January 6, 2023 • 31 mins
When a fall down the stairs resulted in disability, chronic pain and emotional hardship, Darci realized her life would never be the same. Listen in to this inspirational story about a woman who realized her purpose through adversity and discovered gifts in her suffering.
https://www.darcijsteiner.com/
#suddendisability #CRPS #beautybeyondthethorns #chronicpain #suffering
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Michelle (00:10):
Well, hey everybody, and welcome back to Qualified,
the place where incrediblepeople share their stories of
overcoming great adversity andloss to inspire you and give you
hope. I'm Michelle Heaton. Lossis so difficult. And the thing
is, we never really know howhard it will hit us. until it
(00:31):
does. I can remember an empathyexercise I participated in
during my training to become ahospice volunteer. They had us
write down on individual stripsof paper, the names of three
people that meant the most tous. The three tangible objects
(00:51):
that we cherish most in thislife. And then three physical
abilities that we enjoy, likerunning or writing or gardening.
We were told to flip each stripof paper over and place them on
the table in front of us. Andthen someone came by and
randomly took away one of ourlittle strips of paper one at a
time. We were made to imagine alife after each loss until we
(01:17):
had only one left. You mighthave ended up with the paper
that name the person you lovethe most. Or you may have
discovered that you were leftwith only one of your treasured
things. But for a moment,imagine that many of your
physical abilities, the thingsyou took for granted, all these
years were now gone. Well, myguest today is well qualified to
(01:42):
discuss this type of loss havinglived through two separate
accidents that took her fromactive and healthy to severely
disabled and living with chronicpain. She has come a long way
since that time, and she's nowan author, a speaker and a
nutritionist. Her name is DarciSteiner. And it's my honor to
have her as my guest on the showtoday. Welcome to qualify Darci.
Darci (02:06):
Thank you so much for having me, Michelle, it's an
honor to be here.
Michelle (02:10):
Well, thank you.
Well set it up for us if youwould by telling us about the
accident that caused you to bebedridden back in 2001.
Darci (02:21):
You bet. So back then, I was a young mother 35. With two
young children, they were twoand a half and five, my
daughters. And we were enjoyinggetting ready for the holiday
season, and setting up Christmasthings and we wanted to listen
(02:41):
to some music. And the music wasupstairs. So I ran up the stairs
as young mothers do foreverything. And then name and
ran back down the stairs. Andthat was the problem because at
the top of the stairs was adrawing of one of my daughters
(03:04):
that I slipped on. And thatpaper I didn't know would lead
to disability. And so as Istarted tumbling, I ended up
somehow I don't know how but Ihurdled the baby gate at the
bottom of the stairs. And byhurdling it. I hurt my ankle
(03:29):
when I landed. And then thattwisted me and turned me into a
wall. So I hit a wall, whichthen flipped me and I face
planted into the ground. So youcan imagine the injury to my
back was pretty severe.
Michelle (03:46):
That sounds awful than you're right. I can only imagine
the pain you must have been inat that very moment. So tell us
what followed. I know you wereconfined to a bed for a very
long time. Can you share yourdiagnosis and describe those
early days and how you werefeeling about it all?
Darci (04:04):
You bet. So you know this, this disability, I ended
up spending more and more timein bed. And then I developed a
condition called CRPS. It'scomplex regional pain syndrome.
And it's not very common, but itis very painful. In fact, when
(04:27):
measured on a pain scale, itmeasures the highest pain, one
can feel. And there is no cure.
And the thing with CRPS is eventhe slightest touch is so
painful. I could not even bearthe weight of the sheet on my
body. So my husband had builtthis tent to put the sheath over
(04:50):
so that I could at least keepsome works close to my body with
this tent. that we had to bevery creative. Sounds like he,
you know, he took care of me, hetook care of the kids he was
working at night and taking careof the kids during the day, it
(05:13):
was chaotic. And I am becomingdepressed because there's
nothing more that I want and tobe with my family, to be with my
kids, you know, I chose to stayhome and not work well, I had a
daycare in my home. And so I hadto stop doing that. But, you
(05:35):
know, these kids are are fiveand two and a house and they're
reaching for me, they want me tohold them. And the day before,
the last day, I held mydaughter, I held her all day
because she had double earinfection. And that's why I
remember the last day that Iheld her because it was higher
(05:58):
day. And it was like a gift thatGod gave me to hold her for the
entire day, knowing that Iwouldn't ever be able to hold
her again.
Michelle (06:09):
I am so sorry, Darci that must have been terrible,
not being able to embrace yourchildren as they reached out to
you. You told me before thatdoctors were not able to do very
much and that depression wassetting in. And you were seeing
a counselor to help with that.
But tell us about an interestingturn of events that began when
your counselor offered asuggestion.
Darci (06:33):
So I had been going to doctor after doctor after doctor
to find healing, I had been todozens of doctors. And you know,
after you go to dozens anddozens of doctors, you get a
little discouraged, man was verydifficult for me to even get to
a doctor, that whole process wasjust so involved getting me down
(06:58):
the stairs of my home and into acar required getting a neighbor.
