April 2, 2025 • 46 mins
We're back this week looking a ~little~ different thanks to Brynne's makeup skills. Another episode filled with the important questions...do we look like each other? Would we do our clones? What TV shows/movies will we force on our kids? What liquids do we want to come out of our fingers? Let us know your answers in the comments :)
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Oh baby, I love you, Wig. Oh Cosmo, I love you Wig.
Are they all recording? I think they're all recording.
Can you make sure my wig's good?It's.
Not can. You help me.
How's that? I look beautiful.
You look. Absolutely gorgeous.
(00:28):
Yeah, that's beautiful. Like this?
Yeah, look at yourself. Oh my God.
You look so gorgeous. I've been a bad bitch for 5
minutes. It's already so overstimulating
so I can't. I can't.
I don't know. How you deal with hairs all up
in your? How I deal with hair.
(00:51):
Yeah. Look at all this.
Oh my God, I feel like there's aflock of mosquitoes just just on
my face. Like go like this.
I could never live like this, ever.
Oh my God, Immediately. When people say by panic, this
is what they mean. Yes, we're trying to get you to
panic. I played.
Mario earlier. You look like my teenage son.
(01:13):
EW. What do you mean EW?
Because I know what we're going to probably do after this.
Not anymore. Show them the tattoo for our
listeners. We're dressed as each other.
OK, She beat my face up. Beat that boy with the bat.
What is it? I beat your face.
Yes, that which in. In girl, it means that I did
(01:36):
your makeup. Oh, OK.
I did a full beat. I did a full face makeup.
I got the Brin special. Do you know how many girls are
jealous of you right now becauseI did your makeup?
You. It's literally like you painted
the Mona Lisa on a bathroom stall door.
You know what I mean? Like, what is this canvas?
Why would you do this? You look you I I'd hang with
(01:56):
you. Like honestly, I'd hang with
you. I look pretty good as a boy.
Bryn's got a backwards hat on, she's got a mustache, she's
wearing one of my T-shirts and Ilook.
Pretty good. You ready to roll the intro?
Yeah, you, you do it this time. I've done it twice.
Go ahead. All right, roll the intro.
(02:24):
Welcome back to the Pretty FunnyPodcast.
I'm Brynn. And I'm Mario.
Except I look like Mario. And I look like Brynn.
Gorgeous. You look pretty good.
I'm getting. Delectable delicious bubble gum
booty, Batty Gucci, Gorgeous goddess, sexy siren sorcerers,
GLAMOROUS Fergie. Like a lava lamp.
(02:45):
Fergie like a lava lamp. Yeah.
Everyone talks shit on it till they try it.
Yeah, you try doing it. I had my own for you at one
point but I completely that exited my brain.
I literally just feel like I'm talking to a homie.
This is this is wild. Yeah.
For those of you watching, to answer your question, no we
(03:06):
haven't yet. I suggested it.
We did a little smooch. We kissed before we started the
podcast. And I was like, Can you imagine
doing that right now? And I can, I can.
But would you do me like this? Would I do you looking like an
adolescent version of myself? Yeah, but I have boobies.
(03:31):
I don't want to see me like I don't want to.
Oh man. When I go to show this is a.
Slippery slope. This is a very slippery slope.
Remember what just happened on White Lotus?
This is how it starts. The brothers.
No no, no, no, no. Spoiler alert No, no, no, no, no
no. When Walton Goggins character is
(03:54):
talking to his homie at that dinner and there's that big
trauma dump, I feel like I couldjust go to therapy instead.
If we were to do the do right like this, we could try.
I don't want. To.
I don't want to. I was asking you, but I don't
want. To I know you'd be down for
this, yeah, you would Look at this.
(04:14):
Look at this I. Have often thought that if there
was a clone of me out in the world, I would.
Do the amount of people that think that we're related, I'm
not joking. People comment all the time and
they're like, you guys look so much alike.
Are you are like I've seen the comment.
Are they siblings or is this a couple so many times, so many
(04:36):
times. And then now that I'm looking at
you dressed like me, you do kindof look like me.
It's kind of freaking me out. I'm going to be honest, you
don't really look like me. That's rude.
You have a giant Caterpillar on your face.
You could have said I look a little like you because you're
actually the good looking one inthis relationship.
(04:56):
That's not what I meant at. All, you look nothing like me,
you pig. Well, I don't have a mustache.
I have a question. What?
Well, actually, no, it's not really a question for you.
It's more of a statement about myself, because I know your
answer. What if there was a clone of
you? Would you?
Yeah, that's just masturbation. So you would.
(05:17):
If it's a clone of me and I'm tired, like hey man, just can
you. I could just fall asleep.
But like, would you be into it because.
No, no, it's just it's an extension of myself.
I've always viewed clones as extensions of myself.
It's me with the same brain, same everything.
The most narcissistic, self obsessed way possible.
(05:38):
I would and I would be happy about.
It oh in like a weird way, yeah.Like mine would be just doing my
laundry and stuff, you know whatI mean?
Like. Oh no, I'm talking about sex,
baby. No, I talking about sex, baby.
I'm talking about you and me. Oh, my God.
I feel like. Oh, I Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
(05:58):
OK, I get it. Come here.
No, you're just some white guy now reaching for me with no
consent. That's actually terrifying.
Come here. Yes.
Did that help? For our listeners, she just
reached at me like a silverback gorilla.
Charger the hair out of his facelike a nice girlfriend.
Get over here. That was scary.
(06:21):
Oh my God. Now you know how it feels.
Like clutch my pearls. Oh, I can't wait to just
objectify you after this. Not with any objects, no.
What were we talking about? What were we talking about?
If I had a clone of myself. Oh yeah, yeah, no.
So a clone of myself would just be an extension of me, you know
what I mean? You would use it in a severance
(06:42):
type way. 100% but I would. I would let my no, but I'd let
my Annie be an Audi like I'd be.I'd be fine taking half.
You coexist. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
What was that movie? There's a movie that's literally
all about that that we watched. Multiplicity by with Michael
Keaton back in the day. That's a good one.
That's really, really good, because they keep just printing
(07:03):
out versions of. Themselves I would date myself.
No, I know you would. You get freaky real quick.
Yeah. And am I complaining?
Am I stopping you? Do I view that you?
Just have an extra 2 of me. Yo if there was a clone machine.
One of our cats is pooping rightnow.
(07:25):
I thought it was like dumping rain.
It's just them scratching in thelitter robot.
Cats at night make the worst noises.
I feel like a cat's main missionis to make you feel like you're
being burglarized. Burglarized.
Burglarized. All night long burgled.
I feel like your name is Pistachio and your your dad owns
(07:49):
a sandwich shop. Like, hey, this is how you
sound. That's what you look like.
It's kind of freaking me out. What do you think our kids are
going to look like? Take a good look.
If we have a can we bleep the name?
Can we? We'll bleep the name, but take a
good look. Take a really good look.
(08:11):
Wait, bleep that name? Yeah, that's a surprise.
Both of them. We already have our baby names
picked. Up we do, a boy.
And a girl. We have first and middle.
Yes, we know. And we talked about it severely
early. I really hope we only have a boy
and a girl too because otherwisewe're fucked.
Which one? How many kids would you want?
2. 2 No, you got to get a third.There's got to be a Malcolm in
(08:35):
the middle. There has to be, there has to,
there's to be an oldest, a middle and a youngest.
Maybe there can't just be like I'm not.
Opposed. You are in a two person.
You're in a two man, Yeah. Yeah, I have my older brother
Olson. Love you.
Hello. He's three years older than me.
He's a month older than you. Yeah.
You are like the same age. I'm just saying you grew up as a
two man, like I grew up as a five man.
(08:55):
Yeah, like my team would smoke your team.
Yeah. You were four out of five.
Yeah, I was two out of two. Yeah.
Yeah. So you don't feel like you
wanted like one more to the squad.
Where I grew up, I lived in a cul-de-sac and across the street
from me was a House of five, three girls, two boys.
That was OK. We were three boys and two
girls. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but two of the girls, 1 was a year older than me, one
(09:18):
was a year younger. OK, so I would just hang out
with them. They were like my sisters.
And then they even had a youngerbrother who was, I think he was
like 3 years younger than me andI would hang out with him and my
brother. We had a whole cul-de-sac.
Full of kids. Yeah, we too.
We did too. That's what they Yeah, that's.
How we grew up, I had those two girls specifically.
I mean, I would kind of go back and forth depending on like what
phase of my life I was going through.
(09:39):
Like if I was wanting to be a little more mature and I was
hanging out with the older one alot more and then like I would
want to still play dolls and shewas kind of over that.
I would hang out with the younger one.
No, but I was really close with both of them.
That's super cool. Yeah.
So I didn't need like a younger sibling also in that sense.
I do think though, our kids, whether there's two or three of
them, there won't be one. First of all, never a single
(10:01):
child. Single children have their
place. My sister-in-law is one of the
closest people in my entire lifeand she is a single.
Child. I've known a lot of only Childs.
She's an only child, whether we have two or three kids.
Yeah. I think that we were just saying
how people all the time say thatwe look like we're related,
disgustingly enough. Yeah, we're not related.
Yeah, I'm just saying I think they're going to.
(10:22):
There's certain families. Have you ever looked at a family
and you're like, I can tell thatyou're all related.
Like you look like exactly your mom and your dad.
Have I ever experienced that? Yeah, I'm like all the kids look
the same and the kids look exactly like their parents.
I feel like that's going to be us.
Oh, OK. I was like, I've experienced
that a lot. Like most families look like
(10:44):
each other in the. Not always, no.
That family I was talking about that I was friends with growing
up, they all looked so different.
Oh well, that happens too I guess.
Yeah, OK. Even Coulson and I look decently
different. Yeah.
But there's some families, whichis what I'm talking.
About oh, like the photocopy families, the copy paste
families? Exactly.
(11:05):
The cookie cutter families. Yeah, where?
People literally like they post them on TikTok and they comment
and they're like, your parents literally just made a copy of
themselves. Yeah, yeah.
That's what I feel like our kids.
You feel like our kids are goingto be like that.
Oh, I hope they look more like you.
Have you showed off the tattoo yet?
Yeah. Oh my God.
Back on the topic of kids, when you were a kid, when.
You want two or three. I originally thought too, I
(11:27):
wouldn't be opposed to three. 3.Now are you questioning it?
You wanted. Three.
How do you want them though? Do you want triplets?
Do you want a twin set with likea?
We don't have twins that run in our families, so I don't think
that's. We don't.
Do you have twins that run in your family?
