Episode 26: Friendships in Every Season (from Middle School to Motherhood) & How Friendships Evolve

Episode Description:

Female friendships can be magical, messy, and deeply meaningful. But they also evolve—and sometimes dissolve. In this episode, we’re digging into the unique dynamics of women’s friendships: what makes them thrive, what causes them to fade, and how we’ve seen our own relationships change over the years.

We talk about:

• The friendship qualities we’re most drawn to in this season of life
• Why one-on-one connections can feel deeper than group dynamics
• How our friendships have shifted from middle school to motherhood
• The difference between social friends and close friends—and why we need both
• Handling moments when you feel left out
• What loyalty really looks like (and what it’s not)
• How to be intentional about cultivating stronger, healthier friendships now

We also share personal reflections on how motherhood, marriage, and career have reshaped our circles—and why we’ve learned to value depth and ease over quantity.

💗 Pink Spotlight
Each week, we highlight a moment, product, or practice that’s bringing us joy:

Christina’s Pink Spotlight
Getting back into reading again (don’t get too excited—she’s only made it through two books this summer), but swapping 15–20 minutes of scrolling for a few chapters before bed has been a game-changer for relaxing at night.

Kristina’s Pink Spotlight
A look-for-less Gucci sandal from Amazon with the perfect kitten heel—because can we all collectively agree to never wear stilettos again?

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Fighting for Our Friendships by Danielle Bayard Jackson
• Danielle’s “Infinities” framework: Symmetry – Support – Secrecy

Question for You:
What season of friendship are you in right now—and who are the people who make you feel most like yourself?

Join the Conversation

📌 Follow us on Instagram: @prettyinpinkagain @christinatarabishy @kristinabontempo
📌 Share this episode with a friend
🎧 Subscribe and leave a review—it helps more women find this show!

Don't forget:  Leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts, DM us your address, and we’ll send you a light pink beaded bracelet with a gold pink flamingo charm—just to say thanks for being here. 💕

Hey PIPAS! Send us a text for episode feedback, ideas, and questions!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I'm Christina.
And I'm T, and this is thePretty and Pink Again podcast
where motherhood meetsrediscovery.
Today on the Pretty and PinkAgain podcast, we are talking

(00:20):
all things female friendship.
Specifically what does anddoesn't feel good.
The red flags to the gut checksand the moments when you wonder,
is it just me or is thisfriendship not serving me
anymore?
And then what's next?
From the differences betweenone-on-one dynamics and the
group vibes.
This episode is all aboutturning into what your body and

(00:40):
what your brain, or trying totell you when something feels
off.
Because knowing what you wannawalk away from is just as
important as knowing what youwanna walk towards.
Let's go.
Hello.
Hello.
Hey, how are you?
I'm good.
I'm good.
How are you?
Good.
I am so excited about thisepisode because I feel like
we've had this one brewing Yeah.
For a little while.

(01:00):
And we keep saying that we're inlike the season of just me and
you here and I feel like thishas just been, this is such a
good one for a me and youconversation.
It is.
There's a lot of me and you.
Yeah.
Which is really nice.
I know there has been so muchand this We'll get into some of
that.
Yes, for sure.
But I like our dyad.
I know.

(01:21):
Me too.
This has been great.
It's good.
I know we had a long time wherewe just got to catch up and
really talk about the thingsthat we wanted to talk about.
But this was also very requestedfrom the Pippa's is to dive a
little bit more into femalefriendships.
And I feel like we can go somany places with that.
Sure.
But I loved what you wanted totalk about.

(01:42):
Yeah.
I recently read the book byDanielle Bayer Jackson, I read
the audio version and I feellike I should have bought the
hard copy'cause I would've keptit almost like an encyclopedia
with Post-it notes.
But she touches upon all thesedifferent types of female
friendships and what serves you?
What serves you at differenttimes in your life.

(02:03):
And she interviews all thesedifferent women.
And what's so interesting iswomen statistically do better in
what's called a dyad, whichmeans two people.
But yet women always findthemselves in group settings.
Interesting.
And in these different groupsthat you form throughout your

(02:23):
life dynamics change.
And in those groups, that's whenyou start to feel these bad
feelings, like loneliness,intimidation, am I less than,
we're not equals, are they havea better profession.
All this comparison then ensues.
So I was very inspired by, thebook.

(02:44):
When I was researching for thispodcast over like all of the
female friendships that I've hadin my life, I know from like
elementary school to middleschool to high school, to
college, to then insert, I metNick and he became my best
friend.
And then.
My mom friends, which carries meto present day.
I know, I feel like when yousent me,'cause we like to do
little guides just so that wecan have, a little information

(03:06):
on what we're gonna chat aboutand sometimes we see those in
advance of the episode thatwe're filming.
And when t sent this over to me,I was like, so you journaled I
was like, you did an exercisehere.
This was a therapy exercise.
I think I did.
I think I did a therapyexercise.
I love it.
And I'm excited to get into thisand I'm not, I'm typically not
long-winded.
No, you're not.
I usually like straight into thepoint.

(03:27):
I don't need a long time to letthings marinate.
Usually I I feel it.
I think it, I say it.
And then this side was like, oh,wait a second.
Let me go back a little bit.
Because a lot of themes occurYeah.
Over time.
For sure.
And I think that friendships,especially as we can say it two
ways, right?
We could say it either throughmotherhood, which is a huge

(03:49):
transition.
A huge life transition.
And you can also just say, as weget older, right?
Things change and there's a lotof layers there of things that
we can unpack for femalefriendships.
And so I'm gonna let you takethe lead on this one because
what you had written down wasjust very intriguing.

(04:10):
So when I look at my friends,and I'm gonna ask you, when you
look at your friends, what aresome common threads do you
think, A, you have commonalitiesbetween all of your friends, or
do you think that all of yourfriends are completely different
and share differentcharacteristics?
I think a little of both, and Ithink it depends on where the
friendship originated from.

(04:31):
So I think, okay.
Good answer.
I have a lot of friendships,which I've mentioned here
before, that.
Were due to something.
So I have friendships growingup.
Obviously the girls that I grewup with from my hometown, I had
mentioned that we either dancedor did theater or all of the
above together.
So there was like that sort ofcommonality and so a shared
experience together.

(04:51):
A shared experience later on.
But then we don't do thatanymore.
And then my college group ofgirlfriends, we all danced
together.
That's a group.
Okay.
And then I, so again, anothershared experience.
And then I had girls that Ilived with.
And so again, another sharedexperience.
And those were all of like mybridesmaids, those were girls
that I've known for The betterpart of it's probably 20 years

(05:13):
at this point.
So I've had all of thosefriendships for 20 plus years,
which is crazy to say that.
Because of the, thosefriendships started so early in
life.
I don't know if I could say Iwas looking for specific
qualities in people.
Because a lot of thosefriendships just came about from
those shared experiences andthen lasted through the test of

(05:34):
time, through they've justlasted through seasons of time.
But now I think that I havecertain qualities that I
definitely look for infriendships, in a friendship.
So you had said in your notesthat you thought that this
season of motherhood was like alonely time For sure.
For friendships for you.
Do you think that it's becauseit was harder for you to make

(05:57):
friends in this season?
I think.
Part of that was because I hadkids a little bit later in life.
So a lot of my So who you weresurrounded by weren't like your
people?
Because I wasn't in that sharedexperience for a long time.
If I look at things, I was oneof the last over most groups of
people that I know.
Mm-hmm.
I was one of the last people toenter motherhood.

