November 6, 2025 • 54 mins
Episode Description:
Somewhere between building careers, raising kids, and trying to stay human, a lot of us quietly lost our hobbies. The things we used to do just because we loved them slowly disappeared — replaced by productivity, parenting, and a to-do list that never quits.
This episode was inspired by a conversation with our friend and former guest, Lauren Roscoff, who shared how easy it is to pour all of your creativity into work and family and realize you don’t actually have hobbies anymore. And honestly… same.
We're talking about:
- Why hobbies disappear in motherhood
- How to figure out what actually brings you joy now
- Giving yourself permission to do things that aren’t “productive”
- Finding pockets of time for yourself (even in the nap-window era)
- How hobbies help us build friendships again
Think reading for fun, taking a pottery class, arranging flowers in your kitchen, dance lessons, tennis, journaling, painting — or even a 20-minute walk without your phone. If it brings you joy, it counts.
This is your gentle reminder that moms deserve play too, not just purpose.
💗 Pink Spotlight
Each week, we highlight a moment, product, or practice that’s bringing us joy:
Kristina:
A matching soft cash set from Gap that's equal parts cozy and polished. Think: you look like you're “running errands after Pilates,” even if you're really just answering emails on the couch and heating up leftovers. Elevated lounge forever.
Christina:
Letybo — a newer Botox — from Amanda, the owner of Magnolia Med Spa in Farmington, CT. Christina's been going to her for years, and Amanda always nails that “I slept last night” look without going frozen. It’s subtle, it’s fresh, it’s “yes I’m tired but I don’t need everyone to know I’m tired.” A tiny lift in the right direction… literally.
🌸 Things We Mentioned
- Former guest Lauren Roscopf (@aloprofile) — Today’s episode was inspired by a conversation with Lauren. You may remember her from Episode 18: “Motherhood, Loss & Life Online,” where she opened up about building @aloprofile after leaving her 9–5, navigating motherhood and entrepreneurship, and the loss she experienced between her two children. She shared so honestly about finding your identity again in the chaos of mom life and online life — and that vulnerability sparked today’s chat about rediscovering hobbies and joy in this season.
Hey PIPAS! Send us a text for episode feedback, ideas, and questions!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm Christina and I'm t And thisis the Pretty and Pink again
podcast where motherhood meetsrediscovery.
Hi.
Hi.
How are you?
How's daylight savings treatingyou?
(00:21):
I feel like we're fine.
We're past it.
You're okay?
Yeah, we're past it.
I have older kids.
Yeah.
So you're not in, you're not init.
No, we're actually, we are notin it.
Actually, this is, this wasn'tas bad.
I was telling you.
Like it wasn't as terrible as Ithought it was going to be.
It's just there's a little bitof extra crankiness just around
the times that they're going togo to nap and then going to go
(00:43):
down for bedtime, it just feelslike they're really hanging in
there, yeah.
But it really wasn't too badoverall, but I'm exhausted.
It's hitting me.
Is that any different than lastSunday?
Or is there, I'm always tired,but I don't know, I was thinking
about it and I was like we had25 hours yesterday, it was a 25
hour day, like 24 isn't enough,yeah.
(01:04):
So it, I felt like it was a 25hour day yesterday.
Yeah.
And it's always on like theSunday and we're with the kids,
so it just, it's wow.
It's like Sunday after Halloweenfelt extra hour.
You really felt it.
And it's funny, when I talked tomy mom yesterday, she was like,
we caught up on our hour sleep.
And I was like, wrong audience.
We did not.
(01:25):
I'm like, we did not.
That's so funny.
Must be nice because we, oh mygosh.
No, we did not.
We slept.
So Friday we were together.
We had Halloween together.
Yes.
I know we had Halloween.
Which guy?
Your kids are so freaking cute.
Yours are so cute.
Yours.
They're just so cute.
There's just something sospecial about little kids.
Like your kids are just solittle came.
I know.
But even the girls are to the.
Rang the doorbell.
Halloween is so overwhelming.
(01:45):
It is like you, you dress up insomething else.
Yep.
You go to somebody's house.
Yep.
Where your parents are alwaystelling you like, don't ask for
anything.
Don't invite yourself in.
And then you break all therules.
You go to a stranger's house,you knock on their door, you ask
for candy.
Yep.
It's just so confusing.
I know.
And it was cute'cause we broughtthe kids to tease and we
practiced one time at our house,like where we had them ring the
(02:07):
doorbell and they stood thereand said, trick or treat, Leo
said, trick or treat.
But then.
When we came to tease, it wasonly the second time that they
did it and they were both toonervous to actually do it.
Also, so they stood behind meand we did it.
My kids could not wait for themto arrive.
Yeah.
Like they were waiting at thedoor with baited breath.
Like I know.
Waiting and waiting.
I'm like, don't open the door.
(02:27):
You have to wait till they, nah,it was so cute.
So we took my two little onesand then your two littlest ones.
Yeah.
And we all went on the golfcart.
Yeah.
And all the parents and the fourkids went trick-or-treating.
It was so cute.
We did a couple houses in theneighborhood before my kids
tapped out.
They were like, okay.
Enough done.
But it was so cute.
(02:48):
It really cute.
Was really cute.
Was did we have a video of Leoand camila and Ava, I, that
cute.
Running to a house.
Like they took him like holdinghis hand and they were running,
he was nervous.
He was nervous running acrossthe driveway, like to front
door.
And I got very like.
Sentimental about it.
'cause I was like, this is theirchildhood.
And this was, it was just like avery cute moment.
(03:10):
I think.
I'll always remember it.
It was very sweet.
It was very cute.
It was very sweet.
I actually made the girls writethank you cards Oh.
To some of the neighbors becausethey, there's not a lot of trick
or treaters in ourneighborhoods.
So they basically do it for likemy kids.
Your kids, maybe like a coupleother kids in the neighborhood.
Yep.
And they give out not onlyfull-sized candy bars, like
jumbo sized candy bars.
(03:31):
The biggest one.
I didn't even know.
They make them that big.
Yeah.
And they're happy to do it.
They're like, oh my God, yourkids are so cute.
Because they only get a few.
So they're like, if we're gonnahave a few, they're not giving
the minis.
They're like, if you're gonnacome all this way.
And there's only a handful ofkids that come up.
So I made the girls write thankyou notes.
Yeah.
So we got up early Saturdaymorning, we had, we went down to
New Jersey and then I tookCamille to her first concert.
(03:51):
Amazing.
We went to Sabrina Carpenter.
I cannot, and it was really cutebecause the concert, I don't
wanna say it's inappropriate butit's very like sexual.
But, it was over her head.
It was over Camila's head.
Camilla is only six years old.
Yeah.
But she loved, she just likesthe music.
She loved the music and likethe, her prancing around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then the best part of it allwas Olivia Dean opened for her.
(04:12):
Oh, I love her.
Obsessed.
I am obsessed with Olivia Dean.
I love her music.
She's beautiful.
She put on.
An incredible performance.
I was like, I'm at an OliviaDean concert tonight.
I have, I know.
I was so jealous when I saw thatshe was opening and she really
is.
Yeah, I think she is.
She's an icon.
So talented and her voice andjust everything about her.
(04:35):
She's gorgeous.
And she, I just, I love hermusic.
It reminds me of like ninetiesrom-com pop, like she's just
everything.
Yeah.
I love her.
She was terrific.
So That is amazing.
Yeah, so we had the concert, wegot back at, I don't know,
around midnight.
And then when we go to myin-laws, Nick and I sleep on an
air mattress in the basement andthere's a spare bedroom
(04:56):
upstairs.
But of course nobody wants tosleep in the spare bedroom.
They wanna sleep downstairs withme and Nick on the air mattress.
So we got home and there's likea little chair, one girl's on
the chair, the other one is onthe sofa Vincent's on the floor,
and me and Nick are in the airmattress.
Joseph was subbed upstairs.
So we got up at six 30 toVincent because he was trying to
(05:17):
buy Roblox or something.
And we like got into it with himand I was like, what time is it
even?
Is it six 30?
Is it seven 30?
What time is it?
Where are we?
I need to go home.
Yeah.
Get me the F outta here.
So when we got home last night,I left my phone in the kitchen
overnight and I went up to myroom Phoneless.
And I was, and I went right tosleep.
(05:37):
But you go to bed early and Iwent right to sleep.
'cause I watched a show withNick.
I think I was watchingHousewives.
Like it wasn't even I was likewatching like a series with him.
I was just watching housewives,but I wasn't on my phone on the
commercial breaks.
Yeah.
Without that scroll.
You're like, I'm out.
And it's so funny.
How quickly you fall asleep whenyou're not scrolling.
I know.
'Cause the scrolling.
Could you go into a time warp?
(05:58):
Yeah.
So I love that.
So I'm gonna try to do it acouple nights a week.
You're doing it.
You're taking our advice fromI'm gonna try to do it.
I have yet to take advice.
Take advice.
I miss advice.
Anything important Except I hadgot like a missed call from my
mom.
Yeah.
And she was just trying to tellme like a story about the She
told me this morning.
Yeah.
Like I, the story could havewaited.
Yep.
And it did.
It waited.
So I love it.
Anyways, here we are today.
(06:19):
I know.
I love it.
All right, so what's on fortoday?
You had a great conversationwith your friend Lauren sparked
this conversation.
I was chatting with my girl,Lauren Rosoff, who we had on the
podcast a little while ago, andshe is another fellow influencer
content creator.
And we had such a wonderfulconversation with her on the
podcast, and she still listensto the podcast, which means a
(06:42):
ton to us.
And we were just chatting aboutepisodes that she had listened
to and we got into kind of thistopic of hobbies as a mom, but
also just as, I hate using this,but middle aged woman, right?
We talk about how importanthobbies are and how you need
(07:05):
them and they help to fill yourcup and it helps you like lead
to long time friendships and allof these things, but we don't
really talk about like the nittygritty of if you.
Phased out of having hobbies forwhatever reason, like how hard
it is to get back into them, andhow you don't even sometimes
know what you like to do in thisphase of life.
(07:27):
And so we wanted to unpack thattoday.
Yeah.
And t you're somebody who Iasked you this question you did
on this very podcast a long timeago because I talked about.
Getting in my tents.
Yes.
And that's like another way Idescribe like my hobbies.
Yeah.
Because sometimes the word hobbycan sound very somo like, oh,
your hobbies, like what are youa little child who collects
(07:48):
marbles?
But no, a hobby is so much morethan that.
A hobby could be cooking once aweek and following a recipe
that's your hobby.
A hobby could be walking daily,right?
There's so many different thingsthat hobbies can be to you.
Yeah.
And I think that word, I thinkyou're like, what I was thinking
of when I think of hobbies is itcould feel overwhelming.
And so I think, and it like,like another task could feel
(08:08):
like shit, now I need a hobby.
And I think it could feel likemaybe something bigger than it
needs to be.
It could just be doing thingsthat you enjoy.
Doing.
Yeah.
And it doesn't have to be asport.
It doesn't have to be something.
Crazy.
You know what I mean?
So I think sometimes when youthink of the word hobby, it just
feels like this huge timecommitment or it's like too
(08:29):
overwhelming.
And so we wanted to likecompletely unpack and really
talk about this.
And you're somebody who, I havelots of hobbies.
You do have lots of hobbies andyou not only have lots of h
hobbies, you intentionally maketime to do those hobbies.
When Lauren and I were talking,we're both, she's about a year
postpartum and I am almost twoat this point, almost two years
(08:52):
postpartum.
And we're trying to figure outwhat we even like to do.
And I think sometimes when youhave work, that's something that
you like to do and work that is.
Kind of all consuming, thatalmost takes over as a hobby.
So sometimes when I havedowntime, I wanna throw myself
into work.
And it's like a habit that overthe last 15 years I've just
(09:15):
done, because it's oh, if I havesome time, I feel like it's
partially guilt.
And it's partially that when I'min a good workspace, I enjoy my
work so much that I wanna createcontent and I wanna share things
that I like.
And so sometimes I have to takea step back and say, no let's do
other things.
What are the other things thatyou like to do?
(09:35):
Because there are other thingsthat I enjoy doing outside of
work, outside of working out.
I also think that sometimes, youcan fall into that trap where
it's oh, I enjoy working out, soI'm gonna go work out.
And it's yes, that could beconsidered a hobby, but I don't
know if it's considered myhobby.
You know what I mean?
I think that there's different.
Categories for hobbies.
(09:57):
And I think that when you starta hobby, you have to think of
them as they can be practical,they can be used for personal
growth.
They don't just have to be fromlike wellness and movement.
Although I think that's like aterrific place to start if
you're a, a young mom and you'retrying to cr in incorporate
movement into your life, I thinkthat's a great place to start.
(10:17):
I think so when I like a twoferturn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When I turned 30, that's when Istarted my first hobby.
So Vincent was, I think a yearold.
So I was probably around thesame period in my life that you
and Lauren are in.
So like Joseph was three-ish andVincent was like one-ish.
And I picked up tennis.
Now you don't have to pick uptennis.
Not everybody is gonna wannapick up a sport.
(10:37):
But I started with that becauseI wanted to do something by
myself.
Which is ironic because it endedup turning into sport, something
do with friends sport.
And now my children and myfamily.
I digress.
But at the time it was somethingjust, for me, it was a
commitment I was making just formyself.
It was time away just formyself.
And the, my original thoughtwas, I barely have enough time
(11:00):
to do what I'm doing.
How am I gonna create more time?
But I think if you go into itwith the mindset, and you have
to be honest with yourself, Iwas wasting a lot of time.
I still do waste time, and I'msure I'm a big time too, and I'm
sure people, all people do, butwhen you prioritize something
new you will make sure thatyou're not wasting time.
So you're taking like wastedtime away to do something
(11:21):
productive.
So maybe that was actually justscrolling or It was probably
scrolling.
Scrolling is the biggest timewaster, but you can figure out
the time to do it.
So I started to do tennis andthat was so fun.
It was such a commitment.
I would do it weekly.
I would pick up the lessons.
I would do it like right afterdrop off, I picked a court that
(11:42):
was right near the school tomaximize my time away.