I don't know, like people are like bolding scoops a generation
twins, like I don't know what. Works.
(11:49):
Think about your siblings and your cousins.
Yeah, I don't know if I want to expose that.
Are there any twins? There's twins in my family.
Yes, I do have twins in my family.
But do I know if they run going to find my baby going to hold
(12:09):
her tight going to? Grab some afternoon delight.
I don't know the rest of the words OK.
I would like 3 kids. I think 3 kids is a good is
good. OK, I want them to not be twins
or triplets. So you just want like boom, boom
boom. I don't want to be pregnant with
more than one child at a time orhave to push out more than one
(12:31):
child. Don't.
Can't they just C-section that shit?
I don't want that either. And then just.
I don't want to have AC section unless I need it.
I don't want to give vaginal birth either though.
God. We can just adopt.
OK. I actually down to adopt.
Yeah, I so my entire life, like knowing that I'm bisexual and
(12:53):
knowing for the majority of my life that there was a chance I
would end up with a woman, I fora long time considered the fact
that I would either have to adopt or choose which one of us
would carry the baby or how. We would go about that.
I've already put a lot of thought into that, but I think
that between me and you, unless one of us is infertile, I would
like to. Have our own child.
(13:14):
Yeah, like I've never been. I don't know if anyone is, but
I've never been opposed to adopting, you know, like, if I
was infertile or sterile or whatever, or like we just
couldn't have a baby or we're struggling.
Like, I would immediately look into that.
Yeah. With all the happiness in my
heart. Like, I think that would be,
what a beautiful thing, like giving a gift, you know, to
someone who has lost their parents or came from horrible
(13:34):
circumstances or who knows, you know, or just doesn't have
anybody to love and care for them.
Like Oh my God, what just a beautiful, beautiful thing to be
able to provide. I do love the thought of having
like our own personalities intertwine and like literally a
product of our love. Oh yeah.
Like I love the idea of that, but like you were saying, if it
was at that point where we needed to adopt or if we wanted
(13:56):
to adopt, then I have never. Yeah, I don't think of that as a
negative thing. I.
Feel like I don't feel like adoption's brought up a lot.
And like like every time people talk about like think about
this, like it's like, oh, you guys want to have kids.
How many times does your relatives, your friends, your
coworkers, your family, like whatever ask you like, oh, you
guys are going to get married orthinking about kids or like when
(14:17):
you're like, well, you know, like it's very, very prevalent.
But like it's never like, do youguys ever think about like
adopting? Like no one ever says that.
And that's like the safest thingto say.
If you're talking to somebody about child rearing, like are
you thinking about starting a family?
You literally could just throw out adoption and it doesn't hurt
anybody's feelings. I'm not assuming that you're
pregnant. I'm not asking about your
(14:38):
complications with pregnancy. I'm just like, it's just strange
to me. People don't talk about it more
does that. Make sense if you immediately
went to adoption though, I thinkthat there are some nuances with
it. Typically adoption is considered
when there is a quote UN quote issue between people, whether or
not someone's infertile or if there are in the same sex
marriage or whatever the case may be.
(14:59):
I think that that's typically when adoption is brought up.
So if it was brought up to a straight childbearing or
childbearing capable couple, that's when then people kind of
give like a raised eyebrow. Yeah.
In general, unless people bring up their own plans when it comes
to bringing children into this worth, worth bringing children
(15:19):
into this earth or raising children, I think that A let
them bring it up how they want and B be respectful when you ask
questions, if you even ask questions.
I think through this conversation we realized when it
comes to your friends, family, parents, coworkers, maybe don't
bring it up under any circumstance.
Yeah, unless it's brought up to you.
(15:41):
Have you had any of your family members ask if we're going to
have kids? No, me neither.
Well, actually that's a lie. My sister-in-law, Katie, love
her with my entire heart. An only child.
I love her with my whole heart, she all the time.
Are you pregnant yet? Well, yeah, I think that's like
a silly little thing. Between you guys, that's not a.
(16:02):
Very like innocent. She's not like, oh I'm so
honestly so happy that my mom isnot one of those moms that's
like, make me a grandma. I can't wait to be a granny.
She's already a grandma. Yeah, she's Mimi.
Mimi and I'm TT. TT.
Yeah, you knew that. Well, is that only because
that's what they're capable of pronouncing, or is that like a
(16:23):
family thing? No, she calls, she calls me TT,
and she calls like Katie's best friend TT.
So everybody's TT. I'm also my niece's only TT.
She doesn't have any other. Well she's going to have an
uncle hopefully eventually, but she doesn't have any other
uncles or aunts. I'm her only TT.
You look like you're about to change my oil.
(16:44):
OK, Like literally I forgot whatyou look.
Like TT, change your. Oil Yeah, it just Oh my God.
Does your family have any like different names for like uncles,
aunts, grandpa's, grandma's parents or do you guys go like
what it what's the roster? No, we didn't until now.
The what is it? Second general?
(17:04):
I don't know Until my niece was born and now my grandma's.
Mimi. I think my.
No, but was did your? Mom a beard?
That's pretty dope actually. Yeah, because, well, because
both of her grandpas have the same name.
Oh yeah. And my which my dad doesn't have
a beard anymore but for the longest time he had a beard so
she would call him Papa beard. What I'm asking though, is there
(17:26):
any designated names other than like grandpa, grandma, uncle,
aunt? Auntie.
Auntie. Yeah.
OK. So like, you don't have like,
Mimi or like that wasn't like, oh, I'm going to be Papa and I'm
going to be Mimi and I'm going to be Mima and like all that
stuff. No, because I lived in the South
for a while and everybody got different names for everything.
(17:47):
Yeah. All over the place.
Yeah. Like, it's wild.
We got Mimas. I'm sure there's like a name in
Croatian for grandma and grandpa.
I don't know it but I feel like if I did I might have called my
grandma and grandpa that becausethree out of four my
grandparents are Croatian. And you're Irish.
Irish, Croatian and Scottish. It's not like I got like
shamrocks and potatoes. Is this racist?
(18:09):
No, I have. To Oh, Emma, we're sorry she had
to pee. Oh, it's a pee break.
It's a pee break. It's a pee break.
I want to take it back to our kids, our potential kids.
OK, first of all, I wonder, like, what kind of children's
shows will be on? I'm sure it'll still be like
(18:30):
Bloopy, bloopy, bloopy, bloopy and Blippy and Miss Rachel and
those classics. Yeah, and obviously we're going
to make them watch like the old Disney.
Movies. What did you used to watch like
as a childhood show? As a show, so I didn't have TV
growing up. Oh God.
Yeah, you knew that. That's you're just like right on
the verge of a homeschool kid. I would watch it at my friend's
(18:51):
house though, and I loved DisneyChannel, Nickelodeon, all the
classics. Of course, like SpongeBob.
Or. I like the classics.
I, I wasn't super into SpongeBob, but I was more into
like Disney Channel, like HannahMontana, Wizards away where he
plays. You weren't like a Cartoon
Network Nickelodeon kid. I loved Johnny Danger.
No Johnny Danger. Johnny Danger.
(19:12):
Is that what it was called I. Think so?
I didn't watch that one. I.
Don't know if that's the right one.
It was like a little kid cartoonand he had.
Johnny Danger. It doesn't sound right.
Johnny Danger. No, that doesn't sound.
Right. Yeah, that's not it.
Johnny Bravo? No Jonny Quest.
No, no, I would watch the classics.
(19:33):
I did have a little crush on Danny Fountain.
Oh. Danny Phantom.
Danny Phantom. Kim Possible and she go.
Yeah, I. Used to look up.
Oh God. Fan art, then kissing.
Oh my God. When I was like young, can you
look them up? Oh, that's so relatable.
(19:57):
Yeah, we'll go to YouTube and belike Kim Possible and she go
dating. That was like your little
secret. I don't.
Even know how I know that I'm gay?
I remember we had a portable DVDplayer and I don't even know if
I want to say this. I'm just going to roll with it.
I hope there's people that can relate.
I had a portable DVD player. You know, we didn't have
smartphones or anything, and we had The Incredibles DVD.
(20:21):
Of course you were in love with Missus.
Incredible. Yeah, when she gets stuck.
Yeah, in the like the subway cars.
I know what you're talking about.
You know what I'm talking about.Yeah, I do.
Yeah. Because I also like that that
was like that was, that was yeah, yeah, yeah.
What were your favorite shows though growing up?
Oh, Blue's Clues. I was the first preschooler at
(20:42):
the school I was going to to perform in the talent show, and
I did Blue's Clues with my then girlfriend.
I did the intro. Like I dressed up as Steve and I
did the intro and my girlfriend at the time was dressed up as
Blue. You can bleep this, but you know
who you are. Yeah.
Cute. So just blue.
'S clues. There's always Blue's Clues, and
(21:03):
then it was Arthur and then it was SpongeBob, and then it was a
lot of Animal Planet Discovery Channel, like Heavy on Steve
Irwin, Jeff Corwin, Zabumafu, like, Oh my God, you know, you
don't know any of these shows. I know all of those shows.
Oh, OK. I feel like you're talking about
when you were young. Young.
What's crazy is like. That is young.
That was young for me. Yeah, that's what I'm.
(21:23):
Saying yeah. I don't have any shows from that
time of my life. That's crazy because I didn't
watch shows. Yeah.
Arthur. You didn't watch Arthur, I think
it was. What a wonderful time of day.
I think a chance. To learn and play.
I think it was on like a daycareand stuff.
Do you know the 1st movie you ever saw in theaters?
In theaters, man. For my 6th birthday we were in
(21:49):
Kauai. It was like the one time I ever
went on a plane in my childhood and Jurassic Park 3 was
premiering. I was six years old and my whole
family in one saw that and my dad took me to Cats and Dogs and
I think that same year, The Tigger Movie.
(22:09):
I specifically remember watchingThe Tigger Movie And what was
the other one? I was just saying.
Cats and dogs. Cats and dogs and then Shrek.
I remember Shrek and Finding Nemo.
I think, Oh my God. I'm trying to think of like
first theater experience. Elf.
Elf. These are like the first ones
(22:30):
that I remember going to the theater for.
Yeah, I remember the cut out of Will Ferrell and like, standing
next to it. Yeah.
What was of your first theater? I don't remember it, but when I
was three years old, my first movie that my mom ever took me
in theaters was Monsters, Inc. And it was.
Cute because at the time I was 3, she called me Boo and I had a
little stuffed Kitty that I called Kitty.
(22:51):
I still have Kitty, you know Kitty.