(06:18):
Yes.
So I did feel probably from thetime I was about 30 to 35, that
as people started entering thatchapter, I was feeling a little
bit disconnected and left behindby some of those friendships.
Because I wasn't experiencingthe same thing that those people
were experiencing.
And then even new people that Ihad met in my thirties.

(06:38):
If they were moms when I metthem and I was not yet it, there
was just a little bit of adisconnect.
It didn't mean that there wasn'ta friendship that could be had.
Me and you were at completelydifferent life stages, but we
just weren't able to bond onthat level quite yet.
Right.
We had other things that webonded over.
I guess the point that I'm likefishing for here is that I think

(07:00):
there's two ways to make afriendship.
Stick and be tacky and it'sthese shared experiences being
one big pillar For sure.
And I'll, I'll share with you mysequence of my, are my
friendships, but some of myfriendships that I sort of
opposite of you.
And I think it's just because ofthe timeline in my age of when I

(07:21):
had kids are actually myfriendships that have formed
during motherhood because it wassuch a vulnerable time in my
life and I was surrounded by.
Women who were in it with me,and it really bonded us
together.
We shared a lot of timetogether.
We exchanged like our deepest,darkest secrets like that bonded
us together.
And like this shared experience,I think really made us stick for

(07:44):
sure., That's one thing that Inoticed that really stuck out
when I was dissecting all of thefemale friendships or things
that make things stick or theseshared experiences and.
Now what I'm seeing is that asmy kids are getting a little
older and they still have littlekids, but I'm not doing as many
things with my friends anymorebecause my kids are older.

(08:05):
I'm doing more things with mykids.
And like they have their ownlives now.
So it's harder and blendTotally.
And the lives together.
Me and Nick are trying to throwour time into the six of us
being this nuclear family.
So how I'm continuing tocultivate my friendships are
these catch ups, whether it'slike a phone call or a coffee or

(08:27):
things like that.
So we are not sharing the sameexperiences, but I'm still
trying to make an effort tocatch up and find out about each
other's.
Keep in touch, experience.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yes.
But it's, I think that it shift,it becomes hard.
It's hard to shift throughdifferent phases and time when
you enter motherhood.

(08:48):
It's things.
I think feels two differentways.
It feels like time stands stilland then it also feels like time
flies and you can't even catchup with what season you're in.
And so I feel like even in theshort time that I've become a
mom, while you've been a momalready I think that I've seen
the shift of you, like just ofyour kids going from being very

(09:10):
little and you're very connectedto everything going on with your
kids, to now your kids aregrowing and really starting to
form their own lives, their ownfriendships.
Yes.
And now you're trying to keep upwith them, right?
I have these like four friendsthat I became tight with when
Joseph was born.
And we don't really do things asmuch anymore because all, we

(09:31):
live in different towns.
All of us live in differenttowns.
Our, we all met at like musicclass.
Our kids all have popped off.
And summer boys, some are girls,so they're not all friends
together, but we all still, loveand adore each other.
And we were all catching up theother day what is everybody
doing?
We never see each other.
Who are you even hanging outwith?

(09:51):
Who are you with?
Who are you with?
And we all said collectively wespend the most time with our
husbands and our children.
Because our kids are gettingolder, they wanna be social,
they wanna have plans.
And we are, we're trying to keepthem.
Yeah.
To keep them in and hold themback.
And hold them close.
But if we didn't have thatconversation, one.

(10:12):
Make an assumption like, oh,this friend has pulled back from
me.
This friend doesn't wanna bearound me.
This friend is too busy for me.
This friend is too.
Insert whatever.
It's a good point, you know,thought you want to have, but
when I think of it like that myfeelings aren't as hurt and I
don't feel as sensitive when Ihave other friends in my life
pull away a little bit for sure.

(10:32):
Because I know that they'rereplacing me with something
else.
And I think that I'm probablynot one of those friends that
you're talking about, like fromyour point of view.
But I'm probably one of thosefriends that other people could
say that about where it's oh,she has pulled back a little
bit.
You feel like you're pullingaway a little bit.
Okay.
'cause I have entered thischapter of my kids are very

(10:54):
small and i'm not in the exactseason where you're saying that
you're just following your kidsaround.
We're the ones still in thedriver's seat with the kids, as
far as toting them around anddoing things together.
But we are very much in a familyera, and I think that it would
be easy for people to look at mefrom the outside and say, look,
where has she been?

(11:14):
I really haven't, it's not thatI've put myself out with other
people.
It's not like you could say, oh,she's just been with this group
of people more.
We really have just been withour family and we've been trying
to connect and, build thatfoundation and weeks pass.
And I feel like sometimes wedon't socialize and see many
people.

(11:34):
And so it's just interestinghearing it from the other side
where you're saying that, yeahit's, I guess it's easy to
always look and assume somethingnegative and it's usually not
right.
It's usually not, but.
There also is some truth to it Ithink because I think I've been
in situations where somebody hasmaybe made, rubbed me the wrong

(11:55):
way and it's when people rub methe wrong way, I really think
it's more about me than it isabout them.
Honestly.
I think with a lot of reflectionwhen somebody does something to
me that I don't like, it's moreme.
Like I might see my, something Idon't like in myself, in them,
or I, like I don't think it'salways the other person.
It's not.
But I think that's okay.

(12:16):
I think that it's okay to youalways use the word antennas or
like red flags.
Yeah.
It's easy.
I think it's a good thing tosometimes have that wherewithal
about yourself, right?
Yeah.
To just be like, something seemsoff but what I would do in that
situation is probably pull backa little.
Right.
So here be a mix of things.
So here we are in a season whereyou're pulling back to be close

(12:37):
to your family, which is a goodthing.
And then at the same time,you're pulling back when people
piss you off.
Yeah.
And insert friend B who doesn'treally know where you're at.
It's true.
No wonder.
Sometimes female friendships canbe very tricky.
They're very complicated.
And we did have some kind ofrequest to dissect, I guess even

(12:59):
that the pulling back offriendships.
Yep.
And how.
That's okay.
We always say that there's aseason for certain things.
Yep.
I think and my a season and areason.
A season and a reason.
And I also think that two of thethings that have really stuck
out to me that are like mantrasfor my entire life right now are

(13:23):
quality over quantity.
I keep saying that theme inevery sense.
I know it's like in wardrobe, inskincare, in friendships, in
just in everything.
I feel like that's like my mottoright now, which was so
different from what I used tobe.
I was more of like a more ismore.
More is more as more.
I was totally a more is moreperson and now I'm a very less
is more person.

(13:45):
And then the other thing that Irecite to myself all the time,
which I know I've said on thispodcast is everything doesn't
have to be a thing all of thetime.
Like sometimes there's justseasons for things like we keep
saying and things don't need toend in some like big dramatic
way or they might not even needto end at all.