And it was great and it workedout and I loved it.
And then what ended up happeningwas, is it became more social
for me and I ended up doing itwith friends I know.
And you met a lot of peoplethere too.
I met a lot of friends playingtennis and it was like a, it was
just, it was great.
I still play.
I'm on a team now.
Now I play with my husband, Iplay with my kids.
My kids played, so it turnedinto something.
(12:03):
Bigger.
Mm-hmm.
But that was, for me, that was agreat place to start.
So that was your first to start?
Your first one, likepost-college?
Probably yeah, post-college.
Post kids, obviously post kids.
Yeah.
And then my second hobby that Ipicked up was philanthropy.
And I had always done a ton offundraising when I was in high
school.
I went to Catholic school.
I always talk about this.
That was just like, part of whatwas woven into our curriculum
(12:24):
was fundraising.
And then right around the sametime when Vincent was like a
year and a half and Joseph wasthree and a half.
I started doing fundraising.
And that was another thing thatreally turned into, that's a
hobby, right?
That's a passion, it reallyfilled another bucket in my life
and it was a commitment.
I was making a commitment tosomething.
I had to attend monthlymeetings.
I think when hobbies become morelike a chore and they feel like.
(12:49):
Oh, I have to.
Yes.
That's when the hobby is nolonger suiting you.
So it's good to explore somethings.
You don't have to put so muchpressure on yourself.
To stick with one hobby forever.
If you're not enjoying it, ifyou're thinking of it as a
chore, you have to put it to thewayside.
There are so many other thingsyou could be doing.
So I have a question to ask you,because tell me, we've talked
about this numerous differenttimes, but we've talked about
(13:12):
how sometimes you don't evenknow what your hobbies are and
it's like hard to even gothrough and pick something.
So for tennis, since that waslike your first rodeo.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
You're like, I'm okay.
I wanna pick this up.
Was it something that you werecompletely new to, or did you
have some background in it maybewhen you were a kid?
Or did you just say, Hey, thislooks like something that I want
(13:34):
to do and now I'm going topursue that as a hobby?
No, I never picked up a racketbefore in my life really until
that moment.
Wow.
So I played soccer when I was akid.
I played soccer.
I was on like team sports.
I played in college, but I haveabsolutely no interest in
playing soccer right now.
Interesting.
I didn't know that.
I thought that you had a tennisbackground for some reasoning.
(13:54):
No.
I never picked up.
So this really was something youstarted at 30.
I never picked up a racket in mylife.
Wow.
So when Nick and I moved here,we joined the golf club.
And.
I tried golfing and I really, Idon't like golfing.
I do golf because it's somethingI could do with my husband and
my kids, but I do not like it.
It you hit one ball and then itgoes somewhere and you gotta
walk all the way to your shittyball and then you gotta hit
(14:15):
another one.
It's not for me.
Not for you.
It's not for me.
But I would always admire theother women walking down to the
courts to play tennis.
I'm like, that looks like fun.
And I loved their outfits thatthey were wearing.
I love that they would come offthe court sweaty.
I love to get a good workout in.
And I was like, I'm gonna trythis.
Why not?
Wow.
So I found a coach, I like askedaround, I found a coach not at
(14:38):
the club like somewhere else.
So I was like away.
And also Yeah, because it'sintimidating.
It's intimidating.
Yes.
It's very intimidating.
And I wanted to, and I startedover the winter.
I started in September rightafter my birthday.
And I wanted to do lessons allwinter.
Yeah.
By myself.
So by springtime I could go andplay at the club.
Yep.
And that's something that not alot of people share.
Like it's hard to start.
(14:58):
It's so hard.
It's so hard to start.
It is because you feel like I'mgonna suck and nobody's gonna
wanna play with me.
For sure.
But the reality of is it now I'mbetter.
I would play with anybodyanytime.
'cause I just love it so muchand I love spending time with my
friends.
And I think that's really, Iwould play with anybody.
That's a really inspiring storybecause I think, I didn't even
realize, I thought that you hadsome, I thought you had some
(15:19):
background in it, but that'sreally, I didn't even own a
racket.
I had bar, I used to borrow onefrom the coach.
Hopefully the Pippa can takeaway like a little bit of that
because I feel it's just one ofthose things that seems super
intimidating to just startsomething completely new.
In your thirties, in yourforties, in your fifties,
whenever it might be, even inyour twenties.
It's like a little push.
You need a nudge of it's okay tocompletely start something new.
(15:41):
It doesn't have to be somethingthat you did before.
And I think even for me to hearthat, because I'm going back
thinking what did I like to dobefore?
And some of those thingsdefinitely do still apply, but
some of them don't.
And so it's, it could be aspinoff of it, right?
I loved being on a team.
You, I loved, knew moving mybody.
I loved being an athlete.
I loved competing, but I didn't,I wouldn't wanna play soccer
(16:04):
anymore.
I honestly, I don't evenremember loving soccer when I
was playing soccer.
But again, we grew up in the,nineties?
Mm-hmm.
When there weren't a lot ofchoices.
Like it was like soccer,basketball.
Softball.
At least at my school.
Yeah, for sure.
Was pretty basic.
Yep.
There wasn't an option to playtennis or squash or be on the
(16:25):
ski team.
Or all of these options that nowI, serve to my children.
Yeah.
And I know now pickleball is ahuge one, so I feel like that
could be something.
I feel like that's a good socialone.
I also think it's pickleball isawesome.
Yeah.
I also think it's, you could dothis with a friend, like if you
both were interested in doingsomething, sometimes you just
need one person to do somethingwith.
(16:46):
I do like the idea though, ofhonoring a commitment to
yourself and really puttingyourself first and saying I'm
gonna do this.
I'm gonna make the commitment,and it's a commitment to me and
like my craft of learning to dosomething so that it really is
for you.
That's why.
That's why.
And then you're not feelingpressure.
Yeah.
If like your friend picks it upand has more interest in it, I
(17:07):
think it's nice to, I think it'sa nice thought and that's
usually where my mind goes is Iwanna have somebody with me to
handhold me a little bit.
But I think just puttingyourself out there.
And going for something liketruly, and putting yourself
first is so impactful andpowerful.
I think you'll get more out ofit.
Yes.
And the handholding could justmaybe be your friend setting you
(17:30):
up with a coach that they trust.
Or we're talking tennis, butRight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Again like the friend can maybebe like the recommendation this
is a trusted place.
This is close to your house.
I'll help set up the appointmentfor you, or whatever it is.
And then sometimes just doingsomething on your own is very
rewarding.
It is.
I remember feeling so proud ofmyself.
Yeah.
Trying, Trying this.
I can't believe how far you'vecome then in those nine years.
(17:52):
I'm not like a stellar tennisplayer.
Yeah.
But you're very committed to itand you obviously, you know what
you're doing.
You take it extremely serious.
I enjoy it.
I really, it love it.
And I'll also tell our listenersthat.
It didn't serve me one of theyears because my girls were in
school like three days a week.
And the day that we werepracticing was one of those
(18:12):
days.
And I remember telling, make itwork.
My team, this year I'm outbecause if this is the only time
that works for the group, Ican't, if I only have three days
of childcare for three hours, Ican't take two of those hours
out at this time in my life.
So then you go back to put onpause.
There's always, but there'salways next year.
Yep.
And so one of the years I didn'tplay, I would play with Nick or
(18:33):
the kids, but I wasn'tcommitted.
I couldn't commit to the weeklylessons.
And I just think if you pause ahobby, that's okay.
You can come back to it.
Yep.
I like that too.
That's really good advice.
I rattled off why I reintegratedthem Yes.
Into my life.
Yes.
But why do you think that?
'cause currently you'reexploring what,'cause you wanna
get into this.
(18:53):
Yeah.
You and Lauren are exploringthis.
Why do you think hobbiesdisappeared for you?
I think that's a tough question.
'cause I think some of it it'smultilayered because I think
some of it is just that as youget older, obviously the,
there's like the lack of.
Hobby resources available.
You know what I mean?
It's not like you can just signyour kid up for something.
(19:13):
You have a plethora of things tosign them up for.
Like adult hobbies are probablyjust a little bit more view and
far between.
Disagree.
You do.
I disagree.
Yeah.
I think that there's just asmany things for us to do.
I just think that when you're aparent, you become so focused.
Yeah.
On signing your kids up for allthe things that's, and then you
find I was then I think thatthere's just as many things for
(19:34):
us out there.
I, then maybe that's true.
Maybe I'm not.
Spending the time to researchthose as much because I'm so
interested in signing the kidsup for things.
Yeah.
So my hobbies, if I think back,just so we can start the
podcast.
Yes.
Knowing the things that I wouldconsider my hobbies.
Yes.
Tell me what your hobbies are.
So my hobbies, when I was achild were dancing feeder and
(19:55):
horseback riding.
Those were like my, no, you usedto horseback ride.
Yes.
I used to horseback ride, getout.
And so for me, we live in likecountry town know there's
stables everywhere, so that's aneasy one.
So that is gonna be, oh my God,that is on my list to get back
into.
And I know I live in an areawhere that is very prominent and
an easy for me to do, butdancing is a huge one.
And that was something I didinto my twenties and even like
(20:17):
into my.
Mid twenties I danced and so Iwould love You were a collegiate
dancer.
That's, yes, and I would love toget back into that.
I would love to actually committo going to an adult class doing
something like that, but therearen't as many of those so that
was what, in my mind I agree.
What I was referring to is Iagree, there's not dance classes
Monday through Friday all overthe place.
(20:39):
Like it's like you're at themercy of schedules, sometimes
with some of these adult hobbiesand then theater.
I don't know if I would wannanecessarily be in a play like
anymore.
But I would love to actively goto things like that.
You know what I mean?
Be a spec.
So like of course that'ssomething that I can easily
integrate into my life again.
But as far as participate, Idon't know if I have it in me
(21:01):
anymore.
I don't know if that would besomething that I would wanna do
or, and that's a huge timecommitment too, but, and then
horseback riding.
So that is something that I cando easily.
So maybe'cause I think that's alittle bit more available.
So maybe you like make acommitment to yourself that you
are going to quarterly go to theBushnell and see plays.
Have that be something that Ican do regularly.
'cause you loved them, so youloved participating in the much,
(21:23):
so much you Yes.
You respect the inner workingsof the crew and putting it
together, whole production andthe whole production.
So that's definitely somethingthat I could do.
As far as, back to your originalquestion though, like why, what
was it?
Why?
Yeah, why do you think they allphased out and do you think they
phased out before you became amom?
Or do you think they phased outjust as you, because this
(21:43):
doesn't necessarily have topertain to just motherhood.
I was gonna say, I think some ofthem phased out when I became an
adult.
Like after college, they justnaturally phased out.
And then of course, I think asyou enter motherhood or any sort
of chapter where you just needto do things for yourself, I
think you obviously think ofwhat you used to like to do and
(22:04):
the hobbies that you like tocommit to.
So I think it's just more top ofmind now.
And probably I'm putting morepressure on myself now.
But I think that they werephased out.
I can't blame motherhood forYeah, phasing them out.
I can blame motherhood on whyit's harder to get back into I
them integrate them.
Yes, for sure.
But I think that this issomething that I'm sure a lot of
people can relate to.
(22:25):
You're like, what am I evendoing for myself as a true hobby
right now?
You right.
And yeah so your interests seemto fall under more of the arts,
like the creative arts?
Yes, always for sure.
Okay.
For sure.
Oh, I'm interested about thehorseback riding.
Yeah.
Where you can take that.
'cause we have some adultfriends of ours, we have that
(22:45):
horseback ride and some friendsthat just started recently.
I know.
As adults.
I know.
So I feel like the opportunityis there for you For sure.
And I think that once I'm hopingthat my kids will get involved
in that.
And I went to ended horsebackriding pretty little.
So I think that will even makeit easier to once you're, you
can almost use your kids asokay, I'm gonna bring you for
lessons.
And then you get acclimated tothe space too.
(23:07):
Yeah.
And then you're like, okay, nowwe're all in this together.
We could either do this as afamily or I could ride
separately.
So that is definitely, or youcould start up again now, or I
start up again, get, bringrefreshed and then bring them.
I think that would be theperfect integration.
Yep.
Exactly.
So that's definitely, now thatI'm mapping out.
Like my new kind of schedule andwho needs to go where, and I
(23:27):
really have a handle on how muchtime I have, to dedicate back to
myself.
I can start working on some ofthese things, but I think that
the big question sometimes isyou're like, who am I now?
Part of our message all the timeis that you have to rediscover
yourself, right?
You have to know who you are nowand try to find out who you are
(23:49):
at this time in your life.
It doesn't necessarily meanafter motherhood because I think
everybody kind of ebbs andflows, but I think you need to
figure out what you like againstbefore you can make the
decisions of what you wannapursue for hobbies.
Hobbies definitely also canteach you.
If you are trying a couplethings and you're like, oh wait,
I am still this girl.
This girl's still in there, or Idon't like, this isn't for me
(24:10):
anymore.
I do this anymore.
Think we're having both sides ofthat where I wanna go back to
things that I did before andthen you were intrigued by
something.
Yeah.
And you were like, I wanna takethis on now.
So you really can look atyourself and just say.
You almost need to do like alittle exercise for yourself.
What did I used to enjoy doing?
Are any of those stillapplicable right now?
(24:32):
Are any of those things that Icould do as an adult?
And if not, or in addition, isthere anything that I've been
intrigued to try or to intriguedto learn?
And then go from there.
So I think that rediscoveringyourself and being in touch with
who you are and what you likeand maybe what comes natural to
you even too,'cause I think it'snice sometimes when you feel
(24:55):
comfortable doing something,like I tend to gravitate towards
this.
Like you were saying I liked thecompetitiveness of sports and
stuff like that doesn't reallyfeel like me.
So that would be a little bitmore of a stretch, for somebody
like me, but for you, you likeloved that.
That's something that you liketo do.
So I think that's helpful tothink about that with yourself,
and then come to the conclusion.
(25:15):
I think it's very easy to blameour kids, of course, because
they're the scapegoats, becausethey it's so easy to take.
Yes.
