PsycHacks

Why are women consistently drawn to bad boys – even when they expressly say they want the opposite? Although bad boys are essentially intimidating and antisocial, their disregard stimulates women's emotions and their aggressiveness serves as a female safety cue. This is the reason why women want them: the danger they represent signals protection and an invitation to social freedom.

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Heartbreak can steal months – or years – of your life, if you let it. In this episode, I break down how to get over an ex using psychological truths – not wishful thinking. The two best strategies for doing so are exposure and extinction, and they both arrive at the same destination, namely: neutrality in the face of the lost object. If you're ready to reclaim your dignity and move on for good, this episode is for you.

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Many people have asked me about my ideal woman. My answer is simple: my ideal woman is a useful eight. She is attractive enough to captivate my sexual interest, but not so attractive as to make herself impractically high-maintenance. Furthermore, she adds value to my life – rather than depletes it. I offer this practical framework so that other men might benefit in their own vetting processes.

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There are many people who lament the current state of the sexual marketplace. Characterized by (relatively) cheap sex and inappropriate expectations, dating in today's day and age is like living in the lawless wild west. However, it's not all bad. One of the many silver linings here is that the devaluation of female sexual access has created the practical necessity for women to improve their value proposition. Just like men have ha...

Women initiate the lion's share of divorces. Are they detecting real threats to their relationships or are they crying wolf? Heightened threat sensitivity in conjunction with neuroticism can turn fake problems into real problems by eroding trust, credibility, and long-term stability. The fact is that false positives can be just as destructive as false negatives. The question for she who cries wolf is simple: is she seeing clearly?

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It is not uncommon to hear a woman today speak of “relaxing into her feminine.” When a strong provider arrives to pay the bills and solve the problems, she is finally free to luxuriate in her feelings and fully experience her womanhood. And while there is nothing inherently wrong about the soft life, such a perspective begs the question: why is it so difficult for femininity to appear outside of ideal conditions? Is it really such ...

Though it might feel precious to certain individuals, sex isn't special in the modern sexual marketplace. In reality, emotional attachment accounts for most of the inflation of its perceived value. However, feelings don't count. Like selling a family heirloom in a pawn shop, these emotions add nothing in the objective value exchange. And the more spiritualized sex becomes, the less it can (and should) be used as a transactable good...

Settling down can offer peace and stability for some. However, such an arrangement can be suffocating and stultifying for others. An ordinary life is best suited for ordinary people. Those with extraordinary talents, passions, or ambitions will likely find it difficult to thrive under such conditions. Marriage: it's not for everyone – and that's okay.

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Height matters to women – far more than it probably should – and this increasingly exaggerated preference is distorting the entire sexual marketplace. However, men under six feet aren't out of the game yet. Several factors within their domain of control – like their fitness, their finances, and their mindset – can offset a genetic disadvantage they can do little to change. Tall men have it easy – and that just might be their long-t...

The democratic lie is the cherished belief that all men are created equal. And the corollary to this belief is that any inequality that does exist must originate from social causes. However, we are not created equal. Even a cursory examination of your senses confirms this fact. Biological differences in intelligence, attractiveness, and ability create real advantages and disadvantages in social action. Denying this source of inequa...

Some women in relationships believe that “my money is my money, and his money is my money.” This is a dangerous double standard that goes well beyond financial entitlement. Since money is the abstraction of time spent in labor, and labor is always spent in the application of the body, financial entitlement is effectively laying claim to another's labor – and the body that produced it. This is a form of modern slavery designed to re...

The lies that hurt the most are the lies you wanted to believe. Most of us want desperately to realize our ego ideals: the version of ourselves we would most like to feel that we are. However, this is precisely where we are most vulnerable. You can reclaim your emotional equilibrium by facing the truth about yourself. This is why you believed the lie and why it hurts so much.

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If you want your mind to be a peaceful garden, then you must cultivate the willingness to destroy whatever threatens it. Freedom and self-mastery are won through disciplined aggression against destructive thoughts and internal programming. No one will free you: you must fight for your own liberation. Embrace the fact that you are a killer, and dominate your mind.

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Many people today lament the end of the world. And while we are entering into a period of rapid change, the real cause isn't political or ideological. We're in this situation because no one is turning down the genie: our magical technologies that effortlessly fulfill desire. It's not in our nature to turn down easy gratification – and expecting others to do so is unrealistic. This is why the world is falling apart.

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Modern dating has turned women into idols – and men into worshipers making endless sacrifices. Pedestalization, gift giving, and “high effort” dating all mirror the ancient practice of religious rituals in which value is sacrificed in the hopes of securing a divine blessing. The advent of the female idol has led to the corruption of dating – and we are all worse off for it.

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We collectively have a strange attitude toward love and justice. We desire – even expect – others to approach divinity in their capacity to love, but we reject the fundamental basis of their capacity to judge. This has led to the systematic destabilization of society, which seeks to prioritize love – and its exemptions for the individual – over justice – with its universal mandate. All societies must contend with the tension betwee...

The modern nuclear family is a private-sector surrogacy. The necessity of dual incomes has not only radically altered the sexual marketplace, but it has subverted domestic life into an unsustainable absurdity, as well. Given the addition effort and expense associated with maintaining this arrangement, we are justified in asking: “what's the point?” The reality of modern family is now very different from the dream that existed in pr...

The question “what do you want to have for dinner?” isn't about dinner at all – it's a covert test of value, attention, and emotional investment. In this episode, I discuss how men and women use the same conversations to gather very different kinds of information. This is why so often there are no straight answers from women: some of the information they seek cannot be collected through direct questioning. These intersexual discrep...

Contrary to popular belief, women are not made of sugar and spice. Their sexual fantasies are far more devious and socially unacceptable than most people realize. By examining women's prototypical romantic fantasy, we can approach an understanding of their dark desires – an analysis corroborated by many examples hidden in plain sight. Women are dirty: make of it what you will.

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