So I realized at that point, andmy counselor helped me realize
that that worry, you need to dosomething different besides
going to another doctor. Maybeyou need to start doing
something different for yourselfthat's more natural. And my
(07:23):
counselor happened to be anutritionist, which is rare, and
it was life giving to me. So Idecided, You know what, I am
going to start looking more atholistic remedies, because
that's what I needed. As Istarted reading, so I could sit
(07:43):
up in bed for about fiveminutes. And then had to lay
down at that's how in how muchpain I was in, I was on a lot of
medication for the pain. So Idecided to sit up five minutes,
you know, and read in thetextbook. I had a textbook that
I was learning differentnutritional remedies from and I
(08:05):
found this nutrition shake, andasked my husband to make it and
when you are in so much pain youstruggle to eat. And so I had
lost a lot of weight, I had losta lot of bone mass, muscle mass,
you name it, I wasdeteriorating. And I was
(08:26):
malnourished. And my doctorswere fearing for my life
actually. So nutrition was thedirection to go. And so I
decided to enroll in a program,which was a master's program
that you could study at home andand mail in your test back then.
And so I did. And it took me itwas a four year program. And it
(08:51):
took me six years, they allowedthe extra two years because they
saw what it was doing for me.
And what it was doing for me washealing me. And I could keep
this nutrition shape down. Andso with amino acids, I was able
to gain some muscle mass whichhelped me gain bone mass. And I
(09:13):
was my case study or my program.
Well, I'm my case study whileI'm studying. And so my papers
were about me what how, and Ipractice these holistic
remedies, not just nutrition,but deep breathing, meditation,
(09:37):
progressive relaxation, all ofthese holistic ways to help calm
anxiety that I had greatly, youknow, because I fear I was going
to die in here I have two youngchildren and a husband.
Michelle (09:54):
So you are pretty much in bed for four years. But when
you started to realize theconnection, but With proper
nutrition and healing for yourbody, you slowly began to regain
other abilities. Right?
Darci (10:06):
Yeah. And so, you know, the nutrition kicked in, I was
able to do a little bit more.
Having had this shake and someother foods that I could eat, I
was able to get to his therapypool and go to warm water
therapy, which was also natural.
(10:27):
And that's where I learned tolock again, was in the water,
you know, when you don't walkfor four years, and then you
take a step, I can't even tellyou the exhilaration that you
feel that I took my first step,and you have to learn to walk
again, because your brainforgets, wow, I have. So I had,
(10:49):
you know, my therapist in thepool with me. And I can picture
it like it was yesterday,putting one foot in front of the
other. And I could only do acouple steps at a time. But then
I built on that, and theneventually was able to walk on
land again, not without pain.
But I could eventually walk onland again. And then drive
again. I started walking on landafter the fifth year, you know,
(11:14):
it took probably seven years mehere. It was actually nine years
before, I didn't have pain wherethe pain disappear. That doesn't
happen with CRPS. It doesn't goaway. It's not supposed to.
There are rare times where itgoes into remission. But then
(11:37):
generally it comes back.
Michelle (11:42):
Well, Darci, that is a lot to go through almost 10
years of a very difficultrecovery. But I'm so glad that
your counselor led you todiscover the value of nutrition
and healing. And that you wereable to use that time that you
were confined to bed to pursuean education and holistic
healing. So now you're in muchless pain, you're walking and
(12:03):
driving, and starting to feellike you're back to your old
sell somewhat. But now you'reinvolved in another accident in
2018. What happened this time?
Darci (12:13):
So at this time, and prior to this, I had opened a
nutrition counseling practice.
So I was teaching people to dothe things that I wished I had
learned before that may haveprevented some of this for me,
and I was loving, having my ownprivate practice and not having
pain anymore. And so people werecoming to me like how, how do we
(12:38):
do this? You know, how do we nothave pain. And of course,
there's the weight loss people,you know, and the weight gain
people because I had alsolearned to gain weight, which
can be difficult. So my daughterat this point is getting
married. So it's her weddingday, and we go to the wedding.
(13:01):
And the wedding was beautiful.
We welcomed our new son in law.
And we were cleaning up at theend of the wedding. And I was
walking by a stack of chairsthat were leaned against the
wall and one of them slid downand took me off my feet and hit
an ankle bone which wasprimarily where my pain was from
(13:25):
the CRPS before. So it hit thesame spot. That was my worst
spot in my ankle. And I knewimmediately Michelle, I knew
immediately that this issomething bigger than just a
sprained ankle. I hoped that itwould be less but I kind of knew
(13:49):
this has been retriggered. Andit indeed was.
Michelle (13:57):
Well you mentioned before that CRPS pretty much
always returned similar to avirus that's lying dormant in
the body. So how did it impactyour body this time?
Darci (14:09):
It all returned and I cried like a baby all the way
home in pain from my daughter'swedding rather than rejoicing.
