November 23, 2022 • 33 mins
At the age of four, Lauren was sexually abused yet repressed her memories for most of her young life. An encounter in her teenage years, triggered the horrific memories and initiated her struggle with fear, shame, guilt and deep sorrow. Listen in as Lauren shares her journey of recovery that would lead her to become an author and speaker, determined to help children and women overcome the trauma of abuse.
https://www.LaurenLNelson.com
#overcomingfear #sexualabuse #childhoodtrauma
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Episode Transcript
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Michelle (00:10):
Hey everybody, and welcome back to Qualified, the
place where incredible peopleshare their stories of
overcoming great adversity andloss to inspire you and give you
hope. I'm Michelle Heaton. Well,sadly, we live in a world where
bad things can happen. Andsometimes they happen to the
(00:31):
most vulnerable and innocentamong us, our children. And when
these atrocities occur, they canleave a lasting impact on those
involved. And as we've talkedabout so many times on the
podcast, adversity can actuallymake us stronger, and ultimately
be used to help other people.
Well, my guest today will sharethe story of her own sexual
(00:53):
abuse at the age of four.
Because of her childhood trauma,she has a deep passion and
desire to help children andwomen who have been abused.
Today, she is an author andspeaker, mother of two, and the
wife of a pastor. She has areligion degree from Pacific
(01:14):
Lutheran University, and 20 plusyears of ministry experience
with children, teens and adults.
Her name is Lauren Nelson. Andit's my great privilege to have
her as my guest on the showtoday. Welcome to Qualified
Lauren.
Lauren (01:29):
Thank you so much for having me
Michelle (01:31):
Of course. So Lauren, there's so much I want to talk
with you about as a survivor ofchildhood abuse, because this
topic is such a deep andtroubling one. And I know there
are people listening today thatwant to know about how you could
possibly overcome the trauma youexperienced. So to begin, can
(01:51):
you tell us what happened inyour life at age four?
Lauren (01:55):
Yes, I can. My family, my immediate family was
incredibly loving, and kind,they spoke loving words over me
and hugged me, you know, told meI was loved. I knew I was loved
at home. But I had some extendedfamily members that were really
inappropriate, and just not goodpeople. And we didn't know to
(02:18):
the extent how bad they were. Sowe would have an extended family
member that did not live in thathouse. But that had a key and
lived very close by. And hewould come in the middle of the
night with his wife, and take mysister and I out of our bedrooms
into the car and drive us toanother location, my parents
(02:42):
would put me and my sister tosleep at night, and we would go
to bed and they would think wewere safe in our beds. And we
would actually not be safe. Sowhen we would get put into the
car and we were driven toanother location, this location
that we arrived at had otherpeople there. So other men,
(03:04):
other women, and sadly otherchildren. And those children
were victims, just like I was.
So this happened to us a fewtimes. But it's hard for us to
remember exactly how many timesit happened. But it all did
start when we were about fouryears old.
Michelle (03:21):
Well, I'm so sorry that happened to you and your
sister Lauren. It's justunimaginable to think that
something like this can happenand that there are people out
there that prey on children inthis way. And you said there was
actually more to what occurredthan just sexual abuse.
Lauren (03:38):
We experienced sexual abuse, emotional abuse, because
there was a lot of verbal, justmean things that they would say,
to kind of try to tear down, youknow, our psyche and our belief
system. All of these people cametogether in that stick kind of
party atmosphere, in order toYes, sexually abused children,
(04:01):
but also to worship Satan. Andso they were there to perform
rituals to act out sexually witheach other with adults and with
children. So it was veryconfusing for my little four
year old mind.
Michelle (04:18):
Of course,it was yeah, that is just so much to process.
I'm I'm blown away by everythingyou said. And thank you for
sharing such deep and personalemotional thoughts about
everything. And when we when wefirst talked, I remember you
saying that fear was yourgreatest foe back then. Can you
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give us an example or two abouthow that fear would then
manifest itself in your everydaylife?
Lauren (04:46):
Yeah, so for me, my first introduction to fear was
when that person came into mybedroom, right? I was very felt
very safe with my family. I feltloved and And, and safe. And so
in that experience when all of asudden I'm not safe, that's when
that fear began to enter. And Idon't know how many people that
(05:08):
are listening and believe in thespiritual side of things, but
that Fear is a spirit. And sothat spirit of fear came into my
life at that young age of four.
And it manifested in manydifferent ways. For me, I will
say, because this is animportant part to know that I
did repress my memories. So Iwas told that I would be killed.
(05:28):
If I said anything to anyone, Iwas told that my family would be
killed, if I said anything. Andso I was terrified. And in that
fear, I repressed my memoriesuntil I was in the seventh
grade. So the summer beforeseventh grade, I began to get
memories of the sexual abuse,because I encountered a
different extended family memberon that same side of the family
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that was really dysfunctional.
This other extended familymember was really creepy. And it
began to trigger those memoriesfor both my sister and I. And so
that began our journey ofremembering, and with the
remembering came the floodgatesof fear. So for me, I had a lot
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of nightmare dreams, I hadmemories that would come up that
triggered reactions of fear. Soone one night as I was falling
asleep in, in seventh grade, I,I remember seeing feet
underneath the crack of thedoor, this family member's house
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when this happened, and it wasmy abuser, and it was his feet,
it was like the shadow of hisfeet under the door. And then
like I knew he was coming, itwas almost like he was taunting
me, like I'm here, you know,like those creepy HEBO movies.
And so all of a sudden, I juststarted hyperventilating. And I
go out, and I tell my parentsthat I'm hyperventilating, as
I'm telling them, you know,that's horrible memory that I'm
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having. And they give me a paperbag, and I'm breathing into this
bag. And so that was anexperience of fear. One thing to
note is that as soon as mysister and I told my parents in
junior high, soon as thosememories came up, we were
immediately believed, we weretold, Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry,
that happened to you. Theybelieved us right away. And they
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got my sister and I both intocounseling. And so we had
someone to process through whatwe were experiencing and what we
were going through. So that thatwas helpful in many ways. But so
as these fears came up, I didn'tknow how to deal with them. I
actually was incredibly angry.
At the same time, as I wasafraid. So I pushed my family
away, I pushed my mom and my dadand my sister away, I, I was so
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angry with them. So a lot of myprocess went in my own head, and
my own heart. And so the fearswould come up, for example, I
would be terrified to be homealone, I was terrified to go to
the mall with with a friend orwith my sister on a walk. I, I
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just felt like at any point, Icould be kidnapped or killed. I
just felt like this creepypresence was always there. So
even at night, when I would goto sleep, I would I would put
the covers over my head. So allI had was like a little
breathing hole for my mouthbecause I thought, well, if I
can't see them, they can't seeme maybe, and I can fall asleep.
