March 24, 2024 • 22 mins
Are your sales conversations forming relationships or missing the mark? In this episode of "Prepare to Win," David and Grace discuss the lost art of conversation. The key to comfortable conversation is knowing how to ask good questions and actively listen. Tune in to learn more.
Connect with us at https://preparetowin.com
Call or Text David @ 765-560-7338
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
David Lowe (00:00):
On today's episode, learn how to turn good questions
into comfortable conversation.
Stay tuned.
Grace Lupoi (00:13):
Hi guys, I'm Lupoi and and I'm here with David Lowe
, the Automotive Sales Coach,and, like he said, today we're
talking through turning goodquestions into those comfortable
conversations and what thatlooks like to really have a good
conversation.
That gets me some more greatinformation.
David Lowe (00:30):
Yeah right, so, conversationalists, we're kind
of lost, isn't it?
Grace Lupoi (00:33):
Right, oh yeah.
David Lowe (00:35):
So we're talking to dealerships, automotive sales
coach.
We have many dealerships and welove to spend time in
dealerships, love salespeople,work career salespeople.
We love them and we want tohelp encourage them, inspire
them to be better.
Right, and one of the thingswe've noticed that during COVID
a lot of people isolated rightand even on the show, on the
(00:56):
floor, a lot of people spendmore time kind of looking at
their phone than conversingright.
So many salespeople todaystarted during that COVID and
haven't really been exposed toit and maybe many of our
salespeople in their 20s kind ofgrew up in the video game era,
in the iPhone era and then theCOVID era and this art of
(01:20):
conversation has kind of fallenby the wayside.
That's right.
I also many adults that I know.
Grace Lupoi (01:28):
Not just sales, Not just right Any professor.
David Lowe (01:31):
I've lost the art of conversation.
It's almost like the Seinfeldcomedy was all about self right.
I thought we were talking aboutme here, so Elaine would talk
about herself and Jerry wouldhijack the conversation talking
about himself and that would goright.
That was the.
That was the funny part of it.
That's why this, this, thisfunctional relationship they
(01:52):
look like they're alwaystogether, but they weren't.
They're always focused on whatSelf right.
So this conversation, the artof conversation, has been a
little bit lost.
Now, if you've been followingthe podcast, you know we've done
many episodes on communication.
Communication is the key tocustomer service Right, it's the
(02:14):
key to sales.
We've done episodes on naturalcuriosity, asking good questions
, active listening right.
Listening for what's being said, not said or trying to be said
right.
We've done episodes all thatsupport this and I bet we come
back and do more episodes aboutit.
We all have to be reminded whatwe believe, and you know what
(02:36):
pro athletes constantly practicethe basics.
So we're going to talk aboutthe basics all the time.
I think it's great If youexecute the basics brilliantly,
you'll be a champion.
So one of those basic thingsusing all those things active
listening, natural curiosity,stress and good quality is
creating this comfortableconversation right, and
(02:56):
comfortable conversation is kindof a give and take, where I
actually begin to put more valueon what you're saying than what
I'm saying.
I put more value on what youthan on me.
Try it, it's hard.
We're moving so quick throughtime, so I'm gonna give you some
(03:17):
tips for that today.
And, by the way, this is askill set that is under attack
just by the pace of life today.
Grace Lupoi (03:26):
That's right.
David Lowe (03:28):
And so if you've become weaker than you want,
self-examining like we did anepisode on if you self-examined.
I'm not really great at thisanymore.
Maybe I was never good, it'sjust.
By the way.
We had a young salesman thatwent through our 21 day fast art
, the certification program andfrom the dealership playbook and
(03:50):
said I was telling my wife, youguys are teaching me to
actually create goodconversations.
And now this is a very youngsalesman who's discovering for
the first time that they havethey've been asking questions
like a list, not using questionsas a bridge to a conversation.
(04:11):
Isn't that crazy?
Grace Lupoi (04:12):
That's crazy.
David Lowe (04:14):
But I think that happens naturally.
So you don't know what youdon't know.
So let's remind ourselves agood conversation give and take.
I'm putting more value on theother person than myself.
So what is the goal of thisconversation?
Now, if you're in sales, thefirst goal of your conversation
(04:34):
really is to understand yourbuyer, your client.
How do you serve someone youdon't understand?
How do you advise someone thatyou don't understand?
How do you consult withsomebody that you don't really
know?
I don't know anything about you.
I don't know what you want, whyyou want, how it fits your life
, but I'm gonna tell you whatyou should do.
How do you do that?
So we wanna start someconversation right, and we want
(04:59):
them talking about who they are.
Let's talk about that, grace,who somebody is.
Grace Lupoi (05:03):
Who somebody is.
We've really broken that downinto those three key areas,
right?
