intended to be anentrepreneur.
I was working full-time as apersonal injury paralegal
working for attorneys on caraccidents Wow and I was working
full-time as a personal injuryparalegal working for attorneys
on car accidents Wow.
And I was doing somemoonlighting on the side for a
guy who had his own businesswhere he would subcontract with

(11:33):
people to write medical recordsummaries for these attorneys
and it was a great deal for himbecause he would charge these
attorneys $60 an hour.
He'd pay me $25 an hour to writethe medical summary and then he
would keep the rest, and so Iworked for him for a little
while and then he decided totake his business in a different
direction, asked me if I wantedhis clients.

(11:53):
I said, sure, I became anentrepreneur overnight, with a
full client load making money,and I was like, wow,
entrepreneurship is so fun.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
This is cool.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
Why doesn't everybody do this?
Who knew so?
Fast forward a couple of years,I got my first coaching
certification and I started myfirst business.
It was called Love Starts here.
I was a dating and relationshipcoach, and that was when I
really learned thatentrepreneurship was much
different than my firstexperience.
I thought I could just show upand say, hey, I'm a coach.

(12:24):
Who's?
ready and all the people wouldrun and throw their money at me
and it would be amazing.
And it didn't really work likethat.
And so, through a lot of trialand error, I learned a lot about
sales, a lot about marketing, alot about what works, what
doesn't work.
I wasted I will say wasted alot of time.
I wasted I will say wasted alot of time, a lot of money on

(12:46):
the program that promises to bethe thing.
That is the answer that you'vebeen missing, right?
Or this coach has this cookiecutter formula that she'll give
you for $10,000 and you followit and you'll be a millionaire
like her.
And I tried all of those thingsand in retrospect I realized
the one thing that consistentlybuilt that business and made me
money was the connections that Imade, the relationships that I

(13:08):
had built, and that really wasthe thing that was missing.
That I didn't realize was thesecret.
And so a big part of why Istarted this business is because
I wanted to save otherentrepreneurs from spending all
that time and money.
And it's not just the time andmoney that we spend on these
programs and these courses andthese things that we think are

(13:30):
going to help us, but it's alsolike it takes an emotional toll
on you, right?
Because you've invested allthis money.
This coach has promised youthat it's going to work.
You're doing all of the thingsand it's still not working.
So it's got to be you.
You must be the problem, and Iam neurodivergent in multiple

(13:51):
ways.
I am not a morning person.
I am not a type A go-getterpersonality.
I'm not a lot of the thingsthat people think when they
think successful entrepreneur,and so I really loved the idea
of helping other women find away to build their business in a
way that feels good to them,that feels authentic to them,

(14:13):
without feeling like you had toforce yourself into some cookie
cutter mold of like.
This is how it's going to work.
This is how you're going to besuccessful.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
That is so true.
Something that you said hasalready struck a chord for me.
You said something about yourealize that there's building a
business and then there'sestablishing relationships and
connections with other people,and one doesn't have to
sacrifice the other, which isnot something I think we
typically think about.
But you are absolutely right.
I talk a lot about mindset.

(14:42):
That's a lot that comes intoour level of success and how we
tend to self-sabotage, but thisis absolutely true.
I think this is a factor thatyou don't hear about this.
What you're talking about hereis what's unique about it is it
really is connection.
So you talk about it's not whatyou know, it's who you know,
but it's not who you know at asurface level.

(15:05):
It's not tangential, it's not.
You went to the chamber mixerand you sent a business card and
so great, you're rolling inmoney now.
That's not how it works.
You're talking about somethingmuch deeper, aren't you?

Speaker 2 (15:16):
Absolutely yes, yeah, and I think a lot of times
people.
One of the things that I talkabout a lot is the purpose of
networking.
A lot of people think and thisis when it becomes cringy is
when we think that the purposeof networking is to find clients
, we're going to go into theroom and find the people to sell
our stuff to.
Of course, that feels cringy tous.
I mean, I'm sure there's somepeople that doesn't feel cringy

(15:39):
too, but people like you and Ithat feels cringy.
And I always say the purpose ofnetworking really is to build
your network and there's a lotof different roles that people
will fill in your network.
Some of them are going to bereferral partners for you.
Some of them are going to bepeople that you collaborate with
.
Some of them may be yourclients, but also some of them
might be just people who are alittle further ahead than you in

(16:01):
business and can teach yousomething.
Some of them might be youraccountability partners, the
people who you know can help youwith your business strategy or
help you find what's missing,and so there definitely is that
part of networking that is aboutbuilding your business and
working on your business andimproving your business through

(16:22):
those relationships as well.
It's not all about referralsand finding clients.

Speaker 3 (16:27):
It's not all about trying to get something from
somebody else.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yes, yes, in fact, it's not about that at all.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
Yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, I love that, and soyou're already expanding just
the definition of whatnetworking is and the impact it
can have on your life, which wassomething I kind of wanted to
start with, like, why does thismatter and why should we care?
So you don't know this, but Iran a large group practice for

(16:54):
20, 25 years that I built fromthe ground up, and the thing
that made that practice work wasthe relationships that I
established with various peoplein my community, much of which I
did not through anythingrelated to the practice, but
through volunteering or servingon a board or connecting with a
group somewhere or just showingup at public events and getting

(17:15):
to know people established areputation that really served us
well over time.
Yeah, and the whole thing thatyou just said about it's not
just about selling or gettingreferrals, but you also will get
people who will help you inways that isn't about sending
you business.
It's like other things youdon't even expect.
That's also so true, as you'resaying that I'm like I can think

(17:37):
of countless examples of whereI have experienced that.
That's absolutely true.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yeah, yeah.
I remember when I was a newerentrepreneur I'd only been a
coach for only for a couple ofyears and I was having a
conversation with a woman that Imet at a networking event.
We'd met for coffee and we werejust kind of chatting about
whatever and she said somethingabout business insurance and I
said, yeah, the what is that?
She's like she says please tellme about business insurance.

(18:04):
I said I don't even know whatbusiness insurance is.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
Do I need that.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
So I mean, that's a great example of like something,
and there's a lot of those ofthings that I've just learned
over time by havingconversations with people who
were a little further ahead thanme, and even a lot of things
I've learned from havingconversations with people who
are newer in business than me.
So there's there's a lot ofvalue in all of it, and you just
never know.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
Yeah, and do you, do you not find that your own life
is richer as you startconnecting with these people?
Cause you really are like, youend up making friends with
people?

Speaker 2 (18:37):
Oh, absolutely yeah, and that's one of the reasons
that I feel so strongly aboutthis and I'm so passionate about
this is that I really startednetworking intentionally six
years ago when I moved toSouthern Colorado from Northern
Colorado, and part of it wasbecause I was building a
business, but also part of itwas because I didn't have any
friends here.
And you know, I moved with myhusband and he's great, but I

(19:01):
also wanted more than that and Ilook back on that, like I look
at how, where my life is now,where my businesses, my
friendships, everything and Ithink how different would I be
right now if I had not done anynetworking in the last six years
.
I mean, that's where all of myfriends have come from.

Speaker 3 (19:44):
That's where breakthroughs in my health
journey have come from.
It's where I've learned so muchabout my business.
I've learned so much aboutmyself.
I have learned you know peoplewho support that happen and this
is kind of cool and justyesterday.
So one of the things I do, Ihave like a little baby
counseling practice that I keepgoing and then I do coaching and

(20:05):
podcasting and in my littlebaby counseling practice I say
that because I used to have ahuge practice and I have
downsized right and what I havenow I am very focused about who
I want to work with and I tendto work with women leaders who
are at midlife and who arestressed out and all the things
that come with that.
And I have a group of support.
It's basically a support groupof sorts for these folks and

(20:29):
they are amazing human beings.
I love these women so much andthey were talking to each other
in a group chat we have abouthow their conversations with
other people other women intheir lives, in their work in
their world, other women intheir lives, in their work in
their world have deepened andchanged as a result of them
being in this group yes, which Idon't call it a networking

(20:50):
group.
But it is basically the sameconcept.
Once you get to know people andyour relationship goes deeper
because you're talking aboutmore important things, that has
a ripple effect through the restof your life.
You never know where that'sgoing to take you.
That's huge, yeah.
Yeah, and you talked aboutintroverts.

