The Grind

They're back and on the apps! Trey and JJ talk about the infamous "apps": from dating apps to hookup apps and everything in between. JJ finds his cuddle buddy and Trey gets an unsolicited tallywhacker pic.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_02 (00:00):
Your listeners do and radio Yeah, I'm a bad bitch,
I bite, keep it up all night,all night pull up, it's on fire,
don't stay pressed, but thewanna kick the light.
I get my bit, get my cat, I'm onmy cat, get back flash, expand,

(00:23):
backslash, I get cat, I'm a badbitch, I park, you rockin' with
a like mark, get bad, let'sstart, close with that, we're
about to make a mark.
I'm a bad bitch, I park, yourockin' with a like mark, get
back, let's start, close withthat, we're about to make a
mark.
You're listening to UX radio.

(00:49):
Yeah.
Hey.
Another day, another gay.
Yeah, another day, another gay.
All right, that's a good, that'sa good one.
That's a good one.
We should keep that.

SPEAKER_04 (01:05):
Let's not keep that.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06):
Why not?
Another day, another gay.

SPEAKER_04 (01:09):
Welcome back to Quack AF.
Right.
I'm JJ.
I'm Trey.
And we're Quack AF.

SPEAKER_02 (01:17):
Like I said, thank you for all your listeners, that
all the listeners that have beencoming to listen to us every
week.
Like I said, we know we had totake a little hiatus, but we're
back.
We're back.
Back like we never fucking left.
Ho.
Back and quack.
Okay.
Back and quack.
Back on quack.
Yeah, we came back on PrimeMonth during Prime Month.
Yeah, perfect, actually.

SPEAKER_04 (01:35):
Got a whole month of podcasting to look forward to.

SPEAKER_02 (01:38):
Yeah, a whole month of podcast ideas to look forward
to.
Um listening to our voices, ourcrazy, our gay DHD.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:45):
We're gonna really coin that one.
Yeah, we should coin that one.
Um and also, congratulations toother podcasts for 100
downloads.
Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:56):
Yes, we just reached 100 downloads, y'all.

SPEAKER_04 (01:59):
Thank you so much.
Fuck into it.
Yes, I'm so happy.
Thank you to everybody who'scoming listen to us.
I really much appreciate it.
Oh, please keep coming back.

SPEAKER_02 (02:11):
Yes, keep coming back for more.
We love to see it.
We love to see it.
Yeah.
We love to hear y'all, we loveto see y'all listen to us and
react and everything.
So we love it.
So like I said, hit us up.
Hit us up on TikTok, Instagram,all social media.
Let us know that you'relistening to the show.
Like, we love that.

SPEAKER_04 (02:26):
The more you support us, the more we can support the
community.

SPEAKER_02 (02:29):
Yes, yes.
Like I said, because we needmore spaces like this.
Like the reason why we startedthe show, like we need more
spaces where people can justfreely talk about their
experiences as black and queerindividuals.

SPEAKER_04 (02:41):
Yeah.
And if you have any criticismsor any critiques, please let us
know.
We always want to be improvingthe show.
So of course, we'll be happy tohear anything.
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (02:49):
But you can like you can stick half that up your ass.
Um, I mean you're alreadyhalfway through there.
But yeah, no, we do want to hearsuggestions.
We want to make the show better,we want to hear critiques, we
want to know how we can make theshow better.
Yeah, we do.
Feedback to any degree.
Feedback, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I know, like I said, the lastepisode was a little shaky.

(03:10):
A little shaky.

SPEAKER_03 (03:12):
Shaky.
Why is it shaky?
Because the the technicaldifficulties.

SPEAKER_04 (03:16):
So this time, we should be all good.
Yeah, we should be all good.

SPEAKER_02 (03:22):
Trey was like, I got we give it 10 minutes today.
Right.
We should, yeah, we were we wason crunch time, y'all.
Trying to get in here because Ihad my little, I had my had my
therapy appointment just nowtoday.
Stay busy.
Stay busy, ho.
So, like I said, last episodewas about mental health, so
interesting.
So, yeah, so I had to make surewe got here in time to record
and do our thing because we areon a a time crunch.

(03:45):
Always, yeah.
Yeah, so but yeah, it's it'snice.
While we have that time, how areyou doing today, Trey?
I'm good.
Um, today was a weird daybecause uh at my job the the
power went out yesterday duringtesting, like the end of your
testing.
Yeah.
And so we they decided to useour hallway for the testing

(04:08):
rooms for the people that needto make up their testing.

SPEAKER_04 (04:10):
The hallway?

SPEAKER_02 (04:12):
Like the classrooms.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah, no, that's good.
So I had to um we all had to goin the gym.
Everyone that came to schoolthat was a seventh grader had to
go into the gym.
And that was it was alright byme.
They didn't do anything, theydidn't act crazy, crazy.
I mean, they were like a littleantsy, but like the um the one
of the teachers decided to takehalf the cla half the people

(04:32):
that are in there outside thatwanted to go outside.
And so half of them wentoutside.
So I ended up, I was watching amovie.
I watched Kung Fu Panda 3.

SPEAKER_04 (04:41):
I'm sorry.
Oh, when you say you, you'retold it's just you.

SPEAKER_02 (04:43):
You're talking about me on my computer.

SPEAKER_04 (04:44):
Like class.
You just you're just um beforeI'm about to watch.

SPEAKER_02 (04:50):
I watched Kung Fu Panda 3 and I watched the
beginning of Moana.

SPEAKER_04 (04:53):
Oh, wow, okay.
Uh if we find time for media, Isuppose.

SPEAKER_02 (04:56):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (04:57):
Why Kung Fu Panda 3?

SPEAKER_02 (04:59):
Because I just bought it, like it was a G movie
that I saw on YouTube thatwasn't that expensive, I guess.
Okay.
And I ended up buying it for mystudents so that whenever we're
like, it's a it's a boring dayor we're eating in the classroom
for lunch, I can put on a movie.
I bought the Kung Fu Panda 3, Ibought Moana, I bought Rio, I

(05:19):
bought the Polar Express, Ibought the Grinch, I bought a
whole different array of movies.
These are movies.
Just so they can have a choiceof what they want to watch.
I know it's not like new newmovies, but like it's still like
give them a choice to watchmovies.

SPEAKER_04 (05:32):
Considering where we are right now in media, um, I
would prefer older movies thannew ones.
Because it's it's lookinglooking a little iffy when it
comes to animation and uh justscripts and writers and stuff
like that.
It's just the industry right nowis in a very interesting
position.

SPEAKER_02 (05:48):
Yeah, I think there's a lot of shows that are,
like I said, talking about AI.
Like I feel like there's a lotof shows and things that are
written by AI.
I'm like, how are you gonna makea whole show written by AI?

SPEAKER_04 (06:00):
I have seen a couple of them, and I they're not too
big.
It's just that the biggest catchfor them right now is that
they're written or are made byAI.
That's their only appeal.
I'm going to pray that this ison the same level as an NFT and
all that shit back then, andit's gonna like die out because
people are gonna see how stupidit is.
Because that's that shit is likeaffecting uh everything.

(06:23):
Like it in its own way.
It's it's from what I've heardanyways, it's affecting a lot of
like the environment as well asjust every like everything we
create, everything we are.
Like it's like quite literallytaking away a lot of uh jobs and
stuff like that.
So it's like I'm hoping as muchas it doesn't seem like it right
now, I'm hoping that this wholejust this whole thing just dies

(06:45):
out and we get to be uh humansagain and argue about stuff that
actually fucking matters and notshit that is stupid.
But knowing America.
I know in America, but we're nothere to talk about America
today.

SPEAKER_02 (06:58):
Yeah, I think you're talking about the media.
I think that should be a goodepisode.
That's a good episode.