Their family, their work andtheir play, or their hobbies,
Right.
You can learn so much fromsomebody just in talking to them
for 30 seconds and asking themsome questions.
David Lowe (05:17):
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah, so we're gonna go back sowe talk about why they want a
vehicle not just what they want,but why they want it and, of
course, who they are and youjust covered who, family work
and play.
Now we've done this many timesin training classes.
We'll have a salesman stand upand say tell us about you and
(05:38):
one or three things.
I always mention Family workand play.
So when people naturally discussthemselves now listen, this is
not new.
It was Dale Carnegie and how toWin Fronts and Influence People
.
That said find their motivation, occupation, recreation and
family Sound familiar.
We use different words, sameprinciple the same principles
(05:59):
are available from manydifferent sources.
Principles are natural lawsthat have always been.
People who are seekingexcellence find them and apply
them to whatever they're doing.
Okay, so this natural law ofseeking to understand who you
are get you talking about yourfamily, work and play.
(06:21):
I could do it like this Okay,grace, so you're interested in a
Jeep.
So do you have a family?
Okay, so I can start.
You know I can start and goright after, and that's okay,
but it may feel a little forced,a little.
Yeah, and over the years, salesteams, sales trainers, managers,
(06:44):
dealers, people who own they'veinstead of training people,
they started making a list.
They called it an interview ora needs analysis, where people
ask these questions and fill outthe blanks.
You know what I mean and thewhole idea behind the questions
had been lost.
I guarantee you the person whofirst made that needs analysis
(07:06):
or the interview had in theirmind I'm gonna give my
salespeople some good questionsthey can ask to get a
conversation rolling, but overtime, without training, they
just became what let's play 20questions, mr Customer, and
nobody likes that.
Salesman don't like doing it.
Customers don't like being putthrough it.
(07:27):
Now there's information we needto know, right, right.
So if I'm looking for a car,what do you wanna know about me?
Do you wanna know why I pickedthat car?
Absolutely?
Do you wanna know what I do forwork?
Grace Lupoi (07:40):
I would like to know that.
David Lowe (07:41):
Would you like to know if I'm using it for any
family or recreational thing?
Absolutely.
There's a lot of things you'dlike to know, because when
people buy products, they're notreally actually buying the
product, they're buying whatthat product does for them.
Right At Automotive Sales CoachDeal Should Playbook and all
our coaching training, we saypeople buy lifestyles, they
don't buy cars.
(08:02):
And it's true.
They buy what the carrepresents Lifestyles, family,
work and play.
Right, that's right.
And, by the way, we say play,but don't we mean what's
important outside of work?
Right, some people, it'svolunteering Right, what do you
do with their time?
I've got people like I go and Iwalk dogs at the pound Right,
(08:24):
what a great thing to do withtheir spare time.
So they're not playing golf orwhatever, but they have
something that's very importantto them and they use the car to
get there Right Part of theirlifestyle.
So play really means thatoutside activities.
We might call it hobbies.
I don't know if walking a dogis a hobby, so let's just call
(08:45):
it anything the way they like tospend their time when they're
not at work, right?
Grace Lupoi (08:50):
There we go.
David Lowe (08:50):
And that's kind of what it is All right now.
Wouldn't it be better if Icould ask some good questions to
get you to naturally talk aboutthese?
Things Not it would be, and soI said no.
How many kids do you have?
Do you have 2.3 kids?
And what do you do for work andwhere do you work and how many
miles do you drive, and you know.
So these are good questionsthat come off very robotic, that
(09:13):
I may be able to answer bycreating comfortable
conversation.
That's right.
Grace Lupoi (09:18):
And I think sometimes, david, we talk about
Flip the script.
If you were the person beingasked the questions, how would
you feel?
Yeah you are entering into aplace to buy a car or do
something that's not out in youreveryday Routine, you're a
little bit uncomfortable.
How would you like to feel?
Yeah would you like to feellike the person talking to you
(09:39):
cares about what you're doingand they ask questions and they
want to get to know.
You think about that even inthe reverse.
How would I feel?
David Lowe (09:47):
Yeah.
So, grace, I, before I can showyou anything, I need to fill
out this form of 20 questions,or would be hey, well, rock and
roll.
Thank you for being here.
I really appreciate it and Ican help you out.
So let's talk about it.
What's going on?
Are you guys replacing yourrefrigerator?
You guys adding a refrigeratorto the house?
Whatever it is, I can ask aquestion To hopefully get the
(10:11):
customer feel comfortable.
What telling me their story?
Grace Lupoi (10:14):
That's right.
David Lowe (10:15):
It's amazing to me how much people want to tell us
their story and how littlesalespeople are listening.
I think we think it takes toomuch time, but we know slow is
fast with people.