(14:05):
It's just that things phase inand out and.
I know even with certainfriendships, what I hope that I
have with my friendships is thatwe allow each other to do that,
and that it doesn't necessarilymean, oh, is she mad at me?
Did something happen?
It's just no.
We're in a season where I can'tgive as much of myself to this

(14:27):
as I used to for the past 20years.
And you do what you can, buteverybody's so stretched so thin
right now, it's so hard to dothat.
And I think just being okay withthat.
So like it's something that Irecite to myself, like it
doesn't have to be a thing.
I feel somebody's pulling backfrom me a little bit, unless I

(14:47):
know that I did something wrongor I'm worried that something
may have been misconstrued acertain way or something.
I'm just allowing people to dothat without making it a thing
for myself.
And I hope that the friendshipsthat I still have from these 20
years that I keep referencingalso allow the same of me, where

(15:07):
it's okay if there's like pushand pull, there's phasing in and
out.
And I remember my mom had saidwhen she had a group of friends
growing up from childhood, andwhen they all got married and
had kids, they all scattered,right?
Because everybody is living indifferent places.
Everybody became a mother atdifferent times of their life
and really as their kids.

(15:30):
Grew up.
Mm-hmm.
They reconnected.
They always stayed in touch, butthey were able to reconnect and
get themselves back to thatplace.
But it's because they never hada falling out.
It was just that they left,there was nothing to sex was
allowance.
There was allowance that peoplecan go out and live their lives
and come back.
And I think that's reallyimportant in friendships at this

(15:50):
stage is like allowing people togo out, have their own lives,
whether that's with family,whether that's with other
friendships that of the seasonof life that they're in now.
And know that you're secureenough in your friendship where
that if time permits that youcan come back to each other in
that same way that you'll pickup like nothing happened.

(16:10):
Right.
And I think that's where reallystrong friendships.
I agree.
And having that foundation isreally important.
I agree.
I think.
I've already had this seasonwith my childhood friends and
I'll like even throw myselfunder the bus.
And so when I was in elementaryschool, I met my friends that
I'm friends with now currently.

(16:31):
When I was in middle school, Iwanted to be something that I
wasn't, I don't even know whatthat was.
I wanted to be cool.
I wanted to be like on thevarsity soccer team.
I wanted to be friends withpeople who did not wanna be
friends with me.
And the girls that were alwaysnice to me that were never nasty
to me or who I'm friends withnow.
And I feel like they allowed meto like try new things, like

(16:53):
when I went to a different highschool and they made new friends
in high school, but they alwaysallowed me back in.
It's not like they shut the doorto me.
And then same thing withcollege.
We went off to college.
Everybody, all of us made newfriends in college.
We all visited each other incollege, but it wasn't like the
same because we all had our ownlittle college friend crew.
But when we came back home, itwas us again.

(17:14):
And then I became a mom first.
And so I made all these new momfriends or these friends from
town.
Yeah.
Different life.
And now that I feel like I, myseasons are more stable, who I
tend to gravitate back to arethat these friends that I have
always allowed me to grow.
They are.
And I may not, that's perfectWord share.

(17:35):
I may not share face to facetime with them as often because
they don't live in my town.
We don't have children the exactsame age.
Our lives are not woven intoeach other.
But I think that is thehealthiest type of friend I do
too.
One from a little bit of afarwhere you could catch up with,
reminisce with, laugh with.
Mm-hmm.

(17:55):
And share new current ex,experiences with, For sure.
I completely agree with that.
The girls, especially mychildhood friends, I feel the
exact same way.
We've allowed each other thatspace to go and have our own
lives, but then when wereconnect the few times a year
we are very diligent aboutmaking sure we do get the
quality time.
Together.

(18:16):
It's no time has passed and Ifeel like it will be that way
forever because we've alwaysbeen like that.
We've always allowed each otherto go out, have other friend
groups, and then come back.
It's that secure.
That like attachment, right?
It's okay.
You know that they're home foryou.
And you'll come back and I thinkthat what's happening to me is I

(18:38):
am, I think that as I am in thisseason, I'm realizing that if
I'm not getting that space andthat allowance, to me it's a
very big red flag.
So let's then talk about some ofthe red flag relationships.
Groups are tricky because whenyou leave someplace feeling

(18:58):
worse about yourself, I thinkthat is my biggest sign of a red
flag.
And that doesn't alwaysnecessarily mean that it's the
other people in the group.
It might just be more.
A me thing, like I'm not goodfor that group.
If you don't feel seen or heardor that you're not good enough.
Also, it's normal as women whenwe get together in groups,

(19:20):
there's gossip and sometimesgossip can leave you not feeling
a group.
Great.
And that can be another sign ifyou notice that.
The group thrives on exclusionor competition and who's invited
and who's not, and who's who,and who's what, and who wore it
better.
That could be a sign Lastly, andmost importantly for me is this

(19:42):
group performative?
Is it just about the look likethe social media, the status the
Instagram post is that what'smore important than the actual
connection of the people withinthe group?
So for me, those are some oflike my personal red flags for a
group.
Oh, groups are tough because Ithink, like you had said at the

(20:03):
beginning, I think that groupscan't, I have a few different
groups and some of them aredifferent sizes.
I think the size of the groupalso matters for sure.
Groups can be very trickybecause I think that like
dynamic wise.
You need a balance of, I thinkthat's why sometimes groups can
get a little awkward, right?

(20:24):
It's like you need a balance ofpersonalities for a group to
work.
We have an intruder.
What's up?
We usually have one of thegirls, but this time it was one
of the boys, there's also justmany more personalities to like
work in between.
And I don't know, correct me ifI'm wrong, but I feel like the
smaller and the more intimatethe group is, usually I feel

(20:47):
like that's, it's less likelythat things break off and
there's like separate groupswithin the group.
You know what I mean?
So I think when there's a biggergroup, then sometimes little
groups form off of the biggergroup.
I feel like my temperature checkfor.
If a group is just a group funthing, or if a group is like

(21:08):
five or six girls that Iactually really care deeply for.
Mm-hmm.
As if I have sidebarconversations with each girl.
One-on-one when we're not doingthe big group thing.
And if I don't, then I know thatthis is like a social group
thing, and if I'm not invited tothat social group thing then I'm
okay with it.

(21:29):
And that's how I measure thegroup thing versus the
one-on-one thing.
I love that.
So I actually think that weshould dissect when you're not
invited to something.
Because I think that this issomething that every person
listening to this, and probablyevery person that we ever have
met in our lives has felt thatsting before.