SPEAKER_04 (07:03):
Oh yeah, we do have a plan for that actually.
Oh, we do?
Yeah, it's called the Move toMedia.
Oh shit.
Okay.
I'm so glad I'm so glad I'm ableto remind you of a couple of
things too.
Yeah, that's good.
That's good that we have anepisode for that.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh my gosh.
It's gonna be reallyinteresting.
I am, I don't know if you knowthis, but I'm a really big fan
of like um media, animation, uhuh uh just like a lot of

(07:25):
different things.
Uh movies.
I'm a video game guy.
Yeah.
And you know, when you when I'veyou do the little hand thing,
what are you about to do?

SPEAKER_02 (07:33):
Yeah, because you're like a video game uh an
illustrator.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (07:37):
It's like it kind of does everything shtick.
Yeah.
If I had to have one, but yeah,I know.
So it's like I I can't wait to Ican't wait to get into that.
Yeah.
Hopefully, hopefully we have alittle bit of a guest for that
one.
Okay.
I'm look I'm looking forward toit.
You know, yeah.
Maybe.
Because I don't know.
I don't know if Trey's over herehas culture to talk about.

SPEAKER_02 (08:00):
I would love to learn.
I would love to ask questionsand learn more about it.
So yeah, that'll be fun.

SPEAKER_04 (08:05):
All right then.
Then I'll make that a promise.
When that episode comes out, notthis month, but you know, when
it comes.
Yeah.
Trey told me to stop making yourpromises.

SPEAKER_02 (08:12):
So I mean, shit.
I'm serious.
But like I love, I feel like weentice the listener with our
ideas about different episodesso they can get used to it and
they can like we have like someforeshadowing going on.
Like, bitch, this is going on.
This is this is serious.
We got a motherfucking show thatwe have a structure, we have
planned out episodes that wewant to do.

(08:33):
Like, this is some serious shit.
Very this ain't this ain't noplane that's gonna fucking fly
five feet and then fucking dieor crash.
Right.
No, this is some serious shit.
We are gonna get bigger andbetter every day.
Like we love it, and we'reexcited.
I'm excited to see where theshow's gonna take off to.

SPEAKER_04 (08:49):
Personally, yeah, I'm I'm right there with you.
I this is a essentially becominga part of our life now.
Yeah.
To where it's about to be like aregular thing.
So I'm looking forward to it.
Them drives back to Greensboroare gonna suck ass, you know,
because guys, but yeah, talkingabout yes at the fucking wazoo.

SPEAKER_02 (09:04):
Out the fucking wazoo.
I feel like we talked about itlast episode too.
I don't remember.

SPEAKER_04 (09:08):
I think we did.

SPEAKER_02 (09:09):
Well, prices are kind of high, so I wouldn't be
too surprised, but like, yeah,no, it's crazy.
Um we're not gonna go into thereasons why.

SPEAKER_04 (09:16):
If you know, you know.

SPEAKER_02 (09:17):
If you know, you know.
Cheeto, Cheeto.

SPEAKER_04 (09:21):
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (09:22):
Oh my God.
Yeah.
But anyways.

SPEAKER_04 (09:25):
Yeah, we have an actual thing to talk about
today, and it's gonna be reallyfun.
Um, if you're a gay person, youknow you you love um uh what do
you call it?
Intimacy.
You love, you love, what do youcall it?
Um, sex.
Bucking.
Yeah.
Bucking.
You're bucking.
Today, we're gonna talk aboutthose experiences.
Now, not wait, okay, I got it.

(09:47):
Nothing.

SPEAKER_02 (09:49):
Yeah, no, no, no, fucking.
We already talked about that inour first episode.
That was the first episode.

SPEAKER_04 (09:54):
You have to, we've we intimacy and sex, you have to
find them some way.
And there's some sort of mediumthat gets you to those avenues.
Yeah, and it's on the same typeof small device that you use to
look up the weather.
And unfortunately, the forecastfor these apps is nasty.

SPEAKER_02 (10:14):
Okay, yeah.
So, like I said, we're talkingabout the apps.
If that wasn't clear, we'retalking about the apps.
We're talking about the apps,we're talking about grinders,
our experiences with sniffies.
If you don't know what sniffyis, look it up.

SPEAKER_04 (10:27):
If we do you want to talk about um Tinder and all
that jazz?
Because that also is kind of apart of it.

SPEAKER_02 (10:32):
Yeah, I guess it's a part of the apps and how we
connect as people to other gaypeople, other queer people.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (10:39):
We have to definitely mention Tammy or
Tommy.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 (10:41):
Taeimi.

SPEAKER_04 (10:42):
I'm gonna call it Tammy the entire episode.
I'm gonna call it Tae Mi theentire episode.
We're both gonna just be pissed.
We're gonna we're both gonnajust be pissed.
Great.
Okay.
I'm not gonna be pissed.
Okay.
I'll say pressed bitch.
I don't give a damn.
What else?
All right.
Well.
Oh what?
I said ho.
Oh, you call me a hoe.
Okay, which is crazy becausesomeone will be on these apps

(11:03):
every other day.

SPEAKER_02 (11:04):
Oh, so now we're whore shaming.
Oh that's what's called sledshaming.
That's what we're gonna say.
Um how do you want to do this?
You want to start with like eachapp and like just talk about our
experience with each app?
Okay, yeah.
So let's get the big one out theway.
Grindr.

(11:24):
Okay, how do we how do you feelabout that?
How is how's that been for you?
Well, grindr, I lost myvirginity because of grinder.
Yep, same.
I can say that.
So it's it's I feel like everygay person, I can't say every
queer person, but I feel likeevery gay person has had some
type of relationship withGrindr.
Yeah.
It was just the thing.

(11:45):
I don't even know how I foundout about Grindr, but I just it
just popped up, not popped up onmy phone, but like like second.
But like I like I downloaded it,like, I don't even know if I had
the impression of like, oh, Idownloaded this specifically for
sex, or did I find download thisso I can find other gay people?
Right.
I don't know.
But I was like, I think like 16,I think.

SPEAKER_04 (12:07):
Was this wasn't this the same um time when you that
was your first experience?
So that same age is when you hadyour first experience with uh
broken car and shit.

SPEAKER_02 (12:15):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like we talked about in thefirst episode.
If you don't know what we'retalking about, look at the first
episode.
Um Being Quack AF.
I was like, what the fuck wasthe name of the first episode?
I can't remember.
But yeah, being quack AF.
Yeah, I know.
Being quack AF, um, we talkedabout it, and we're not so we're
not gonna talk about it again,but that was the first encounter
that I had with Grindr.
And I feel like I used it liketo find gay people, but I also I

(12:38):
think I did use it for Zag atthe beginning.
Yeah.
And there it okay, I think withmy uses of grinder, it
exponentially grew.
So like what did you say?
I'm sorry.
Exponentially grew.

SPEAKER_04 (12:52):
Okay, because you said exponentially.

SPEAKER_02 (12:54):
No, I the fuck I didn't.
Just because your bitch assdoesn't know what the fucking
word means.
And your your mind said, I don'tknow what the fuck you're
saying.
I did say exponential.
Whatever.
It exponentially grew to where II had sex when I was in uh I was

(13:16):
sixteen at the time.
In high school, and I didn't doit again until maybe like senior
year, I think it was.
I think that's when it was.
The next time it was senioryear.
So only two times while you werehere.
In col in high school, yeah.
Okay.
And then like in college, bitch,that shit flew sp spit off.

(13:38):
Took a life of its own.

SPEAKER_04 (13:39):
If you have a bar graph, uh just you know,
exactly.

SPEAKER_02 (13:43):
Exponential.
Straight up.
Right.
So with Grinder, Grindr, I feellike at the beginning wasn't it
wasn't advertised as just purelyas a sex app.

SPEAKER_04 (13:56):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (13:57):
Yeah.
I don't think when I first gotin high school, I was 2016.
I don't think it was necessarilyjust a sex app.

SPEAKER_04 (14:04):
It was like just a queer approach.