Yeah. So it was Boo and Kitty, and it
was the first movie I ever saw in theaters, and it was Boo and
Kitty. I remember going to see Shrek
and my dad. It was me, my brother, and my
dad, and we went and saw Shrek, and I remember the drive home,
my dad was quoting the movie like that.
(23:13):
Like literally my dad. Every morning he had a system.
He would wake up and he had to go #2 and he'd be down on the
toilet and we'd just be like down there.
But we knew what he was doing inthere.
And after we watched Shrek, he would yell from the bathroom,
like that'll ever happen. Because you know, in the
beginning of the movie when Shrek, he goes, that'll ever
happen. And he rips out the page and he
uses the fairy tale book to wipehis ass.
(23:34):
You don't know what I'm talking about.
I've seen Shrek so many times. That's the thing with me in
movies is, is I just. Are you kidding me right now?
Throw it out of my brain. Oh my God, yeah, my dad would
go. Well, like, that'll ever happen,
he'd yelled at from the bathroom.
It was like, the first quotable movie.
And I don't know, like, I wish Icould remember the order of it,
but like, Shrek, on the way home, we were pissing ourselves
(23:55):
laughing while my dad was quoting the movie back to us.
And then I remember we got the Shrek soundtrack All Star.
Of course, Inspector Gadget. I had seen before that I loved
Inspector. Gadget.
That was first movie theater experiences, but like the first
movies I ever watched. What were your favorite?
Give me three of your top favorite movies from your
(24:17):
childhood. Like that I watched like, as a
kid. OK, yeah.
Ace Ventura Pet Detective. I watched way too early.
I have a Ace Ventura tattoo on my arm.
Love Ace Ventura. I remember we watched the mask
in Jurassic Park and Ace Venturawhen nature calls at my aunt's
place. And then Ventura Pet Detective
(24:39):
Bug's Life, The Sandlot. I'm just trying to Old Yeller.
I'm trying to think of what was on rotation.
Yeah. And then like, those are my Toy
Story. Toy Story 2.
Of course, of course classics. I mean, like, and then all the
Disney classics. Yeah, like all of them.
Literally just from Sleeping Beauty to Snow White to Beauty
and the Beast. So I was a Little Mermaid girl,
(25:03):
I suppose. My little sister.
As I have red hair, no, I love well, you have my hair right
now, but I love The Little Mermaid.
I still I can play part of your world on the piano.
I talked about piano lessons in my last in the last episode.
That was the one song I ever learned outside of the Suzuki
method was Part of your world. I don't know when.
(25:24):
Yeah. And then I loved Cinderella, but
more specifically, Cinderella three.
What? Yeah, have you ever?
Did you even notice? There's 3.
Yeah, yeah, I. Think I knew there was a sequel,
never saw it. Yeah, the second one.
I did not know there was a third.
The second one is all about the stepsisters and then the third
(25:46):
one the evil stepmom. Yeah, she.
Gets the magic wand and she turns back.
Time to make it so that Cinderella never gets in love
with the Prince. Spoiler alerts What if I wanted
to watch it? It's been out for like 20 years.
So there's this one scene, though, in Cinderella 3, where
the Prince is like trying to go get her or something, and he's
(26:09):
like being stopped by his dad onthe stairs in the castle, and he
just looks at his dad and then glances at the window and then
just leaps out the window. And to me, that was Pete Comedy.
That was the funniest thing. Me and my friend, one of my
neighbor girls, the one that wasyounger than me, we learned the
entire script and then went and performed it for our parents.
(26:32):
Yeah, I loved it so much. And then aside from Cinderella,
Little Mermaid, Tarzan. Oh my God, yeah, 2 worlds and
one family. But they decide.
You'll be in my heart. Yeah.
You'll be in my heart from this day on.
(26:58):
Now when? Forevermore.
Oh, no, wait. You know what movie I also like?
Like favorite. Hold on.
No, you have to let me get this out of me.
Harriet the Spy. What?
Harriet. Have you never seen Harriet?
Sad. Very sad.
The main the main actress. She was a child at the time
(27:21):
during the movie, but she just passed away recently.
Very sad but. You never heard of it?
We have to. It has Rosie O'Donnell, which
when I was a child, because my last name is O'Donnell, I used
to be like Rosie. O'Donnell is my long last aunt
that nobody knows about. I love that movie.
I loved that movie with my wholeheart.
I would watch it on repeat. I loved it.
I loved it. I loved it, I loved it.
Aaron Trap with Lindsay. Lohan, have you ever watched the
(27:42):
original 1? Yeah, but like we watched the
Lindsay Lohan 1 I don't know howmany times.
When I was younger I preferred the original one we had both on
DVD. But yeah, I remember the
original too. But Lindsay Lohan was classic,
yeah. It was classic no?
No, no, no. In light of Kim Possible and she
(28:03):
go yeah, in light of Miss Incredible, yeah.
What's your Disney baddie rosterlike?
Who would you end up with? I'm so bad at doing these.
I'm so bad at doing these off the top of my head.
No, don't overthink it. It's truly it's in no particular
order. Like who pops to the front of
your brain? I'm telling you, it is a blank
canvas up in there right now. I really say, oh, I could not
(28:26):
tell you. I have no idea I'm.
Just going to throw some at you,OK Princess Jasmine?
OK, I wasn't really into any of the Disney princesses.
She was my childhood crush. Jasmine and Cameron Diaz from
the mask. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
No, OK. Well, it's not Disney.
You said Disney specifically. So I was thinking about.
(28:47):
Disney OK, OK, but I just. You're, you know about this one,
Martha May. Martha May who?
Yeah, that shot where she's. Literally awoke something in me.
Oh, it awoke something in me. Foley What?
(29:11):
Martha May, Betty, Hi. I'm just trying to keep up with
you. Martha may fucking love that
shit. She's beautiful.
And then she walks up. Oh yeah, the.
(29:31):
Oh my God, Yeah, my. Heart.
My heart belongs to another. I have dressed up as her before.
Oh yeah, it was good. I popped off.
What? Do you mean it was good?
I looked good. Oh, like who was that lucky
bastard? No, Oh my God, no, no.
When Christmas rolls around, though, I'm so down to turn you
(29:52):
into the Grinch and turn me intoMartha May.
Oh, that's happy. You know how like this how we're
dressed up right now? Yeah, is not happening.
Martha May and the Grinch or Christmas episodes when we like,
we can do. Oh, there's going to be a lot
more looks coming, guys. Like, if you don't know, Bryn
does makeup very well. If you can't tell already, she
(30:13):
literally whip this up in under an hour.
I shit you not. Yeah, so impressive.
Thank you. You look just like I do.
It pretty well very random if you had to choose five liquids
to shoot from your fingers. My finger spouts.
Yeah. And like, never ending.
Yeah, never. Like my 5.
(30:34):
Finger Single finger was a spoutthat would squirt out a liquid.
It was always filled. Man.
What would you do? I don't know why, but Wing Stop
Ranch came right to the front ofmy head.
I know why Wing Stop Ranch, because it's fucking delicious.
I would bathe in that shit. I remember that was one of the
first things when we started talking.
I just was like, I just DoorDashWingstop and you're like, I love
(30:57):
Wingstop Ranch. And I'd I'd order the big
ranches just to keep my fridge. And I then the next day, real
fat boy. Oh, real fat bitch energy right
here. Big back.
Let's get it. Oh, yeah.
Where are my fatties at? Where's my chubby girls?
Where's my chubby boys? I get so amped for food.
Yes, I would get the big Wingstop ranch, Right.
(31:21):
Yeah, and then I would dip my wings in it.
I got about half of it left ordering pizza the next day.
Yeah, you're not special in that.
I feel like that's such a. Oh my God.
Such a normal thing to do. Is it?
Yeah. No, no, I came up with that.
(31:41):
Yeah, you're so original. Wing stop ranch.
Out the finger, though. Yeah, out the finger.
I just. OK, so we have one of yours.
Yeah. Well, by you, you do 1 OK, You
don't got, you don't got anything off the top of your
head. Tziki.
Tziki sauce. Yeah, the great value ranch.
It's good, but it's not as good as ranch.
It's better than. Ranch.
(32:02):
Look, we can kind of add ours together because we're together
all the time. Yeah, OK.
OK, name your second one. Oh, OK, hold on.
I know mine. I know what I'm doing.
Fucking ice water. That was mine.
Ice water for me and for every 5minutes.
Maria, can you get my? Are you getting up right?
Now I'm just stuck on your fingers.
(32:23):
I'm getting up right now. Oh yeah?
Oh, that'll be just fucking Mario.
Like a little gerbil. Yeah, just gasoline, obviously.
Oh, you just spray it on your enemies?
Just fucking flip a match. No, I meant more so that you
don't have to pay for gas prices.
(32:45):
But wow, that's. I'm not malicious like that.
That's I thought the same thing.I thought that was obvious.
That's why I just skipped right over it.
I didn't immediately think of like, dousing your enemies with
gasoline as my first thought. You need a.
Lighter at very least if you want to go down that.
Road carry that with me for sure.
OK. So we have, I guess we had 10.
Wait, no, between us, Between us, But I have Wing Stop Ranch.
(33:07):
And water. Water you.
Have ranch and water. I have tizzy and gas.
Oh my God, we got to get some hot sauce in here.
Sriracha. Sriracha Cholula or Tapatio or
Valentina or like Tabasco is good with some breakfast stuff I
like. That I'm a sriracha girly.
Through I do love Sriracha, but I like that Latin heat.
(33:29):
You know what I'm talking about.It lingers.
I. Know you do I think like
Cholula. OK.
Cholula. You get Cholula, I'll take
Sriracha. OK, that Asian heat goes away
quick. I don't like super spicy things.
I don't like a long burn. I like a short burn.
(33:53):
You sound like my urologist. Sorry.
We've all been there, right? Anyways I.
Have to I have to pee again you.Have to pee again.
Yeah. Oh my God.
She has the bladder of a pigeon.Oh, my God.
Look it. Say goodbye, Say pistachio,
Pistachio, Pistachio. Say goodbye, pistachio.
(34:15):
Say but goodbye. Say pistachio.
I'm so sorry, Emma. Pistachio.
You got to get back here. Sorry.
All right. I spread my wings and I learn
how to fly. I'll do what it takes till I
touch the sky. I get Sriracha, you get Tapatio
or whatever the fuck. I'm going to get Cholula.
(34:36):
Cholula. I like Cholula.
OK, so we're each at 3, correct?Wingstop Water.