When you slow down and havethis comfortable conversation
and Learn your buyersmotivations like why are they
(10:38):
doing this?
Why do they want this now?
How does it fit their lifestyleright?
When you slow down and learn it, everything else speeds up.
Everything else the sale closesmuch faster than if you speed
up here.
You're gonna slow down duringproduct selection and closing
and it's gonna cost you a ton ofmoney, right?
So holding a comfortableconversation is as simple as
(11:01):
this right from our episode.
Natural curiosity I think thatwas Chris who pendett said the
more Curious you become, themore interested in their answers
you become right, and once youbecome more interested in
answers, you tend to ask betterquestions, right?
Isn't that a natural, rightthing?
That happens and I think thatis true.
(11:22):
So we're gonna come up with ifI'm gonna be a good
conversationalist.
Oh, okay, pastor Todd, the lastchurch I was at where I played
bass form and pastor was aguitar player.
Really loved him, todd Fisher.
He would say we're gonna havethis moment of everybody's gonna
stand up, shake your neighbor'shand and you might ask him
these three questions heactually gave the congregation.
(11:45):
You might ask these threequestions and those might start
a what Conversation conversation.
So it's okay to be prepared tostart a conversation, it's okay
to have I'm going to this mywife's of company cocktail party
and I'm not gonna know anyonethere.
(12:06):
I have a few questions.
If I'm standing up there by thebar and there's another husband
or a spouse, a Wife or somebodyand I just want to pass the
time and comfortableconversation, here's a couple
questions I could ask To get theball rolling right, to show
interest.
So I think the desire to havethis comfortable conversation
(12:27):
has to be there.
And then maybe some preparationwith some good questions
Throughout the dealershipplaybook, no matter what step
we're at.
We give right, sound appraisal.
We have good questions, rightunderstanding goals.
We have good questions doingexploration.
We have good question duringthe trial closed.
We have good questions right.
We actually provide the goodquestions for our students.
(12:50):
These good questions weredesigned not to be a Task but to
create that comfortableconversation to turn into a
comfortable Result.
That's right.
So I think being prepared youknow wanting a conversation,
mm-hmm, wanting to know people,of course, seeing value and
understanding others, I think,and then maybe being prepared
(13:13):
with a couple good questions,right.
And then, of course, there'sthe ability, as we talked about
before, to actually listen, toslow down your brain, right, not
be prepared to respond to hearwhat's being said, and when
we're listening to what's beingsaid, we're looking for our next
question.
That's right, right.
(13:33):
So when somebody says so whatmade you guys decide what's
going on your family that youneeded to add a car now?
Well, my daughter just movedhome from college, she just
graduated and she's gonna beliving at home for a while, so
we need a third car.
Okay, did they just share someinformation with you?
(13:54):
daughter graduated College rightnow that they want you to know
that they did obviously Do theywant to brag about it, right,
and so, as a comfortableconversation, I don't go to my
next question.
I go all rockin once you doorgraduated car.
(14:16):
That's a proud moment.
I Right and right the doorsopen up boom, the doors open up.
I might even say that's awesome,that's, that's a big
accomplishment.
What was her degree?
Right, right, get them talking.
If you can make, a lot ofpeople aren't very comfortable
talking, but as soon as you getthem going, you sometimes can't
(14:37):
shut them up.
They want to talk but nobody'slistening.
So they've given up right.
As soon as they realize you'relistening, they're gonna want to
talk to you.
Right, and if they feellistened to, they'll feel valued
.
Right, they'll feel appreciated.
Isn't that the point?
Grace Lupoi (14:53):
That's the point.
David Lowe (14:53):
Comfortable conversation is when we make the
other person the star.
We want to know, we don't.
Hey, I want to tell you what'son my mind.
So I'm gonna manipulate you byasking you a question now.
They're right, this is I wantto know you, I want to
understand you better seek firstto understand.
Grace Lupoi (15:12):
Understand, then to be understood.
David Lowe (15:14):
Yeah, so Covey said that in the 80s and we'll go
back 3000 years.
Solomon said he who answers amatter before hearing it is his
filing in his shame.
So many sales people want to goout present products before
they know the person.
That's right, right.
We should always put peoplebefore products in pricing.
Grace Lupoi (15:36):
This is really why it's so interdependent on
everything else right, activelistening, slow as fast with
people.
There's so many, so many coreCortopics that work together,
because I also know that buyingsomething whether it's a
refrigerator or, for you, maybeA mic set right, a speaker
system or a car it's reallyabout emotion.
(15:57):
It is 80% emotion, 20% logic.
It's kind of our rule of thumb,and so why not slow down a
little bit to learn about that?
80%?
That's right.