We stopped and got ice and painreliever. And I'm not quite
bedridden, yet I could stillwell I couldn't walk and I
(14:31):
wasn't bedridden. So I justbasically studied my Bible,
because all I could do was sitand then the pain started
increasing and got worse and itstarted to spread throughout my
whole body. Oh my goodness. Somy hands were affected. So not
(14:51):
only could I not lock and Icouldn't use my hands. So I
could no longer hold my Bible. Icouldn't hold a book. And in
fact my hand It's hurts so bad,I couldn't rest them on
anything, I had to pull themstraight up. And that gets
tiring. But I couldn't rest themon anything. And they were
(15:11):
burning hot. So I had the CRPSspread throughout my whole body,
my side, so I couldn't lay on mysides. I still have pain in my
sides, though not as bad. Myhands are better. They're not
100%. But I can't play the pianoanymore. And I was a pianist.
(15:32):
But I cannot do that anymore.
And so yeah, I'm stillstruggling with severe chronic
pain, though not like I was, butI was for for the past four and
a half years, my husband hasbeen my caregiver again. The
thing that's different this timeis the kids are grown, but it
(15:53):
still impacts you. And I have agranddaughter now, and it
impacts her because her othergrandma can pick her up. I
can't. And that, again, I'mfeeling the heartbreak of not
been able to pick up. Just likeI couldn't pick up my young
(16:15):
daughter, I can't pick up myyoung granddaughter. And so
there's the heart. You know, theheartbreak, that's there. It's
not just the physical pain, it'swatching the people walk behind
my house on the trail I used towalk on and wondering, Do they
even know to be grateful for theability to walk, you know. And
(16:40):
just seeing people do normalthings that I longed to do a
long to do the laundry. I loveto cook for my husband, you
know, I longed to play the pianoagain. And so many things that
I've had to grieve, losing, yaknow, it's an emotional journey,
(17:05):
as well as physical journey.
Michelle (17:09):
Darci, my heart just breaks for you listening to
this, especially given all thatyou've been through the first
time. And now here you areagain. But I want to talk about
what transpired during your restand recovery. You wrote a book.
It's called Beauty beyond thethorns. And you talk about all
the ways that you experience joyin the midst of suffering.
(17:31):
Explain that to us.
Darci (17:33):
Yes. So you remember that period of time where I said, I
started reading my Bible all thetime. That was Matthew. And that
study actually helped me when Ibegan losing more function.
Because when you read the Sermonon the Mount, you read, blessed
(17:54):
hid, or the poor in spirit,bless it are those who mourn,
you know, all of these thingsthat are upside down from what
we think in the world and whatwe see in the world, right. And
so I began thinking, you know,I'm gonna start blocking is how
(18:15):
I began. Because I want to writesome of these things down that I
feel the Lord is showing me. AndI felt like, you know, he was
beginning to show me some ofthese gifts that I talked about
in the book. And, and thesubtitle is discovering gifts in
suffering. Mm hmm. discoveredbecause of suffering, not in
(18:41):
spite. Right. And so, thisdisability, these disabilities
began to show up more as a giftthan as something that was mean
that God did to me, you know,like, the God allowed me to go
through. But instead, it waslike, you know, I am persevering
(19:06):
here. And I feel like I'm, I'vereached the end of myself, and
like, I can't go on. But how amI going on? It's because God is
enabling me. And so I began tosee, you know, Darcy, you're
stronger than you think. And Godknows that you're stronger than
(19:29):
you think he's helping you tomove forward, even though you
feel like you can't. So that's agift. And I remember
Michelle (19:39):
reading something that stood out to me. You said,
suffering in our lives oftendoesn't make sense. But God
always has a purpose for it, andit's always for our benefit. Can
you break that down for us?
Darci (19:53):
Yes, you know, God works in the spiritual realm and he
works in what we see thephysical realm that we can't see
the spiritual realm the way thathe can. And so as he was forming
(20:13):
me curving me, as I'm hurting,these things are shaping me for
what my purpose is. suffering inour lives often doesn't make
sense. I mean, when does it evermake sense? That we suffer,
right? Where we always ask why?
You know, for me, why twice?
(20:37):
She? You healed me from thisbefore and what didn't I learn?
So we ask these questions. Youknow why? It doesn't make sense.
But God has a reason for it.
And, you know, just like Joe,Joe could talk to God. They
(20:58):
conversed by job never askedGod, why. And God never told Joe
why. So we can let go of thewhys, then we trust God better.
And just trust that, you know,he loves us. If we trust that He
loves us, he's taking us to aplace. That's good.
Michelle (21:25):
You know, listening to you is so inspirational. And I
know that you're a person offaith. But was there ever a time
during all of this when youdoubted God or question if he
was even there in the midst ofyour suffering?
Darci (21:38):
So for a time, you know, I was, I was pretty upset with
God. Because I could not wrap myhead around. Why again? Huh? Why
again? God, you know, it does nogood to pray. You know, you're
gonna do what you want to doanyway, right? It doesn't matter
(22:01):
what I do. You know, you'rejust, you're gonna do what you
want. Anyway. And so what is thepoint in praying? So, I stopped
praying for time, because I feltlike, it doesn't matter. You
know, and I just wrestled, Iwrestled for a couple of months.
(22:28):
With what is my, what has beenthe foundation of my faith? Is
it God answering my prayers andthe way that I want him to? Or
is it trusting Him? And, youknow, I wanted to kind of change
up my prayers. Anyway, I feltlike I was praying, Genie
(22:50):
prayers, like, rub the bottle.
