September 2, 2022 • 27 mins
When Robert turned down a full-ride scholarship to a major university, his parents began to worry about his future. His subsequent life choices gave them even more concern. Many parents find themselves in the uncomfortable position of having to watch their kids make poor decisions and feeling helpless to do anything about it.
Listen in as Robert shares an incredible story of how he ultimately returned to the values he was taught as a child which changed the course of his life in an amazing and beautiful way.
#prodigalson #hiddenfruitbook #pasttopurpose #robertbass #lessonsinloss #Katrinasurvivor #redeemedonpurpose #motorcycleaccident #learningtowalkagain
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Episode Transcript
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Michelle Heaton (00:10):
Hey everybody, and welcome back to Qualified,
the place where incrediblepeople share their stories of
overcoming great adversity andloss to inspire you and give you
hope. I'm Michelle Heaton. Well,if you're listening today,
you've most likely experiencedsome form of loss in your life.
(00:31):
Losing something or someone thatwe value and cherish in this
life is so difficult. Losses canradically disrupt our lives, and
leave an indelible mark on ourhearts. But losses can also
teach us and change us and makeus stronger if we focus on the
(00:53):
lessons that emerge from ourpain. My guest today has
experienced multiple losses, andhe has an interesting story of
how his life changed as aresult. He's now an accomplished
author, blogger, podcaster, andfull time pastor in the
(01:13):
Jacksonville area of Florida.
His name is Robert Bass, andit's my great honor to have him
on the show today. Welcome toQualified, Robert!
Robert (01:22):
thank you so much for having me.
Michelle Heaton (01:24):
Of course.
Well, Robert, like I said, youhave an interesting story of how
your life got to the place it isnow. But it wasn't an easy road
for you and for the people thatwatched you struggle, namely
your parents. And I think theremay be parents listening today
that are in that place, wherethey're forced to watch a child
(01:46):
make bad decisions that could beimpacting the rest of their
lives. So it's my hope that yourstory will serve as an
inspiration to many today. Solet's get into it. You shared a
lot of the details of these lifeevents in one of your books
called Past to Purpose, which bythe way, was great and very
encouraging for me. And in it,you talk about how after high
(02:10):
school, you decided to attend atechnical trade school to become
an auto mechanic versus going toa big university on a tennis
scholarship. What was yourmotivation for this change in
career plans? And also, how didyour parents react to it?
Robert (02:27):
Yeah, that's a big shift, isn't it? So the moment
happened, I was a 17 year oldteenager, playing in a big
tennis tournament. And in amoment of frustration, I was
losing and wasn't doing well.
You know, it happens as anathlete. But in that moment of
frustration, I got very upset.
(02:48):
And I asked my coach at thetime, after losing, I said, Is
this what the pro life is goingto be like? And because I had a
decision, I had a scholarship,full paid ride, to a big
university. And I was reallyweighing the decision, though,
because it's tough, it is toughas an athlete. And so I asked
(03:09):
him, Is this what it's going tobe like, and he's like, even
worse, he's like, you're gonnahave to work really hard to be
successful. And at that moment,I realized I wasn't having fun
anymore. I did not enjoy what Iwas doing. And so in that moment
of frustration, and losing, Idecided to quit, I turned down
(03:29):
the scholarship. And as you canimagine, my parents were just
floored, shocked, they could notbelieve that I had made that
decision. And so my parents satme down. And they actually told
me that like, hey, look, ifyou're going to turn down this
opportunity, we're actually notgoing to help you with college.
Michelle Heaton (03:48):
Okay, so you pretty much had it made with a
talent for tennis, that wasgoing to pay your way through
school, and you were gonna walkaway from it all. I can see why
your parents would think thatwas a bad decision. But I get it
that you weren't happy. So didyou have a plan B?
Robert (04:06):
I had worked at a car dealership washing cars as a
part time job while I was goingto school and so said, You know
what, I'll just learn to fixcars. It was an easy way to
start making money and so off, Iwent to Houston, Texas, to learn
more about fixing cars.
Michelle Heaton (04:22):
Okay. So right after your graduation, it's
2005. You moved all yourbelongings into your
grandmother's house inMississippi where you were going
to live for a while. And thenwithin a matter of days,
Hurricane Katrina strikes andyou lose everything. Thankfully,
you and your family emerge safeand sound, but you said the
(04:44):
storm had a great impact on you.
Can you talk about how thedevastation of Katrina made you
see things in a new way?
Robert (04:52):
Yeah, absolutely. I can't even believe this story
when I tell it, but I finishedthis trade school and I i had a
plan for my life, I thought Iknew what I was going to do and
what was going to happen. But wemoved back home to Mississippi
to my grandma's house. AndKatrina hit. And luckily, my
immediate family was safe. Butmy grandma's house did flood.
(05:14):
And I lost everything that Ihad. And so I go from college,
and life changed again, andbegin to turn directions. And so
when Katrina hit, I was livingin South Mississippi. And so
many people, like you mentioned,lost everything. And so we go
from, you know, living, I guessa normal life to now having to
(05:36):
do it all over again. And so wehad to just survive, like,
that's the best way that I canexplain it, it went from being
normal to survival mode. And sowithout power, your life
completely changes. We didn'thave sewer for months because of
(05:56):
the devastation and the damage.
And so imagine no power, nosewer, and your, your life just
turns upside down in a moment.