SPEAKER_02 (14:05):
A queer app to meet other queer people.
Right.
Yeah.
But then it's just like, well,what are you gonna do with these
people?
Of course, fuck.
But it it it was it grinder,like I said, grind has a lot of
potential, but what it is now isdefinitely like it's just a lot
of it's used for sex.

SPEAKER_04 (14:23):
And I think the way that they advertise it now,
because they didn't use youdidn't used to always advertise
it like this, but they nowadvertise it as the six app, you
know, like the yeah, where it'sjust like, hey, you're you're
going to meet people, you'regoing to fuck.

SPEAKER_02 (14:35):
It's like yeah, and now like I said, we can talk
about it, but like Madonna's onthere for some reason.
Right.
Like Madonna has a whole damnpartnership with Grindr.

SPEAKER_04 (14:45):
Madonna's watching you while you're fucking.

SPEAKER_02 (14:46):
Right, exactly.
But now I think Grindr is doingthat thing like that like the
other apps, like the othersocial media apps are doing,
like with Snapchat, Snapchat'swhole thing was stories, right?
Yeah.
Now everything has a story.
TikTok has stories, Instagramhas stories, Facebook has

(15:08):
stories, everything has stories.

SPEAKER_04 (15:09):
So Grindr has stories?

SPEAKER_02 (15:11):
No, Grindr doesn't have stories.
Okay.
But now Grindr has a mapfunction.

SPEAKER_04 (15:16):
Oh.

SPEAKER_02 (15:16):
Where you can kind of see where the everyone's at
on the map.
And like that is very comparableto Sniffy's.
Sniffy's whole stick is theirwhole map.
Like you just see a map ofpeople and where they're at and
where they are in relationshipto you and all that jazz.
But yeah, so I think withGrindr, like I said, now it's
becoming more of a sex app.
Like you're just using it purelyfor I feel like other people can

(15:37):
use it for other things.
Like they can actually connectand find community and stuff
like that.

SPEAKER_04 (15:42):
I certainly have.
I know for a fact I've madefriends uh through Grindr.
Now I can't say I still havethose friends, but I did have
good times with gay people atthe time and that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_02 (15:53):
I don't think I've met any friends off of Grinder.
They've just been purely likefuck buddies?
Yeah, just sex.
And maybe not even fuck buddies,like just sex.
Yeah, just like hookups.

SPEAKER_04 (16:03):
Like these aren't even like uh F UW FWB.
These aren't these aren't those.
They're just like okay, real.

SPEAKER_02 (16:10):
It's just been one-offs.
And I like I didn't startlooking for FWBs like I got a
little bit older.
I was like, you know what?
I'm tired of these one-offs.
Let me just do it moreconsistently with one person.

SPEAKER_04 (16:18):
But that's how I like, okay, so my experience
with Grindr, it was like alsoduring college, and I remember
that I hadn't done apps for avery long time.
I need to I need to let everyoneknow, right quick, 2016, I did
not have a digital footprint.
Like you could not find me atall.
I was 16 years old without anytype of digital footprint.

(16:41):
And it wasn't until much lateruh in high school where I kind
of got exposed to like socialmedia and whatever, like for
real, for real.
So I think it wasn't until likemaybe like um my what was it,
2017 when I first made aSnapchat, and that was because

(17:02):
of my whole thing.
And so I didn't even start likedoing dating anything until like
college time.
That was like maybe like 2019.
And that's because my friend wasintroduced to it and she was
used to it, and she was like,You should make one.
And it was like, oh yeah, sure,I'll do that.
And I was the first thing wasTender.
And then from there, um, I don'teven know how I remember running

(17:23):
into grinder, but I found it,and I remember my first
experience very well.
Okay, because I got on the app,and then immediately a bunch of
people texted me.
Like a bunch of people saw me.

SPEAKER_02 (17:34):
He's fine as fuck, y'all.
He's getting all these niggas inhis motherfucking DM.

SPEAKER_04 (17:38):
Yeah.
Well, um, very, very young JJ atthat time did not want any of
that.
How old were you?
Uh let's say 18, 19.
Okay.
Because we're still we this islike starting in college.
Like fresh in college, okay.
Um so I'm like 18, 19.
I got all these text messages, Iimmediately delete the app.
Like I'm not on that shitanymore.

(17:58):
I was like, oh my god.
And then I remember, I was like,well, I kind of want, I kind of
want something.
And so I got back on the app.
And from then on out, I had myown experiences, a lot of
different things and whatnot.
But for I for sure I could saythat I'm one of those people who
has like, I have been addictedto that app, and it did become a

(18:20):
problem for a point.
And it wasn't until I made aspecific connection with
somebody where I strayed awayfrom apps like that in general
at all.
And it was like, wow, okay.
And it it it became like a partof my life where it was like now
I I realize I don't really needthose types of apps.
Uh which is funny because rightback today, I'm not on grinder

(18:41):
and I'm not like ontainer oranything like that.
Because nowadays I can I candefinitely see like those are
not for me.
Like I remember last year when Iwas spiraling, I had an instance
where I was like, you know what,frick it.
I'm gonna go back on grinder.
And I got it back on grinder andI was like, I'm not even here.
I don't even want this for real.
And then that's when I realized,like, yeah, no, what you like

(19:02):
what I used to try and stopmyself to do, I no longer have
to put effort into it.
I don't want to anymore.
I don't want to have to dealwith that.
And I think right now in in thisinstance, I don't want to say
that my friends have bad badinfluences, but it is like
interesting to see like myfriends like you and Obsidian
and be like, you know, I kind ofwant some of that.
And I I kind of got back onsniffies.

(19:24):
And being uh being on sniffies,actually talking about that
really quickly because I do wantto talk about that as well.
I where did that come from?
When did that start?
Because Sniffies?
Yes.

SPEAKER_02 (19:34):
Okay, so this is how I learned about sniffies.
There was a TikTok that wentviral because this girl, this
woman, was getting all theseweird guys coming to her
apartment.

SPEAKER_04 (19:47):
Oh, yum.

SPEAKER_02 (19:48):
And she made a TikTok video about it.
She was like talking about theseto these guys.
She's like, Why are all theserandom guys just coming to my
apartment?
And the guy told her aboutsniffies, and she said that the
guy must be using the wrongaddress or something.
The wrong apartment address.
Okay.
So she didn't have a husband orsomething like that.
No, I do a little secret.
I think she was by herself.

(20:09):
I think she's living by herself.

SPEAKER_04 (20:10):
Yeah, so it was like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 (20:11):
So that's how I found out about sniffies.
But I want to go back to whatyou were saying earlier before
we go on.
Okay, sorry.
No, you're fine.
A lot of people, a lot of queerpeople use the apps as a form of
their social connectedness.
So they connect other people.
Yeah.
And you're saying you were youwere addicted to it at one

(20:32):
point.

SPEAKER_04 (20:32):
Yes.
Like it became a thing where Icouldn't stop myself from like
constantly checking it.
And I used to havenotifications, I would always
check a notification, that sortof thing.

SPEAKER_02 (20:40):
So now, as somebody that doesn't use the apps as
frequently, how do you connectwith other queer people?

SPEAKER_04 (20:47):
I am literally in social spaces.
Like I'm just so uh I go toevents in public or I volunteer,
something like that.
And most of the places that I'vebeen to, believe it or not, more
queer people are there.
Like there are just queer peoplein spaces.
So if you're looking for it, youcan find it.
Um it's just a matter of havingthat bravery to actually pursue
like talking to someone inpublic.

(21:09):
That's that's the thing.
That's really hard to do.
Yeah.
Because I In comparison to anapp.
Yeah, that's the thing.

SPEAKER_02 (21:15):
Well, the app is very easy.
It's very quick, it's very fast,very I like you, you like me,
let's fuck.
Let's meet.
Yeah.
It's very quick.
But meeting somebody in person,like it's a lot more, there's a
lot more nuance to it.
There's a lot more conversationsthat need to be had.
And you can't even really tellif the person's like into you
like that.
Right.
You don't even know if they'regay yet.

unknown (21:34):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (21:34):
Or if you do, like you still don't have to.
So I remember we went to thatconcert for is it fifth floor?