Give me what I want, what Ineed, what I think I need, let
me direct this because I'm doinga pretty good job directing my
life right now. Right? You know,and what's so bad about walking,
that you would take it from me.
(23:11):
I was just struggling?
Michelle (23:16):
Well, I think it's amazing that you were able to
rebound from that and get to aplace of faith and hope. I
thought it was so beautiful thatyou name each chapter of your
book for each of the gifts thatyou receive from God, as a
result of your adversity. Andthere's 30 chapters in the book.
If you had to pick just one ofthose gifts, which one was most
(23:37):
significant to you?
Darci (23:39):
Gratitude. The gift of gratitude became the most
profound to me, because Goddidn't take everything away from
me. There was still good, Istill have the best husband in
the world. My kids are awesome,you know, and I started looking
(24:01):
at the things that I still hadvery good, and then I could
still enjoy despite theinability to walk, I could still
enjoy things, find joy insuffering. Even though I
couldn't walk, I could still bejoyful, by learning to enjoy
(24:24):
different things and what I wasfocused on my loss. And when so
when I wrote about the gift ofgratitude in my book, I talk
about the 10 lepers. There's astory in the Bible of 10 lepers
that God heals. And one of themcame back to thank him. So what
(24:55):
happened to the other nine theynever came. came back, you know,
they must not have beengrateful, even though God healed
from leprosy, right? You know,but the one came back. So I
decided to focus on the one, anine, I decided I want to be
(25:19):
like the one letter, who'sgrateful. And so that's how that
story came into my life is, I'mgoing to be the one that starts
thanking God. So my prayerschanged from those Genie
prayers, in asking God to dothis, and that, and this and
(25:39):
that, for me, like and myprayers became, God, I'm so
grateful that You have given mea husband who is caring for me
through this disability, and weare actually drawing closer to
one another than we were when Iwasn't disabled. Beautiful. We
(26:02):
were growing closer, despite thedisability.
Michelle (26:07):
It's interesting how so many people cite gratitude as
one of the best ways to overcomeadversity. Thank you so much for
sharing that. So Darci, givenyour situation, the disability,
the healing, and then gettingknocked back down for a second
time? What lessons have youlearned that you could share
with someone listening, whomight be in a similar situation,
(26:28):
and who needs help right now.
Darci (26:32):
First of all, know that you are not alone. And you have
not been abandoned. God is withyou. He sees you. He's near
here. And so thank him, thankhim, you know, maybe focus on
(26:52):
the little things that you canbe grateful for. And that will
grow into a deeper gratitude forhim. The other things that have
helped me that I hope help you,are you no pain is very selfish.
emotional pain, and physicalpain, want you to focus on you.
(27:19):
However, the antidote to gettingthrough pain is focusing on
other people. And so by turningyourself, turning away from
focusing on yourself and yourpain, try to look in other
people try to do something forsomeone else. And give up
(27:41):
yourself, because it makes youfeel better. Yes, because, and
you can grow in yourself andthrough your pain. By crawling
out of your disability, or youremotional pain, or whatever it
is you're going through, doingsomething for someone else,
(28:02):
helps you heal to so it actuallymultiplies. It helps others and
it helps you.
Michelle (28:10):
Well, those are great lessons, and I believe they
apply to so many otherchallenging situations we may
find ourselves in. I'm so gladwe had this opportunity to get
to know each other. And then Icould read your book. Can you
just tell listeners where theycan find out more about you and
also get a copy of your book?
Darci (28:27):
Well, thank you. Hi, you have a website. It's www dot
D'Arcy dar si i middle initialJ. Steiner, s t e i n er.com,
rcj steiner.com. There'sinformation about my speaking
opportunities. I do speak. Likebooks is available on Amazon or
(28:51):
other dot coms, like walmart.comor target.com, Barnes and
noble.com. And there's a studyguide that goes with it. So
Bible study groups have beenusing it with their Bible
studies and all the leading agroup actually at my church,
beginning in a couple of weeksgoing through it with a group of
(29:11):
women there, but it isn't justfor women, it's for men, as
well. And so that that studyguide can be really helpful to
personalize whatever you'regoing through as you're going
through the book. Great.
Michelle (29:27):
Well, thank you for that, Darci. And thank you so
much for agreeing to come on thepodcast and share this story
with us.
Darci (29:34):
Thank you so much for having me today. And thank you
for doing what you do.
Michelle (29:41):
So for those of you listening, I hope you found a
little piece of hope to takeaway from Darcy story. I've
heard it said we're only one caraccident away from being
disabled. That's a soberingthought. In Darcy's case, it was
just one wrong step. Have medown the stairs. People with
(30:03):
disabilities have a hard lifewith physical pain and emotional
suffering. Darcy was alsotreated differently and ignored
when she began to use herwheelchair outside of the home.
There's so much for us to learnhere, not just about how we can
empathize with people who aresuffering, but also how we need
to embrace gratitude for what wehave. I started out this message
(30:27):
by talking about an exercise ofempathy. As a hospice volunteer,
I would need to understand likemy patients, what it feels like
to lose people, things andabilities as we approach the end
of life. loss can make us feelalone. But even after all, she
(30:49):
endured, Darcy turned to God,the one who will never leave us
or forsake us. And she foundcomfort in the midst of her
trials. That's my prayer for youtoday. Thanks for listening.