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And so that was just the normal,everyday life of of my mind, and
it was tormenting. And that wasjust Junior High in high school,
I kind of began to push thingsaway and not deal with them and
try to ignore it and live anormal life. But when I entered
college, I began to have morememories. And these memories
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were the satanic rituals. Sobefore it was the sexual abuse
now it's the satanic ritualsthat involve the sexual abuse.
Meanwhile, my sister is startstarting to be triggered and
having these as well. And so Ihad a really awesome mentor at
the time, a pastor's wife, whohad actually experienced satanic
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ritual abuse as well, I laterfound out but she said, as your
memories come up, try not totell them to your sister,
because you don't want toinfluence each other's memories,
because you're in a reallysensitive place right now. And
that was the best advice shecould have ever given me because
I didn't tell my sister. And atone point, my sister got a
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really big memory that confirmedeverything I had, like five
memories I had had. And so Icould say to my sister, you're
not crazy. Yeah, I've had thosetwo. And we know we did not
influence each other.
Michelle (09:49):
Just the fact that you mentioned that it kind of makes
me wonder, was there ever a timethat you thought you imagined
everything?
Lauren (09:57):
Oh, yeah. And there were there were times when I was like
when I would feel like what am Icrazy, but at the same time, I
knew that I knew that I knewthat my thought process and
everything I was going throughwas not normal, and that I was
deeply wounded. And somethinghad happened that caused that I
never have, like, really doubtedthat it happened, because it's
so ingrained in me for so manyyears, I'm 42 now. And so for
(10:22):
the last 20 some odd years, I'vehad these memories, and some
still continue to come. But forthe most part, I feel like I
have my memories. I know whathappened. And I and I also know
how God delivered me from thereally difficult things that I
went through.
Michelle (10:39):
Well, let's talk about that. Because I'm thinking, you
know, surely what you wentthrough, I could, you know,
totally understand the fear ofbeing alone and walking places,
and that something might happenbecause of what you went
through. Would you say that thetherapy that you were encouraged
to go to did that help in anyway?
Lauren (10:56):
Yes, I it did help because I had somebody that I
could process with, but I willsay, make sure that it's a safe
person for your child, if youare going through this, for some
reason, if you're excused have achild that has come to you and
said that they've been sexuallyabused, I think it's really
important that they feel safewith that, counselor. I know
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that when there's a goodcounselor, especially a
Christian counselor, who canreally help understand not only
the emotional side of things,but the spiritual side of things
and how that affects a person.
It's huge.
Michelle (11:31):
Right? So you talked about your faith and being a
Christian. So what role didfaith play in helping you heal?
Lauren (11:38):
It affected everything for me, and honestly, I would
say, my faith in God saved mylife. And that's not me saying
that, candidly, that'srealistic. Because for me, even
when the memories began to comeback in junior high, I, I felt
Jesus still close to me. And hewas the only one I felt
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understood me even when I was soangry, and I pushed everyone
else away. I just felt hiskindness and his love. And so I
knew that I could be open andhonest. So I would journal my
thoughts and my feelings. And Ijust remember wishing that I
could die. Because heaven was ahappy place, and Earth was not.
Heaven was a safe place, andEarth was not. And I really just
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wanted to die. And And luckily,I didn't take those thoughts any
further than that at that time.
But I was raised in a Lutheranhome, a Christian home, and I
knew Bible stories, and I wentto church every Sunday with my
family. But God had revealedhimself to me through dreams,
through situations that I justknew were him. So for me, yeah,
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I can't separate faith or say,even when that entered, it has
just always been because he'salways made himself known to me.
Michelle (12:58):
Yeah. I'm thinking about somebody who may not have
that kind of a relationship withChrist and is struggling in a
situation like you're in rightnow. How could they rely on God?
Especially when they might feellike how could God allow
something like this to happen tome?
Lauren (13:12):
Yeah, I'm actually processing with somebody right
now I'm working with and meetingwith them weekly. And this gal
experienced horrendous sexualabuse from the time she was
young, and just multipledifferent people that abused
her, and she did not have arelationship with Jesus. And,
you know, we were talking aboutit, and she's in AAA, right now,
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Alcoholics Anonymous, and she'sa young girl, she's only 20. But
she was supposed to find herhigher power. That's something
that they talk about. And so shewas asking me question and
saying, you know, I want I wantto, and I do believe that
there's a God. And I've seenmaybe little ways that he's
working in my life, but I don'twant to do and so we got to pray
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right there. And when she madethat decision to say, I cannot
do this on my own. When I'vetried to do things on my own. It
has it has sucked. It's beenhorrible. And so I think that's
what I would say is for peopleto know that maybe they didn't
sense that throughout theirlife, maybe that as young as I
did, as you give your heart tothe Lord, and you just say, God,
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I want to trust you with mylife. I can't do this on my own.
And I want you to fill my heartand to guide me and teach me
more about you. He is going toshow you that he was indeed with
you. From that time, from thetime you were born. And he was
with us through those difficultthings that you went through,
and that those things were notcaused by Him. The Bible says
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that every good and perfect giftcomes from God. So anything else
that is not good and perfectcomes from the enemy and the
enemy wants to steal, kill anddestroy and that's what the
Bible says. He tells us plainly,
Michelle (14:55):
right and I think people sometimes wonder when bad
things happen. They wonder whereWhere is God? But when we know
the word we understand the Bibletells us to expect trouble. In
this world, there will betrouble but take heart I have
overcome the world and right,that's where that peace comes
from.
Lauren (15:11):
That's right.
Michelle (15:12):
So having been through all this, when was that turning
point where you decided that youwere strong enough to now help
other people with what you wentthrough?
Lauren (15:21):
Well, it definitely was a process. And one of the things
that was so impactful for me, itwas pastors in my life that met
with me and prayed with methrough the pain through the
spiritual what I callstrongholds. Fear is a
stronghold shame, and bitternessand control and sorrow. Those
were kind of those five mainthings that were strongholds in
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my life. That was a journey aswell of just walking through
each one as they came up. Andthen as I start dating, my
husband more comes up, right?
Because I'm feeling vulnerable,and I'm feeling uncomfortable.
And then when my husband and Igot married, he led us into
pastoring. And so yes, wealways, you know, focused on
other people. But I would say mybreakthrough in helping other
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people in this way throughwriting books, has came just
when my kids were little aboutseven years ago.
Michelle (16:16):
So you told me that writing was never something that
you thought you would do. Andthen your husband encouraged you
and actually felt like he knewit was a calling for you. And
then so to do. So can you talkabout that?
Lauren (16:29):
I just couldn't imagine doing anything like that writing
had never come naturally to me.
