Episode 27: Friendship, Wellness & Choosing Your Own Path with Marissa Meade of @stylecusp

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
I'm Christina, and I'm t, andthis is the Pretty and Pink
Again podcast where Motherhoodmeets rediscovery.
today we're sitting down withsomeone who is not just a dear
friend, but is also a true forcein this space.

(00:22):
Marissa Mead, her health journeyhas shaped the way she shows up,
not just for herself but for hercommunity.
She's known for creating deepand authentic connections in an
industry that often leanscompetitive and surface level.
What makes Marissa stand out isthat she gives herself
permission to pause, takesbreaks that are both needed and
deserved, reminding us thatstepping back is sometimes the

(00:44):
bravest way to move forward.
And this conversation, Christinaand Marissa shared the story of
how they first connected andwhat it's like navigating the
influencer and creative worldtogether.
Hello.
Hello.
Hey, how are you?
I'm good.
I'm good.
It's been a while.
I wish that everyone just heardthe banter that was going on in
this room.
You will.
Maybe not all of it.

(01:06):
We have a guest here todaysitting with us, which is really
exciting.
Yeah, we have someone in the hotseat today.
I love when we can actually getsomebody in person, but it is my
girl Marissa from Style Cuts.
Hello here from Florida and backand forth from Florida, I should
say.
But we caught her in the middleof the tactics travel schedule,
and we got her in the hot seat.

(01:26):
Yes.
So we're so excited to have you.
Thanks for having me.
I'm really excited too.
This has been a long timecoming.
I launched the podcast and Ifeel like my following was like,
when's Marissa coming on?
They knew, they were like, I'mlike we're gonna get her on.
She's not local right now, butwe'll get her on.
So we're finally here.
We are here.
I'm so happy to have you here.
Thanks for having me.
And your home is beautiful.

(01:47):
thank you.
I'm excited to talk to you guysabout how you've navigated
through this industry togetherand remained such special
friends.
I've met you Marissa throughChristina years ago.
I know.
So long.
You guys have always just beensuch a good duo.
And I wanna hear about all thehealthcare stuff and that
journey for you.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Let's dive right in.
how long are you in Connecticutfor?

(02:09):
I, that's such a loadedquestion.
Okay.
So are you here for like pumpkinspice season or, so honestly, I
don't really have an exacttimetable.
I also, I never do, so I'm likenot really thinking that far
ahead with anything like ever.
But I am going back to Floridain September for at least a
week.
And knock on wood, I'm not likethrust back here quickly by,

(02:31):
because of hurricane, which hashappened the last three or four
years that I've gone down therein Septembers.
So hurricane season is Septemberin Florida.
Yeah.
It's Fullblown right now, butalso.
August, September.
September Seems to be like theunlucky month.
Yeah.
And I feel like you used to,'cause how many years have you
been going back and forth?
Is it like four or five?
Um, 20, 21.
So this is my fifth.
This will be my, this is thefifth year.

(02:52):
Fifth year.
But it'll be going into mysixth.
I feel like you have inched likeyear by year used to be.
Okay, you're going for thespring and then you'll be here
for the summer.
And the fall.
And the holiday.
And then sometimes you would goback in yeah.
February.
And then every year I lose youmore and more.
Are you?
I definitely spend more time inFlorida and yeah, because But
your driver's license is stillCTDL.

(03:13):
It's actually still here, but itexpires in December, so I have
to gonna lose her.
Gonna, we're losing herofficially.
She's gonna be a Floridian.
I know.
And now I feel like, I'm like,wait, you're visiting us here
and now I can't be like, you'recoming home.
I'm like, you're visitingConnecticut again.
It is sad at, so exciting at Youlook like a Florida girl.
She does.
Really?
I like the blonde hair, the blueeyes said the chill vibe.

(03:34):
You look like a West coastFlorida girl.
That's exactly what I am.
I can't wait now.
My boyfriend love this.
No, I feel like, I know, I feellike you're New England.
You are a New England girl, butI do feel like this part of you
is like really fitting with yourlife too.
Like it's a hundred percent.
You're like my little mermaid.
It feels like I am, I always sayI'm a mermaid.
You're my mermaid.

(03:55):
I feel like it really reflectsme most on an inner like deep
level, being in Florida, thelifestyle, there's so many
things.
My soul truly feels at peacethere and I feel like I could
never really place that here inConnecticut, but it wasn't
something I realized until Iactually went there.
I think that's and had thisepiphany and so much happened in

(04:16):
my own life and internally andpersonal growth and so when I
went there and really felt that,it was like, okay, I feel like
I'm at home, in some ways.
So when you went there, did youhave family there that was there
or did you go off on your own?
I honestly went more or less bymyself.
I was initially only going for amonth and doing like getaway

(04:38):
from the cold in Connecticut andthe drag of just like the
February, March, April, likeextended time of year.
I would just always hit a wallwhere I had like actual seasonal
affective disorder, But I had toget away.
I was like, I can't do this.
My mom was like, Marissa, youhave the job.
You have the means like go andtake a month or whatever you
want, like a couple weeks, amonth.

(04:58):
So I get there, walk into thecondo that I'm renting, and
literally I take two steps in.
Don't even look at like thewhole place called my realtor,
who was my second cousin'sfiance at the time.
So really weird, like howeverything was connected.
Because I didn't wanna have amoment where I was like, oh,
should I was like, I need tomove in.
What I know in my heart is whatI need to do, and it's stay here

(05:20):
without any reservations.
And so I did, and then I endedup staying another couple weeks
after that.
Yeah, you were gone that year Iwas gone.
I don't think I saw you untilalmost June.
Yeah.
So you were supposed to go for amonth.
I was going until mid-May orsomething.
So you had one of those visceralreactions when you arrived?
Yes.
I need to stay.
Yes.
And it really, I obviouslydidn't know why the initial
reaction was like, oh my God,I'm gonna love it here.

(05:41):
This place looks amazing.
Like I'm a mile from the beach.
All these things.
But then as I was there longer,it really was just like this
unfolding of so many things thatwere going on in my life and it
really changed a trajectory forme.
I know I wanna, I cannot waittill we get to that point of
your story, because I do thinkthat's such an exciting thing to
start with because I just feellike that's just a.

(06:04):
It's just a really, that's oneof those like stories that
you're, when you hear somebodyjust be bold with something and
then it just completely changedtheir life from that point on.
Yes.
And that was that moment, right?
Like you're saying you knew youwanted to stay.
Yeah.
But I want you to, yeah.
That was her point.
Rediscovering, yes.
It was like, yes.
That was your point ofrediscovering for the next
chapter and chapters of yourlife.

(06:26):
Which is just so exciting whenyou can pinpoint that exact
moment, which is amazing.
But I wanna take us back.
Take us all back and do a littleintroduction of you.
And kind of I guess how you gotto that point.
'cause I feel like that's justthe midpoint Of your story, but
yeah.
Tell us a little bit aboutyourself and I guess I can
explain our connection, butYeah, you can for sure.

(06:47):
Intro.
Okay.
So I guess we've alreadyestablished.
I'm born and raised New Englandgirl here.
I'm from a very large family.
Family is like a big deal for usand the oldest of seven girls,
if you don't already know that.
So I born and raised here andthen I guess I'll start like my
early twenties, went to college,graduated in three years.
Honestly, at the time it waslike, woo, I'm saving money.

(07:07):
But looking back I'm like, whydidn't I take that extra year?
Because you're never getting itback, and now I'm like, stay as
long as you can.
Like to people, be young.
I'm like, don't be an, become anadult and have responsibility.
Not that being an adult is bad,and so I was in college and I
always loved to write, I alwaysloved to journal.
I literally still have myjournals from when I was five

(07:27):
years old and like writing on aevery other line to write big
enough,'cause you were so littleand writing.
So it's always been something Iloved.
And so when I was in college, Iactually started a blog because
I wanted an online place towrite.
Even in high school, I had anxanga, which was like an online
diary where you could followpeople.
So writing and just like beingstorytelling vulnerable from

(07:49):
that perspective has always beenpart of me.
And so I started a blog on asnowy night in college in 2010
and just started documentinglike whatever I felt like and I
didn't have any, oh, I'm onlygonna talk about this, only
gonna talk about that.
It was just whatever.
And then probably about a yearlater is when I started to see

(08:10):
people were like sharing anoutfit and this was like, I'm
talking no way, shape, or formthat it is now.
It was like I would post like arandom blurry, dark photo from
my kitchen of a blender withsomething in it and then be
like, these are like why I'menjoying making this smoothie.
But I was interning for afashion designer in college,
fully in Corina, in the city.

(08:31):
And my internship was remote andI actually went up there during
fashion week to help them with aphoto shoot and an event they
had.
And then there was also aconference, independent fashion
bloggers.
And back in the day it was IFBand I couldn't even afford to go
to the conference because I wasin college and broke.
So I volunteered at theconference to go and helped pass

(08:54):
out whatever, And then they werelike you can stay and listen the
rest of the day.
So I'm like, this is how I canlearn.
So literally I'm walking around,like passing stuff out to
people, whatever, and justlistening to all the stuff the
whole time.
And there was probably everyonethat was considered a blogger at
the time in the world, like inthis room.
And let me tell you, there waslike maybe 50 to a hundred max
if that people, this wasn'tlike, oh, a big conference.

(09:17):
It was very small.
So obviously you can see theevolution and this is all, and
there was, I'm trying to think,2010.
So what about Instagram that wasmissing yet?
It wasn't, I don't even thinkInstagram wanted that.
So when you're talking blog, itwas sim, it was strictly just
written.
Yep.
We had Google Friend Connect,that's how you connected with
another blog and followed themto have them, unlike your
backend reader, like an RSSfeed.

(09:39):
Got it.
Like it was so archaic.
Like I, I'm like, this issetting me back.
Yeah.
I haven't thought about thisstuff in so long.
So that was spring of 2011 thatI volunteered.
So about a year after I startedmy blog and that's when I was
like, oh, there's people thatlike share more than just
whatever.
Either they're sharing anoutfit, they're sharing this,
and this was like sincerely,Jules and Brian Vo and like

(09:59):
people that like don't evenreally blog anymore.
They have like brands in atotally different capacity.
And so I started to like do thata little bit more.
And then fast forward to aftercollege, I got a job and was
working, at Nordstrom in theshoe department in sales.
And then I worked, I had someconsulting jobs and then I had
my blog and then I was alsoworking in house for another

(10:20):
company doing marketing.
I was doing all the thingsbecause that's when people
started to like, pay you forsomething.
But I'm talking like 50 bucks.
So I was like, if I do three ofthat a month, I can pay my car
payment, and I was piecingtogether how I could potentially
do this full-time.
And then fast forward to 2014 iswhen I went full-time with.
My blog, which at that point hadthen incorporated in Instagram

(10:44):
and more things were becomingpart of the whole thing and more
people were doing this and itwas something that brands were
taking note of and you couldstart working with brands and
that's when it became more of ajob.
Okay.
And we met, so back to that IFB.
Mm-hmm.
So I was invited to IFBI hadstarted in 2011.
And so the 2012 season Yes.