Well, hey everybody, and welcome back to Qualified,
the place where incrediblepeople share their stories of
overcoming great adversity andloss to inspire you and give you
hope. I'm Michelle Heaton. Lossis so difficult. And the thing
is, we never really know howhard it will hit us. until it
(00:31):
does. I can remember an empathyexercise I participated in
during my training to become ahospice volunteer. They had us
write down on individual stripsof paper, the names of three
people that meant the most tous. The three tangible objects
(00:51):
that we cherish most in thislife. And then three physical
abilities that we enjoy, likerunning or writing or gardening.
We were told to flip each stripof paper over and place them on
the table in front of us. Andthen someone came by and
randomly took away one of ourlittle strips of paper one at a
time. We were made to imagine alife after each loss until we
(01:17):
had only one left. You mighthave ended up with the paper
that name the person you lovethe most. Or you may have
discovered that you were leftwith only one of your treasured
things. But for a moment,imagine that many of your
physical abilities, the thingsyou took for granted, all these
years were now gone. Well, myguest today is well qualified to
(01:42):
discuss this type of loss havinglived through two separate
accidents that took her fromactive and healthy to severely
disabled and living with chronicpain. She has come a long way
since that time, and she's nowan author, a speaker and a
nutritionist. Her name is DarciSteiner. And it's my honor to
have her as my guest on the showtoday. Welcome to qualify Darci.
Darci (02:06):
Thank you so much for having me, Michelle, it's an
honor to be here.
Michelle (02:10):
Well, thank you.
Well set it up for us if youwould by telling us about the
accident that caused you to bebedridden back in 2001.
Darci (02:21):
You bet. So back then, I was a young mother 35. With two
young children, they were twoand a half and five, my
daughters. And we were enjoyinggetting ready for the holiday
season, and setting up Christmasthings and we wanted to listen
(02:41):
to some music. And the music wasupstairs. So I ran up the stairs
as young mothers do foreverything. And then name and
ran back down the stairs. Andthat was the problem because at
the top of the stairs was adrawing of one of my daughters
(03:04):
that I slipped on. And thatpaper I didn't know would lead
to disability. And so as Istarted tumbling, I ended up
somehow I don't know how but Ihurdled the baby gate at the
bottom of the stairs. And byhurdling it. I hurt my ankle
(03:29):
when I landed. And then thattwisted me and turned me into a
wall. So I hit a wall, whichthen flipped me and I face
planted into the ground. So youcan imagine the injury to my
back was pretty severe.
Michelle (03:46):
That sounds awful than you're right. I can only imagine
the pain you must have been inat that very moment. So tell us
what followed. I know you wereconfined to a bed for a very
long time. Can you share yourdiagnosis and describe those
early days and how you werefeeling about it all?
Darci (04:04):
You bet. So you know this, this disability, I ended
up spending more and more timein bed. And then I developed a
condition called CRPS. It'scomplex regional pain syndrome.
And it's not very common, but itis very painful. In fact, when
(04:27):
measured on a pain scale, itmeasures the highest pain, one
can feel. And there is no cure.
And the thing with CRPS is eventhe slightest touch is so
painful. I could not even bearthe weight of the sheet on my
body. So my husband had builtthis tent to put the sheath over
(04:50):
so that I could at least keepsome works close to my body with
this tent. that we had to bevery creative. Sounds like he,
you know, he took care of me, hetook care of the kids he was
working at night and taking careof the kids during the day, it
(05:13):
was chaotic. And I am becomingdepressed because there's
nothing more that I want and tobe with my family, to be with my
kids, you know, I chose to stayhome and not work well, I had a
daycare in my home. And so I hadto stop doing that. But, you
(05:35):
know, these kids are are fiveand two and a house and they're
reaching for me, they want me tohold them. And the day before,
the last day, I held mydaughter, I held her all day
because she had double earinfection. And that's why I
remember the last day that Iheld her because it was higher
(05:58):
day. And it was like a gift thatGod gave me to hold her for the
entire day, knowing that Iwouldn't ever be able to hold
her again.
Michelle (06:09):
I am so sorry, Darci that must have been terrible,
not being able to embrace yourchildren as they reached out to
you. You told me before thatdoctors were not able to do very
much and that depression wassetting in. And you were seeing
a counselor to help with that.
But tell us about an interestingturn of events that began when
your counselor offered asuggestion.
Darci (06:33):
So I had been going to doctor after doctor after doctor
to find healing, I had been todozens of doctors. And you know,
after you go to dozens anddozens of doctors, you get a
little discouraged, man was verydifficult for me to even get to
a doctor, that whole process wasjust so involved getting me down
(06:58):
the stairs of my home and into acar required getting a neighbor.