And so I just felt like I neededto say, Okay, God, if this is
from you, you'll make it happenin your time. And then a year
later, an encounter with mydaughter happened, where she
asked me a question that sparkedme to write my children's book,
she rose of the Bible, which isthe women heroes of the Bible.
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And she said, Mom, why does Godthink boys are more important
than girls? And I said, hedoesn't, why would you ask that?
And she said, Well, it seemslike God thinks boys are more
important, because all we learnabout in church, our boys, and
we don't learn about the girls.
And so I'm like, Oh, my gosh,there's so many amazing heroic
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women in the Bible, we, youknow, and so anyway, it started
me on this journey of realizingthere's no other books out there
like this, that really helpedkids understand that these women
all experienced fear. And all ofthem experienced, deep fear. And
their fears looked different indifferent ways. You know, one of
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them was, you know, maybeafraid, Hannah was afraid she
would never have children. Andthen you've got Deborah, who's
afraid on the battlefield,because she's like, we might I
might die. But, you know, like,very real fears. But I thought,
gosh, like that is one way toteach kids at a young age, how
to conquer that fear, throughtheir faith in Jesus. And so
that's kind of the the messagethrough that book is just let
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God's love be greater than yourfear.
Michelle (18:00):
I love the concept of teaching young women about the
strong women of the Bible,because like you said, there are
some great stories that aresuper inspirational for girls
and women. You also said, you'vecompleted a second book about
your personal experience that'sscheduled to be released this
spring.
Lauren (18:17):
Yeah, this book is just really helping other people to
come into freedom from thosefive strongholds that I talked
about, that I think affect a lotof people that go through
trauma, particularly sexualabuse, which is that fear, the
bitterness that control andshame and sorrow, those are just
huge things. So it's veryinteractive, there's discussion
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questions at the end of everychapter, or you can do it in a
group or on your own to justreally reflect in and get some
freedom in those areas.
Michelle (18:48):
Wow, that sounds like a really helpful tool for
someone who needs this kind ofsupport. Yeah. You know, when we
were talking before you saidsomething about, well, if you're
a parent that has a child that'sgoing through this, you know,
make sure that they have acounselor that skilled in this
area, if you put yourself intothe mind of maybe a parent who's
listening right now, whose childhas come to them and told them
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that they've been abused? Howcan that person deal with the
emotions that are coming in atthe same time, the emotions that
they're dealing with as a motherand then as well as wanting to
support their child who'sexperienced so much trauma?
Lauren (19:22):
There would be such a flood of emotions I and I, I've
not been on that side of things.
But I definitely asked my kidslike, is there anything you need
to tell me, you know, have youfelt uncomfortable or unsafe?
And so at this point, and Ipray, it never happens. But my
kids have been safe from that.
But I can tell you just fromeven my my mom's perspective, of
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what she experienced with me,there's a flood of emotions that
come a feelings of out ofcontrol, and it's not fair and
why did this happen? And Ithought I was keeping my child
safe. For I had no idea thisperson was not a safe person.
And so all those feelings, youcan feel guilty and you can feel
(20:08):
angry you, you know, everybodykind of deals with things in
different ways. Some people tendto internalize it and blame
themselves, other people lashout and get really angry with
the world. Um, sometimes it's alittle bit of both. And so I
think the most important thingto do is to have a relationship
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with Jesus so that you can beginto put those burdens on him
because he can carry it, youcan't carry it, there's no
amount that you can carry, it'stoo hard. Yeah. And so when we
have Jesus, we can say, Jesus,You take my burdens, you take my
shame, you take my anger, youtake all the ways I feel like
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control or bitterness towardsthis person who did this, all of
it, the guilt, and then he cantake that for you. But I do
think it's important to on apractical level, to have a
counselor, or a pastor orsomebody that you're meeting
with regularly to try to processthrough those feelings that are
going to be coming up. Becauseevery time your child tells you
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where you're watching it impacttheir life, it, it's going to re
trigger you those feelings ofguilt or anger or whatever. So
it's it's a continual process ofsaying Jesus helped me and the
Lord bring the right person intomy life and helped me to find
that right person that will helpme process as these things come
up.
Michelle (21:33):
Yeah, very good advice. And the other thing that
I think about must be reallydifficult for both, maybe the
parent and also the victim ofthe abuse would be forgiveness.
How do you even touch on thatsubject was such a painful
thing?
Lauren (21:46):
Well, I think that's a timing issue in everybody's
life, but we are all going to befaced with that decision of
whether we're going to forgiveor not forgive. And, you know,
with the person that Imentioned, that I'm meeting with
now, this 20 year old, whereshe's at right now and the
rawness of where she is, I mean,every other word is a cuss word,
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she's just really angry. And Iwould not dare to talk about
forgiveness yet, because forher, she needs to, she needs to
personally heal. Yeah, beforeshe can really make that
decision fluently. And for me,I, you know, I experienced a lot
of healing so that I couldfinally see clearly and be able
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to make that decision. And I dokeep coming back to that word
decision. Because forgiveness isnot an emotion, it is a choice.
And it's a decision of the willthat we make. And one of the
things that I share about in mybook is the story of Corrie 10,
boom. If you've you know, forthose of you who haven't heard
of her, she was alive during theNazi reign, the Nazis took over
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her homeland and long storyshort, she ended up in a
concentration camp. And shewatched so many people die
around her. But after shesurvived the war, her sister did
not survive. Her dad did notsurvive. So many family members
died. And she experienced greatloss and trauma. And the Lord
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had her speak about herexperiences to the to the I want
to say she was in Germany whenshe actually was in she, it
didn't happen in Germany, butshe went back to Germany and was
speaking in Germany and sharingabout forgiveness and God's love
and how she wants to forgive andlove those that abused her and
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her family. Well, at the end ofher talk, a man comes forward.
And he says off, it's so goodthat you say that we can be
forgiven. She knew exactly whohe was. He was a Nazi guard at
the camp where her sister waskilled, and he was one of the
most brutal and so she juststood stone cold in terror and
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anger as she's watching this mantried to receive this
forgiveness from God and hesaid, I, I have received Jesus
and I'm so thankful that I'mforgiven by him, but will you
forgive me? And he asked herdirectly, what do you forgive me
basically, for the murder andeverything that I did, and he
didn't remember her at all. Butshe because she was one of 1000s
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that he abused, but she sheremembered him and she remembers
saying she was still angry. Andin her heart, she said, God, I
cannot forgive this man. But youcan help me forgive him. And as
soon as she asked the Lord tohelp her, forgive him, and to
make that choice, she felt likewhat felt like electricity ran
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through her her body and intoher arm. And she reached out her
hand and made the decision tosay, Yes, I will forgive you.