Cholula. I have taziki gas and sriracha.
Oh OK OK I want some like the hot sauce could be self-defense
but I think I'm going to go withsprayed.
It's mine. King cobra venom.
(35:00):
OK, Yeah. God, you're evil.
No, no, no. No, no, no, no.
Think about it, Think about it, think about it.
I am like a spitting cobra. So like self-defense.
I just got on tap on tap. How often are you in situations
where you have to use self-defense?
I don't know. Oh my God, I'm being held
hostage. They leave the room, they leave
their water out. Has.
That ever. Happened.
Oh, that was the spicy finger. Has that ever happened to you?
(35:23):
You have gasoline coming out of your finger?
Yeah, OK. OK, you can have your.
Venom. What's wrong with the venom?
I basically have a superpower atthat point like.
OK. I probably.
Oh man. For me, I would do lip gloss as
one of them. Lip gloss.
Yeah, So I could just just reapply all the time.
(35:45):
Yeah, 'cause when we're getting attacked, I'm gonna be like Bryn
the lip gloss now. I have gas and hot sauce, what
else do you want from me? Well, I'm just saying, you said
king cobra venom spitting cobra venom.
You're just saying snake venom is ridiculous.
But like lip gloss? Like what's?
Because once again, how often have we?
I've been in more situations probably where I've had to like
(36:05):
fight, move. That sounds bad, that sounds
terrible, and it is. I don't know you're.
I didn't even hear what you said.
I've had more situations where Iwould like to fight a man off of
me than you have. And you don't want snake venom.
Of gasoline and hot sauce. Yeah, but you're probably going
to burn too. So I would like lip gloss
because again, my job is also doing makeup.
(36:29):
That's true. Yeah, I still have one more.
I still have one more too. I thought about Lube, vodka,
lemon drop shots, lemon drop shots.
I was about to, I was about to say I was like, can you mix?
(36:49):
Like have a mixed drink come out.
No, just lemon drop shots or vodka vodka.
Vodka. Yeah, another one I could put in
my enemy's eyes. Because you care about that.
Another one I my enemy. 'S eyes.
But also imagine being at the club and just you're pinky out,
just shot for you, shot for you,everybody.
Else I'd be I'd have my finger out with the water like Brent,
(37:12):
stop it. You could do like a Red Bull for
one of yours. Oh, I.
Love Red Bull? Yeah, Oh my.
God. Yeah, or Mountain Dew.
Mountain Dew. I was the kid that wasn't
allowed to have Mountain Dew when I was a child.
That checks out, yeah. Yeah, they were like a dollar at
the high school football games. And like, remember my dad
(37:33):
sometimes will give us like 5 bucks.
Like if we want to get a concession I'd just buy like 5
mountain dews and like the kids would come over to watch me just
chug these mountain dews and then go crazy and then.
Oh God. Oh.
God, that was me. I forgot about that.
And now you have substance abuse.
I don't know how I ended up. I don't know.
I don't know how I became an alcoholic.
(37:54):
I learned from an early age thatdrinking to amuse others in
large quantities was very beneficial for me in social
settings. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I. Didn't even realize that till
now. Who needs a therapist when you
have a Thera podcast? Oh.
I have a therapist. What's the last?
(38:15):
I already said all 5. Wingstop Ranch Water Cholula
snake venom. I need one more.
I thought we were doing Red Bull.
I'm not. I don't want to do Red Bull or
Mountain Dew. OK, what's funny is that you're
the person who has prompted thisa plentiful amount of times.
(38:36):
Duh. Horse, Horse gravy.
Why? Horse gravy.
Why? Because you know how much that
goes for, You know how much money I can make if I had, like,
premier Arabian horse gravy coming out of the pinky that I
could just, like, fill up vials for scientists.
(38:58):
And then it's like, you get a horse, you get a horse.
Like, I'm thinking like money. If money was liquid, I would
just have liquid money come out.But it's coin and paper and
electronic. Wait.
Is gold. Gold can be a liquid.
Yeah. Can it?
Yeah. Wait, so let's forget about the
horse gravy and I'm going to go with Gold I.
(39:22):
Would hope you would choose goldover horse semen personally I
thought. It would.
I'm trying to. Wait so my five are tzatziki,
sriracha, gasoline, vodka, and what was the other one?
See, I told you you didn't do a fifth one.
I thought I did. See, I told you.
(39:42):
I told you, I told. You.
I thought I did. No lip gloss.
Lip gloss shit. So my five are tzatziki,
sriracha, gasoline, lip gloss, and vodka.
Yes. Yeah.
Oh, I like. That's me.
That is that's, that's awesome. That's a good one.
That's who I am. And then mine.
We already said your. As long as I got the ranch, I'm
(40:04):
good, I'm good to go. You asked me this on our first
date. What?
What my 5 fingers would be? I did.
Yeah, you asked me this on our first date.
Oh my. God, so many year ago.
So many year ago. Damn.
Yeah. What do you think the best date
is that we've been on? Oh, we're about to go on it this
weekend. Is that what you have planned?
(40:24):
Yes. Mario's taking me to Scottsdale
and I have no idea what we're doing.
Oh, yeah, I looked it up and I, oh, you're, you're literally
gonna shit your pants. Oh, you guys will see.
You guys will see. I'm pretty sure you guys will
have seen before this even comesout.
We can talk about it next one. Yeah, but yeah, no, this
weekend, I guarantee it. I guarantee it'll be the best
(40:45):
date that you've ever had. I'm excited, yeah, but what do
you think our best date has been?
I remember one of the 1st dates we went on, I took you to Hell's
Kitchen. Yeah.
And I didn't know how early you had to get a reservation.
And so we, like, literally went at like 11:30 or like 11:00 at
(41:06):
night. Yeah, because it was the only
time I could get it. Yeah.
And it was so good, though, because I'd never been.
We got the Beef Wellington. It was.
That was really fun for my birthday.
You don't remember where you took me for my birthday?
Oh yeah, after your birthday I was like, I didn't even see you
on her birthday. Oh yeah, I was working.
Yeah. But no, the you took me to the
San Diego Zoo. I'm telling the I like, I'm
(41:30):
saying this right now. If the San Diego Zoo had rides,
Disney, Universal. What?
Yeah. You can walk around drinking and
then you can just see these amazing exotic animals living
their best lives. Yeah.
Like that's I was going to say either San Diego or when we went
to Universal, not Universal Disneyland the first time we
(41:53):
went to. Disneyland.
That's why I was thinking about Disneyland.
But the San Diego Zoo, we saw all the different animals.
Yeah. And they were so beautiful.
And we're just drinking and walking around.
It was really fun. And I like, like I said, I was
like Animal Planet Discovery Channel kid.
Yeah. So like, I like literally being
right underneath the giraffes orlike, right next to a rhino.
Yeah. Are you kidding me?
(42:14):
Oh yeah, we got to watch. What was it?
We got to watch the cheetah eat food.
Yes. No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's the Jaguar. There's a Jaguar.
Jaguar. The Jaguar.
Either way, it was really cool. They just like had.
A piece of it was a or a leopardmight have been a leopard.
I thought it was a cheetah. Not a cheetah.
Not a cheetah. Maybe a leopard, I don't know,
But they strung up a piece of meat on like a wire and they
like reeled it into the cage andthen the thing went crazy.
(42:35):
It was so cool. Yeah, it was like 90% sure it
was a leopard or No, it was a Jaguar and they were talking
about how its tongue can literally their tongue.
Is your skin? Yeah, their tongue is serrated,
so they'll lick the meat to break it up and then they'll eat
it. We also got to see the polar
bears, yes. Oh, my God, Yeah.
It was so awesome. The San Diego Zoo, I'm telling
you. Like, if they had, like, roller
(42:56):
coasters there, like, it would be the only place I'd ever go.
Yeah. It would be the greatest theme
park on Earth. Yeah.
I'm excited to see whatever we're doing next week.
I'm telling you this weekend, this is the best way I could put
it. This weekend will be your
version of the San Diego Zoo. I loved animals.
I love going to San Diego. Yeah.
And so like this is something that I don't want to give you
(43:18):
hints, OK? But this will be.
I want hints. I want to be surprised.
Hell's Kitchen, Disneyland and the San Diego Zoo.
Yeah. But they don't have to be that
exotic either. I was going to say, but also our
Valentine's Day last year, even though I ended up throwing up in
the parking lot, that was one ofmy favorite dates.
(43:39):
Too, Yeah. It was a really cute one.
That was when I fell in love with you.
Yeah, that's when I knew I fell in love with you.
Cuz I played some Neil Diamond, yeah.
Yep. We went to Trattoruska
Rostatika, Italian joint. I was a regular and I'd go in
there and they knew me. They're all Italian.
I'm Italian. They heard Mario be like Mario
and it was like, it was just awesome.
(43:59):
I'll go in. There and then when we went, the
wife of the owner, she knew me from social media.
Yeah. And so she's like, Oh my God,
hi. But it was funny because.
She's like, what are you doing with Chubster over here that
comes in What? What are you doing with this
scrub that comes in here in his pajamas and eats vodka pasta all
day? Yeah.
We need to go back there, I know.
(44:19):
It's so good, it's so good. It's.
So yummy. Keith Lee, if you're listening,
go check it out and I I'm sure they're doing just he.
Doesn't live here anymore, does he?
I don't know. I don't think he does.
We're based out of Vegas, yeah, if you don't know Keith Lee,
Keith Lee food reviewer, but very well known I'm.
Very excited for this weekend though.
I'm excited to talk about it next week, whatever it may be.
(44:40):
I have no idea what I'm excited to talk about.
Whatever it may be, I will leaveyou, Lord, to the dance, said
He. Dance, dance, wherever you may
be. What?
No. No, you.
Don't know where that's from. I have.
Literally no idea. I thought we were both raised
Catholic. That was like a Catholic banger.
Do you remember those Catholic bangers?
(45:02):
No, I think I trauma blocked a lot of.
It I haven't been to church in my entire adult life.
I have. Oh yeah, and take one final
look. I mean, do you like it?
Do you? Like it?
Our audible listeners, we're looking right into the camera,
OK? We're looking right at you.
I'm looking good. We love you.
I'm looking like you owe me somechild support.
(45:22):
OK? You understand me, Jeff.
Hey, Jeff. Woody.
All right, we love you. Oh, you.
Have a nose ring? I do.
I would look good with a nose ring.
We love you guys so much. Thank you so much for listening.
We hope you enjoyed the podcast.Make sure to follow us on all of
our socials all across the greatwide web.