Right, if I know that 80% ofwhatever it is that you're
buying is really gonna come fromyour emotion and your lifestyle
, why not take five minutes toget a lot of information?
It's gonna help you and help meand I'm facilitating that
(16:18):
conversation.
That's awesome.
David Lowe (16:20):
That's, and your right doesn't take long.
We find that we learn so muchin just a few minutes, when you
really want to understand people, that we listen a lot of
incoming Sales calls and wetrain salesmen to say absolutely
, I could totally help you withthat.
Thank you so much for theopportunity.
I really appreciate it.
Let me pull that up in thecomputer.
(16:41):
While I'm pulling that up, canI ask you what got you
interested in this particularblank?
That one question?
Just, people go off, right,well, we had one.
They just start telling youtheir story.
They want to.
It's almost like, oh my God.
Finally, somebody asked that'salmost what it feels like when
(17:02):
we listen to these calls asopposed to, as you said,
salesmen.
Just the facts, ma'am.
They stick on only the mentalside of it, the logic side of it
, and the logic side of it saysthe price is too high.
Right, so we want to go forthat emotional.
That's a great point, grace.
So, really, today's episode,creating comfortable
(17:23):
conversations right, they'rejust a part of our communication
skills.
It's taking your good questionsinstead of being a list.
Just the facts, ma'am.
They are gateways to learn moreand as your buyer speaks,
you're going to hear clues towhat they want to talk more
about clues to their life thatyou can get off your
(17:47):
pre-designed list and ask areally nice follow-up question
to get more information.
Ok, I want to leave you with onelast tip.
In sales, it can be that somesalesmen are afraid that
customers will just keep talkingand waste a bunch of time.
And can I tell you it's true.
Sometimes, right, I've seensalesmen spend 30 minutes in
(18:09):
their office and run out of timewith the sales, with the
customer.
You know what I mean.
So any good thing that weoveruse right, any strength
overuse can become a weakness.
So, holding this conversation,we want to make it really good
and meaningful and learn a lot.
(18:29):
We don't want it to go onforever.
So if you have somebody thatwants to keep talking, try this
and do something like this Grace, wow, I'm sorry, I could talk
to you about that forever and Iknow that's not why you came in.
Sorry about that, I gotdistracted.
Anyway, let's go on.
So I will make the reason we'retalking about this thing
(18:52):
endlessly my fault.
In order to move us forward, youhave to learn how to help your
customer have a comfortableconversation too.
That's true.
A lot of them are notprofessional communicator,
they're not trained, they're notyet listening to, prepared when
Just joking, they don't knowwhat to.
They don't really know.
Many of them aren't.
(19:13):
I mean, you have an engine,you've got different personality
types too, and so once you getthem talking, some of them don't
know.
We had a guitar player in theband once that didn't know how
to stop playing the lead.
It was like all right alreadyand so kept playing and playing.
It was endless.
And you kind of people areleaving OK.
So we've got to know we want toend on a high and keep it
(19:38):
comfortable.
So I'll just give you a tip onhow to end on it.
So today, very importantcreating comfortable
conversations for life, for work, any place you work, especially
if you're in sales get off thechecklist and use your checklist
as a way to create comfortableconversation.
So we have an agenda.
(19:59):
We call it, have a game plan,and the game plan is I wanna
know you, grace.
I wanna know not just what youwant.
More importantly, I reallywanna know why you want it, why
you want it now and how it fitsyour life.
You know your family and yourwork and the things you do
outside of work, your play timeor your hobbies or things that
you think are important to youin your life.
(20:20):
I really want to know that.
That's what we call holding acomfortable conversation.
You know what?
Everything we talk about is askill set.
I think people think you eitherhave it or you don't, and
that's such garbage.
It's such garbage.
Either you have it or you don't.
The things we're talking aboutcould be learned, right, but to
(20:43):
get any skill set requiresmindfulness.
Where am I now, where do Iwanna be and what do I need to
do to improve to get there?
That's right.
Skills can be learned.
You have to be mindful, youhave to make a commitment, make
a decision and you have topursue it.
I think practice is the onlyway to develop a skill set.
Grace Lupoi (21:04):
Absolutely.
David Lowe (21:05):
And so I tell you this it's interesting With new
sales people.
We used to say when you're atthe grocery store waiting in
line, turn to the person behindyou and say to them wow, it's a
beautiful day today, is itsupposed to continue all week?
And practice havingconversations, cause people say,
well, I hope so.
(21:25):
My kid has a little league gametomorrow and you're gonna go.
Wow, I mean, is it like local?
It gives you the practice toask those good foul questions.
It also help you uncover thefact that everybody wants to
talk about what they got.
Facebook knows that Everybodywants to talk about what they
have going.
They just don't feel anybody'slistening.
(21:47):
If you hold a comfortableconversation with your customer,
they are gonna want to listento you.