And as soon as she did, shestarted to sob, and she began to
feel it but the feelings cameafter she made a decision. Isn't
first to say, I'm going tochoose to forgive you. But God
helped me that
Michelle (25:05):
isn't always going to be that way with every Oh, it's
not always a feeling ofelectricity. And it's a choice.
That doesn't always happen.
Lauren (25:13):
That's right. Yeah, it definitely affects everybody
different. In my for my ownexperience, when I realized that
I had not actually forgiven myabuser, I made that decision on
my own to go, Okay, I'm going tochoose to forgive him with my
mind. And all the people thatabused me, I'm going to choose
(25:34):
to forgive them, right. I didn'tfeel anything. I didn't feel any
different. But I made thatdecision. But I started to
realize that true breakthroughhappens, true healing for
ourselves happen when we can letthe other people go,
unforgiveness and bitternessholds like shackles on us to
that other person. So when wecan say I choose to forgive
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them, God release them from me,I release them, you're actually
not just extending forgivenessto them, you're releasing
yourself and allowing yourselfto really be able to walk in the
fullness of healing,
Michelle (26:12):
powerful. Yeah. So Lauren, you've shared so many
great insights with us havinglived through the trauma of
abuse for the survivor, as wellas the family members who are
providing support. You want themto know that therapy with the
right counselor can be a greatbenefit to aid in their road to
recovery. You shared that fearis more than just an emotion,
(26:37):
but actually a spiritualstronghold that can be overcome
by prayer and faith. Youexperience a flood of emotions
in the aftermath of your abuse,and you now understand that it's
okay to feel anger, bitterness,guilt, shame, and sorrow. You
(26:57):
know, that walking through andsurviving painful experiences
can serve as a platform forhelping others when shared. And
you talked about the power offorgiveness, and that we all
must decide for ourselves, howand when to make the choice to
forgive, that's best for us. Andyou reminded us that God's love
is greater than our fears, andthat his kindness and nearness
(27:21):
to us can be a great source ofcomfort and pain. Lauren, what
other big life lessons have youlearned having been through all
of this?
Lauren (27:30):
Well, I'd say the first thing is not letting your
feelings dictate your decisions.
Because again, our feelings canlie to us, where every time I
felt fear, which it could beanything from fear that I'm
going to be killed. So I don'tgo drive in my car, because I'm
afraid something can happen. orfear of speaking in front of
(27:51):
people or fear of doing thispodcast, I could easily give
into that feeling of fear andsay, well, then Lauren, like, be
nice to yourself, you don't haveto go on that podcast. Warren be
just be gentle with yourself.
You don't have to go, you know,speak at that event, or you
don't have to write this book.
It's okay. You know, which istrue. I could be you know, but
(28:14):
at the same time, I'm notgetting the very best that God
has for me because I'm bowingdown to fear and innocence. So I
had somebody say something to meone time that I think if there's
anything that people couldreally glean from this. It's
this. She's my friend was goingthrough, like an addiction
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therapy session, and thiscounselor said to her, what is
on the other side of fear? Andbecause her counselor been
talking about all these fearsthat she was having, that was
ultimately why she was trying toself medicate, right? And she is
she said, I have no idea what'son the other side of fear. And
he said, everything you've everwanted. everything your heart
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has longs for. Everything you'veever desired, everything God has
for you, is on that other sideof that bully, of fear. And if
we can recognize that and pushpast our feelings, and say, I'm
not going to let that stop me, Iam going to take a step forward
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into what God has for me, evenwhen I feel really uncomfortable
or scared or sick or whatever.
I'm going to press in and pressthrough, then you will you will
watch God do breakthrough afterbreakthrough after breakthrough.
Because I'll tell you sevenyears ago when I wrote she rose
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of the Bible, there's no waythat I did not think I was
saying yes to speaking inpublic. I did not think I was
saying yes to being on podcasts,or writing another book with all
of my story in it. But when Imade that choice to sit down and
begin to pen it and write it andreally just let God move then
there's That realization if Idon't tell people about it,
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nobody's going to know aboutthis, I have to go talk. So he
rushed me through a new thing offear of getting in front of
people, which I would haverather died, you know, really.
And so it's just he's it's justbreakthrough after breakthrough
that happens when we say yes toGod and no to our feelings. So
that'd be the main thing I wouldsay would be the biggest lessons
(30:22):
I've learned
Michelle (30:23):
was so good, so good.
Well, I want you to talk forjust a minute about where
listeners can go to learn moreabout you what you do, and also
get a copy of that book.
Lauren (30:32):
Yeah. So right now on my website, my website is Lauren l
nelson.com. And they can gothere and learn where to buy it.
Currently, Amazon or Barnes andNoble, or basically, anywhere
online bookstores are, you canfind she rose of the Bible,
which is a children's book,soon, I'm going to have that
(30:53):
available on my website, we'rein the middle of a
transformation of my websiteright now. So you can't purchase
it directly on there yet, but itwill be on there soon. Maybe by
the time your listeners hearthis, it will be already up and
running. And then my other bookis going to be coming out most
likely in the spring or summer.
And so that's another way on mywebsite, Lauren l nelson.com,
you'll be able to find out aboutthat upcoming book, which is my
(31:17):
story, and processing throughtrauma. So and then I'm actually
going to be doing life coachingpretty soon in the next six
months, I'll be certified to bea trauma and resiliency coach,
life coach to be able to helpother people, whether it's
through zoom, I might be ingroups or individual, but
there'll be opportunities to beable to do that. So I'm excited
(31:38):
about that business as
Michelle (31:41):
well. Congratulations on that. Lauren. You really did.
You busted through fear. Allright.
Lauren (31:47):
I punched it in the face.
Michelle (31:50):
Hey, well, I just want to thank you so much for
agreeing to come on the showtoday. It was just so wonderful
talking to you.
Lauren (31:56):
Thank you. It was an honor to be here. I really
appreciate it.
Michelle (31:59):
Great, Lauren.So for those of you listening, I know
this was a difficult topic toexplore today. And if you're in
a situation like this one, It'smy prayer that you will find the
support you need. Lauren'ssituation was a bad one. And
when her memories returned, sodid the fear and anxiety that
(32:20):
would attempt to overtake herlife. But the key thing to
remember is that she didovercome her situation. She
sought help, stayed strong inher faith, and then found the
resolve to help others with thelessons she learned. Whatever
loss you're experiencing rightnow, please remember that you
can survive it and ultimatelyovercome any negative emotions.
(32:44):
If you make the choice to justpress on. You'll learn from the
difficult times emerge stronger.