(21:10):
I'd love to hear a little bitabout that.
Let's start.
I think I want to start withthat because, as a coach, when I
work with practice ownersbecause I do get how important
relationships are I often sayyou only need five people.
I didn't tell you this, but Ialways say you need five people
to get your practice going Apreacher, a doctor, a nonprofit
contact of some sort, a friendand another therapist.
Like, if you have a deeprelationship with those five

(21:32):
people, they're going to referto you.
That's where I kind of start.
But I try to get people to goout and, like, set up coffees,
meet their colleagues, and it ishard to get them to do that
Hard.
And it is hard to get them todo that Hard especially I think,
more so today because so manypeople are leaning on telehealth
and they're locked in theiroffice all day, either
one-on-one with a client or on acomputer and to get them to go

(21:55):
out into the actual, real,physical world is tough.
They're like I don't even knowhow to do that.
What do I call?
What do I say?
Can you help those people?

Speaker 2 (22:04):
Oh, yes, yeah, so first a resource I always
recommend.
There's a book by MatthewPollard called the Introvert's
Edge to Networking.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
His first book was.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
The Introvert's Edge to Sales, and then he wrote the
Introvert's Edge to Networking,and that book really has had a
huge impact on my business.
It's kind of the basis and thestarting point of my business,
and so that's a great book.
But I think here's the thing Ioften say you know you're

(22:37):
talking about your group ofwomen and how it's not really a
networking group.
I would say that it is becauseI say networking it can happen
anywhere, that you're creating aconnection with another human
being, right?
So this is part of the thing islike we think of networking as
it happens at networking events.
It happens in networking groups, but really it can happen
anywhere.

(22:57):
And so finding the way that youlike to network, the format
that you like to network in,some people are really great
one-on-one, some people arereally comfortable having
one-on-one conversations, otherpeople not so much, and so they
prefer to be in a room of people.
One thing that I found when Istarted networking I was going
to all the things, and that waspart of how I realized that

(23:20):
there were a lot of differentformats and ways to do it.
I would go to these networkingevents that were like happy
hours basically.
So you come, you get a drink,you get a snack, you mingle, you
chat, you go home whenever youwant, right.
And that is like my worstnightmare.
And I suspect most introvertslistening to this are like

(23:42):
please, no, because I'm just notthe person that is going to
walk up to people who arealready having a conversation
and be like hi, I'm Melissa,it's so nice to meet you.
What are you guys talking about?
Like, that's not, that's neverme.
But then I found networkinggroups where, or networking
events that were more like speeddating, or where they would say

(24:03):
oh, you have the number three,you sit at that table with all
the other people who have thenumber three.
I'm going to give you a topicto talk about for 10 minutes
around the table and then you'regoing to move to a different
table.
You give me that.
I can do that all day long andlove it right.
So that's part of it is findingthe types of events, the ways

(24:24):
that you like to network, theformats that feel comfortable
and good to you.
And you know we talk people.
You know people often confuse,introvert and shy.
Yes, I'm not shy, clearly yes.
But the biggest thing is doesyour energy feel drained or do
you feel energized after?

(24:45):
And I have found there are somenetworking events and some
formats of networking and waysto networking that I actually do
feel energized after.
I don't feel drained, and sothose are the ones that I really
gravitate to.

Speaker 3 (24:58):
So the difference between those two that you just
talked about is one is veryloose and free flowing and
nobody knows what to do, and theother one is structured and you
have guidance and the structuregives you like you can operate
within that I know what to do, Ican handle this, which is
helpful.
I get that.
That makes perfect sense to me.
Yeah, yeah, give me somestructure.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
And I also have found people who like to network in
like non-networking spaces, likeyour group that you're talking
about, right, or like.
You know, I live in Colorado,so everybody here wants to do
stuff outside.
We want to hike, we want tocamp, we want to I don't want to
whitewater raft, but somepeople do Psychopaths, and so

(25:41):
sometimes it's better to justfind a group of people who are
doing something that you like todo.
Right, yes, you're inevitablygoing to build connections with
those people, even if none ofthose people are entrepreneurs
and you are a B2B provider oryou are a therapist or a healer
or whatever.
Like, you're going to findpeople in those circles and in

(26:02):
those environments who are likeyou and who know people like you
, and that allows thatrelationship to really just grow
and happen organically.
Right, you're just, we gettogether every other weekend and
we hike and we chat while wehike and we're getting to know
each other and learn about eachother, and that turns into
something.
So there's a lot of differentways to do it and I just say you

(26:27):
know, there's a lot ofsimilarities to when I was a
dating coach.
I find myself saying a lot ofthe same things now and I would
tell my clients they would go ona date and they would say that
was terrible.
I'm never going on another dateever again, as if this man has
anything to do with the next 20men that they're going to go on
a date with.
Oh, but they do, you know theydo.

(26:48):
They're all the same.
And also people listening tothis are like I don't care what
she says.
Networking events are all thesame, they're not.
So if you go to one and you'relike that was horrible, I am
never doing that again.
Just know it could be theformat.
It could be the person who'srunning the event, because a lot

(27:09):
of times the person who'srunning the event attracts
people similar to them.

Speaker 3 (27:14):
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
There's a lot of factors that could make a
difference and just keep tryinguntil you find the format and
the event and the group that youlike that works for you.

Speaker 3 (27:26):
So you've just said several things in a row that I
think I really want to highlightreal quick while I comment on
the big fluffy tail that justwalked through the image.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
I know I was trying to pretend like that didn't
happen.
Is that your dog that I justsaw?
That was my cat and he wasrunning.

Speaker 3 (27:41):
Golly, it looked like a dog.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
Which is why the camera bounced.
That was my cat and he wasrunning Golly.
It looked like a dog, which iswhy the camera bounced.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
That was funny.
I just saw a very big, fluffyblack tail.
That was very cute.
So a couple of things.
You just gave us some tips,actually, and I want to make
sure I want to capture thisbecause I think people could use
this.
One of them was try differentformats.
So, like that whole thing aboutthe happy hour thing, that makes
me that's a mix and mingle makesmall talk, mix and mingle,

(28:13):
make small talk.
And, guys, when Melissa saidthere's a difference between
being an introvert and being shy, that's a really important
point and I think most of y'allknow that, but I don't want to
assume that.
So let me just speak to thatfor just a second.
So let me just speak to thatfor just a second.
Introverts go deep with people.
They drive joy and satisfactionfrom deep conversations.
What they can't do is makesmall talk with 20 people at one

(28:34):
time.
That's exhausting, right?
So if you're an introvert, evenif you're in a crowd, you will
find that you connect with oneperson over in the corner and
you talk for two hours and itwas a success, right?
So this whole thing aboutmixing and mingling in a small
talk way, that might not workfor you at all, but a small

(28:54):
group setting or a structuredsetting like you were talking
about, that might actually feelpretty good and sort of easy to
manage.
It makes me think about whenyou do this on.
I've done some online virtualconference kind of things where
they stick you in a break roomwith people on Zoom, you know,
and I am like, oh gosh, I hatethis because you never know
who's going to show up on thescreen, you know, but with a

(29:16):
small group it's different.
So structure serves, so trydifferent formats.
That's one thing you said thatI really want to highlight and
the other thing serves.
So try different formats.
That's one thing you said thatI really want to highlight, and
the other thing second thing yousaid was I wrote down join
interest groups, so there's abetter one.
That was my shorthand.
Basically, when you do thingsthat you enjoy doing, this is
brilliant, melissa.

(29:37):
When you do things you enjoydoing, you will meet other
people who enjoy doing the samething and you will instantly
have a connection right.
So when I got involved with mylocal chamber, I served on the
board of our chamber.
At one point it was reallyreally really hard for me
because I was this social worker, woo-woo type in a room full of

(29:58):
manufacturers and architectsand lawyers and gag and I and I
left networking events in tearssometime because it took so much
energy and it was so hard tofind anything to talk about.
On the other hand, the minute Istarted connecting with women
in business actually, I helpedthem start a group for women in

(30:20):
business at the chamber that wascompletely different because we
had all this stuff.
We had all kinds of things incommon, right?
If you're a whitewater rafter,if you're a hiker, if you're an
artist, go join an artist groupor hang out at a local studio.
You will meet other artists andyou will naturally talk about
what you do and before you knowit, somebody's going to go oh,

(30:40):
wait a minute, you're acounselor, Wait a minute.
You do yoga.
Where, wait a minute.
You're a counselor, wait aminute.
You do yoga when?
Wait a minute.
You're a massage therapist.
That's cool.
I've been looking for somebodyLike it will happen, naturally.
That's what I love, what you'resaying.
So this doesn't have to beforced, you don't have to make
it happen.
And then the third thing yousaid that I think was also
really important, which Ihaven't thought about before, is
that if you try something andit doesn't work, don't assume

(31:03):
it's because of you and don'tassume it's because you can't
ever do that.
Study it, break it down.
What didn't work, what was itabout that that didn't work?
And give it another shotbecause it could be completely
different.
I think that's really good whatyou've already said.
Yeah, thank you.
Am I right?
Am I?