But I've also learned that whenit comes to integrating hobbies
in my life, you can almost useyour kids as the excuse mm-hmm.
to be a kid again and to trythings again.
Yes, for sure.
Like we, me and Nick have triedso many new things.
(25:36):
Because we are parents and I'llgive you an example.
So during COVID.
Nick and I have never stepped ona mountain before in our i'll
take that back.
I tried snowboarding once when Iwas in eighth grade.
And I hated it because I hatedthe helmet.
I had bangs at the time.
I had curly hair.
I hated how it made my bangslook.
It was awful.
I never wanted to go back everagain.
It's like shocker.
(25:57):
But anywho, so during COD, thekids didn't have any sports that
winter, so we were like, whatare we gonna do with these kids
all winter?
No hockey's canceled.
There's nothing to do.
What are we gonna do?
So we all picked up skiing andNick and I never stepped on a
mountain before in our lives.
The boys absolutely loved it.
Yeah.
And Nick and I were terrified,but we kept getting out there
(26:19):
like weekend after weekend.
Now I don't love skiing.
Yeah.
It's not for me.
Nick does not love skiing, but.
We found something that the sixof us can do together.
Together.
Yep.
So now we ski from time to time.
So there's also hobbies likethat.
Like I'm not gonna go off andscan my own.
It's not a commitment.
It's not a commitment.
I tried something new.
I'm so proud of myself.
(26:40):
There was no better feeling thantrying something.
Like I took the, I did not takethe path of least resistance.
I didn't sit in the lodge andscroll on my phone or just get
food for everybody.
You went out there.
I do that sometimes.
Yeah.
But I went out there, I tried, Iwas scared my son had to help me
get down.
College.
You can do it.
If everybody else is doing it, Ican do it.
So maybe that's a bad example oftrying a new hobby.
(27:02):
No.
Because I also think that wastrying something new.
No, I actually think that's animportant takeaway because I
think sometimes the pressure ofa hobby, it's back to that
commitment thing.
Yeah.
Where it's if it's not somethingthat you're doing all the time
and yes, you wanna be into someof these things, but I also just
do think it's nice if you knowhow to do some of these things
so you can participate in thingsif it comes up.
(27:24):
Yeah.
So I do.
I like that.
I like that.
I think another co, like coupleexamples we can like sprinkle
into maybe help.
Maybe come up with some ideas ifyou're kind thinking about
things, right?
If you're in this boat and youare in this like another decade
of your life Yeah.
And you're like, I wannaincorporate something, right?
If you're feeling a littleuninspired.
(27:45):
Yeah.
Here is a couple of examples,maybe that can spark some
inspiration because the list,this list is not like anything
Yeah.
Multi-layered or complicated.
Yeah.
And it doesn't.
Always have to require a ton ofmoney or a ton of time.
There are things, I think onethat I had also talked about is
getting back into reading again.
And you do this, you have a bookclub read.
(28:07):
Oh, I do have a book club, whichI get, so I feel like that's
another great hobby.
And you do that with yourfriends from home, which is so
exciting.
That's like a perfect onebecause you can do that on your
own time individually.
And, but then you guys gettogether and do a book club once
a month.
Yeah.
Which I feel like then you get alittle bit of like a social
aspect and get to involvepeople.
And we don't all make it everymonth.
(28:28):
There's been, like I went tobook club last month at my
girlfriend's,'cause my friendKatrina hosts the Halloween book
club and it's my favorite.
I know.
Who said cannot.
My favorite one.
I know.
That one looks so fun.
Like she just always does anamazing job.
Yeah.
But the last time I was at bookclub before that was July.
Because I just hadn't been ableto make it because of just, it's
like pressure.
Pressure.
But.
That's one.
That's a really, but I thinkthat's another good idea.
(28:48):
So if you like getting intoreading and if other friends or
even other kind ofacquaintances, like that could
be something that could easilybe put together and you can come
up with a reading list with agroup of people.
And they even have I know it'snice to get FaceTime with
people, but there are likeonline book clubs too that you
can join or like book clubnetworks that you can join.
'cause I've seen some of thosecirculate.
(29:09):
A couple of the podcasts Ilisten to have like spinoffs
where they also do like a book amonth or something and then they
do, do a podcast to recap it orwhatever.
But I feel like there's otherways and listening to the
podcast recap I think would begreat.
Yeah.
I think every time you dosomething, it's always fun to
share it always with somebody.
Yes.
And that's the point of the bookclub.
(29:30):
Yes.
We've all just done somethingtogether.
We've read this book.
Yeah.
Let's share it.
Let's also share what's going onin our lives.
'cause otherwise it doesn'talways, sometimes it makes what
you're doing.
It's exciting.
More fun.
It is.
Because it's just like when youwatch something and you're like,
oh, I wanna talk to somebodyabout this.
It's just, it's part of it.
It's part of the experience EI.
Exactly.
And it also makes the hobbymore.
(29:50):
Yep.
More fun.
Another one I think would bejust even cooking.
Yes.
Oh my god.
Cooking.
Cooking has turned into like atask for me that I despise
because Me too, I'm cooking forchildren that are like, yeah.
Like my daughter.
Yesterday my mom made the mostamazing dinner.
My daughter told her that.
It tasted like throw up.
Oh.
(30:11):
And I was like, don't laugh.
Like we were all laughing.
I was like, don't laugh.
I know.
And she probably poured herheart and soul into it and the
rest of us were like licking ourplates.
Yeah.
It was like the most amazingdinner ever.
So her feelings were not hurt.
Yeah.
But I was like, do you see why Ihate cooking dinner now?
Yeah.
I know sometimes it takes thefun out of it, but.
Okay.
Maybe I'm not cooking for her.
Yes, I'm cooking for me.
'cause I love to find a recipeand go to a Trader Joe's and get
(30:33):
the ingredients, follow therecipe and cook it.
That's a hobby.
That's an activity.
Yep.
I totally agree.
Honestly, I feel you on that.
Yes.
And we have.
Two picky eaters.
I know we are aligned with thisand we won't get into our food
tantrum that we normally godown, but I have two picky
eaters and I used to love, Iused to really enjoy cooking.
I won't say that I'm like thebest cook you are.
(30:55):
I don't do, I think you areanything like insanely elaborate
or anything.
But I feel like since havingkids, I'm cooking for survival.
That's, it's like everyone hasto eat.
We have to eat and it's, I'm notreally cooking because I enjoy
it anymore and I miss that somuch.
And so this is not my pinkspotlight and I was gonna save
this as a pink spotlight.
(31:15):
But one of the little tricksthat I started doing,'cause I
really do miss it and I alsojust miss cooking for us, I feel
like.
Again, it's one of those thingswhere I'm like, oh, we're, we
have to cook things and makesure the kids are going to eat
it, or we're always trying to,even if we make something for
ourselves, it's not too spicy,not too Yeah.
Like we're just moreland.
We're always trying to be like,then how can we spin this off so
the kids could eat it?
(31:36):
And it's just always for them.
Then it makes it annoying.
Yes.
And then I'm also like, I misseating what I want to eat.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So what we ended up doing thelast couple of weeks is we
subscribed to Marley Spoon,which is Martha Stewart's.
Box that you can send.
It's like her recipe box.
So everything comes in a box,ingredients and recipe,
(31:57):
ingredient, ingredients, andrecipe.
And you can do it for like yourfamily too.
So you can choose the size,which I like.
'cause a lot of them used to befor two people and that wouldn't
work for us anymore.
So I'm not doing this like allthe time, but I'll send a box to
myself and then I'll be able tocook something for us.
And it's like a good re, it'slike a Martha Stewart recipe.
(32:18):
So it's usually like prettyintricate.
And I'm like, this is so nice.
I just made like the mostdelicious chili ever.
And it wasn't just, I don'twanna make this offputting.
It wasn't just throw everythingin a crockpot.
It was very like It was cooking.
You were cooking.
Yeah.
It wasn't just dump everythingand go.
'cause I feel like that's you.
I do.
I do a lot of that.
(32:38):
This was a little bit more like.
Technique ish and in a good waywhere I was like, wow, I
actually feel like I'm cookingand this actually tastes like I
put some love into it.
Like it tastes like there weresteps involved and it wasn't So
this was a dinner just for youand your husband?
Yeah.
Like of the kids have arethey'll eat it.
Like they'll eat a little bit ofit, but it's like not their
favorite thing.
I wasn't worrying, I was like,no, we're spicing it how I'm
(33:00):
supposed to spice it.
Like I'm not worrying about,dumbing this down for the kids.
Like I, this is something that Iwanted to do and it was so nice.
And so I'm going to have acouple of those come a month
just so that we know that wehave a nice meal and I'm just
gonna make it for us.
It's like good.
They can have pasta fromyesterday and we'll eat
something nice that I enjoyedmaking and I do feel like you
(33:24):
like.
You can taste when there's loveput into it.
Like you really can.
And so cooking and recipefollowing Yeah.
I think is a hobby.
And I think some of those boxesmake it really easy where it's
like less thinking, and I feellike it's also yes.
So we're treating ourselvesgreat.
And then it's we're getting agood meal and I got to do
something enjoyable.
That didn't feel like a chore.
I think when hobbies feel likework or chore Yeah.
(33:45):
We're not gonna do them.
Yeah.
So even if you love to entertainmm-hmm.
and you love to set a nice tableand do a beautiful tablescape
with candles and thingsmatching, it ends up being a
chore.
'cause it is.
It's more work.
It's a lot of work.
But once in a while if you cantell yourself like, I'm gonna
enjoy this or you actually doenjoy it.
You've made this delicious mealand you and your husband sit
(34:05):
down, you're like, oh my God,this is so nice.
You like, have a glass of wine.
Yeah.
It doesn it doesn't feel anexperience.
It doesn't feel like the chore.
Not to put pressure on thistopic, but,'cause we're talking
about trying to lift pressureaway, but we do talk about the
importance of hobbies inadulthood and so we've talked
(34:27):
about that sprinkling inthroughout podcasts before,
because a lot of it comes backto that.
But why do you think that.
They are so important and whyit's something that you should
try to prioritize when you can.
I think as adults, especially asparents, it's easy to become
known only by what we do forothers, right?
(34:49):
Your job only for your right,your family, like all of these
roles, right?
And then things that make youpart of like things that make
you actually interesting and funand creative, and those are all
things that will then fuel yourroles, right?
That will support your roles,like they're lost.
So that's why I think it's soimportant to have, I also have
(35:10):
interests, right?
And I totally agree with you andI was gonna say that I also
found you had used an exampleof.
Joseph, watching you do tenniswas like inspiring to him and
his tennis journey.
And how you're like, you'resetting an example of committing
to a sport and committing to dosomething that you like and
(35:30):
committing to a team.
And that has had an impact onhim and he's seen that.
Yeah.
And so you're thinking of it,it's easy to think of things as
oh, I'm doing this for myselfand it feels selfish and it's
pulling me away from my familyand all of that.
But you don't realize the impactthat it can have.
And instead of looking at it asa negative, it can be looked at
(35:50):
as a positive.
It makes them look to you moreas just their caregiver, but
their role model.
Exactly.
So my husband has differenthobbies and different interests.
He doesn't have I would say likethe same cookie, like cookie
cutter.
One, so he's a drummer.
So he, and he loves to collectdrums.
Yep.
So he'll go down to thebasement, he'll play drums, he
collects drums.
And I love when he goes down andplays the drums in the basement.
(36:11):
'Cause I like to hear the musicin the house.
I like for my kids who we areencouraging to play an
instrument, I like that they seetheir 44-year-old dad still
continue to play an instrument.
I like that.
Nick also plays the piano.
And if he hears a track on asong, like a pop song on the
radio, he'll try to learn thesong.
Then the kids see that.
(36:31):
I think the kids see that andthey're like, oh, that's so
cool, dad.
Yeah.
Or my husband loves to go toconcerts.
And he'll go to live shows byhimself all the time.
I know.
He's done that forever.
That's like his biggest hobby.
He was just at one on Wednesday.
And I just, again, my kids thinkthat's cool.
Or like now my kids collectPokemon cards and Nick is really
got really into the collectingof the Pokemon cards with them.
(36:52):
With them and he because he's acollector by nature.
So he got into it with them.
Yeah.
So I, that's, I just think that.
Having hobbies and interests arejust so multifaceted and just
make you interesting.
I know they do well.
They certainly do.
And I think that reframing it isreally helpful.
Yeah.
Because this really could beimpactful for everybody.
(37:13):
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And it's something that you canshare and pass down and Yeah.
I feel the same way.
Raja has always been into theguitar.
He really has felt like he, hemisses it.
His was really like when thekids came, he stopped playing
guitar.
And so he's been back intotaking on online lessons.
I know Raja played the guitar.
Guitar.
That's, and he plays it for thekids.
And that's exactly, I love that.
(37:33):
Another reason why I am like,this is so great.
Like when we start, it's greatfor them to see It's so great
and they take interest.
They like immediately start likeit's something that they can do
together, yeah.
And I think that all of this isjust so wonderful and it could
be looked at as such a positiveYeah.
And less pressure.
Yeah.
So Nick interviews fellows.
Mm-hmm.
He has a fellowship for workand.
(37:55):
During COVID, he had to do allof his interview fellow
interviews from home.
So I listened in on all of themand Nick asks the fellows very
little about their academicachievements and their surgical
capabilities.
'cause he figures they've gottento this point.
It must be good.
He bases all of his interviewsbased on people's interests.
Interesting.
And their hobbies, because hethinks that if you have passion
(38:19):
about something, then you willpour passion into your job and
that'll show in your career.
Oh, I love that.
And I love that.
That's how he interviews people.
Wow.
'cause it also takes thepressure off the interview.
Yeah.
And oh my gosh, the stories hetells me about people's like
passions and their hobbies.
And I just think it's so cool.
I think that, and they're all sodifferent.
That makes so much sense becausetoo, because I just think that a
(38:42):
lot of the times when you lookat someone, you, you are drawn
to people that are verywell-rounded.
And it's not just like onething, they do this one thing.
It's it is, it's interestingwhen you have lots of things
that you like to do and and veryhealthy.
It shows that you don't just puteverything into one thing.