(45:43):
We're having a blast. Yeah, we'll see you next.
Week. See you next week.
Thanks for listening. Follow us.
We're pretty funny.
Oh baby, I love you, Wig. Oh Cosmo, I love you Wig.
Are they all recording? I think they're all recording.
Can you make sure my wig's good?It's.
Not can. You help me.
How's that? I look beautiful.
You look. Absolutely gorgeous.
(00:28):
Yeah, that's beautiful. Like this?
Yeah, look at yourself. Oh my God.
You look so gorgeous. I've been a bad bitch for 5
minutes. It's already so overstimulating
so I can't. I can't.
I don't know. How you deal with hairs all up
in your? How I deal with hair.
(00:51):
Yeah. Look at all this.
Oh my God, I feel like there's aflock of mosquitoes just just on
my face. Like go like this.
I could never live like this, ever.
Oh my God, Immediately. When people say by panic, this
is what they mean. Yes, we're trying to get you to
panic. I played.
Mario earlier. You look like my teenage son.
(01:13):
EW. What do you mean EW?
Because I know what we're going to probably do after this.
Not anymore. Show them the tattoo for our
listeners. We're dressed as each other.
OK, She beat my face up. Beat that boy with the bat.
What is it? I beat your face.
Yes, that which in. In girl, it means that I did
(01:36):
your makeup. Oh, OK.
I did a full beat. I did a full face makeup.
I got the Brin special. Do you know how many girls are
jealous of you right now becauseI did your makeup?
You. It's literally like you painted
the Mona Lisa on a bathroom stall door.
You know what I mean? Like, what is this canvas?
Why would you do this? You look you I I'd hang with
(01:56):
you. Like honestly, I'd hang with
you. I look pretty good as a boy.
Bryn's got a backwards hat on, she's got a mustache, she's
wearing one of my T-shirts and Ilook.
Pretty good. You ready to roll the intro?
Yeah, you, you do it this time. I've done it twice.
Go ahead. All right, roll the intro.
(02:24):
Welcome back to the Pretty FunnyPodcast.
I'm Brynn. And I'm Mario.
Except I look like Mario. And I look like Brynn.
Gorgeous. You look pretty good.
I'm getting. Delectable delicious bubble gum
booty, Batty Gucci, Gorgeous goddess, sexy siren sorcerers,
GLAMOROUS Fergie. Like a lava lamp.
(02:45):
Fergie like a lava lamp. Yeah.
Everyone talks shit on it till they try it.
Yeah, you try doing it. I had my own for you at one
point but I completely that exited my brain.
I literally just feel like I'm talking to a homie.
This is this is wild. Yeah.
For those of you watching, to answer your question, no we
(03:06):
haven't yet. I suggested it.
We did a little smooch. We kissed before we started the
podcast. And I was like, Can you imagine
doing that right now? And I can, I can.
But would you do me like this? Would I do you looking like an
adolescent version of myself? Yeah, but I have boobies.
(03:31):
I don't want to see me like I don't want to.
Oh man. When I go to show this is a.
Slippery slope. This is a very slippery slope.
Remember what just happened on White Lotus?
This is how it starts. The brothers.
No no, no, no, no. Spoiler alert No, no, no, no, no
no. When Walton Goggins character is
(03:54):
talking to his homie at that dinner and there's that big
trauma dump, I feel like I couldjust go to therapy instead.
If we were to do the do right like this, we could try.
I don't want. To.
I don't want to. I was asking you, but I don't
want. To I know you'd be down for
this, yeah, you would Look at this.
(04:14):
Look at this I. Have often thought that if there
was a clone of me out in the world, I would.
Do the amount of people that think that we're related, I'm
not joking. People comment all the time and
they're like, you guys look so much alike.
Are you are like I've seen the comment.
Are they siblings or is this a couple so many times, so many
(04:36):
times. And then now that I'm looking at
you dressed like me, you do kindof look like me.
It's kind of freaking me out. I'm going to be honest, you
don't really look like me. That's rude.
You have a giant Caterpillar on your face.
You could have said I look a little like you because you're
actually the good looking one inthis relationship.
(04:56):
That's not what I meant at. All, you look nothing like me,
you pig. Well, I don't have a mustache.
I have a question. What?
Well, actually, no, it's not really a question for you.
It's more of a statement about myself, because I know your
answer. What if there was a clone of
you? Would you?
Yeah, that's just masturbation. So you would.
(05:17):
If it's a clone of me and I'm tired, like hey man, just can
you. I could just fall asleep.
But like, would you be into it because.
No, no, it's just it's an extension of myself.
I've always viewed clones as extensions of myself.
It's me with the same brain, same everything.
The most narcissistic, self obsessed way possible.
(05:38):
I would and I would be happy about.
It oh in like a weird way, yeah.Like mine would be just doing my
laundry and stuff, you know whatI mean?
Like. Oh no, I'm talking about sex,
baby. No, I talking about sex, baby.
I'm talking about you and me. Oh, my God.
I feel like. Oh, I Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
(05:58):
OK, I get it. Come here.
No, you're just some white guy now reaching for me with no
consent. That's actually terrifying.
Come here. Yes.
Did that help? For our listeners, she just
reached at me like a silverback gorilla.
Charger the hair out of his facelike a nice girlfriend.
Get over here. That was scary.
(06:21):
Oh my God. Now you know how it feels.
Like clutch my pearls. Oh, I can't wait to just
objectify you after this. Not with any objects, no.
What were we talking about? What were we talking about?
If I had a clone of myself. Oh yeah, yeah, no.
So a clone of myself would just be an extension of me, you know
what I mean? You would use it in a severance
(06:42):
type way. 100% but I would. I would let my no, but I'd let
my Annie be an Audi like I'd be.I'd be fine taking half.
You coexist. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
What was that movie? There's a movie that's literally
all about that that we watched. Multiplicity by with Michael
Keaton back in the day. That's a good one.
That's really, really good, because they keep just printing
(07:03):
out versions of. Themselves I would date myself.
No, I know you would. You get freaky real quick.
Yeah. And am I complaining?
Am I stopping you? Do I view that you?
Just have an extra 2 of me. Yo if there was a clone machine.
One of our cats is pooping rightnow.
(07:25):
I thought it was like dumping rain.
It's just them scratching in thelitter robot.
Cats at night make the worst noises.
I feel like a cat's main missionis to make you feel like you're
being burglarized. Burglarized.
Burglarized. All night long burgled.
I feel like your name is Pistachio and your your dad owns
(07:49):
a sandwich shop. Like, hey, this is how you
sound. That's what you look like.
It's kind of freaking me out. What do you think our kids are
going to look like? Take a good look.
If we have a can we bleep the name?
Can we? We'll bleep the name, but take a
good look. Take a really good look.
(08:11):
Wait, bleep that name? Yeah, that's a surprise.
Both of them. We already have our baby names
picked. Up we do, a boy.
And a girl. We have first and middle.
Yes, we know. And we talked about it severely
early. I really hope we only have a boy
and a girl too because otherwisewe're fucked.
Which one? How many kids would you want?
2. 2 No, you got to get a third.There's got to be a Malcolm in
(08:35):
the middle. There has to be, there has to,
there's to be an oldest, a middle and a youngest.
Maybe there can't just be like I'm not.
Opposed. You are in a two person.
You're in a two man, Yeah. Yeah, I have my older brother
Olson. Love you.
Hello. He's three years older than me.
He's a month older than you. Yeah.
You are like the same age. I'm just saying you grew up as a
two man, like I grew up as a five man.
(08:55):
Yeah, like my team would smoke your team.
Yeah. You were four out of five.
Yeah, I was two out of two. Yeah.
Yeah. So you don't feel like you
wanted like one more to the squad.
Where I grew up, I lived in a cul-de-sac and across the street
from me was a House of five, three girls, two boys.
That was OK. We were three boys and two
girls. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but two of the girls, 1 was a year older than me, one
(09:18):
was a year younger. OK, so I would just hang out
with them. They were like my sisters.
And then they even had a youngerbrother who was, I think he was
like 3 years younger than me andI would hang out with him and my
brother. We had a whole cul-de-sac.
Full of kids. Yeah, we too.
We did too. That's what they Yeah, that's.
How we grew up, I had those two girls specifically.
I mean, I would kind of go back and forth depending on like what
phase of my life I was going through.
(09:39):
Like if I was wanting to be a little more mature and I was
hanging out with the older one alot more and then like I would
want to still play dolls and shewas kind of over that.
I would hang out with the younger one.
No, but I was really close with both of them.
That's super cool. Yeah.
So I didn't need like a younger sibling also in that sense.
I do think though, our kids, whether there's two or three of
them, there won't be one. First of all, never a single
(10:01):
child. Single children have their
place. My sister-in-law is one of the
closest people in my entire lifeand she is a single.
Child. I've known a lot of only Childs.
She's an only child, whether we have two or three kids.
Yeah. I think that we were just saying
how people all the time say thatwe look like we're related,
disgustingly enough. Yeah, we're not related.
Yeah, I'm just saying I think they're going to.
(10:22):
There's certain families. Have you ever looked at a family
and you're like, I can tell thatyou're all related.
Like you look like exactly your mom and your dad.
Have I ever experienced that? Yeah, I'm like all the kids look
the same and the kids look exactly like their parents.
I feel like that's going to be us.
Oh, OK. I was like, I've experienced
that a lot. Like most families look like
(10:44):
each other in the. Not always, no.
That family I was talking about that I was friends with growing
up, they all looked so different.
Oh well, that happens too I guess.
Yeah, OK. Even Coulson and I look decently
different. Yeah.
But there's some families, whichis what I'm talking.
About oh, like the photocopy families, the copy paste
families? Exactly.
(11:05):
The cookie cutter families. Yeah, where?
People literally like they post them on TikTok and they comment
and they're like, your parents literally just made a copy of
themselves. Yeah, yeah.
That's what I feel like our kids.
You feel like our kids are goingto be like that.
Oh, I hope they look more like you.
Have you showed off the tattoo yet?
Yeah. Oh my God.
Back on the topic of kids, when you were a kid, when.
You want two or three. I originally thought too, I
(11:27):
wouldn't be opposed to three. 3.Now are you questioning it?
You wanted. Three.
How do you want them though? Do you want triplets?
Do you want a twin set with likea?
We don't have twins that run in our families, so I don't think
that's. We don't.
Do you have twins that run in your family?
I don't know, like people are like bolding scoops a generation
twins, like I don't know what. Works.
(11:49):
Think about your siblings and your cousins.