And finally, you'll be more thanqualified to help someone else
with the lessons you learned inyour loss. Thanks for listening
Hey everybody, and welcome back to Qualified, the
place where incredible peopleshare their stories of
overcoming great adversity andloss to inspire you and give you
hope. I'm Michelle Heaton. Well,sadly, we live in a world where
bad things can happen. Andsometimes they happen to the
(00:31):
most vulnerable and innocentamong us, our children. And when
these atrocities occur, they canleave a lasting impact on those
involved. And as we've talkedabout so many times on the
podcast, adversity can actuallymake us stronger, and ultimately
be used to help other people.
Well, my guest today will sharethe story of her own sexual
(00:53):
abuse at the age of four.
Because of her childhood trauma,she has a deep passion and
desire to help children andwomen who have been abused.
Today, she is an author andspeaker, mother of two, and the
wife of a pastor. She has areligion degree from Pacific
(01:14):
Lutheran University, and 20 plusyears of ministry experience
with children, teens and adults.
Her name is Lauren Nelson. Andit's my great privilege to have
her as my guest on the showtoday. Welcome to Qualified
Lauren.
Lauren (01:29):
Thank you so much for having me
Michelle (01:31):
Of course. So Lauren, there's so much I want to talk
with you about as a survivor ofchildhood abuse, because this
topic is such a deep andtroubling one. And I know there
are people listening today thatwant to know about how you could
possibly overcome the trauma youexperienced. So to begin, can
(01:51):
you tell us what happened inyour life at age four?
Lauren (01:55):
Yes, I can. My family, my immediate family was
incredibly loving, and kind,they spoke loving words over me
and hugged me, you know, told meI was loved. I knew I was loved
at home. But I had some extendedfamily members that were really
inappropriate, and just not goodpeople. And we didn't know to
(02:18):
the extent how bad they were. Sowe would have an extended family
member that did not live in thathouse. But that had a key and
lived very close by. And hewould come in the middle of the
night with his wife, and take mysister and I out of our bedrooms
into the car and drive us toanother location, my parents
(02:42):
would put me and my sister tosleep at night, and we would go
to bed and they would think wewere safe in our beds. And we
would actually not be safe. Sowhen we would get put into the
car and we were driven toanother location, this location
that we arrived at had otherpeople there. So other men,
(03:04):
other women, and sadly otherchildren. And those children
were victims, just like I was.
So this happened to us a fewtimes. But it's hard for us to
remember exactly how many timesit happened. But it all did
start when we were about fouryears old.
Michelle (03:21):
Well, I'm so sorry that happened to you and your
sister Lauren. It's justunimaginable to think that
something like this can happenand that there are people out
there that prey on children inthis way. And you said there was
actually more to what occurredthan just sexual abuse.
Lauren (03:38):
We experienced sexual abuse, emotional abuse, because
there was a lot of verbal, justmean things that they would say,
to kind of try to tear down, youknow, our psyche and our belief
system. All of these people cametogether in that stick kind of
party atmosphere, in order toYes, sexually abused children,
(04:01):
but also to worship Satan. Andso they were there to perform
rituals to act out sexually witheach other with adults and with
children. So it was veryconfusing for my little four
year old mind.
Michelle (04:18):
Of course,it was yeah, that is just so much to process.
I'm I'm blown away by everythingyou said. And thank you for
sharing such deep and personalemotional thoughts about
everything. And when we when wefirst talked, I remember you
saying that fear was yourgreatest foe back then. Can you
(04:39):
give us an example or two abouthow that fear would then
manifest itself in your everydaylife?
Lauren (04:46):
Yeah, so for me, my first introduction to fear was
when that person came into mybedroom, right? I was very felt
very safe with my family. I feltloved and And, and safe. And so
in that experience when all of asudden I'm not safe, that's when
that fear began to enter. And Idon't know how many people that
(05:08):
are listening and believe in thespiritual side of things, but
that Fear is a spirit. And sothat spirit of fear came into my
life at that young age of four.
And it manifested in manydifferent ways. For me, I will
say, because this is animportant part to know that I
did repress my memories. So Iwas told that I would be killed.
(05:28):
If I said anything to anyone, Iwas told that my family would be
killed, if I said anything. Andso I was terrified. And in that
fear, I repressed my memoriesuntil I was in the seventh
grade. So the summer beforeseventh grade, I began to get
memories of the sexual abuse,because I encountered a
different extended family memberon that same side of the family
(05:52):
that was really dysfunctional.
This other extended familymember was really creepy. And it
began to trigger those memoriesfor both my sister and I. And so
that began our journey ofremembering, and with the
remembering came the floodgatesof fear. So for me, I had a lot
(06:14):
of nightmare dreams, I hadmemories that would come up that
triggered reactions of fear. Soone one night as I was falling
asleep in, in seventh grade, I,I remember seeing feet
underneath the crack of thedoor, this family member's house
(06:34):
when this happened, and it wasmy abuser, and it was his feet,
it was like the shadow of hisfeet under the door. And then
like I knew he was coming, itwas almost like he was taunting
me, like I'm here, you know,like those creepy HEBO movies.
And so all of a sudden, I juststarted hyperventilating. And I
go out, and I tell my parentsthat I'm hyperventilating, as
I'm telling them, you know,that's horrible memory that I'm
(06:56):
having. And they give me a paperbag, and I'm breathing into this
bag. And so that was anexperience of fear. One thing to
note is that as soon as mysister and I told my parents in
junior high, soon as thosememories came up, we were
immediately believed, we weretold, Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry,
that happened to you. Theybelieved us right away. And they
(07:19):
got my sister and I both intocounseling. And so we had
someone to process through whatwe were experiencing and what we
were going through. So that thatwas helpful in many ways. But so
as these fears came up, I didn'tknow how to deal with them. I
actually was incredibly angry.
At the same time, as I wasafraid. So I pushed my family
away, I pushed my mom and my dadand my sister away, I, I was so
(07:43):
angry with them. So a lot of myprocess went in my own head, and
my own heart. And so the fearswould come up, for example, I
would be terrified to be homealone, I was terrified to go to
the mall with with a friend orwith my sister on a walk. I, I
(08:04):
just felt like at any point, Icould be kidnapped or killed. I
just felt like this creepypresence was always there. So
even at night, when I would goto sleep, I would I would put
the covers over my head. So allI had was like a little
breathing hole for my mouthbecause I thought, well, if I
can't see them, they can't seeme maybe, and I can fall asleep.
(08:24):
And so that was just the normal,everyday life of of my mind, and
it was tormenting. And that wasjust Junior High in high school,
I kind of began to push thingsaway and not deal with them and
try to ignore it and live anormal life. But when I entered
college, I began to have morememories. And these memories
(08:49):
were the satanic rituals. Sobefore it was the sexual abuse
now it's the satanic ritualsthat involve the sexual abuse.
