Heather Murphy-Certified somatics coach, trauma informed breathwork facilitator and expressive arts.
February 17, 2025 • 51 mins
Heather Murphy is a certified somatics coach, trauma informed breathwork facilitator and current expressive arts therapist in training. She wants you to know that whatever is desired by you is destined by you. You have the power to create and manifest the life of your dreams. And through somatics, energetics and expressive arts she will show you how to align with your soul and live your dreams.
Before my spiritual awakening my life was a mess. In 2006 when the secret came out I had been evicted from the house because I was addicted to the life of chaos. My journey was long and slow. But looking back, I had to go through all these challenges with depression and anxiety, poverty and struggle to be the leader I am today. I am telling you, if you want a different life, you can have it.
Contact Heather:
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Everything must start with feeling safe in the body. Practicing somatic awareness can establish a sense of safety not only with our desires but with taking action on them.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi, Heather, Welcome to the Quantum Alchemist Master
Podcast.
It's a pleasure to have you.
I'm actually very excited tolearn a little bit more about
your journey, especially becauseit includes a lot of the stuff
that I love and that I've beenthrough myself, including
somatics, art and a bunch ofother surprises that you have to
(00:23):
share with us.
Please take the floor and tellus a little bit about yourself
and your journey and how you gotto where you are today.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Thank you for having me, rosalia.
I'm so honored to be here and,yeah, sometimes when you start I
just don't know where to startwith my story.
But I'll just say I reallystruggled with my mental health
since I was nine years oldactually.
Yeah, it was something where Inever really knew what was wrong
(00:55):
with me, but it just seemedlike I needed to be fixed.
And I think this is somethingfor people who struggle with
mental health.
They might find themselvessaying as well.
For people who struggle withmental health, they might find
themselves saying as well.
I just want to say right nowyou don't need to be fixed,
there's nothing wrong with you.
We just have to learn how tointegrate with these aspects of
our mental health and there ishealing for you out there.
(01:19):
So my life was always kind offeeling like it was in chaos.
My 20s were very chaotic for me, really struggled with
self-harm, suicidal ideation,you know, struggled with keeping
a job because of my mentalhealth.
I struggled with money.
I struggled with everything andyou know it's funny.
(01:43):
At some point I learned aboutmanifestation and I thought this
would be like the answer.
But it took me a long time toreally like understand what
creating our own reality reallyis, and it goes so much more
than like a lot of the popmanifestation tips that you get.
It's a deep journey ofself-healing that allows us to
(02:05):
really begin to have theconfidence to get out there and
create what we want.
So I just want to say to thelistener that you have the power
within yourself to transformand to create the life that you
want, and I know that might feelhard but, believe me, I have
(02:27):
been in some of the darkestplaces mentally, emotionally and
physically as well.
Definitely been in like reallybad situations, especially
because of my lack of job attimes, like didn't pay my rent,
got evicted, lived in my car fora couple of weeks, like
situations like that.
So just for anybody out therethat's like I don't know how to
(02:50):
like start this work or whatever.
Like you know it's possible foryou, so yeah, how did you start
?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
kind of your own inner work, because we hear a
lot of the time.
Kind of your own inner workbecause we hear, we hear a lot
of the time, and and and we'llexpand more depending on what
you say, because you know, doingthe work, um, in my personal
opinion, is not cookie cutter isnot copy and paste is not.
And the way you manifest is notcopy and paste either.
(03:21):
In my opinion, it's verypersonalized um and unique as we
are.
Um, because what's going towork for me, it's probably not
going to work for you.
Uh, or some things may, and youmay take what serves you and
move on.
So, in particularly in in yourcase, how or at what age first
(03:43):
did you say, okay, hang on, youknow, maybe there's something I
can do about it.
And how did that shift start?
Like what were the first coupleof steps that you took to make
that change, or that?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
shift.
Yeah, you know it's funnybecause I'm surprised by what
actually popped into my mind.
Yeah, you know it's funnybecause I'm surprised by what
actually popped into my mind,but especially being somebody
that struggled with depressionand still does at times, it was
actually just yoga and movementthat around when I was like 16,
(04:18):
I got a yoga DVD or somethinglike that and I think that was
like the first time I wasexposed to that sort of thing.
I definitely kind of grew uplike.
I grew up in the Northwest andSeattle.
It's very depressing up there,it's hard to live with no son
and I grew up with two parentswho were just your kind of
(04:43):
typical 90s parents.
I was a latchkey kid and Ithink they did the best that
they could, but they were notvery involved or anything or
very aware that I was strugglingwith any sort of mental health
stuff and they were not verycultured.
I would say so it was not likeI really knew what yoga was.
(05:06):
Even I think I just started tohear about it or something
around age 16.
And I was like, oh, I'm goingto get a yoga DVD.
So I think I just wasintroduced to meditation at that
time, like through the yogavideo and I started doing it
every day and I started to feelbetter.
I started to feel a little bithappier doing it every day and I
started to feel better.
(05:27):
I started to feel a little bithappier.
Um, I think we know now verywell that just exercise in
general is really helpful fordepression.
Um, but there was still stuff.
You know there was trauma there.
Um and I won't get too muchinto trauma just because I don't
want to, like, activate theaudience, but it's around sexual
abuse and stuff like that, andso we don't need to go into too
(05:47):
much detail.
But you can imagine that kindof stuff really stays in the
body.
So, you know, throughout thistime period, let's say, age 16
to throughout my twenties, Ijust still couldn't figure out
what was wrong with me.
I would just have these momentswhere I was really easily
(06:08):
triggered or, um, I wouldstruggle in relationships to
like have, you know, a boyfriendthat I had.
It was just like when I in mytwenties, it was just really
hard Cause I was just always sotriggered by him because of who
he reminded me of and, like youknow, it was just like all of my
wounding was coming out in thatrelationship, which seems to be
(06:31):
like a common theme, I'venoticed, is like sometimes being
in relationship can really justbe the mirror that we need to
see what our wounds are.
But yeah, I feel like that'swhere that journey started.
And, you know, I feel like myjourney has just been like this
way and then that way, you know,like I'd fall off of doing the
DVD, but then, like five yearslater, I went to a Buddhist
(06:54):
temple for the first time in my20s and I started doing that for
a while and then, you know, youjust have seasons of life and I
think my journey has been veryslow, um, and I wouldn't say
until I was exposed to moresomatics, uh somatic practices,
(07:15):
that I actually started to feellike things were changing for me
.
