Episode Transcript
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>> Hunter Hoover (00:01):
It's a tradition. Before we get fil
out, we get them fired up
by chanting, phil, Phil,
Phil, Phil, Phil,
Phil, Phil, Phil,
Phil. Phil.
(00:21):
It's punksitani, Phil.
Welcome back to Privy. Privy
is a podcast about bathrooms
recorded from my home
(00:43):
bathroom. I'm your host, Hunter
Hoover, and I love bathrooms.
Welcome back, everyone. Thank you so much for being here.
Yeah, just thank you for. For joining me on
this bathroom journey. If you're listening to this
u, uh, we've done this a lot,
and one of the things that comes up regularly
(01:05):
is, is I'm always in need of guests on
the show. Um, um, so if you hear this listener, I'm going
to put this little plug at the beginning of the episode. If you're like, man,
I got a bathroom store to share. Or even if you don't, even if
you're just like, you know what? I think it'd be fun to sit down and talk to
Hunter a little bit. Um, shoot me an email
privycast@gmail.com. i would love
(01:25):
to. To sit down via virtual space
or in person sometimes, if it works, we can try to
get together in a bathroom together, you know what I'm saying?
And just. Just kind of talk bathrooms. So let me know if you'd be interested
in that. I would love to see about getting you on. We're gonna. We're gonna'm
able to try some new things. Um, um, just to. Just
to spice things up. I'm always going to try new stuff on the show,
(01:45):
but some of them takes a little work to set up and some time to
plan. But it's
that time of year. It's February.
Love is in the air,
Football is in the air,
Presidents are in the air.
But none of that really matters.
(02:07):
Don't. We don't give a good gosh dang about
one single bit of one of those.
Valentine's Day. Yeah, right.
Super Bowl. More like dill
hole bowl, bud. I don't even know if I can say
super bowl. Stupid bowl. There. I fixed it.
President's Day.
(02:30):
Get. We've only recently got a president that I think
we need to be talkaughing about. Uh,
but it's February. There's much to be excited
for. And it all comes at the very beginning of the
month as we kick off the month with the
best holiday February has to
offer. Happy Groundhogs Day, everybody.
(02:51):
We made it. Happy Groundhogs Day, February 2nd. The point
of this episode release. Hopefully you celebrated
Groundhogs Day, uh, both publicly
and privately because of the nature of How I
record the show. This show is recorded
before Ground Honks Day. And so I
really, truly do not know at the point of
(03:12):
this record. So either Plumps
Toy Plumps of Tommy, Phil did in fact see
his very, very thick shadow and
we're in for it, or he did
not, and I
can't remember which way goes it doesn't really matter. If you've.
If you've never seen the
Groundhogs Day festivities that happened in
(03:34):
Plumps of Tommy, Pennsylvania, I would encourage
you pause this show,
go over to YouTube and type in Groundhogs
Day 2025
footage and just watch.
I obviously will be at the point
of record and at the point of listening will have
(03:55):
already tuned in the
day of. It's on a Sunday this year. Mark your
calendars. I'm marking mine. Um, but. Happy
Groundhogs Day, everybody. We're celebrating our favorite holiday
in February and here on
Privy every year to celebrate
Groundhog's Day, we take a look at one
of God's great creatures
(04:17):
and even more importantly,
the interesting things that come out of those great
creatures. Poop.
We gotta talk about their poo.
We've looked at a lot of creatures on
Privy. Go back and check those episodes
out. They usually come out around February
5th. But this year we are
(04:38):
observing a new creature.
Before we talk about that very cool
creature, we have to do a short history
lesson. You. You know that I can't just
jump right in and tell you about our
creature. For this year, we've got to do an
ADHD full bled, four alarm,
(05:00):
festive February Groundhogs Day Deep
dive to the background of this animal and
what makes its poop so special and
unique.
(05:20):
Indonesia is a set of
islands in Asia known for some
time as the East Indies.
While these were
inhabited
by Hindi and other native Asian
peoples and later Islamist
(05:41):
groups. Europeans.
What are they doing? What's he doing? He's
aan. Europeans officially
didn't make it to the region until
1512.