Meanwhile, my sister is startstarting to be triggered and
having these as well. And so Ihad a really awesome mentor at
the time, a pastor's wife, whohad actually experienced satanic
(09:09):
ritual abuse as well, I laterfound out but she said, as your
memories come up, try not totell them to your sister,
because you don't want toinfluence each other's memories,
because you're in a reallysensitive place right now. And
that was the best advice shecould have ever given me because
I didn't tell my sister. And atone point, my sister got a
(09:32):
really big memory that confirmedeverything I had, like five
memories I had had. And so Icould say to my sister, you're
not crazy. Yeah, I've had thosetwo. And we know we did not
influence each other.
Michelle (09:49):
Just the fact that you mentioned that it kind of makes
me wonder, was there ever a timethat you thought you imagined
everything?
Lauren (09:57):
Oh, yeah. And there were there were times when I was like
when I would feel like what am Icrazy, but at the same time, I
knew that I knew that I knewthat my thought process and
everything I was going throughwas not normal, and that I was
deeply wounded. And somethinghad happened that caused that I
never have, like, really doubtedthat it happened, because it's
so ingrained in me for so manyyears, I'm 42 now. And so for
(10:22):
the last 20 some odd years, I'vehad these memories, and some
still continue to come. But forthe most part, I feel like I
have my memories. I know whathappened. And I and I also know
how God delivered me from thereally difficult things that I
went through.
Michelle (10:39):
Well, let's talk about that. Because I'm thinking, you
know, surely what you wentthrough, I could, you know,
totally understand the fear ofbeing alone and walking places,
and that something might happenbecause of what you went
through. Would you say that thetherapy that you were encouraged
to go to did that help in anyway?
Lauren (10:56):
Yes, I it did help because I had somebody that I
could process with, but I willsay, make sure that it's a safe
person for your child, if youare going through this, for some
reason, if you're excused have achild that has come to you and
said that they've been sexuallyabused, I think it's really
important that they feel safewith that, counselor. I know
(11:19):
that when there's a goodcounselor, especially a
Christian counselor, who canreally help understand not only
the emotional side of things,but the spiritual side of things
and how that affects a person.
It's huge.
Michelle (11:31):
Right? So you talked about your faith and being a
Christian. So what role didfaith play in helping you heal?
Lauren (11:38):
It affected everything for me, and honestly, I would
say, my faith in God saved mylife. And that's not me saying
that, candidly, that'srealistic. Because for me, even
when the memories began to comeback in junior high, I, I felt
Jesus still close to me. And hewas the only one I felt
(11:59):
understood me even when I was soangry, and I pushed everyone
else away. I just felt hiskindness and his love. And so I
knew that I could be open andhonest. So I would journal my
thoughts and my feelings. And Ijust remember wishing that I
could die. Because heaven was ahappy place, and Earth was not.
Heaven was a safe place, andEarth was not. And I really just
(12:22):
wanted to die. And And luckily,I didn't take those thoughts any
further than that at that time.
But I was raised in a Lutheranhome, a Christian home, and I
knew Bible stories, and I wentto church every Sunday with my
family. But God had revealedhimself to me through dreams,
through situations that I justknew were him. So for me, yeah,
(12:45):
I can't separate faith or say,even when that entered, it has
just always been because he'salways made himself known to me.
Michelle (12:58):
Yeah. I'm thinking about somebody who may not have
that kind of a relationship withChrist and is struggling in a
situation like you're in rightnow. How could they rely on God?
Especially when they might feellike how could God allow
something like this to happen tome?
Lauren (13:12):
Yeah, I'm actually processing with somebody right
now I'm working with and meetingwith them weekly. And this gal
experienced horrendous sexualabuse from the time she was
young, and just multipledifferent people that abused
her, and she did not have arelationship with Jesus. And,
you know, we were talking aboutit, and she's in AAA, right now,
(13:35):
Alcoholics Anonymous, and she'sa young girl, she's only 20. But
she was supposed to find herhigher power. That's something
that they talk about. And so shewas asking me question and
saying, you know, I want I wantto, and I do believe that
there's a God. And I've seenmaybe little ways that he's
working in my life, but I don'twant to do and so we got to pray
(13:58):
right there. And when she madethat decision to say, I cannot
do this on my own. When I'vetried to do things on my own. It
has it has sucked. It's beenhorrible. And so I think that's
what I would say is for peopleto know that maybe they didn't
sense that throughout theirlife, maybe that as young as I
did, as you give your heart tothe Lord, and you just say, God,
(14:21):
I want to trust you with mylife. I can't do this on my own.
And I want you to fill my heartand to guide me and teach me
more about you. He is going toshow you that he was indeed with
you. From that time, from thetime you were born. And he was
with us through those difficultthings that you went through,
and that those things were notcaused by Him. The Bible says
(14:42):
that every good and perfect giftcomes from God. So anything else
that is not good and perfectcomes from the enemy and the
enemy wants to steal, kill anddestroy and that's what the
Bible says. He tells us plainly,
Michelle (14:55):
right and I think people sometimes wonder when bad
things happen. They wonder whereWhere is God? But when we know
the word we understand the Bibletells us to expect trouble. In
this world, there will betrouble but take heart I have
overcome the world and right,that's where that peace comes
from.
Lauren (15:11):
That's right.
Michelle (15:12):
So having been through all this, when was that turning
point where you decided that youwere strong enough to now help
other people with what you wentthrough?
Lauren (15:21):
Well, it definitely was a process. And one of the things
that was so impactful for me, itwas pastors in my life that met
with me and prayed with methrough the pain through the
spiritual what I callstrongholds. Fear is a
stronghold shame, and bitternessand control and sorrow. Those
were kind of those five mainthings that were strongholds in
(15:44):
my life. That was a journey aswell of just walking through
each one as they came up. Andthen as I start dating, my
husband more comes up, right?
Because I'm feeling vulnerable,and I'm feeling uncomfortable.
And then when my husband and Igot married, he led us into
pastoring. And so yes, wealways, you know, focused on
other people. But I would say mybreakthrough in helping other
(16:05):
people in this way throughwriting books, has came just
when my kids were little aboutseven years ago.
Michelle (16:16):
So you told me that writing was never something that
you thought you would do. Andthen your husband encouraged you
and actually felt like he knewit was a calling for you. And
then so to do. So can you talkabout that?
Lauren (16:29):
I just couldn't imagine doing anything like that writing
had never come naturally to me.
And so I just felt like I neededto say, Okay, God, if this is
from you, you'll make it happenin your time. And then a year
later, an encounter with mydaughter happened, where she
asked me a question that sparkedme to write my children's book,
she rose of the Bible, which isthe women heroes of the Bible.