SPEAKER_04 (21:41):
It was fifth floor, low a low b uh lowborn and
bedroom deficient.

SPEAKER_02 (21:46):
That was my first concert, like a little like my
first that was my first likeclose concert like that.
And I was like, damn, I want todo this for sure.
I want to do this.
Yes.
But there was a guy there thatwas really cute.
He had like a nice jet.
Do you remember him?
I remember.
You almost called him out.
Did I?
You almost like, oh, you'retalking about him?
You talking about him?
You talking about him?
Like, damn, bitch.

SPEAKER_04 (22:07):
You know me.
I gotta troll you at Luis.

SPEAKER_02 (22:09):
Right.
He was really cute, and I wasinterested in him, but like he
was probably a little bit olderthan me.
He's probably I was 24, 25.
I had to be 25 at the time.
It just seemed like a long timeago, but I had to be 25 at the
time.
I was 25 at the time.
Exactly.
So I had to be 25 at the time.
So I was 25.
He might have been maybe almost30, which isn't really that big
of a difference.

(22:30):
Are you like telling from likehow he what he looked like?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (22:33):
Okay, so you're just like inferring from what he
looked like.
Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 (22:36):
And so he was attractive.
I I showed interest in him, butlike I don't think it was more
like a I feel like he was justbeing nice, not like in a pity
way, like sympathy way.
But I feel like I don't know,there could have been something
there if I pursued him a littlebit more, but he didn't give me
any signs like, oh, back off,bitch.
I'm not fucking gay.
See, exactly.
I was not trying to say thatword, but there we go.

(22:58):
But yeah, he didn't, he didn't,um, he didn't give me those
vibes.
Okay.
So he just seemed like he seemedlike a cool guy, but yeah.
Yeah.
But anyways, I was talking aboutlike having more conversations
in in public with people andmeeting people in public.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (23:11):
And just having that type of confidence in yourself
to just do that, make friends,make that sort of thing.
And that's kind of what Ipursue.
But the thing the thing about itis when it comes to apps, you
know.
Quotations on this shit, becauseI don't believe in this, but you
know you're on there for sex.
Everyone's on there for sex.
So like you want in the public,you can't just ask someone for

(23:34):
sex up front.
Dick pic.

SPEAKER_02 (23:36):
You can't just whip out your dick in front of people
in public.
Exactly.
Right.
Because you can send a dick picto somebody on the app.

SPEAKER_04 (23:43):
Let me put it on the air, what is it called?
Aircloud, Eric.
Send them a fucking thing on theiPhone.
You got a little aircloud.
What is it called?

SPEAKER_02 (23:50):
Airdrop?
Airdrop a dick pic?
Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_03 (23:54):
Yeah, airdrop a dick pic.

SPEAKER_02 (23:55):
That's a little scary.
Because you can accidentallyscare airdrop it's everybody
that has airdrop on.

SPEAKER_03 (24:00):
Oh, are you serious?
Like everyone just see it?

SPEAKER_02 (24:02):
Everyone that has their airdrop on?
Yeah, you can accidentally, ifyou don't click airdrop to
specific people, yeah.
Oh, that's hilarious.
Like that happened.
This is going on rangent,Tamble, tangent.

SPEAKER_04 (24:14):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (24:15):
There was a there was a person at my school.
Do I really want to go into thisdoor?
I do want I don't think I wantto go into it.

SPEAKER_04 (24:21):
You already don't mention it now.

SPEAKER_02 (24:22):
Yeah, I guess I don't know what I mean now.
There was a student at my schoolthat was, it was two years ago.
She I'm just gonna say it.
She performed Felatio on a dog.

(24:53):
Like just and not only did shedo that, she recorded herself
doing it.
And not only did she do that andrecord herself doing it, she
sent it to somebody.
And not only did she recordherself, not only did she do

(25:14):
that, she recorded herself doingthat, she sent it to somebody,
she sent it to somebody thatwas, I guess, was wanted to see
the chaos, and airdropped it toeverybody in the school that had
their airdrop on.

unknown (25:30):
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 (25:32):
This is at your school.

SPEAKER_02 (25:32):
This is at my school, yeah.
It's like so like actual, realYeah.
I'm not gonna say the school.
Don't say yeah, don't but yeah,that happened two years ago.

SPEAKER_04 (25:42):
How did she survive socially after that?

SPEAKER_02 (25:44):
It was so embarrassing.
She had to leave the school.
She the only reason why, likeshe was she's about to fight the
girl that was that airdroppedthe video to everybody.
And she it wasn't my student, bythe way.
It wasn't my student that it wasmy student that sent the video
to everybody.
Let's do it never.

(26:05):
But no, that's the thing.
It was my student that sent thevideo to everybody.
Uh but it wasn't my student thatactually did the stuff in the
video.
Right.
So she, like you said, sheairdropped to everybody.
Everybody had their airdrop on.
Everybody that had their airdropon that was able to accept it
from everybody or anybody.

(26:27):
No, I have it on contact only.
And I'm gonna keep it on contactonly because of this very
specific ass fucking story.
Because that's craziness.
That is because then you startgetting into like just the
implications of like having iton your phone and like it's it's
getting out there, people sendit to everybody.
It was craziness.

SPEAKER_04 (26:47):
15 different questions popped in my head as
soon as you finished talkingabout the student sending it.
Because how did she even acquireit?

SPEAKER_01 (26:59):
Like I said, the girl took a video.
Who did the video sent it toher.

SPEAKER_04 (27:04):
To the your student, yes.
And the student not only didn'tgive a fuck about her
personality or her privacy orwhatever.
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (27:11):
She was like, Woo! Right.
And then like that, we'refucking, and it happened, it
happened, I guess, the nightbefore, and or the day of, that
morning of the day of, I had a Ihad a fucking meeting.
And it's like Was the meetingabout that?
No, the meeting was about it wasa it was a different meeting.
It was like a peer meeting.
So it was like it happened, Ithink, during that meeting when

(27:34):
she sent it to everybody.
And so I remember my AP calledin the girl to talk about it
with her, and this, that, andthe third.
That's when I found out aboutit.
I was like, oh, the fuck?
On a dog?
What the hell?

SPEAKER_04 (27:51):
You know how embarrassing a situation like
that is just with a human.

SPEAKER_02 (27:54):
Tell me why.
Tell me why the kids in thecafeteria, when she was walking
by, started barking at her.
Like, for real.
Like it was craziness.
It was it was a crazy ass day.
It was so crazy.

(28:16):
Like, she would literally walkinto the cafeteria, they all
started barking.
I was like, what the fuck isgoing on right now?
We're in the fucking TwilightZone.

SPEAKER_04 (28:24):
This is this is unreal.
This does not sound real.

SPEAKER_02 (28:28):
It's real as fuck.

SPEAKER_04 (28:29):
Like, that does not sound like an actual thing that
happened.

SPEAKER_02 (28:32):
Yeah.

unknown (28:32):
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 (28:34):
Yeah.
I why did you just change yourglasses?

SPEAKER_04 (28:40):
Don't mention it in the audio version.
Oh my god.
Okay, well.
I changed my glasses for alittle bit.
Yeah.
I have an eye thing going on.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 (28:48):
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I gotta say.
But anyways, that's why I don'thave an airdrop on.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (28:52):
And I would have it on just to see if that's sort of
that shortest shortest.
Fuck it.
I would have it on just to seeif that happens.
Because what the fuck?
That sounds amazing.

SPEAKER_02 (29:02):
No.
I'm gonna sob right there.
Because no, because that fallsunder the category.
We don't need to get deep intoit, but that falls in the
category of fucking CP.
Oh, okay.
Well yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (29:14):
So that's it.
No, no, because okay, okay.
I'm thinking of like other, it'sjust not specifically this one.
That just sounds disgusting onall degrees.