(11:07):
Of that IFB conference, I wasinvited to that and I went,
yeah.
And I had been hanging out witha bunch of other bloggers.
I think that most of them werefrom like Dallas and maybe
Florida.
Yeah.
And so I had a bunch ofgirlfriends that were like, we
were all planned to go.
Yep.
And we were at a party.
For Fashion Week that we wereboth invited to.
We were at the Lucky FabConference.

(11:28):
We were at the Lucky FabConference in 2012.
Lucky, which Lucky doesn't evenexist anymore, was in September
of 2012.
'Cause I remember I was wearinga leather dress.
This was Lucky Magazine, whichis again, archaic.
We're gonna use that term a lottoday.
But this was like the big todoback then.
Yes.
Huge.
If you were invited to, luckyyou.
That was a big deal.
Yes.
Like you were like, okay, I'mdoing actually good at this.
Yes.
So we, I was like networking andtalking to a bunch of people and

(11:52):
there was a bunch of girls thatI was hanging out with that all
knew each other because theywere local to each other.
And I was like the tag alongbecause I was the northeast girl
and they, I was hanging out withall these southern girls.
Yeah.
Trying to make fun.
Yeah.
I don't even remember who I wasthere with.
Somebody said, actually, I doknow anything about it.
Somebody said to me, oh wait,you're from Connecticut.
I just met another Connecticutblogger and my mouth probably

(12:14):
dropped.
I was like, what?
There's another Connecticutblogger at this conference who,
and they point down the roomand.
I see Marissa, it was like the Cpart.
Yeah.
And there's Marissa and I'mlike, I am going and saying
hello.
So I literally walked right overto you, like tapped you on the
shoulder.
Yeah.
And I was like, someone saidyou're from Connecticut.
And she was like, I am.
And I'm like, I'm fromConnecticut.

(12:35):
Yeah.
And we, at that point, we lived20 minutes from each other.
Yeah.
So we were like, okay, as soonas we get back we are planning
like a little girl date.
And we're gonna have a date.
Like we're gonna get to knoweach other.
And that was it.
Like I feel like we had adinner.
I can remember sitting acrossfrom you.
Same.
And I remember word vomit.
We pictures after.
Yeah, we did.
Yeah.
We were like you started byhelping each other.

(12:56):
Yes.
Yeah.
We did immediately love that wewould meet up, I don't know,
every couple weeks, like we'dload our cards up with a ton of
clothes and shoot all theoutfits we wanted Match.
Yep.
And have them for our blogs fora couple weeks.
We'd do what, two or three postsa week or something?
Yep.
At this point.
Maybe more.
Yeah.
But we would shoot, my sisteralso shot for me at the time.
Yeah.
And Raja was shooting for, and Iwould shoot a lot for each
other.

(13:16):
And that's because this was backwhen things were more curated.
Yeah.
Whereas now your shoots are morenatural and videos and more and
more real time, more interactivewith your audience.
Yeah.
Yes.
More real time.
But we were like filling up ourcars but, and schlepping around.
Yes.
Yeah.
I remember I ran into you guysone day we did ran Us and Must
Our pretenders and you werelike, oh, we're shooting.
We're today probably in thefreezing cold.

(13:37):
And you're I know.
I was like, I'm about to delivertwins.
I know.
As you were.
I know.
That is so funny.
So yeah, that was how we, thatwas how we started to become
friends.
Yeah.
And it's just.
From that point on.
I think that was such a goodpoint that you made that we
started out helping each other.
I think that's probably pointnumber one of why we've been
able to remain friends for 15years now at this point.

(13:57):
It's because we didn't start outin competition it was just us.
We were the only people doingthis In Connecticut for a long
time.
And we were like, why not helpeach other?
We both love doing this.
It was passion.
For us at the beginning, andneither of us were doing it for
our full-time jobs.
We couldn't even envision thatquite yet.
But yes, I think that it's, westarted out with like comradery
and helping each other.

(14:18):
Yeah, for sure.
That's a strong foundation of afriendship.
But when one of the Texas girlssaid to you, oh, there was a
girl over there fromConnecticut, you could have
sneered and turned your headaway and been like, I'm not
interested in.
But instead you got up and youchased her down and you grabbed
her towards No, I couldn't wait.
I thought it was amazing.
And I think so.
I think whether or not the sea,like if it was loaded or not,
you would've had that samefeeling.
I don't know.
That feeling reaction, that'swho you are.

(14:39):
Yeah.
I just think it was exciting tomeet somebody who is doing The
same thing as me and had thesame sort of passions.
It was also, it's hard toexplain how it was then I think
to fully grasp, because we're ina world now where everyone is
some type of creator,influencer, documenter, whatever
the buzzword you wanna call itis.

(15:00):
But we're all doing that in someway, or we all know what that is
or have access to it, or we'reconsuming it.
Every, literally everyone.
Everybody.
That didn't exist.
That wasn't like no oneunderstood what I did and I
didn't even know what I wasdoing.
There wasn't this rubric thatyou followed, like we were the
ones that were putting theliteral pavement like down for
to be what it is now.

(15:21):
Which is crazy to think about itis because like I had no idea
what the heck I was doing.
It was just oh, this is fun,like writing online.
And then I, oh, I get invited toa conference.
And there was all thesedifferent things that you're
like, wait, there's other peoplethat are actually like writing
online and sharing things andlike talking about like an
outfit.
And it wasn't even outfits whenI first started.
So like it evolved into thatkind of quickly to be at the

(15:42):
point where like when Christinaand I met, there were more like
fashion bloggers.
That's what we called ourselves.
But it wasn't something that waswell known.
to meet someone else who is soclose in proximity to me, I was
like, oh my God, I have somebodythat understands this.
It's like a soul sister.
And it was like, oh my God.
Yes.
'cause also you're like, finallysomebody can help me take
pictures.

(16:02):
Yeah.
that gets it.
So I feel, yeah.
And I feel like when you have,again, something that like bonds
you, you always say peace.
Yeah.
It's the epitome of a sharedexperience.
Yes.
Tea's favorite thing is when youhave something that is bigger
than you.
Yeah.
It creates this beautiful bondand it creates the, I think
that's like the best roots andgrounds and foundations for

(16:23):
friendships.
And that's, not to say that youcan't form other friendships
other ways, but that seems to belike the secret sauce.
And that was definitely true forour story.
For sure.
And you guys work in thisreally, I think probably the,
you have the only job where.
Anybody can have access to yourjob.
What I mean by that is in otherprofessions, like for instance,

(16:45):
my husband is a doctor, right?
What he does all day at work,nobody could find out about.
Nobody can just be like, oh, I'mgoing to wake up and I'm gonna
try to do hands surgery doctor,or I'm gonna show up and shadow
a doctor for a day.
Or I know what a doctor does fora day.
Nobody has any idea.
You have this job where youraunt, your mother, your sister,
your uncle, whoever has a phonecould go on and see what you're

(17:08):
doing for work for the day.
Yeah.
They can also see what you'redoing for your job, for your
personal life, or whatever youput on there.
Yeah.
So you have to both decide.
What you're gonna share.
And how do you keep thatboundary of work in life?
But back to Marissa's point,really, anybody can be an
influencer, content creator.
You need a phone.
That's what you need right now.

(17:28):
That's it.
So it is, it's a just a, that'sa very interesting kind of
comparison.
Yeah.
Because it is something thatanybody really could figure out
how to do.
It's not a, as there are skillsinvolved, and obviously we know
as like we put together apodcast, you, there are tech
skills that you need to learn.
Yeah.
And all these things behind thescenes, but anybody can do it.
And I guess I'm not as, I don'tmean to throw shade about

(17:50):
anybody.
'cause I don't think anybody cando it.
What I was really trying topinpoint is.
Not everybody can just show upat a hospital and watch what is
being done all day long.
Yeah.
But anybody who has access to aphone now Can view your job.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
Like your content being theproduct of your job is what I'm
trying to say Okay, that makessense.
So how do you then work, put outyour work, your professionalism,

(18:15):
your income?
And yet still keep some kind ofprivacy and dignity, for your
personal life, which I knowthere are certain things you
have to protect, right?
For sure.
Like even though you signed upfor this to be your job, it
didn't mean you have to signaway your life and your privacy.
I think as things evolved too.
The times definitely changed andthe walls came down a lot more I

(18:37):
think.
When you had a blog and Marissa,correct me if you think
differently.
But I think when you had a blogand we're posting a couple of
times a week, and it was yournarrative, right?
It was your storytelling, it wasfrom your point of view.
It was just very different.
You could share what you wantedto, I feel like it was just a
little bit easier to be a littlebit more private and guarded.

(18:57):
And with the rise of Instagram,which became an essential part
of the job, and Instagramnumbers became a huge factor in
brand partnerships and yourlivelihood and the blog became a
little bit less important.
Mm-hmm.
As Instagram and these otherplatforms were growing it.
It did blur the lines of whatyou should share And what you

(19:20):
shouldn't share, and the amountthat you needed to share
throughout the week.
Throughout the day.
Yeah.
I think on a larger scale, ithas a lot to do with video be,
that's when I noticed thebiggest shift.
And so when, you know there wasInstagram, it was like there
weren't stories back whenInstagram started.
Like FYI, if you didn't haveInstagram then, like there was
not stories back in the day.

(19:40):
It was just a feed and it waschronological.
So that's the other thing thatpeople forget about is like now
you have access to a person, alevel of access to a person in a
way that didn't exist.
when Instagram came out, it wasjust it was instant.
You Insta, like you weresharing, boom.
Oh, I'm gonna take a picture ofthis and I'm posting it.

(20:01):
And it, there was no likethought process behind it.
But then as Instagram evolved,they launched this thing called
stories.
And I remember when theylaunched this.
Christina and I have a friend inthe industry, her name's
Danielle.
I remember she was one of thefirst people I saw posting
stories, and I remember thinkinglike, what the heck is she
doing?
Why is she talking on video?
Thinking weird.
It was such a foreign idea.
Yes, it was.
Because we weren't YouTubers.

(20:21):
Yeah.
We're not like video people, butit was like, okay, you have to
adopt this thing if you wannacontinue to grow and continue to
further your platform.
So this is the first time youboth started actually talking to
your audience?
Yes.
Because when else would you havebefore you would talk to your
audience?
Through maybe a large caption?
Yes.
Like a large caption, like a, ina still picture.

(20:42):
Honestly, the captions were moreof oTD, check the blog for the
full outfit.
Like it was very simple.
We were still bringing peopleback.
It was still pushing people.
And then that's where you canget a little bit more in depth
the story if you wanted to doany of that.
But it is true with Instagramstories, which was probably like
10 years ago at this point.
It might have been like 2016, Iwanna say 15, 16 ish time.