Portugal won the race
to reach Indonesia and
(06:01):
in doing so made an alliance with Spain
and set up a number of
key trade ports and outposts
in the Spice Islands and in other parts of the
region.
20 years prior to their to
their setting up outposts in the East
(06:22):
Indies and Indonesian continent.
Spain and Portugal and other various settlers
and explorers attempted to
reach this region by sailing not
east, but west.
Portugal. Uh, uh, uh. I don't know if it's
portual this part of history, it's not important.
(06:43):
But under the funding of Spain, I believe
Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean
blue 1492 to reach
these Indies. The Indies he were
seeking were the West Indies.
He hit land. It wasn't the
West Indies. He didn't make it. And in
(07:04):
doing so, he
discovered America
for the European continent. The
rest is history.
But this episode isn't about Columbus.
Columbus used to have a day in October where
we celebrated him. But then because
history has shown him to be
(07:27):
doing some nefarious deeds, uh, we're
not allowed to celebrate him anymore. Even though
he did a very good thing in discovering
the United States and the North American
continent. That all must be undone and we
must do away with it because he made a terrible,
terrible error. Now, I'm not condoning
his mistakes, but that does not negate the fact
(07:50):
that he discovered this continent for Europe.
But we're not doing Columbus. Columbus did enough
already. Rather,
competition from European nations for
control over the Indies.
In our context, the
continent and. And the islands of
(08:10):
Indonesia, these would play out
over the course of years and
years in that section of the world.
Two groups that would come under
great conflict in the region
were Portugal and Spain. And they
would be up against the Dutch.
(08:33):
It seems this conflict in the East
Indies spilled over from
the 80s, 80, 80
years war between the Dutch and
Spanish, which began decades earlier.
The Dutch, not liking their
enemies having influence in such an amazing
(08:54):
region for trade, launched a
series of expeditions which resulted in
their control of the region,
the East Indies.
The result of these conquests led
to these lands and islands
being called the Dutch East
Indies. Here a, uh,
(09:16):
chief operating entity
was the United East Indies Trading
Company. Well, they, while they
traded in the ever lucrative
spices of the region, such as nutmeg.
But Craig pepper, Sneezy pepper
clove, had some clove gum
recently. Big pass. Like it's
(09:39):
just awful. Not a fan.
And cinnamon. Big fan of cinnamon. I freaking
love cinnamon. Like cinnamon.
Toast Crunch is so good.
It is like top shelf cereal.
It. Gosh, I love cinnamon. I'm
such a big fan of cinnamon. I'm an absolute
(09:59):
cinnamon fiend. My, my
favorite toothpaste is a cinnamon
toothpaste from Crest that you can't buy
anymore. Trust me, I've tried. I've written
the Crest Corporation. I've
written them and they told me we don't make it anymore. And I'm
like, here's an idea. Flip and make it
again because it's the best toothpaste you've ever made
(10:22):
and you're a gosh dang idiot for canceling
it.
I've m tried. It's gone.
But while these spices that that grew and
were traded in the spice trade in
this region. The Dutch
settlers in the European colonists to the
(10:43):
area decided to bring in other
crops from outside the region of
Indonesia to grow them there to give them a little
more variety and a little more spice
if you will, of what they were able to trade
from the region.
These new crops and products
that they brought in include tea,
(11:07):
cocoa, tobacco,
opiate, just straight up opium,
just, just grow an opium in the wild
and coffee.
And as it relates to our concerns
on the show today,
while all of those are very
(11:28):
good things to be pretty, maybe not
opium, I don't know, we can maybe do without that one.
But our attention is going to be turning to
the coffee. As
coffee was not native to
Indonesia in the East Indies coffee was
brought there. It turns out coffee
(11:49):
grows best between the Tropic of
Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn. It has to
be a pretty damp and tropical
climate for coffee to grow. Well it needs to be warm
and it can't be freezing very often.
As a result it thrived in
Indonesia but it was brought there.
(12:10):
It wasn't from there.
However, something that was not brought
in but was there all
along, um, was the Asian palm
civon.
(12:30):
The Asian polm civet is
native to the region of Indonesia.
This is a cat like
mammal with a long stocky
body, usually with shaggy grayish hair.
And often civets, especially the
Asian palm civets are going to have
(12:51):
a white stripe across its forehead and
white around each eyes. He's like a reverso
raccn, you know what I'm saying?