Speaker 2 (31:18):
getting that right yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, I love it.
I love it when you repeat thatback to me and I'm like it's
good stuff, I'm smart.
I'm not smart coming out of myown brain.

Speaker 3 (31:29):
Did I say all that?
I did say all that.
Yes, you did say all that.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
And I'll add to that last piece too.
This is something that I tellpeople a lot, especially when
they have a lot of anxiety aboutnetworking.
If they've never done it beforeor they've only had bad
experiences, don't be afraid toreach out to the person who's
organizing the event ahead oftime and ask them whatever
questions you want to ask them.
So if it's not clear what theformat is, if it's not clear

(31:55):
who's going to be there, if it'snot clear what the structure is
going to be or how many timesyou're going to have to stand up
and talk in front of the room,yes, ask them.
There is no reason that youcan't ask them.
I run in-person networkingevents.
I run virtual networking events.
People ask me questions likethat all the time.
There's never a time that I'mlike oh weird, why is she asking

(32:21):
that?
Right, yeah, and if somebody islike oh weird, why are you
asking?

Speaker 3 (32:23):
that that's probably not the event for you.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
Absolutely.
There you go, ask all thequestions you want.
Sometimes you can even ask fora list of the people who are
going to be attending ahead oftime and that gives you a chance
if you're nervous about likeI'm not going to know who to
talk to, I'm not going to knowwhat questions to ask, I'm not
going to know how to makeconversation, if you can get the
attendee list ahead of time andyou can look at that and see
like oh cool, there's two otherpeople coming who are also

(32:47):
therapists.
Right, and now I've got theirnames in my mind.
So I'm looking for them, not ina weird stalkery way, but I'm
like, oh yep, there's Janice,she's one of the names I
remember.
Or, you know, there's a couplepeople who do something similar
to what I do, but different, andmaybe I can look at their

(33:08):
LinkedIn and like, know a littlebit about them and have some
ideas of questions I can askthem ahead of time.
So any preparation that you cando like that is going to take
your anxiety down severalnotches.

Speaker 3 (33:21):
Yeah, that's a really good tip.
That's really good.
I don't think I would havethought of that either.
To call the organizer inadvance and go okay, who's good.
I think of that as a speaker.
That same idea.
When I'm asked to speaksomewhere, I will say tell me
who your audience is, who'slikely to be in the room, what
are the challenges that youthink they have?
So I know a little bit aboutwho I'm going to be talking to

(33:42):
as I sort of shape what I wantto do with them.
Absolutely the same idea.
That's really really good.
Yeah, it may make your anxietygo up, like if I was going to go
to something and they said yes,we are going to ask everybody
to stand up and introducethemselves.
Oh, I can never do that.
What would you say to that?
Because I know what I would say, but I'd love to hear what you
say yeah, if somebody's like ohwell, never mind.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
Oh gosh, I could go a lot of places with this,
couldn't we?
Well, I mean, there's a couplethings.
If you are, If you are trulylike petrified, like there's no
way and that's the differencebetween you going in that room
and not going in that room Askthe person who's running the
event Is it okay if I stayseated while I introduce myself?

(34:26):
There you go?
Is it okay if you just skip me,Right?
I mean people, I sent out anemail once I was doing an open
house for a networking groupthat I run here in Colorado
Springs and just like a guestevent, and I said at the end PS,
if you have anxiety aboutcoming to these kinds of things,
please don't let that stop.
You Find me as soon as you walkin the door and tell me I'm

(34:49):
freaking out.
I got you.
And I actually did one time havea lovely woman come to me as
soon as she walked in the doorand she was like I cannot
believe I even walked in thedoor.
But you said and I'm freakingout, you know, and I introduced
her to some people who I knewwould be kind and loving and
gentle with her.
I didn't force her to, wouldsay for the most part, these

(35:18):
people who are organizing thesenetworking events aren't here to
make you uncomfortable and,like torture you and make you
never want to come back again.

Speaker 3 (35:24):
Yeah, that's so sweet , melissa, I love that.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
Ask for what you need .
And also, if you are not theperson who's like oh my gosh,
I'm so terrified I can't evenwalk in the room, but you're
like, I really don't want to dothat, push yourself.
Because I read a book once, andI'm sure you know this too.
I read a book about socialanxiety once and it was written
by a therapist and I wish Icould remember the name of it.

(35:48):
She said people come to me allthe time saying I want you to
help me, I want you to make meless anxious so I can go live my
life.
And she would always say tothem actually it's the other way
around you need to go live yourlife in order to become less
anxious.
And it's the same withnetworking 100% you can't sit in
your car.

(36:09):
I mean, to a degree, you cansit in your car and hype
yourself up and get yourselfready to go in there.
And also, every time you walkinto a room that you're scared
to walk into, every time youstand up and introduce yourself,
every time you meet someone newand have a conversation with a
stranger, it gets a little biteasier because you're showing
yourself over and over againthat you can do it and you won't

(36:32):
die, yes, and your socialmuscles will grow right and you
will get the hang of it and Ithink you'll find sort of like
key phrases that you can use.

Speaker 3 (36:42):
You'll sort of figure out your own little format
about how to make it work,scared Like I'm going to throw
up if I go in there or if you'rehaving a panic attack.
But what I was expecting you tosay was like, if it's that bad,

(37:02):
then don't do that.
Go find another format.
But that's not what you said.
If it's that bad, considerreaching out to the host and
asking for a little help, whichis beautiful, and that's also a
good tip for those who mightwant to actually organize a
networking thing, to speak tothat.
You know what that makes methink of.
It makes me think of 12-stepmeetings, because there have
been so many times in my careerwhen I've been trying to
convince somebody to go to an AAmeeting or an NA meeting and

(37:24):
I'm like I know it's scary, butI swear, once you get in the
door you'll feel like you'reamong friends, and I have had
people that would go and justsit in the car in the parking
lot and watch the gatheringaround the door.
You know, sometimes for weeksbefore they finally got the
nerve to go in.
And I would say they will goaround the room and introduce
themselves, but you don't haveto say a word.

(37:44):
You can say I'm just here tolisten, that's all you got to
say right, that's what that mademe think of.
So just pretend like you'regoing to an AA meeting, it's
fine, you'll make it, it'll beall right.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
What would your response be to people who say
I'm too scared, I can't go?

Speaker 3 (38:01):
I would have pretty much similar.
I think I wouldn't have thoughtof telling the host that you're
needing help.
That would not have occurred tome.
So that's why I liked that,Because that's like find a way
to make this work is how I'mhearing that.
So what if you still go?
But you do it in a differentway, you modify it a little bit
and just I love the whole.
It's basically sort ofpre-paving the experience.

(38:22):
Tell them I want to come, butI'm really kind of nervous.
I just want somebody to like Ineed some help talking myself
into this.
Right, and and, and you're alsoright, if their response to
that is not warm and friendly,then don't go.
Yeah, cause that's not going tobe for you A hundred percent.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
The other thing, too, is find somebody to bring with
you.
Ah yeah, absolutely.
I mean to go back to your AAanalogy.
I have gone to at least threefirst AA or NA meetings with
somebody yes, Because it's somuch easier to walk in it and
I've said to them, like, ifyou're nervous, like let's go,
I'll go with you, I'm not afraid.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
And so that's what I've done that with networking,
I'll go with you.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
Exactly, exactly.
So if it's you know, if you'resuper nervous about it, find
somebody to go with you, that'sa great, that's a great way,
especially if you have a friendwho is an outgoing extrovert.
I have a friend like that andwhen we go to networking events,
it's like I sit at the table.
She's like my fishing pole,like she goes out, she talks to
people and she'll literallybring them back to me and be

(39:28):
like Melissa this is Lisa, shedoes blah, blah, blah and she
wants to know about this andshe'll sit her down at the table
and she'll go find somebodyelse.
I love that.
That's what we need.