(21:02):
It was so foreign because Iremember, I remember where I
was, people's faces to hearpeople's voices that you had
been watching and you had never,you never seen them, you never
had seen their face move.
'cause they're only in a pictureor you had never seen them heard
she talk, never heard.
Yep.
You didn't see people that way.
You just saw these images.
So you were then thrust intokind of consuming on a different

(21:24):
level.
Which is also from the techstandpoint where all these
platforms were going, right?
They were going into the videoand then it was like the long
form and then it was like, oh,no one has an attention span.
So it's gotten shorter.
There's been this progression.
Back to your original question.
I think that's where the shiftin vulnerability came in and
there was this like, okay, whatare my boundaries with what I'm

(21:47):
sharing?
and'cause at first, like I said,I was like, what the heck?
I'm not, getting on video andthat seems so weird.
And how do I talk and what do Isay and do I should I be like
dressed up or should I have nomakeup?
Like it was very weird'cause itwas so foreign, then it became
more natural and you'd sharemore of like things to do with
your business.
And then another layer of okay,if you really wanna connect, you

(22:09):
have to be more open andvulnerable.
And I think, I don't really knowif I can pinpoint a time when I
really felt like, I was like,okay, I'm gonna be more
vulnerable.
I'm gonna be more this way, orbe more that way per se.
What feels natural for me toshare and also what do I

(22:29):
personally feel safe sharingwith a world that I don't really
know.
On the other side, it's like Iknew my audience when it was
smaller, but as it grew, it waslike, it's not possible to know
everyone.
And there's people that followme now that have followed me for
10 plus years, but I don't knowall of them like by name or like

(22:50):
they know my face.
I don't know their face.
And so it really was like, whatdo I feel safe sharing and what
do I feel like I can share thatmakes sense in the context of my
platform, but isn't sovulnerable and open where I feel
I'm sharing stuff with strangersthat they don't really need to
know, Yeah.
And I think for everyone it'sdifferent.

(23:10):
How is your platform created?
What are the pillars of yourplatform, et cetera.
So when you started, youmentioned you had a blog, so you
didn't have a mission pillars.
No.
Yeah.
What, okay.
I'm like, Marissa meet, I'mgonna hone in on beauty and
Home.
You didn't have that.

(23:30):
When do you think that thosepillars started to develop for
you?
Probably more after college whenI was like, okay, maybe I'll
take this a little moreseriously.
And by seriously I meant likeconsistently, like not just, so
when this became your full-timejob by then, you had already had
these Yeah, for sure.
In place.
Yeah.
By 2014 when I had that, it waslike definitely fashion and then
I would do a little bit oftravel stuff and that was

(23:53):
primarily what I was doing.
And would you say the same goesfor you?
C Christina?
Mine was a little bit, mine wasmainly fashion, and then mine
was definitely beauty andtravel.
Okay.
I think Marissa did a little bitmore, I would say lifestyle.
Like you had a little bit morelifestyle content and then you
broke out.
In my opinion with wellness.
And I feel like I even, Iassociate you with wellness.

(24:16):
Yes.
I feel as a viewer when I thinkof you.
Yeah.
And I think that was, even thinktime wellness I think it was
even before wellness became likethe A thing surge category that
it is now.
You were always dabbling withthat type of stuff and it was
because it was just naturallywoven in.
It wasn't always something thatwas like a huge priority and it

(24:36):
was because it grew into yourlife and so You grew with it.
And started sharing it.
That's what I would think thathappened.
I think, thank you for sayingthat.
'cause number one, I feel likethat is such a huge thing for me
now, but the reason why isbecause it is part of my life.
It's not even a lifestyle, it'sjust who I am.
The biggest thing that I alwaysfall back on is I want my

(24:57):
platform to be a directreflection of who I am.
I don't want it to be me tryingto show up differently or fake
something or whatever it is, theraw re who I am.
So when someone sees me online,I want them to feel that if they
meet me in person, they'remeeting the same person and they
know what I'm about becausethat's just who I am.
I'm not having to try to dosomething for this platform that

(25:18):
is now a platform, I think topiggyback a little bit on what
Christina just said aboutbreaking out in that area.
It really was just a culminationof all the things I was going
through in my life at that time.
And so it wasn't something thatI was like I'm gonna talk about
wellness now.
Like it was just what I wasgoing through.
I had been diagnosed with Celiacwhen I was in college and was on

(25:38):
this whole journey with anaturopathic doctor to heal my
body and my gut and I couldn'teat anything without being in
horrible stomach, like intensepain.
this is when?
Thousand 10.
Twenties.
Yeah.
This was when I met you.
You had celiac.
Yeah.
So I had again gotten diagnosedwith Celiac when I was a junior
in college, so it was my lastyear.

(25:59):
I graduated in 2011 and thenwhen I came home from college,
and it was the next couple ofyears, I was really like working
on my health and like your gutfeeling good, and like being
able to eat food.
I couldn't even eat food withoutbeing in so much pain.
You're so progressive though,because I never heard the word
gut health until like morerecently.
And now like you hear everybodytalk about, and I learned about

(26:20):
this from you, literally likegut health and it's like on
everything, but it seems likeyou were really doing the
research then when you couldn'tjust like, for sure drive to the
end of the corner and find adoc, like a holistic doctor that
specialized in, this.
Yes.
And you were very open, I thinkabout sharing that.
Yeah, like I wasn't hiding that.
I was like going through healthrelated things and not in a way

(26:42):
where it was like something bad.
It was more, I was just like,this is what I do.
This is what my life is, this ishow I eat.
Yeah, I remember being like,when I moved into my first
apartment in 2015, I was sharinglike grocery halls and recipes
and all that.
And so that's always been partof me.
I'm like, oh my God, that's 10years ago.
Now I'm sitting here, I'm like,five years ago.
I'm like, wait, no.
So I think it's just been anatural progression for me, and

(27:06):
now my wellness platform hasevolved to what it is.
But like I was with a wellnesscompany.
I like use young living productsfor so long.
So that became a big part of mycontent, which I still love and
use them every day.
People ask me all the time, yes,I use young, my products, all
the, I still ask her all thetime, yes, can you for oil,
please sc me an oil, I needthis.
And I was gonna say that waslike another huge shift.

(27:28):
Where I feel like, because thatwas something that you were
actually using and it wassomething that you were a quote
unquote expert about because youwere using and you.
And you were like the wellnessgirly for your friends.
Yeah.
So you were sharing these thingsand people would go to you just
people might ask me what myfavorite lip liner is.
They're asking you for yourfavorite oil to do this and

(27:50):
that.
Yeah.
And I would say that was likeanother huge turning point for
you.
'cause I think that also got a,that got you a new audience.
for sure.
And I also like to that point,feel or felt at that time and
still in ways I do now, whichwe'll probably get to, but I was
feeling really disconnected fromjust talking about like clothes

(28:13):
and stuff.
Like I was seeing people orderlike 900 pieces of clothing a
month and sharing them in thehalls and all this stuff.
And I felt was like, I don'twanna do that.
Like that just didn't feel rightfor me.
And I'm a person who moves a lotin.
How I feel like I feel stronglyabout something, I'm gonna
gravitate towards it, and I feelstrongly about not something
that I'm not going to.

(28:34):
You can tell based on your moveto Florida and where you're
extending for a month there,you're, you really go with your
gut.
Yeah.
And I think that's why yourbusiness has continued to grow
with you because you've, asyou've changed, you honor that
and then your business followsyou.
Yes.
You're not chasing the business.
It's chasing you.
Yes.
Correct.
And I think like Christina canattest that like on a friend

(28:54):
level where I'll be like, I'mnot doing that.
I am not going and doing this.
I'm not sharing that.
I'm very just no.
And not in a, you're too goodfor it kind of way.
Just that this doesn't feelright.
Doesn't feel right.
It's not right for me.
It's not aligned.
This isn't where I feel like Ican have impact.
And even now, like I've beensaying for the last two years,
I'm like.
I don't wanna just twirl aroundin my room in an outfit like
that doesn't bring me joy.

(29:16):
What brings joy elevating womenevery day and how they can make
their life better?
What does that look like?
And how can they be elevated intheir life to live better?
And maybe that includes anoutfit one day, but then maybe
that includes like other thingsanother day, and so it's not
about oh, I'm not sharingfashion.
It's like how is it beingpresented?

(29:37):
And for me, because I've beenthrough so many different things
in the last 15 years on apersonal level and so many
things, it was like my contenthad to grow with me and not the
other way around.
And that I think has always, ifyou go back to asking about my
mission, it was never about thepillars of the content pillars.

(29:58):
It's always been about that.
Like I want this platform toreflect me and not me molding
into something to fit aplatform.
Wow.
But it's hard.
It honestly is hard to do that.
You have to be very strong andlike secure with yourself to be
able to do that.
Yeah.
I think even to stay in thisspace for as long as both of us
have at this point.

(30:19):
It's hard.
I think it's hard.
Yeah.
So I think that I always havelooked to you because you have
definitely done it very well,but you've also done it with a
lot of strength and like a lotof knowing who you are.
Yeah.
but I also know the innerworkings of your life.
And I know that.
Maybe things might look veryglamorous and easygoing on the

(30:42):
outside, but that's not thecase.
And so I think just like any ofus, we've all had things that
rock you and things that cantear you down.
And in those moments it reallyis hard to know who you are.
And you have this sort of, Idon't know what you wanna call
them almost like a identitycrisis, where you go through
these moments in your life whereyou don't know who you are, So

(31:04):
it makes you question and it isso hard to be on the side that
we're on, right?
Yes.
Where it is your job to shareyour life and your pillars, if
you wanna call them, that, yourlife pillars and what you're all
about, Sometimes things have toshift and that also can hurt
your business.
it's easy To mold and to do whatyou think is working for the

(31:28):
times.
And that's why we've seen peoplecome out of the woodwork and
they're just like, they seesomething that's working and
they just go with it.
Oh, I'm gonna do that too, andI'm just gonna copy everything
that this person's doing andmaybe I take a little of this
and I take a little of that andthen they create this like fake
online persona.
It's harder to take a step back,but I don't think it's easy to
maintain that.
It's not easy to maintain.

(31:50):
that's why you see the rise,rise and fall of a lot of
people.
You see this when we say storiesis coming out and then you see
somebody just explode with thatand run and okay, now I'm the
person that puts my face on allthe time.
I can talk and I can do allthese things.
then they explode in that momentand then something else comes
out and they don't adapt.

(32:10):
Because you're just copyingeveryone and you don't really
know who you are and what youstand for.
I think me and you have probablyboth been guilty of.
Letting those voices in whereyou're like, oh, should I do
that?
Yeah.
And I think that sometimes weend up having really hard
conversations with each otherwhere we try to pull each other
back.
No.
You said that you don't wanna dosomething like that.

(32:31):
Are you sure?
Like we are the voice of reasonfor each other.
Yeah.
Because I think that you can getreally fricking lost in this
space.
Yeah.
Like very easily if you don'thave a grasp on who you are,
what you wanna talk about.
Because I think it comes morenaturally when you have a really
good handle on yourself, it'seasy for you to be like, Okay,
now this is what I wanna do andwhat I wanna share.