SPEAKER_02 (29:23):
Right, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (29:24):
It's just like wild shit can just happen like that
on your airdrop, and that's justinsane to me.

SPEAKER_02 (29:29):
That's why I have it off.
I don't want shit like thatcoming up on my fucking phone.

SPEAKER_03 (29:33):
Why would anyone even have that on?

SPEAKER_02 (29:34):
I don't know.
Like I said, they're 12 and 13.
I don't know.
But it was it was crazy.
It was crazy as day.
It was crazy.

SPEAKER_04 (29:42):
Yeah.
No, that sounds that sounds ohmy God.
I feel so far.
Sorry for it.

SPEAKER_02 (29:47):
It was wild.
Um but anyways, going back toapps.

SPEAKER_04 (29:50):
Yeah, I get back to the app that's the reason why I
don't have my eardrop on.
How do we even get to that?
We can't.
Because I mentioned the idea oflike actually going out and
meeting people in person.
Yeah, you can't just ask forsex.
You need to properly like get tounderstand the person, get to
know the person, and then youknow, sex kind of happens on its
own.
Um but with apps, you're there.
Quotations for sex.

SPEAKER_02 (30:10):
So it's like so that was grind.
I think grinder is mainly a sexapp.
It doesn't have to be a sex app,but it's mainly a sex app.

SPEAKER_04 (30:18):
Yeah.
And other apps are as well.
Yeah.
It's because of just thecommunity.
I don't want to blame thecommunity, but we we we have in
our expectations, we have ourthings where it's just like,
yeah, I kind of want this.
I don't even know what the dealis, really.
I can't even say because I'm notreally popular uh uh contrary to

(30:38):
popular belief.
I'm not like the biggest sexperson.
I'm just like, I just get to dothings and meet people.
I like to meet people, is mything.
So it's just like I can't reallyunderstand why um things are so
sex-centric when it comes toapps.
But people are horny.

SPEAKER_02 (30:50):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (30:51):
Men are horny.
And I guess it's also like youdon't get to really do that with
people in the same way that umpeople, straight people would.

SPEAKER_02 (30:58):
Right.
And like I said, there there arelike, what's the word?
Not stigmas, but not biases orsix, seven?
No, yeah, right.
If I go out to a bar, like ifpeople go out, if straight
people go out to a straight bar,I feel like they're they would
have more easier a easier timefinding sex.
They're more likely to get tosomething at the end of the day.

(31:19):
Right.
To get to somebody becausethey're all there for them, not
all there, but most of them arethere to have sex too.
The inclination.
Like there's the idea has beenover drinking and getting
loosey-goosey.
Yeah, I get to have a littlefun.
Right, right, right.
So that that's why I think thatit's a little bit easier for
straight people to be to not useapps.
But I think straight people useapps too.
They use Tinder, they use theother straight apps.

(31:41):
Um yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (31:42):
That's that's one of the questions that popped up in
my head before, because it waslike, are you it's like the only
straight app that people reallyuse just Tinder?
Like I'm wondering, becausethere has to be more.
There can't just like becauseobviously, if this idea of sex
has been so ingrained in inmales, is in well, sorry, more
in so in gay people, then it'slike, of course.

SPEAKER_02 (32:05):
I'm sorry, these glasses are given Willy Wonka.
I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 (32:09):
It is the Willy Wonka from um the TikTok from
back in like 2000 something,2020.
You know, you know, 2020 WillyWonka?
He was like horny Willy Wonka.
You know about that?
No.
Okay, so long story short, therewas like a white guy who was
dressed up as Willy Wonka, buthe would have his shirt open.
People were like really into it.
I think his name was like Dukeor something.
It was like a whole popularname.
Anyways, I'm gonna stay WillyWonka today.

(32:30):
Right.
Uh as you should.
As I should.

unknown (32:34):
Alright.

SPEAKER_04 (32:35):
But yeah, no.
Um there's I feel like a companywould capitalize off of that.
Like the idea that, you know,some people are just looking for
sex, straight people quotation.
So it's like, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (32:46):
I there's like, it just feels impossible that it's
I feel like I feel like there'slike this ill, a sex app.
Like, I don't think there wouldbe, there would be a stigma
behind it.
That's why I don't think there'slike an actual straight app for
it.
People use Tinder, like Tinder,we can talk about Tinder next.

(33:06):
People use Tinder for sex apps.
Like, I feel like straightpeople use Tinder as a sex app.

SPEAKER_04 (33:10):
I want to talk about Tinder actually because oh my
fucking God.
Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02 (33:17):
Because like I said, I feel like a lot of straight
people, especially straightguys, will just swipe right on
everybody.
When you say right on, is rightthe good one?
Yeah.
Oh, that's the one.
I think it is, yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah, you swipe, excuse me.
You swipe right on everybody,and then just whoever matches,
if I like them, I like them.
If I don't, fuck it.
I'm not gonna message you.
Crazy mentality.
Right.
That's a lot of people have thementality.
A lot of straight people havethe mentality, and a lot of gay

(33:38):
people have the mentality.
Queer people have the mentality.
Is that why I got all my swipes?
Because god damn.
But yeah, Tinder.
I actually I actually met afriend on Tinder.

unknown (33:49):
Oh.

SPEAKER_02 (33:50):
Uh yeah, we I'm just we could talk.
Yeah, I met a friend on Tinder.

SPEAKER_04 (33:54):
Incognito in this?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (33:56):
Okay, I got you.
There's no need to, I mean, no.
Yeah.
That's awkward as fuck.
We didn't come up with a nameframe, so I don't know.
This is why.
Yeah.
This is why I like it.
But yeah, I just met a friend onTinder and it was it was a good
friend for the time being.
It kind of ended weird.
But um Do you know what I'mtalking about?
Do I should I know who you'retalking about?

(34:17):
Yes, you should know who I'mtalking about.
So yeah, it it was a goodfriendship while it lasted, but
I just it just ended like I'mnot on a good note.
I mean that was through Tinder.
Yeah, it was Tinder.
Okay, okay, real, real, real.

SPEAKER_04 (34:28):
Actually, I recall because they shared their
experience with you and liketheir like how you guys met or
whatever, and you guys went outfor like a single thing, and
then that uh the next time wegot to meet them.

SPEAKER_02 (34:38):
Yeah, we decided to just be friends.
I feel like I don't think thatwas clearly stated.

SPEAKER_04 (34:41):
Yeah, I was gonna say I don't think you guys were
interested in each other in thatway.

SPEAKER_02 (34:44):
I don't think I I think we're just interested like
friends-wise.

SPEAKER_04 (34:47):
Yeah, okay, okay.
Yeah, so you kept telling me.
I remember the first few weeksyou were like, yeah, I think
we'll just be friends.

SPEAKER_02 (34:51):
I'm like, Yeah.
But like I said, I don't think Icommunicated with that with him
specifically, and maybe I shouldhave been a little bit more
clear, and that would have maybehelped some things.
Maybe I don't know.
I don't know.
But like I said, I met him onTinder.
Like I said, I started talkingto all these different guys on
Tinder, but like half of themwould be wouldn't text back.
This one guy I matched onTinder, like I would send

(35:14):
messages.
I think we talked about thisbefore, maybe off camera, but we
are off the off camera now.
Off mic.

SPEAKER_04 (35:21):
You I think you actually mentioned this in the
first episode.
Up to date gaze, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (35:25):
Up to date, yeah.
So just uh he would I wouldmessage this long ass message,
he would just like the messageand just nothing, like we have
not talked ever since.
And I'm just like, I'm not gonnabe the one.
I'm and this goes for all apps,all people.
I'm not gonna be the one thatalways initiates the
conversation.
Right.
I can't be the one because ifyou're interested in me, there

(35:46):
should be a back and forth,there should be some
communication going on.