Because that's not always thehealthiest thing.
(39:02):
But I'm sure people are sittingthere and even me included,
where you're like, this allsounds great, right.
But how do you make the timewhen you feel like your time is
non-existent?
We touched on it a little bitbecause you said that sometimes
it's just.
Reprioritizing things like wedo.
I am a classic person where Ithink the phrase I don't have
(39:25):
time comes out of my mouth 27times a day.
I feel like I, that is just, Ilive in that statement.
I don't have time, I don't havetime to do this.
I don't have time to do this.
I do have the time.
It's just that I don'tnecessarily prioritize the time
correctly and I don't havereally strong time management
skills.
So how if you are someonelistening to this and you're
(39:46):
like, that sounds great, butlike, how the f do I actually do
that?
How?
What's the answer?
So I think for me, first of all,I was just worried that I was
gonna take time away from Nickand the kids and the kids.
And I felt guilty about carvingout time for my new hobby.
But I think that when you aremaking a commitment to somebody,
(40:08):
to something, your loved onesare gonna respect that.
Yeah.
And so I think that if that'sjust that's tier one.
Take that pressure off.
You're making a commitment tosomething, your loved ones are
going to love and respect youand cheer you on.
Mm-hmm.
Just like your loved ones, whenthey take on hobbies, you're
gonna do the same for them.
So I think just like a mutualrespect of everybody in your
house should, you should cheereach other on Yes.
(40:28):
For their hobbies.
Yes.
And then logistically you justgotta figure it out.
Yeah.
You just gotta figure it out.
Because if you said 27 times, Idon't have time, I don't have
time, that probably took you 15minutes.
Not everything and not everyhobby is I have to get in my car
and drive 20 minutes.
Right.
And a 10 for an hour and drive20 minutes home and be gone for.
Two hours.
So I think you can start with amicroburst.
(40:49):
We always talk about microburstsand how like important and
impactful they are.
And like starting small.
Starting small.
And also just what do you wannado?
Do you wanna move your body?
Is that important to you?
Then your hobby should besomething you know, active.
Do you wanna get off your phone?
Your hobby could be somethinglike reading.
Do you want to create something,set up something in your house
where you can create, or aspace.
(41:09):
A space where you can go create,or you wanna read a book, then
start doing audio books whileyou're full laundry.
You have to maximize your time.
I'm not gonna tell you to wakeup earlier.
Like I, I would never give a momthat advice.
Get up earlier oh, that's theworst.
That's terrible advice.
Also, I don't even follow thatown advice, so I'm not gonna
give you that advice.
Also to, to get on that for asecond.
I feel like the second I starteddoing that, my kids started
(41:32):
waking up.
I know.
I'm like, if I lay in bedcounterproductive silently, then
everyone will stay asleep.
But if I get up and try to doanything productive, oh, I'm
gonna go tiptoe down to thebasement and get my workout in.
Everyone's up.
It's just I don't, so yes I getthat.
That's an annoying one.
'cause I feel like if you'refeeling creative or inspired put
on a notes page.
(41:52):
Open up a notes page and startjotting down little notes of
things that.
Make you feel inspired.
I think that the importance ofconnection with other human
beings mm-hmm.
is a very important part oflife.
And I think that when you dohobbies, you also create
personal connections with eitherpeople that are currently in
your life.
Yeah.
(42:13):
Or maybe new people that youhaven't, and that's a big one
and I, that you haven't met yet.
And I think it makes you feelgood and safe.
I think that we've talked aboutthis too,'cause you've met a lot
of people through your hobbies.
And and I think that was one ofyour first tips, I think it was
in our first episode, we talkedabout that, about how when you
put yourself out there andyou're doing new things, those
connections form.
(42:33):
So it is one of those thingsthat's.
Could be like a two for one,where it's like you're trying to
put yourself out there so thatyou feel like you get your cup
filled.
And then in the meantime youmight also meet other people who
are doing the same thing.
And those connections are sopowerful.
And those could lead to likemore socializing, which is what
(42:55):
everybody feels like they need.
A lot of the times it's likethat's another thing that people
feel like is lacking in theirlives.
So sometimes you get that twofor one.
Like you're saying you startedtennis and then because you
enjoyed it so much, you ended upon a team and now you have a
team, like you actually have ateam of women that you play
with.
And some women moved at a fasterpace than others.
(43:15):
So some moved up, some are stillon.
Some moved it down.
Some moved up in age.
Yeah.
So like things are alwaysevolving.
It's not like you feel stuck,like you don't have to feel
stuck.
But you still have all of thoseconnections.
And I think that sometimes whenyou feel like people, even if
it's not the most.
Like closest relationship, butjust to like know that, you
(43:37):
know, people is such acomforting feeling.
So you could play with somebodyfor a little while and now you
have new people joining yourteam, but you still know those
other people.
Yeah.
That were on your previous teamand it just starts to feel like
community based.
It does.
And it feels so good to havethat.
It does.
And some of the women that weplay with are older than us.
And they have children that areolder than us, like high school,
(43:58):
college age.
And I love to hear theirstories.
Yeah.
Oh my God, your daughter'sdriving.
How is that going?
Tell me what, yeah.
You meet other people indifferent, I just feel like
there's so many other thingsthat come along with a hobby.
So back to that, lifting thepressure off it could be,
because I think the word hobbyha it has, maybe not, I don't
(44:18):
wanna say like a bad vibe to itor something, what does the word
hobby even mean?
Because don't you feel like ithas a negative connotation
attached with it?
Like people say oh, it's ahobby.
Go get a, or go get a hobby.
Or it's something like, likeit's a bad thing.
A hobby is an activity you do.
Regularly or semi-regularly forpleasure, relaxation, or
(44:41):
personal fulfillment.
Yeah.
Why does it feel like it has alittle bit of a, that, that
doesn't sound bad, but I do feellike in society it does feel
like it has a negative weight toit of some sort.
And I don't know why.
I feel like I don't, I can't putmy finger on that, the five
pillars of hobbies arecreativity.
Mm-hmm.
Active.
Mm-hmm.
Social.
(45:01):
Mm-hmm.
Relaxing and skill building.
Those are, those all sound likepositive things they do.
I.
So at Interesting.
At its core, a hobby is aboutdoing something just for you
without the pressure,productivity goals.
Yep.
Or outcomes.
I love that.
No, this is a, it's a very goodthing.
It could be a very good thingfor you.
It could open up your world.
It could make you feelfulfilled.
(45:21):
It could be inspiring to yourchildren and your family.
It could help you meet newpeople.
It's a very good thing, and Iknow it's hard.
Is there anything that you havenever tried that you're like, I
wanna try this?
Just because I have playedtennis with you girls.
When I do it, I do like it.
I'm not, I do think it's a skillthat you need to build upon.
(45:42):
Yeah.
You have to practice.
You do.
And it's technical and there's alot to know and it, it's even
just.
To keep up with scoring and allthat.
It's a lot to learn, but I doenjoy it.
I like it when I'm there.
I like the I like being active.
I do think that you get like agood sweat.
I think it, it's great.
I love being outside.
I feel like I've liked that alot and I like that I know a lot
(46:03):
of other people who do it too.
So that's probably somethingthat I've never done.
I never played that I wouldn'tmind.
And then my husband does want meto learn how to play golf so I
could go with him.
I really have never played golf,so that is gonna be something
that we are gonna try to dotogether.
And I love that because he lovesplaying golf and I think that's
something that we could do forlike day dates and just as a
(46:23):
family too.
That's something And forever.
Forever.
And so those are two things thatI think I wanna eventually work
in.
But for, I am gonna focus on.
Horseback riding for sure,because I think it's amazing.
Just live in a perfect area forthat.
And I would love to go to anadult dance class of some sort.
And then like you said, justworking in seeing shows and have
(46:45):
that be like more of like myculture again, like bringing
that back so I can already seespiced up.
Yeah.
I wanna try to play Mahjong.
Have you ever heard of mj?
Yes.
I've been hearing this and Iwould love to learn how to play
that.
'cause that sounds really funtoo.
I wanna learn how to play mj.
And I've a friend of mine that Imet at the hair salon.
Mm-hmm.
This woman, Karen, she'sadorable.
I think she's probably in herlate eighties and she teaches
(47:07):
Mahjong.
There you go.
And she plays at this likewoman's club in Hartford.
And I wanna go and learn how toplay Mahjong.
Get her on let's figure it out.
Like these older women that haveso much like life experience and
they clearly have the time toplay I that I don't, but I wanna
learn.
Yeah.
That also seems like really fun.
Yeah.
Like I just feel like sittingaround and like just playing
something together.
I feel like that's really cool.
So I feel like it's like goodfor my brain.
(47:29):
Yeah.
Still like I move my bodyenough, I would love to learn
Yes.
How to play a new game and theneventually I'll teach the girls
how to play.
Yeah.
I do think'cause that's like foryour mind, which I think is also
important.
It's for your mind.
Yep.
I love that.
So we're gonna close Yes.
With our pink spotlight.
You're wearing yours and you'rewearing pink.
I'm wearing mine today.
So actually my girlfriend Steph,I saw her and her sister the
(47:49):
other day at dance and hersister was wearing this outfit
and I'm like, where is thatfrom?
You look so cute.
And she was like, it's from theGap.
I love it.
I'm like, the gap.
So it's their their cash Soft.
So it's like cashmere cash softcollection.
Okay.
So it's not actual cashmere, butit like, feels like, it feels
like it's cashmere and it's notexpensive.
So it's, maybe that's whythey're calling it cash.
(48:12):
Cashmere Soft.
Cash Soft.
Yeah.
Or cashmere.
I don't know why they're callingit that, but I'm obsessed with
it.
I love it.
And you can wash it'cause I,yes.
The set I had on last week, it,the gray one is cashmere and you
can't wash it.
No.
You have to send it for drycleaning.
No.
And I sending, no, none of thatlounge wear to dry cleaning,
none of that.
But it was, it's like a specialwarm.
Yeah, I don't know if Inecessarily need to be in a
(48:33):
cashmere set'cause I'm alwaysfreaking sweating.
But no, I need to be in acashmere set because I'm always
cold.
But yeah.
But this is from the Gap.
I love it.
It comes in 20 different colors.
Yeah.
She's wearing like a matching,anyone not watching us, but
you're wearing a matching loungeset and a really pretty like
burgundy color.
Yeah.
It's so pretty.
And it's like a sweater, asweater knit set.
And the pants are almost like aflare yeah.
(48:53):
Yeah, that's, I dunno, it's sonice.
You look so nice and cozy.
I love like sets like that forthis time of year because it's
just easy.
And then you can also wear thesweater on its own.
It's like such a great mix andmatch.
This is like a nice lookingoutfit.
It's so nice and it's socomfortable and you just look so
put together.
And I love the color.
Yeah.
Like a little mule on with it.
Love it.
Easy outfit.
Easy outfit.
So cute.
So I think the, like the theythe pieces'cause gap always.
(49:16):
Oh, gap always has specials.
Yes.
Always.
Yeah.
Percent, 40% off.
Sure.
So I think depending on likewhere the sale will fall, yeah.
Their pieces are probably like$50.
Ish.
Yeah, somewhere in that range.
I love it.
So it's gorgeous.
I know.
That's like a one you need inevery color type of stuff.
I know.
Actually, my, when I took this,when I opened it the other day,
Camilla saw it.
She's oh my God, I need the sameexact one in every color for me.
(49:39):
I'm like, oh, you are so mydaughter.
So they make'em for kids too.
I'm gonna get em for Camilla.
I love it.
All right.
What's your spotlight this week?
Okay, so mine is.
That I got Botox.
I didn't really get, I say thatI get Botox, but really I
haven't actually gotten Botox ina really long time.
(49:59):
I feel like I dabble with theother ones, but I, it had been
so long, I hadn't gottenanything done since January of
last year, and I got it done.
I think two or three weeks agoreally.
And this one was called Tibo,which is newer and it's supposed
to kick in a lot faster.
And it is less expensive thanlike a dispo, than a Botox.
(50:21):
So you get a little bit morebang for your buck because it
kicks in faster and it'ssupposed to last the same amount
of time.
And it's just overall less.
It's just, I feel like asthere's more options coming into
the space, everything.
The cost is coming down.
So I tried this one out and Igot it done with my friend
Amanda, who I've been going to,we've to gone.
She's really been the onlyperson who has ever touched my
(50:42):
face besides my brother-in-lawwho is a plastic surgeon and and
he lives in Charleston.
So he is not local enough to doit every time.
But she had, she just.
I feel like she just gets me andshe always just does enough
where I just feel refreshed.
So where did you get it?
So I got it in my forehead on myelevens.
We do my crow's feet and thenshe does a little on the sides
(51:05):
of my mouth for, to help liftthe smile a little bit.
So you look so I don't have myRBF that I am known for.
And so it does really help.
So when I have a resting face, Idon't have resting bitch face, I
just have resting face, so sheis my girl and she did offer you
guys a discount.
So you can mention Christina andyou can get a discount off of
(51:28):
your services there.
Alexa just sent an alarm to say,to go to Ulta.
Beauty for Camilla.
Who do you think set that?
She has her Google going offright now and it's going, this
is a reminder.
Go to Ulta.
Beauty for Camilla, is that forreal?
Camilla said that before sheleft for school today.
(51:50):
Because she spilled her Soul deJaneiro spritz.
She is six and she wants me toget a new one for her because
she's all out.
So she set a reminder.
Oh my God.
Camila, She probably said to methis morning, it just sounded
was someone was in your house.
I like had a recording and I waslike, oh, probably afternoon.
(52:11):
So she set the reminder fornoon.
Is it for noon?
It's noon on the dot.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean tointerrupt you.
Oh.
But I just thought somebody wasin the house.
I just.
Our faces just went white.
Oh my god, thanks.
Meals.
Yeah, so I feel refreshedprobably.
That just probably took anotheryear off of my life, so that
probably just cut my Botox.
Okay, so Botox.
So you go wait, so by, by Lati.
(52:31):
So where is she?
She is in Farmington, so she isMagnolia Med Spa.
It's Amanda the owner.