(16:52):
And she said, Mom, why does Godthink boys are more important
than girls? And I said, hedoesn't, why would you ask that?
And she said, Well, it seemslike God thinks boys are more
important, because all we learnabout in church, our boys, and
we don't learn about the girls.
And so I'm like, Oh, my gosh,there's so many amazing heroic
(17:13):
women in the Bible, we, youknow, and so anyway, it started
me on this journey of realizingthere's no other books out there
like this, that really helpedkids understand that these women
all experienced fear. And all ofthem experienced, deep fear. And
their fears looked different indifferent ways. You know, one of
(17:34):
them was, you know, maybeafraid, Hannah was afraid she
would never have children. Andthen you've got Deborah, who's
afraid on the battlefield,because she's like, we might I
might die. But, you know, like,very real fears. But I thought,
gosh, like that is one way toteach kids at a young age, how
to conquer that fear, throughtheir faith in Jesus. And so
that's kind of the the messagethrough that book is just let
(17:57):
God's love be greater than yourfear.
Michelle (18:00):
I love the concept of teaching young women about the
strong women of the Bible,because like you said, there are
some great stories that aresuper inspirational for girls
and women. You also said, you'vecompleted a second book about
your personal experience that'sscheduled to be released this
spring.
Lauren (18:17):
Yeah, this book is just really helping other people to
come into freedom from thosefive strongholds that I talked
about, that I think affect a lotof people that go through
trauma, particularly sexualabuse, which is that fear, the
bitterness that control andshame and sorrow, those are just
huge things. So it's veryinteractive, there's discussion
(18:39):
questions at the end of everychapter, or you can do it in a
group or on your own to justreally reflect in and get some
freedom in those areas.
Michelle (18:48):
Wow, that sounds like a really helpful tool for
someone who needs this kind ofsupport. Yeah. You know, when we
were talking before you saidsomething about, well, if you're
a parent that has a child that'sgoing through this, you know,
make sure that they have acounselor that skilled in this
area, if you put yourself intothe mind of maybe a parent who's
listening right now, whose childhas come to them and told them
(19:09):
that they've been abused? Howcan that person deal with the
emotions that are coming in atthe same time, the emotions that
they're dealing with as a motherand then as well as wanting to
support their child who'sexperienced so much trauma?
Lauren (19:22):
There would be such a flood of emotions I and I, I've
not been on that side of things.
But I definitely asked my kidslike, is there anything you need
to tell me, you know, have youfelt uncomfortable or unsafe?
And so at this point, and Ipray, it never happens. But my
kids have been safe from that.
But I can tell you just fromeven my my mom's perspective, of
(19:45):
what she experienced with me,there's a flood of emotions that
come a feelings of out ofcontrol, and it's not fair and
why did this happen? And Ithought I was keeping my child
safe. For I had no idea thisperson was not a safe person.
And so all those feelings, youcan feel guilty and you can feel
(20:08):
angry you, you know, everybodykind of deals with things in
different ways. Some people tendto internalize it and blame
themselves, other people lashout and get really angry with
the world. Um, sometimes it's alittle bit of both. And so I
think the most important thingto do is to have a relationship
(20:28):
with Jesus so that you can beginto put those burdens on him
because he can carry it, youcan't carry it, there's no
amount that you can carry, it'stoo hard. Yeah. And so when we
have Jesus, we can say, Jesus,You take my burdens, you take my
shame, you take my anger, youtake all the ways I feel like
(20:50):
control or bitterness towardsthis person who did this, all of
it, the guilt, and then he cantake that for you. But I do
think it's important to on apractical level, to have a
counselor, or a pastor orsomebody that you're meeting
with regularly to try to processthrough those feelings that are
going to be coming up. Becauseevery time your child tells you
(21:13):
where you're watching it impacttheir life, it, it's going to re
trigger you those feelings ofguilt or anger or whatever. So
it's it's a continual process ofsaying Jesus helped me and the
Lord bring the right person intomy life and helped me to find
that right person that will helpme process as these things come
up.
Michelle (21:33):
Yeah, very good advice. And the other thing that
I think about must be reallydifficult for both, maybe the
parent and also the victim ofthe abuse would be forgiveness.
How do you even touch on thatsubject was such a painful
thing?
Lauren (21:46):
Well, I think that's a timing issue in everybody's
life, but we are all going to befaced with that decision of
whether we're going to forgiveor not forgive. And, you know,
with the person that Imentioned, that I'm meeting with
now, this 20 year old, whereshe's at right now and the
rawness of where she is, I mean,every other word is a cuss word,
(22:09):
she's just really angry. And Iwould not dare to talk about
forgiveness yet, because forher, she needs to, she needs to
personally heal. Yeah, beforeshe can really make that
decision fluently. And for me,I, you know, I experienced a lot
of healing so that I couldfinally see clearly and be able
(22:32):
to make that decision. And I dokeep coming back to that word
decision. Because forgiveness isnot an emotion, it is a choice.
And it's a decision of the willthat we make. And one of the
things that I share about in mybook is the story of Corrie 10,
boom. If you've you know, forthose of you who haven't heard
of her, she was alive during theNazi reign, the Nazis took over
(22:56):
her homeland and long storyshort, she ended up in a
concentration camp. And shewatched so many people die
around her. But after shesurvived the war, her sister did
not survive. Her dad did notsurvive. So many family members
died. And she experienced greatloss and trauma. And the Lord
(23:17):
had her speak about herexperiences to the to the I want
to say she was in Germany whenshe actually was in she, it
didn't happen in Germany, butshe went back to Germany and was
speaking in Germany and sharingabout forgiveness and God's love
and how she wants to forgive andlove those that abused her and
(23:40):
her family. Well, at the end ofher talk, a man comes forward.
And he says off, it's so goodthat you say that we can be
forgiven. She knew exactly whohe was. He was a Nazi guard at
the camp where her sister waskilled, and he was one of the
most brutal and so she juststood stone cold in terror and
(24:01):
anger as she's watching this mantried to receive this
forgiveness from God and hesaid, I, I have received Jesus
and I'm so thankful that I'mforgiven by him, but will you
forgive me? And he asked herdirectly, what do you forgive me
basically, for the murder andeverything that I did, and he
didn't remember her at all. Butshe because she was one of 1000s
(24:23):
that he abused, but she sheremembered him and she remembers
saying she was still angry. Andin her heart, she said, God, I
cannot forgive this man. But youcan help me forgive him. And as
soon as she asked the Lord tohelp her, forgive him, and to
make that choice, she felt likewhat felt like electricity ran
(24:45):
through her her body and intoher arm. And she reached out her
hand and made the decision tosay, Yes, I will forgive you.