(32:53):
But if you don't, it's easy toget lost in it.
Yeah.
Have you always had a strongsense of self?
That's a good question.
No, I was just gonna say,'causeyou come across as somebody who
like listens to yourself.
And I think that people that.
Are confident, give themselves abeat.
Mm-hmm.
And just listen to themselvesinstead of listening to others
first.
Yeah.

(33:13):
And you just that is who I feellike is sitting beside me.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I think that I've always had avery strong sense of self-worth.
And to that with confidence cameconfidence.
Yeah.
And not in a cocky way, but Iwas just like, okay, I know that
if I wanna go do something, Iknow I can do it.
It was like a fearlessconfidence kind of mentality.

(33:36):
And I think that's what'sbrought me to where I am now,
like with life and business andso much.
But to the point about sense ofself, I think that's something
that I really started to diveinto and carve out in my late
twenties.
There was so many things like inmy twenties that really rocked
my world.
Like my family fell apart.
I was in a long termrelationship and had a walk away

(33:57):
from an engagement.
All that health stuff.
Not having relationships with myparents at different points in
my life.
Like all of these things marked.
Oh my God.
Were you very, were you whenthat was happening to you?
That was like your prime time onstories, for Instagram.
So did you ever share that withyour followers or was this just
a part of your life that youkept close my parents' divorce

(34:18):
happened when I was in college.
they separated in college andthe divorce was really nasty and
lasted like five years.
It was horrific.
That is something I've neveractually opened up and talked
about ever because there wasn'tthe platform of that then.
Okay.
So that didn't really occur whenlike all of these, like more
documenting heavy things were,that was something more on like

(34:39):
behind the scenes, I guess likein the early time, but me going
through an engagement and thenending that engagement and all
of that, that was in.
Prime growth of Instagram time.
'cause that was public.
Yes.
That proposal was published.
Yeah.
So you shared the proposal.
Yeah.
How soon after you shared theproposal did you wake up?
Um, Let's see.

(34:59):
We got engaged in December andwe ended it in the following
May.
So seven months.
Six, seven months.
Wow.
And but that was something whereafter that happened, like I
spiraled into a hole of needingto just like function every day,
nevermind try to work and stuff.
So I didn't really post onlinefor, I don't know, probably like

(35:21):
at least three to four months,but not really even fully till
the end of that year.
Wow.
And to Christina's point, likeif you're not showing up, if
you're not whatever, like you'renot growing.
And that was in an explosionphase of.
Instagram, it's like when thealgorithm was shifting, it was
when like LTK was coming, weremoving from blocks really big.
Yep.
Everything was really exploding.
And so I definitely missed outand halted my own growth in that

(35:43):
way.
And then to recover from notshowing up online, like it hurts
you on so many ways.
You don't have the numbers forbrands, you don't have the like
engagement with your audience.
You have to work back up andbuild that.
So like it had a compoundedeffect.
But to your point of like senseof self, and something that I've
always been so grounded in is Ido what is right and best for

(36:04):
me.
And at that time, don't careabout was for you the rest, and
not in a way where it's eh, Idon't care, but it was like,
this is what I have to do totake care of me and so I'm doing
it.
No, you do care.
You care about you not, yeah.
Like maybe the whole picture atthe time.
And that's why I was, I don'tcare about numbers and my
audience, it was like I have tofigure out how I'm gonna
function every day and put allmy life back together.

(36:26):
All of that.
I think it was like, I can't dothat.
I also can't show up fake, Ican't show up and pretend to be
a certain way when I'm not.
And that's always been that way.
There's been many differentwaves of that have happened over
the last couple years.
Even right now, like I'm in thisbig transition phase of my life

(36:46):
and it's harder to show upbecause I can't just be like,
Hey guys, like this is theoutfit.
I'm just Nope, I've gotta goinward.
Yeah.
And that's what I do.
When I am going through likebigger things because I'm not
ready to talk about them rightaway, they do become part of my
content and journey and growthand I do share them.

(37:07):
But I usually have to processthem on my own a little bit
first, and that might be severalmonths or whatever, and then I'm
okay, I can now.
Yeah.
You can't necessarily share itall when you're in it.
Yeah.
Me and Marissa are very similarwith that.
Because we both go inward.
We both definitely.
Talk a lot to each otheroffline.
When we're both going throughthings, we've definitely helped

(37:27):
each other through differentseasons of our life.
But where I was gonna give you ahuge kind of plug that,'cause I
feel like we both do that right?
When we're having hard times Wego offline.
And I had talked about this likeon several podcasts about just
what Marissa said, how hard itis to come back from going dark
online.
It is very hard.
So hard.
Especially when it makes you notwant to but you need Yes.

(37:49):
Because you, your number.
I need to worse and youproductivity recover a lot of
the times.
But it's like that, there's likea gnawing feeling of you can't
or you know that there's gonnabe a lot of hell to pay.
For going dark.
Yeah.
It's like a repercussion.
Yes.
Repercussion.
But what I was gonna give you ahuge plug is because Yes, you.
You remove yourself when youneed to, when you're going

(38:11):
through hard times, but you alsogive yourself, I think, a lot
more space, even when you're ingood times, you have really good
boundaries with Instagram, withkind of showing up online.
You give yourself breaks.
Like you take breaks throughoutthe year and you take very
specific ones and you're veryintentional about them.

(38:31):
She goes very quiet usually theweek that you're in the summer
and, in August when you're inMaine with your family, usually
yes, you share some things, butit's not always real time and
it's nothing work related.
Nothing work related.
I'm not answering messages, I'mnot linking anything.
Like you're right.
You're it's very, you're usingsocial media like anyone else.

(38:51):
Anybody else, normal person.
Here's the beach here.
Yes.
Yes.
Like when you're feelinginspired, here's my lobster
roll.
But then you also take timeafter.
The holidays, you usually takelike almost two weeks.
Or it might even sometimes belike before.
Usually it's like the wholemonth of January before I'll
literally take off the wholemonth like, but even after, it's
like right after Christmas orright before, like you're gone

(39:13):
the 20th, like you are the 20on.
I'm like, bye everyone.
Do not talk to me.
I'll see you after the new year.
And so she takes time to resetherself.
Where.
I have not done that and I'm notlooking for praise for that.
I think that you need to giveyourself for, because I only
take your the time when I'm in acrisis and it's not okay to do
that.
No, it's not okay to never takea break and so I always thought

(39:36):
that it was really strong of youto know I am taking these
intentional breaks.
I don't care if that means thatI'm missing out on a campaign,
if it means I'm missing out onnumbers.
You know what you need to do.
For the health of yourselfmentally and physically before
you get to the point of abreakdown., I think that people

(39:56):
are used to me doing that.
So I'm not one of those peoplethat if I haven't posted for two
or three days, I get an inboxflooded with like, where are
you?
It's like my audience alreadyknows that I have an ebb and a
flow.
Yeah.
And I'm not, if I'm gone for oneday, it's normal.
And I think, yeah, that isreally healthy.
Like creators should be, I hatethe word creator, but I'm just
using it'cause it's general.

(40:17):
Yeah.
What word do you like?
We said professional life share.
I feel like you're a, like a.
Women's life enhancer.
Yeah.
Ooh, I like that.
You said that too.
Online, women's life enhancer.
But you said that, you said you,those are your words though.
Yeah.
You said you like to enhance thelives of women.
And maybe that was in your earlydays, like through the, outfit,
halls and tryon.

(40:37):
And then as you evolved and yourealized how wellness from the
inside out has been such anintegral part of your healing.
Yeah.
You started to just share thatto enhance lives of others.
For sure.
But yes, your audience does.
Yeah.
To your point, and that's whatyou were saying, they know.
Yeah.
That you take that time.
maybe not everybody, but some ofthem also got to the point where
I had that happen one time and Iwas like, I'm never doing this

(40:58):
again.
I was so disconnected frommyself that I didn't know what I
needed and when I needed It.
And when I really went inwardand made the biggest choice of
my life to walk away from myengagement, that set me on a
course of following the innervoice that I was always
abandoning.
And I don't think I abandoned itin a way where it was like
derailing my life, but it was inthe micro choices that led to

(41:20):
the macro things.
And so it led to me having toleave an engagement because I
was ignoring the little micromoments But when I left that and
I decided to listen to thatinner compass, it calibrated me
because it gave me a sense ofunderstanding that what I needed
was to listen to myself.

(41:42):
And so I did that and I took thetime away.
I came back and I was like,okay, my audience is still here.
Yes, maybe the numbers aren'tthere, but I grew it back.
I was not sufferingprofessionally by any means for
it.
my business was still growingand I realized that okay, I can
listen to what I need and I canstill be successful in my career

(42:05):
path, because I'm listening towhat I need.
I'm not sacrificing myself.
I'm not sacrificing my likemental health or my wellbeing or
even my brand to be somethingthat it isn't like this is, that
is the benefit I think of whatwe do because like I can craft
that brand, but my brand iscrafted around.
Again, me and this is my brandand this is how I show up.

(42:29):
And I'm very strict with that.
Like I keep the boundaries onthat and protect it because I
know it's what's best for me tobe able to function like a good,
normal, healthy human and notfeel like a psycho or that I'm
going to hit six months and thenburnout.
Like I didn't wanna be in thatcycle.
So I'm like if I can build inthese micro moments or even a

(42:50):
day where I'm just like, I can'tdo this today.
I can't show up online today, orI need this today, or whatever.
I can do that and not feel theguilt in it.
And also know that my audienceis there and the people that
wanna be there, the people thatare invested in being there,
they're there.
Like I just took, again, sevenmonths off when I went through
like a horrific thing with myback and had surgery and had to

(43:13):
recover But when I was in thethick of it and couldn't get off
my couch every day I am like, Ican't share online about
anything.
and how much can I sit here andtalk about I'm in pain again.
And that was the process of,again, going inward.
And I was like, I'm not working.
And I didn't post for six orseven months, and I came back in
one of the busiest months of theyear.
It was July of last year, so2024, there's Nordstrom sale,

(43:37):
there's Amazon Prime.
It's basically like Christmas inJuly.
Like literally.
it was like nothing skipped abeat.
my audience was there.
I had an insane month, like thebest month I had all year.
And I was like, yeah, okay butagain, what is that?
It's like I'm honoring what Ineed and the universe sees that
and it's going to send it back.
You're not fighting against thecurrent.