You guys can go there and get adiscount if you mention me and
yeah, that is my pink spotlightof the week.
I'm sure that just took a yearoff of my life though.
Probably the Botox is gonna wearoff faster because I think I
just had a heart attack.
(52:52):
Oh, I'm curious what the theprice differences between, it
ends up being a little bit likewe had priced it out and it
definitely depends on how muchyou put in your face obviously,
but there could be at least acouple hundred difference, in
and the way she does it is.
Her pricing is a little bitdifferent than other people's,
and I don't wanna say it.
Yeah.
Because it really depends onwhat you need.
But she will hook you up if yougo there.
(53:14):
Cool.
And I love her so much.
She just always gives me exactlywhat I'm looking for.
And I don't ever feel likefrozen.
I just feel refreshed.
I really do feel like I look wayless tired than I normally do.
And I look real tired a lot ofthe time, so it really does.
It works.
Oh man.
Thank you, Amanda.
I know.
(53:34):
Thank you, Amanda.
I love it to just give a shoutout.
Oh, all so I'll see you nextweek.
Yes, you next week.
Bye guys.
Bye.
I'm Christina and I'm t And thisis the Pretty and Pink again
podcast where motherhood meetsrediscovery.
Hi.
Hi.
How are you?
How's daylight savings treatingyou?
(00:21):
I feel like we're fine.
We're past it.
You're okay?
Yeah, we're past it.
I have older kids.
Yeah.
So you're not in, you're not init.
No, we're actually, we are notin it.
Actually, this is, this wasn'tas bad.
I was telling you.
Like it wasn't as terrible as Ithought it was going to be.
It's just there's a little bitof extra crankiness just around
the times that they're going togo to nap and then going to go
(00:43):
down for bedtime, it just feelslike they're really hanging in
there, yeah.
But it really wasn't too badoverall, but I'm exhausted.
It's hitting me.
Is that any different than lastSunday?
Or is there, I'm always tired,but I don't know, I was thinking
about it and I was like we had25 hours yesterday, it was a 25
hour day, like 24 isn't enough,yeah.
(01:04):
So it, I felt like it was a 25hour day yesterday.
Yeah.
And it's always on like theSunday and we're with the kids,
so it just, it's wow.
It's like Sunday after Halloweenfelt extra hour.
You really felt it.
And it's funny, when I talked tomy mom yesterday, she was like,
we caught up on our hour sleep.
And I was like, wrong audience.
We did not.
(01:25):
I'm like, we did not.
That's so funny.
Must be nice because we, oh mygosh.
No, we did not.
We slept.
So Friday we were together.
We had Halloween together.
Yes.
I know we had Halloween.
Which guy?
Your kids are so freaking cute.
Yours are so cute.
Yours.
They're just so cute.
There's just something sospecial about little kids.
Like your kids are just solittle came.
I know.
But even the girls are to the.
Rang the doorbell.
Halloween is so overwhelming.
(01:45):
It is like you, you dress up insomething else.
Yep.
You go to somebody's house.
Yep.
Where your parents are alwaystelling you like, don't ask for
anything.
Don't invite yourself in.
And then you break all therules.
You go to a stranger's house,you knock on their door, you ask
for candy.
Yep.
It's just so confusing.
I know.
And it was cute'cause we broughtthe kids to tease and we
practiced one time at our house,like where we had them ring the
(02:07):
doorbell and they stood thereand said, trick or treat, Leo
said, trick or treat.
But then.
When we came to tease, it wasonly the second time that they
did it and they were both toonervous to actually do it.
Also, so they stood behind meand we did it.
My kids could not wait for themto arrive.
Yeah.
Like they were waiting at thedoor with baited breath.
Like I know.
Waiting and waiting.
I'm like, don't open the door.
(02:27):
You have to wait till they, nah,it was so cute.
So we took my two little onesand then your two littlest ones.
Yeah.
And we all went on the golfcart.
Yeah.
And all the parents and the fourkids went trick-or-treating.
It was so cute.
We did a couple houses in theneighborhood before my kids
tapped out.
They were like, okay.
Enough done.
But it was so cute.
(02:48):
It really cute.
Was really cute.
Was did we have a video of Leoand camila and Ava, I, that
cute.
Running to a house.
Like they took him like holdinghis hand and they were running,
he was nervous.
He was nervous running acrossthe driveway, like to front
door.
And I got very like.
Sentimental about it.
'cause I was like, this is theirchildhood.
And this was, it was just like avery cute moment.
(03:10):
I think.
I'll always remember it.
It was very sweet.
It was very cute.
It was very sweet.
I actually made the girls writethank you cards Oh.
To some of the neighbors becausethey, there's not a lot of trick
or treaters in ourneighborhoods.
So they basically do it for likemy kids.
Your kids, maybe like a coupleother kids in the neighborhood.
Yep.
And they give out not onlyfull-sized candy bars, like
jumbo sized candy bars.
(03:31):
The biggest one.
I didn't even know.
They make them that big.
Yeah.
And they're happy to do it.
They're like, oh my God, yourkids are so cute.
Because they only get a few.
So they're like, if we're gonnahave a few, they're not giving
the minis.
They're like, if you're gonnacome all this way.
And there's only a handful ofkids that come up.
So I made the girls write thankyou notes.
Yeah.
So we got up early Saturdaymorning, we had, we went down to
New Jersey and then I tookCamille to her first concert.
(03:51):
Amazing.
We went to Sabrina Carpenter.
I cannot, and it was really cutebecause the concert, I don't
wanna say it's inappropriate butit's very like sexual.
But, it was over her head.
It was over Camila's head.
Camilla is only six years old.
Yeah.
But she loved, she just likesthe music.
She loved the music and likethe, her prancing around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then the best part of it allwas Olivia Dean opened for her.
(04:12):
Oh, I love her.
Obsessed.
I am obsessed with Olivia Dean.
I love her music.
She's beautiful.
She put on.
An incredible performance.
I was like, I'm at an OliviaDean concert tonight.
I have, I know.
I was so jealous when I saw thatshe was opening and she really
is.
Yeah, I think she is.
She's an icon.
So talented and her voice andjust everything about her.
(04:35):
She's gorgeous.
And she, I just, I love hermusic.
It reminds me of like ninetiesrom-com pop, like she's just
everything.
Yeah.
I love her.
She was terrific.
So That is amazing.
Yeah, so we had the concert, wegot back at, I don't know,
around midnight.
And then when we go to myin-laws, Nick and I sleep on an
air mattress in the basement andthere's a spare bedroom
(04:56):
upstairs.
But of course nobody wants tosleep in the spare bedroom.
They wanna sleep downstairs withme and Nick on the air mattress.
So we got home and there's likea little chair, one girl's on
the chair, the other one is onthe sofa Vincent's on the floor,
and me and Nick are in the airmattress.
Joseph was subbed upstairs.
So we got up at six 30 toVincent because he was trying to
(05:17):
buy Roblox or something.
And we like got into it with himand I was like, what time is it
even?
Is it six 30?
Is it seven 30?
What time is it?
Where are we?
I need to go home.
Yeah.
Get me the F outta here.
So when we got home last night,I left my phone in the kitchen
overnight and I went up to myroom Phoneless.
And I was, and I went right tosleep.
(05:37):
But you go to bed early and Iwent right to sleep.
'cause I watched a show withNick.
I think I was watchingHousewives.
Like it wasn't even I was likewatching like a series with him.
I was just watching housewives,but I wasn't on my phone on the
commercial breaks.
Yeah.
Without that scroll.
You're like, I'm out.
And it's so funny.
How quickly you fall asleep whenyou're not scrolling.
I know.
'Cause the scrolling.
Could you go into a time warp?
(05:58):
Yeah.
So I love that.
So I'm gonna try to do it acouple nights a week.
You're doing it.
You're taking our advice fromI'm gonna try to do it.
I have yet to take advice.
Take advice.
I miss advice.
Anything important Except I hadgot like a missed call from my
mom.
Yeah.
And she was just trying to tellme like a story about the She
told me this morning.
Yeah.
Like I, the story could havewaited.
Yep.
And it did.
It waited.
So I love it.
Anyways, here we are today.
(06:19):
I know.
I love it.
All right, so what's on fortoday?
You had a great conversationwith your friend Lauren sparked
this conversation.
I was chatting with my girl,Lauren Rosoff, who we had on the
podcast a little while ago, andshe is another fellow influencer
content creator.
And we had such a wonderfulconversation with her on the
podcast, and she still listensto the podcast, which means a
(06:42):
ton to us.
And we were just chatting aboutepisodes that she had listened
to and we got into kind of thistopic of hobbies as a mom, but
also just as, I hate using this,but middle aged woman, right?
We talk about how importanthobbies are and how you need
(07:05):
them and they help to fill yourcup and it helps you like lead
to long time friendships and allof these things, but we don't
really talk about like the nittygritty of if you.
Phased out of having hobbies forwhatever reason, like how hard
it is to get back into them, andhow you don't even sometimes
know what you like to do in thisphase of life.
(07:27):
And so we wanted to unpack thattoday.
Yeah.
And t you're somebody who Iasked you this question you did
on this very podcast a long timeago because I talked about.
Getting in my tents.
Yes.
And that's like another way Idescribe like my hobbies.
Yeah.
Because sometimes the word hobbycan sound very somo like, oh,
your hobbies, like what are youa little child who collects
(07:48):
marbles?
But no, a hobby is so much morethan that.
A hobby could be cooking once aweek and following a recipe
that's your hobby.
A hobby could be walking daily,right?
There's so many different thingsthat hobbies can be to you.
Yeah.
And I think that word, I thinkyou're like, what I was thinking
of when I think of hobbies is itcould feel overwhelming.
And so I think, and it like,like another task could feel
(08:08):
like shit, now I need a hobby.
And I think it could feel likemaybe something bigger than it
needs to be.
It could just be doing thingsthat you enjoy.
Doing.
Yeah.
And it doesn't have to be asport.
It doesn't have to be something.
Crazy.
You know what I mean?
So I think sometimes when youthink of the word hobby, it just
feels like this huge timecommitment or it's like too
(08:29):
overwhelming.
And so we wanted to likecompletely unpack and really
talk about this.
And you're somebody who, I havelots of hobbies.
You do have lots of hobbies andyou not only have lots of h
hobbies, you intentionally maketime to do those hobbies.
When Lauren and I were talking,we're both, she's about a year
postpartum and I am almost twoat this point, almost two years
(08:52):
postpartum.
And we're trying to figure outwhat we even like to do.
And I think sometimes when youhave work, that's something that
you like to do and work that is.
Kind of all consuming, thatalmost takes over as a hobby.
So sometimes when I havedowntime, I wanna throw myself
into work.
And it's like a habit that overthe last 15 years I've just
(09:15):
done, because it's oh, if I havesome time, I feel like it's
partially guilt.
And it's partially that when I'min a good workspace, I enjoy my
work so much that I wanna createcontent and I wanna share things
that I like.
And so sometimes I have to takea step back and say, no let's do
other things.
What are the other things thatyou like to do?
(09:35):
Because there are other thingsthat I enjoy doing outside of
work, outside of working out.
I also think that sometimes, youcan fall into that trap where
it's oh, I enjoy working out, soI'm gonna go work out.
And it's yes, that could beconsidered a hobby, but I don't
know if it's considered myhobby.
You know what I mean?
I think that there's different.
Categories for hobbies.
(09:57):
And I think that when you starta hobby, you have to think of
them as they can be practical,they can be used for personal
growth.
They don't just have to be fromlike wellness and movement.
Although I think that's like aterrific place to start if
you're a, a young mom and you'retrying to cr in incorporate
movement into your life, I thinkthat's a great place to start.
(10:17):
I think so when I like a twoferturn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When I turned 30, that's when Istarted my first hobby.
So Vincent was, I think a yearold.
So I was probably around thesame period in my life that you
and Lauren are in.
So like Joseph was three-ish andVincent was like one-ish.
And I picked up tennis.
Now you don't have to pick uptennis.
Not everybody is gonna wannapick up a sport.
(10:37):
But I started with that becauseI wanted to do something by
myself.
Which is ironic because it endedup turning into sport, something
do with friends sport.
And now my children and myfamily.
I digress.
But at the time it was somethingjust, for me, it was a
commitment I was making just formyself.
It was time away just formyself.
And the, my original thoughtwas, I barely have enough time
(11:00):
to do what I'm doing.
How am I gonna create more time?
But I think if you go into itwith the mindset, and you have
to be honest with yourself, Iwas wasting a lot of time.
I still do waste time, and I'msure I'm a big time too, and I'm
sure people, all people do, butwhen you prioritize something
new you will make sure thatyou're not wasting time.
So you're taking like wastedtime away to do something
(11:21):
productive.
So maybe that was actually justscrolling or It was probably
scrolling.
Scrolling is the biggest timewaster, but you can figure out
the time to do it.
So I started to do tennis andthat was so fun.
It was such a commitment.
I would do it weekly.
I would pick up the lessons.
I would do it like right afterdrop off, I picked a court that
(11:42):
was right near the school tomaximize my time away.
And it was great and it workedout and I loved it.
And then what ended up happeningwas, is it became more social
for me and I ended up doing itwith friends I know.
And you met a lot of peoplethere too.
I met a lot of friends playingtennis and it was like a, it was
just, it was great.
I still play.
I'm on a team now.
Now I play with my husband, Iplay with my kids.
My kids played, so it turnedinto something.
(12:03):
Bigger.
Mm-hmm.
But that was, for me, that was agreat place to start.
So that was your first to start?
Your first one, likepost-college?
Probably yeah, post-college.
Post kids, obviously post kids.
Yeah.
And then my second hobby that Ipicked up was philanthropy.
And I had always done a ton offundraising when I was in high
school.
I went to Catholic school.
I always talk about this.
That was just like, part of whatwas woven into our curriculum
(12:24):
was fundraising.
And then right around the sametime when Vincent was like a
year and a half and Joseph wasthree and a half.
I started doing fundraising.
And that was another thing thatreally turned into, that's a
hobby, right?
That's a passion, it reallyfilled another bucket in my life
and it was a commitment.
I was making a commitment tosomething.