Speaker 3 (39:38):
A fishing pole yeah, find your fishing pole.
Fishing pole, friend.
That's great.
Oh, that's great, dang, I'mgoing to try to think about that
, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
Yeah, I think too, and I want to ask you about this
, because I'm sure this issomething that you see,
especially working with women inleadership roles.
I think we have to talk alittle bit about imposter
syndrome, because that issomething.
First of all, I don't lovecalling it a syndrome, but
that's what everybody knows ofit as, so we'll go with it
Because, honestly, it's asyndrome that every single one

(40:10):
of us has at some point in ourlife right.
Sometimes we have flare-upsworse than others, but I think
that's one of the things thatreally holds women especially
back from networking and fromdoing it in a way that is
effective, because we thinkeveryone and this is totally how

(40:31):
I felt, especially in thebeginning, and I still feel like
that sometimes, like everyonein this room is a real business
owner Right, especially if I'mnetworking.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
Meaning they are and I'm not Exactly.
Is that kind of where you'regoing?
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
Especially in the beginning.
If I don't have any payingclients, if I don't have an
office, if I don't have awebsite, I don't have business,
like whatever we think is thething that makes us like a real
business owner.
Yes, we think is the thing thatmakes us like a real business
owner.
And I'm going to go in thisroom full of real business
owners who actually know whatthey're doing and everyone's
going to realize that I'm not areal business owner, that I

(41:06):
don't know what I'm doing, thatI don't have any paying clients,
whatever it is, and like Idon't know what we think is
going to happen, they're allgoing to laugh at us.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
They're going to like , chase us out of the room.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
I don't know in our worst nightmares and I want to
talk a little bit about that,and I would love to hear what
you think about that and whatadvice you give people, because
I do think that's something thatholds us back significantly.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
How did you get past that for yourself?
Or did you feel that yourselfwhen you first launched this?
Yeah, and you were beingintentional about putting
yourself out there.
How did you get yourselfthrough that?
How did you coach yourselfthrough it?

Speaker 2 (41:43):
I mean I still have to coach myself through it
sometimes.
I think part of it goes back tothat.
Like you just have to do it.
I think that was part of it.

Speaker 3 (41:51):
Do it scared.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
And the more you meet people and realize everyone
else even the people you thoughtwere the real business owners
are also struggling with thesame thing, maybe for different
reasons, but we're allstruggling with it at some point
in some degree.
So I think that was helpful.
I think having a coach or amentor or a therapist that can
help you work through some ofthat mindset stuff is really
helpful.
In the beginning I recorded ohmy gosh, why can't I think of

(42:21):
the name of it?
There's an app that is foraffirmations it will come to me
probably as soon as we're donewith this call and it has
affirmations on there that youcan use or you can record your
own and you can segment theminto different categories.
So I literally created aaffirmation and I recorded them

(42:43):
in my own voice.
That's part of it we don't liketo hear our own voice, but it's
important to hear our own selvessay it to us.
I love it Of like I thoughtabout how do I want to feel
walking into this room and whatdo I need to think in order to
create that feeling.
So, if I want to feel confident, if I want to feel like I, you
know, like I belong there, if Iwant to feel like I don't know,

(43:04):
comfortable all of thesethoughts that I need to think to
create that feeling, and Iwould sit in my car and I would
listen to those affirmationsbefore I walked in, just to
create that feeling of like.
And they were things like Ibelong in this room just as much
as everybody else.
Yes, I have something importantto offer to the women in this
room.
And if you think that's notactually true, think about the

(43:27):
fact that you are unlike anyoneelse in that room, right, no one
else has your education, yourexperience, your family,
upbringing, your work experience, your relationships.
Nobody else has that samecombination, your unique
combination.

(43:47):
Yeah, so there has to be thingsthat you can bring to that room
that no one else does, becauseno one else has that combination
.

Speaker 3 (43:56):
Yeah, I love the sitting in the car with the
affirmation idea which y'all,anybody could do that you could
do that with your voice memo onyour phone, like that's easy,
right.
My version of that is I wouldtell people to.
I also would sit in the car andI'd tell people to imagine the
best case scenario of what couldcome out of this.
Well, how do you want to feelwhen it's over?
How do you want to feel whileit's going on?

(44:17):
And what's the absolute coolestthing that could happen here
and just to really like thinkwell, you know, I mean it's
probably impossible, but itwould be super cool if X
happened and just play with thatidea and really see it in your
mind and feel it before you goin, so that you are going in
with your energy high.
You're still nervous, but y'all, nervous energy and excited

(44:38):
energy is the same thing, it'svery similar right, I will share
with you.
I had not thought about this,but you just reminded me the
imposter syndrome, the I'm notgood enough, I don't know enough
, I'm not smart enough, I'm notfar enough along in my career.
All of these women in my groupand these women are badass women
, like one of them just got apromotion to run a part of her

(45:01):
company that has abillion-dollar budget Like we
are talking serious badassesEvery single one of them were
terrified to come to my little,tiny little group, terrified
because of that same.
What am I going to have thatanybody else has, what I am
remembering that you and it wasawesome when they learned

(45:26):
everybody has the same feeling.
The very first time I ever hada coach call me, kind of call me
out a little bit and challengeme was to, in a way that really
really was kind of major was Iwas invited to like a weekend
kind of intensive coaching thingwith a bunch of business owners
and I did exactly what youthought, what you just said.
I thought they're all going tobe these experienced people with
six figure businesses and I amblah, blah, blah and she so

(45:48):
believed in my being there.
That was really powerful.
So having someone who believesin you is huge.
And after talking to her, Imade the commitment I'm going to
come do this.
And it wasn't a high ticketitem, it was the idea of being
in the room with quote realbusiness owners.
I sat in my car and sobbed.
I mean I sobbed.
I got off the phone and sobbedand this has been a long, long

(46:10):
time ago.
But it was fear.
It was being seen, it was beingchallenged, and I was like I
can't believe I'm doing this.
I was absolutely freakingterrified.
And you know what happened whenI got to the daggum thing.
I knew more than most people inthe room.
I had more experience than halfof them.
I was like I was like oh, whatwas I worried about?
Yeah, these, I'm fine here.

(46:32):
Yeah, better than fine here.
And what I find is that kind ofum, what if you go into it with
I'm not good enough?
Flip that into who else herethinks they're not good enough
that I can help.
That's what I like to do.
Who can I help?
So my favorite question is oh,you do what you do.
What?
How long have you been doingthat?
That's great.
So what's your greatestchallenge right now in your

(46:54):
business, in your job in yourwork.
What?
So what's your greatestchallenge right now?
In your business, in your job,in your work?
What's your greatest challenge?
Oh, that's really cool and thatwill get you going, because now
you're helping them.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
Yeah, I love that question too, because one of the
things that I get asked about alot and I'm going to segue into
a new topic here, but one ofthe things that I get asked
about a lot in networking is thefollow-up.
I went to the thing I met thepeople.
Now what do I do?
And I mean, if you're askingthat question now, what do I do?

(47:23):
You're already miles ahead of abunch of other people, because
a lot of people don't evenrealize like there's something
else to do.

Speaker 3 (47:28):
They just go to the networking thing and they're
like I networked, nothinghappened.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
Yay, I was going to ask you, but the before, the
during and the after, like howto think about that whole
process, what you had, what youyou working on right now, what's
your next big thing?
What do?

Speaker 1 (47:57):
you, what are you?

Speaker 2 (47:57):
interested in learning about all those kinds
of questions.
I like to ask those questionsbecause that gives me an idea of
how I can follow up with themin a way that provides value.
That's one of the things that Ialways recommend when people
follow up is find a way toprovide value to that person,
and so I will.
You know, if I have a roster orI have a program or something,

(48:19):
even if the person gives metheir business card, I'll make a
little note on my business cardthat is like wants to start a
podcast, right?
Or I'm struggling with growingher email list, or something
like that.
And when I go to follow up withthem in a week or two weeks I
will send an email.
I'll say hey, it was so greatto meet you at such and such
event.

(48:40):
I loved our conversation aboutwhatever, right?
Because that kind of remindsthem of who you were, because
they met a lot of people too.
Probably I loved ourconversation about this.
I just wanted to send you thisarticle I found about growing
your email list, because this isone of the things we talked
about and I thought this mightbe helpful.
Or I will hear a podcastepisode about something and I'll

(49:01):
think like, oh, I just met alady last week who was talking
about this.
I'll forward it to her and say,hey, just heard.
This made me think of ourconversation.
And that is such a great way tofollow up with people for so
many reasons.
The first is that it reallylets them know that you saw them
and heard them and valued whatthey said.
Enough to remember.