(21:49):
Yes, of course.
I want to try to start thinkingthis way because I think the way
that I was taught when I wasyounger, and I know we talked on
this about our girl on girlthing.
Was just my mom trying toconsole me.
Like you didn't get invited tothe sleepover because they were
only allowed to have 10 peoplethere.
That was healthy or May, andthen maybe they would see me be

(22:11):
hurt again, and they were like,oh, F those girls, those aren't
even your friends, and then e,every time it gets a little bit
meaner and meaner, so somethingthat I'm trying to do now when I
don't get invited to something,I try to think like, why?
Why am I bothered by this?
Am I bothered because I'm veryclose to the host and she has

(22:33):
left me out maybe on purpose oraccidentally, or am I close to
the.
Invitees, and that's why I feelleft out because my friends are
going to something and I'm notincluded in that.
Do you feel like it's a littleeasier to swallow one or the
other if you're not invited Ithink it sucks no matter what I

(22:53):
think you cannot sit here andtell me that it doesn't sting.
Of course, it stings to be leftout.
It always stings to be left out.
It always st stinks to be leftout.
But I think the way I think ofbeing left out of something is
if my friends are invited tosomething and maybe I'm not
close to the person who invitedthem.
I think that's an easier pill toswallow because I can look at

(23:17):
that and say I'm not friendlywith the host enough, so that
would make sense that I'm notinvited to that.
Sure.
No, I agree.
But I think that if you arefriends with the host or if you
think you're friends with thehost and then you're not invited
to something.
That stings more to me.
Like I think that's where I'mlike, how did I get left out of
that?
I also think that's a veryreasonable, completely valid

(23:40):
thing to feel.
Sure.
I think that saying, oh, don'tlet that bother you, or, I, I
think that yes, there's certainsituations, like you're saying
at the beginning of this segmentwhere, yes, if there's a size of
something, you're say, oh, Icould only invite so many
people.
There's only so many spotsavailable for something.
Again, that's something easierto swallow than if it's just a

(24:01):
party and it's, the invites areendless and somehow you weren't
on the guest list.
Like that's a painful thing.
I think that if it's a pattern,it's an also an okay thing to
flag that and then revisit thatand say, why?
Why is this a pattern?
What is going on?
I don't think it's a necessarilylike a bad thing to just.

(24:25):
Have your antennas on that wayand be like, what is going on
here?
I need to get to the bottom ofthis because, or it, I don't
think that anybody should be inthat shitty feeling, or do you
feel like you don't always haveto get to the bottom of it?
I don't know if invites or aslinear as that, maybe you lower
your expectations then Yes.
Where you have to, maybe youdon't have to get to the bottom

(24:46):
of it.
Like you don't have to make it athing with that person, but I
need to know where I stand withsomebody.
So if I'm constantly gettingleft out by the same person or
the same people, then I'm gonnatake that as okay, so I know
where I stand with you.
That's okay.
If it's not worth making athing, if it's, obviously, if
it's somebody that you wereclose with and you're hurt by

(25:08):
it, I think you do make it athing.
It's just so that you can placethat person and so maybe you can
lower your expectations movingforward.
Like we're not that close orthey clearly have a problem with
me, so I'm gonna step backthat's okay too.
And that's okay too.
So I guess something that you, Idon't think I wanna do in a
situation like that is bring itup to other people.

(25:31):
I didn't get invited, I wasn'tincluded.
Mm-hmm.
I don't wanna be like Complainyor Graspy or draw attention to
that because I feel like that.
Why not?
'cause I just feel like thatsort of sounds annoying.
I think that if my firstinstinct is to bring it up with
a friend that was invited to theparty and not the host, I think

(25:52):
that I probably shouldn't havebeen invited to the party to
begin with.
That's, yes I do agree withthat, and I think that's a good
gut check.
And then I think the best thingto do next is absolutely
nothing.
Don't bring it up to anybody andjust be cordial and just know
your place going forward.
But what if you're really, whatif the person is a good friend
of yours that didn't invite?
Then I think the healthy thingto do is to let the host know

(26:15):
one-on-one, if you're closeenough with the host then you
should be close enough to know,or to be able to say to them
like, what happened?
Hey, you're having this thinglike.
I love you.
I would've loved to have beenthere.
What?
Why?
And if you're close enough tothem, they'll tell you why.
And if you did, so if I didsomething shitty, hopefully they
would tell me.
Or if it's oh, I'm sorry, orthis is a, this group or
whatever, you can get the truth.

(26:37):
But I think making it a thing iswhen you are then give the
silent treatment, pull away arenasty, all the things.
I think like a very healthy.
Viewpoint on that is we couldlook at me and you, right?
And like you have, you were myfirst friend that I met moving
into the town that we currentlylive in.
So you introduced me to a lot ofpeople, but I don't necessarily

(27:01):
look at you and think that Ihave to be doing every single
thing that you're doing.
Yeah.
Because you're not a psychopath.
Because, but I do think that,and people that are like that,
yeah.
I, but I think that's a realthing.
Need get some space.
I think that's a real thing.
Yeah.
I don't do well with that.
I know you don't do well withthat.
I don don't do well with thateither.
Oh my God.
I put up my, I know.
And I push away.

(27:21):
I know, I don't like to besuffocated, but I think that's
something that, yeah, I agree.
I think that's something that, Idon't think that quality is
something that you mature outof.
I think that quality is usuallysomething that you have or you
don't have.
It's that ability to like notlatch or to latch onto people.
I.

(27:42):
Feel again, that's like a trickysubject, that to me is just not
something that I do well with.
Yeah.
I ha I feel like I at least knowmy place.
So if you are going to dosomething with other friends
that I know, I don't expect aninvitation to that.
I would never look at that andsay, how could you go and do
something with so and so withoutme?

(28:04):
I, that would be weird.
It would, but I feel like that'sa real thing.
But that occur.
That's a conflict that occurshere.
That's a conflict.
That happens.
That occurs a lot, I feel like,because, and that's to the point
of you what you were sayingbefore, which is somebody might
bring something up to you, Hey,why wasn't I invited to this?
Some of it might be valid.
And then some of it might bevery invalid.
Some of it might be justlatching on and looking for

(28:27):
drama.
Yeah.
We're all guilty of it.
Yeah.
I think at one point in ourlives drama doesn't always need
to be like such a negative word.
Like women are always mixed upwith the words drama and
feelings and this and that, butit's just rooted in our
relationships.
Like we deeply care for ourfriends.
We have these lives that arelike full of things and
experiences and we connect oversharing our experiences.

(28:49):
Mm-hmm.
And if you wanna call thatdrama, we'll then call it drama.
No, but it's not always bad.
No.
Think that it's just likepassion I think that, again, I,
some of the growth that I havedone since becoming a mom is
become a way more sensitiveperson.
It's confusing because I'vebecome more sensitive, but then
I've also, my bullshit toleranceis so low.

(29:11):
Low.
Yeah.
My is so low.
Do you think you're it's a weirdmix always.
Do you think you were alwayssensitive though?
I think I was always sensitiveabout certain things, but I
think that I could let a lotroll off me a lot faster.
Like a lot faster than I do now.
I'm, I'm sensitive now, but thenI'm also insensitive now.

(29:31):
It's a weird, it's a very weirdcombination and I can only blame
motherhood for that because I dothink motherhood is just a very
complicated.
Transition period of your lifewhere you've gone through so
much.
We keep saying that the closestthing to it is adolescence is
going back to adolescence.
So I know we talked a lot aboutlike older friendships or maybe

(29:54):
friendships that we've hadthroughout other seasons of our
life.
But another topic that peopleask about a lot from us is
building new friendships.
We did talk about the ways youcan go about building new
friendships.
Mm-hmm.
You've done such a phenomenaljob of that.
I've just tagged along and met alot of your friends.
But I guess in the next seasonas you are meeting new people.