And as soon as she did, shestarted to sob, and she began to
feel it but the feelings cameafter she made a decision. Isn't
first to say, I'm going tochoose to forgive you. But God
helped me that
Michelle (25:05):
isn't always going to be that way with every Oh, it's
not always a feeling ofelectricity. And it's a choice.
That doesn't always happen.
Lauren (25:13):
That's right. Yeah, it definitely affects everybody
different. In my for my ownexperience, when I realized that
I had not actually forgiven myabuser, I made that decision on
my own to go, Okay, I'm going tochoose to forgive him with my
mind. And all the people thatabused me, I'm going to choose
(25:34):
to forgive them, right. I didn'tfeel anything. I didn't feel any
different. But I made thatdecision. But I started to
realize that true breakthroughhappens, true healing for
ourselves happen when we can letthe other people go,
unforgiveness and bitternessholds like shackles on us to
that other person. So when wecan say I choose to forgive
(25:57):
them, God release them from me,I release them, you're actually
not just extending forgivenessto them, you're releasing
yourself and allowing yourselfto really be able to walk in the
fullness of healing,
Michelle (26:12):
powerful. Yeah. So Lauren, you've shared so many
great insights with us havinglived through the trauma of
abuse for the survivor, as wellas the family members who are
providing support. You want themto know that therapy with the
right counselor can be a greatbenefit to aid in their road to
recovery. You shared that fearis more than just an emotion,
(26:37):
but actually a spiritualstronghold that can be overcome
by prayer and faith. Youexperience a flood of emotions
in the aftermath of your abuse,and you now understand that it's
okay to feel anger, bitterness,guilt, shame, and sorrow. You
(26:57):
know, that walking through andsurviving painful experiences
can serve as a platform forhelping others when shared. And
you talked about the power offorgiveness, and that we all
must decide for ourselves, howand when to make the choice to
forgive, that's best for us. Andyou reminded us that God's love
is greater than our fears, andthat his kindness and nearness
(27:21):
to us can be a great source ofcomfort and pain. Lauren, what
other big life lessons have youlearned having been through all
of this?
Lauren (27:30):
Well, I'd say the first thing is not letting your
feelings dictate your decisions.
Because again, our feelings canlie to us, where every time I
felt fear, which it could beanything from fear that I'm
going to be killed. So I don'tgo drive in my car, because I'm
afraid something can happen. orfear of speaking in front of
(27:51):
people or fear of doing thispodcast, I could easily give
into that feeling of fear andsay, well, then Lauren, like, be
nice to yourself, you don't haveto go on that podcast. Warren be
just be gentle with yourself.
You don't have to go, you know,speak at that event, or you
don't have to write this book.
It's okay. You know, which istrue. I could be you know, but
(28:14):
at the same time, I'm notgetting the very best that God
has for me because I'm bowingdown to fear and innocence. So I
had somebody say something to meone time that I think if there's
anything that people couldreally glean from this. It's
this. She's my friend was goingthrough, like an addiction
(28:35):
therapy session, and thiscounselor said to her, what is
on the other side of fear? Andbecause her counselor been
talking about all these fearsthat she was having, that was
ultimately why she was trying toself medicate, right? And she is
she said, I have no idea what'son the other side of fear. And
he said, everything you've everwanted. everything your heart
(28:59):
has longs for. Everything you'veever desired, everything God has
for you, is on that other sideof that bully, of fear. And if
we can recognize that and pushpast our feelings, and say, I'm
not going to let that stop me, Iam going to take a step forward
(29:20):
into what God has for me, evenwhen I feel really uncomfortable
or scared or sick or whatever.
I'm going to press in and pressthrough, then you will you will
watch God do breakthrough afterbreakthrough after breakthrough.
Because I'll tell you sevenyears ago when I wrote she rose
(29:40):
of the Bible, there's no waythat I did not think I was
saying yes to speaking inpublic. I did not think I was
saying yes to being on podcasts,or writing another book with all
of my story in it. But when Imade that choice to sit down and
begin to pen it and write it andreally just let God move then
there's That realization if Idon't tell people about it,
(30:02):
nobody's going to know aboutthis, I have to go talk. So he
rushed me through a new thing offear of getting in front of
people, which I would haverather died, you know, really.
And so it's just he's it's justbreakthrough after breakthrough
that happens when we say yes toGod and no to our feelings. So
that'd be the main thing I wouldsay would be the biggest lessons
(30:22):
I've learned
Michelle (30:23):
was so good, so good.
Well, I want you to talk forjust a minute about where
listeners can go to learn moreabout you what you do, and also
get a copy of that book.
Lauren (30:32):
Yeah. So right now on my website, my website is Lauren l
nelson.com. And they can gothere and learn where to buy it.
Currently, Amazon or Barnes andNoble, or basically, anywhere
online bookstores are, you canfind she rose of the Bible,
which is a children's book,soon, I'm going to have that
(30:53):
available on my website, we'rein the middle of a
transformation of my websiteright now. So you can't purchase
it directly on there yet, but itwill be on there soon. Maybe by
the time your listeners hearthis, it will be already up and
running. And then my other bookis going to be coming out most
likely in the spring or summer.
And so that's another way on mywebsite, Lauren l nelson.com,
you'll be able to find out aboutthat upcoming book, which is my
(31:17):
story, and processing throughtrauma. So and then I'm actually
going to be doing life coachingpretty soon in the next six
months, I'll be certified to bea trauma and resiliency coach,
life coach to be able to helpother people, whether it's
through zoom, I might be ingroups or individual, but
there'll be opportunities to beable to do that. So I'm excited
(31:38):
about that business as
Michelle (31:41):
well. Congratulations on that. Lauren. You really did.
You busted through fear. Allright.
Lauren (31:47):
I punched it in the face.
Michelle (31:50):
Hey, well, I just want to thank you so much for
agreeing to come on the showtoday. It was just so wonderful
talking to you.
Lauren (31:56):
Thank you. It was an honor to be here. I really
appreciate it.
Michelle (31:59):
Great, Lauren.So for those of you listening, I know
this was a difficult topic toexplore today. And if you're in
a situation like this one, It'smy prayer that you will find the
support you need. Lauren'ssituation was a bad one. And
when her memories returned, sodid the fear and anxiety that
(32:20):
would attempt to overtake herlife. But the key thing to
remember is that she didovercome her situation. She
sought help, stayed strong inher faith, and then found the
resolve to help others with thelessons she learned. Whatever
loss you're experiencing rightnow, please remember that you
can survive it and ultimatelyovercome any negative emotions.
(32:44):
If you make the choice to justpress on. You'll learn from the
difficult times emerge stronger.
And finally, you'll be more thanqualified to help someone else
with the lessons you learned inyour loss. Thanks for listening
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