Um, I did talk therapy foryears.
I I've done just all the thingslike the self-help books, like
everything trying to readaffirmations, which are not bad
I still like to do affirmationsbut for me it really has been
(07:37):
like having a daily breathworkor movement, visceral
intelligence practice that hasmade me feel so much more
embodied and grounded andintegrated with all of that
stuff that I've been living with, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Wow, there's a lot to unpack there, if I may.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah, sorry.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah, okay, cool, thank you for that, thank you
for being vulnerable.
I know, tried so many differentavenues Because Something that
(08:30):
is very Sad To me.
I understand it's all perfect,unfolding and the way evolution
should, the way each soul choseit, and so forth.
So it's a little more complexthan that, but it's still very
sad to me that, regardless ofwhatever avenues we choose to
(09:09):
try to establish that connectionback to self or back to the
divine within ourselves, it'sheavily criticized by others.
To me, I feel almost like,let's just say, humanity is
caged in in this matrix ofthought of limiting beliefs, of
conditioning right, and as longas that scale is tipping in the
way of like fear, limitation,lack, separation is tipping in
the way of like fear, limitation, lack, separation we're not
(09:30):
going to see a difference in thecollective actual reality from
where I see it, in my opinion.
Just hypothetically, thinkingof that study that was done with
the monkeys inside a cage andthen they don't let the younger
monkeys that are not used to it,they pull them down every time
they're going to exit the cageautomatically.
They don't let them come out ofthe cage.
(09:50):
So and I understand this, outof love, you know, I, I don't,
and that that a lot of peopleare doing certain things or live
in fear because they feared,like you know, the unknown or no
, I've never done it that way.
That's not the way you do it.
You know that kind of or thisis the only way.
(10:13):
This is the only truth.
So in that I I that in itself,I find it very limiting because
it's not allowing us to expandto our full capacity.
Limiting because it's notallowing us to expand to our
full capacity.
Just like a baby, you know.
It's like oh no, don't even tryto walk, that's just not going
(10:35):
to work.
Yeah Well, baby's going to, youknow it's beautiful, it's
hurtful, I mean it's, you know.
I see the baby fall trying, youknow, trying to get up, and but
you know, within as long asyou're not harming yourself or
not harming another human being,I feel it's okay to explore,
it's okay to try differentavenues.
It's, you know, as long asyou're not spiraling down into
any heavy stuff, you know it's,it's all right, you're not
(10:56):
harming anybody else, you're notharming yourself, and you're
learning, and it feels safe andit feels nurturing and you're
learning something new, right,and it feels safe and it feels
nurturing and you're learningsomething new, right?
So thank you for sharing that.
(11:17):
There are more than one way ofdoing these things.
Negative talk around yoga,around breathwork, around plant
medicine, around guides, justaround this whole spiritual
realm and around the awakeningprocess, on how it's all bad and
(11:40):
satanic and just the polaropposite, which is okay, it's
beautiful.
If you have, that's fine.
Potato, potato.
We're all entitled to our ownopinion, that's fine.
But I can't help but to inviteeveryone to question everything.
Right, that's all I'm saying.
Question it.
Why would you just take it forgranted, right?
(12:02):
Question it.
Question absolutely everythingin your life your thoughts, the
way you do things, your behavior, society, religion, all of it.
Okay.
And after you question it, ifyou come back 360, right where
you were before awesome, that'sreally good.
You know that means everythingwas in alignment, that's really
(12:24):
good, you know, that meanseverything was in alignment.
But from my personal experience,I and I can't help but to look
back and look at all thedifferent avenues and how.
Of course I'm never going to be100% with every single one,
because maybe I wasn't raised inthat religion or I don't come
(12:45):
from that lineage or thatpractice.
Well, in my and I honor themand I respect them and I have
nothing, but you know, just justa lot of grace that they came
in my life at the time that theydid because they pull me out of
out of a darkness, out of ahole, right, whether it was
(13:05):
meditation, yoga, akashicrecords, whatever it was for me.
So I see a lot of that with alot of respect and I respect
everybody else's way and journeyof getting there and of
communicating with the divinelove and divine connection
within ourselves.
(13:27):
And that has evolved so much.
Like daily it evolves.
It's different.
I am different.
My connection to God isdifferent.
The way we communicate andexchange energy and information
is different.
It's like a dance right andlittle by little you become a
(13:48):
better dance partner.
You learn new moves and newright.
So how has that been the samefor you?
Do you feel kind of like yourrelationship with whatever you
believe in?
Because I don't even know whereyou stand with this at this
point.
How has that shifted?
(14:11):
Like were you an atheist at thebeginning and and then now I
don't know whatever.
You know, how has that kind ofshifted for you?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Yeah, I'm excited that you asked me this question
and I love that you talked aboutthe dance, because I love dance
and somatics.
I love the idea of, like wedance with the universe, god,
source, whatever you want tocall it, and I just love that
idea that it's like a tango orsomething.
It's something like kind ofalmost even sensual in that way,
(14:43):
where I'm not sexual but just Imean sensual, like that.
You just that you get to likemove in this like smooth and
easy way.
But to answer your question, soyeah, my journey of
spirituality has beeninteresting in itself and I
talked about my mental healthjourney, but with that, really
there is like a pairing of myspiritual journey.
(15:07):
Um, so, when I was young,probably around similar age of
nine I was always really drawnto witchy things.
Um, you know it was thenineties, it was in vogue, like.
I remember all these shows andthings like that.
Um, and I just loved the ideaof being able to like have that
(15:34):
kind of power and magic in mylife, you know, not in like a
bad way, but just like being agood witch or something.
And and it looks different nowwhen people talk about these
things, or it's spoken aboutdifferently now, I think, um,
and so anyway, I had an aunt whoreally shut me down and scared
(15:56):
the bejesus out of me, like in areal way, with like telling me
that the devil was in my house.
And all this so literally, likeas a little kid, I thought that
the devil was in my house andbecame really, really frightened
by all of anything in thatspiritual realm.
And then and my parents, by theway, are agnostic basically we
(16:22):
just didn't, we didn't talkabout God ever.