So I realized at that point, andmy counselor helped me realize
that that worry, you need to dosomething different besides
going to another doctor. Maybeyou need to start doing
something different for yourselfthat's more natural. And my
(07:23):
counselor happened to be anutritionist, which is rare, and
it was life giving to me. So Idecided, You know what, I am
going to start looking more atholistic remedies, because
that's what I needed. As Istarted reading, so I could sit
(07:43):
up in bed for about fiveminutes. And then had to lay
down at that's how in how muchpain I was in, I was on a lot of
medication for the pain. So Idecided to sit up five minutes,
you know, and read in thetextbook. I had a textbook that
I was learning differentnutritional remedies from and I
(08:05):
found this nutrition shake, andasked my husband to make it and
when you are in so much pain youstruggle to eat. And so I had
lost a lot of weight, I had losta lot of bone mass, muscle mass,
you name it, I wasdeteriorating. And I was
(08:26):
malnourished. And my doctorswere fearing for my life
actually. So nutrition was thedirection to go. And so I
decided to enroll in a program,which was a master's program
that you could study at home andand mail in your test back then.
And so I did. And it took me itwas a four year program. And it
(08:51):
took me six years, they allowedthe extra two years because they
saw what it was doing for me.
And what it was doing for me washealing me. And I could keep
this nutrition shape down. Andso with amino acids, I was able
to gain some muscle mass whichhelped me gain bone mass. And I
(09:13):
was my case study or my program.
Well, I'm my case study whileI'm studying. And so my papers
were about me what how, and Ipractice these holistic
remedies, not just nutrition,but deep breathing, meditation,
(09:37):
progressive relaxation, all ofthese holistic ways to help calm
anxiety that I had greatly, youknow, because I fear I was going
to die in here I have two youngchildren and a husband.
Michelle (09:54):
So you are pretty much in bed for four years. But when
you started to realize theconnection, but With proper
nutrition and healing for yourbody, you slowly began to regain
other abilities. Right?
Darci (10:06):
Yeah. And so, you know, the nutrition kicked in, I was
able to do a little bit more.
Having had this shake and someother foods that I could eat, I
was able to get to his therapypool and go to warm water
therapy, which was also natural.
(10:27):
And that's where I learned tolock again, was in the water,
you know, when you don't walkfor four years, and then you
take a step, I can't even tellyou the exhilaration that you
feel that I took my first step,and you have to learn to walk
again, because your brainforgets, wow, I have. So I had,
(10:49):
you know, my therapist in thepool with me. And I can picture
it like it was yesterday,putting one foot in front of the
other. And I could only do acouple steps at a time. But then
I built on that, and theneventually was able to walk on
land again, not without pain.
But I could eventually walk onland again. And then drive
again. I started walking on landafter the fifth year, you know,
(11:14):
it took probably seven years mehere. It was actually nine years
before, I didn't have pain wherethe pain disappear. That doesn't
happen with CRPS. It doesn't goaway. It's not supposed to.
There are rare times where itgoes into remission. But then
(11:37):
generally it comes back.
Michelle (11:42):
Well, Darci, that is a lot to go through almost 10
years of a very difficultrecovery. But I'm so glad that
your counselor led you todiscover the value of nutrition
and healing. And that you wereable to use that time that you
were confined to bed to pursuean education and holistic
healing. So now you're in muchless pain, you're walking and
(12:03):
driving, and starting to feellike you're back to your old
sell somewhat. But now you'reinvolved in another accident in
2018. What happened this time?
Darci (12:13):
So at this time, and prior to this, I had opened a
nutrition counseling practice.
So I was teaching people to dothe things that I wished I had
learned before that may haveprevented some of this for me,
and I was loving, having my ownprivate practice and not having
pain anymore. And so people werecoming to me like how, how do we
(12:38):
do this? You know, how do we nothave pain. And of course,
there's the weight loss people,you know, and the weight gain
people because I had alsolearned to gain weight, which
can be difficult. So my daughterat this point is getting
married. So it's her weddingday, and we go to the wedding.
(13:01):
And the wedding was beautiful.
We welcomed our new son in law.
And we were cleaning up at theend of the wedding. And I was
walking by a stack of chairsthat were leaned against the
wall and one of them slid downand took me off my feet and hit
an ankle bone which wasprimarily where my pain was from
(13:25):
the CRPS before. So it hit thesame spot. That was my worst
spot in my ankle. And I knewimmediately Michelle, I knew
immediately that this issomething bigger than just a
sprained ankle. I hoped that itwould be less but I kind of knew
(13:49):
this has been retriggered. Andit indeed was.
Michelle (13:57):
Well you mentioned before that CRPS pretty much
always returned similar to avirus that's lying dormant in
the body. So how did it impactyour body this time?
Darci (14:09):
It all returned and I cried like a baby all the way
home in pain from my daughter'swedding rather than rejoicing.
We stopped and got ice and painreliever. And I'm not quite
bedridden, yet I could stillwell I couldn't walk and I
(14:31):
wasn't bedridden. So I justbasically studied my Bible,
because all I could do was sitand then the pain started
increasing and got worse and itstarted to spread throughout my
whole body. Oh my goodness. Somy hands were affected. So not
(14:51):
only could I not lock and Icouldn't use my hands. So I
could no longer hold my Bible. Icouldn't hold a book. And in
fact my hand It's hurts so bad,I couldn't rest them on
anything, I had to pull themstraight up. And that gets
tiring. But I couldn't rest themon anything. And they were
(15:11):
burning hot. So I had the CRPSspread throughout my whole body,
my side, so I couldn't lay on mysides. I still have pain in my
sides, though not as bad. Myhands are better. They're not
100%. But I can't play the pianoanymore. And I was a pianist.