And so you have food for awhile, but who has food for
months. And so especially whenthings are destroyed, and you're
learning to rebuild, you'retrying to figure out what to do
(06:17):
and, and it's not like, it'sjust you, it was everyone, like
the entire cities weredestroyed, the entire coast was
destroyed. I mean, it's so manypeople that you don't really
have anybody to lean on, butyour immediate family and people
that you're close to, I mean, Iremember other people's houses
(06:38):
being in our yard, cars thatfloated down the road. I mean,
it's shocking to even talk aboutthe devastation, and to get a
true picture of it. And so youreally do turn into survival
mode. And what that means ispeople begin to protect
themselves, they think aboutwhat do I need to do? How do I
protect my family? I mean, itwas like a war zone, really, I
(07:01):
mean, people are stealing fromhouses to survive. After weeks
of you know, you start runningout of food, the military comes
in, and the government comes into help but it is very, it's
very harsh, you know, it'ssupportive, very harsh, and you
only get a certain amount ofwater, you only get a certain
amount of your MRE, your mealsthat taste horrible, but it's
(07:24):
better than nothing.
Michelle Heaton (07:25):
Yeah, as you're describing that environment is
so hard to even imagine neverhaving experienced anything like
that personally. And you know,we're so accustomed to having
everything we need within arm'sreach, or just down the road at
the market. But you had norunning water, no electricity,
no sewer, no clothing, all thatwas lost. And you had to rely on
(07:48):
the government agencies for yourdrinking water and food, while
at the same time having to haveyour guard up against people
that might try and steal fromyou. I mean, that's certainly
traumatizing. So the nextchapter in your life comes when
you landed a really good job ata Mercedes Benz dealership, and
you said they paid you verywell. So at this point in your
(08:10):
life, you're not struggling,you're making a great deal of
money. And you've spent some ofit now on a new toy, a
motorcycle. Tell us about thattime in your life, how you were
living then. And then the eventthat happened next?
Robert (08:25):
Yep, so after helping my family for months rebuild and
friends, I got a job inJacksonville, Florida working
for Mercedes Benz and so I gofrom having handing out water
having nothing to having a joband an apartment and more money
than I even imagined. And so,going from nothing to a lot,
(08:46):
takes a very disciplined personto not just spend a lot of
money. And I wasn't quitedisciplined, like I needed to be
as a young you know, 20 year oldand so, started buying things.
One of those was a motorcycleand begin to you know, ride a
motorcycle. I didn't tell myparents, I had a motorcycle at
(09:06):
the time. And so just begin toride this motorcycle because I
had just extra I mean, I go fromhaving nothing poverty level to
just having an abundance. But asyou can imagine going from
nothing to having a lot. It ishard. Like it's hard to have
(09:27):
that discipline. And so yeah, Ihad a I had a motorcycle. It was
driving around. Andunfortunately, being a young
guy, even though I took classes,ended up getting into a
motorcycle accident and had tolearn to walk again. You know,
there was gravel on the road,nothing that I did really, that
caused the accident, but hitthat gravel. My motorcycle just
(09:49):
went flying out from under me.
Michelle Heaton (09:50):
And you didn't tell your parents you were
getting a bike because you knewthey'd be worried about your
safety. And then you had thisterrible accident. You severely
damaged Your knee to the pointwhere you would need months of
physical therapy to even walkagain. And you called on your
mom and dad because you knewthey come through for you. And
they did. But what happenedafter you were healed and back
(10:12):
on your feet?
Robert (10:14):
After I recovered, and again, I'm just so thankful I
had my family there to help merecover take me to physical
therapy. But after I recoveredand learn to walk again, through
that season, I thought I wasinvincible. I didn't think that
nothing else could hurt me now,I had been through Hurricane
Katrina learned to walk again. Imean, I thought I had it figured
out I really did. And so I movedto Destin, Florida for a higher
(10:38):
paying position at Mercedes andwhich is brought more money and
more opportunities. And, youknow, when you when you have
money, it's easier to bepopular. And so I had a lot of
friends had a lot of stuff. AndDestin had a big motorcycle
community, big racing community.
And so I would hang out withpeople. And that's all we would
do was go riding around and Igot friends quickly, or what I
(11:00):
thought, whereas my friends, andyou know, at at a perceived
level of popularity, and so likeI mentioned, I thought I was
invincible. And I was I was at aconcert on the beach, and
Destin, Florida, and I waswearing shorts, flip flops, and
a T shirt riding a motorcycle,had a helmet on. So a little bit
(11:22):
of wisdom. And I was drivinghome at night and ended up
getting into an accident with myfriend actually, who was driving
a motorcycle, it was at nightand we didn't see each other and
ended up crashing into eachother. And it was almost like,
here we go again. I mean, I hadso much Road Rash, and just
bandaged up and me and him bothgot into the accident. And we
(11:45):
were roommates. And so both ofus are now stuck can't help each
other. We needed help needed ourfriends help. And that was such
an eye opening season for mebecause I remember coming out of
the hospital, and the next daytexting friends and calling
people and saying hey, I justgot into accident last night.
(12:05):
And you know, I need help. Andall these food services that
deliver to you didn't exist atthe time. So I'm like, I need
food. Like I need support. Andand no one came. It was so eye
opening like people would textme back. I'm so sorry to hear
that. I hope you get better orlet me know when you get better.
Wow. And it was such a shockingtime in my life where it's like,
(12:29):
Wait a second. This isn'tsupposed to be like this. I
remember my first accident myparents came to help. Yeah. And
so I had support. Then I sawwhat happened in Katrina, where
devastation happened. But yetpeople did come together as much
as they could. And I had familythere then and but now, you
know, my family was kind oflike, alright, this is your
(12:50):
second accident, you're gonnahave to figure out something on
your own things. You're gonnahave to learn the hard way. But
they're still there for me, youknow, as they could. But when I
started to depend on otherpeople, they weren't there.