And it's interesting justthinking about like my family.
My dad grew up in like a veryCatholic household, which is the
aunt that I was talking to ishis sister.
So I think it was just likereally strong there and I sense
and him and I have never talkedabout this to this day, but I
(16:44):
sense that like maybe he hadsomething happen, cause he just
doesn't talk about like I thinkhe believes in God, but I just
he just doesn't talk about likeany of that stuff.
And my mom was always just likeyou can believe whatever you
want to believe, like you canyou know whatever religion you
are, yeah, she was really open.
So I didn't grow up in arepressive household, but I
(17:08):
think that what my aunt didtraumatized me.
So I just kind of was like shutdown.
Um, it was like I was even justlike scared to go to church,
like cause I had friends andother family members that would
go and they'd be like, do youwant to go?
And I'd be like, uh, like I wasscared, um, like I felt like I
lost trust in God, basicallybecause I thought like, how can
(17:30):
this be?
You know, like this, um, thatthere's sort of this like evil
and there's this good, and thenthey're just like it's like a
battle, um, and so, yeah, Ithink that again, just like, as
I was introduced to meditation,I was more open to the
(17:50):
possibilities and when I was inmy early 20s, I started eating
at this Hare Krishna cafe andthere was this woman and this
man that ran the cafe and Istarted going to temple with
them and that was like a littlechapter of my life where it was
(18:10):
like it felt good to go totemple and like and they did
dancing and it's just differentat a Hare Krishna temple and you
know, it was just fun to beexposed to a different culture
too, and, um, they just it feltlike a loving family and
eventually they moved.
So, like that chapter of my lifewent and I really thought I
would be like a devout HareKrishna or, you know, thought I
(18:36):
would be like a devout HareKrishna or you know Hare Krishna
devotee for the rest of my life.
But, you know, I evolved andchanged and it was interesting
because actually not long afterthat because I was still in my
mental health struggle I likethat was soon after that I was
evicted from my home.
I was like on the street for acouple of weeks until I could
move into another housingsituation and it wasn't long
(18:57):
after that that I was just likeI'm done, like I don't believe
in God, like he's just not therefor me.
So I just don't feel it.
I just didn't feel it.
I had cut myself off frommyself.
Basically is the way I see itUm just started getting involved
in like using more drugs anddrinking every day and stuff,
and that went on until my late20s.
(19:21):
And that's actually when, um, II don't know why I picked it up,
but like I had already beenintroduced to like the secret
manifestation and I was likesecretively like reading
affirmations and I wassecretively making vision boards
, but I didn't want anyone toknow so, but I was still like
I'm an atheist.
I'm an atheist like for yearsof my life, um, and I feel like
(19:47):
it's only been in the last fiveyears, actually, that I'm like
out spiritually, because I thinkthere was like this whole other
side of um.
Some, interestingly enough andI didn't mention this earlier
but some of my family membersare also also atheists, so I was
like on team atheist and thenwhen I was like I'm not
(20:08):
Christian and I'm not atheist,everyone hates me and and I
think it's just funny because itall comes down to like we need
to explore and be our mostauthentic selves, and for me, I
haven't really fallen into anybox.
I'm just trying to connect withthat greater consciousness all
(20:30):
the time do you mind if Iinterrupt you there?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, thank you.
So, from where I stand, if as acollective, we could find and
respect the beauty of ourdifferences and our own
personalized journey.
Well, I have to look at thespiritual meaning.
(20:57):
What was that?
A fly.
That's got to be a message.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I think that's a confirmation.
We have a yes.
Yes, we have a yes, it's a flyin the room.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Thank you, universe.
So you know, if we could.
Just, I've been through so manyreligions looking for God
outside myself and that didn'treally shift until my near-death
experience.
My perception of God and myperception is my perception, and
(21:38):
even that is changing, right.
You don't have to agree withthat perception.
Nobody does.
It's a personal relationship.
It's very unique to each one ofus.
So of course, you're not goingto fall into any box.
You're not going to fall intoany and that's okay.
You could follow the crowd's,fine, you could belong to a
religion.
That's beautiful.
(21:58):
Be there as long as you'rehappy there.
Be there as long as you feelwelcome.
Be there as long as you agreewith what's being shared.
And when it's no longer the case, I hope that you can find
courage within yourself to moveon, to listen to your heart, to
wherever you do feel safe,wherever you do feel love and
(22:22):
I've come down to, because Iwork with so many people from so
many different backgrounds andthat's the people I call in, I
attract to work with, because Idon't see any difference and by
doing the sessions with them,and sometimes their higher self
(22:44):
will come in or their guideswill come in, and of course it
varies depending on what theirbelief system is, and I find
that so beautiful.
So what I would like to inviteeveryone listening is just to to
be like a child, to open up.
Nobody's enforcing any beliefsupon you.
You don't have to be spiritual,you don't have to be atheists,
(23:07):
you don't have to believe in God.
But if we could focus, as acollective, in values and
virtues, if we could focus as acollective in values and virtues
, right?
So a lot of the religions have alot of things in common.
They go by the golden rule,right, kind of like do unto
others as you want others to dounto you.
(23:27):
Respect and love one another.
Help the sick, be kind, don'tkill.
Help the sick, be kind, don'tkill.
Just like little standardthings that are, I don't know, I
(23:47):
guess, what you would callsomeone with integrity or with a
good, open heart.
And if we could just all focuson doing that within ourselves,
we would just have a betterworld period and we would, in my
opinion, come back to onenessand when I mean oneness, I don't
mean I don't want you to belike me in regards to more
(24:13):
kindness, to more love, to morepeace, to dialogue, to
respecting, to biodiversity, torespecting every light form,
respecting Mother Earth,co-creating with Source, just
(24:37):
opening up our consciousness tosomething different to love.
Coming back to love, back toour essence.
You know we have theseimaginary things.
Let's just say, this warbetween good and evil, right
that is exist in every religionis portrayed in many different
ways.
Um, and a lot of times is alsothat light and darkness within
(24:58):
ourselves.
Ah, there it is again.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I know so funny.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
That light and darkness within ourselves, right
that we have to kind of balancethose polar opposites.
So, with that being said, youknow that flight just took me
off my track, right.
The idea I had.