(49:22):
And, as you probably know,there are studies that show that
the impact of feeling seen andheard on the brain looks very
similar to the impact of feelingloved.
They're almost indistinguishable, and so that really is a great
way to create a connection withsomebody right off the bat in
that first follow-up.

(49:43):
The other thing I really likeabout that is that you are again
not approaching it from a whatcan I get from you?
What's?
In this for me kind of approach, right you are?
I just heard this and I thoughtof you, thought I'd share it if
it's of interest.
Saw this article, I just heardthis and I thought of you,
thought I'd share it if it's ofinterest.
Saw this article met this personand she does exactly what you
and I were just talking about.

(50:04):
Let me know if you want me toconnect you.
Anything like that is just like.
I'm here to help.

Speaker 3 (50:11):
I'm not expecting anything in return, and it's
genuine.
It's genuine You're notmanipulating.
It's real.
Like I really do want to helpand this is a cool thing you
might like.

Speaker 2 (50:18):
Yeah, and that's an important piece of it too is the
intention behind it right?
Yeah, do go at it from, andpart of this just requires you
to trust me, part of this justrequires you to believe what I'm
saying is true.
But go at it from a space of ifI just continue to provide
value and support other peopleand lift other women up, it's

(50:41):
going to come back to me.

Speaker 3 (50:42):
Yeah, that's true and it is.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
We don't have to do a one-for-one thing.
I will tell you I have a lot ofnetworking nightmare stories.
But there's a woman that I metat a networking event years and
years ago and we've kind of juststayed in touch via social
media.
I comment on her stuff andyears ago and we've kind of just
stayed in touch via socialmedia.
You know I comment on her stuffand vice versa.
And I was wanting to expand thenetworking group that I run

(51:04):
here into further East, which iswhere she lives, and she runs a
community group out there thathas a bunch of people in it.
So I sent her a message.
I said hey, really wanting toexpand out East, is it cool if I
make a post in your Facebookgroup about this event that
we're doing and it's just a?
It's like a community newsgroup, right?

(51:26):
And she responded to me and shesaid hi, please remind me the
last time that you sent me areferral, because I'm having a
hard time remembering.
Oh, my gosh, are you kidding me?
I mean, first of all, with thepassive aggressiveness, but also
, this is not the approach wewant with networking.

(51:48):
We are not sitting at homekeeping track of like oh, wendy
sent me an article today,keeping score.
Wendy sent me a client, dang, Ibetter send Wendy something
because Wendy sent me a client.
Dang, I better send Wendysomething because Wendy sent me
a client.
That's awesome.
Or, like you know, you reachout to me and say hey, I just
did this podcast interview.
It was so good, your peoplewould love it.
Can you share it?
Well, wendy, I'm looking at myscorecard and no, that's awful,

(52:13):
that's really awful.
That's not how we're doing it.
So we're doing it, so we'reapproaching it from I want to
provide value, I want to behelpful.
This is how I create real,genuine connections and it's
going to come back to me andwhen you come at it from that
energy and from that intention,it will come back to you.

Speaker 3 (52:29):
Yeah, that's huge.
You said to me when we talkedbefore that one of the things
that was important to you is tohelp people understand how
networking can be aboutconnection, not transaction.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:42):
Which is exactly what you're talking about here.
I would like run to the run inthe other direction, like that
woman to be like it'll be, youknow, snowballs melting in hell
before I be like, yeah, no wayam I ever sending you anybody
because of that kind of energy.
Why would I want to even talkto you?

Speaker 1 (52:57):
That's awful yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
Yeah, so.
So I hear in that, I hear checkyourself right.
So if you're, if you're goinginto it like you know, we may
not admit it, but if you'regoing into it thinking, well,
maybe I can get something fromthis, you might want to be
careful about that.
Make sure that you are showingup from an authentic place of
service.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:17):
All within reason, like not being crazy.
Not being ridiculous because myfolks can take service to an
extreme, but protect yourself,take care of yourself.
But this should come easy forus.
This kind of service right,help people.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
That's good.
Yeah, we're not talking aboutgiving your services away for
free, no Right?

Speaker 3 (53:37):
Wendy says thank you and oh yes, thank you, or I will
come hunt you down.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
But taking a couple of minutes to send an article
you found or you know.
I get these emails from podcastguestscom about these podcasts.
Maybe that's how we connected,I don't remember, but there's
these podcasts who are lookingfor guests, and there'll be ones
at the bottom that are likewe're looking for people who
specialize in travel or we'relooking for people who
specialize in I don't knowaliens, and then I'm like oh, it

(54:05):
takes me 30 seconds to forwardthat to the travel agents that I
know and say, hey, look at thebottom, it might be a good one
for you, right, and that helpspeople First of all.
It keeps you top of mind withpeople, right, because that
helps people First of all.
It keeps you top of mind withpeople, right, because they're
seeing your name and they'relike, oh yeah, I remember her,
gosh, that was so nice of her, Ilove that lady yeah.
And that's how you create theconnection.

Speaker 3 (54:25):
What else would you do for follow-up?
Are there other things that youhave in mind?

Speaker 2 (54:28):
Yeah, yeah, this also is how can you?

Speaker 3 (54:31):
make this effective.

Speaker 2 (54:41):
Like what do to make this useful?
Yeah, yeah, this also is apersonalized answer, right?
Because it's funny, because theone size fits all answer sells,
right, if I have this likehere's the formula for follow-up
one through 10, a thousanddollars.
I'll give it to you, Promise itworks.
People love that.
And then I'm like well, there'sa lot of different ways that
work.
Let's find yours.

(55:02):
No, that sounds like a lot ofwork.
Just give me the 10 steps.
But really, if you are doing itin a way that works for someone
else and it doesn't work foryou, you're going to get so
burned out.
Number one, it's probably notgoing to work that well for you,
but number two, you're alsogoing to get really burnt out
and frustrated and discouraged.
I have this conversation withwomen in the powerful women
rising community a lot, becauseI hear over and over again I

(55:24):
know I should be on social media.
I know I should do more onsocial media.
I'm really going to try to domore on social media this week.
I just really hate it and I'malways like why though?

Speaker 3 (55:41):
Why should you do?

Speaker 2 (55:41):
more on social media.
Why do you have to?
Who said you have to If youreally hate it that much?
I have a friend who's built aconsistent six-figure business.
She hates social media.
She's built this businessthrough going out and meeting.
She's my fishing pole friend,actually, and that's how she's
built her business right.
So, none of this is a have tothing I personally enjoy.

(56:03):
There's some social media thatI really enjoy.
I was trying to force myselfwith Instagram for a long time
and then I was like take yourown advice, why are you forcing
yourself?
I don't love Instagram.
I love Facebook.
I love threads.
That's where I engage withpeople and that is part of my
follow-up strategy.
I know I should be on LinkedIn.
I know that's where theentrepreneurs are.
I just cannot with LinkedIn.

(56:26):
I don't know why.
I find it so boring and justlike bleh.

Speaker 3 (56:32):
Yes, and every single connection you make, they pitch
you a minute later.
I hate it.

Speaker 2 (56:37):
I just don't with LinkedIn.
But Facebook and threads aredefinitely part of my follow-up
strategy because I will followpeople that I meet.
I will engage with themthoughtfully.
I'm not talking about like,just like their posts.
That's not going to really doyou any good.
Or just like comment, greatpost.
But, you know, actuallythoughtfully engage with them

(57:01):
once in a while.
And I'm not saying that you haveto engage with these people
daily, right, even once a monthis fine.
It's the consistency of it thatis going to create that
connection and build thatconnection.
So there's a lot of differentways to do it.
You don't have to have a coffeedate with every single person
that you meet at a networkingevent.
You can follow up with them byemail, you can follow up with

(57:22):
them in a voice note, you canfollow up with them on social
media.
Any of those things will work,even if, let's say, you met
somebody last month at anetworking event, you met five
people that you think these arepeople I'd like to get to know a
little better, and next monthyou find a new networking event

(57:42):
that you're going to go to,email those five people and say
I loved meeting you at such andsuch.
I'm going to this one on Friday.
It looks kind of cool.
I've never been, but if you'dlike to go, I'll see you there,
right?
Oh, that's good, I like thatEasy way to follow up with those
people and also meet new peopleand I know I'm talking a lot,

(58:03):
but this part is important.

Speaker 3 (58:04):
This is good yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:13):
People get really overwhelmed with follow up
because they think they need tofollow up with every single
person they met or every singleperson on that roster.
Every single person was at thatevent.
You do not need to, nor shouldyou, follow up with every single
person that you met.
I want you to think of it aslike the cake tasting, right?
So you go to the cake tastingand you try the chocolate cake,
the vanilla cake, the yellowcake.