Yeah, like, I shouldn't bealone. And my roommate can't
help me. He's in the sameproblems later. I could, I heard
(13:10):
he was in as much pain as me.
Yeah. And so again, I foundmyself in a similar situation.
But different this time, like Ireally felt alone. Like, I
really felt like wait, like, Ihave no one to turn to. I don't
(13:30):
know where to go this time. Youknow, just very an isolated
feeling. And so I go from beingpopular with all these people
and all these people knowing me.
But yet now completely alone.
Michelle Heaton (13:45):
That must have been a real wake up call for
you, when all the people youthought were your friends didn't
come through for you. And yourparents are trying to practice a
little tough love and let youfigure things out on your own.
Where did that leave you? Whatdo you do next?
Robert (13:59):
That was the moment where I just remember laying on
the couch in so much pain. Ididn't want to move. I was in so
much pain. I mean, the painmedicine wasn't even working. I
was in that much pain because ofthe road rash. And I remember
thinking back, I grew up inchurch. And my parents took me
to church several times duringthe week. But I remember just
(14:21):
thinking, Okay, I remember myparents helping me. I remember
growing up in church, I needhelp. And so I remember opening
up my Bible in just reading forthe first time and the first
time in a long time, really,because I just thought I could
do things my way. I thought thatokay, I trusted God a long time
(14:41):
ago, and I'm good now. And Ididn't know that there was more.
I just thought that it was youtrust God and you get into
heaven and now you're good.
That's what I thought. Now Iknow much different but it was
this journey that really beganto show me like, I don't have to
be alone. So I remember gettinga ride to a local church and
showing up to this church andcrutches. And when you show up
(15:05):
to church and crutches, you'regonna get attention. And so, you
know, some people greeted me.
And I'll never forget, this guywas sitting on the front row.
And he left his family and cameand sat with me in the back. So
I wouldn't be alone. Nice. Heleft his family on the front row
to come sit with me duringservice and the back row.
Michelle Heaton (15:27):
Kind of different from your friends.
Robert (15:31):
Exactly. Like I was, I was shocked. This guy didn't
know me, but we never metbefore. We didn't even look
alike. I mean, he's completelydifferent older gentleman, you
know, different skin color. Imean, we had nothing in common.
And he sat with me. And I was soshocked. And I remember that
week, he, he, him and his familybrought me food. And cook some
(15:55):
amazing food, like home cookedfood, not even like, you know,
McDonald's or fast food, likeknows home cooked great food,
they would bring me food, he'dpicked me up to bring me where I
needed, even though he had ajob, and I was so blown away.
Like, wait a second, like, is,this is what I was missing?
Like, this is kind of how thingsshould have been because I
(16:17):
experienced it a little bit withmy family. But it's family, you
know, you kind of expect them todo it, right? They love me, they
have to help me. Exactly. And itwas just so eye opening to me
and like, Okay, what I wasmissing this entire time is I
was trying to do it by myself. Ithought I didn't need other
people or need a community. Or Ijust thought I didn't need God.
(16:41):
And it was a very eye openingmoment. For me. It was like,
Okay, there's more. And I wantwhat that more is?
Michelle Heaton (16:47):
Yeah. Well, I love the way all that came
together for you. You told meyou were raised in a family that
had great faith, you grew up inchurch. But even so many kids
that are raised in that kind ofenvironment, will still kind of
wander off the path a little inan attempt to find their own
way, their own independence. Andsometimes the choices they make
(17:10):
will have dire consequences.
Fortunately for you, those rootsof your faith were strong. And
in your darkest moment of need,you remembered and turn to God.
And that led you back to a placewhere you're being taken care
of. That's great. So with all ofthese experiences behind you,
can you share some of those biglife lessons you learned that
(17:31):
might help someone who'slistening? That might be in a
similar situation?
Robert (17:37):
Yeah. And all of those crazy stories that I've been
through one of the things that Ihad a choice, and every single
one of them was how am I goingto choose and respond to this?
Yeah. And I remember justthinking, I'm not going to let
what happened to me, affect me.
So even though I went throughvery difficult things, I made a
(18:02):
choice, I'm not going to letthis affect me. So I'm in a very
hard, difficult situation, but Iam still going to choose to have
joy. I may be in a situationwhere I don't know how I'm gonna
pay my bills. I didn't, I had noidea. There were envelopes
coming in the mail with red. Youknow, they weren't nice letters
(18:23):
anymore. They were, Hey, yougotta pay these bills, or we're
coming for you, and you havetimes in your life, that it can
really steal your peace, reallyjust take everything from you.
But what I found in that seasonwas God was with me. And
therefore his joy and peace waswith me that I didn't have to do
(18:46):
it alone, that there was actualhope. And when we have hope, and
we know that there is helpavailable to us to get us
through these difficult seasons.
Now, this is what was importantfor me, these people that helped
me they couldn't change mysituation, right. My family, I
(19:07):
still had to learn to walkagain. There were still
consequences. There was still adifficult season I had to walk
through. But there was somethingavailable to me in that season
that I didn't know or I hadn'tlearned yet. And so I would just
encourage people like, you know,God's presence is with you. And
he desires to be with you eventhough other people may not that
(19:29):
his love and joy and peace isavailable to us in spite of what
we're going through. Yeah.
Michelle Heaton (19:35):
Well, you told me that everything you had been
through really helped you torealize your need for God, and
how you wanted to go deeper inyour relationship with him. And
ultimately, you went to seminaryand you became a pastor, that's
night and day from where youwere. And I imagine your parents
are very proud of you and theman you've become. I know there
are parents out there that arestill waiting and praying for
(19:59):
their kids to turn and around.