What I'm saying is, if we canlook at our similarities rather
(25:26):
than our differences, a lot ofus could get our beliefs or our
limitations, even because thatcould crush someone's dream,
(25:52):
someone's life, someone's maybethey want to go for a business
or an idea and just your ownlimitations, because you have
not been able to follow your own, you bring them down or you're
being negative on that person.
Let's encourage the person,let's be there, let's be
supportive, just kind ofshifting that mindset
(26:14):
individually and then to be ableto rip it all as a collective
right.
Hopefully our kids will be ableto watch that we've changed our
partner and hopefully that willbe like like maybe I should
kind of look into looking withinor be more kind or whatever, or
going to church.
Whatever works for everybody.
It's beautiful.
(26:34):
So just kind of more in regardsto that.
But after this whole spiel, Iwanted to move into somatics and
art specifically because that'sbeen two big parts for me.
Number one tell me a little bitmore about what are some of the
somatics that you usespecifically to dance?
(26:57):
Are there any particular danceor movement, or is it free flow,
et cetera?
What do you like to do or whatyou have explored, and then it
would be into art.
Same thing.
Actually, you're majoring rightand in regards to something, in
regards to art yeah, yes, so ifyou can tell us a little bit
(27:18):
more about kind of like the somaand the art, avenues and roads
and what you've tried, what hasworked and and then from there
you kind of can tell us how youactually merge these and work
with people and what is it thatyou do and you share.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Yeah, okay, I'm ready .
I have been so excited since Ilearned about somatics.
Like I said, there's that flyagain Since I learned about som
um, because I just want to shareit with the world.
It always is just um comes downto three things.
So somatics can consist ofsound, movement or breath Um,
(27:57):
and we talked about this on mypodcast a little bit.
But you know, sound can be likehumming right, humming
activates that vagus nerve.
It's put you in theparasympathetic state, so we can
be more um, more in that restand relax state.
And so I said sound and thenobviously breath work.
There's different breath workpatterns that you can do to
(28:21):
either activate or to relax.
And then with movement, a lot ofmy movement is focused on using
visceral intelligence to helpmove stagnant energy out of the
body.
So in a session, let's say,we'll work a lot with a body
scan first and then we kind ofdo this exploration.
(28:42):
That's sort of like parts work,and if people don't know what
parts work is, it's from theit's called internal family
systems.
You can look it up.
But it's really this idea thatwe have many, many parts of
ourselves and we actually canhold this somatically in our
body.
So you might be like, oh mygosh, like my, the five-year-old
(29:04):
in me that always wanted to bean artist lives right in my
heart and she feels soheartbroken and I can see her
and I can see that she's wearinga red dress and whatever,
whatever.
You can start to have a lot ofvisual stimulation as we do this
visceral intelligence exerciseand I'll invite people into some
(29:25):
like intuitive movement to likekind of let more be released.
It's kind of like um, what arethose called?
When you like, uh, those thingsyou crack on the side of the
road that they have a littlefire, the um having a total
brain fart.
But you know, when you likecrack it, it goes on fire.
The flares, the flares, theflares, it's like it kind of
(29:46):
like opens this thing up andfrom there we can do somatic
practices to help support thebody.
So if somebody needs to do somehumming or some breathing or
some sort of intuitive movementto help themselves feel, because
the more we feel it, the morewe heal it, the easier it is to
(30:09):
be present with the emotionalpain that lives inside of us,
the more it sort of dissipatesand the more we can integrate
with it.
And I've been really liking thisidea of integration, by the way
, because I think I want tocircle back to something I said
earlier, which is like I alwaysfelt like I needed to be fixed,
like I need to be healed, I needto be fixed, and I was always
(30:31):
searching, and I just reallywant to invite people into this
idea of integration, because wehave all these parts of
ourselves, these aspects, and wecan't just make them go away.
They're a part of our wovenstory.
And so, with the expressivearts practice, which I didn't
say but so yeah, right now I'mgetting my master's in
counseling and it's anexpressive arts focused program,
(30:54):
and so we use things like dancetherapy, we use music therapy,
we use visual therapy, we canuse cinema therapy, which is one
of my favorite things.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
If you're somebody that I was just looking at that
today popped up on my phone.
I thought it was the coolestthing yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Oh, yes, like I think that there's so many different
ways we can use cinema to helpourselves transmute emotions, to
help us process.
I was just talking about um.
I was talking about this withmy husband cause we watched this
movie recently called it's kindof a funny story.
It's about a young boy who goesum, he gets, uh, he has a 5150
(31:39):
place on him so he has mandatoryhold in a mental health
facility and, um, I think it's agreat one for teens to watch
who are struggling with mentalhealth.
So it's just like we can usethese films to help people be
like, get a sense of hope ofgetting through a story, be like
I relate to that story.
We can do our own story,writing to tell our story and
(32:02):
maybe give ourselves a happyending.
Um, all of these things canhelp us be more fully expressed,
and so my focus in my programbecause you kind of have to
narrow it down has definitelybeen dance, and so I use a lot
of just intuitive dance,ecstatic dance, and I've done
(32:23):
pole dance.
I've done, I've been wanting tolearn belly dancing and so just
trying different dances.
Um, there's different research,even for like, as you might know
, like for Parkinson's and like.
Recently there was a studyabout how dance is beating out
SSRIs in terms of helping peoplewith depression, which is
(32:46):
incredible.
And this is dance is speedingout exercise for beating
depression.
So I dance every day, I danceevery morning.
I dance to at least one song,if not two.
If I have time, I go 30 minutes, you know.
And so, yeah, I just like Ilove dance and I love movement,
and I think, if we can take iteven further into another
(33:08):
artistic modality that feelsgood and you feel drawn to, it's
such a beautiful and spiritualexperience to be able to find
ways to express ourselves andallow ourselves to integrate and
see ourselves in the story thatwe've lived so far and that we
(33:29):
are continuing to create andlive in, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
I'm fascinated by everything you've said, maybe
because I resonate with all ofit and it's been a big part of
my journey.
But to me, the divine useswhatever brings us into that
flow state as inspiration, as amoment where we can just connect
(34:05):
and be in flow with the divineand, in my opinion, whether it
be grief, sadness or whatever itis, but you're in that, it's
just a flow state, it's just,you're just immersed, lost in it
, you're just so present.