(43:57):
And I'm not forcing somethingthat isn't there because if I
hadn't done that.
And I had pushed through all thethings that I needed to tend to
and try to still share and takeon stuff like in the process of
all of that pain and just likethe mental load it took and the
nervous system dysregulation.
Yeah.
And then I had surgery and thenjust tried to power through that

(44:18):
and then show up in July.
I definitely would not have hadthe month that I had.
I would, it would've been like,I'm so burnt out by now, I can't
even do it.
'cause you can't heal whenyou're in the middle of chaos.
Yeah.
And you're not allowingyourself, and we talked so much
during this point becauseMarissa was actually going
through.
You're back surgery.
And I was going through mysecond postpartum experience and

(44:41):
I was lost.
And having a really hard time.
It was actually one of thepoints of my life that inspired
this podcast.
It was when we were having ahard time, we were both going
through a lot individually.
It sounds like all of us weregoing through it all last
summer.
And we spoke so much about Thatand that we always said,'cause
you would always say, take astep back, you're in the middle

(45:03):
of chaos and you're not gonnasee anything.
You're not giving yourself achance to breathe.
I remember you saying thosethings to me.
You need to slow down.
You can't show up.
You don't even know what's goingon.
Like you need to give yourself abeat.
And you've always done that.
So now I've been on the otherside where I could say, okay,
now I know the breaking point.
When you need to take a beat andyou need to say, hold on, I need

(45:25):
to get my bearings.
I need to, I know I need to comeup for fresh air.
But in order to sometimes dothat, you have to stop.
You have to stop.
Christina has been sharing that.
She's been thinking about takinga little bit of a step away.
She shared it on our podcast afew weeks ago.
She shared a fourth of the pie,right?
What do you think about that?
Because she feels like she'sBurnt out going against the

(45:46):
current.
And she's burnt out becausemaybe Chris, you are
rediscovering yourself.
Like your brand is ChristinaTishi, and you're still trying
to figure out okay, who is thisnew Christina Tishi?
Is she Christina Tishi, the mom?
Is she Christina Tishi, likelover of life and travel and
food and excitement and Rajait's and how do I blend this
whole thing together?
And while doing that, sharingand inspiring other women.

(46:09):
Yes.
Yeah.
Yep.
We, she's heard me.
We've have, we have our, so I'mjust curious, like somebody who
had to take a couple steps back,it sounds in order to get your
personal life and you feelinghealthy again.
What do you think about her?
I think that's a good question.
'cause I think that's goodquestion anybody's, I curious
think also, like all of ourages, I don't wanna age you, but
Christina and I are near 40 andI know you're in your mid

(46:32):
thirties, so I'm not gonna tryto lump you in with us.
But I think whether you're amom, whether you're just in this
age, I do think that this islike a very common thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like where you're just, there'sa lot going on and people can
come to different points oftheir life where Yeah.
Maybe it's a little midlife ishwhere you're just like, there's
a lot of crossroads, right?
And so I guess you can speak tome because you know my story

(46:56):
Yeah.
And all the things.
But if you were a friend sittingacross from someone and they're
just like, i'm not happy with myjob.
I don't know what to do rightnow.
I don't, I, you are one of mydearest friends that I go to for
things, even though we are invery different parts of our
life.
Yeah.
And we can't relate on likecertain things.

(47:16):
We still speak to each otherwith a lot of respect.
And so if guess and I think wehave always found a way to, I'll
answer your question.
Yeah.
I'll answer this.
I think we've always found a wayto relate to one another, even
though we're in very differentplaces.
Like obviously Christina ismarried and has been for a long
time and has two kids, and I'mnot married and have no kids,

(47:37):
but.
Like last year, to your point,we were saying earlier that we
were both going through thislike very crazy crisis time.
Like the reason of why we wereboth going through it was very
different.
Mm-hmm.
You know, Christina was dealingwith postpartum and emotions and
depression and the kids andwho's in her house and in and
out and all these thingshappening.

(47:59):
And then I'm dealing with a veryintense physical thing and pain
and whatever.
But what we realized, I rememberthe exact day, I remember where
I was, we were voice noting backand forth and that's our lovely
10 minute like voice notes.
Literally Christine and I willvoice note too.
Yes.
And Christina and I on 10 minuteones.
Yes.
Back and forth.
I'm aware of Christina.
My voice notes are like 34seconds.

(48:19):
Yes.
And Christina's 34 minutes.
Ours are always long.
They're long-winded.
But I remember exactly where Iwas in my apartment at the time
and we were having thisconversation and literally what
we kept saying was, that'sexactly how I feel.
Yes.
That's exactly what I'm goingthrough.
our situations were sodifferent, but the root of what
we were going through was thesame.

(48:40):
And what was that route?
It was the nervous systemdysregulation.
We were both so overwhelmed withwhat was going on.
Of course, we're talking aboutour job.
We have somebody coming on hereto talk about nervous system
ship, actually.
I love, I'm all about that.
That's like my biggest thingright now.
But like our jobs were, what wewere dealing with and struggling
with Christina's, like, how do Ishow up?
I was like, stop, just stopshowing up.

(49:00):
Because I wasn't, and I'm like,Christina, that was the first
thing that had to go for me, sowe've realized, that's another
thing of why our friendship hasgrown and stayed.
For so long because we've alwaysbeen going through different
things, but also realize howsimilar they are.
And when you take a step backand you're not so lost or

(49:22):
clouded in your own shit.
Yep.
You can see other people.
And what they're going through,and then you can be vulnerable
together.
Yeah.
And that's where connectionhappens.
And that's where friendshipactually deepens birth.
Sure.
That was a hundred percent.
And I think that it would alwaysbother me, when you're like, oh,
I don't know what this person isgoing through.

(49:42):
And it's yes and no.
But we'll never know whatanother person's going through
because even you're a mom andyou're a mom, but what you
experience as moms is stillmaybe similar, but like the
exact situations are different.
They're never gonna happen.
You're never gonna have thesame, you're never like, oh, I
understand totally what that is,but like maybe how it's
affecting you or the feelings orall of those things like are

(50:02):
right inside, like for me as amother.
I have four kids.
What was bothering me at thetime was not necessarily like my
children, it was just theconstant, like I felt like
things were just happeningaround me that I couldn't
control.
Yeah.
And it put my body in completedysregulation.
Yeah.
You don't need to know what'sgoing on with everybody.

(50:24):
It's not my business.
I don't wanna know.
I wanna know what's going onwith my close friends.
I'm gonna pull at them to sharewith me and get it out of them
when they're in something.
But I don't need to know what'sgoing on with everybody.
But I think if you can just havea baseline empathy for other
women, that different things aregonna hit them harder and
they're gonna becomedysregulated.
And maybe if you see them out ata social situation and they

(50:44):
don't wanna talk to you, theywanna look at you pro, maybe
it's not even you.
It might just be like the wholesituation.
I love that topic becauseChristina and I have talked
about this too, where we'relike, why can't people be
friends with people that are ina different phase of life?
And I think that's really theroot issue is they're not
willing to like step outside ofthemself and then see the other
person and then also.

(51:05):
Relate in that way.
I can't tell you how many peoplehave said oh, you and Marissa
are still like so close.
Like, how, and that's theproblem right there.
Why?
Because we're in differentchapters, if you wanna call it,
or different phases.
We don't even like that.
'cause we always say that's nota better friend.
Because when you're sointertwined with somebody's
life, they live in your town,you drive the same kind of car.

(51:26):
You all your kids go to the sameschool.
You go to the same places,that's nice, but there's no
excitement in that.
You're all sharing the sameexperiences over and over again.
It's less of an exchange toshare.
It's, there's less time.
I think it's less growth.
I think like the friendship thatI have with ut obviously we've
gone, we've been able to reallybuild on ourselves.

(51:49):
Sure.
It's also because it's the samesort of thing that me and
Marissa have been able to sharewith each other.
When you break the walls downand you stop with the comparison
and the bullshit and all of thestuff that clouds and you really
like, look at each other's soulsand hearts and what that person
stands for and what they, whatyou can use from them to grow.

(52:12):
I think that you end up with themost beautiful friendships that
way.
And you stop looking at all thesurface level things.
even for our sort of friendship,I can't even imagine what it
looks like from the outside whenyou have two people who do the
same exact thing.
And who are around the same ageand who, we look different.
We're like brunette and blonde,but, it's I feel like it's, we

(52:35):
dress similarly and there's justall these similarities.
And you can totally look atpeople like that and just pit
them against each other.
Yeah.
And there are online trolls thatdo that to us.
But we just don't, we wouldnever let it get that way.
Yeah.
Because it's not, I thinkhonestly it's rampant amongst
women because most women, I'mjust gonna call it like it is,

(52:56):
They're disconnected fromthemself and they don't know who
they are.
They don't have an identity as asingle human being.
I'm not saying single, likemarital status, I'm saying like,
as an individual human.
They don't have an identity.
I actually did an episode on mypodcast about this, a couple
weeks ago.
It's probably like my third orfourth episode.
And it's about identity versusroles.

(53:17):
And most people are so lost inidentifying themself with their
role in life that they don'thave an identity for who they
are.
And that I truly believe iswhere most of the conflict comes
in, whether it's relationship,friendship, whatever.
But all the things that you justsaid, for example, about like in
your town, in your, you know,friend circle at the soccer

(53:40):
game, in the carpool, all ofthose things are not who you
are.
No.
They are roles that you play.
and they fall under the role ofmom.
Yes.
Mom is not an identity.
Mom is not my name.
My name is Christina Bon Tempo.
That is just one, pillar of mylife.
Yes.
And when.
I think most people like intoday's world or maybe who may

(54:00):
be sitting on the outsidelooking at us, like they're
looking at the roles that weplay in our life and they're
like, how does that work?
How do they connect?
'Cause they connect with otherpeople based on roles.
I personally have made it mymission always to not connect
with somebody based on theirrole, but to connect with them
with who they are as a person.
And when you do that, there isdepth there because you're both

(54:22):
grounded in who you are.
And that's your connectionpoint.
And it's not a connection pointbased on, oh, we're friends
'cause we're on the soccer fieldevery weekend to together.
So Christina and I have alwaysconnected because our,
identities, like who we are, wehaven't allowed our roles in
life to define our friendship.
We had a conversation about thisa couple weeks ago where we've
seen like friendships in ourlife over the years shift so

(54:46):
much.
And it's we are friends withpeople by default sometimes
because of the role that theyplayed.
Oh, we were in the same class incollege, or we were roommates in
college, or we went to, they hadthe same job out of college or
our kids.
They were placed in your life.
Yes.
Where you guys have bothcollectively decided to place
each other in your lives andkeep them there.

(55:06):
And we don't define ourfriendship based on the role
that we play.
I guess circling all the wayback to your question before of
what do I think, like I knowthat if Christina goes and does
like a totally different careerpath, it has like literally
nothing, zero weight on ourfriendship because our
friendship isn't defined by likeour roles, if you will, as like
influencers and creators.
And, but how do you, but what doyou think about her?

(55:29):
Yeah.
Like not involving you, but whatdo you think like her,
Christina?
About taking a step back or apause and just even exploring
that thought.
Yeah.
I think it's the best thing andit's probably something that
I've said so much.
Take a step back, stop.
Just stop.
Because you can't forcesomething that isn't there.
You can't make it happen.