And honestly like this thing looks like a weird
long polec cat or some sort of like
strange type of tree cat. You never
know when you're go goingna stumble on a weird pole cat,
you know what I'm saying? But they're
(13:13):
neat, they're a neat creature. An Asian
palm civet is native
to Indonesia.
Civets are generally solitary
creatures, uh, like
pubescent teen girls and
they're mostly nocturnal and seem to sleep
for big parts of the day. Kind of like pubescent
(13:36):
teen boys. The civtte will
mark its territory Being a lone lone
ranger. He's a real lone ranger. He likes to pray and
spray uh, Marx'territory
through scent marking glands on its
boring holio or urine
pp feces poo poo or the
perineal gland. That's that stinky,
(13:59):
stinky squirt gland on the butthole of the, of
the civet. And uh, while none of
these markings and these habits of
marking territory are atypical
of many mammals. Here in a pod
where we discuss bathroom and poop related
topics, it does bear noting
civt. It'll squirt one out to markets
(14:22):
territory. Asian
palm civets feed on berries,
pulpy fruits in the like. Who doesn't
like, who doesn't feed on pulpy
fruits? I will sup a pulpy fruit so
fast. They're so good. I would decimate
some pulpy fruits. I did. I
(14:42):
decimated a pulpy orange this week. I
just, I sucked back pulpy fruit
so fast. And I gotta tell you, I think it did give me
diarrhea because there was one
day either that or I caught a weird, weirdo
bug. But there was one day where, I mean, I ate just,
uh, a, just a globe of an orange. Just really
snacked down an orange
(15:04):
and it was like the bathroom
job the next morning.
It was like all the pulp had just flown
straight through me. They eat,
uh, a, uh, fruit called the chiku
ch. Chiku. I'm also known as
a soap apple, which doesn't help me out much.
(15:26):
Um, I don't like the flavor of soap. I do like
apples. Big fan of apples. Um, but the soap
apple, they'll eat mangoes and again, same.
Big fan of mangoes. And
they'll eat a fruit called the rambutan, which is
kind of like a lychee. It looks like it's like got
these weird spindly little hairs on this lychee
(15:47):
fruit. It's kind of cool.
Civttes are also known to hunt and eat
small animals and bugs. As we're aware.
However, what goes in must
come out. And boy,
outside of my orange adventure, I have output
some clam farts this week. My w.
(16:08):
Now I've made a
big bucket of clam chowder and
I ate on that jack for like four
days. The atmosphere was
noticeable.
But the civic cat'digestive
system is unique from other
animals, Specifically from other mammals,
(16:30):
which was only studied in a big way in the
last five to 10 years. He's snacking down all these
pulpy fruits. But before we get
into why, a study of the digestive system in
poop of the Asian palm civet was
conducted. I think it would be
helpful to talk about the results of their
findings.
(16:58):
I'm going to save you the messy details
of this research project. The
study comes from the national library of science.
It's a big read, and it was published in
2020. In it,
in short, the team studied the
chemical genetic makeup of the digestive
(17:18):
system and digestive fluids from the
Asian palm civet to see how it
differed from those of other mammals which had, had
studies done and things
were mostly the same. And I say
mostly because as they rooted around in that snoot,
as I like to say when people start digging around and
(17:39):
poop, one of
the things that they found was a high
concentration of the gut bacteria
called Glucanobacter.
Gluconobacter is a bacteria in the
acid bacteria family. This
bacteria is a big fan of sugar. Got a
(17:59):
real sweet tooth. This bacteria, um,
like sugar rich environments and like sometimes
me too, you know, I'm saying, uh, snack down
something a little sweet. I get you little sweet on
the glucose. That's the glucose part. Glucose.
Glucanobacter glucose, that's the sugar
part. As they studied
(18:19):
the civtte'poop and digestive tract,
they found in the gut biome, um, two
specific strains of
Gluconoacter, Gluconobacter
fratuaryi and Gluconobacter
japonicus. Not sure.
I tried to look up what, what like distinction those
have versus other forms of gluconobacter. It seems
(18:41):
like there's about 15 different types of this and
these might be a subspecies, but suffice it
to say if they have any amount of
Gluconoacter in its, in a large amount
of it in its digestive tract, there's going to
be something interesting with sugars.