I had to attend monthlymeetings.
I think when hobbies become morelike a chore and they feel like.
(12:49):
Oh, I have to.
Yes.
That's when the hobby is nolonger suiting you.
So it's good to explore somethings.
You don't have to put so muchpressure on yourself.
To stick with one hobby forever.
If you're not enjoying it, ifyou're thinking of it as a
chore, you have to put it to thewayside.
There are so many other thingsyou could be doing.
So I have a question to ask you,because tell me, we've talked
about this numerous differenttimes, but we've talked about
(13:12):
how sometimes you don't evenknow what your hobbies are and
it's like hard to even gothrough and pick something.
So for tennis, since that waslike your first rodeo.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
You're like, I'm okay.
I wanna pick this up.
Was it something that you werecompletely new to, or did you
have some background in it maybewhen you were a kid?
Or did you just say, Hey, thislooks like something that I want
(13:34):
to do and now I'm going topursue that as a hobby?
No, I never picked up a racketbefore in my life really until
that moment.
Wow.
So I played soccer when I was akid.
I played soccer.
I was on like team sports.
I played in college, but I haveabsolutely no interest in
playing soccer right now.
Interesting.
I didn't know that.
I thought that you had a tennisbackground for some reasoning.
(13:54):
No.
I never picked up.
So this really was something youstarted at 30.
I never picked up a racket in mylife.
Wow.
So when Nick and I moved here,we joined the golf club.
And.
I tried golfing and I really, Idon't like golfing.
I do golf because it's somethingI could do with my husband and
my kids, but I do not like it.
It you hit one ball and then itgoes somewhere and you gotta
walk all the way to your shittyball and then you gotta hit
(14:15):
another one.
It's not for me.
Not for you.
It's not for me.
But I would always admire theother women walking down to the
courts to play tennis.
I'm like, that looks like fun.
And I loved their outfits thatthey were wearing.
I love that they would come offthe court sweaty.
I love to get a good workout in.
And I was like, I'm gonna trythis.
Why not?
Wow.
So I found a coach, I like askedaround, I found a coach not at
(14:38):
the club like somewhere else.
So I was like away.
And also Yeah, because it'sintimidating.
It's intimidating.
Yes.
It's very intimidating.
And I wanted to, and I startedover the winter.
I started in September rightafter my birthday.
And I wanted to do lessons allwinter.
Yeah.
By myself.
So by springtime I could go andplay at the club.
Yep.
And that's something that not alot of people share.
Like it's hard to start.
(14:58):
It's so hard.
It's so hard to start.
It is because you feel like I'mgonna suck and nobody's gonna
wanna play with me.
For sure.
But the reality of is it now I'mbetter.
I would play with anybodyanytime.
'cause I just love it so muchand I love spending time with my
friends.
And I think that's really, Iwould play with anybody.
That's a really inspiring storybecause I think, I didn't even
realize, I thought that you hadsome, I thought you had some
(15:19):
background in it, but that'sreally, I didn't even own a
racket.
I had bar, I used to borrow onefrom the coach.
Hopefully the Pippa can takeaway like a little bit of that
because I feel it's just one ofthose things that seems super
intimidating to just startsomething completely new.
In your thirties, in yourforties, in your fifties,
whenever it might be, even inyour twenties.
It's like a little push.
You need a nudge of it's okay tocompletely start something new.
(15:41):
It doesn't have to be somethingthat you did before.
And I think even for me to hearthat, because I'm going back
thinking what did I like to dobefore?
And some of those thingsdefinitely do still apply, but
some of them don't.
And so it's, it could be aspinoff of it, right?
I loved being on a team.
You, I loved, knew moving mybody.
I loved being an athlete.
I loved competing, but I didn't,I wouldn't wanna play soccer
(16:04):
anymore.
I honestly, I don't evenremember loving soccer when I
was playing soccer.
But again, we grew up in the,nineties?
Mm-hmm.
When there weren't a lot ofchoices.
Like it was like soccer,basketball.
Softball.
At least at my school.
Yeah, for sure.
Was pretty basic.
Yep.
There wasn't an option to playtennis or squash or be on the
(16:25):
ski team.
Or all of these options that nowI, serve to my children.
Yeah.
And I know now pickleball is ahuge one, so I feel like that
could be something.
I feel like that's a good socialone.
I also think it's pickleball isawesome.
Yeah.
I also think it's, you could dothis with a friend, like if you
both were interested in doingsomething, sometimes you just
need one person to do somethingwith.
(16:46):
I do like the idea though, ofhonoring a commitment to
yourself and really puttingyourself first and saying I'm
gonna do this.
I'm gonna make the commitment,and it's a commitment to me and
like my craft of learning to dosomething so that it really is
for you.
That's why.
That's why.
And then you're not feelingpressure.
Yeah.
If like your friend picks it upand has more interest in it, I
(17:07):
think it's nice to, I think it'sa nice thought and that's
usually where my mind goes is Iwanna have somebody with me to
handhold me a little bit.
But I think just puttingyourself out there.
And going for something liketruly, and putting yourself
first is so impactful andpowerful.
I think you'll get more out ofit.
Yes.
And the handholding could justmaybe be your friend setting you
(17:30):
up with a coach that they trust.
Or we're talking tennis, butRight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Again like the friend can maybebe like the recommendation this
is a trusted place.
This is close to your house.
I'll help set up the appointmentfor you, or whatever it is.
And then sometimes just doingsomething on your own is very
rewarding.
It is.
I remember feeling so proud ofmyself.
Yeah.
Trying, Trying this.
I can't believe how far you'vecome then in those nine years.
(17:52):
I'm not like a stellar tennisplayer.
Yeah.
But you're very committed to itand you obviously, you know what
you're doing.
You take it extremely serious.
I enjoy it.
I really, it love it.
And I'll also tell our listenersthat.
It didn't serve me one of theyears because my girls were in
school like three days a week.
And the day that we werepracticing was one of those
(18:12):
days.
And I remember telling, make itwork.
My team, this year I'm outbecause if this is the only time
that works for the group, Ican't, if I only have three days
of childcare for three hours, Ican't take two of those hours
out at this time in my life.
So then you go back to put onpause.
There's always, but there'salways next year.
Yep.
And so one of the years I didn'tplay, I would play with Nick or
(18:33):
the kids, but I wasn'tcommitted.
I couldn't commit to the weeklylessons.
And I just think if you pause ahobby, that's okay.
You can come back to it.
Yep.
I like that too.
That's really good advice.
I rattled off why I reintegratedthem Yes.
Into my life.
Yes.
But why do you think that?
'cause currently you'reexploring what,'cause you wanna
get into this.
(18:53):
Yeah.
You and Lauren are exploringthis.
Why do you think hobbiesdisappeared for you?
I think that's a tough question.
'cause I think some of it it'smultilayered because I think
some of it is just that as youget older, obviously the,
there's like the lack of.
Hobby resources available.
You know what I mean?
It's not like you can just signyour kid up for something.
(19:13):
You have a plethora of things tosign them up for.
Like adult hobbies are probablyjust a little bit more view and
far between.
Disagree.
You do.
I disagree.
Yeah.
I think that there's just asmany things for us to do.
I just think that when you're aparent, you become so focused.
Yeah.
On signing your kids up for allthe things that's, and then you
find I was then I think thatthere's just as many things for
(19:34):
us out there.
I, then maybe that's true.
Maybe I'm not.
Spending the time to researchthose as much because I'm so
interested in signing the kidsup for things.
Yeah.
So my hobbies, if I think back,just so we can start the
podcast.
Yes.
Knowing the things that I wouldconsider my hobbies.
Yes.
Tell me what your hobbies are.
So my hobbies, when I was achild were dancing feeder and
(19:55):
horseback riding.
Those were like my, no, you usedto horseback ride.
Yes.
I used to horseback ride, getout.
And so for me, we live in likecountry town know there's
stables everywhere, so that's aneasy one.
So that is gonna be, oh my God,that is on my list to get back
into.
And I know I live in an areawhere that is very prominent and
an easy for me to do, butdancing is a huge one.
And that was something I didinto my twenties and even like
(20:17):
into my.
Mid twenties I danced and so Iwould love You were a collegiate
dancer.
That's, yes, and I would love toget back into that.
I would love to actually committo going to an adult class doing
something like that, but therearen't as many of those so that
was what, in my mind I agree.
What I was referring to is Iagree, there's not dance classes
Monday through Friday all overthe place.
(20:39):
Like it's like you're at themercy of schedules, sometimes
with some of these adult hobbiesand then theater.
I don't know if I would wannanecessarily be in a play like
anymore.
But I would love to actively goto things like that.
You know what I mean?
Be a spec.
So like of course that'ssomething that I can easily
integrate into my life again.
But as far as participate, Idon't know if I have it in me
(21:01):
anymore.
I don't know if that would besomething that I would wanna do
or, and that's a huge timecommitment too, but, and then
horseback riding.
So that is something that I cando easily.
So maybe'cause I think that's alittle bit more available.
So maybe you like make acommitment to yourself that you
are going to quarterly go to theBushnell and see plays.
Have that be something that Ican do regularly.
'cause you loved them, so youloved participating in the much,
(21:23):
so much you Yes.
You respect the inner workingsof the crew and putting it
together, whole production andthe whole production.
So that's definitely somethingthat I could do.
As far as, back to your originalquestion though, like why, what
was it?
Why?
Yeah, why do you think they allphased out and do you think they
phased out before you became amom?
Or do you think they phased outjust as you, because this
(21:43):
doesn't necessarily have topertain to just motherhood.
I was gonna say, I think some ofthem phased out when I became an
adult.
Like after college, they justnaturally phased out.
And then of course, I think asyou enter motherhood or any sort
of chapter where you just needto do things for yourself, I
think you obviously think ofwhat you used to like to do and
(22:04):
the hobbies that you like tocommit to.
So I think it's just more top ofmind now.
And probably I'm putting morepressure on myself now.
But I think that they werephased out.
I can't blame motherhood forYeah, phasing them out.
I can blame motherhood on whyit's harder to get back into I
them integrate them.
Yes, for sure.
But I think that this issomething that I'm sure a lot of
people can relate to.
(22:25):
You're like, what am I evendoing for myself as a true hobby
right now?
You right.
And yeah so your interests seemto fall under more of the arts,
like the creative arts?
Yes, always for sure.
Okay.
For sure.
Oh, I'm interested about thehorseback riding.
Yeah.
Where you can take that.
'cause we have some adultfriends of ours, we have that
(22:45):
horseback ride and some friendsthat just started recently.
I know.
As adults.
I know.
So I feel like the opportunityis there for you For sure.
And I think that once I'm hopingthat my kids will get involved
in that.
And I went to ended horsebackriding pretty little.
So I think that will even makeit easier to once you're, you
can almost use your kids asokay, I'm gonna bring you for
lessons.
And then you get acclimated tothe space too.
(23:07):
Yeah.
And then you're like, okay, nowwe're all in this together.
We could either do this as afamily or I could ride
separately.
So that is definitely, or youcould start up again now, or I
start up again, get, bringrefreshed and then bring them.
I think that would be theperfect integration.
Yep.
Exactly.
So that's definitely, now thatI'm mapping out.
Like my new kind of schedule andwho needs to go where, and I
(23:27):
really have a handle on how muchtime I have, to dedicate back to
myself.
I can start working on some ofthese things, but I think that
the big question sometimes isyou're like, who am I now?
Part of our message all the timeis that you have to rediscover
yourself, right?
You have to know who you are nowand try to find out who you are
(23:49):
at this time in your life.
It doesn't necessarily meanafter motherhood because I think
everybody kind of ebbs andflows, but I think you need to
figure out what you like againstbefore you can make the
decisions of what you wannapursue for hobbies.
Hobbies definitely also canteach you.
If you are trying a couplethings and you're like, oh wait,
I am still this girl.
This girl's still in there, or Idon't like, this isn't for me
(24:10):
anymore.
I do this anymore.
Think we're having both sides ofthat where I wanna go back to
things that I did before andthen you were intrigued by
something.
Yeah.
And you were like, I wanna takethis on now.
So you really can look atyourself and just say.
You almost need to do like alittle exercise for yourself.
What did I used to enjoy doing?
Are any of those stillapplicable right now?
(24:32):
Are any of those things that Icould do as an adult?
And if not, or in addition, isthere anything that I've been
intrigued to try or to intriguedto learn?
And then go from there.
So I think that rediscoveringyourself and being in touch with
who you are and what you likeand maybe what comes natural to
you even too,'cause I think it'snice sometimes when you feel
(24:55):
comfortable doing something,like I tend to gravitate towards
this.
Like you were saying I liked thecompetitiveness of sports and
stuff like that doesn't reallyfeel like me.
So that would be a little bitmore of a stretch, for somebody
like me, but for you, you likeloved that.
That's something that you liketo do.
So I think that's helpful tothink about that with yourself,
and then come to the conclusion.
(25:15):
I think it's very easy to blameour kids, of course, because
they're the scapegoats, becausethey it's so easy to take.
Yes.
But I've also learned that whenit comes to integrating hobbies
in my life, you can almost useyour kids as the excuse mm-hmm.
to be a kid again and to trythings again.
Yes, for sure.
Like we, me and Nick have triedso many new things.
(25:36):
Because we are parents and I'llgive you an example.
So during COVID.
Nick and I have never stepped ona mountain before in our i'll
take that back.
I tried snowboarding once when Iwas in eighth grade.
And I hated it because I hatedthe helmet.
I had bangs at the time.
I had curly hair.
I hated how it made my bangslook.
It was awful.
I never wanted to go back everagain.
It's like shocker.
(25:57):
But anywho, so during COD, thekids didn't have any sports that
winter, so we were like, whatare we gonna do with these kids
all winter?
No hockey's canceled.
There's nothing to do.
What are we gonna do?
So we all picked up skiing andNick and I never stepped on a
mountain before in our lives.
The boys absolutely loved it.
Yeah.
And Nick and I were terrified,but we kept getting out there
(26:19):
like weekend after weekend.
Now I don't love skiing.
Yeah.
It's not for me.
Nick does not love skiing, but.