You're present and presence atthe same time in the now moment,
(34:29):
which is one of the few timeswhere you're not worried about
the future or worried about thepast.
So I have been considering forthe past month doing Afro-Cuban
(34:54):
dancing and well, of course, nowyou mentioned this and I'm like
, yes, and if the fly comesbefore we drop the podcast, that
would be another yes for me.
Okay, I'm expecting it now.
Yeah, so yeah.
And I'm taking art classes.
(35:17):
I love painting.
I do these weird I learnedthey're called, I think, blind,
blind drawing or no, blindcontouring.
That's what I do.
I don't even know what I dobecause I just do it
automatically, so I don't knowthat it had a name or anything.
Pretty much I just grab acanvas or a paper or whatever.
(35:37):
I start on one end, it is onecontinuous line and I make
different things without liftingthe actual.
Sometimes I do it with my eyesclosed and sometimes I just
paint it with my eyes open,depending on how I feel inspired
to do it, and I make therandomest, weirdest stuff and I
(35:59):
love it.
I feel there are no thoughts,no worries, I am in flow, I'm in
purely therapeutic, I am justlike in awe, like shh, my brain
is just like in heaven.
So I just started art class andI was like I just started
(36:22):
reading the artist way as well.
Oh yeah, yay, um, so I don'tknow.
I just just now.
I have never before doneanything artistic, ever, ever.
So just now I'm allowing myself, I feel, to be more in balance
(36:43):
with my feminine Cause I wasoperating in my masculine for so
long and it has helped me so,so much in every way, and I feel
that therapy that we have nowcould include or start including
so much more somatics andtherapy and aroma therapy and
(37:08):
all of these different modes,kind of like a 360 approach
rather than a cookie cutterapproach.
Here's your SSRI.
Here's your first line oftreatment.
Good luck with that.
I hope you don't commit suicide.
Don't quit abruptly, right?
Yeah, so I feel like, especiallyif we've been through it, we
(37:40):
want to be the example, to offersomething different to other
people.
It's like we probably use ourchallenges and whatever we went
through to create what we wishwe had when we were going
through it, or at least that'show I see it.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
I completely agree with that.
I think that I would havebenefited so much from art
therapy and somatics.
I think I spent so long justtalking and people don't,
especially when there's traumainvolved.
Like, people don't talk abouttrauma, they don't just say,
well, this terrible thinghappened, you know, by so-and-so
(38:11):
, when I was nine years old orwhatever, and um, and that's
like people don't process thatway.
Um, a lot of those things aresuppressed and and there's
different like types of talktherapy, of course, that like
depth psychology and stuff thatcan help people verbally process
.
But I just feel like, for me atleast, I've just fallen in love
(38:34):
with nonverbal processing.
So, yeah, I think it's reallylike having, like creating a
space where people can be guided.
I feel like I don't have theanswers.
I just want to create a spacewhere you can discover them
within yourself.
You know it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
I love that.
I love.
I share very much the idea ofguiding people within for
answers.
Yeah, that's what I'm all about.
Yeah, we're there for support,we're there to guide you, we're
there to share our tools, butultimately, you know, it's
really there's a lot ofresponsibility that relies on
(39:21):
them.
If they really want to change,they have to be able willing,
open, right.
So if you tell want to change,they have to be able willing,
open, right.
So if you tell me to moo like acow and you know it works, as
weird and quick as it sounds.
You know, if I'm not willingand open I'll be like uh f you,
I'm done.
This session doesn't work forme.
(39:42):
This is BS, you know, yeah,yeah.
So you have to be, you know, beable to willing and open to to
try new things and um,especially from somebody who's
actually tested them and beenbeen through it um themselves.
So what does working with youlook like?
Like, um, what are some of thestuff?
(40:04):
Is this some of the same stuffyou bring into a session?
How long is the session?
Is it a couple of sessions?
Do you do like an interviewfirst to kind of determine what
the person needs Like?
How does that look like?
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Yeah, thanks for asking that.
Um, you know, honestly, a lotof people will just do one-offs.
Um, you know, I get people thatwill sign up for eight weeks or
something, especially whenthey're really going through
something hard like a divorce ora job transition or something
like that.
Usually people will want towork with me a little bit longer
(40:38):
around that.
But I love that one session canbe so powerful for people
Excuse me.
I love that, like, one sessioncan be so powerful for people,
excuse me.
And so, yeah, I just will sendthem a little bit of a
questionnaire.
We won't really do aconsultation per se, just kind
of emailing if they want to tellme what's going on, because,
(41:03):
again, that's more cognitive andlike verbal processing, and so
in a session it's prettytypically the same.
Unless I can tell that theperson has just shown up and
they're really dysregulated,then we need to like do some
immediate like regulation.
So sometimes that happens.
But so, whatever tool we mightuse, I will explore that with
(41:25):
them, like what would feel good.
So it might be some breath work, it might be some sound, it
might be some movement, um, butif they're, they come in, which
most, most people do.
They come in and they want totalk, or so I give them.
I give them 15 minutes, I give10, 10, 15 minutes max to
verbalize what's going on.
Um, and then from there wecheck in with the body.
(41:46):
We I always do a body scan withpeople.
I think body scans are like themost basic, most powerful tool.
Like literally, I will spendthree minutes throughout my day
just to like check in with mybody, because it's so easy to
ignore.
Until you get home at the endof the day you notice the most
people, like when you're working40 hours a week or whatever.
(42:07):
You get home and you're justlike, wow, my shoulder hurts,
like I didn't notice it all day.
But it's not until we finallyare in that safe, calm space
that we can actually start tonotice our bodies.
So it's good to do consistentbody scans and checking in, but
so with the session we'll dothat visceral intelligence
(42:27):
exercise and we'll start toreally drop in, be the observer
of our experience and see whatstarts to come through.
A lot of people do get thosevisuals like I was talking about
, where they start to see shapesand colors and we might start
talking to it.
What is that?
What's there for you?
(42:48):
What's alive for you.
How is that feeling?
Does it feel tense, does itfeel open?
And so we just begin to explorewhat's alive for them in their
body.
Some people that don't have asmany visuals might just get you
know, cause we have like thefive senses.
So some people might starthearing something.
They might start saying likeknow, because we have like the
five senses.
So some people might starthearing something.
They might start saying like,oh, I'm getting another sort of
(43:10):
somatic thing.