What would you say to thoseparents based on your experience
that might help them keep thefaith?
Robert (20:07):
Yes, my parents told me all the time. We're happy where
you are. But it was difficultfor them. I've talked to them
about it personally, you know,and ask them questions. How was
it for them in that season, andit was difficult, you know,
there's no downplaying it, it Noparent wants to see their child
suffering, and going through adifficult season, but I can
(20:29):
share from my perspective, thatit was love that turned me
around. That it wasn'tdiscipline that it wasn't
rebuking or you know, I've seenpeople quote the Bible in
Scripture and rules in differentthings to try to get people to
act, right. But it was love thatturned me to God, it was the
(20:50):
love of people, it was the loveof my parents, it was receiving
something that I knew I didn'tdeserve. Like, I knew I didn't
deserve people to help me. Ihad, I had betrayed people and
left people and tried to do iton my own. But it was their
love. that drew me to God, thatdrew me to other people. And so,
(21:11):
you know, as a parent, asdifficult as it is, especially
parents and family, like we'recalled to love. As Christians we
are called to love. Jesus saysto love God and love others. And
he makes it that simple. Butit's that difficult, at the same
time, to love people in spite oftheir hurt. You know, I my mom
(21:34):
told me a story. One time shegoes, you were a very difficult
child, when you were in youraccident, because I was hurting.
And I said things that weremean, I said things out of
aggravation, I, I was mad thatthese bills are piling up and I
couldn't control it. And so myparents even remembered the
harsh things that I said that Ihave, you know, ask forgiveness
(21:56):
for. And we have a greatrelationship with my mom and dad
and my entire family. But I didsay things that I wish I
wouldn't have said out of painout of hurt. And so, you know,
for parents out there, your kidsmay say things that are hurtful,
but loving them through it andallowing them to process their
pain is what's going to reallydraw and keep that relationship
(22:17):
healthy in the future.
Michelle Heaton (22:18):
Great advice.
Well, your amazing story doesn'tend there. In fact, it just
keeps getting better. Youeventually met and married your
beautiful wife, Carmen. And wereat that same time blessed by a
new son, Daniel, can you tell usa little bit about how that part
of your life came to be?
Robert (22:40):
Yes. So now that you've got to hear, you know, my
stories and my motorcycleaccidents, the beautiful part
about my wife and son now is mywife was previously married. And
they had a son and her previoushusband passed away in a
motorcycle accident. And so youknow, I don't ride a motorcycle
(23:01):
anymore, okay, that want toknow, that my wife wouldn't let
me even if I wanted to. But thebeautiful part about that story
is me and my wife didn't evenknow each other. We weren't even
in the same areas when thesethings happen. But she walked
with him through a verydifficult season, before he
passed away. And so in a verywild way, God has, you know,
(23:23):
redeemed her life with herhusband passing away, and she
understands what I've beenthrough with my motorcycle
accident and having to recover.
And by the grace of God, Isurvived nothing that I could
have done, really, to survivethose accidents. And so I'm very
grateful for my life. And I usemy life to encourage other
people. And so God has allowedme to be in their life to be a
(23:46):
dad, to a to a kid who didn'thave a dad, whose dad passed
away, and we have a greatrelationship has she's been able
to have a husband, to be thereto help her to raise him. And so
we truly believe, you know thatJesus has paid the price for us,
and that our life is redeemed.
And we've all been given asecond chance to have a family
(24:09):
together. And so we're superthankful. But it's crazy. Yeah,
God brings things together evenamongst our pain and brokenness.
And so, if you were to interviewher, she would have told you she
would have never dreamed thatshe would even have been
remarried, that she could havenever imagined what life would
be like outside of you knowwhat, what had happened.
Michelle Heaton (24:30):
That truly is a beautiful story of redemption
for all three of you. I love it.
Robert, I know there's listenersout there that would love to
learn more about your ministryand get a copy of your book. Can
you tell us where to find that?
Robert (24:45):
Yeah. And so I've been thankful and been blessed to
share a lot of my testimonies. Alot of what I shared today was
out of my first book, passed apurpose and ended up writing a
second book just about yourjourney that you're on now in
And then recently, within thelast few months wrote a new book
called Hidden fruit, about thefruit of the Holy Spirit, like
(25:07):
how to actually have joy in adifficult season, that God is
with you to actually how to havepeace, even though your life
doesn't seem to have any peace.
And so that new book, you canget that at a hidden fruit
book.com On the website, it'salso available on Amazon, Barnes
and Noble, Google all the majorbook distribution websites. And
same thing for the other twobooks. You can get those on
Amazon also.
Michelle Heaton (25:26):
Okay, I'll put links in the show notes for
those and I can't wait to readHidden Fruit. Any final thoughts
you want to pass along before weclose?
Robert (25:43):
Yeah, I just hope that people are encouraged. I really
hope that they would hear youknow what I've been through in
my story, and that they wouldleave hopeful, knowing that even
though your situation may not behopeful, even though you may not
see a way out that it'spossible.
Michelle Heaton (25:59):
Wonderful.
Thank you so much, Robert, foryour ministry, your books, and
especially for agreeing to talkwith me on the podcast today.
Robert (26:07):
You're welcome is a pleasure.
Michelle Heaton (26:10):
So for those of you listening, I hope you heard
the message of faith andperseverance in Robert's story.
His parents had to watch himsuffer the consequences of the
decisions he was making. And itwas a difficult time in their
lives, but they kept the faith.
Proverbs chapter 22, verse sixtells us to train up a child in
(26:30):
the way he should go. And whenhe is old, he will not depart
from it. I love those words.