Yeah, I don't know if I want to expose that.
Are there any twins? There's twins in my family.
Yes, I do have twins in my family.
But do I know if they run going to find my baby going to hold
(12:09):
her tight going to? Grab some afternoon delight.
I don't know the rest of the words OK.
I would like 3 kids. I think 3 kids is a good is
good. OK, I want them to not be twins
or triplets. So you just want like boom, boom
boom. I don't want to be pregnant with
more than one child at a time orhave to push out more than one
(12:31):
child. Don't.
Can't they just C-section that shit?
I don't want that either. And then just.
I don't want to have AC section unless I need it.
I don't want to give vaginal birth either though.
God. We can just adopt.
OK. I actually down to adopt.
Yeah, I so my entire life, like knowing that I'm bisexual and
(12:53):
knowing for the majority of my life that there was a chance I
would end up with a woman, I fora long time considered the fact
that I would either have to adopt or choose which one of us
would carry the baby or how. We would go about that.
I've already put a lot of thought into that, but I think
that between me and you, unless one of us is infertile, I would
like to. Have our own child.
(13:14):
Yeah, like I've never been. I don't know if anyone is, but
I've never been opposed to adopting, you know, like, if I
was infertile or sterile or whatever, or like we just
couldn't have a baby or we're struggling.
Like, I would immediately look into that.
Yeah. With all the happiness in my
heart. Like, I think that would be,
what a beautiful thing, like giving a gift, you know, to
someone who has lost their parents or came from horrible
(13:34):
circumstances or who knows, you know, or just doesn't have
anybody to love and care for them.
Like Oh my God, what just a beautiful, beautiful thing to be
able to provide. I do love the thought of having
like our own personalities intertwine and like literally a
product of our love. Oh yeah.
Like I love the idea of that, but like you were saying, if it
was at that point where we needed to adopt or if we wanted
(13:56):
to adopt, then I have never. Yeah, I don't think of that as a
negative thing. I.
Feel like I don't feel like adoption's brought up a lot.
And like like every time people talk about like think about
this, like it's like, oh, you guys want to have kids.
How many times does your relatives, your friends, your
coworkers, your family, like whatever ask you like, oh, you
guys are going to get married orthinking about kids or like when
(14:17):
you're like, well, you know, like it's very, very prevalent.
But like it's never like, do youguys ever think about like
adopting? Like no one ever says that.
And that's like the safest thingto say.
If you're talking to somebody about child rearing, like are
you thinking about starting a family?
You literally could just throw out adoption and it doesn't hurt
anybody's feelings. I'm not assuming that you're
pregnant. I'm not asking about your
(14:38):
complications with pregnancy. I'm just like, it's just strange
to me. People don't talk about it more
does that. Make sense if you immediately
went to adoption though, I thinkthat there are some nuances with
it. Typically adoption is considered
when there is a quote UN quote issue between people, whether or
not someone's infertile or if there are in the same sex
marriage or whatever the case may be.
(14:59):
I think that that's typically when adoption is brought up.
So if it was brought up to a straight childbearing or
childbearing capable couple, that's when then people kind of
give like a raised eyebrow. Yeah.
In general, unless people bring up their own plans when it comes
to bringing children into this worth, worth bringing children
(15:19):
into this earth or raising children, I think that A let
them bring it up how they want and B be respectful when you ask
questions, if you even ask questions.
I think through this conversation we realized when it
comes to your friends, family, parents, coworkers, maybe don't
bring it up under any circumstance.
Yeah, unless it's brought up to you.
(15:41):
Have you had any of your family members ask if we're going to
have kids? No, me neither.
Well, actually that's a lie. My sister-in-law, Katie, love
her with my entire heart. An only child.
I love her with my whole heart, she all the time.
Are you pregnant yet? Well, yeah, I think that's like
a silly little thing. Between you guys, that's not a.
(16:02):
Very like innocent. She's not like, oh I'm so
honestly so happy that my mom isnot one of those moms that's
like, make me a grandma. I can't wait to be a granny.
She's already a grandma. Yeah, she's Mimi.
Mimi and I'm TT. TT.
Yeah, you knew that. Well, is that only because
that's what they're capable of pronouncing, or is that like a
(16:23):
family thing? No, she calls, she calls me TT,
and she calls like Katie's best friend TT.
So everybody's TT. I'm also my niece's only TT.
She doesn't have any other. Well she's going to have an
uncle hopefully eventually, but she doesn't have any other
uncles or aunts. I'm her only TT.
You look like you're about to change my oil.
(16:44):
OK, Like literally I forgot whatyou look.
Like TT, change your. Oil Yeah, it just Oh my God.
Does your family have any like different names for like uncles,
aunts, grandpa's, grandma's parents or do you guys go like
what it what's the roster? No, we didn't until now.
The what is it? Second general?
(17:04):
I don't know Until my niece was born and now my grandma's.
Mimi. I think my.
No, but was did your? Mom a beard?
That's pretty dope actually. Yeah, because, well, because
both of her grandpas have the same name.
Oh yeah. And my which my dad doesn't have
a beard anymore but for the longest time he had a beard so
she would call him Papa beard. What I'm asking though, is there
(17:26):
any designated names other than like grandpa, grandma, uncle,
aunt? Auntie.
Auntie. Yeah.
OK. So like, you don't have like,
Mimi or like that wasn't like, oh, I'm going to be Papa and I'm
going to be Mimi and I'm going to be Mima and like all that
stuff. No, because I lived in the South
for a while and everybody got different names for everything.
(17:47):
Yeah. All over the place.
Yeah. Like, it's wild.
We got Mimas. I'm sure there's like a name in
Croatian for grandma and grandpa.
I don't know it but I feel like if I did I might have called my
grandma and grandpa that becausethree out of four my
grandparents are Croatian. And you're Irish.
Irish, Croatian and Scottish. It's not like I got like
shamrocks and potatoes. Is this racist?
(18:09):
No, I have. To Oh, Emma, we're sorry she had
to pee. Oh, it's a pee break.
It's a pee break. It's a pee break.
I want to take it back to our kids, our potential kids.
OK, first of all, I wonder, like, what kind of children's
shows will be on? I'm sure it'll still be like
(18:30):
Bloopy, bloopy, bloopy, bloopy and Blippy and Miss Rachel and
those classics. Yeah, and obviously we're going
to make them watch like the old Disney.
Movies. What did you used to watch like
as a childhood show? As a show, so I didn't have TV
growing up. Oh God.
Yeah, you knew that. That's you're just like right on
the verge of a homeschool kid. I would watch it at my friend's
(18:51):
house though, and I loved DisneyChannel, Nickelodeon, all the
classics. Of course, like SpongeBob.
Or. I like the classics.
I, I wasn't super into SpongeBob, but I was more into
like Disney Channel, like HannahMontana, Wizards away where he
plays. You weren't like a Cartoon
Network Nickelodeon kid. I loved Johnny Danger.
No Johnny Danger. Johnny Danger.
(19:12):
Is that what it was called I. Think so?
I didn't watch that one. I.
Don't know if that's the right one.
It was like a little kid cartoonand he had.
Johnny Danger. It doesn't sound right.
Johnny Danger. No, that doesn't sound.
Right. Yeah, that's not it.
Johnny Bravo? No Jonny Quest.
No, no, I would watch the classics.
(19:33):
I did have a little crush on Danny Fountain.
Oh. Danny Phantom.
Danny Phantom. Kim Possible and she go.
Yeah, I. Used to look up.
Oh God. Fan art, then kissing.
Oh my God. When I was like young, can you
look them up? Oh, that's so relatable.
(19:57):
Yeah, we'll go to YouTube and belike Kim Possible and she go
dating. That was like your little
secret. I don't.
Even know how I know that I'm gay?
I remember we had a portable DVDplayer and I don't even know if
I want to say this. I'm just going to roll with it.
I hope there's people that can relate.
I had a portable DVD player. You know, we didn't have
smartphones or anything, and we had The Incredibles DVD.
(20:21):
Of course you were in love with Missus.
Incredible. Yeah, when she gets stuck.
Yeah, in the like the subway cars.
I know what you're talking about.
You know what I'm talking about.Yeah, I do.
Yeah. Because I also like that that
was like that was, that was yeah, yeah, yeah.
What were your favorite shows though growing up?
Oh, Blue's Clues. I was the first preschooler at
(20:42):
the school I was going to to perform in the talent show, and
I did Blue's Clues with my then girlfriend.
I did the intro. Like I dressed up as Steve and I
did the intro and my girlfriend at the time was dressed up as
Blue. You can bleep this, but you know
who you are. Yeah.
Cute. So just blue.
'S clues. There's always Blue's Clues, and
(21:03):
then it was Arthur and then it was SpongeBob, and then it was a
lot of Animal Planet Discovery Channel, like Heavy on Steve
Irwin, Jeff Corwin, Zabumafu, like, Oh my God, you know, you
don't know any of these shows. I know all of those shows.
Oh, OK. I feel like you're talking about
when you were young. Young.
What's crazy is like. That is young.
That was young for me. Yeah, that's what I'm.
(21:23):
Saying yeah. I don't have any shows from that
time of my life. That's crazy because I didn't
watch shows. Yeah.
Arthur. You didn't watch Arthur, I think
it was. What a wonderful time of day.
I think a chance. To learn and play.
I think it was on like a daycareand stuff.
Do you know the 1st movie you ever saw in theaters?
In theaters, man. For my 6th birthday we were in
(21:49):
Kauai. It was like the one time I ever
went on a plane in my childhood and Jurassic Park 3 was
premiering. I was six years old and my whole
family in one saw that and my dad took me to Cats and Dogs and
I think that same year, The Tigger Movie.
(22:09):
I specifically remember watchingThe Tigger Movie And what was
the other one? I was just saying.
Cats and dogs. Cats and dogs and then Shrek.
I remember Shrek and Finding Nemo.
I think, Oh my God. I'm trying to think of like
first theater experience. Elf.
Elf. These are like the first ones
(22:30):
that I remember going to the theater for.
Yeah, I remember the cut out of Will Ferrell and like, standing
next to it. Yeah.
What was of your first theater? I don't remember it, but when I
was three years old, my first movie that my mom ever took me
in theaters was Monsters, Inc. And it was.
Cute because at the time I was 3, she called me Boo and I had a
little stuffed Kitty that I called Kitty.
(22:51):
I still have Kitty, you know Kitty.