We found something that the sixof us can do together.
Together.
Yep.
So now we ski from time to time.
So there's also hobbies likethat.
Like I'm not gonna go off andscan my own.
It's not a commitment.
It's not a commitment.
I tried something new.
I'm so proud of myself.
(26:40):
There was no better feeling thantrying something.
Like I took the, I did not takethe path of least resistance.
I didn't sit in the lodge andscroll on my phone or just get
food for everybody.
You went out there.
I do that sometimes.
Yeah.
But I went out there, I tried, Iwas scared my son had to help me
get down.
College.
You can do it.
If everybody else is doing it, Ican do it.
So maybe that's a bad example oftrying a new hobby.
(27:02):
No.
Because I also think that wastrying something new.
No, I actually think that's animportant takeaway because I
think sometimes the pressure ofa hobby, it's back to that
commitment thing.
Yeah.
Where it's if it's not somethingthat you're doing all the time
and yes, you wanna be into someof these things, but I also just
do think it's nice if you knowhow to do some of these things
so you can participate in thingsif it comes up.
(27:24):
Yeah.
So I do.
I like that.
I like that.
I think another co, like coupleexamples we can like sprinkle
into maybe help.
Maybe come up with some ideas ifyou're kind thinking about
things, right?
If you're in this boat and youare in this like another decade
of your life Yeah.
And you're like, I wannaincorporate something, right?
If you're feeling a littleuninspired.
(27:45):
Yeah.
Here is a couple of examples,maybe that can spark some
inspiration because the list,this list is not like anything
Yeah.
Multi-layered or complicated.
Yeah.
And it doesn't.
Always have to require a ton ofmoney or a ton of time.
There are things, I think onethat I had also talked about is
getting back into reading again.
And you do this, you have a bookclub read.
(28:07):
Oh, I do have a book club, whichI get, so I feel like that's
another great hobby.
And you do that with yourfriends from home, which is so
exciting.
That's like a perfect onebecause you can do that on your
own time individually.
And, but then you guys gettogether and do a book club once
a month.
Yeah.
Which I feel like then you get alittle bit of like a social
aspect and get to involvepeople.
And we don't all make it everymonth.
(28:28):
There's been, like I went tobook club last month at my
girlfriend's,'cause my friendKatrina hosts the Halloween book
club and it's my favorite.
I know.
Who said cannot.
My favorite one.
I know.
That one looks so fun.
Like she just always does anamazing job.
Yeah.
But the last time I was at bookclub before that was July.
Because I just hadn't been ableto make it because of just, it's
like pressure.
Pressure.
But.
That's one.
That's a really, but I thinkthat's another good idea.
(28:48):
So if you like getting intoreading and if other friends or
even other kind ofacquaintances, like that could
be something that could easilybe put together and you can come
up with a reading list with agroup of people.
And they even have I know it'snice to get FaceTime with
people, but there are likeonline book clubs too that you
can join or like book clubnetworks that you can join.
'cause I've seen some of thosecirculate.
(29:09):
A couple of the podcasts Ilisten to have like spinoffs
where they also do like a book amonth or something and then they
do, do a podcast to recap it orwhatever.
But I feel like there's otherways and listening to the
podcast recap I think would begreat.
Yeah.
I think every time you dosomething, it's always fun to
share it always with somebody.
Yes.
And that's the point of the bookclub.
(29:30):
Yes.
We've all just done somethingtogether.
We've read this book.
Yeah.
Let's share it.
Let's also share what's going onin our lives.
'cause otherwise it doesn'talways, sometimes it makes what
you're doing.
It's exciting.
More fun.
It is.
Because it's just like when youwatch something and you're like,
oh, I wanna talk to somebodyabout this.
It's just, it's part of it.
It's part of the experience EI.
Exactly.
And it also makes the hobbymore.
(29:50):
Yep.
More fun.
Another one I think would bejust even cooking.
Yes.
Oh my god.
Cooking.
Cooking has turned into like atask for me that I despise
because Me too, I'm cooking forchildren that are like, yeah.
Like my daughter.
Yesterday my mom made the mostamazing dinner.
My daughter told her that.
It tasted like throw up.
Oh.
(30:11):
And I was like, don't laugh.
Like we were all laughing.
I was like, don't laugh.
I know.
And she probably poured herheart and soul into it and the
rest of us were like licking ourplates.
Yeah.
It was like the most amazingdinner ever.
So her feelings were not hurt.
Yeah.
But I was like, do you see why Ihate cooking dinner now?
Yeah.
I know sometimes it takes thefun out of it, but.
Okay.
Maybe I'm not cooking for her.
Yes, I'm cooking for me.
'cause I love to find a recipeand go to a Trader Joe's and get
(30:33):
the ingredients, follow therecipe and cook it.
That's a hobby.
That's an activity.
Yep.
I totally agree.
Honestly, I feel you on that.
Yes.
And we have.
Two picky eaters.
I know we are aligned with thisand we won't get into our food
tantrum that we normally godown, but I have two picky
eaters and I used to love, Iused to really enjoy cooking.
I won't say that I'm like thebest cook you are.
(30:55):
I don't do, I think you areanything like insanely elaborate
or anything.
But I feel like since havingkids, I'm cooking for survival.
That's, it's like everyone hasto eat.
We have to eat and it's, I'm notreally cooking because I enjoy
it anymore and I miss that somuch.
And so this is not my pinkspotlight and I was gonna save
this as a pink spotlight.
(31:15):
But one of the little tricksthat I started doing,'cause I
really do miss it and I alsojust miss cooking for us, I feel
like.
Again, it's one of those thingswhere I'm like, oh, we're, we
have to cook things and makesure the kids are going to eat
it, or we're always trying to,even if we make something for
ourselves, it's not too spicy,not too Yeah.
Like we're just moreland.
We're always trying to be like,then how can we spin this off so
the kids could eat it?
(31:36):
And it's just always for them.
Then it makes it annoying.
Yes.
And then I'm also like, I misseating what I want to eat.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So what we ended up doing thelast couple of weeks is we
subscribed to Marley Spoon,which is Martha Stewart's.
Box that you can send.
It's like her recipe box.
So everything comes in a box,ingredients and recipe,
(31:57):
ingredient, ingredients, andrecipe.
And you can do it for like yourfamily too.
So you can choose the size,which I like.
'cause a lot of them used to befor two people and that wouldn't
work for us anymore.
So I'm not doing this like allthe time, but I'll send a box to
myself and then I'll be able tocook something for us.
And it's like a good re, it'slike a Martha Stewart recipe.
(32:18):
So it's usually like prettyintricate.
And I'm like, this is so nice.
I just made like the mostdelicious chili ever.
And it wasn't just, I don'twanna make this offputting.
It wasn't just throw everythingin a crockpot.
It was very like It was cooking.
You were cooking.
Yeah.
It wasn't just dump everythingand go.
'cause I feel like that's you.
I do.
I do a lot of that.
(32:38):
This was a little bit more like.
Technique ish and in a good waywhere I was like, wow, I
actually feel like I'm cookingand this actually tastes like I
put some love into it.
Like it tastes like there weresteps involved and it wasn't So
this was a dinner just for youand your husband?
Yeah.
Like of the kids have arethey'll eat it.
Like they'll eat a little bit ofit, but it's like not their
favorite thing.
I wasn't worrying, I was like,no, we're spicing it how I'm
(33:00):
supposed to spice it.
Like I'm not worrying about,dumbing this down for the kids.
Like I, this is something that Iwanted to do and it was so nice.
And so I'm going to have acouple of those come a month
just so that we know that wehave a nice meal and I'm just
gonna make it for us.
It's like good.
They can have pasta fromyesterday and we'll eat
something nice that I enjoyedmaking and I do feel like you
(33:24):
like.
You can taste when there's loveput into it.
Like you really can.
And so cooking and recipefollowing Yeah.
I think is a hobby.
And I think some of those boxesmake it really easy where it's
like less thinking, and I feellike it's also yes.
So we're treating ourselvesgreat.
And then it's we're getting agood meal and I got to do
something enjoyable.
That didn't feel like a chore.
I think when hobbies feel likework or chore Yeah.
(33:45):
We're not gonna do them.
Yeah.
So even if you love to entertainmm-hmm.
and you love to set a nice tableand do a beautiful tablescape
with candles and thingsmatching, it ends up being a
chore.
'cause it is.
It's more work.
It's a lot of work.
But once in a while if you cantell yourself like, I'm gonna
enjoy this or you actually doenjoy it.
You've made this delicious mealand you and your husband sit
(34:05):
down, you're like, oh my God,this is so nice.
You like, have a glass of wine.
Yeah.
It doesn it doesn't feel anexperience.
It doesn't feel like the chore.
Not to put pressure on thistopic, but,'cause we're talking
about trying to lift pressureaway, but we do talk about the
importance of hobbies inadulthood and so we've talked
(34:27):
about that sprinkling inthroughout podcasts before,
because a lot of it comes backto that.
But why do you think that.
They are so important and whyit's something that you should
try to prioritize when you can.
I think as adults, especially asparents, it's easy to become
known only by what we do forothers, right?
(34:49):
Your job only for your right,your family, like all of these
roles, right?
And then things that make youpart of like things that make
you actually interesting and funand creative, and those are all
things that will then fuel yourroles, right?
That will support your roles,like they're lost.
So that's why I think it's soimportant to have, I also have
(35:10):
interests, right?
And I totally agree with you andI was gonna say that I also
found you had used an exampleof.
Joseph, watching you do tenniswas like inspiring to him and
his tennis journey.
And how you're like, you'resetting an example of committing
to a sport and committing to dosomething that you like and
(35:30):
committing to a team.
And that has had an impact onhim and he's seen that.
Yeah.
And so you're thinking of it,it's easy to think of things as
oh, I'm doing this for myselfand it feels selfish and it's
pulling me away from my familyand all of that.
But you don't realize the impactthat it can have.
And instead of looking at it asa negative, it can be looked at
(35:50):
as a positive.
It makes them look to you moreas just their caregiver, but
their role model.
Exactly.
So my husband has differenthobbies and different interests.
He doesn't have I would say likethe same cookie, like cookie
cutter.
One, so he's a drummer.
So he, and he loves to collectdrums.
Yep.
So he'll go down to thebasement, he'll play drums, he
collects drums.
And I love when he goes down andplays the drums in the basement.
(36:11):
'Cause I like to hear the musicin the house.
I like for my kids who we areencouraging to play an
instrument, I like that they seetheir 44-year-old dad still
continue to play an instrument.
I like that.
Nick also plays the piano.
And if he hears a track on asong, like a pop song on the
radio, he'll try to learn thesong.
Then the kids see that.
(36:31):
I think the kids see that andthey're like, oh, that's so
cool, dad.
Yeah.
Or my husband loves to go toconcerts.
And he'll go to live shows byhimself all the time.
I know.
He's done that forever.
That's like his biggest hobby.
He was just at one on Wednesday.
And I just, again, my kids thinkthat's cool.
Or like now my kids collectPokemon cards and Nick is really
got really into the collectingof the Pokemon cards with them.
(36:52):
With them and he because he's acollector by nature.
So he got into it with them.
Yeah.
So I, that's, I just think that.
Having hobbies and interests arejust so multifaceted and just
make you interesting.
I know they do well.
They certainly do.
And I think that reframing it isreally helpful.
Yeah.
Because this really could beimpactful for everybody.
(37:13):
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And it's something that you canshare and pass down and Yeah.
I feel the same way.
Raja has always been into theguitar.
He really has felt like he, hemisses it.
His was really like when thekids came, he stopped playing
guitar.
And so he's been back intotaking on online lessons.
I know Raja played the guitar.
Guitar.
That's, and he plays it for thekids.
And that's exactly, I love that.
(37:33):
Another reason why I am like,this is so great.
Like when we start, it's greatfor them to see It's so great
and they take interest.
They like immediately start likeit's something that they can do
together, yeah.
And I think that all of this isjust so wonderful and it could
be looked at as such a positiveYeah.
And less pressure.
Yeah.
So Nick interviews fellows.
Mm-hmm.
He has a fellowship for workand.
(37:55):
During COVID, he had to do allof his interview fellow
interviews from home.
So I listened in on all of themand Nick asks the fellows very
little about their academicachievements and their surgical
capabilities.
'cause he figures they've gottento this point.
It must be good.
He bases all of his interviewsbased on people's interests.
Interesting.
And their hobbies, because hethinks that if you have passion
(38:19):
about something, then you willpour passion into your job and
that'll show in your career.
Oh, I love that.
And I love that.
That's how he interviews people.
Wow.
'cause it also takes thepressure off the interview.
Yeah.
And oh my gosh, the stories hetells me about people's like
passions and their hobbies.
And I just think it's so cool.
I think that, and they're all sodifferent.
That makes so much sense becausetoo, because I just think that a
(38:42):
lot of the times when you lookat someone, you, you are drawn
to people that are verywell-rounded.
And it's not just like onething, they do this one thing.
It's it is, it's interestingwhen you have lots of things
that you like to do and and veryhealthy.
It shows that you don't just puteverything into one thing.
Because that's not always thehealthiest thing.
(39:02):
But I'm sure people are sittingthere and even me included,
where you're like, this allsounds great, right.
But how do you make the timewhen you feel like your time is
non-existent?
We touched on it a little bitbecause you said that sometimes
it's just.
Reprioritizing things like wedo.
I am a classic person where Ithink the phrase I don't have
(39:25):
time comes out of my mouth 27times a day.
I feel like I, that is just, Ilive in that statement.
I don't have time, I don't havetime to do this.
I don't have time to do this.
I do have the time.
It's just that I don'tnecessarily prioritize the time
correctly and I don't havereally strong time management
skills.
So how if you are someonelistening to this and you're
(39:46):
like, that sounds great, butlike, how the f do I actually do
that?
How?
What's the answer?
So I think for me, first of all,I was just worried that I was
gonna take time away from Nickand the kids and the kids.
And I felt guilty about carvingout time for my new hobby.
But I think that when you aremaking a commitment to somebody,
(40:08):
to something, your loved onesare gonna respect that.
Yeah.
And so I think that if that'sjust that's tier one.