They have deep meaning for me asa mom. As parents, we plant
those seeds and we pray theywill sprout and grow. At times,
it can be hard, but don't losehope. It is my prayer that one
(26:54):
day you too will have a story totell. That will help someone
else who's struggling, likeRobert did today. Thanks for
listening.
Hey everybody, and welcome back to Qualified,
the place where incrediblepeople share their stories of
overcoming great adversity andloss to inspire you and give you
hope. I'm Michelle Heaton. Well,if you're listening today,
you've most likely experiencedsome form of loss in your life.
(00:31):
Losing something or someone thatwe value and cherish in this
life is so difficult. Losses canradically disrupt our lives, and
leave an indelible mark on ourhearts. But losses can also
teach us and change us and makeus stronger if we focus on the
(00:53):
lessons that emerge from ourpain. My guest today has
experienced multiple losses, andhe has an interesting story of
how his life changed as aresult. He's now an accomplished
author, blogger, podcaster, andfull time pastor in the
(01:13):
Jacksonville area of Florida.
His name is Robert Bass, andit's my great honor to have him
on the show today. Welcome toQualified, Robert!
Robert (01:22):
thank you so much for having me.
Michelle Heaton (01:24):
Of course.
Well, Robert, like I said, youhave an interesting story of how
your life got to the place it isnow. But it wasn't an easy road
for you and for the people thatwatched you struggle, namely
your parents. And I think theremay be parents listening today
that are in that place, wherethey're forced to watch a child
(01:46):
make bad decisions that could beimpacting the rest of their
lives. So it's my hope that yourstory will serve as an
inspiration to many today. Solet's get into it. You shared a
lot of the details of these lifeevents in one of your books
called Past to Purpose, which bythe way, was great and very
encouraging for me. And in it,you talk about how after high
(02:10):
school, you decided to attend atechnical trade school to become
an auto mechanic versus going toa big university on a tennis
scholarship. What was yourmotivation for this change in
career plans? And also, how didyour parents react to it?
Robert (02:27):
Yeah, that's a big shift, isn't it? So the moment
happened, I was a 17 year oldteenager, playing in a big
tennis tournament. And in amoment of frustration, I was
losing and wasn't doing well.
You know, it happens as anathlete. But in that moment of
frustration, I got very upset.
(02:48):
And I asked my coach at thetime, after losing, I said, Is
this what the pro life is goingto be like? And because I had a
decision, I had a scholarship,full paid ride, to a big
university. And I was reallyweighing the decision, though,
because it's tough, it is toughas an athlete. And so I asked
(03:09):
him, Is this what it's going tobe like, and he's like, even
worse, he's like, you're gonnahave to work really hard to be
successful. And at that moment,I realized I wasn't having fun
anymore. I did not enjoy what Iwas doing. And so in that moment
of frustration, and losing, Idecided to quit, I turned down
(03:29):
the scholarship. And as you canimagine, my parents were just
floored, shocked, they could notbelieve that I had made that
decision. And so my parents satme down. And they actually told
me that like, hey, look, ifyou're going to turn down this
opportunity, we're actually notgoing to help you with college.
Michelle Heaton (03:48):
Okay, so you pretty much had it made with a
talent for tennis, that wasgoing to pay your way through
school, and you were gonna walkaway from it all. I can see why
your parents would think thatwas a bad decision. But I get it
that you weren't happy. So didyou have a plan B?
Robert (04:06):
I had worked at a car dealership washing cars as a
part time job while I was goingto school and so said, You know
what, I'll just learn to fixcars. It was an easy way to
start making money and so off, Iwent to Houston, Texas, to learn
more about fixing cars.
Michelle Heaton (04:22):
Okay. So right after your graduation, it's
2005. You moved all yourbelongings into your
grandmother's house inMississippi where you were going
to live for a while. And thenwithin a matter of days,
Hurricane Katrina strikes andyou lose everything. Thankfully,
you and your family emerge safeand sound, but you said the
(04:44):
storm had a great impact on you.
Can you talk about how thedevastation of Katrina made you
see things in a new way?
Robert (04:52):
Yeah, absolutely. I can't even believe this story
when I tell it, but I finishedthis trade school and I i had a
plan for my life, I thought Iknew what I was going to do and
what was going to happen. But wemoved back home to Mississippi
to my grandma's house. AndKatrina hit. And luckily, my
immediate family was safe. Butmy grandma's house did flood.
(05:14):
And I lost everything that Ihad. And so I go from college,
and life changed again, andbegin to turn directions. And so
when Katrina hit, I was livingin South Mississippi. And so
many people, like you mentioned,lost everything. And so we go
from, you know, living, I guessa normal life to now having to
(05:36):
do it all over again. And so wehad to just survive, like,
that's the best way that I canexplain it, it went from being
normal to survival mode. And sowithout power, your life
completely changes. We didn'thave sewer for months because of
(05:56):
the devastation and the damage.
And so imagine no power, nosewer, and your, your life just
turns upside down in a moment.
And so you have food for awhile, but who has food for
months. And so especially whenthings are destroyed, and you're
learning to rebuild, you'retrying to figure out what to do
(06:17):
and, and it's not like, it'sjust you, it was everyone, like
the entire cities weredestroyed, the entire coast was
destroyed. I mean, it's so manypeople that you don't really
have anybody to lean on, butyour immediate family and people
that you're close to, I mean, Iremember other people's houses
(06:38):
being in our yard, cars thatfloated down the road. I mean,
it's shocking to even talk aboutthe devastation, and to get a
true picture of it. And so youreally do turn into survival
mode. And what that means ispeople begin to protect
themselves, they think aboutwhat do I need to do? How do I
protect my family? I mean, itwas like a war zone, really, I
(07:01):
mean, people are stealing fromhouses to survive. After weeks
of you know, you start runningout of food, the military comes
in, and the government comes into help but it is very, it's
very harsh, you know, it'ssupportive, very harsh, and you
only get a certain amount ofwater, you only get a certain
amount of your MRE, your mealsthat taste horrible, but it's
(07:24):
better than nothing.