Right, that's right, okay,Grace Lupoi, David Lowe, we
wanna say be better today thanyesterday.
Seek excellence this week, andGood selling.
On today's episode, learn how to turn good questions
into comfortable conversation.
Stay tuned.
Grace Lupoi (00:13):
Hi guys, I'm Lupoi and and I'm here with David Lowe
, the Automotive Sales Coach,and, like he said, today we're
talking through turning goodquestions into those comfortable
conversations and what thatlooks like to really have a good
conversation.
That gets me some more greatinformation.
David Lowe (00:30):
Yeah right, so, conversationalists, we're kind
of lost, isn't it?
Grace Lupoi (00:33):
Right, oh yeah.
David Lowe (00:35):
So we're talking to dealerships, automotive sales
coach.
We have many dealerships and welove to spend time in
dealerships, love salespeople,work career salespeople.
We love them and we want tohelp encourage them, inspire
them to be better.
Right, and one of the thingswe've noticed that during COVID
a lot of people isolated rightand even on the show, on the
(00:56):
floor, a lot of people spendmore time kind of looking at
their phone than conversingright.
So many salespeople todaystarted during that COVID and
haven't really been exposed toit and maybe many of our
salespeople in their 20s kind ofgrew up in the video game era,
in the iPhone era and then theCOVID era and this art of
(01:20):
conversation has kind of fallenby the wayside.
That's right.
I also many adults that I know.
Grace Lupoi (01:28):
Not just sales, Not just right Any professor.
David Lowe (01:31):
I've lost the art of conversation.
It's almost like the Seinfeldcomedy was all about self right.
I thought we were talking aboutme here, so Elaine would talk
about herself and Jerry wouldhijack the conversation talking
about himself and that would goright.
That was the.
That was the funny part of it.
That's why this, this, thisfunctional relationship they
(01:52):
look like they're alwaystogether, but they weren't.
They're always focused on whatSelf right.
So this conversation, the artof conversation, has been a
little bit lost.
Now, if you've been followingthe podcast, you know we've done
many episodes on communication.
Communication is the key tocustomer service Right, it's the
(02:14):
key to sales.
We've done episodes on naturalcuriosity, asking good questions
, active listening right.
Listening for what's being said, not said or trying to be said
right.
We've done episodes all thatsupport this and I bet we come
back and do more episodes aboutit.
We all have to be reminded whatwe believe, and you know what
(02:36):
pro athletes constantly practicethe basics.
So we're going to talk aboutthe basics all the time.
I think it's great If youexecute the basics brilliantly,
you'll be a champion.
So one of those basic thingsusing all those things active
listening, natural curiosity,stress and good quality is
creating this comfortableconversation right, and
(02:56):
comfortable conversation is kindof a give and take, where I
actually begin to put more valueon what you're saying than what
I'm saying.
I put more value on what youthan on me.
Try it, it's hard.
We're moving so quick throughtime, so I'm gonna give you some
(03:17):
tips for that today.
And, by the way, this is askill set that is under attack
just by the pace of life today.
Grace Lupoi (03:26):
That's right.
David Lowe (03:28):
And so if you've become weaker than you want,
self-examining like we did anepisode on if you self-examined.
I'm not really great at thisanymore.
Maybe I was never good, it'sjust.
By the way.
We had a young salesman thatwent through our 21 day fast art
, the certification program andfrom the dealership playbook and
(03:50):
said I was telling my wife, youguys are teaching me to
actually create goodconversations.
And now this is a very youngsalesman who's discovering for
the first time that they havethey've been asking questions
like a list, not using questionsas a bridge to a conversation.
(04:11):
Isn't that crazy?
Grace Lupoi (04:12):
That's crazy.
David Lowe (04:14):
But I think that happens naturally.
So you don't know what youdon't know.
So let's remind ourselves agood conversation give and take.
I'm putting more value on theother person than myself.
So what is the goal of thisconversation?
Now, if you're in sales, thefirst goal of your conversation
(04:34):
really is to understand yourbuyer, your client.
How do you serve someone youdon't understand?
How do you advise someone thatyou don't understand?
How do you consult withsomebody that you don't really
know?
I don't know anything about you.
I don't know what you want, whyyou want, how it fits your life
, but I'm gonna tell you whatyou should do.
How do you do that?
So we wanna start someconversation right, and we want
(04:59):
them talking about who they are.
Let's talk about that, grace,who somebody is.
Grace Lupoi (05:03):
Who somebody is.
We've really broken that downinto those three key areas,
right?
Their family, their work andtheir play, or their hobbies,
Right.
You can learn so much fromsomebody just in talking to them
for 30 seconds and asking themsome questions.