(58:35):
You try the yellow cake withthe raspberry frosting, you try
the yellow cake with thechocolate frosting, right?
You try all the things and thenyou decide which of these cakes
do I want to eat some more of?
Until you get to the point thatis like which of these cakes is
the cake I want to eat on mywedding day?
I usually use an online datinganalogy for this.
I don't know why I went towedding cake Because it makes me

(58:56):
hungry.
Online dating analogy for this.
I don't know why I went towedding cake because it makes me
hungry.
So I want you to think of itthat way, right?
So, and I think of it like theanalogy I usually use is with my
dating coaching clients.
I would use a funnel, so like,if you're looking at the funnel
from the top down, everybodyoutside is all the people on the
online dating app.
Yeah, everybody in the nextlevel is like the people that
you have swiped right on andthey've also swiped right on you

(59:18):
.

Speaker 3 (59:19):
Right.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
For those of you who have been married 26 years, that
means you both liked each other.

Speaker 3 (59:25):
Thank you for that clarification.

Speaker 2 (59:26):
That means you get to send messages to each other,
right?
So now there's another categoryof people that you're messaging
.
There's another category ofpeople that you maybe have a
video chat with.
There's a smaller category ofpeople that you meet for ice
cream right?
Not everybody moves down thecategories Right, you're
narrowing it down.
People get left behind in thefunnel and that's okay.

(59:46):
I want your people to hear thisespecially.
This does not make you a badperson.
Yes, you do not have to followup with all of the people.
You do not have to have asecond coffee date.
You do not have to follow upwith all of the people.
You do not have to have asecond coffee date.
You do not have to have asecond email with anyone.

Speaker 3 (01:00:03):
Y'all, she's giving you a look.
I just want you to know this.
You may not see it, but she'sgiving you a look.

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
And it doesn't mean that you're not a nice person,
right?
It doesn't mean that you don'tcare.
It doesn't mean everybody'sgoing to think like, oh, I met
her and she never talked to meagain.

Speaker 3 (01:00:18):
No, they don't even remember half the time, but the
one or two that you like, thatyou connected with, they will be
surprised that you rememberthem and will be touched by it.
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
So I just think, like at each stage you're thinking
and you're using differentcriteria of like yeah, I liked
this person enough.
You know, I could see myselfhaving another conversation with
them.
I could see us being valuableto each other's businesses or to
each other's lives.
I'll exchange a couple emails,I'll follow them on LinkedIn,

(01:00:51):
I'll engage with them here,whatever it is right, and then
there may be some point as thereoften is when social media is
involved that you're like okay,nevermind, don't really think I
want to follow up with thatperson again Not my people.
Or you know, you thought, oh,I'm really going to like Wendy,
I'm going to have coffee withWendy.
We go and have coffee and I'mlike I don't think I'll have

(01:01:13):
coffee with Wendy again.
Right, I'm the opposite,Clearly, I'm like I want to have
coffee with Wendy again.
Right, I'm the opposite.
Clearly, I'm like I want tohave coffee with Wendy all day,
every day.
But so just think of it likethat too, as like you don't have
to put your all into all of thepeople.

Speaker 3 (01:01:26):
A hundred percent.
You're also saying giveyourself permission to weed
people out and, and I'm thinking, pay attention to people, sort
of on two levels.
One I might need to know thisperson because it's just a good
helpful contact to have.
Like they have a skillset Imight need sometime.
Or I might have a client whocould use what they offer and
maybe we're not going to bebesties but it's useful to know

(01:01:47):
about them.
So maybe I should follow upenough to get to know a little
bit more about what they do.
I'm not going to invite them tocome watch a movie with me,
right, and then there'll beother people that you meet that
you just there's just somethingabout them.
Like she had a nice smile we had.
I just kind of liked her energy, she was just easy to talk to.
I kind of want to know her abit more and you have no idea
why you just it's just that Iwould say follow that, listen to

(01:02:09):
your intuition and you'resaying so, be, be intentional
and thoughtful and deliberateabout how you process all of
this and be kind to yourself.
Hang out with, like go deeperwith the people you want to go
deeper with period.
And also the folks who couldserve a serve a role in some
point.
Yeah, that's good, I like that.

(01:02:33):
Yeah, yeah, that's really good.
Yeah, there's a saying you knowthis in the business world of
the fortune is in the follow-up.
Yeah, so tell me, how do youget from you're a nice person, I
want to know you better tosomething that does bring income
or business?
How do you?
Because that's a line you haveto cross at some point.
That also people tend to getstuck at, I think.

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
Right.
I can send you articles all daylong, but at some point I'd
kind of like to work with you,right, exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
Yeah.
So I think the first thing toknow is that it takes time and
again, this is not a sexy thingfor me to sell.
Everybody else is like I canteach you to make six figures in
five minutes following myfive-step plan, and I'm like I
can help you figure out your ownway, and it'll take a really
long time.

Speaker 3 (01:03:22):
Yes, so true.

Speaker 2 (01:03:29):
But I will say this is much more sustainable than
the other.
There is a definition from along time ago, a definition of
the word networking that is, abroadcast system of multiple
transmitters, and obviously thatrelated to like TV or radio or
something like that.
But I love that definition interms of business networking,
because that really is whatmakes it so much more
sustainable than any otherbusiness growth method.

(01:03:50):
Because if I've put in the timeand the energy and the
dedication to creating arelationship with you and I've
got a message to send to myhundred people in my network,
yeah, but you also have ahundred people in your network
that you can send the message to, right?
And so now I've got thisbroadcast system that's not just

(01:04:11):
my own transmitter, I've got abunch of transmitters that are
transmitting it to theirnetworks, yeah, so, and that
just keeps multiplyingexponentially until the end of
time.
There's no other method ofmarketing or business growth
that does that.
So it is an investment.
It does take time, but it isworth it.
So I think of the analogy asevery summer, I know marigolds

(01:04:36):
or morning glories are supposedto come back every year.
Mine don't, because they'replanted above ground and it's
Colorado and their roots freeze.
But every year I plant morningglories from seed and if you've
ever planted something from seed, you go out there and you water
the dirt every day, and everyday you're like I assume
something's happening.

(01:04:57):
I have no idea.
But you keep going out there andwatering dirt and every day
you're like I hope somethingactually happens.
And then one day you go outthere to water the dirt and
there's a little tiny plant andyou're like I think something
might be happening, right.
And by the end of summer you'vegot these beautiful morning
glories.
That is a lot like networking.

(01:05:18):
You are watering dirt andyou're hoping something happens,
and eventually it does.

Speaker 3 (01:05:23):
Let's water some dirt y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
But you have to water the dirt right, like you have
to make it happen.
You have to have planted theseed, you have to have the right
soil, you have to water it theright amount of times, get it
the right son, et cetera, etcetera.
So there is that beginningstage where you are just getting
to know the other person,they're getting to know you,
you're deciding if you like eachother, you're building trust

(01:05:47):
with each other.
Right?
No, like and trust.
We all go back to that and it'sreally true, because that's who
we want to do business with.
and that's who we want to befriends with, so that does take
time, as it should.
We want to be friends with, sothat does take time, as it
should.
And so you go through thatperiod, and that happens in a
lot of ways email we're havingcoffee, I'm inviting you to this
thing, we're hanging out atthis place, whatever it is, at

(01:06:10):
some point, if you decide Iactually want this person to be
a referral partner for me, or orI might want them to be a
client.
Yeah, or I actually want tocollaborate with them on a
project or something like that.
Yeah, I think the way that youapproach it again going back to
the intention the way that youapproach it is going to make the

(01:06:31):
difference whether they areexperiencing it as you being a
human or you being a salesyweirdo.
Right, if they like you andthey've built trust with you,
they're less likely toexperience you as a salesy
weirdo.
If they've just met you andyou're like hey, I would love
for you to be a referral partnerfor me, they're like I barely
know what you do.

(01:06:51):
So, getting to that point andthen just approaching it with a
conversation like what is yourintention and be clear about it
you don't have to be weird aboutit, but just say, like you know
, I've been thinking about doinga workshop on such and such and
I just keep coming back to youand I think doing this workshop
together would be so cool.

(01:07:11):
It'd be a way for me to get infront of your audience, you to
get in front of my audience, andyou have this expertise that I
don't have.
Would you be interested intalking about that more, right?
Or we've been, you know, we'vebeen getting to know each other
for a long time.
We've had conversations aboutthis and this.
I really think that's somethingthat I could help you with Are
you interested?
In having like a consultationcall with me.