Michelle Heaton (07:25):
Yeah, as you're describing that environment is
so hard to even imagine neverhaving experienced anything like
that personally. And you know,we're so accustomed to having
everything we need within arm'sreach, or just down the road at
the market. But you had norunning water, no electricity,
no sewer, no clothing, all thatwas lost. And you had to rely on
(07:48):
the government agencies for yourdrinking water and food, while
at the same time having to haveyour guard up against people
that might try and steal fromyou. I mean, that's certainly
traumatizing. So the nextchapter in your life comes when
you landed a really good job ata Mercedes Benz dealership, and
you said they paid you verywell. So at this point in your
(08:10):
life, you're not struggling,you're making a great deal of
money. And you've spent some ofit now on a new toy, a
motorcycle. Tell us about thattime in your life, how you were
living then. And then the eventthat happened next?
Robert (08:25):
Yep, so after helping my family for months rebuild and
friends, I got a job inJacksonville, Florida working
for Mercedes Benz and so I gofrom having handing out water
having nothing to having a joband an apartment and more money
than I even imagined. And so,going from nothing to a lot,
(08:46):
takes a very disciplined personto not just spend a lot of
money. And I wasn't quitedisciplined, like I needed to be
as a young you know, 20 year oldand so, started buying things.
One of those was a motorcycleand begin to you know, ride a
motorcycle. I didn't tell myparents, I had a motorcycle at
(09:06):
the time. And so just begin toride this motorcycle because I
had just extra I mean, I go fromhaving nothing poverty level to
just having an abundance. But asyou can imagine going from
nothing to having a lot. It ishard. Like it's hard to have
(09:27):
that discipline. And so yeah, Ihad a I had a motorcycle. It was
driving around. Andunfortunately, being a young
guy, even though I took classes,ended up getting into a
motorcycle accident and had tolearn to walk again. You know,
there was gravel on the road,nothing that I did really, that
caused the accident, but hitthat gravel. My motorcycle just
(09:49):
went flying out from under me.
Michelle Heaton (09:50):
And you didn't tell your parents you were
getting a bike because you knewthey'd be worried about your
safety. And then you had thisterrible accident. You severely
damaged Your knee to the pointwhere you would need months of
physical therapy to even walkagain. And you called on your
mom and dad because you knewthey come through for you. And
they did. But what happenedafter you were healed and back
(10:12):
on your feet?
Robert (10:14):
After I recovered, and again, I'm just so thankful I
had my family there to help merecover take me to physical
therapy. But after I recoveredand learn to walk again, through
that season, I thought I wasinvincible. I didn't think that
nothing else could hurt me now,I had been through Hurricane
Katrina learned to walk again. Imean, I thought I had it figured
out I really did. And so I movedto Destin, Florida for a higher
(10:38):
paying position at Mercedes andwhich is brought more money and
more opportunities. And, youknow, when you when you have
money, it's easier to bepopular. And so I had a lot of
friends had a lot of stuff. AndDestin had a big motorcycle
community, big racing community.
And so I would hang out withpeople. And that's all we would
do was go riding around and Igot friends quickly, or what I
(11:00):
thought, whereas my friends, andyou know, at at a perceived
level of popularity, and so likeI mentioned, I thought I was
invincible. And I was I was at aconcert on the beach, and
Destin, Florida, and I waswearing shorts, flip flops, and
a T shirt riding a motorcycle,had a helmet on. So a little bit
(11:22):
of wisdom. And I was drivinghome at night and ended up
getting into an accident with myfriend actually, who was driving
a motorcycle, it was at nightand we didn't see each other and
ended up crashing into eachother. And it was almost like,
here we go again. I mean, I hadso much Road Rash, and just
bandaged up and me and him bothgot into the accident. And we
(11:45):
were roommates. And so both ofus are now stuck can't help each
other. We needed help needed ourfriends help. And that was such
an eye opening season for mebecause I remember coming out of
the hospital, and the next daytexting friends and calling
people and saying hey, I justgot into accident last night.
(12:05):
And you know, I need help. Andall these food services that
deliver to you didn't exist atthe time. So I'm like, I need
food. Like I need support. Andand no one came. It was so eye
opening like people would textme back. I'm so sorry to hear
that. I hope you get better orlet me know when you get better.
Wow. And it was such a shockingtime in my life where it's like,
(12:29):
Wait a second. This isn'tsupposed to be like this. I
remember my first accident myparents came to help. Yeah. And
so I had support. Then I sawwhat happened in Katrina, where
devastation happened. But yetpeople did come together as much
as they could. And I had familythere then and but now, you
know, my family was kind oflike, alright, this is your
(12:50):
second accident, you're gonnahave to figure out something on
your own things. You're gonnahave to learn the hard way. But
they're still there for me, youknow, as they could. But when I
started to depend on otherpeople, they weren't there.
Yeah, like, I shouldn't bealone. And my roommate can't
help me. He's in the sameproblems later. I could, I heard
(13:10):
he was in as much pain as me.
Yeah. And so again, I foundmyself in a similar situation.