Take that pressure off.
You're making a commitment tosomething, your loved ones are
going to love and respect youand cheer you on.
Mm-hmm.
Just like your loved ones, whenthey take on hobbies, you're
gonna do the same for them.
So I think just like a mutualrespect of everybody in your
house should, you should cheereach other on Yes.
(40:28):
For their hobbies.
Yes.
And then logistically you justgotta figure it out.
Yeah.
You just gotta figure it out.
Because if you said 27 times, Idon't have time, I don't have
time, that probably took you 15minutes.
Not everything and not everyhobby is I have to get in my car
and drive 20 minutes.
Right.
And a 10 for an hour and drive20 minutes home and be gone for.
Two hours.
So I think you can start with amicroburst.
(40:49):
We always talk about microburstsand how like important and
impactful they are.
And like starting small.
Starting small.
And also just what do you wannado?
Do you wanna move your body?
Is that important to you?
Then your hobby should besomething you know, active.
Do you wanna get off your phone?
Your hobby could be somethinglike reading.
Do you want to create something,set up something in your house
where you can create, or aspace.
(41:09):
A space where you can go create,or you wanna read a book, then
start doing audio books whileyou're full laundry.
You have to maximize your time.
I'm not gonna tell you to wakeup earlier.
Like I, I would never give a momthat advice.
Get up earlier oh, that's theworst.
That's terrible advice.
Also, I don't even follow thatown advice, so I'm not gonna
give you that advice.
Also to, to get on that for asecond.
I feel like the second I starteddoing that, my kids started
(41:32):
waking up.
I know.
I'm like, if I lay in bedcounterproductive silently, then
everyone will stay asleep.
But if I get up and try to doanything productive, oh, I'm
gonna go tiptoe down to thebasement and get my workout in.
Everyone's up.
It's just I don't, so yes I getthat.
That's an annoying one.
'cause I feel like if you'refeeling creative or inspired put
on a notes page.
(41:52):
Open up a notes page and startjotting down little notes of
things that.
Make you feel inspired.
I think that the importance ofconnection with other human
beings mm-hmm.
is a very important part oflife.
And I think that when you dohobbies, you also create
personal connections with eitherpeople that are currently in
your life.
Yeah.
(42:13):
Or maybe new people that youhaven't, and that's a big one
and I, that you haven't met yet.
And I think it makes you feelgood and safe.
I think that we've talked aboutthis too,'cause you've met a lot
of people through your hobbies.
And and I think that was one ofyour first tips, I think it was
in our first episode, we talkedabout that, about how when you
put yourself out there andyou're doing new things, those
connections form.
(42:33):
So it is one of those thingsthat's.
Could be like a two for one,where it's like you're trying to
put yourself out there so thatyou feel like you get your cup
filled.
And then in the meantime youmight also meet other people who
are doing the same thing.
And those connections are sopowerful.
And those could lead to likemore socializing, which is what
(42:55):
everybody feels like they need.
A lot of the times it's likethat's another thing that people
feel like is lacking in theirlives.
So sometimes you get that twofor one.
Like you're saying you startedtennis and then because you
enjoyed it so much, you ended upon a team and now you have a
team, like you actually have ateam of women that you play
with.
And some women moved at a fasterpace than others.
(43:15):
So some moved up, some are stillon.
Some moved it down.
Some moved up in age.
Yeah.
So like things are alwaysevolving.
It's not like you feel stuck,like you don't have to feel
stuck.
But you still have all of thoseconnections.
And I think that sometimes whenyou feel like people, even if
it's not the most.
Like closest relationship, butjust to like know that, you
(43:37):
know, people is such acomforting feeling.
So you could play with somebodyfor a little while and now you
have new people joining yourteam, but you still know those
other people.
Yeah.
That were on your previous teamand it just starts to feel like
community based.
It does.
And it feels so good to havethat.
It does.
And some of the women that weplay with are older than us.
And they have children that areolder than us, like high school,
(43:58):
college age.
And I love to hear theirstories.
Yeah.
Oh my God, your daughter'sdriving.
How is that going?
Tell me what, yeah.
You meet other people indifferent, I just feel like
there's so many other thingsthat come along with a hobby.
So back to that, lifting thepressure off it could be,
because I think the word hobbyha it has, maybe not, I don't
(44:18):
wanna say like a bad vibe to itor something, what does the word
hobby even mean?
Because don't you feel like ithas a negative connotation
attached with it?
Like people say oh, it's ahobby.
Go get a, or go get a hobby.
Or it's something like, likeit's a bad thing.
A hobby is an activity you do.
Regularly or semi-regularly forpleasure, relaxation, or
(44:41):
personal fulfillment.
Yeah.
Why does it feel like it has alittle bit of a, that, that
doesn't sound bad, but I do feellike in society it does feel
like it has a negative weight toit of some sort.
And I don't know why.
I feel like I don't, I can't putmy finger on that, the five
pillars of hobbies arecreativity.
Mm-hmm.
Active.
Mm-hmm.
Social.
(45:01):
Mm-hmm.
Relaxing and skill building.
Those are, those all sound likepositive things they do.
I.
So at Interesting.
At its core, a hobby is aboutdoing something just for you
without the pressure,productivity goals.
Yep.
Or outcomes.
I love that.
No, this is a, it's a very goodthing.
It could be a very good thingfor you.
It could open up your world.
It could make you feelfulfilled.
(45:21):
It could be inspiring to yourchildren and your family.
It could help you meet newpeople.
It's a very good thing, and Iknow it's hard.
Is there anything that you havenever tried that you're like, I
wanna try this?
Just because I have playedtennis with you girls.
When I do it, I do like it.
I'm not, I do think it's a skillthat you need to build upon.
(45:42):
Yeah.
You have to practice.
You do.
And it's technical and there's alot to know and it, it's even
just.
To keep up with scoring and allthat.
It's a lot to learn, but I doenjoy it.
I like it when I'm there.
I like the I like being active.
I do think that you get like agood sweat.
I think it, it's great.
I love being outside.
I feel like I've liked that alot and I like that I know a lot
(46:03):
of other people who do it too.
So that's probably somethingthat I've never done.
I never played that I wouldn'tmind.
And then my husband does want meto learn how to play golf so I
could go with him.
I really have never played golf,so that is gonna be something
that we are gonna try to dotogether.
And I love that because he lovesplaying golf and I think that's
something that we could do forlike day dates and just as a
(46:23):
family too.
That's something And forever.
Forever.
And so those are two things thatI think I wanna eventually work
in.
But for, I am gonna focus on.
Horseback riding for sure,because I think it's amazing.
Just live in a perfect area forthat.
And I would love to go to anadult dance class of some sort.
And then like you said, justworking in seeing shows and have
(46:45):
that be like more of like myculture again, like bringing
that back so I can already seespiced up.
Yeah.
I wanna try to play Mahjong.
Have you ever heard of mj?
Yes.
I've been hearing this and Iwould love to learn how to play
that.
'cause that sounds really funtoo.
I wanna learn how to play mj.
And I've a friend of mine that Imet at the hair salon.
Mm-hmm.
This woman, Karen, she'sadorable.
I think she's probably in herlate eighties and she teaches
(47:07):
Mahjong.
There you go.
And she plays at this likewoman's club in Hartford.
And I wanna go and learn how toplay Mahjong.
Get her on let's figure it out.
Like these older women that haveso much like life experience and
they clearly have the time toplay I that I don't, but I wanna
learn.
Yeah.
That also seems like really fun.
Yeah.
Like I just feel like sittingaround and like just playing
something together.
I feel like that's really cool.
So I feel like it's like goodfor my brain.
(47:29):
Yeah.
Still like I move my bodyenough, I would love to learn
Yes.
How to play a new game and theneventually I'll teach the girls
how to play.
Yeah.
I do think'cause that's like foryour mind, which I think is also
important.
It's for your mind.
Yep.
I love that.
So we're gonna close Yes.
With our pink spotlight.
You're wearing yours and you'rewearing pink.
I'm wearing mine today.
So actually my girlfriend Steph,I saw her and her sister the
(47:49):
other day at dance and hersister was wearing this outfit
and I'm like, where is thatfrom?
You look so cute.
And she was like, it's from theGap.
I love it.
I'm like, the gap.
So it's their their cash Soft.
So it's like cashmere cash softcollection.
Okay.
So it's not actual cashmere, butit like, feels like, it feels
like it's cashmere and it's notexpensive.
So it's, maybe that's whythey're calling it cash.
(48:12):
Cashmere Soft.
Cash Soft.
Yeah.
Or cashmere.
I don't know why they're callingit that, but I'm obsessed with
it.
I love it.
And you can wash it'cause I,yes.
The set I had on last week, it,the gray one is cashmere and you
can't wash it.
No.
You have to send it for drycleaning.
No.
And I sending, no, none of thatlounge wear to dry cleaning,
none of that.
But it was, it's like a specialwarm.
Yeah, I don't know if Inecessarily need to be in a
(48:33):
cashmere set'cause I'm alwaysfreaking sweating.
But no, I need to be in acashmere set because I'm always
cold.
But yeah.
But this is from the Gap.
I love it.
It comes in 20 different colors.
Yeah.
She's wearing like a matching,anyone not watching us, but
you're wearing a matching loungeset and a really pretty like
burgundy color.
Yeah.
It's so pretty.
And it's like a sweater, asweater knit set.
And the pants are almost like aflare yeah.
(48:53):
Yeah, that's, I dunno, it's sonice.
You look so nice and cozy.
I love like sets like that forthis time of year because it's
just easy.
And then you can also wear thesweater on its own.
It's like such a great mix andmatch.
This is like a nice lookingoutfit.
It's so nice and it's socomfortable and you just look so
put together.
And I love the color.
Yeah.
Like a little mule on with it.
Love it.
Easy outfit.
Easy outfit.
So cute.
So I think the, like the theythe pieces'cause gap always.
(49:16):
Oh, gap always has specials.
Yes.
Always.
Yeah.
Percent, 40% off.
Sure.
So I think depending on likewhere the sale will fall, yeah.
Their pieces are probably like$50.
Ish.
Yeah, somewhere in that range.
I love it.
So it's gorgeous.
I know.
That's like a one you need inevery color type of stuff.
I know.
Actually, my, when I took this,when I opened it the other day,
Camilla saw it.
She's oh my God, I need the sameexact one in every color for me.
(49:39):
I'm like, oh, you are so mydaughter.
So they make'em for kids too.
I'm gonna get em for Camilla.
I love it.
All right.
What's your spotlight this week?
Okay, so mine is.
That I got Botox.
I didn't really get, I say thatI get Botox, but really I
haven't actually gotten Botox ina really long time.
(49:59):
I feel like I dabble with theother ones, but I, it had been
so long, I hadn't gottenanything done since January of
last year, and I got it done.
I think two or three weeks agoreally.
And this one was called Tibo,which is newer and it's supposed
to kick in a lot faster.
And it is less expensive thanlike a dispo, than a Botox.
(50:21):
So you get a little bit morebang for your buck because it
kicks in faster and it'ssupposed to last the same amount
of time.
And it's just overall less.
It's just, I feel like asthere's more options coming into
the space, everything.
The cost is coming down.
So I tried this one out and Igot it done with my friend
Amanda, who I've been going to,we've to gone.
She's really been the onlyperson who has ever touched my
(50:42):
face besides my brother-in-lawwho is a plastic surgeon and and
he lives in Charleston.
So he is not local enough to doit every time.
But she had, she just.
I feel like she just gets me andshe always just does enough
where I just feel refreshed.
So where did you get it?
So I got it in my forehead on myelevens.
We do my crow's feet and thenshe does a little on the sides
(51:05):
of my mouth for, to help liftthe smile a little bit.
So you look so I don't have myRBF that I am known for.
And so it does really help.
So when I have a resting face, Idon't have resting bitch face, I
just have resting face, so sheis my girl and she did offer you
guys a discount.
So you can mention Christina andyou can get a discount off of
(51:28):
your services there.
Alexa just sent an alarm to say,to go to Ulta.
Beauty for Camilla.
Who do you think set that?
She has her Google going offright now and it's going, this
is a reminder.
Go to Ulta.
Beauty for Camilla, is that forreal?
Camilla said that before sheleft for school today.
(51:50):
Because she spilled her Soul deJaneiro spritz.
She is six and she wants me toget a new one for her because
she's all out.
So she set a reminder.
Oh my God.
Camila, She probably said to methis morning, it just sounded
was someone was in your house.
I like had a recording and I waslike, oh, probably afternoon.
(52:11):
So she set the reminder fornoon.
Is it for noon?
It's noon on the dot.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean tointerrupt you.
Oh.
But I just thought somebody wasin the house.
I just.
Our faces just went white.
Oh my god, thanks.
Meals.
Yeah, so I feel refreshedprobably.
That just probably took anotheryear off of my life, so that
probably just cut my Botox.
Okay, so Botox.
So you go wait, so by, by Lati.
(52:31):
So where is she?
She is in Farmington, so she isMagnolia Med Spa.
It's Amanda the owner.
You guys can go there and get adiscount if you mention me and
yeah, that is my pink spotlightof the week.
I'm sure that just took a yearoff of my life though.
Probably the Botox is gonna wearoff faster because I think I
just had a heart attack.
(52:52):
Oh, I'm curious what the theprice differences between, it
ends up being a little bit likewe had priced it out and it
definitely depends on how muchyou put in your face obviously,
but there could be at least acouple hundred difference, in
and the way she does it is.
Her pricing is a little bitdifferent than other people's,
and I don't wanna say it.
Yeah.
Because it really depends onwhat you need.
But she will hook you up if yougo there.
(53:14):
Cool.
And I love her so much.
She just always gives me exactlywhat I'm looking for.
And I don't ever feel likefrozen.
I just feel refreshed.
I really do feel like I look wayless tired than I normally do.
And I look real tired a lot ofthe time, so it really does.
It works.
Oh man.
Thank you, Amanda.
I know.
(53:34):
Thank you, Amanda.
I love it to just give a shoutout.
Oh, all so I'll see you nextweek.
Yes, you next week.
Bye guys.
Bye.
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