These Gluconobacter bacterias
(19:01):
made up
66%
of the microbiome of the civet
cats that were observed in
other animals, specifically mammals
studied, including cows,
dogs, horses, people,
monkeys, hamsters, mice and
(19:22):
pigs.
There was almost no
Gluconobacter or sugar
bacteria. So it seems
this specific sugar loving
bacteria is specific
to the digestive system and
digestive tract of civets.
(19:45):
And the Asian palm civet
is, is no different than his
counterparts. So,
so what, like
what makes the Asian palm civet
so special that we would select
it as our featured creature
(20:05):
for our Grand Hog Day
extraordinaire special episode
this year? Why? Why the Asian palms in
it? Well, to further
appreciate this, we have to jump back into our history
lesson, back out of the world of science, which
scares me utterly, and to the
colonizing of Indonesia. To get to the
(20:27):
point,
as was noted, one of the crops which were planted in
Indonesia to help vitalize the
ports and, and access they had
to various sources of income, there was
coffee. If you didn't
know, coffee does not look
(20:48):
like what it looks like when you buy it from the store
when it grows. It doesn't look like that
coffee is actually a cherry.
The coffee cherry grows in tropical
climates. Again between the Tropic of
Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn.
Dutch colonists planted coffee
(21:11):
throughout Indonesia because they figured out it would grow
there. These
interactions resulted in the Java
wars wherein the natives and other peoples of
the region fought back against the Dutch
colonizers of Indonesia. When that
happened, the Asian palm
civet gained a new source of food.
(21:34):
Coffee cherries.
The civet cat began to eat coffee
cherries. Probably sometime in the
1600s or 1700s
after the Java wars, the Dutch colonizers
needed to revitalize their economic income from
the region. They had taken a financial
(21:55):
hit, paying for the wars and warding off u
uh u
indigenous peoples from their farms.
To revitalize the income they
g they began using a system called
culture steel or a
cultivating system to help increase the
production of their crops. Things were
(22:18):
tough in Indonesia for the Dutch at this time,
nothing was allowed to go to the waste.
In fact, on these Dutch col
colony farms, you weren't even allowed to
pick the fruit for personal consumption
anymore. You know, when I go berry picking and boy do
I go berry picking, I love to just
(22:39):
get, just full brown bear, just get
my, just get my bucket full of
blackberries. And one of the joys of berry picking.
If you've never been berry picking any berry. We used to go
huckleberry picking when I was a kid. ###tana
one of the joys and one of the benefits of going berry
picking is what I like to call midp pick
(23:00):
snack. And that is where you just uh, are, you're
snacking down a few of these berries. You know, you pick you like six
in the bucket and maybe four in my mouth, you know what I'm saying?
And you gotta have, you gotta have berry pick and
snack while you berry pick. It's just common
sense. Um, um, it's the way God
intended it. Like truly. But the
(23:20):
Dutch and on these Dutch farms you were not
allowed to pick or consume any
amount of the crop for yourself.
You couldn't eat any of it. It was off limits.
All of what was grown had to
go to production for sale.
Because things were so bad for the Dutch
(23:40):
farms in Indonesia after the Java wars.
Everything had to be harvested and sold to
help pay for those wars.
That and
sometimes you start to
find coffee beans where you least expect.
As the story goes, one of
(24:03):
the Dutch coffee farmers in the region
noticed beans of
their coffee in the Droppings of
what was found to be the Asian
palm civet.
Now remember, they're desperate to pay off debts
and nothing must go to waste. They
(24:24):
did then what every rational person would do who
found coffee beans in the poop. In poop on their
farm. They decided to root around in that
snoot, dig the beans out of the, the
turd. You know, you do what
you do with coffee beans, process
them along with all the other coffee
beans. It
(24:46):
wasn't until years later that the European
settlers, thinking the Indonesian natives
had stolen cherry coffee crops from them,
asked where they were getting all the coffee beans
they were using to brew the coffee. It
doesn't grow naturally, so where
were you getting it all? The natives then
(25:06):
explained that they too had been
foraging for coffee beans from the
poop of the Asian palm
civet. And they were the ones
because they're not mixing it with other plant
grown coffee.