(01:07:34):
And that's an important piece,too, is that this conversation
and the consultation or thesales call are separate
conversations.

Speaker 3 (01:07:42):
That's good they are never the same conversation.

Speaker 2 (01:07:46):
If I meet you at a networking event and you say,
hey, I'd love to have a 30minute Zoom, get to know you
better.
You better not sell to me onthat 30 minute zoom, even if I'm
saying all of the things, I'mlike oh, wendy, I just moved
into this leadership positionand I have all these
responsibilities and I'm sonervous and everything is
screaming Wendy she's your idealclient.

Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
You can help her Really, for real.
Give me a call On that 30minute call.

Speaker 2 (01:08:12):
It's so true.
What you can say to me is Iwork with women exactly like you
all the time.
I know I could help you.
If you want to set up a consult, call anytime, I'm here, right.
Separate conversations.

Speaker 3 (01:08:28):
I love that, because you are being clear about who
you are and what you can do tohelp.
This is again.
This is selling a service whichis important to me, but you are
asking them for permission.
You're asking them to opt in,or giving them the choice to opt
in to that conversation, whichis much more respectful and much
more empowering and muchcleaner.

Speaker 2 (01:08:48):
So that's good.
That's how this is nottransactional.
I love that, yeah, and that'swhy we're keeping those
conversations as completelyseparate calls and we are giving
the person the option toconsent to having that call,
right, yeah, yeah, so um andsame with being somebody
becoming somebody's referralpartner.
You're thinking like man yougot.

(01:09:08):
We work with very similarpeople in very different ways.
I would love to be able to sendmy people to you.
I would love for you to sendpeople to me if they meet this,
this and this criteria.
Would you be open to having aconversation about that Right,
because there are certainconversations we need to have
that we probably haven't had yetin order to become good
referral partners for each other.

(01:09:29):
Who do you want me to send themto?
How do you want me to send themto you?
What should I, what can I tellthem to expect?
You know all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:09:36):
Those are great questions.
I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:09:38):
Yes, yeah, but again making it a separate
conversation and asking them areyou open to having a
conversation about that sometime, not just jumping?
This is when we become weirdosand this is when people are like
I hate networking, right,because I thought I just showed
up to have coffee with you andnow you're like I want to be
your referral partner.
What do you think about that?

Speaker 3 (01:09:57):
And I'm like I wish I would never come to this coffee
.

Speaker 2 (01:10:01):
That's what I think about that.

Speaker 3 (01:10:02):
I used to have a coach that would say you don't
take somebody out to lunch andgo, so you want to get married.
You know, you don't go from oneto like you've got to build it
slowly, but I like what you'resaying.
This is really good advice toseparate those conversations and
it also this might relieve alittle pressure for people,
because I think for some of youguys who are listening, some of

(01:10:23):
you may feel like you'resupposed to find a way to get
the conversation at that point.
You're supposed to be nice andsay all the right things, but
get yourself to the point whereyou're asking for the business.
What Melissa is doing is givingyou an in-between step here.
Build the relationship firstand then don't avoid the topic.
But when the timing is right,say if you would like to.

(01:10:46):
I'd love to have.
Would you be open to aconversation?
Whatever, it's fair, it's clean, it's respectful, it's built
over time.
That's great and that shouldfeel good to you.
The thing that I want tochallenge you all about is that
this is the part you won't getto of offering to work with
people.
That's the part you will avoid,and I know that from personal

(01:11:08):
experience because I used toavoid it.
So you do need to get there,but it's not a full court press.
It's an invitation when thetime is right, and it's done in
a very special way.
I love that, melissa.
That's really good advice.
That's great.

Speaker 2 (01:11:22):
Yeah, yeah, and that's a great point that you
make too, because a lot ofpeople I see, sometimes people
who teach networking saynetworking is really just making
friends.
No, it isn't.
We are not here to make friends.
I mean, we will make friendsand it'll be great, and there
will be people that we havecoffee to that we never get to
that conversation with becausewe just want to be friends with
them, and that's fabulous, right, but that's the cherry on top.

(01:11:45):
That's not why we came.
And so if you are approachingnetworking as this is just
friendship, we're all justmaking friends.
That's why it's not getting youa result in your business.
You have to get to that pointof okay, how can we work
together to benefit each other,to support each other, to make
this something that isbeneficial for both of our

(01:12:08):
businesses?
You have to have thatconversation.
You have to have that.

Speaker 1 (01:12:11):
Good, and if you're doing it in?

Speaker 2 (01:12:13):
this way, where you're approaching it from a
very like clean space, you'reseparating the conversations and
you are inviting them to theconversation and giving them
permission to not have theconversation.

Speaker 3 (01:12:26):
Then it shouldn't be scary, right, right, and you
know what I think.
One last point I want to makeabout this is this is showing up
as a leader.
This is what it means to be aleader in your business, which
is something y'all know I harpon sometime, like your up as a
leader.
This is what it means to be aleader in your business, which
is something y'all know I harpon sometime Like.
Your job as a business owner isto lead the conversation and to
ask for the business in the waythat Melissa is teaching you

(01:12:48):
today.
But this goes back to theimposter syndrome when you walk
into the room with this sort ofshrinking shoulders down, head
down, trying to avoid looking atanybody, pulling your phone out
all the time.
Put the dang phone away.
Make yourself, make eye contact.

Speaker 2 (01:13:05):
No, she's giving you a look.
Yeah, I'm giving you a look.
Put the phone down.

Speaker 3 (01:13:10):
Put the phone down and go make a connection with
somebody who could use afriendly face in that moment.
But lead.
I really.
Really this is a thing for mebecause I'm so.
I'm a little irritated,honestly, at the sort of
milquetoast energy that I seefrom people.
I'm like we, your clients, yourpotential clients, need you to

(01:13:34):
lead, show up and show me thatyou got something right.
So go into it with theconfidence that you deserve to
have with someone who has thisridiculous amount of experience
training life.
You bring so much to the table,so show up and lead and ask for
that business in exactly theway Melissa's teaching you.

(01:13:55):
This is so good, so good.
I get a little bit on a soapboxbecause I'm kind of this is
sort of a thing for me lately.
It's like I'm probably gonna doa whole episode on this because
I'm super conscious of itlately.

Speaker 2 (01:14:05):
Yeah it's great.
Yeah, show up, show up anddon't be hesitant, Be confident
go yeah, and you don't have towait for someone else to be like
, hey, I'm interested in yourservices or, you know, I might
want to refer somebody to you.
Like, you can take theinitiative and you should.

Speaker 3 (01:14:25):
Yeah, One of the sort of sideways ways I used to in
the very beginning when I wasterrified of everything.
When I first started mypractice, I was making myself go
to these like professionalgroup things in the neighboring
town where I live.
It's a bigger city.
I live in a small town, 30,000people, but there's a 600,000.
I live outside of Knoxville,Tennessee.

(01:14:46):
I would go to things over thereand over there it's across the
river, we call that over thereand I would say, if you need
anybody in Blount County, keepme in mind, I'm over there.
Which was a way of kind of likea soft sell, Like keep me in
mind over here.
That did work.
Something as simple If you needanybody who's looking for help

(01:15:08):
with their kids, keep me in mind.
If you need anybody who'slooking for help with their
dating life, keep me in mind.
Like that alone is something,yeah, but you can do better.
That was sort of my wimpy start.
You can do better.

Speaker 2 (01:15:22):
Yeah, it's a great start.
A wimpy start is better than agood start.

Speaker 3 (01:15:27):
Melissa, this has been so good.
I've made a list of like allthese tips.
It really kind of flows intolike, oh, do this, do this, do
this.
It's really great.
Kind of flows into like, oh, dothis, do this, do this.
It's really great.
You have reinforced some thingsthat I want people to hear.
You've thrown out some newstuff I have not thought of
before.
Brilliant, it's been so good.

(01:15:48):
Let's start.
Let's do this.
Tell people about yourcommunity and about your
networking things, because thatcould be a great place for them
to practice.
Yeah, yeah absolutely so.