(55:49):
And also there's no shame ingrowing into a different place
in your life and wantingsomething different.
I always say, if you're in thesame place that you were five
years ago, there's a problem.
Like you, you should be growingand evolving and changing.
And if who you are as a personhas grown and evolved and

(56:10):
changed to where you no longeralign with the external role
that you're playing, then changeit.
There's beauty in that becauseit's a testament to your growth.
It's a testament to where you'vecome and how far you've come in
life.
And also it shows that you'reconnected to yourself because
you're able to identify, Hey,this doesn't feel right for me

(56:31):
anymore.
This doesn't bring me joy, thisdoesn't bring me happiness.
And when you are constantlypushing against something that
isn't for you, that's where youfeel.
Burnt out, uncreative,disconnected, disoriented, all
these things.
I know.
This is what, that's why we endup having, literally, we spent,

(56:51):
I think I talked about this onthe podcast.
we spent an entire day together.
Yeah.
We had it, I think it consistedof two, like three to four hour
meals.
Meals, yeah.
In the same day.
Yeah.
But usually when we're together,we have literally a four hour
lunch.
Yeah.
It's there's just no stoppingus, no.
Our conversations.
And they're very deep andthey're not, catty and we're not
sitting there talking shit aboutother people.

(57:13):
We're literally doing all ofthis, like growth and sharing on
such deep levels and Yeah.
That's why I've always just beenI think inspired by you, but I
it's, I'm inspired by my abilityto have a friendship like this,
yeah.
it just feels so good.
And that's what.
Friendship should ultimately be?
You have to be selective withyour circle.

(57:33):
If you're deeply connected, youdon't even need to go to
surface, nevermind bring otherpeople into the conversation.
Surface doesn't do it for you.
And that's what gossip is.
If you're not connected withsomebody, you're gonna end up
talking about other people.
But if you're so invested inwhat the other person has to
stay and then they ask you aquestion and you exchange, why
even bring others into it?
It's so true.

(57:53):
You talked about micro changes.
The micro things.
If you micro things I was usingan example of ignoring, the
little micro things and then itturns into a huge thing, right?
Where you have a macro crashout, can you,'cause I always
love a takeaway and I realizethat unfortunately.
There is no hack.
Yes, we always say that thereare hacks, but really there's

(58:15):
not.
But what are some micro changesthat you've made in your life
that you feel have led you heretoday?
Yeah.
That's a great question.
Do you, yeah, it is really goodquestion.
And it's probably more so it'sprobably more on the health,
maybe on the health wellness,and wellness journey.
And then you also tease that,like right now you're also at
another pivot in your life too.

(58:35):
Yeah.
Okay.
So Len, maybe I'll relate it towhere exactly where I'm at right
now.
Yeah.
So for example, the micro growththings, like I have been
obviously going back and forthfrom Florida for five years now,
and that seems okay, thisamazing, cool lifestyle like
flying back and forth and youhave a house in a beach town and

(58:57):
a house in Connecticut and allthis stuff, but there's so much
unseen stuff that layers up withthat, sure.
Number one, I am.
Just a single woman, like it'sme managing two homes.
And I like think about themanagement of one home,
nevermind two.
And I'm doing that alone.
And I think part of my ownhealing journey has been moving

(59:20):
out of this kind of like bossbabe, using so much of my
masculine type of energy andreally moving into more of a
feminine energy and expressionand what that is.
And that is receiving andresponding and masculine is
doing and doing, and I'm movingout of that.
And so the life that I haveright now doesn't really feel

(59:41):
aligned with where I'm atanymore.
Thankfully.
also had a man come into my lifewho is very much in his
masculine and who is in thatrole.
And so it's been.
Very natural progression for meto move more into a feminine
role, but I don't have thathere.
And accept that masculinity.
Yes.
Because I touched on it.
Have a partnership.
Yeah.
You touched on it also.
You've been taking care ofyourself for a very long time.

(01:00:03):
Long time.
And I think that you havefinally allowed someone else to
come in and start taking care ofyou.
Yeah.
And instead of looking at thatas a negative of yes I can't do
it, you're not saying that youcan't do it, you're saying that
Yes.
You're, you don't have to alwaysdo it.
Yes.
And you're gonna take a littlebit of a passenger princess
approach right now.

(01:00:24):
Yeah.
And just, and be, and justcomplimentary to your lifestyle.
It's nice.
That could come across verycontroversial, but sometimes,
especially when you're alwaysthe doer, the type A driven,
it's cause for burnout.
And sometimes when you have theseason that just allows you to
just step back.
Yeah.
You're allowing, it's to havesomebody else choose the

(01:00:45):
restaurant for it's yes.
Yeah.
And we met, I'm gonna share thestory of like how we met and
that whole thing on my podcast.
Soon he's gonna come on and be aguest.
Yay.
But when we met, I was in the, Iwas right before everything with
my back started.
And honestly, when I look backat the timing of things I see he
came into my life and three,four months into knowing each

(01:01:05):
other.
And then everything happenedwith my back.
And it was at first it wasn't asextreme as it was.
And then two months into it Iwas like, oh my God, I can't
even walk.
But I see where I literallybecame immobile.
Then had a man coming into mylife who was right there and
ready to just step into beingthere for me, supporting me,

(01:01:27):
taking care of me, going todoctor's appointments, whatever.
Like it allowed me to put torest that masculine.
Doing.
And he stepped in and did it.
But to be honest, like if thatprocess didn't happen, I don't
know if I would've ever justrelinquished that quote unquote
role because it was somethingthat I was so used to being in.

(01:01:48):
Yeah.
Like you would've fought it atone point.
Yeah.
and it was like I had to be likeunable to do anything and allow
him to do and then just receiveas a woman, we receive from the
man, like receiving that.
And like I look at that and Isee that now and I see also why
we've created such a strongfoundation and how it's

(01:02:08):
contributed to where we're atnow.
Don't get me wrong, I still comego in and out of that role of
just oh, duh.
And he's babe, I got it.
And I'm like, oh yeah, you'reright.
but right now, transitioninglike my life out of going back
to your question of like wheredo I feel this misalignment
right now because I have thislife that I've created, but now
I have a life with someone elsethat we are creating and that

(01:02:31):
life that I had before doesn'treally align.
And I'm feeling that deeplyright now, being back in
Connecticut and being in a homewhere like I'm doing and taking
care of and all these thingsthat like I'm not doing in
Florida, like because there's aman there and it feels
dysregulating on a very deeplevel for me.

(01:02:54):
It's almost triggering where I'mconstantly feeling like I'm in
fight or flight or feelingparalyzed all of these things.
And to your point, these are themicro things that I'm like
pinging off constantly and Ihave to pay attention to.
And so I'm like, okay before Ihave a full blown burnout and
crash out, which I've almost hitlike multiple times, I am making

(01:03:15):
choices that are aligning withthe life that I wanna create.
Because I don't wanna hit apoint where I'm like having a
full blown mental breakdown overwhat my life is when I have the
power to change it.
With small choices thatultimately lead to big ones.
Yeah.
But big choice would be, yeah.
Potentially moving out ofConnecticut, which is what that
choice is.
And I think that as it's, that'snot just like a micro choice.

(01:03:37):
That's it.
It is.
But it's a big one.
It's a big one.
But I think as your friend, Ithink that it's, you need to let
that go.
And we've talked about this likeit's.
It's, I don't wanna say holdingyou back, but it's, but it is,
it's holding you back in ways.
Yeah.
But it's not allowing you toreally plant yourself and root

(01:03:58):
yourself where you want to beand like be able to take those
next steps.
And I also think that where I'veseen growth with you is that you
would've held on as long as youcould To both properties as like
a badge of honor.
Like I have Both of theseplaces.
And this is because I'm a doerand I, this is it's symbolic of

(01:04:19):
my hard work and that I can takecare of myself.
And you don't need to do that.
You don't, you have nothing toprove anymore.
A hundred percent.
And you have more self worth.
Yes.
Yeah.
And you wanna be lighter andbrighter in Florida.
Yeah.
Less is more.
Exactly.
That's our mantra.
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
That's where I've come home thissummer, the last two months that

(01:04:39):
I've been here.
I came home with the intentionknowing like this is my last
summer there, like in that homeand enjoying it and trying to be
present, but also at the sametime came home and like I've
really struggled with all of itbecause I feel like I'm going
backwards.
I'm going back to a place thatI've grown out of to where me

(01:05:02):
being in my own home feels likean out-of-body experience
because I'm so far past whatthat was.
It represented a time in my lifethat I've grown and blown past
so much right now.
And so being there is hardbecause of that.
You have to remember, you leftthere because you needed a break
from it.
Yeah.
In the winter.
Not everybody needs a break fromtheir home in the winter.

(01:05:22):
Yeah.
You did.
Yeah.
But at the same time, like I.
Think while I've struggled thelast two months with being
there, it's also been anopportunity, one to put into
practice the growth that I'vegone through.
And being like, okay, I canactually reframe my reality.
I can create the reality that Iwant, which I'm going to and am

(01:05:43):
doing.
But also having an experience ofcoming back and realizing how
misaligned something is only atestament to your own growth.
Yeah.
And so I've been able to witnessthat and be like, you don't
realize it sometimes when you'rein it, but then when you can
actually experience it, like Iam coming into this and being
like, whoa, I'm so disconnected.
I'm disconnected because I'vegrown past it.

(01:06:05):
you're not going backwards.
It's a representation thatyou've gone forward.
It's like trying on, and it'slike a testament to me, that
don't fit you.
They don't serve that part ofyour life anymore.
And you're just like, instead ofholding onto it, I have to let
it go.
Go and embrace this.
Yeah.
And I can witness my own growthin that.
And I think that's the onlyreason that I came back to have
this summer experience that I'vehad to be able to see where I've

(01:06:27):
grown the last five, especiallyfive years of my life.
Yeah.
It's almost like I needed it tobe able to sit back and be like,
wow, good job, Mar.
Like I can look at it and saythat's the accomplishment I
wanna have.
I don't wanna have, oh, anotherhouse, oh, another this, another
that.
I wanna be able to be like, wow,I really grew that much.

(01:06:48):
Like who I am as a person isdifferent and I don't need all
the outward things to affirmthat.
And it's okay to close thatseason.
Yeah, it is.
Because also it's like I wannacreate something new and
something different.
And letting that go allows me tomove all of my time, energy,
finances in a differentdirection and create and

(01:07:09):
continue creating, the life thatI want.
Like I created that life ofhaving the two homes and going
back and forth and that was whatI wanted.
And it serves such a beautifulpurpose at the time, but it's
run its course and I can takethat and move it into something
else Similar, like with yourcareer, how I said it's followed
you and you haven't chased it.
Like same thing now with thiswhole situation, you're not

(01:07:29):
gonna be chasing down a homebecause you know you're from
Connecticut and you bought thathome by yourself on your own.
You cleaned the pool, you werethe handyman, you were all this
stuff.
Wow.
So there it's like breakingnews.
I feel like.
I knew that I touched on it likein a episode.
The second to last episode.
Yeah, it was a recent one.
It's currently live and likedelved into it.
And I've been talking about thatlike with my family and friends

(01:07:51):
and stuff, and like people,everyone ask, we know it's
coming, but most people arelike, oh, I felt like you were
gonna say that.
For sure.
As much as I'll miss you beinghere all the time.
I know, but I know.
You'll always be a Connecticutgirl.
Yeah.
There'll always be something.
And I think I will come back in,rent a house in the summer and
all that.
Yeah.
But that's like stuff I'm noteven, yeah.
I'm thinking about, but not yet.
It's down the line things.
So the last question I wanna askyou Okay.