They were the ones that found that this coffee was actually
(25:28):
smoother, less bitter and it
was reported to have a better flavor.
Nothing makes a cup of morning brew
tastes quite like
great, quite like a cat turd.
But that's especially the case when the Asian palm
civet is the cat. And the chemical
(25:50):
makeup of that cat's digestive system
are such to break down the sugars of the
cherry and alleviate some of the acidity of the
coffee without damaging the bead inside the
pit. The Dutch plantation owners
decided they too would cultivate this coffee
and sell it for a premium. It was
(26:11):
highly sought after in Europe after this
point and people would pay a huge price for
it. But anytime you
have something that's worth a lot of money, people,
every single time, if you find
something that's worth money, there's always going to be
somebody who's going to come up with a fake.
(26:34):
Turns out if people will pay
extra for coffee that came from a cat
turd, they'll probably believe you if
you tell them the coffee you got a normal
way came from a cat turd.
Fakes were everywhere. And the kopi luwok,
called as such from kopi poop and luak,
the name the Indonesian people have for the
(26:56):
Asian palm civet, fluctuated
in popularity. In 1991, a
man named Tony Wild went to and he went
wild. Flipping buck wild
is what he was. He was stanky,
but he went to Indonesia where he was
introduced to the kopi luwak, the
(27:16):
coffee. He brought this, this
infamous poop coffee home
to the United Kingdom where the desire for the
coffee was off. Word spread like
wildfire world. Word spread like shotgun
diarrhea, if you know what I'm saying.
Kopi Lu wa was featured on the Oprah
(27:37):
Winfrey show. And like, who the frick
cares about that lady? Sorry, Oprah.
Not really like I'm sorry that you're
super rich and famous and have all this power, but
somehow America's still against you. Go
figure. Um, in 2007,
the Kopilu wa coffee showed up in the movie the bucket
list list.
(28:00):
But with rise in popularity,
the supply couldn't keep up with
demand. And so they did what every
capitalist and and u,
uh, market economy
does. They increased supply.
Natives to Indonesia began trapping
(28:20):
this Asian palm civette to produce the
coffee more often. But the conditions for the civette were
less than great. And this led to the new awareness of
conditions for the civic. Remember
all. And remember this is all because
the Asian palm civette digestive
tract is perfectly long enough, has the
(28:41):
right chemical makeup to break down a coffee
cherry seed just right in order to produce a
coffee bean that is apparently less
acidic. And while the story of this
coffee is one that is made up of colonialism and
imperialism, misuse and mistreatment of
animals and the product of a number of
scams and uh,
(29:02):
wars,
there are movements also to counteract
these, including making the treatment of Asian palm
civttes and other animals more
humane.
Likewise, the mark for the coffee is
limited. Market for the copy is limited. And there's been
some research done on how to get the same results through
(29:25):
conditions in a lab.
With all these fakes, they had to come up with a way
of making sure that you had
authentic civet poop coffee.
They have electron microscope
scanning, but these proven effective because you
have to scan such large amounts at a
(29:46):
time. Nowadays it
is formally recommended to avoid
buying civet coffee either because it is
fake product or because if it is real,
it is very likely produced in questional ethical
conditions. All this
because Asian palm civtte poop
had coffee beans in it.
(30:09):
While they recommend you avoid it, I'm here to tell you
I did not.
I tried Kopi Luwak. Months ago,
my coworker husband had brought some home from a work
trip and she shared it with me. And
whether or not the coffee was legit and
(30:30):
actually had been dug out of the poop of an Indonesian tree
cat. I tried it
and maybe it was the gl. Maybe it was the
glucacteracter, the
glucobacter. Or maybe it was my
brain trying to move past the fact that I slipped
down the sip down the Bean juice of something that had
(30:51):
been inside the butthole of an Indonesian tree
cat perhaps months earlier.
Or perhaps my brain wanted it
to be as good as I had heard.
But I want to tell you, it was a
good cup of coffee. I don't know if
I'd ever buy this myself. It seems a bit steep,
(31:12):
especially when the difference was not,
uh, like, when you're
talking, you know, $50 for
a pound of these beans, um,
and you can get, like, a pound of beans for eight to ten
bucks of just regular,
not crap coffee.