But different this time, like Ireally felt alone. Like, I
really felt like wait, like, Ihave no one to turn to. I don't
(13:30):
know where to go this time. Youknow, just very an isolated
feeling. And so I go from beingpopular with all these people
and all these people knowing me.
But yet now completely alone.
Michelle Heaton (13:45):
That must have been a real wake up call for
you, when all the people youthought were your friends didn't
come through for you. And yourparents are trying to practice a
little tough love and let youfigure things out on your own.
Where did that leave you? Whatdo you do next?
Robert (13:59):
That was the moment where I just remember laying on
the couch in so much pain. Ididn't want to move. I was in so
much pain. I mean, the painmedicine wasn't even working. I
was in that much pain because ofthe road rash. And I remember
thinking back, I grew up inchurch. And my parents took me
to church several times duringthe week. But I remember just
(14:21):
thinking, Okay, I remember myparents helping me. I remember
growing up in church, I needhelp. And so I remember opening
up my Bible in just reading forthe first time and the first
time in a long time, really,because I just thought I could
do things my way. I thought thatokay, I trusted God a long time
(14:41):
ago, and I'm good now. And Ididn't know that there was more.
I just thought that it was youtrust God and you get into
heaven and now you're good.
That's what I thought. Now Iknow much different but it was
this journey that really beganto show me like, I don't have to
be alone. So I remember gettinga ride to a local church and
showing up to this church andcrutches. And when you show up
(15:05):
to church and crutches, you'regonna get attention. And so, you
know, some people greeted me.
And I'll never forget, this guywas sitting on the front row.
And he left his family and cameand sat with me in the back. So
I wouldn't be alone. Nice. Heleft his family on the front row
to come sit with me duringservice and the back row.
Michelle Heaton (15:27):
Kind of different from your friends.
Robert (15:31):
Exactly. Like I was, I was shocked. This guy didn't
know me, but we never metbefore. We didn't even look
alike. I mean, he's completelydifferent older gentleman, you
know, different skin color. Imean, we had nothing in common.
And he sat with me. And I was soshocked. And I remember that
week, he, he, him and his familybrought me food. And cook some
(15:55):
amazing food, like home cookedfood, not even like, you know,
McDonald's or fast food, likeknows home cooked great food,
they would bring me food, he'dpicked me up to bring me where I
needed, even though he had ajob, and I was so blown away.
Like, wait a second, like, is,this is what I was missing?
Like, this is kind of how thingsshould have been because I
(16:17):
experienced it a little bit withmy family. But it's family, you
know, you kind of expect them todo it, right? They love me, they
have to help me. Exactly. And itwas just so eye opening to me
and like, Okay, what I wasmissing this entire time is I
was trying to do it by myself. Ithought I didn't need other
people or need a community. Or Ijust thought I didn't need God.
(16:41):
And it was a very eye openingmoment. For me. It was like,
Okay, there's more. And I wantwhat that more is?
Michelle Heaton (16:47):
Yeah. Well, I love the way all that came
together for you. You told meyou were raised in a family that
had great faith, you grew up inchurch. But even so many kids
that are raised in that kind ofenvironment, will still kind of
wander off the path a little inan attempt to find their own
way, their own independence. Andsometimes the choices they make
(17:10):
will have dire consequences.
Fortunately for you, those rootsof your faith were strong. And
in your darkest moment of need,you remembered and turn to God.
And that led you back to a placewhere you're being taken care
of. That's great. So with all ofthese experiences behind you,
can you share some of those biglife lessons you learned that
(17:31):
might help someone who'slistening? That might be in a
similar situation?
Robert (17:37):
Yeah. And all of those crazy stories that I've been
through one of the things that Ihad a choice, and every single
one of them was how am I goingto choose and respond to this?
Yeah. And I remember justthinking, I'm not going to let
what happened to me, affect me.
So even though I went throughvery difficult things, I made a
(18:02):
choice, I'm not going to letthis affect me. So I'm in a very
hard, difficult situation, but Iam still going to choose to have
joy. I may be in a situationwhere I don't know how I'm gonna
pay my bills. I didn't, I had noidea. There were envelopes
coming in the mail with red. Youknow, they weren't nice letters
(18:23):
anymore. They were, Hey, yougotta pay these bills, or we're
coming for you, and you havetimes in your life, that it can
really steal your peace, reallyjust take everything from you.
But what I found in that seasonwas God was with me. And
therefore his joy and peace waswith me that I didn't have to do
(18:46):
it alone, that there was actualhope. And when we have hope, and
we know that there is helpavailable to us to get us
through these difficult seasons.
Now, this is what was importantfor me, these people that helped
me they couldn't change mysituation, right. My family, I
(19:07):
still had to learn to walkagain. There were still
consequences. There was still adifficult season I had to walk
through. But there was somethingavailable to me in that season
that I didn't know or I hadn'tlearned yet. And so I would just
encourage people like, you know,God's presence is with you. And
he desires to be with you eventhough other people may not that
(19:29):
his love and joy and peace isavailable to us in spite of what
we're going through. Yeah.
Michelle Heaton (19:35):
Well, you told me that everything you had been
through really helped you torealize your need for God, and
how you wanted to go deeper inyour relationship with him. And
ultimately, you went to seminaryand you became a pastor, that's
night and day from where youwere. And I imagine your parents
are very proud of you and theman you've become. I know there
are parents out there that arestill waiting and praying for
(19:59):
their kids to turn and around.
What would you say to thoseparents based on your experience
that might help them keep thefaith?