(30:17):
How do you feel about that?
Or do you look for certainthings?
So I think as we enter ourforties, we have our kids, we
have our husbands, time islimited, we have our work.
And cultivating and maintainingthose friendships can be hard So
I think there's two pillarshere.

(30:37):
The maintenance, like how do Imaintain?
And I shared earlier, sometimesI maintain now by phone calls on
my walks, check-ins orcheck-ins.
Because I can't physically seemy friends.
So I do the check-ins.
But I think that doing thingsthat are bigger than you are how
I like to make friends.
And I think like for you, youtalk about your college days.

(31:00):
'cause you were on this danceteam and you have these really
special friends.
'cause you had these sharedthings and I think.
At any age, you can become partof some type of group that's
bigger than you.
Whether that's throughphilanthropy, right?
And doing fundraising.
That's something that's biggerthan you.
Whether that's the tennis teamthat I plan, that's something
that's bigger than me.
That's like a shared experience.

(31:21):
Whether that's like a workoutclass that I like to go to, it's
like taking the fundamentalsback and you're saying, what,
how did you meet people inearlier in life?
And you're trying to emulatethat in some way Because I do
think that friendships form insome of the best ways Yes.
By doing that, that you saidthat.
Perfectly.

(31:42):
So even, don't you feel likethis podcast has brought us So
close.
So much closer.
Yeah.
We are such special friends.
This is something special thatwe have together.
When you, When you do something,I loved that phrase of beyond
you, yes.
I think that it pulls you backand it really can create such an
amazing friendship.
So I think that goes back to oneof our, I think it was our first

(32:03):
episode, which was Finding yourflock.
And that was one of your tips.
And I think that's such a hugetakeaway is don't look past the
simplicity of that.
Find something that you like todo volunteer somewhere.
I do think that's like such aneasy way, but are there like
certain things that you look forin friendships?
So I don't know if I look forthis, but if I look at my

(32:26):
friends what I am drawn to, andthis is purely accidental
because I don't.
I was like thinking about who myclose friends are, like who I
talk to, who, like honestly, ifI open up my phone right now
mm-hmm.
and I look at my call log, whois on my call log.
My friends are Type A.
Very hardworking.
Incredibly driven.

(32:47):
Usually married with four kids.
Like multiple kids.
Yeah.
Lots of kids.
Lot hands in, like lots ofdifferent pots.
At their core, good humans.
And that is what I am currently,attracted to.
Yeah, I like that too.
And I also think that whenpeople possess qualities like
that, they don't put so muchlight on me.

(33:09):
Because they have so many otherthings that they are into you've
said that, but that you don'tlike to be the center and you
don't like to be the only thingconnecting.
Like you need a little bit ofbreathing room in your
friendships.
And so you don't like thelatching and you don't like the,
you don't like to be the centerof that friend.
I don't know what to do with it.

(33:30):
It's too much.
I don't know how, I don't knowhow to play that role.
And.
And I know I've latched incertain friendships because I
needed help.
I needed guidance.
When Joseph was enteringelementary school, I remember
latching and being like, I don'tknow what to do.
And I'm sure that was probablyvery annoying for that friend
that had to play that role.
I think we all latchaccidentally, right?

(33:51):
Intentionally, I'm not sure.
But being latched like, time isjust not my vibe, right?
'cause I don't know how to playthat role.
That's, I think that, that'svery interesting.
I am, what about you?
I'm very tell similar.
I think if you had asked me fiveyears ago what I was looking
for, or what types of qualitiesI was drawn to I'm sure that
they would be semi similar, butprobably different in a lot of

(34:14):
ways, I think.
A little softer.
I think right now what I valuemost is ease and loyalty and
warmth.
And I don't.
Ever want to feel like I'm beingspoken about badly behind closed
doors?
I don't like that feeling.
I have absolutely no tolerancefor it right now.

(34:37):
So if I'm getting that vibe, I'mpulling back immediately.
I've been like really needinglike friends with a sense of
humor.
A little bit of like sensehumor, lightheartedness.
You have humor, you havelightheartedness.
Thank you.
That's why I love you so much.
I feel like we're alwayslaughing.
I really am drawn to people thatare very kind without being
competitive.
That is like my, I think star,asterisk, like kind without

(35:01):
being competitive and also whoshow up when it matters.
And I don't only mean that in aone-sided thing, but I mean that
in a good thing too.
Like I think that.
Where things have really shownfor me over the last probably 15
ish years since I've haddifferent businesses that are

(35:22):
very public facing, the peoplewho support you when you're
putting yourself out there andnot the ghosts.
The people who don't supportfrom afar.
I think that I will cheersomebody on very publicly and I
want the same back for me.

(35:42):
Do you think that people areafraid to do that out in the
public?
Like you're used to being out inthe public, right?
Yeah.
Not everybody is right.
I'm just playing devil'sadvocate do you think that, but
I don't think that it needs tobe a public thing, so maybe I
should correct myself.
Okay.
It doesn't need to be a publicthing, but just cheer you on
Hey, you're doing this publicly,and I don't, and I just mean

(36:03):
that's a blanket statement ofjust.
Supporting support.
Okay.
And just being, and I say thephrase like, be a cheerleader
for your friends, because that'swhat I think that you need at
this point in life, right?
Yeah.
Is life is really hard andthere's just so much that goes
into it.
It's so complicated.
And I think that when you have afriends around you that just,

(36:25):
you know that you can beyourself around and that they're
just like proud to be friendswith you, but not in a way that
serves them.
So you're looking for thatreciprocity.
Yes.
You're not necessary two waystreets, two way street.
Sometimes when I think of likereciprocity, I think of it in
this negative way like I do foryou and you do for me.
And that reminds me of when Igot married and like the Italian

(36:47):
list where you had to keep trackof who gave how much money to
you and who came.
And we don't give a penny more.
I don't think of it that way.
It's just collectively as agroup of friends.
You give, I give happily withease.
Yeah.
And I, and support.
I think that the, yes, I thinkthe word is just being
supportive.
And that could be public facing.

(37:07):
That could just be not publicfacing, but just that you know
that someone has your back andwill cheer you on, but will also
hear you complain and hear yourpositive stories.
We talked about that too.
It's so important that you havefriendships that will listen to
you complain, but will alsolisten to your wins.

(37:28):
I think that is like the mostimportant thing, not just when
the chips are down.
Yes.
I think it's so easy to bondover bad things.
And negative.
And negativity and things likethat.
But, and it's harder to bondover positivity and cheering
people on because competitiongets in the way feeling less
than gets in the way.

(37:49):
There's just so many emotionsthat can get in a way.
So when you just have afriendship that's not rooted in
any of that bullshit it'simperative right now.
In this chapter of life.
So there's these three, pillarsthat I was talking about before,
from the book.
From the book.
And she calls them these threeaffinities, and the first one is

(38:11):
symmetry.
And so when she talks aboutsymmetry, it's like when I meet
you oh my God.
Same.
Oh my God.
Same.
We have all these things incommon.
This is so great.
This is bonding us together.
So what that sort of does is iteliminates competition, right?
So then what happens when oneperson is playing more of a
superior role, that ensues.