David Lowe (05:17):
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah, so we're gonna go back sowe talk about why they want a
vehicle not just what they want,but why they want it and, of
course, who they are and youjust covered who, family work
and play.
Now we've done this many timesin training classes.
We'll have a salesman stand upand say tell us about you and
(05:38):
one or three things.
I always mention Family workand play.
So when people naturally discussthemselves now listen, this is
not new.
It was Dale Carnegie and how toWin Fronts and Influence People
.
That said find their motivation, occupation, recreation and
family Sound familiar.
We use different words, sameprinciple the same principles
(05:59):
are available from manydifferent sources.
Principles are natural lawsthat have always been.
People who are seekingexcellence find them and apply
them to whatever they're doing.
Okay, so this natural law ofseeking to understand who you
are get you talking about yourfamily, work and play.
(06:21):
I could do it like this Okay,grace, so you're interested in a
Jeep.
So do you have a family?
Okay, so I can start.
You know I can start and goright after, and that's okay,
but it may feel a little forced,a little.
Yeah, and over the years, salesteams, sales trainers, managers,
(06:44):
dealers, people who own they'veinstead of training people,
they started making a list.
They called it an interview ora needs analysis, where people
ask these questions and fill outthe blanks.
You know what I mean and thewhole idea behind the questions
had been lost.
I guarantee you the person whofirst made that needs analysis
(07:06):
or the interview had in theirmind I'm gonna give my
salespeople some good questionsthey can ask to get a
conversation rolling, but overtime, without training, they
just became what let's play 20questions, mr Customer, and
nobody likes that.
Salesman don't like doing it.
Customers don't like being putthrough it.
(07:27):
Now there's information we needto know, right, right.
So if I'm looking for a car,what do you wanna know about me?
Do you wanna know why I pickedthat car?
Absolutely?
Do you wanna know what I do forwork?
Grace Lupoi (07:40):
I would like to know that.
David Lowe (07:41):
Would you like to know if I'm using it for any
family or recreational thing?
Absolutely.
There's a lot of things you'dlike to know, because when
people buy products, they're notreally actually buying the
product, they're buying whatthat product does for them.
Right At Automotive Sales CoachDeal Should Playbook and all
our coaching training, we saypeople buy lifestyles, they
don't buy cars.
(08:02):
And it's true.
They buy what the carrepresents Lifestyles, family,
work and play.
Right, that's right.
And, by the way, we say play,but don't we mean what's
important outside of work?
Right, some people, it'svolunteering Right, what do you
do with their time?
I've got people like I go and Iwalk dogs at the pound Right,
(08:24):
what a great thing to do withtheir spare time.
So they're not playing golf orwhatever, but they have
something that's very importantto them and they use the car to
get there Right Part of theirlifestyle.
So play really means thatoutside activities.
We might call it hobbies.
I don't know if walking a dogis a hobby, so let's just call
(08:45):
it anything the way they like tospend their time when they're
not at work, right?
Grace Lupoi (08:50):
There we go.
David Lowe (08:50):
And that's kind of what it is All right now.
Wouldn't it be better if Icould ask some good questions to
get you to naturally talk aboutthese?
Things Not it would be, and soI said no.
How many kids do you have?
Do you have 2.3 kids?
And what do you do for work andwhere do you work and how many
miles do you drive, and you know.
So these are good questionsthat come off very robotic, that
(09:13):
I may be able to answer bycreating comfortable
conversation.
That's right.
Grace Lupoi (09:18):
And I think sometimes, david, we talk about
Flip the script.
If you were the person beingasked the questions, how would
you feel?
Yeah you are entering into aplace to buy a car or do
something that's not out in youreveryday Routine, you're a
little bit uncomfortable.
How would you like to feel?
Yeah would you like to feellike the person talking to you
(09:39):
cares about what you're doingand they ask questions and they
want to get to know.
You think about that even inthe reverse.
How would I feel?
David Lowe (09:47):
Yeah.
So, grace, I, before I can showyou anything, I need to fill
out this form of 20 questions,or would be hey, well, rock and
roll.
Thank you for being here.
I really appreciate it and Ican help you out.
So let's talk about it.
What's going on?
Are you guys replacing yourrefrigerator?
You guys adding a refrigeratorto the house?
Whatever it is, I can ask aquestion To hopefully get the
(10:11):
customer feel comfortable.
What telling me their story?
Grace Lupoi (10:14):
That's right.
David Lowe (10:15):
It's amazing to me how much people want to tell us
their story and how littlesalespeople are listening.
I think we think it takes toomuch time, but we know slow is
fast with people.
When you slow down and havethis comfortable conversation
and Learn your buyersmotivations like why are they
(10:38):
doing this?
Why do they want this now?
How does it fit their lifestyleright?