(15:32):
But I cannot do that anymore.
And so yeah, I'm stillstruggling with severe chronic
pain, though not like I was, butI was for for the past four and
a half years, my husband hasbeen my caregiver again. The
thing that's different this timeis the kids are grown, but it
(15:53):
still impacts you. And I have agranddaughter now, and it
impacts her because her othergrandma can pick her up. I
can't. And that, again, I'mfeeling the heartbreak of not
been able to pick up. Just likeI couldn't pick up my young
(16:15):
daughter, I can't pick up myyoung granddaughter. And so
there's the heart. You know, theheartbreak, that's there. It's
not just the physical pain, it'swatching the people walk behind
my house on the trail I used towalk on and wondering, Do they
even know to be grateful for theability to walk, you know. And
(16:40):
just seeing people do normalthings that I longed to do a
long to do the laundry. I loveto cook for my husband, you
know, I longed to play the pianoagain. And so many things that
I've had to grieve, losing, yaknow, it's an emotional journey,
(17:05):
as well as physical journey.
Michelle (17:09):
Darci, my heart just breaks for you listening to
this, especially given all thatyou've been through the first
time. And now here you areagain. But I want to talk about
what transpired during your restand recovery. You wrote a book.
It's called Beauty beyond thethorns. And you talk about all
the ways that you experience joyin the midst of suffering.
(17:31):
Explain that to us.
Darci (17:33):
Yes. So you remember that period of time where I said, I
started reading my Bible all thetime. That was Matthew. And that
study actually helped me when Ibegan losing more function.
Because when you read the Sermonon the Mount, you read, blessed
(17:54):
hid, or the poor in spirit,bless it are those who mourn,
you know, all of these thingsthat are upside down from what
we think in the world and whatwe see in the world, right. And
so I began thinking, you know,I'm gonna start blocking is how
(18:15):
I began. Because I want to writesome of these things down that I
feel the Lord is showing me. AndI felt like, you know, he was
beginning to show me some ofthese gifts that I talked about
in the book. And, and thesubtitle is discovering gifts in
suffering. Mm hmm. discoveredbecause of suffering, not in
(18:41):
spite. Right. And so, thisdisability, these disabilities
began to show up more as a giftthan as something that was mean
that God did to me, you know,like, the God allowed me to go
through. But instead, it waslike, you know, I am persevering
(19:06):
here. And I feel like I'm, I'vereached the end of myself, and
like, I can't go on. But how amI going on? It's because God is
enabling me. And so I began tosee, you know, Darcy, you're
stronger than you think. And Godknows that you're stronger than
(19:29):
you think he's helping you tomove forward, even though you
feel like you can't. So that's agift. And I remember
Michelle (19:39):
reading something that stood out to me. You said,
suffering in our lives oftendoesn't make sense. But God
always has a purpose for it, andit's always for our benefit. Can
you break that down for us?
Darci (19:53):
Yes, you know, God works in the spiritual realm and he
works in what we see thephysical realm that we can't see
the spiritual realm the way thathe can. And so as he was forming
(20:13):
me curving me, as I'm hurting,these things are shaping me for
what my purpose is. suffering inour lives often doesn't make
sense. I mean, when does it evermake sense? That we suffer,
right? Where we always ask why?
You know, for me, why twice?
(20:37):
She? You healed me from thisbefore and what didn't I learn?
So we ask these questions. Youknow why? It doesn't make sense.
But God has a reason for it.
And, you know, just like Joe,Joe could talk to God. They
(20:58):
conversed by job never askedGod, why. And God never told Joe
why. So we can let go of thewhys, then we trust God better.
And just trust that, you know,he loves us. If we trust that He
loves us, he's taking us to aplace. That's good.
Michelle (21:25):
You know, listening to you is so inspirational. And I
know that you're a person offaith. But was there ever a time
during all of this when youdoubted God or question if he
was even there in the midst ofyour suffering?
Darci (21:38):
So for a time, you know, I was, I was pretty upset with
God. Because I could not wrap myhead around. Why again? Huh? Why
again? God, you know, it does nogood to pray. You know, you're
gonna do what you want to doanyway, right? It doesn't matter
(22:01):
what I do. You know, you'rejust, you're gonna do what you
want. Anyway. And so what is thepoint in praying? So, I stopped
praying for time, because I feltlike, it doesn't matter. You
know, and I just wrestled, Iwrestled for a couple of months.
(22:28):
With what is my, what has beenthe foundation of my faith? Is
it God answering my prayers andthe way that I want him to? Or
is it trusting Him? And, youknow, I wanted to kind of change
up my prayers. Anyway, I feltlike I was praying, Genie
(22:50):
prayers, like, rub the bottle.
Give me what I want, what Ineed, what I think I need, let
me direct this because I'm doinga pretty good job directing my
life right now. Right? You know,and what's so bad about walking,
that you would take it from me.