(38:31):
Maybe there's not that samenessanymore, and that could be
really tricky.
And then that can be tricky fora friendship.
The next one that she talksabout is support.
When you're getting support froma friend, if you are in a really
hard time in your life, like forme, when I had my twins and
people aren't checking on youbecause you're not asking for
help, that could cause afallout.

(38:51):
When I had my twins, I was veryvocal that I needed help and my
friends came, and that broughtme close to them.
But I think I could have veryeasily been like no, no, no, no.
I'm good.
I'm good.
Everybody leave me alone.
And then drove a wedge there,but instead I allowed myself
support.
And that was like something thatshe talks about is support.
And then the last one that shetalks about is secrecy.

(39:14):
And when you share things withsomebody, you make that person
feel special.
For sure.
Like I am telling just you this,you are holding onto special
information and that bonds youto them.
I think that's what we've talkedabout so many times.
And it's interesting to hear itas the word secrecy.
'cause it's not what I wouldlike.
These words sound so ation, theydo symmetry support secrecy.

(39:35):
Yes.
But when you like open them up,yeah, you break them down and
they're, but we've talked aboutthat actually.
Opening up and letting peoplein.
Yes.
To your thoughts and feelings.
Yes.
And what power that has.
It's an immediate talk aboutthat.
It is, and it's something thatit can connect you and it can
really change your life becauseI think it also allows other

(39:56):
people to know how you'refeeling, number one, which is
obvious, but it also allowspeople to hold you accountable
for things.
So if you do wanna make achange, if you need something in
some way, if you need supportfrom people, if you're open and
you let them into these innersecrets, if you wanna call them,
that it, I think it just createsa bond.

(40:19):
I agree.
So what do you do then, ifyou're not somebody who is
really good at hooking people?
I think that motherhood haschanged me so much where I
wasn't a very vocal person.
If you even think about thethings that I'm sitting in this
chair talking about, I wouldn'thave done that unless I entered
this chapter and went throughthe things that I went through.

(40:39):
How did you become somebody whothen now does speak up?
Because what it did was maybe itwas a means to an end for you
when you became a mom, but whatit also has done now is.
Connected you with other womenand other people, and you're
growing these bo, you'recreating these bonds over you
speaking up.
I think that so much of it isother things that we've talked

(41:00):
about before, which is sometimesthere's a pivotal moment, right?
That happens in your life whereyou're like, Ugh, like one thing
will rock you.
And it's just I need to changefrom this.
And sometimes it's a gradualshift over time.
I think for me it seems like itwas a.
Pivotal moment, but it wasreally a very gradual shift over

(41:21):
time, and it just came to a headwhere I cannot live in this
sheltered, not sharing type ofspace anymore.
I needed to open up to getmyself healthy and to the next
level.
Like I needed to let people in alittle bit more.
I needed that support.
So the walls had to come down.

(41:41):
And so I think that's just, itwas like an evolution of that.
It wasn't something that justinstantly happened.
I'm sure for some people andsome experiences, one thing will
happen that just rocks them andthen they shift from that point.
But I think either way, when youget to that point, so you let
your walls down Yeah.
And looked for support.

(42:02):
Yeah.
And then, and by doing so, italmost started giving, you
almost started supporting peoplemore for sure, because you let
the walls down, let people in.
And then by that you wereexchanging for sure.
And doing back for others.
For sure.
And I think that's created bondsand friendships that came out of
nowhere.
And that's why I think for along time I wore the age of the

(42:25):
friendship as so strong.
So I've said this, the 20 yearfriendships, it's like a badge
of honor.
I have these 20 yearfriendships.
We've gone through so manythings together.
And I'm not saying that thosearen't valuable anymore.
I'm saying that yes, I havethose, but I've also been able
to develop friendships that cameon quickly from shared

(42:47):
experiences because I'm in adifferent place in my life now,
where now I'm being very open,I'm being very vulnerable, and
friendships have come in and arejust as strong.
That's like a good thing.
And I think that's a verypositive message.
And if anybody's feeling acertain way, because female
friendships can be tricky.
And when you're in differentchapters of your life, it can be

(43:08):
tricky.
And you it can feel veryisolating.
And I don't think that you haveto sit there and worry that you
don't have length of time.
I haven't known this person forvery long.
If you're in a shared experienceand you're vulnerable and you're
open with people, you would beso amazed at how fast real bonds
can form.
I completely agree.

(43:29):
So we wanna talk a little bitabout sisters.
Yes.
Because this is where we differ,this is where we differ.
This is where we differ.
So I have two sisters.
Just sisters.
You're one of three.
I am one of three.
I just have sisters.
And I just have a brother, ayounger brother.
Sisters teach you a lot.
Yes.
And Sisters teach you how tofight.

(43:50):
Teach Sisters teach you how.
To have true, healthycompetition.
Because it's only healthy.
You're not competing over, atleast in my sister experience,
we never were competing overboyfriends or who was prettier
or who was this, or who had thebetter outfits.
None of that mattered.
My clothes didn't belong to me.
They belonged to the three of uswas the group.

(44:11):
Yeah, there was, everything wascommunal.
Everything was a, everything wascommunal.
Everything was a group.
We were the Anderson sisters,nobody was pitted against each
other.
That was my like upbringing withsisters.
And so when you go back to thislist, this symmetry, like same
for the most part, right?
Like same.
I was the oldest, Nicole was themiddle, Marissa was the
youngest.
So there was somedifferentiation.

(44:32):
There, but we were still all thesame.
We all had this, we all camefrom the same house.
We all had the same amount ofmoney given to us.
We all, everything was Yeah.
Same experiences.
Yeah.
Equal same experiences, support,everybody supported each other.
Everybody showed up for eachother's games like.
Everybody now watches eachother's kids, there's equal
support and secrecy.

(44:54):
Oh my God.
Yeah.
We all talk shit about eachother.
There's two against one, oneagainst two, but then everybody
makes up.
But that's interesting becauseI'm not from that world.
And I am curious to know ifother people would agree with
me, because I know other peoplewould agree with you.
I feel like you can tell.
I'm a hothead.
I feel like you can tell whenpeople are from like a sister
dynamic because I think thatthey're different with their

(45:17):
friends.
And I also think that people, ohmy god, I know.
I don't bad.
It's if you grow up with sistersand you're, you just said you
fight and then you make up.
And there's just, it's justkind.
Sometimes you don't even make upsometimes don.
It's just yelling.
It's say you can blow up andthen just go on about your day.
Yeah.
But when you don't grow up inthat world, to me.
That's very foreign.

(45:38):
That's, so I'm somebody who Idon't roll like that.
I can, but it's not in my naturebecause I didn't grow up with
that sort of same experience.
So when I have friends that havesisters, it's a very different I
think our probably, what's theword?
Like our conflict resolution isvery different.