Yeah. So it was Boo and Kitty, and it
was the first movie I ever saw in theaters, and it was Boo and
Kitty. I remember going to see Shrek
and my dad. It was me, my brother, and my
dad, and we went and saw Shrek, and I remember the drive home,
my dad was quoting the movie like that.
(23:13):
Like literally my dad. Every morning he had a system.
He would wake up and he had to go #2 and he'd be down on the
toilet and we'd just be like down there.
But we knew what he was doing inthere.
And after we watched Shrek, he would yell from the bathroom,
like that'll ever happen. Because you know, in the
beginning of the movie when Shrek, he goes, that'll ever
happen. And he rips out the page and he
uses the fairy tale book to wipehis ass.
(23:34):
You don't know what I'm talking about.
I've seen Shrek so many times. That's the thing with me in
movies is, is I just. Are you kidding me right now?
Throw it out of my brain. Oh my God, yeah, my dad would
go. Well, like, that'll ever happen,
he'd yelled at from the bathroom.
It was like, the first quotable movie.
And I don't know, like, I wish Icould remember the order of it,
but like, Shrek, on the way home, we were pissing ourselves
(23:55):
laughing while my dad was quoting the movie back to us.
And then I remember we got the Shrek soundtrack All Star.
Of course, Inspector Gadget. I had seen before that I loved
Inspector. Gadget.
That was first movie theater experiences, but like the first
movies I ever watched. What were your favorite?
Give me three of your top favorite movies from your
(24:17):
childhood. Like that I watched like, as a
kid. OK, yeah.
Ace Ventura Pet Detective. I watched way too early.
I have a Ace Ventura tattoo on my arm.
Love Ace Ventura. I remember we watched the mask
in Jurassic Park and Ace Venturawhen nature calls at my aunt's
place. And then Ventura Pet Detective
(24:39):
Bug's Life, The Sandlot. I'm just trying to Old Yeller.
I'm trying to think of what was on rotation.
Yeah. And then like, those are my Toy
Story. Toy Story 2.
Of course, of course classics. I mean, like, and then all the
Disney classics. Yeah, like all of them.
Literally just from Sleeping Beauty to Snow White to Beauty
and the Beast. So I was a Little Mermaid girl,
(25:03):
I suppose. My little sister.
As I have red hair, no, I love well, you have my hair right
now, but I love The Little Mermaid.
I still I can play part of your world on the piano.
I talked about piano lessons in my last in the last episode.
That was the one song I ever learned outside of the Suzuki
method was Part of your world. I don't know when.
(25:24):
Yeah. And then I loved Cinderella, but
more specifically, Cinderella three.
What? Yeah, have you ever?
Did you even notice? There's 3.
Yeah, yeah, I. Think I knew there was a sequel,
never saw it. Yeah, the second one.
I did not know there was a third.
The second one is all about the stepsisters and then the third
(25:46):
one the evil stepmom. Yeah, she.
Gets the magic wand and she turns back.
Time to make it so that Cinderella never gets in love
with the Prince. Spoiler alerts What if I wanted
to watch it? It's been out for like 20 years.
So there's this one scene, though, in Cinderella 3, where
the Prince is like trying to go get her or something, and he's
(26:09):
like being stopped by his dad onthe stairs in the castle, and he
just looks at his dad and then glances at the window and then
just leaps out the window. And to me, that was Pete Comedy.
That was the funniest thing. Me and my friend, one of my
neighbor girls, the one that wasyounger than me, we learned the
entire script and then went and performed it for our parents.
(26:32):
Yeah, I loved it so much. And then aside from Cinderella,
Little Mermaid, Tarzan. Oh my God, yeah, 2 worlds and
one family. But they decide.
You'll be in my heart. Yeah.
You'll be in my heart from this day on.
(26:58):
Now when? Forevermore.
Oh, no, wait. You know what movie I also like?
Like favorite. Hold on.
No, you have to let me get this out of me.
Harriet the Spy. What?
Harriet. Have you never seen Harriet?
Sad. Very sad.
The main the main actress. She was a child at the time
(27:21):
during the movie, but she just passed away recently.
Very sad but. You never heard of it?
We have to. It has Rosie O'Donnell, which
when I was a child, because my last name is O'Donnell, I used
to be like Rosie. O'Donnell is my long last aunt
that nobody knows about. I love that movie.
I loved that movie with my wholeheart.
I would watch it on repeat. I loved it.
I loved it. I loved it, I loved it.
Aaron Trap with Lindsay. Lohan, have you ever watched the
(27:42):
original 1? Yeah, but like we watched the
Lindsay Lohan 1 I don't know howmany times.
When I was younger I preferred the original one we had both on
DVD. But yeah, I remember the
original too. But Lindsay Lohan was classic,
yeah. It was classic no?
No, no, no. In light of Kim Possible and she
(28:03):
go yeah, in light of Miss Incredible, yeah.
What's your Disney baddie rosterlike?
Who would you end up with? I'm so bad at doing these.
I'm so bad at doing these off the top of my head.
No, don't overthink it. It's truly it's in no particular
order. Like who pops to the front of
your brain? I'm telling you, it is a blank
canvas up in there right now. I really say, oh, I could not
(28:26):
tell you. I have no idea I'm.
Just going to throw some at you,OK Princess Jasmine?
OK, I wasn't really into any of the Disney princesses.
She was my childhood crush. Jasmine and Cameron Diaz from
the mask. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
No, OK. Well, it's not Disney.
You said Disney specifically. So I was thinking about.
(28:47):
Disney OK, OK, but I just. You're, you know about this one,
Martha May. Martha May who?
Yeah, that shot where she's. Literally awoke something in me.
Oh, it awoke something in me. Foley What?
(29:11):
Martha May, Betty, Hi. I'm just trying to keep up with
you. Martha may fucking love that
shit. She's beautiful.
And then she walks up. Oh yeah, the.
(29:31):
Oh my God, Yeah, my. Heart.
My heart belongs to another. I have dressed up as her before.
Oh yeah, it was good. I popped off.
What? Do you mean it was good?
I looked good. Oh, like who was that lucky
bastard? No, Oh my God, no, no.
When Christmas rolls around, though, I'm so down to turn you
(29:52):
into the Grinch and turn me intoMartha May.
Oh, that's happy. You know how like this how we're
dressed up right now? Yeah, is not happening.
Martha May and the Grinch or Christmas episodes when we like,
we can do. Oh, there's going to be a lot
more looks coming, guys. Like, if you don't know, Bryn
does makeup very well. If you can't tell already, she
(30:13):
literally whip this up in under an hour.
I shit you not. Yeah, so impressive.
Thank you. You look just like I do.
It pretty well very random if you had to choose five liquids
to shoot from your fingers. My finger spouts.
Yeah. And like, never ending.
Yeah, never. Like my 5.
(30:34):
Finger Single finger was a spoutthat would squirt out a liquid.
It was always filled. Man.
What would you do? I don't know why, but Wing Stop
Ranch came right to the front ofmy head.
I know why Wing Stop Ranch, because it's fucking delicious.
I would bathe in that shit. I remember that was one of the
first things when we started talking.
I just was like, I just DoorDashWingstop and you're like, I love
(30:57):
Wingstop Ranch. And I'd I'd order the big
ranches just to keep my fridge. And I then the next day, real
fat boy. Oh, real fat bitch energy right
here. Big back.
Let's get it. Oh, yeah.
Where are my fatties at? Where's my chubby girls?
Where's my chubby boys? I get so amped for food.
Yes, I would get the big Wingstop ranch, Right.
(31:21):
Yeah, and then I would dip my wings in it.
I got about half of it left ordering pizza the next day.
Yeah, you're not special in that.
I feel like that's such a. Oh my God.
Such a normal thing to do. Is it?
Yeah. No, no, I came up with that.
(31:41):
Yeah, you're so original. Wing stop ranch.
Out the finger, though. Yeah, out the finger.
I just. OK, so we have one of yours.
Yeah. Well, by you, you do 1 OK, You
don't got, you don't got anything off the top of your
head. Tziki.
Tziki sauce. Yeah, the great value ranch.
It's good, but it's not as good as ranch.
It's better than. Ranch.
(32:02):
Look, we can kind of add ours together because we're together
all the time. Yeah, OK.
OK, name your second one. Oh, OK, hold on.
I know mine. I know what I'm doing.
Fucking ice water. That was mine.
Ice water for me and for every 5minutes.
Maria, can you get my? Are you getting up right?
Now I'm just stuck on your fingers.
(32:23):
I'm getting up right now. Oh yeah?
Oh, that'll be just fucking Mario.
Like a little gerbil. Yeah, just gasoline, obviously.
Oh, you just spray it on your enemies?
Just fucking flip a match. No, I meant more so that you
don't have to pay for gas prices.
(32:45):
But wow, that's. I'm not malicious like that.
That's I thought the same thing.I thought that was obvious.
That's why I just skipped right over it.
I didn't immediately think of like, dousing your enemies with
gasoline as my first thought. You need a.
Lighter at very least if you want to go down that.
Road carry that with me for sure.
OK. So we have, I guess we had 10.
Wait, no, between us, Between us, But I have Wing Stop Ranch.
(33:07):
And water. Water you.
Have ranch and water. I have tizzy and gas.
Oh my God, we got to get some hot sauce in here.
Sriracha. Sriracha Cholula or Tapatio or
Valentina or like Tabasco is good with some breakfast stuff I
like. That I'm a sriracha girly.
Through I do love Sriracha, but I like that Latin heat.
(33:29):
You know what I'm talking about.It lingers.
I. Know you do I think like
Cholula. OK.
Cholula. You get Cholula, I'll take
Sriracha. OK, that Asian heat goes away
quick. I don't like super spicy things.
I don't like a long burn. I like a short burn.
(33:53):
You sound like my urologist. Sorry.
We've all been there, right? Anyways I.
Have to I have to pee again you.Have to pee again.
Yeah. Oh my God.
She has the bladder of a pigeon.Oh, my God.
Look it. Say goodbye, Say pistachio,
Pistachio, Pistachio. Say goodbye, pistachio.
(34:15):
Say but goodbye. Say pistachio.
I'm so sorry, Emma. Pistachio.
You got to get back here. Sorry.
All right. I spread my wings and I learn
how to fly. I'll do what it takes till I
touch the sky. I get Sriracha, you get Tapatio
or whatever the fuck. I'm going to get Cholula.
(34:36):
Cholula. I like Cholula.
OK, so we're each at 3, correct?Wingstop Water.
Cholula. I have taziki gas and sriracha.
Oh OK OK I want some like the hot sauce could be self-defense
but I think I'm going to go withsprayed.