(23:11):
I was just struggling?
Michelle (23:16):
Well, I think it's amazing that you were able to
rebound from that and get to aplace of faith and hope. I
thought it was so beautiful thatyou name each chapter of your
book for each of the gifts thatyou receive from God, as a
result of your adversity. Andthere's 30 chapters in the book.
If you had to pick just one ofthose gifts, which one was most
(23:37):
significant to you?
Darci (23:39):
Gratitude. The gift of gratitude became the most
profound to me, because Goddidn't take everything away from
me. There was still good, Istill have the best husband in
the world. My kids are awesome,you know, and I started looking
(24:01):
at the things that I still hadvery good, and then I could
still enjoy despite theinability to walk, I could still
enjoy things, find joy insuffering. Even though I
couldn't walk, I could still bejoyful, by learning to enjoy
(24:24):
different things and what I wasfocused on my loss. And when so
when I wrote about the gift ofgratitude in my book, I talk
about the 10 lepers. There's astory in the Bible of 10 lepers
that God heals. And one of themcame back to thank him. So what
(24:55):
happened to the other nine theynever came. came back, you know,
they must not have beengrateful, even though God healed
from leprosy, right? You know,but the one came back. So I
decided to focus on the one, anine, I decided I want to be
(25:19):
like the one letter, who'sgrateful. And so that's how that
story came into my life is, I'mgoing to be the one that starts
thanking God. So my prayerschanged from those Genie
prayers, in asking God to dothis, and that, and this and
(25:39):
that, for me, like and myprayers became, God, I'm so
grateful that You have given mea husband who is caring for me
through this disability, and weare actually drawing closer to
one another than we were when Iwasn't disabled. Beautiful. We
(26:02):
were growing closer, despite thedisability.
Michelle (26:07):
It's interesting how so many people cite gratitude as
one of the best ways to overcomeadversity. Thank you so much for
sharing that. So Darci, givenyour situation, the disability,
the healing, and then gettingknocked back down for a second
time? What lessons have youlearned that you could share
with someone listening, whomight be in a similar situation,
(26:28):
and who needs help right now.
Darci (26:32):
First of all, know that you are not alone. And you have
not been abandoned. God is withyou. He sees you. He's near
here. And so thank him, thankhim, you know, maybe focus on
(26:52):
the little things that you canbe grateful for. And that will
grow into a deeper gratitude forhim. The other things that have
helped me that I hope help you,are you no pain is very selfish.
emotional pain, and physicalpain, want you to focus on you.
(27:19):
However, the antidote to gettingthrough pain is focusing on
other people. And so by turningyourself, turning away from
focusing on yourself and yourpain, try to look in other
people try to do something forsomeone else. And give up
(27:41):
yourself, because it makes youfeel better. Yes, because, and
you can grow in yourself andthrough your pain. By crawling
out of your disability, or youremotional pain, or whatever it
is you're going through, doingsomething for someone else,
(28:02):
helps you heal to so it actuallymultiplies. It helps others and
it helps you.
Michelle (28:10):
Well, those are great lessons, and I believe they
apply to so many otherchallenging situations we may
find ourselves in. I'm so gladwe had this opportunity to get
to know each other. And then Icould read your book. Can you
just tell listeners where theycan find out more about you and
also get a copy of your book?
Darci (28:27):
Well, thank you. Hi, you have a website. It's www dot
D'Arcy dar si i middle initialJ. Steiner, s t e i n er.com,
rcj steiner.com. There'sinformation about my speaking
opportunities. I do speak. Likebooks is available on Amazon or
(28:51):
other dot coms, like walmart.comor target.com, Barnes and
noble.com. And there's a studyguide that goes with it. So
Bible study groups have beenusing it with their Bible
studies and all the leading agroup actually at my church,
beginning in a couple of weeksgoing through it with a group of
(29:11):
women there, but it isn't justfor women, it's for men, as
well. And so that that studyguide can be really helpful to
personalize whatever you'regoing through as you're going
through the book. Great.
Michelle (29:27):
Well, thank you for that, Darci. And thank you so
much for agreeing to come on thepodcast and share this story
with us.
Darci (29:34):
Thank you so much for having me today. And thank you
for doing what you do.
Michelle (29:41):
So for those of you listening, I hope you found a
little piece of hope to takeaway from Darcy story. I've
heard it said we're only one caraccident away from being
disabled. That's a soberingthought. In Darcy's case, it was
just one wrong step. Have medown the stairs. People with
(30:03):
disabilities have a hard lifewith physical pain and emotional
suffering. Darcy was alsotreated differently and ignored
when she began to use herwheelchair outside of the home.
There's so much for us to learnhere, not just about how we can
empathize with people who aresuffering, but also how we need
to embrace gratitude for what wehave. I started out this message
(30:27):
by talking about an exercise ofempathy. As a hospice volunteer,
I would need to understand likemy patients, what it feels like
to lose people, things andabilities as we approach the end
of life. loss can make us feelalone. But even after all, she
(30:49):
endured, Darcy turned to God,the one who will never leave us
or forsake us. And she foundcomfort in the midst of her
trials. That's my prayer for youtoday. Thanks for listening.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.