SPEAKER_04 (35:48):
Quite a little.

SPEAKER_02 (35:49):
And with Tinder, I haven't really had those
experiences.
I have, I think I've had betterexperiences with people because
they're not just looking forsex.
Like when I meet people onTinder, like they're not just
looking for sex.
Right.
Yeah.
The gay people that I'vemessaged on Tinder, they weren't
looking for just sex, they'relooking for more of a connection
and like some communication,like conversation.

(36:10):
That's what it's conversation.

SPEAKER_04 (36:11):
That's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 (36:12):
Yeah.
But I feel like you've had adifferent experience, dude.

SPEAKER_04 (36:15):
Please.
Okay, so about a couple monthsago, I had decided to get back
on Tinder like very temporarily.
Um, and I was having a reallybad day.
And I was texting, I I was onTinder and texted the guy for a
little bit, and I was like,okay, a cool vibe or whatever.

(36:35):
He was gay.
And you won't believe thequestions bro was asking first.
Go around.
Hey, after a while, you wouldtop or a bottom, talk about sex.
Like, ooh, you know, you could,you could, you could write my
pussy or something.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Can I say that on the podcast?
Can I say that on the podcast?
Can I say pussy on the podcast?

(36:55):
Yeah, we already have and you'reokay.
Can I say pussy?
Oh shit.
I probably should take thelittle dangle off.
Is this my Willy Wonka?
The dangle.
Can you have the dangle?
Um, but yeah, no.
Dude was asking about sex, andit was the funniest thing to me
because I was like, of course.
On the one app where I actuallyam looking for a genuine
connection, I find just more gaypeople looking for sex.

(37:17):
And that just kept happening.
And it happened, and I'm tryingto recall any moments where I
did I had one uh or maybe, yeah,I know.
I've only met really one personon Tinder before I actually like
went into dating them.
That was like for a year or so.
And everyone after that was likea casual friend, or maybe a

(37:38):
friend that we would like do sexstuff over the phone or
something like that.
Like it just kind of became sex,okay.
Yeah, it be kind of it justbecame a thing.
Or you know, Snapchat, that sortof thing.
But yeah, yeah.
It became just a thing of justsex, and it always kind of ended
that way.
And it that always bothers me,just how sex-centric gay people
just become.
Like, like it's just like anexpectation now, and I hate it.

(37:59):
I don't know if that's likerecent how it is, or if it's
like maybe I've just run intothe wrong people.

SPEAKER_02 (38:06):
I don't know.
Like I would say it's the apps,but I wouldn't say like Tinder
would be a sex app for gaypeople.
I feel like maybe they do use, Ifeel like other people might
think other things.
But me, my personal experience,I have not used Tinder for sex,
I've used Tinder for aconversation and meeting other
people.

SPEAKER_04 (38:24):
Have you run into gay people and they're like,
hey, sex stuff?

SPEAKER_02 (38:27):
No, like never.
Well, how often?

SPEAKER_04 (38:30):
Not on Tinder.

SPEAKER_02 (38:30):
Okay, no, on Tinder on Hinge.
I have met this one guy.
He was like, he just we messedwe were talking on Instagram,
and I stopped talking to him andhe just sent a dick pic out of
nowhere.
I was like, oh.
Right.
Um, but I think that was justbecause I didn't.
He was like, I guess he waslike, well, he hasn't responded

(38:52):
to me, so I might as well justsend a fucking dick pic.
Might as well.
So that's what he sent.

SPEAKER_04 (38:56):
I guess it's just because of like expectation,
just like, oh, if I send a dickpic, we can change this
conversation to something else.

SPEAKER_02 (39:01):
Right.
Maybe I can actually link upwith you.
And it's just like, no,especially because the dick pic
wasn't even that good.
Hate to see it.

SPEAKER_04 (39:07):
Hate to see it.
Can we talk about dick pics?

SPEAKER_02 (39:09):
Yeah, we can.

SPEAKER_04 (39:10):
Because okay.

SPEAKER_02 (39:11):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (39:11):
Well, we are talking about the apps actually, and uh
primarily for us um gay peopleout there and other queer people
as well.
Dick picks are uh solicited orunsolicited.
There are ugly ones and therewere there are good ones.
Right.
Um boy, on Grinder, you will seesome of the ugliest dicks you've
ever seen in your life.

SPEAKER_02 (39:27):
Yeah.
The most fucking dry, pasty,they don't be thinking at all.
Fucking half soft, like justcurved, like not even a good
looking curve, just like a lazyass dick pic.

SPEAKER_04 (39:44):
What are you trying to give?
What message do you want me toget?
You want me to get off to this?
Right.
Of all things.
Like, you want me to try?
Right.
Like, oh god.
Yeah.
I can't say I'm like, oh, dickpic expertise down here, but
like, I I know a thing or twoabout how to make my dick look
good.
What the I've just uh and youknow, of course, now Sniffy's

(40:04):
newer newer edge, you can justhave your dick as the profile
picture.

SPEAKER_02 (40:08):
So it's like But not anymore.
Oh shit, what?
Because you have to well, notanymore in North Carolina, I
think.
Oh, it might be somethingbecause this whole thing where
like I think it's a whole thingwhere you can't like how porn is
getting like locked.
Oh god.

SPEAKER_04 (40:23):
Where you can't I I feel like it's underneath that
guy.

SPEAKER_02 (40:27):
Like you have to at least have your profile picture
be like something like somethingthat's not sex related.
Something that's not a sexualorgan.
Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04 (40:35):
I wouldn't know because I don't have my dick on
there at all.
You know, because I'm notridiculous.
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (40:42):
He said, he said, he said ridiculous, y'all.
He said ridiculous.

SPEAKER_02 (40:47):
What the hell?
What the hell?

SPEAKER_04 (40:50):
Okay, but that's sniffies.
I mean, there's more stories tothat, of course.
And there's Tinder, there's morestories to that, of course.
And there's grinder.

SPEAKER_02 (40:58):
I feel like grinder, like I said, is more of a sex
app.

unknown (41:02):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (41:02):
Tinder, I feel like is more of a connection.
Sexual dating app.
Yeah, dating app.
Literally.
Sniffies, straight up fucking.
Like literally always sex.
Straight up.
That's the only.
I like I said, when you saidthat you got on the Civis to
look for somebody to cuddle, Iwas like, girl, what?

SPEAKER_04 (41:20):
But you know why I'm there.
It's not really because of like,oh, you know, I want to cuddle
and then run into sex.
I'm and it's like a thing ofjust like I understand what the
app is itself.
It was just one of the easierones.
I'm not trying to explain myselffor real for real.
You get the idea.
But it's just like, yeah, Ireally shouldn't be on Sniffy's
looking for cuddling, but hey.

(41:40):
I found it.
Okay, yeah, he did, y'all.
He did.
But yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (41:44):
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (41:45):
I cut one, Mama.
I cut one.

SPEAKER_02 (41:46):
Okay, yeah.
But yeah, that's what that'swhat Sniffies is all about.
Straight up cruising.
Actual cruising, yeah.
That's a cruising app for you.
Literally.
And it's interesting that theymade a whole app for it used to
be an app app.
I did not know about that.

SPEAKER_04 (42:00):
I actually ran into Sniffies because of porn.
Like I was on a porn site andthen I saw Sniffies and I was
like.

SPEAKER_02 (42:04):
Yeah, I think it used to be, I don't quote me on
this.
I think it used to be app app,because I think uh one of my
friends, I think, had it likedownload on his phone, but like
when it's deleted from the appstore, you can't download it
anymore.
But like if it's alreadydownloaded on your phone, it
still stays on their phone.

SPEAKER_04 (42:22):
Question mark?

SPEAKER_02 (42:23):
Are you saying like the old version of this or what
is this?
Like the app sniffies, uh huh.
If you download it while it wason the app store, it stays on
your phone even if it's takenoff the app store.
Now people can't downloadanymore, like there are no more
updates or anything like that.
But the app still app stillworks if it was already on your
phone.