When you slow down and learn it, everything else speeds up.
Everything else the sale closesmuch faster than if you speed
up here.
You're gonna slow down duringproduct selection and closing
and it's gonna cost you a ton ofmoney, right?
So holding a comfortableconversation is as simple as
(11:01):
this right from our episode.
Natural curiosity I think thatwas Chris who pendett said the
more Curious you become, themore interested in their answers
you become right, and once youbecome more interested in
answers, you tend to ask betterquestions, right?
Isn't that a natural, rightthing?
That happens and I think thatis true.
(11:22):
So we're gonna come up with ifI'm gonna be a good
conversationalist.
Oh, okay, pastor Todd, the lastchurch I was at where I played
bass form and pastor was aguitar player.
Really loved him, todd Fisher.
He would say we're gonna havethis moment of everybody's gonna
stand up, shake your neighbor'shand and you might ask him
these three questions heactually gave the congregation.
(11:45):
You might ask these threequestions and those might start
a what Conversation conversation.
So it's okay to be prepared tostart a conversation, it's okay
to have I'm going to this mywife's of company cocktail party
and I'm not gonna know anyonethere.
(12:06):
I have a few questions.
If I'm standing up there by thebar and there's another husband
or a spouse, a Wife or somebodyand I just want to pass the
time and comfortableconversation, here's a couple
questions I could ask To get theball rolling right, to show
interest.
So I think the desire to havethis comfortable conversation
(12:27):
has to be there.
And then maybe some preparationwith some good questions
Throughout the dealershipplaybook, no matter what step
we're at.
We give right, sound appraisal.
We have good questions, rightunderstanding goals.
We have good questions doingexploration.
We have good question duringthe trial closed.
We have good questions right.
We actually provide the goodquestions for our students.
(12:50):
These good questions weredesigned not to be a Task but to
create that comfortableconversation to turn into a
comfortable Result.
That's right.
So I think being prepared youknow wanting a conversation,
mm-hmm, wanting to know people,of course, seeing value and
understanding others, I think,and then maybe being prepared
(13:13):
with a couple good questions,right.
And then, of course, there'sthe ability, as we talked about
before, to actually listen, toslow down your brain, right, not
be prepared to respond to hearwhat's being said, and when
we're listening to what's beingsaid, we're looking for our next
question.
That's right, right.
(13:33):
So when somebody says so whatmade you guys decide what's
going on your family that youneeded to add a car now?
Well, my daughter just movedhome from college, she just
graduated and she's gonna beliving at home for a while, so
we need a third car.
Okay, did they just share someinformation with you?
(13:54):
daughter graduated College rightnow that they want you to know
that they did obviously Do theywant to brag about it, right,
and so, as a comfortableconversation, I don't go to my
next question.
I go all rockin once you doorgraduated car.
(14:16):
That's a proud moment.
I Right and right the doorsopen up boom, the doors open up.
I might even say that's awesome,that's, that's a big
accomplishment.
What was her degree?
Right, right, get them talking.
If you can make, a lot ofpeople aren't very comfortable
talking, but as soon as you getthem going, you sometimes can't
(14:37):
shut them up.
They want to talk but nobody'slistening.
So they've given up right.
As soon as they realize you'relistening, they're gonna want to
talk to you.
Right, and if they feellistened to, they'll feel valued
.
Right, they'll feel appreciated.
Isn't that the point?
Grace Lupoi (14:53):
That's the point.
David Lowe (14:53):
Comfortable conversation is when we make the
other person the star.
We want to know, we don't.
Hey, I want to tell you what'son my mind.
So I'm gonna manipulate you byasking you a question now.
They're right, this is I wantto know you, I want to
understand you better seek firstto understand.
Grace Lupoi (15:12):
Understand, then to be understood.
David Lowe (15:14):
Yeah, so Covey said that in the 80s and we'll go
back 3000 years.
Solomon said he who answers amatter before hearing it is his
filing in his shame.
So many sales people want to goout present products before
they know the person.
That's right, right.
We should always put peoplebefore products in pricing.
Grace Lupoi (15:36):
This is really why it's so interdependent on
everything else right, activelistening, slow as fast with
people.
There's so many, so many coreCortopics that work together,
because I also know that buyingsomething whether it's a
refrigerator or, for you, maybeA mic set right, a speaker
system or a car it's reallyabout emotion.
(15:57):
It is 80% emotion, 20% logic.
It's kind of our rule of thumb,and so why not slow down a
little bit to learn about that?
80%?
That's right.
Right, if I know that 80% ofwhatever it is that you're
buying is really gonna come fromyour emotion and your lifestyle
, why not take five minutes toget a lot of information?
It's gonna help you and help meand I'm facilitating that
(16:18):
conversation.
That's awesome.