(45:59):
Like I, I need the discussion, Ineed a little something extra.
I can't just have someone blowup at me or act complete a-hole
and then turn around and then belike what happened?
Everything's fine.
It's no, it's not fine for me.
And it's because I didn't growup with that.
I didn't, I grew up withprobably a much more, probably
formal conflict resolution thanI feel like sisters just let

(46:22):
things roll off.
They're just like, whatever.
And then you move on, right?
And it's just very different.
So I think that's very.
Interesting.
And also very funny'cause Ithink that's like a different
Yeah.
Experience for sure.
It is a much differentexperience much, and I'm not
saying that this is healthy theway that we communicate, blow
up, up, whatever.
No, but it's just different.
And you would probably look atsomebody like me saying I need

(46:45):
the conflict resolution.
We need to talk about thesethings.
And you'd probably be like,whatever, I'm past it.
It's over.
Like it's done.
But if you look at that and thenyou look at like groups of
friends, like some are gonnahandle things like you, some
need the extra alright, can wejust not really make this a
thing?
But can we just finish this off?
Finish it off.
That's what it is.
And then we also have somebodylike me that I'm like.

(47:08):
What are we even talking about?
And you're like, you just yelledat me like, I did.
Did I just do that?
And now that it's like beingbrought to my attention how I am
very confrontational and I thinkit, I say it, I scream it.
I'm like because this hashappened to you and shit.
Yes, this happened to you.
Not do this.
Yeah, I need to keep my cool.
But it was just always how Icommunicated with my sisters,

(47:31):
right?
You took my car, I'm gonna takeyour car.
Like whatever.
Then that was just carried overinto, right into current day.
It is.
It is very funny.
I think that's a very funnydynamic and I think that it's
something that you just have tobe.
Sensitive, if that's the word,or just understand if someone
didn't grow up that way, like Iunderstand that sisters would
have a very different dynamicthan how I had a dynamic with a

(47:54):
sibling, right?
Because they're just, and I'msure that there are some
siblings where it just didn'tmatter, where it's like, it
could be a boy and a girl havinga similar situation.
Totally.
But I also think that there'sjust something to be said about.
Multiple females.
It's just different.
It is different.
I feel different.
Feel like even with my two, it'sgonna be a very different
situation.
Different than it is if therewas multiple girls.
I know.
I have two sisters and I have asister-in-law.

(48:15):
I'm very close with all three ofthem.
Mm-hmm.
I'm just as close with Gina nowas I am with my two sisters, who
I'm very close too.
And Gina is so funny'cause shegrew up with a brother.
With a brother.
So similar to you guys.
So Gina, when I first met her,or even not even first met her,
but even now I'm like, you don'tknow how to share, do you?
And she's no, I never knew howto share.
Now sharing is something you'resupposed to like teach your

(48:36):
2-year-old when they go to thelibrary oh, your turn, my turn.
She never learned how to sharebecause she didn't have, because
it's different.
You don't have, she never had toshare anything.
We would, my brother and Iwould, obviously we grew up
sharing toys and stuff, but whenyou, but then when you get to an
age, you're not sharing clothes.
You're not really sharing makeupand sh sharing that sort of it's
different.

(48:56):
But even sharing, she evendidn't have to learn how to
share time.
Right.
Because it was like.
Girl goes with mom, boy goeswith dad.
Like, when we were growing up,like all three of us had to
share our time with our mom.
All three of us had to fightdifferent for time with our dad.
Like different, I know we had, Ihad to learn how to share
everything.
Time, cars, money, everything.

(49:17):
That could be a whole podcastepisode, because I think that's
fascinating.
I know, but I think that is justa fascinating topic of the
dynamics between siblings andhow different that can be.
And it's something that youdon't wanna admit that, you
don't wanna admit that it'sdifferent, but it is.
And now you have to share, sharefriends than what happens when
you have to share friend.

(49:39):
I know, right?
Like that.
It's a little tricky too.
Sharing friends, right?
Yep.
That's so interesting.
Has that ever happened to youwhere you have a friend and you
feel like now you have to sharethe friend and you're like, Ugh,
this is annoying.
No, because I don't thinkthat's, I don't latch like that.
Yeah.
I don't mind sharing friends inthat way.
Okay.
But I am, I can relate to whatyou said about Gina because I'm

(50:01):
somebody who probably, I've hadto, I've remember poor Gina, she
doesn't even listen to thispodcast.
I know it's Cordy, but it'sokay.
But I remember even being incollege, right?
And like I had.
Friends with sisters.
Everybody that I lived with incollege all had sisters.
And I remember them like raidingmy clothes, right?
And I was like whoa.
What a minute.

(50:21):
Wait a minute.
What is happening?
Wait minute, what's going on?
And it was just second nature tothem because they all grew up
with sister.
I'm literally just doing like amental note of I didn't think I
realized this until you said it.
But then I was like, walls up.
Wait a minute.
No.
Like that.
That's not how I roll.
I don't know.
I became fine with it, but itwasn't like something that I was
So you did become fine with it?
Yeah, because it's, that's ahard, that's a hard thing to it.

(50:43):
Transition.
I became fine with it.
I don't love it, but I stillfeel and.
It's funny.
I know even growing up or noweven having Layla and I'm like,
this girl, she goes for all mystuff.
Like already she's one and ahalf.
She'll go in my closet and takeout my shoes, or she'll go in my
suitcase and start going throughstuff.
Oh, cute.
And I find myself like, ugh.

(51:03):
Oh my God.
Like I no.
And I'm like, oh, she is gonnabe like 16 in my closet taking
all my things and I'm just gonnahave to roll with it.
Oh, she's so cute.
I just found a picture of Avawhen she was 18 months old and
she had,'cause I always amwearing bracelets.
And she was wearing mag, she waswearing magnet tiles like the
magnet tiles that they playwith.

(51:24):
Yep.
They were like in the shape ofsquares and she was wearing a
stack of magnet tiles.
Tiles make bracelets on her armto look like they were
bracelets.
It's so cute.
It's really very cute.
I love cute it.
Oh my goodness.
Those girls.
I feel like we could keep goingand going with this because
this, I feel like we keep sayingfriendships, especially female
friendships are so layered andthere's so much going into it.

(51:47):
I feel like we have other topicsthat we can definitely expand
on.
If you guys have anythingspecific that you wanna talk
about mm-hmm.
please let us know.
You can send us a text and wecan dive into a little bit more
of female friendships.
'cause we haven't done a ton offemale friendship discussion.
No, and I really feel.
We're just scratching thesurface here.
I mean, Ultimately when I thinkabout my female friendships, I

(52:11):
wanna create experiences withoutguilt.
Attached to it.
I don't wanna feel bad about myexperiences that I have with
people that I love.
Because ultimately that's who myfriends are.
People that I love to share timeand space with.
Yep.
I love that.
We'll wrap up, even though wecould keep going mm-hmm.
for probably four more hours.

(52:32):
But we're gonna close out withour ending segment, which is our
pink spotlight, our person,place thing, tip, mantra.
Mm-hmm.
Anything that's making life alittle bit better this week.
I'll share mine.
Okay.
Because I, it's a little bit ofa practice that I've been doing.
Oh.
And getting back into somethingthat I used to do all the time.
And that's reading and.