SPEAKER_04 (42:42):
If it's still on your phone, you can still use it
and you know, access theprecision.

SPEAKER_02 (42:45):
But I don't think it was on for that long because it
is a hookup app.
And I like I said that illhookups, ill, that's not okay.
I think there's a stigma behindit.

SPEAKER_04 (42:55):
Yeah, and uh I I I honestly I don't want to say I
don't encourage that because youknow sex positivity is
important.
You should be okay with havingsex, and I can't advocate for
having sex so amazing.
Okay.
Uh, but I'm just like, damn, youknow, I I I I'm just a person

(43:16):
looking for getting to know gaypeople and sometimes on
boyfriend vibes.
So it's like, you know.
Um, but those are those that'ssniffies, that's grinders,
that's um, what's it called?
Tinder.

SPEAKER_02 (43:29):
Tinder.

SPEAKER_04 (43:30):
Now let's talk about other ones.
Actually, more boring ones, infact.
Why?
Can you tell me about your hingeyour hinge um uh uh experience?
Oh hinge?
Yes, please.

SPEAKER_02 (43:41):
So hinge is interesting because you can see
the likes.
So that's you know what I'mtalking about.
They let you text the I don'tlike to take the I They don't
let you text them though, right?
Yeah, they do.
If you match them, yeah.
Like if you but if you you'llsee the like you can see your
likes and you can match them andthen you can start texting them.
Like that's yeah, that's HowHinge works.
It's designed to be deleted.

(44:03):
That's the whole shit.
So with Hinge, there was oneguy, he was he was cuter in the
pictures that were on Hinge.

SPEAKER_04 (44:12):
Damn.
Oh, what the fuck?
Love to hear that.
Oh.

SPEAKER_02 (44:15):
He was cuter on the pictures um on Hinge.
But then when I saw him on hisInstagram, where you see a lot
more pictures, a lot moreangles, a lot more active.
And it's just like, eh, I don'tknow.
Yeah, he wasn't doing all that.
Yeah, he wasn't doing all thatfor me anymore.

SPEAKER_04 (44:31):
Did you get to see him in person?

SPEAKER_02 (44:32):
No, I was not gonna see him in person.

SPEAKER_04 (44:34):
Oh, you so you got matched with him on Hinge, and
then you went to check out hisInstagram, and you were like,
got back up.

SPEAKER_02 (44:41):
Yeah, but I gave him a little bit of a chance.
He started testing back andforth, this, that, and the
third.
But then I guess I guess I justfell out.
I just fell out of interest.
Like I just got uninterested.
So I just stopped texting him.
And I I don't know what are youlike, what are you supposed to
do?
What are you supposed to saywith that?
Like I've understood you, I'mstill gonna stop talking to you,
like, or just ghost them.

SPEAKER_04 (44:58):
That's the worst part of the culture.
Like it's like when people don'tsay anything, they prefer to not
say anything and just ghostpeople.
Yeah.
Like that ghosting has becomesuch a big part of like I think
texting culture in general thatit's like, goddamn, it's it it
leads to I I wanna say likepain, trauma, that sort of
thing.

(45:18):
And we continue to do it.
Like that's it's the easiest wayto stop something without really
stopping it.
Right.
And it's just like I don't, Ican't get down with that.
I used to be like that, and thenone time I had a always I had an
epiphany where I was like, I'mno longer gonna ghost anybody.
I'm just gonna tell them if I'mnot interested, that sort of
thing.

SPEAKER_02 (45:36):
So what do you say?
You just like in my situation,we were texting back and forth,
and I got bored.
I'm like, I'm not interested inyou anymore.
Like, what would you do?

SPEAKER_04 (45:43):
Say those exact words like hey, um I I would
have loved to give us a chanceor something.
No, no, no, no, no.
Let me not say that.
Look, I'm not interested in theway that I thought I was, I'm
gonna just end things, sort ofthing.
Move move that, just move thatforward.
Just let people know, hey, I'mnot interested at at all.
Just make that straightapparent.
Because the idea, I guess,behind ghosting is this is it's

(46:06):
this silent goodbye.
It's like the nice way of doingthings.
It's not as messy.
Because if you tell someone thatyou're not gonna be there
anymore, you in this way have toexperience whatever kind of like
grief they have over that, or ifanything, like their emotions
about it, you have to experiencethat to some degree.
And so it's just like if you gosomeone, you don't have to

(46:28):
experience anything because youhaven't said anything.
And the most that you'll seeagain is like another text from
them, and then you'll be like,I'll have to ignore that now,
and that sort of thing.
And I'm just like it is better,you're you're a better human
being if you were to tell peoplethat you're not gonna talk to
them, because then youunderstand you have that, you
have that, let me say empathy,sympathy, fuck, I keep confusing
the two.
You have that empathy of theirfeelings, and just like, I I

(46:50):
made this choice, I wanna letyou know because I'm an adult
that I made this choice, keep itclean, keep it simple, we're
gonna keep moving.
And most of the time when I'vedone that, people have just
accepted it and we've separatedseparated our ways, especially
on dating apps and stuff likethat.
Yeah.
Um, there have been, of course,some messy times.
Um, and when it comes to me andrejection, or I thought it was a

(47:11):
big dick when I say this, butlike when it comes to me and
rejecting others, um it it itdoes get a little messy because
feelings are there and peopletend to feel like they were let
on in some regards or somethinglike that.
But um it it still is acceptedand we moved on forward and that
sort of thing.
So it's just like prefer to behonest with people over just

(47:36):
choosing silent dishonesty.

SPEAKER_02 (47:38):
Yeah, because if the shoe was on the other foot, I
think I would prefer someoneit's like if I was texting back
before somebody and it seemedlike they were interested and
all of a sudden they just stoptexting, I would be like, hmm,
that's a question mark.
That's weird.

SPEAKER_04 (47:49):
And the thing about that is it's it's a subconscious
thing.
It becomes a subconscious thingwhere you don't think it in that
moment it does it really affectsyou, but over time, where more
and more of that insta justkeeps happening, it's like you
you be you you are affected bythat.
And I can say confidently that Ihave been affected by just being
ghosted by people or somethinglike that.
Yeah.
I'm better about it now, butit's just like still like some

(48:12):
things linger, and I'm like,damn, that sucks.
Some things didn't really go theway that you would want them to.
It would have been better forthe person to just be honest
about where they were at withthat.
Yeah.
And uh, but yeah, no.
Hinge to me, hinge is boring asfuck.
Is it boring?
Yes.
It's like it goes dry out.

SPEAKER_02 (48:29):
By the way, like sorry.
But no, you're fine.
You but with that guy, like Isaid, I just ghosted him, I just
stopped texting him.

SPEAKER_04 (48:35):
Right, you're a bad cursor.

SPEAKER_02 (48:36):
Then all huh?
You're a terrible person.
Okay, bitch.
And then all of a sudden, hejust sent a dick pic on
Instagrams.
Oh.
Like he was the one that I justI ghosted him, and all of a
sudden he just sent a dick picon Instagram.
I was like, he sent adisappearing picture.
So I was like, hmm, what's this?

SPEAKER_03 (48:54):
I want to see it.

SPEAKER_02 (48:55):
I want to see what this is.
Right.
And of course, my I saw mytherapist about he was like, of
course it was a dick pic.
Of course he was a dick pic.
Why would you not fucking knowit was a fucking dick pic?
And I'm like, okay.
He was definitely on that typeof time.
I was like, girl, I didn't knowshit.
I thought it was a harmlessfucking thought or something.

SPEAKER_04 (49:12):
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but like he
could have sent a picture justto like be like, hey, exactly.
It could have been something,yeah.
Yeah, it could have been alittle bit.

SPEAKER_02 (49:22):
But yeah, that was it.
He just sent a dick pic.
He just sent a random ass dickpic.
And like with Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (49:27):
With hinge for you.