Robert (20:07):
Yes, my parents told me all the time. We're happy where
you are. But it was difficultfor them. I've talked to them
about it personally, you know,and ask them questions. How was
it for them in that season, andit was difficult, you know,
there's no downplaying it, it Noparent wants to see their child
suffering, and going through adifficult season, but I can
(20:29):
share from my perspective, thatit was love that turned me
around. That it wasn'tdiscipline that it wasn't
rebuking or you know, I've seenpeople quote the Bible in
Scripture and rules in differentthings to try to get people to
act, right. But it was love thatturned me to God, it was the
(20:50):
love of people, it was the loveof my parents, it was receiving
something that I knew I didn'tdeserve. Like, I knew I didn't
deserve people to help me. Ihad, I had betrayed people and
left people and tried to do iton my own. But it was their
love. that drew me to God, thatdrew me to other people. And so,
(21:11):
you know, as a parent, asdifficult as it is, especially
parents and family, like we'recalled to love. As Christians we
are called to love. Jesus saysto love God and love others. And
he makes it that simple. Butit's that difficult, at the same
time, to love people in spite oftheir hurt. You know, I my mom
(21:34):
told me a story. One time shegoes, you were a very difficult
child, when you were in youraccident, because I was hurting.
And I said things that weremean, I said things out of
aggravation, I, I was mad thatthese bills are piling up and I
couldn't control it. And so myparents even remembered the
harsh things that I said that Ihave, you know, ask forgiveness
(21:56):
for. And we have a greatrelationship with my mom and dad
and my entire family. But I didsay things that I wish I
wouldn't have said out of painout of hurt. And so, you know,
for parents out there, your kidsmay say things that are hurtful,
but loving them through it andallowing them to process their
pain is what's going to reallydraw and keep that relationship
(22:17):
healthy in the future.
Michelle Heaton (22:18):
Great advice.
Well, your amazing story doesn'tend there. In fact, it just
keeps getting better. Youeventually met and married your
beautiful wife, Carmen. And wereat that same time blessed by a
new son, Daniel, can you tell usa little bit about how that part
of your life came to be?
Robert (22:40):
Yes. So now that you've got to hear, you know, my
stories and my motorcycleaccidents, the beautiful part
about my wife and son now is mywife was previously married. And
they had a son and her previoushusband passed away in a
motorcycle accident. And so youknow, I don't ride a motorcycle
(23:01):
anymore, okay, that want toknow, that my wife wouldn't let
me even if I wanted to. But thebeautiful part about that story
is me and my wife didn't evenknow each other. We weren't even
in the same areas when thesethings happen. But she walked
with him through a verydifficult season, before he
passed away. And so in a verywild way, God has, you know,
(23:23):
redeemed her life with herhusband passing away, and she
understands what I've beenthrough with my motorcycle
accident and having to recover.
And by the grace of God, Isurvived nothing that I could
have done, really, to survivethose accidents. And so I'm very
grateful for my life. And I usemy life to encourage other
people. And so God has allowedme to be in their life to be a
(23:46):
dad, to a to a kid who didn'thave a dad, whose dad passed
away, and we have a greatrelationship has she's been able
to have a husband, to be thereto help her to raise him. And so
we truly believe, you know thatJesus has paid the price for us,
and that our life is redeemed.
And we've all been given asecond chance to have a family
(24:09):
together. And so we're superthankful. But it's crazy. Yeah,
God brings things together evenamongst our pain and brokenness.
And so, if you were to interviewher, she would have told you she
would have never dreamed thatshe would even have been
remarried, that she could havenever imagined what life would
be like outside of you knowwhat, what had happened.
Michelle Heaton (24:30):
That truly is a beautiful story of redemption
for all three of you. I love it.
Robert, I know there's listenersout there that would love to
learn more about your ministryand get a copy of your book. Can
you tell us where to find that?
Robert (24:45):
Yeah. And so I've been thankful and been blessed to
share a lot of my testimonies. Alot of what I shared today was
out of my first book, passed apurpose and ended up writing a
second book just about yourjourney that you're on now in
And then recently, within thelast few months wrote a new book
called Hidden fruit, about thefruit of the Holy Spirit, like
(25:07):
how to actually have joy in adifficult season, that God is
with you to actually how to havepeace, even though your life
doesn't seem to have any peace.
And so that new book, you canget that at a hidden fruit
book.com On the website, it'salso available on Amazon, Barnes
and Noble, Google all the majorbook distribution websites. And
same thing for the other twobooks. You can get those on
Amazon also.
Michelle Heaton (25:26):
Okay, I'll put links in the show notes for
those and I can't wait to readHidden Fruit. Any final thoughts
you want to pass along before weclose?
Robert (25:43):
Yeah, I just hope that people are encouraged. I really
hope that they would hear youknow what I've been through in
my story, and that they wouldleave hopeful, knowing that even
though your situation may not behopeful, even though you may not
see a way out that it'spossible.
Michelle Heaton (25:59):
Wonderful.
Thank you so much, Robert, foryour ministry, your books, and
especially for agreeing to talkwith me on the podcast today.
Robert (26:07):
You're welcome is a pleasure.
Michelle Heaton (26:10):
So for those of you listening, I hope you heard
the message of faith andperseverance in Robert's story.
His parents had to watch himsuffer the consequences of the
decisions he was making. And itwas a difficult time in their
lives, but they kept the faith.
Proverbs chapter 22, verse sixtells us to train up a child in
(26:30):
the way he should go. And whenhe is old, he will not depart
from it. I love those words.
They have deep meaning for me asa mom. As parents, we plant
those seeds and we pray theywill sprout and grow. At times,
it can be hard, but don't losehope. It is my prayer that one
(26:54):
day you too will have a story totell. That will help someone
else who's struggling, likeRobert did today. Thanks for
listening.
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