They might start feeling likegoosebumps or whatever.
It's so different for everyone.
And so, with that, we're justreally exploring what's within
them.
And that's where I'm just likeI'm not the wise person that
knows all the end, all be alllike you are the, the knower,
(43:31):
the truth seeker of your, ofyour own soul and your own body.
And so, with that, that's whereI will invite them to ask those
things that they're seeing orfeeling or hearing, what they
need.
Right, it always comes backdown to like, how can we meet
our own needs?
And that doesn't mean that wedon't need people, but we do
(43:53):
need to learn how to find.
If you want love, if you wantabundance, if you want health,
it already lives inside of you.
You just have to unblock andmove the stagnant energy out of
your body that's preventing itfrom being expressed.
You know I love that.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
I hope that answers that clearly yeah, and I feel
like when, when we do thesession uh, which I have to get
back to you on that, I feel likein some ways, a a lot of us use
similar techniques in our ownway, but again very similar to
(44:33):
religion.
There's like common threads,yeah.
Right so after we do it, I'mgoing to probably be asking you
how is it similar to the stuffthat you do?
Because from what you'redescribing there's a lot of
similarities.
So it's very interesting howdifferent ways of working still
(44:53):
we come back to.
Okay, your body has thoseanswers, it knows, it has wisdom
, and I love the focus on kindof like being self-sufficient
with a guide until you get thehang of it, and then you can do
in the practices yourself and ifyou ever need me, I'm a ring
away type.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
uh I, yeah, I really believe in that, because I kind
of hate the idea of like guruaddiction or something where
it's like, yeah, we don't wantto, I don't want you to have to.
Like, depend on me, I want youto like this is a liberatory
practice, like we want toliberate you and know that you
don't have to depend on thewisdom of others to to know,
(45:38):
like it's, it's already insideof you.
Um, yeah, it's, it'sinteresting because, with what
you were saying, like, I'veworked with other guides myself
that have done similar ishthings too, but it's just, it
just hits different.
You know like you're gonna bein a container with somebody.
Everybody's energetic medicineis different.
(46:01):
You know, um and I think that'simportant like, like when, like
for the listener, when peopleare, or when you're looking for
someone, like you want to feelsafe with them, you want to feel
like they're not judging you orwhatever it is that you're
needing right.
Like you, you can just feelthat if their medicine is a good
(46:22):
match for you 100%, 100%, 100%.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
And is there any last messages you want to leave the
listeners with?
Also where they can find you.
What's the best way to reachyou?
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Yeah, just, my whole thing hasjust come down to love.
You know, it's easy for me tosay, just love yourself.
You know, cause I know that ifyou're listening right now and
you're, I'm like I'm almostabout to cry, um, cause I've
been there.
(47:00):
You know, um, if you can, justif you're having a hard time
loving yourself, can you justaccept yourself right now?
Can you just look in the mirrorand say, okay, this is, this is
who I am, this is where I'm at?
Can you just start there?
And it always comes down tojust knowing that there is so
(47:25):
much love for you out there.
And, by the way, I was trying toremember what the phone number
for the Suicide Hotline was lasttime you were on my podcast.
I just wanted to share it realquick, but it's 988.
So if anyone out there isstruggling with that, even if
you're like I'm not really likeeven if you're like level one
had the thought like, call, callthem.
(47:46):
They're so nice, I've calledthem myself.
People are there for you.
So mental health is really bigto me, obviously.
So that's kind of my.
My last thing is just likereach out for people and it's
okay If in your head.
You're just like I wish I couldtake a month off and that
people would bring me soup everyday.
Well, maybe that can bearranged, I don't know, but it's
(48:10):
okay to have those thoughts,yeah.
And then, as far as connectingwith me, I have my own podcast,
obviously.
So Leah was a guest and I'mexcited for your episode to come
out.
Um, and so that's called for thelove of self and that was like
(48:31):
channeled to me, that thatbusiness name was channeled to
me, I swear, because I wasthinking about this idea of like
.
You know how people say like,oh, for the love of god, you
know, I would just say like forthe love of self, like I needed
to, you know, I mean god's stillthere, we're, you know, but
that's self.
Like I needed to, you know, Imean God's still there, we're,
you know, but that's, we'reconnected, it's all one, you
know.
So, um, so I have the for thelove of self podcast and then my
(48:55):
, my Instagram handle and TikTOK handles are a little bit
different variations of that,cause, you know there's for the
love of love of dot self is myinstagram handle.
So, anyway, I guess we can justmake sure we put the link we'll
put it in the description.
There's no worries um, yeah, soI'd love to.
If you ever need to chat withsomebody, don't be shy, just dm
(49:19):
me, I'll send you resources.
You know you don't have to feelobligated to work with me, but
I will.
I do care about people's mentalhealth, so I'll definitely send
you resources.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
So thank you so much.
Thank you for being here.
It's an honor to have you.
I'm looking forward to usworking together.
I love your energy to feel thatyou embody the work that you do
, because you've been through itand you know right away when
(49:52):
somebody's walked the path.
So thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (49:58):
Thank you for that.
Yeah, thank you for having mehere and thank you everyone for
listening my pleasure.
Hi, Heather, Welcome to the Quantum Alchemist Master
Podcast.
It's a pleasure to have you.
I'm actually very excited tolearn a little bit more about
your journey, especially becauseit includes a lot of the stuff
that I love and that I've beenthrough myself, including
somatics, art and a bunch ofother surprises that you have to
(00:23):
share with us.
Please take the floor and tellus a little bit about yourself
and your journey and how you gotto where you are today.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Thank you for having me, rosalia.
I'm so honored to be here and,yeah, sometimes when you start I
just don't know where to startwith my story.
But I'll just say I reallystruggled with my mental health
since I was nine years oldactually.
Yeah, it was something where Inever really knew what was wrong
(00:55):
with me, but it just seemedlike I needed to be fixed.
And I think this is somethingfor people who struggle with
mental health.
They might find themselvessaying as well.
For people who struggle withmental health, they might find
themselves saying as well.
I just want to say right nowyou don't need to be fixed,
there's nothing wrong with you.
We just have to learn how tointegrate with these aspects of
our mental health and there ishealing for you out there.
(01:19):
So my life was always kind offeeling like it was in chaos.