(01:08:13):
Is.
What are you doing now thatyou're incorporating into your
health regimen?
Because I know you were on thepodcast with Holistic Health
Code Yeah.
A couple months ago.
And Christina and I loved thatpodcast.
Thank you.
Yeah.
We thought at that point, Idon't think you'd launched your
podcast yet.
I haven't.
Or maybe you had maybe I'm sureyou've been like talking about,
thinking about it, but youhadn't launched your podcast.

(01:08:33):
Yeah.
But I thought at the time like,oh my God, she would be like the
most amazing podcaster thanks.
But I'm, I was so intrigued byyour what you shared on that
episode about what you've beendoing with your health journey.
Yeah.
And I wanted you just to share alittle bit of that with our
listeners.
So My Health the last year haslooked a lot like rehabbing my

(01:08:54):
body and gaining strength backbecause I quite literally lost
like all of it, especially onthe right side of my body where
it was in pain.
To the point where like mynerves weren't even firing to
the muscle for it to actuallymove.
So you had back surgery?
Yeah.
Okay.
The back surgery is not reallywhat caused that.
It was all of the ninepreliminary, like pre months
before that.
my nerves were so damaged thatthey weren't even firing to go

(01:09:17):
to the muscle, which I'm stilldealing with now.
Like it's not a hundred percent.
It's definitely something likethat's why I'm working so hard
to strengthen my body.
at the turn of this year,because the last six months of
last year after my surgery, likeI really felt like I was in such
a fog.
I was trying to reintegrate intolike normal life and just daily
stuff.
Like going to target for errandswould absolutely exhaust me.

(01:09:38):
'cause I hadn't done anythingfor nine months, so I was just
reintegrating back into gettinga life.
And then at the turn of the yearI was like, okay, I'm getting
active again.
I need to start like buildingstrength and my muscle.
Working on like strengthening mybody literally, because I don't
ever wanna go backwards withthat.
And I have to stay active withthe way that like my body and

(01:09:59):
back is.
So I walk pretty much five tomaybe seven times a week, like
depending on the, whatever myschedule is.
But I walk like at least threemiles a day.
And then I strength train andadd that right now I'm doing
about three to four times aweek.
And then I'll do Pilatesprobably one to two times a

(01:10:19):
week.
So it's a mix of everything, butthe Pilates is really good for
like my back and all of those,like micro muscles.
And then I'm strength training,not like crazy heavy, like back
squats and stuff, but just likeusing weights.
so you are using gentle movementas medicine sounds like?
Yeah, in different capacities,but also pushing myself to where
it's like I'm not comfortablenecessarily in my movement.

(01:10:41):
Like I am challenging myselfbecause I have to build it back.
You're rehabbing standpoint,right?
You're rehabbing.
So you have to improve.
So that would be the main thingthat I'm doing.
And then from like a nutrition,standpoint, I eat super high
protein to support the muscleand kind of recovery that I'm
building.
I don't do sugar, I don't dogluten, so I'm eating a lot of
super high protein, a lot ofberries, Greek yogurt, honey,

(01:11:04):
and just like whole nutritiousfoods, sweet potato, broccoli.
Like I'm eating very whole andnutritious to fuel my body for
all of the like work and likebuilding that I'm doing with it.
And then, from a kind of likemental emotional standpoint.
I feel like that was the kind ofthe area that was sacrificed in

(01:11:24):
that whole process because I wasfocusing so much on like my
physical movement and like beingdisciplined with my eating to
fuel my body.
Whereas the past two years, evenwhen I was going through my back
stuff, my mental emotional waslike forefront.
Like I had all the time in theworld to be meditating and
journaling and listening to likeherz music and like all of that
stuff.

(01:11:45):
And so I realized coming homethis summer and feeling so
discombobulated and disconnectedhow much I need to be grounded
and get in tune with myselfevery day and returning to a
practice of, even if it's daily,just like being in my journal

(01:12:05):
and having five minutes, youdon't need an hour to sit down.
It can be five minutes whereyou're scribbling down like.
One sentence, I feel, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah.
And like a little bit of a braindump or an offload.
I realized how much I had gottenaway from that when I was paying
so much attention to my physicalother things.
And needed to return to that.

(01:12:26):
And so that's been somethingthat I've been more intentional
with the last couple of weeksthat's been so again, micro
moment things that arecontributing to the overall
health of everything.
And I think that's one thing Iwill say with health stuff is
people make it this big all ornothing thing.
And you don't need to do that.
It just needs to be somethingthat's commitment to the growth.

(01:12:49):
You're not gonna sit down thefirst day, you like meditate and
do an hour meditation.
You might get through 10 secondsand that's okay.
Like it's about the doing andthe next day it's 15 seconds and
then it's 30, and then you keepgoing.
I love that you like, took itback to the journaling, because
you said you were, you've beendoing it since five years old.
Yeah.
You started I know, right?
It's right.
And that's I literally have allmy journals, like I have a Box

(01:13:09):
in my attic that has stacks andstacks of journals that I can go
back, like years and yearsworth, outside of the online
journal, of the blog, I have.
So many books that I can go backto, including that one from when
I was five.
I love that.
Awesome.
No, I love that.
That was such a full circle.
Yeah.
I feel like this was such agreat conversation.
I know.

(01:13:30):
I feel like I can ask so manyquestions, but we'll have to get
you on the next time you're inConnecticut.
Or maybe we'll have to, we'llhave to take a work trip Downt
to Florida.
Yeah.
Come on down and do a littleNaples recording session.
But we're gonna close thisepisode with our favorite
segment of course, which is ourpink spotlight.
Pink spotlight.
Yay.
Which is a person place thing,mantra tip.

(01:13:51):
Anything that you do, and we'veobviously we're just talking
about things that you do Thathelp to make your life a little
bit better, but do you have apink spotlight for us to share?
Yeah, so I actually have two.
I thought about it beforehand.
Yes, of course.
Number one, the pants I'mwearing, I love them.
Okay.
They're the auria love lodgepair.
The lodge pants are elite, youguys.
I need to get them.

(01:14:11):
I love them.
I got the first pair in thespring and I would like wearing
them to death.
Then I got the linen ones in thesummer.
I have a couple colors in thoseand then now I'm like back
touring this like more cre headmaterial.
I like the creep, but they likedo not wrinkle.
They're so comfortable.
I wear them like as super casualoutfit or dressed up for
something.
Like we went to dinner the othernight and I had like heels and

(01:14:33):
like a cute drapey like halteredshirt.
I feel like that would look cutewith a top eye have on.
Yeah, a hundred percent.
I love that they come in amillion colors.
They're so comfortable.
Like they're literally my go-topan.
When I got my first pair in thespring, I was like, okay, I'm
gonna wear this all the time.
It feels like sweatpants, butit's not.
I know they're so elevated andit's best cost per wear item.
When you actually think abouthow many times you'll wear them

(01:14:55):
and like they, you can wearthose traveling, you can wear
and they're like you said, theydon't wrinkle.
They're not falling apart.
They're not falling apart.
I think they're Wilfred and thenthey're called the Lodge Pants.
I know I love them.
The Wilfred Lodge pan.
Yeah.
Okay.
Done.
Get them.
They're the best.
Yes.
I have a folder on my LTK pagewith all the ways I've worn
them, They're so nice.
But definitely the pants.
And then the second thing is mydaily walks.

(01:15:18):
I truly get like such a resetfrom that.
I feel like it's what calibratesme every day.
I get out of bed in the morning.
If I'm going to the gym, I'llwalk after.
Sometimes I'll just walk It'struly so good for you.
It's so beneficial for likemind, body, and soul.
And it's just like such arefreshing thing.
I understand.
Not everyone can do three milesor something, maybe like I do,

(01:15:41):
but like even go for a looparound your neighborhood.
Or down your driveway and back,it's really, I'm a big walker
too.
We love walking.
Yeah.
I think hot girls walk.
Honestly, we do sometimes likethe sometimes I do run, but when
I'm in a running season, it'susually because I'm like running
away from something.
Like when I'm walking I'm justlike thinking and reflecting and
just yes, it is.
It's, or venting with Christina,yeah.

(01:16:02):
And you can, I'm enjoyingmyself.
And exercise also that you canlike really do other things too.
So you can listen to something.
You can think, you can voice,text, you can do it's something
where it's time.
I feel like it's a twofer,right?
Yeah.
Like you can get other thingsdone with without scrolling.
Yeah.
So it gets you away fromscrolling your phone, but then
also like you're able tomultitask with walking.

(01:16:23):
And so I usually just feel.
So good after I walk.
And then I'll walk and then I'llbe like, why do I not do this
every single day?
Like sometimes scheduling justdoesn't allow for that, but I,
oh, I never regret it.
Never.
Like it's something that youjust are like, oh, that was so
nice and you feel so good after.
You take a walk, it's so goodfor you.
I love it.
And there's so much, if you're aperson that needs like numbers

(01:16:44):
and research and all that,there's so much on it that like,
people who walk at least a milea day, live 15 years longer, I
believe it.
Like stuff like cra crazy thingslike that sound crazy in today's
world because everyone's, it hasa profound impact on I Health.
No, that's a good one and that'sa good reminder.
What about you t?
Alright, so today was the firstday of school.
Oh know, I have four kids.
It was their day in the school.
Are they coming home any minute?

(01:17:06):
So any minute now the boys willbe home first and then the girls
will come home second.
And I.
Well, was dreading the summerback in June.
I was dreading the summer at thebeginning of the summer because
I was like, oh, I'm not greatwith like transitions and my
kids are gonna be home everyday.
And I won't get my alone time.
I won't get to do this.
And I had all of this like fear,like ruminating and I just let

(01:17:27):
the summer be and me and my kidshad the best summer.
I'm so happy that my husbandtoo.
I love that.
What do you feel like enabledyou to create that for you and
them have the best summer?
I didn't.
I didn't fight it.
I went with it.
I wasn't like, I don't get to goto my class.
I don't get to go to my dos.
I don't get to go.
I just embraced.
This summer.
And we did walks, we did bikerides.

(01:17:49):
Like it turns out like my kidsare at a different age.
They were able to.
Ride their bike across thestreet.
And play tennis.
Or they, like we just ended upenjoying time together.
You really embraced it thissummer?
Yeah.
I really enjoyed my time withthem this summer.
And I think like sometimes spacecreates more space.
So I was a mom who wanted tosign them up for camp and get
them away from me so I couldlike then have my time.