SPEAKER_02 (49:28):
I don't think I've had any other connections built
off of hinge.
Like, there's been it's been afew like back and forth, but
like I said, just the end withthe ghost thing, people ghost
me.
And then it's just like nothingbecomes fruitful from it.
So, like I said, you know what?
I want to talk about this too.
Like, do you think the apps area hindrance to meaning people?

(49:50):
Because like I think I rely toomuch on the apps for my
connections with other people.

SPEAKER_04 (49:54):
I can definitely say that it's had a large effect on
how we interact with people andmeeting people nowadays.
Because I feel like peoplenowadays don't really I don't
want to say I don't want tospeak for everyone and speak on
everyone's intelligence orwhatnot, but it's certainly if a
lot of people are used to usingdating apps and you know that
sort of thing, I feel like itaffects our real life, our how

(50:17):
we how we meet people.
Like I feel like a lot of badhabits are w gar garnered or
taken from t texting on thosetypes of apps.
And then if you don't reallytake care of like making sure,
keep yourself accountable andmaking sure that stuff, it's
gonna come back at you andyou'll start interacting with
people in ways you probablydon't really want would want
wouldn't want to.

(50:38):
I feel um I can't say that's thesame for me.
I mean, I'm socially like ineptin some ways, but not because of
apps.

SPEAKER_02 (50:47):
But I think what do you think about that?
I think the apps could be a goodthing and a bad thing.
I think it could be a hindranceto you meeting actual people
going out and meeting going outin public and having those kind
of conversations with peoplethat you're interested in.
Like you might have to keep youout of practice, I say.
Right, right.
It does.
That's a good way to say it.
Like keeps you out of thepractice of doing it.
So I think it is it could be aninteresting hindrance, but it

(51:08):
also, like I said, it couldconnect you with a whole bunch
of people.
That's the thing.
Like, I feel likeidealistically, these apps
should be this great thing forus to connect with people, but
it just it isn't.
A lot of it's just sex.
Yeah.
Especially for our gaycommunity.

SPEAKER_04 (51:23):
That's that's definitely for sure.
Yeah.
I can say that without datingapps and without sex apps or
whatnot, my life would bedifferent.
Like I've met people who havechanged my life.
Like I have been for worse.
Oh my god.
But no, I've met people who havechanged my life, and it's just

(51:47):
like, dang, I wouldn't have thiswithout them.
I wouldn't have this withoutthem.
And it does suck to think aboutthat because I'm no longer like
with them anymore.
But at the same time, it's likeI very much appreciate even if
these apps have also affected mein the in one way or another,
like I appreciate the people Ihave met and the experiences I
have had because of them.

(52:07):
And it's because it's becomeeasier to meet new people.
It's like because ofcircumstances of what an app
could be, right?
You could meet someone that youwouldn't have met otherwise.
Like the only reason I met mysecond boyfriend was because
one, COVID, and two, because ofTinder.
His lifestyle at that time washe would just be in the house on

(52:32):
his computer.

SPEAKER_02 (52:32):
Right, that's what that's what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_04 (52:34):
On on and off of work, yeah.
And it was just like I he wouldhave never met me in any social
or any type of like event oranything like that.

SPEAKER_02 (52:41):
So it's just like, yeah, that really helped out.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I think the apps like are forpeople that don't go out and
don't socialize and shit.
Like, and it's just like, well,you can't expect to meet people
that go out and socialize if youdidn't meet them out
socializing, you know what Imean?
Kinda, yeah.
So I think it's the it's aninteresting kind of um back and

(53:03):
forth with that.

SPEAKER_04 (53:04):
Yeah, exactly.
That's that's kind of thetrade-off.
It's like a sacrifice in asense.
Yeah.
Because like again, you have tojust be careful and very mindful
of how you're using the apps andwhat you're doing to make sure
that you don't like lose skillsthat you naturally would have
otherwise.
Yeah.
Um now speaking of those thingsthough, certainly on oh, how
much how much time we got?

SPEAKER_03 (53:24):
Yeah, it's probably about time.
Yeah, it's about that time.
Oh, it's about time to quit.
It's about that time, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (53:28):
We didn't get to TM, we didn't even get to um jacked.

SPEAKER_02 (53:32):
Oh, yeah, we didn't get to jacked either.

SPEAKER_04 (53:34):
Jacked Jacked.
We talked quickly about jack.
Jacked.
I've never had an experience onthere.
I mean, I've had like maybe one,but like I've never had anything
like serious on there.
No, like, isn't it just forbears or some shit?

SPEAKER_02 (53:46):
No, that's scruff, I think.
No, that's the same difference.
No, it's completely different.
I feel like jacked is more forblack people.
What?
I think more black people usejacked.
Oh, it was like buff people.
No, it's not, no, it's not likethat.
No.
What is jacked for?
It's I wouldn't, I don't know ifwhat it's advertised
specifically for, but a lot ofblack people use jacked.

(54:08):
Like, I feel like when I go onjacked, all I see is just black
people.
I don't see a whole lot of otherraces.
I just see a lot of blackpeople.
Okay, interesting.
And so I think as far asconnections go, for me
personally, I've had betterexperiences on Jack than I have
on Grind.

SPEAKER_04 (54:25):
Holy shit.

SPEAKER_02 (54:26):
I think I have.

SPEAKER_04 (54:27):
Jack Jack has contributed nothing to my life,
while Grinder has definitelydone some things.

SPEAKER_03 (54:32):
Yeah, I guess that's the beauty of the apps.
Yeah, that's really it.
Truly it.
And that's a quack.
We're not saying that.
Yes, we are.
Please do not.

SPEAKER_02 (54:43):
Yes, we are.
That's a quack.
That is a quack.
Did I say that last time?

SPEAKER_03 (54:47):
Yes, no.

SPEAKER_02 (54:48):
You I think you said that last time.
Or you said stay quack.

SPEAKER_03 (54:52):
I do say stay quack.

SPEAKER_02 (54:54):
Maybe I said that's a quack.

SPEAKER_04 (54:56):
Uh well, we guess I guess that's a quack, y'all.
Well, thank you guys forlistening.
Uh, we really appreciate allyour support, as always.
And of course, to all ourmembers of the LGBTQ community,
don't forget to enjoy PrideMonth and uh have, I don't know,
sex and not sex with people.
Have good relationships withpeople.
Right.
People you've met off of apps oron apps, you've just experienced

(55:19):
that and be happy with beingable to do that because people
fought for our people fought forour freedom to do that.
So please.
Fiss up because I'm proud.
Okay.
Right.
Right.
So please enjoy connections withpeople.
Maybe meet somebody new today.
Just fuck it.
Get on that app right now.

unknown (55:36):
Fuck it.

SPEAKER_04 (55:36):
Get back up right now.
Right now.

SPEAKER_02 (55:39):
Fuck it.

SPEAKER_03 (55:40):
Fuck it.
I'm about to do that right nowafter this.
Right.

unknown (55:44):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (55:45):
But yeah, like I said, continue to like I said,
hit us up on our social medias.
It's gonna be in the show notes.
I'm trademarketT-R-E-Y-D-M-A-R-K-I-T.
That is Johnny Jabbers overthere.
Um, one of my best friends.

SPEAKE (55:56):
J-O-N-N-Y-J-A-B-B-E-R-S.

SPEAKER_02 (55:59):
Yes, period queen.
Spelling Queen.
Um, but yeah, like I said, hitus up on social media, give us
tips on uh our Kofi, our coffeecan be linked in the show notes.
Like I said, we're gonna keep ontalking about that.
But yeah, guys, like I said,thank you for coming back.
Thank you for coming back andlistening.
We love it, we appreciate you,and we just just keep coming

(56:20):
back listening to us.
All right.
Yeah, that's quack.
Stay quack, stay quack.
All right, bye.
You're listening to QXC Radio.
Yeah.