It's mine. King cobra venom.
(35:00):
OK, Yeah. God, you're evil.
No, no, no. No, no, no, no.
Think about it, Think about it, think about it.
I am like a spitting cobra. So like self-defense.
I just got on tap on tap. How often are you in situations
where you have to use self-defense?
I don't know. Oh my God, I'm being held
hostage. They leave the room, they leave
their water out. Has.
That ever. Happened.
Oh, that was the spicy finger. Has that ever happened to you?
(35:23):
You have gasoline coming out of your finger?
Yeah, OK. OK, you can have your.
Venom. What's wrong with the venom?
I basically have a superpower atthat point like.
OK. I probably.
Oh man. For me, I would do lip gloss as
one of them. Lip gloss.
Yeah, So I could just just reapply all the time.
(35:45):
Yeah, 'cause when we're getting attacked, I'm gonna be like Bryn
the lip gloss now. I have gas and hot sauce, what
else do you want from me? Well, I'm just saying, you said
king cobra venom spitting cobra venom.
You're just saying snake venom is ridiculous.
But like lip gloss? Like what's?
Because once again, how often have we?
I've been in more situations probably where I've had to like
(36:05):
fight, move. That sounds bad, that sounds
terrible, and it is. I don't know you're.
I didn't even hear what you said.
I've had more situations where Iwould like to fight a man off of
me than you have. And you don't want snake venom.
Of gasoline and hot sauce. Yeah, but you're probably going
to burn too. So I would like lip gloss
because again, my job is also doing makeup.
(36:29):
That's true. Yeah, I still have one more.
I still have one more too. I thought about Lube, vodka,
lemon drop shots, lemon drop shots.
I was about to, I was about to say I was like, can you mix?
(36:49):
Like have a mixed drink come out.
No, just lemon drop shots or vodka vodka.
Vodka. Yeah, another one I could put in
my enemy's eyes. Because you care about that.
Another one I my enemy. 'S eyes.
But also imagine being at the club and just you're pinky out,
just shot for you, shot for you,everybody.
Else I'd be I'd have my finger out with the water like Brent,
(37:12):
stop it. You could do like a Red Bull for
one of yours. Oh, I.
Love Red Bull? Yeah, Oh my.
God. Yeah, or Mountain Dew.
Mountain Dew. I was the kid that wasn't
allowed to have Mountain Dew when I was a child.
That checks out, yeah. Yeah, they were like a dollar at
the high school football games. And like, remember my dad
(37:33):
sometimes will give us like 5 bucks.
Like if we want to get a concession I'd just buy like 5
mountain dews and like the kids would come over to watch me just
chug these mountain dews and then go crazy and then.
Oh God. Oh.
God, that was me. I forgot about that.
And now you have substance abuse.
I don't know how I ended up. I don't know.
I don't know how I became an alcoholic.
(37:54):
I learned from an early age thatdrinking to amuse others in
large quantities was very beneficial for me in social
settings. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I. Didn't even realize that till
now. Who needs a therapist when you
have a Thera podcast? Oh.
I have a therapist. What's the last?
(38:15):
I already said all 5. Wingstop Ranch Water Cholula
snake venom. I need one more.
I thought we were doing Red Bull.
I'm not. I don't want to do Red Bull or
Mountain Dew. OK, what's funny is that you're
the person who has prompted thisa plentiful amount of times.
(38:36):
Duh. Horse, Horse gravy.
Why? Horse gravy.
Why? Because you know how much that
goes for, You know how much money I can make if I had, like,
premier Arabian horse gravy coming out of the pinky that I
could just, like, fill up vials for scientists.
(38:58):
And then it's like, you get a horse, you get a horse.
Like, I'm thinking like money. If money was liquid, I would
just have liquid money come out.But it's coin and paper and
electronic. Wait.
Is gold. Gold can be a liquid.
Yeah. Can it?
Yeah. Wait, so let's forget about the
horse gravy and I'm going to go with Gold I.
(39:22):
Would hope you would choose goldover horse semen personally I
thought. It would.
I'm trying to. Wait so my five are tzatziki,
sriracha, gasoline, vodka, and what was the other one?
See, I told you you didn't do a fifth one.
I thought I did. See, I told you.
(39:42):
I told you, I told. You.
I thought I did. No lip gloss.
Lip gloss shit. So my five are tzatziki,
sriracha, gasoline, lip gloss, and vodka.
Yes. Yeah.
Oh, I like. That's me.
That is that's, that's awesome. That's a good one.
That's who I am. And then mine.
We already said your. As long as I got the ranch, I'm
(40:04):
good, I'm good to go. You asked me this on our first
date. What?
What my 5 fingers would be? I did.
Yeah, you asked me this on our first date.
Oh my. God, so many year ago.
So many year ago. Damn.
Yeah. What do you think the best date
is that we've been on? Oh, we're about to go on it this
weekend. Is that what you have planned?
(40:24):
Yes. Mario's taking me to Scottsdale
and I have no idea what we're doing.
Oh, yeah, I looked it up and I, oh, you're, you're literally
gonna shit your pants. Oh, you guys will see.
You guys will see. I'm pretty sure you guys will
have seen before this even comesout.
We can talk about it next one. Yeah, but yeah, no, this
weekend, I guarantee it. I guarantee it'll be the best
(40:45):
date that you've ever had. I'm excited, yeah, but what do
you think our best date has been?
I remember one of the 1st dates we went on, I took you to Hell's
Kitchen. Yeah.
And I didn't know how early you had to get a reservation.
And so we, like, literally went at like 11:30 or like 11:00 at
(41:06):
night. Yeah, because it was the only
time I could get it. Yeah.
And it was so good, though, because I'd never been.
We got the Beef Wellington. It was.
That was really fun for my birthday.
You don't remember where you took me for my birthday?
Oh yeah, after your birthday I was like, I didn't even see you
on her birthday. Oh yeah, I was working.
Yeah. But no, the you took me to the
San Diego Zoo. I'm telling the I like, I'm
(41:30):
saying this right now. If the San Diego Zoo had rides,
Disney, Universal. What?
Yeah. You can walk around drinking and
then you can just see these amazing exotic animals living
their best lives. Yeah.
Like that's I was going to say either San Diego or when we went
to Universal, not Universal Disneyland the first time we
(41:53):
went to. Disneyland.
That's why I was thinking about Disneyland.
But the San Diego Zoo, we saw all the different animals.
Yeah. And they were so beautiful.
And we're just drinking and walking around.
It was really fun. And I like, like I said, I was
like Animal Planet Discovery Channel kid.
Yeah. So like, I like literally being
right underneath the giraffes orlike, right next to a rhino.
Yeah. Are you kidding me?
(42:14):
Oh yeah, we got to watch. What was it?
We got to watch the cheetah eat food.
Yes. No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's the Jaguar. There's a Jaguar.
Jaguar. The Jaguar.
Either way, it was really cool. They just like had.
A piece of it was a or a leopardmight have been a leopard.
I thought it was a cheetah. Not a cheetah.
Not a cheetah. Maybe a leopard, I don't know,
But they strung up a piece of meat on like a wire and they
like reeled it into the cage andthen the thing went crazy.
(42:35):
It was so cool. Yeah, it was like 90% sure it
was a leopard or No, it was a Jaguar and they were talking
about how its tongue can literally their tongue.
Is your skin? Yeah, their tongue is serrated,
so they'll lick the meat to break it up and then they'll eat
it. We also got to see the polar
bears, yes. Oh, my God, Yeah.
It was so awesome. The San Diego Zoo, I'm telling
you. Like, if they had, like, roller
(42:56):
coasters there, like, it would be the only place I'd ever go.
Yeah. It would be the greatest theme
park on Earth. Yeah.
I'm excited to see whatever we're doing next week.
I'm telling you this weekend, this is the best way I could put
it. This weekend will be your
version of the San Diego Zoo. I loved animals.
I love going to San Diego. Yeah.
And so like this is something that I don't want to give you
(43:18):
hints, OK? But this will be.
I want hints. I want to be surprised.
Hell's Kitchen, Disneyland and the San Diego Zoo.
Yeah. But they don't have to be that
exotic either. I was going to say, but also our
Valentine's Day last year, even though I ended up throwing up in
the parking lot, that was one ofmy favorite dates.
(43:39):
Too, Yeah. It was a really cute one.
That was when I fell in love with you.
Yeah, that's when I knew I fell in love with you.
Cuz I played some Neil Diamond, yeah.
Yep. We went to Trattoruska
Rostatika, Italian joint. I was a regular and I'd go in
there and they knew me. They're all Italian.
I'm Italian. They heard Mario be like Mario
and it was like, it was just awesome.
(43:59):
I'll go in. There and then when we went, the
wife of the owner, she knew me from social media.
Yeah. And so she's like, Oh my God,
hi. But it was funny because.
She's like, what are you doing with Chubster over here that
comes in What? What are you doing with this
scrub that comes in here in his pajamas and eats vodka pasta all
day? Yeah.
We need to go back there, I know.
(44:19):
It's so good, it's so good. It's.
So yummy. Keith Lee, if you're listening,
go check it out and I I'm sure they're doing just he.
Doesn't live here anymore, does he?
I don't know. I don't think he does.
We're based out of Vegas, yeah, if you don't know Keith Lee,
Keith Lee food reviewer, but very well known I'm.
Very excited for this weekend though.
I'm excited to talk about it next week, whatever it may be.
(44:40):
I have no idea what I'm excited to talk about.
Whatever it may be, I will leaveyou, Lord, to the dance, said
He. Dance, dance, wherever you may
be. What?
No. No, you.
Don't know where that's from. I have.
Literally no idea. I thought we were both raised
Catholic. That was like a Catholic banger.
Do you remember those Catholic bangers?
(45:02):
No, I think I trauma blocked a lot of.
It I haven't been to church in my entire adult life.
I have. Oh yeah, and take one final
look. I mean, do you like it?
Do you? Like it?
Our audible listeners, we're looking right into the camera,
OK? We're looking right at you.
I'm looking good. We love you.
I'm looking like you owe me somechild support.
(45:22):
OK? You understand me, Jeff.
Hey, Jeff. Woody.
All right, we love you. Oh, you.
Have a nose ring? I do.
I would look good with a nose ring.
We love you guys so much. Thank you so much for listening.
We hope you enjoyed the podcast.Make sure to follow us on all of
our socials all across the greatwide web.
(45:43):
We're having a blast. Yeah, we'll see you next.
Week. See you next week.
Thanks for listening. Follow us.
We're pretty funny.
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