My 20s were very chaotic for me, really struggled with
self-harm, suicidal ideation,you know, struggled with keeping
a job because of my mentalhealth.
I struggled with money.
I struggled with everything andyou know it's funny.
(01:43):
At some point I learned aboutmanifestation and I thought this
would be like the answer.
But it took me a long time toreally like understand what
creating our own reality reallyis, and it goes so much more
than like a lot of the popmanifestation tips that you get.
It's a deep journey ofself-healing that allows us to
(02:05):
really begin to have theconfidence to get out there and
create what we want.
So I just want to say to thelistener that you have the power
within yourself to transformand to create the life that you
want, and I know that might feelhard but, believe me, I have
(02:27):
been in some of the darkestplaces mentally, emotionally and
physically as well.
Definitely been in like reallybad situations, especially
because of my lack of job attimes, like didn't pay my rent,
got evicted, lived in my car fora couple of weeks, like
situations like that.
So just for anybody out therethat's like I don't know how to
(02:50):
like start this work or whatever.
Like you know it's possible foryou, so yeah, how did you start
?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
kind of your own inner work, because we hear a
lot of the time.
Kind of your own inner workbecause we hear, we hear a lot
of the time, and and and we'llexpand more depending on what
you say, because you know, doingthe work, um, in my personal
opinion, is not cookie cutter isnot copy and paste is not.
And the way you manifest is notcopy and paste either.
(03:21):
In my opinion, it's verypersonalized um and unique as we
are.
Um, because what's going towork for me, it's probably not
going to work for you.
Uh, or some things may, and youmay take what serves you and
move on.
So, in particularly in in yourcase, how or at what age first
(03:43):
did you say, okay, hang on, youknow, maybe there's something I
can do about it.
And how did that shift start?
Like what were the first coupleof steps that you took to make
that change, or that?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
shift.
Yeah, you know it's funnybecause I'm surprised by what
actually popped into my mind.
Yeah, you know it's funnybecause I'm surprised by what
actually popped into my mind,but especially being somebody
that struggled with depressionand still does at times, it was
actually just yoga and movementthat around when I was like 16,
(04:18):
I got a yoga DVD or somethinglike that and I think that was
like the first time I wasexposed to that sort of thing.
I definitely kind of grew uplike.
I grew up in the Northwest andSeattle.
It's very depressing up there,it's hard to live with no son
and I grew up with two parentswho were just your kind of
(04:43):
typical 90s parents.
I was a latchkey kid and Ithink they did the best that
they could, but they were notvery involved or anything or
very aware that I was strugglingwith any sort of mental health
stuff and they were not verycultured.
I would say so it was not likeI really knew what yoga was.
(05:06):
Even I think I just started tohear about it or something
around age 16.
And I was like, oh, I'm goingto get a yoga DVD.
So I think I just wasintroduced to meditation at that
time, like through the yogavideo and I started doing it
every day and I started to feelbetter.
I started to feel a little bithappier doing it every day and I
started to feel better.
(05:27):
I started to feel a little bithappier.
Um, I think we know now verywell that just exercise in
general is really helpful fordepression.
Um, but there was still stuff.
You know there was trauma there.
Um and I won't get too muchinto trauma just because I don't
want to, like, activate theaudience, but it's around sexual
abuse and stuff like that, andso we don't need to go into too
(05:47):
much detail.
But you can imagine that kindof stuff really stays in the
body.
So, you know, throughout thistime period, let's say, age 16
to throughout my twenties, Ijust still couldn't figure out
what was wrong with me.
I would just have these momentswhere I was really easily
(06:08):
triggered or, um, I wouldstruggle in relationships to
like have, you know, a boyfriendthat I had.
It was just like when I in mytwenties, it was just really
hard Cause I was just always sotriggered by him because of who
he reminded me of and, like youknow, it was just like all of my
wounding was coming out in thatrelationship, which seems to be
(06:31):
like a common theme, I'venoticed, is like sometimes being
in relationship can really justbe the mirror that we need to
see what our wounds are.
But yeah, I feel like that'swhere that journey started.
And, you know, I feel like myjourney has just been like this
way and then that way, you know,like I'd fall off of doing the
DVD, but then, like five yearslater, I went to a Buddhist
(06:54):
temple for the first time in my20s and I started doing that for
a while and then, you know, youjust have seasons of life and I
think my journey has been veryslow, um, and I wouldn't say
until I was exposed to moresomatics, uh somatic practices,
(07:15):
that I actually started to feellike things were changing for me
.
Um, I did talk therapy foryears.
I I've done just all the thingslike the self-help books, like
everything trying to readaffirmations, which are not bad
I still like to do affirmationsbut for me it really has been
(07:37):
like having a daily breathworkor movement, visceral
intelligence practice that hasmade me feel so much more
embodied and grounded andintegrated with all of that
stuff that I've been living with, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Wow, there's a lot to unpack there, if I may.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah, sorry.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah, okay, cool, thank you for that, thank you
for being vulnerable.
I know, tried so many differentavenues Because Something that
(08:30):
is very Sad To me.
I understand it's all perfect,unfolding and the way evolution
should, the way each soul choseit, and so forth.
So it's a little more complexthan that, but it's still very
sad to me that, regardless ofwhatever avenues we choose to
(09:09):
try to establish that connectionback to self or back to the
divine within ourselves, it'sheavily criticized by others.
To me, I feel almost like,let's just say, humanity is
caged in in this matrix ofthought of limiting beliefs, of
conditioning right, and as longas that scale is tipping in the
way of like fear, limitation,lack, separation is tipping in
the way of like fear, limitation, lack, separation we're not
(09:30):
going to see a difference in thecollective actual reality from
where I see it, in my opinion.
Just hypothetically, thinkingof that study that was done with
the monkeys inside a cage andthen they don't let the younger
monkeys that are not used to it,they pull them down every time
they're going to exit the cageautomatically.
They don't let them come out ofthe cage.
(09:50):
So and I understand this, outof love, you know, I, I don't,
and that that a lot of peopleare doing certain things or live
in fear because they feared,like you know, the unknown or no
, I've never done it that way.
That's not the way you do it.
You know that kind of or thisis the only way.
(10:13):
This is the only truth.
So in that I I that in itself,I find it very limiting because
it's not allowing us to expandto our full capacity.