David Lowe (16:20):
That's, and your right doesn't take long.
We find that we learn so muchin just a few minutes, when you
really want to understand people, that we listen a lot of
incoming Sales calls and wetrain salesmen to say absolutely
, I could totally help you withthat.
Thank you so much for theopportunity.
I really appreciate it.
Let me pull that up in thecomputer.
(16:41):
While I'm pulling that up, canI ask you what got you
interested in this particularblank?
That one question?
Just, people go off, right,well, we had one.
They just start telling youtheir story.
They want to.
It's almost like, oh my God.
Finally, somebody asked that'salmost what it feels like when
(17:02):
we listen to these calls asopposed to, as you said,
salesmen.
Just the facts, ma'am.
They stick on only the mentalside of it, the logic side of it
, and the logic side of it saysthe price is too high.
Right, so we want to go forthat emotional.
That's a great point, grace.
So, really, today's episode,creating comfortable
(17:23):
conversations right, they'rejust a part of our communication
skills.
It's taking your good questionsinstead of being a list.
Just the facts, ma'am.
They are gateways to learn moreand as your buyer speaks,
you're going to hear clues towhat they want to talk more
about clues to their life thatyou can get off your
(17:47):
pre-designed list and ask areally nice follow-up question
to get more information.
Ok, I want to leave you with onelast tip.
In sales, it can be that somesalesmen are afraid that
customers will just keep talkingand waste a bunch of time.
And can I tell you it's true.
Sometimes, right, I've seensalesmen spend 30 minutes in
(18:09):
their office and run out of timewith the sales, with the
customer.
You know what I mean.
So any good thing that weoveruse right, any strength
overuse can become a weakness.
So, holding this conversation,we want to make it really good
and meaningful and learn a lot.
(18:29):
We don't want it to go onforever.
So if you have somebody thatwants to keep talking, try this
and do something like this Grace, wow, I'm sorry, I could talk
to you about that forever and Iknow that's not why you came in.
Sorry about that, I gotdistracted.
Anyway, let's go on.
So I will make the reason we'retalking about this thing
(18:52):
endlessly my fault.
In order to move us forward, youhave to learn how to help your
customer have a comfortableconversation too.
That's true.
A lot of them are notprofessional communicator,
they're not trained, they're notyet listening to, prepared when
Just joking, they don't knowwhat to.
They don't really know.
Many of them aren't.
(19:13):
I mean, you have an engine,you've got different personality
types too, and so once you getthem talking, some of them don't
know.
We had a guitar player in theband once that didn't know how
to stop playing the lead.
It was like all right alreadyand so kept playing and playing.
It was endless.
And you kind of people areleaving OK.
So we've got to know we want toend on a high and keep it
(19:38):
comfortable.
So I'll just give you a tip onhow to end on it.
So today, very importantcreating comfortable
conversations for life, for work, any place you work, especially
if you're in sales get off thechecklist and use your checklist
as a way to create comfortableconversation.
So we have an agenda.
(19:59):
We call it, have a game plan,and the game plan is I wanna
know you, grace.
I wanna know not just what youwant.
More importantly, I reallywanna know why you want it, why
you want it now and how it fitsyour life.
You know your family and yourwork and the things you do
outside of work, your play timeor your hobbies or things that
you think are important to youin your life.
(20:20):
I really want to know that.
That's what we call holding acomfortable conversation.
You know what?
Everything we talk about is askill set.
I think people think you eitherhave it or you don't, and
that's such garbage.
It's such garbage.
Either you have it or you don't.
The things we're talking aboutcould be learned, right, but to
(20:43):
get any skill set requiresmindfulness.
Where am I now, where do Iwanna be and what do I need to
do to improve to get there?
That's right.
Skills can be learned.
You have to be mindful, youhave to make a commitment, make
a decision and you have topursue it.
I think practice is the onlyway to develop a skill set.
Grace Lupoi (21:04):
Absolutely.
David Lowe (21:05):
And so I tell you this it's interesting With new
sales people.
We used to say when you're atthe grocery store waiting in
line, turn to the person behindyou and say to them wow, it's a
beautiful day today, is itsupposed to continue all week?
And practice havingconversations, cause people say,
well, I hope so.
(21:25):
My kid has a little league gametomorrow and you're gonna go.
Wow, I mean, is it like local?
It gives you the practice toask those good foul questions.
It also help you uncover thefact that everybody wants to
talk about what they got.
Facebook knows that Everybodywants to talk about what they
have going.
They just don't feel anybody'slistening.
(21:47):
If you hold a comfortableconversation with your customer,
they are gonna want to listento you.
Right, that's right, okay,Grace Lupoi, David Lowe, we
wanna say be better today thanyesterday.
Seek excellence this week, andGood selling.
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