(01:18:09):
But what I realized was thenwhen I would do that and that
became the routine, then theywould be like, ha.
Yeah.
When they saw me and it would belike more chaotic then you even,
and more over-stimulating.
But for whatever reason it's hadto integrate them into the
thing.
let's all go on the bike ride.
Lets all go to Doms and everyonecan do whatever.
Like you integrate them into thethings, and then everyone's
happy.
And then from there you can popoff and, okay, you and your

(01:18:33):
brother can go over here and dothis, or you wanna go play
tennis for three hours, you cango do that.
So there was like.
Doses of us being apart, but weweren't all together.
Yeah.
So last year when I put them onthe bus for the first day of
school, I like skipped up thisdriveway.
like I was so happy.
I was like, thank God they'reall gone today.
I was like sad.
I'm a little like, God, this isso weird.

(01:18:53):
I've never felt like thisbefore.
This is what mothers feel likewhen they miss their kids.
Yeah, I am almost, I'm like, Idon't know.
Embarrassed to say I had neverreally had that moment.
'cause I'm like, oh my God,they're too much for me.
I can't handle that.
Go to school get outta here.
Yeah.
I love that.
I love loved your pink spot.
Thank God.
right?
Yeah.
You know of they're learning,they're growing, but.

(01:19:13):
I did miss them because theywere, I love that.
And I remember when we had theepisode where we were saying we
were ha, you were having alittle bit of some panic around
like the schedule change and itwas you just felt like you got
in a good groove and noweverything's changing and so
That's so nice to hear that.
I took them on vacation lastweek.
My husband came at the end ofthe week Uhhuh.
So it was just like me and themfor most of the week and it was

(01:19:35):
so nice.
Oh, I love, like they're gettingto be like so fun to Yeah.
Hang around the fun ages whereit's not like the trenches.
I love that too.
So anyways, that's my pinkspotlight.
Kids, I love.
Your mother doesn't always justtalk shit about you on podcast.
I know.
We love you Sometimes I say niceto, we love you Bon.
So mine, I've been chattingabout on my Instagram for the
last two weeks.

(01:19:55):
I won't shut up about it, but itis this collagen mask that I
ordered Yes.
Via Amazon.
So good.
And it is.
Worth the hype.
First of all, I have never hadso many clicks or sales on
something in 15 years of doingit.
I, you were gonna bring me one.
I should have, but I only, Ihave two left and I'm sorry I
can't part with them.
And I'm gonna add it to mysubscribe and save.

(01:20:16):
That's how much I love them sothat I don't run out it.
Okay.
But your skin is gorgeous.
But my, so my, these, this islike a collagen.
It's a sheet mask.
Yeah.
And you wear it overnight.
So I was a little intimidated bythat.
But it says for best results,you wear it overnight.
And it's, it comes in two parts,just like thinking of you like
two pieces.
In Raj.
Oh yeah.
I mean it's, luckily it's once aweek, so it's not like something

(01:20:39):
that you have to do every singleday.
Luckily for you or for Raj?
Luckily for both of us becauseit's not, it's honestly not that
I know.
What's gonna surprise me though,at this point, years 10,
marriage, been marriage.
We've been married, we've beentogether for 18 years.
My boyfriend and I have beendoing face masks together.
Sorry babe.
Calling you out.
I know.
Literally since like monththree, he I was doing a mask.
'cause I just I'm just myself.

(01:21:00):
I'm also, you don't like me.
I don't care.
Yeah.
He was like, can I that withyou?
Like also, thank you.
When my skin is glowing.
That's what I'm saying.
Like I'll wake up a youngerversion and guess what?
I'll be in a better mood'causemy skin is glowing and so you
should give me a nice kiss onthe lips.
And look at my scary face rightnow.
But I, it's like a two.
I like it because I've onlytried one that's one, the two is

(01:21:21):
better, which is claustrophobicwith your whole face.
It is also like really hard tonavigate it around.
And this one is in two pieces,so it's like top and bottom.
Yep.
And so it's easy to layer it andit says to wear it overnight.
It honestly, you have to let itdry for 20 minutes.
So normally it goes into my lastpink spotlight.
I will put it on once a week andthen I'll go lay in bed and read

(01:21:42):
for 15, 20 minutes.
And by that time it's like locksin so it's not going anywhere.
'cause I had a lot of questions.
People were like, we, is it likeslip off your face?
It doesn't though.
Yes.
And it doesn't slip.
It really doesn't go anywhere.
Slip, wake up when it's on.
Yep.
It's, it stays on and it likesets in and it still feels like
moist, but it doesn't, it's notslippery at that point.
Okay.
So it really doesn't take thatlong.
And then I literally fall asleepby the time I like roll over.

(01:22:06):
And I am a side sleeper.
It's good to go.
Like it's not going anywhere.
And then it dries, it goes onwhite and it dries completely
clear.
So in the morning it peels offin one piece.
Yeah.
And your skin is.
Like my skin is like bouncy whenI take it off.
It's like you can tell it's itactually hydrated.
Yeah.
Yes.
Like it's going down deep.
Yes.
And not just like on the surfaceand you're actually not left

(01:22:29):
with a lot.
It's not like afterwards, likeyour face feels like there's
anything on it.
It's just my skin feels dry.
So bouncy and so hydrated.
Like I get very dehydrated skin.
And so this has, this just, it'slike all of the lines.
Everything is so hydrated.
Yeah, I swear my under eyes lookless hollow.

(01:22:49):
Like it's just, it is amazing.
And so I've been doing it thelast couple of weeks.
I've been like, Sunday nightsare my thing and I am obsessed
with it.
So it comes in a pack of four.
So I'll put that link in theshow notes for it.
I wish I had a code, but I donot.
I'm gonna literally harass themto get a code because it is so
good.
But, so this is from Amazon?
This is from Amazon.

(01:23:10):
I ordered it from Amazon.
And you can, if you subscribeand save, you do save a little
bit.
It's called a, I think it'scalled BioD Dance or something.
They're BioD, like BioD DanceCollagen Master Sheet Master.
There's a few of them.
The ones that I have tried arethe pink ones, but I've heard
other, which is very fitting ofcourse.
Alright.
But there are a bunch ofdifferent other kinds, but I
think they, the, this one is thecollagen mask and that's

(01:23:31):
specific too.
All right, so I'm gettingcollagen masks.
Yes.
And Auria Lodge pins.
Love it.
Yeah.
Perfect.
And we will love to have youback on Mars.
You are just one of my favoritehumans in the world.
Please tune into Marissa'spodcast.
Can you tell to listen?
Curious?
Yeah.
Give us a little to find you.
Yeah.
Where are you at?
Okay, so I'm on Instagram stylecus.
Which might be changing soon.

(01:23:52):
Yeah.
And then my podcast is behindthe cusp, and it's a play on
words, but if you listen to myfirst episode, I delve into why.
But truthfully, the podcast as awhole is about transformation
and elevating women.
And I think most of the processthat I've gone through in my own
life is really what I want toencourage women in so that we

(01:24:12):
can all rise together.
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
Sam, thank you so much.
This was such a great one.
I know.
And a great conversation.
And we're just so lucky to haveyou in our lives.
Thank you.
And now our listeners have alittle piece of you too, so
thank you guys.
Guys.
I feel the same.
Thank you.
Love you.
We'll see you next week.
Bye.
Bye.

(01:24:59):
are we all caffeinated now?
Some days I just need a littlepep and I don't wanna have a
coffee.
'cause coffee just makes, it'sthat's how I drink matcha.
It's over the edge.
And I didn't drink.
Yes.
I didn't have mine this morning.
I do like matcha, but thensometimes in the afternoon.
Okay.
So I do hear me out Arbon, theyhave their greens and fizz and
the fizz has natural energy fromB five and something else.

(01:25:19):
Something.
And I've been drinking it for acouple months and it's so good.
In your water?
Or what is it?
Yeah, I just mix it up.
I do a packet of the greens anda packet of the fizz, but it's
has a fizziness to it and Iactually mix it with a seltzer,
so it's like more carbonated.
So it feels like you're drinkingsomething natural, grassy, like
whatever.
It actually tastes good.
I just need something aroundlike two o'clock, to give me

(01:25:42):
just a little that's when Idrink it.
Yeah.
You'll, I'll be at working andI'm like, okay, I need like a
boost and I drink that.
But I didn't have my matcha thismorning so I can feel it.
I'm like, you're have anycaffeine?
No, I didn't have anything.
I'd be dying.
I wouldn't be alive.
I can do it without it, but I'mlike.
I hit that I'm sitting down.
So now I'm like, no.
I went, I like, I think thishouse just will make you tired.

(01:26:04):
No, I quit.
I quit on again.
It's exhausting.
And I went back to coffeebecause I just, why?
Christina, you like the chipcoffee?
You like the brewed coffee?
Yes.
You like it?
It was, I love, I like love mycoffee too, but I cannot start
my day with it because I willliterally feel like I don't have
anxiety ever.
But if I drink coffee in themorning, I feel like I'm gonna

(01:26:25):
jump outta my skin.
Oh yeah.
I can't do it.
So I have to have matcha in themorning with food.
And if I want coffee, I'll haveit at 12, one, maybe two, then
I'm not.
Having a crash, then I won'tsleep.
But then I'm not going, I'mstill being able to go to bed at
night if I have it at three orfour or five in two late, so you
have one?
I have one.
That's it.
I do like matcha, like I lovethe taste of matcha.

(01:26:46):
It's just that it doesn't giveme enough.
I need a little bit something inthe morning.
Like I need the coffee in themorning, but I just have less,
so I have the coffee, it givesme a little bit of a jolt and
then, but then I think I havethe rest of the day to burn that
off.
But then I can have a matchalater, it's like the caffeine
level, so much lower.
So it's like I just need alittle it, like a matcha good to

(01:27:08):
get me through.
But then in the afternoon Ihaven't been wanting that taste.
Like I've been wanting bubbles.
That's what, like Chris.
Yeah.
So you need to try the fiststuff.
Did we?
I'll send you, I have a link for'em.
I'll send it.
You're like, i'm what's the dayin April from Miss Congeniality?
April 16th or whatever.
Yeah.
Not too hot.
Not too hot.
Not too hot.
Not too hot.
Too cold.
That's like a jacket.
That's like little annoying.

(01:27:28):
Princess Christina.
No, because I can You are, Ilike can't have.
If you were a date, you would beApril 16th.
I would be April 16th.
Okay.
Not too hot.
Not too hot.
You would not be not too cold?
No.
I'm dunno what I would such aJanuary 1st.
I know what I would be, it's notJuly.
I would definitely be a July.
July 1st July.
I would be a July.
August.
No, I like get hot, but with mybeverages I'm very like
specific, like with.

(01:27:51):
Like the temperature in my mouthneeds to be like, I'm very picky
with the temperature in mymouth.
Yeah, I get it.
I get it.
Angela's gonna die.

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