I'm gonna go with the cheaper one, even if it's got
(31:34):
a little more acidic acidity to it. It's a good cup of
coffee, though. But all this
makes me wonder, is there other
animals who could create a poop coffee
byproduct of this nature?
And it turns out I'm not the only
one who's had this thought
(31:59):
in 2021. Anthrozoologist, which
is like a person. Zoologist. Weird
title. Jess Upopper,
founder of the Civet Project, collaborated
with two artists to test out this
theory, and in doing so, it produced
a scientific paper where they detailed the
findings that later produced
(32:21):
80 grams of what was called
human coffee. That's right.
Coffee that had been digested.
And then. Oh, my gosh,
just. We are depraved.
Like it. I'm not sometimes, you
know, this is depravity.
(32:44):
This is human depravity on display
through the consumption of coffee and extraction
from human feces.
The science is, it was
different from civet coffee. But
it should be noted, coffee
(33:06):
was produced, and the artists,
especially the one who ate and
then digested and then
shazzed and then rooted, scoot to dig
out the coffee from her poop.
Touts that the civet coffee is no
longer the rarest coffee. Her poop
(33:26):
coffee is good for you, lady. Like,
um, um, I want to say I'm
willing to try it. I got to figure out how to get coffee
cherries, and I'm worried that. That
the pits will get stuck in my digestive
trackact. Ah. Uh, there's, uh, a
lot more. I. Yeah.
(33:46):
You know, some. In Jurassic
park, there's a line that says they were so
busy thinking about whether or not they could do it,
they never stopped and asked whether they
should.
Yes, coffee was produced,
and apparently somebody was willing to
pay for this rare cup of
(34:09):
beans because it went at auction
for $566
for 20 grams of coffee beans that came out of
some ladies butthole.
That much, uh, for civic coffee would go for
about 50 bu buks. So yeah, I'm here to
tell you there is a hundred
(34:29):
percent chance that those coffee
beans were were purchased by a
pervert or a sexual deviant.
100% guaranteed
this year. UN privy for groundhog
Day we celebrate the Asian
palm civet. We celebrate the
(34:50):
Asian palm civet whose digestion
tract and and is
is made up and is
sized just perfectly
to digest a coffee cherry
in such a way to produce a desired
acidic coffee bean.
(35:11):
The Asian palm civet is our animal
for Groundhog Day because his
poop brought us a pop culture coffee
phenomenon, flooded the market with scams
and reminded us all that if money can be made,
people will ruin it and
they'll dig through a cat turd to do it.
(35:31):
Asian Palm Civt. Thank you.
This brings us to the end of another episode of
Privy. Happy Ground Hogs Day again everybody. I
hope you enjoyed. Ah, go look up an
Asian palm civa. If you've tried Copy Lu
Walk Civic Coffee, let me know. Send me an email.
Privycast gmail.com or if you're listening on Spotify, leave me
(35:53):
a comment. I'd love to hear it and I'd like to hear what you
thought about it. I thought it was pretty good. Um,
um, I think, I think you just gott kind of get over
that it used to be in a turd. You know what I'm saying? Leave us a
rating review. The five star options are preferred and we'll
donate a dollar to Wounded warriors and Living Water International for
every rating and review left. Uh, you can rate us on
Apple Podcasts and Spotify. If you leave us a rating on Apple
(36:16):
Podcasts, we will read that out on the show. We would love to hear
from you. Five star options are preferred.
Um, there's a little bit of a store thing out on the website
if you want to go check that out. Um, I'm working on some
stuff. Uh, stay tuned. If you want some, some
Privy Merch and you'got some thoughts, email me
privycast@gmail.com. you can follow us on social
media. It's at Privycast. You can follow me. I'm at
(36:38):
Owlet seven. Uh, if you're brave, you can follow Randy
Bowless at Randy Bowls and yeah, uh,
uh, enjoy. Enjoy your February. Now that. Now that
the best part of it's over. Enjoy your
February. This brings us to the end of another
episode of Priv. Keep pooping in the free world. Own your
stank. Wash your butthole. And
now, as always,
(37:00):
don't forget to flush.