Speaker 2 (01:15:58):
I run a monthly virtual speed networking event
that's open to everyone.
It is the first Tuesday ofevery month from 11 to 12
mountain time, and you can gettickets on my website it's
powerfulwomenrisingcom, and Ireally these events are so fun.
We have women from all over theworld.
We usually have somewherebetween 60 and 80 women on these

(01:16:19):
calls.
There is structure, so you doget put in breakout rooms, you
do get a topic to talk about,but it's not like those virtual
events.
You've been to where, like Iwent to one and I was so
impressed because this woman hadlike 300 people on her virtual
and I was like, wow, what is shedoing?
I get put in my first breakoutroom with like six other women.
Five of them have their camerasoff and none of them are

(01:16:42):
talking.
Oh, that's awful.
And so I get in there.
I'm like hi, and no oneresponds and I'm like okay, so I
sit for a little bit and then Igo back to the main room.
I tell her nobody had theircameras on, no one was talking.
She's like oh gosh, so sorry.
She puts me in another breakoutroom.
Same thing.

(01:17:03):
I'm like okay, I'm out For real.
This is not going to happen atthe Powerful Women Rising
Virtual Speed Networking event.
We have the most awesome womenwho come to that event.
They are amazing and I alwayshave people who say I hated
networking before.
I never thought I would saynetworking was fun.
I was so nervous to come andpeople always love it.
So if that's you, you want toconnect with the people, you

(01:17:23):
want to practice talking aboutwhat you do, introducing
yourself, making connections ina space that is very safe and
judgment-free.
Love to have you on the virtualspeed networking event.
You actually can attend yourfirst one at no cost if you use
the promo code FIRSTTIME.
Oh, I love that.

Speaker 3 (01:17:43):
Tickets are only $10, but you can also come to your
first one with the promo code offour stars.
Oh my Lord, y'all pay the $10.

Speaker 2 (01:17:49):
Just pay the $10.

Speaker 3 (01:17:50):
Support a sister Pay $10.

Speaker 2 (01:17:52):
I like the promo code because it takes away your
excuse, right, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, paying $10 might be
terrible.
And then I also run, as Imentioned, the Powerful Women
Rising community, which is anonline community for female
entrepreneurs.
It's really just about womensupporting women.
We have amazing mastermindcalls where you can bring any
topic, challenge, mindset, issue, something you want feedback on

(01:18:16):
, something that you're workingon or you're confused about, and
we have women in the communityin all different industries, all
different experience levels.
You can get input from them,get ideas, get new perspectives.
There's opportunities to getbusiness coaching from me.
We do coworking calls, we donetworking calls where you
really get to know each other ona deeper level, really

(01:18:37):
understand each other's business, who each other's best referral
partners are, how to make thatreferral.
So it's a lot about learning toa lot of these things that we
talked about today, justlearning to be better at
networking and do it in a waythat feels good to you.

Speaker 3 (01:18:53):
Yeah, that's so good and you can I mean, it's easy
for anyone listening to this totell what it would be like to
work with you and what it wouldbe like to be in any of these
groups that you're running,because you're so warm and
welcoming and you have a greatsense of humor.
You have a great sense of humor,which makes it easier, actually
makes it easier, and y'all thefact that she gives you a topic

(01:19:15):
to talk about.
You know that means you don'thave to go thinking what do I
say?
It will come to you.
So just trust yourself, it'llbe fine.
That's a great little littlething.
It's like those card decks youput on your family table, that
dining table, so you havesomething to talk about at
dinner, right, same idea.
I've done that at conferences.
I used to run a.
I've run a couple ofconferences over the years and I
used to put.
One of the things I did at someof them was to put a question

(01:19:37):
under their plate that theydidn't know was there.
And at some point I would say,turn over your plate.
Before they had food, of course.
Turn over your plate and thenturn to your person on your left
and right and talk aboutwhatever that topic was.
You know something like that oh.

Speaker 1 (01:19:51):
I love that, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:19:53):
This has been so good .
Thank you so much.
I might check out yournetworking thing myself because
you know it's hard to get outthere.

Speaker 1 (01:20:00):
Yeah, so that's really lovely.

Speaker 3 (01:20:01):
Yeah, one of the things I like to do.
We will put all of that in theshow notes below.
I'm also going to look up thatbook that you mentioned by
Pollard.
I'm going to try to find that,and so we'll make it y'all
really easy to find her.

Speaker 2 (01:20:17):
You also have a podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:20:18):
I do Yep Also called powerful woman rising.

Speaker 2 (01:20:19):
So if you just remember powerful woman rising,
you can't there's a theme youcan't miss it yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:20:23):
So we'll.
We'll have all that down below.
This really has been helpfuland fun and thank you so much.
I knew it would be.
I think where I always like towrap up with folks is to ask you
is there anything that Ihaven't asked you, anything we
haven't talked about, oranything that you just feel
called to share that you feellike would make this

(01:20:45):
conversation complete?

Speaker 2 (01:20:50):
Oh, that's a great question.
You know I touched on it alittle bit, but my intuition
tells me to say it again, so I'mgoing to say it again.
You do not have to build yourbusiness the way that everyone
else says you have to build yourbusiness.
You do not have to follow theexpert blueprint, the cookie
cutter, the 12-step plan.
It works for some people.

(01:21:12):
It doesn't work for otherpeople, right?
Part of what we miss is likeyeah, susie followed this
10-step plan and she made sixfigures.
But she also had a huge network10,000 people on her mailing
list and a degree in marketingbefore that right, she didn't
tell us any of that.
She just said, I followed this10-step plan and made six
figures.
So find the way.

(01:21:33):
And I feel like I said I feelso strongly about this because I
spent so much time trying toforce myself to do it a
different way, trying to forcemyself to be somebody different
and get up early and you know,have have be who I thought I
needed to be in order to there'sthe fluffy tail again.
Be who I thought I needed to bein order to be taken seriously,

(01:21:55):
in order to be seen as anexpert, in order to be
successful in business.
And once I started, really justlike leaning into who I was and
what my strengths were andworking with myself rather than
against myself that's whenbusiness happened, and it
happened much more easily,because it was more in alignment

(01:22:16):
with who you are, which alwaysworks so much better.

Speaker 3 (01:22:21):
You are 100% right.
This is what I mean by idealpractice.
An ideal practice for oneperson is going to be very
different than what it is forsomebody else, and when you are
working against yourself, it'salways going to be hard.
You may still get there, butyou will wear yourself out along
the way.
But when you do what you'resaying, melissa, and just like

(01:22:41):
good lord, honor your energy andhonor what's natural for you,
learn strategies, try things,don't be afraid to put yourself
into something that's a littlescary, because sometimes you'll
figure out new things that youdidn't even know you liked and
knew you could do.
But but always, always, always,always, honor your way and what
feels right for you, causethat's the only thing that's

(01:23:02):
ever really going to work.
So love it, that's ideal.
That's love it, it's perfect.
Thank you so much, so much.
What a great way to end.
I am always, always, thrilledwith the answers people come up
with for that question, causeit's always, just always, just
perfect, and that was noexception.
Okay, good, thank you.

(01:23:24):
All right, everybody.
Thank you for hanging out withus today.
I think we have given you quitea bit to chew on.
I hope this might be the kindof episode you want to go back
and listen to and take notes,honestly, because there have
been lots of little bits in herethat you can literally
implement today.
Oh, you know what I didn't askyou, melissa?
I'm sorry y'all, I don't needyou to do this at the end, but
it's an important question whendo people find networking events

(01:23:46):
to go to Other than the thingswe talked about already, about
volunteering or finding thingsyou're interested in?
Like, literally, how do youfind things to go to?
Do you have any like two orthree specific places to look?

Speaker 2 (01:24:03):
Yeah, I mean you can Google it.
If you're looking for somethingin person in your area, google,
of course, is a great reference, I also.
You can find stuff on Meetup.
You can find stuff onEventbrite.
Many of the new people who cometo the Virtual Speed Networking
event come from Eventbrite, sothose are all really good
resources too.

Speaker 3 (01:24:16):
Oh, that's good.
I hadn't thought aboutEventbrite.
I wanted to ask you thatbecause that's also like OK,
you've convinced me.
Where do I start?
Yeah, ok, all right, y'all.

Speaker 1 (01:24:27):
Now I'm going to quit .
That's a wrap on this week'sepisode of Powerful Women Rising
.
Thanks for hanging out with us.
If you love the podcast, makesure to subscribe, share it with
a friend, write a review or buyus a coffee.
Your support helps more womenlike you step into their power
and grow their businesses in away that feels real and true to
them.
Want to keep the party going.

(01:24:48):
Check out the show notes fordetails on our next virtual
speed networking event, or joinus in the powerful Women Rising
community.
Until next time, remember thatbuilding a business your way is
the best way.

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