(52:53):
I can't sit there and say thatI've gone through a ton of
different books because I reallyhaven't, I have a very small
window of time to read, but I'vebeen trying to read instead of
scroll at night.
Okay.
It's, and so you're replacing,okay.
I'm replacing, it has made ahuge difference in just the
relaxation I feel before I go tosleep.
It's insane for, and I really, Ionly have.

(53:16):
The mental stamina to stay upfor maybe 15 minutes.
It's not like I'm sitting therereading for hours, but it's just
making such a difference andit's been really nice to get
back into books.
How many books have I read thissummer?
Only two.
It's not like I've been crazy.
So what's on your, what's onyour nightstand?
Right now I'm reading The thirdsummer I turned Pretty book Be
and I'm Wa and I'm watching alsoat the same time, same time.

(53:37):
So it's going pretty wellbecause another episode, I only
have another episode.
Thing comes out today, right?
Yeah.
There's a new episode and I'vejust been like reading enough to
almost catch myself up to theseries.
It's like working perfectly andI didn't plan it to be Did they
follow along?
Yes, and they follow alongreally well.
So it's been interesting to readand then see the show or like
vice.

(53:57):
Duh.
Conrad all day.
If you're gonna sit there andtell me anything other than
that, get out of here.
So I've been wa'cause last nightI turned it on'cause I thought
it was coming on Tuesday.
Yeah, it's Wednesday, but Iguess it drops on Wednesday.
And I was like, oh, what am Igonna watch tonight?
So I just went back and startedwatching from the beginning.
Yeah.
Isn't this so good?
So good.
I know.
They always, it's like such ajoke and I feel like my reels

(54:20):
and TikTok feed are just,everything is, it's just that.
It's just everything is thatright now.
But it's so nostalgic and.
The book was actually writtenwhen we were like young.
Not no wonder we like it somuch.
Yeah.
I feel like it has that relatetime feeling.
Yeah.
It's supposed to be like, Idon't know if it's when we were
in high school or college.
It's around that time.

(54:40):
So it's, I think that there'ssomething to be said about why
all of the millennials are soinvested in this story.
It just feels very realistic.
Yeah.
And I love it.
But are you anything other thanTeam Conrad?
Is there another answer?
No.
Team Conrad, you know the othershow?
Tell me lies.
Oh yes, that's another good one.
Tell me Lies is another one.
That was in like 2008 that wasset back when we were in

(55:02):
college.
Yes.
So I feel like 2007 or 2007.
So all of us millennialsremember that douche bag from
college.
I know.
We were like, oh, it's so true.
I know.
It's so true.
So I feel like all of theseshows, it's also just fun.
No wonder.
Wonder.
That is so much.
But like summer I turn pretty,doesn't really do a lot of the
nostalgic.
Like they have it set in thistime.
It set in this time.
Curious but yes.
Tell me lies.

(55:23):
Oh my God.
Me and my girlfriends areobsessed with that show too.
'cause that's like.
If you look, it's like I coulddo a full podcast.
Podcast.
You I had podcast.
That outfit I went to thatparty, I did all those things.
The low rise jeans.
Oh, so good.
The DIY costumes.
Yeah.
I was at that Fred house forsure, but I, yes.
Getting back into, anyways, Idigress.
Sorry.
Getting back into tv.
You're not just watching tv.
Yeah, I'm not just watching TVand I'm not just scrolling my

(55:45):
phone.
It's been really helping.
I got myself like a littlenightlight too, like a little
bedside one.
The one night clicks on yourbook.
Yeah, because I was like, then Ican at least read and I don't
have to be like, bothering myhusband.
But it's just been really nice.
Good for you.
And so I'm gonna try to get backinto my Kindle.
I've been reading like, realbooks.
I've had, I had two books that Iactually physically had.

(56:05):
But I'm gonna get back into myKindle too and like really try
to make this a habit because Ijust feel good for you mentally.
It's great.
It.
And if you guys have any lovebook recommendations, I love,
I'm like, so behind on theTimes, I had just read what's
the one with Blake Lively?
That whole drama, it ends withus.
That it ends with us.
I just got through that.
Oh, wow.
And I'm like five years late toit.
But I, I just haven't been inthat space to be able to read.

(56:25):
I have a cute view you can take.
I like to read.
Yeah, I know.
So what is yours this week?
Mine's a thing.
Okay.
And I'm wearing them, I'm doinga show and talent shoes.
Oh my goodness.
I'm obsessed.
Oh, fun.
I copied my sister-in-law.
Where are those from?
These are from Amazon.
I was gonna say, if they'reanother target find, you're
gonna be, look at how cute theseare.
Oh, those are adorable.
So they are like inspired by theGucci shoes.
They look a little Gucci.
Mm-hmm.
But they're not though.

(56:45):
Because Guc, the Gucci shoeshave the gold bar here and the
chunky heel.
But I like these because they'rea sandal you have been on, they
only have on fire teensy littleheel.
So you can wear these like asandal.
But they also can be a heel.
Can we collectively go back tonever wearing a stiletto again?
Like I, I literally hope wenever like a So Kate.

(57:06):
Yes.
I hope because I'm just lovingall of these like small heels.
Yeah.
They're really cute.
It also makes it so easy to wearpants with them with, if you're
all having the same height ofheel, it makes.
Having a pair of jeans so mucheasier because then you don't
have to worry about oh, oneoutfit a day.
Yeah.
If you have a cute shoe that canbe worn every day.
Yeah.
You know when you're like, oh, Ihave my jeans that are go with

(57:26):
flats and I have my jeans thatgo with heels.
Yes.
And like it's just easy thateverything is the same level
right now.
Yeah.
So these are cute.
I'll link them because they haveso cute Every single color love.
And I really like them a lot.
I love it so much.
I think they were 24 99.
I love it.
You have been the queen offinding like good look for less
this summer.
These, I copied from Gina.
I can't take you.
I feel like everything isinspired by like somebody else.

(57:48):
I, and I'll just tell you whoinspired me'cause I didn't up
with it myself.
That's the way to go, takingbits of pieces.
I'll give everybody the creditand hopefully that's what
everybody's doing.
Listening in.
Hopefully you're taking sometips that we're sharing and Yes.
Our pink spotlights and applyingthem to your daily life too.
So this week we gave you ourtake on female friendships and

(58:09):
where we're just sitting withthem.
Yep.
And maybe we'll dive intoanother topic.
During another day.
Yeah.
And we would about, because wedidn't really talk about like
conflict.
Yeah.
Because that's another, maybewe'll talk about conflict with
female friendships.
Yeah.
And if there's anything else,have friends that don't get
along or when you're really justnot getting along.
Wow.
I know there's so many things wecan talk about with female

(58:29):
friendships, so if there'sanything in particular, we
literally get so many of ourepisode ideas from you guys.
Yeah.
And then don't forget to rereview and subscribe to us if
you haven't already.
You can click those five starsif you're loving listening
along.
Thank you for all the reviews.
They've been piling up and it'sYes.
You've been getting so many goodreviews because the more reviews
and we have on there Yep.

(58:50):
The more visibility the podcastgets.
Yes.
Oh, we appreciate it.
And the more other people canfind it, we love you guys and we
will see you next week.
Have a good weekend.
Bye.