Meeting the parents, wedding crashing, and Aquaphor on Qtips (Ep.28)

Kori shares the joys of having young kids in school for the first time. Germy, nasty funk. And they reminisced about the wonderful experience of attending a wedding where Laura was supporting her client, the father of the bride named Tony who is one of Kori’s oldest friends. Not only did Laura get to see Kori and her husband and sons, but she got to meet her parents, Joni and Dr. Chip! <Swoon> We discussed the sense of community Kori’s childhood church in Cali provided for her and her peers - and Laura got to meet so many of these folks at the wedding too. It was beautiful to behold. Kori shared how the parents in church looked out for all the kids, cheered them on - even gave them a place of respite when things got tricky with their own parents. Kori’s parents were very visible and involved - building their lives around being there for their three kids and all their friends. 

Laura shares how it was very important to her to “come correct” to a party that involved many people of color where she was a guest. From my client to Kori’s childhood friends to their parents - everyone welcomed her with open arms in a way that touched her deeply. 

Laura reflected how it takes a lot of bravery to be a person of color - particularly a Black woman - and be open to friendships with white folks - particularly white women - who are generally frequent perpetrators of microaggressive (if not aggressive) behavior. And Kori blew Laura’s mind by rightly acknowledging the privilege baked into being able to choose who to associate with in some spaces. She pointed out that in many workplaces as a Black woman - particular in academia - white women are the dominant group. Kori shared how she intentionally chose a neighborhood where she would not be a minority - and how she moves through predominantly white spaces with a sense of caution and awareness.

Laura shared a post that stuck with her from Luvvie Ajayi about what it takes for Luvvie to have a sincere friendship with a white woman. We’ll post it on our website so you can see it. Kori and Laura reflect on what they appreciate in their friendship - permission to be fully human, to not diminish each others’ feelings, and to allow each other to process without judgment. We make each other better.

And then Laura blushes as Kori shares some sweet stories about Laura’s kids. And Laura reciprocates with how much she loves being “Aunt Lola” to Kori’s boys. The ladies both agree how connections through blood aren’t everything - and how they have critical connections to people unrelated to them.

Laura shared anxiety about the election, and Kori shared her take - how she’s less focused on our election and more about the power struggle between good and evil in the world more broadly - and how, as a Black woman, she knows minoritized groups will bear the brunt of whomever is in leadership because social change is a long game. Oof. After sharing our perspectives, which have some commonalities and differences, we come back to the shared experience of the wedding - and how this is JUST what we need. Chances to be human, to connect beyond difference, and see common humanity.

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