Limiting because it's notallowing us to expand to our
full capacity.
Just like a baby, you know.
It's like oh no, don't even tryto walk, that's just not going
(10:35):
to work.
Yeah Well, baby's going to, youknow it's beautiful, it's
hurtful, I mean it's, you know.
I see the baby fall trying, youknow, trying to get up, and but
you know, within as long asyou're not harming yourself or
not harming another human being,I feel it's okay to explore,
it's okay to try differentavenues.
It's, you know, as long asyou're not spiraling down into
any heavy stuff, you know it's,it's all right, you're not
(10:56):
harming anybody else, you're notharming yourself, and you're
learning, and it feels safe andit feels nurturing and you're
learning something new, right,and it feels safe and it feels
nurturing and you're learningsomething new, right?
So thank you for sharing that.
(11:17):
There are more than one way ofdoing these things.
Negative talk around yoga,around breathwork, around plant
medicine, around guides, justaround this whole spiritual
realm and around the awakeningprocess, on how it's all bad and
(11:40):
satanic and just the polaropposite, which is okay, it's
beautiful.
If you have, that's fine.
Potato, potato.
We're all entitled to our ownopinion, that's fine.
But I can't help but to inviteeveryone to question everything.
Right, that's all I'm saying.
Question it.
Why would you just take it forgranted, right?
(12:02):
Question it.
Question absolutely everythingin your life your thoughts, the
way you do things, your behavior, society, religion, all of it.
Okay.
And after you question it, ifyou come back 360, right where
you were before awesome, that'sreally good.
You know that means everythingwas in alignment, that's really
(12:24):
good, you know, that meanseverything was in alignment.
But from my personal experience,I and I can't help but to look
back and look at all thedifferent avenues and how.
Of course I'm never going to be100% with every single one,
because maybe I wasn't raised inthat religion or I don't come
(12:45):
from that lineage or thatpractice.
Well, in my and I honor themand I respect them and I have
nothing, but you know, just justa lot of grace that they came
in my life at the time that theydid because they pull me out of
out of a darkness, out of ahole, right, whether it was
(13:05):
meditation, yoga, akashicrecords, whatever it was for me.
So I see a lot of that with alot of respect and I respect
everybody else's way and journeyof getting there and of
communicating with the divinelove and divine connection
within ourselves.
(13:27):
And that has evolved so much.
Like daily it evolves.
It's different.
I am different.
My connection to God isdifferent.
The way we communicate andexchange energy and information
is different.
It's like a dance right andlittle by little you become a
(13:48):
better dance partner.
You learn new moves and newright.
So how has that been the samefor you?
Do you feel kind of like yourrelationship with whatever you
believe in?
Because I don't even know whereyou stand with this at this
point.
How has that shifted?
(14:11):
Like were you an atheist at thebeginning and and then now I
don't know whatever.
You know, how has that kind ofshifted for you?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Yeah, I'm excited that you asked me this question
and I love that you talked aboutthe dance, because I love dance
and somatics.
I love the idea of, like wedance with the universe, god,
source, whatever you want tocall it, and I just love that
idea that it's like a tango orsomething.
It's something like kind ofalmost even sensual in that way,
(14:43):
where I'm not sexual but just Imean sensual, like that.
You just that you get to likemove in this like smooth and
easy way.
But to answer your question, soyeah, my journey of
spirituality has beeninteresting in itself and I
talked about my mental healthjourney, but with that, really
there is like a pairing of myspiritual journey.
(15:07):
Um, so, when I was young,probably around similar age of
nine I was always really drawnto witchy things.
Um, you know it was thenineties, it was in vogue, like.
I remember all these shows andthings like that.
Um, and I just loved the ideaof being able to like have that
(15:34):
kind of power and magic in mylife, you know, not in like a
bad way, but just like being agood witch or something.
And and it looks different nowwhen people talk about these
things, or it's spoken aboutdifferently now, I think, um,
and so anyway, I had an aunt whoreally shut me down and scared
(15:56):
the bejesus out of me, like in areal way, with like telling me
that the devil was in my house.
And all this so literally, likeas a little kid, I thought that
the devil was in my house andbecame really, really frightened
by all of anything in thatspiritual realm.
And then and my parents, by theway, are agnostic basically we
(16:22):
just didn't, we didn't talkabout God ever.
And it's interesting justthinking about like my family.
My dad grew up in like a veryCatholic household, which is the
aunt that I was talking to ishis sister.
So I think it was just likereally strong there and I sense
and him and I have never talkedabout this to this day, but I
(16:44):
sense that like maybe he hadsomething happen, cause he just
doesn't talk about like I thinkhe believes in God, but I just
he just doesn't talk about likeany of that stuff.
And my mom was always just likeyou can believe whatever you
want to believe, like you canyou know whatever religion you
are, yeah, she was really open.
So I didn't grow up in arepressive household, but I
(17:08):
think that what my aunt didtraumatized me.
So I just kind of was like shutdown.
Um, it was like I was even justlike scared to go to church,
like cause I had friends andother family members that would
go and they'd be like, do youwant to go?
And I'd be like, uh, like I wasscared, um, like I felt like I
lost trust in God, basicallybecause I thought like, how can
(17:30):
this be?
You know, like this, um, thatthere's sort of this like evil
and there's this good, and thenthey're just like it's like a
battle, um, and so, yeah, Ithink that again, just like, as
I was introduced to meditation,I was more open to the
(17:50):
possibilities and when I was inmy early 20s, I started eating
at this Hare Krishna cafe andthere was this woman and this
man that ran the cafe and Istarted going to temple with
them and that was like a littlechapter of my life where it was
(18:10):
like it felt good to go totemple and like and they did
dancing and it's just differentat a Hare Krishna temple and you
know, it was just fun to beexposed to a different culture
too, and, um, they just it feltlike a loving family and
eventually they moved.
So, like that chapter of my lifewent and I really thought I
would be like a devout HareKrishna or, you know, thought I
(18:36):
would be like a devout HareKrishna or you know Hare Krishna
devotee for the rest of my life.
But, you know, I evolved andchanged and it was interesting
because actually not long afterthat because I was still in my
mental health struggle I likethat was soon after that I was
evicted from my home.
I was like on the street for acouple of weeks until I could
move into another housingsituation and it wasn't long
(18:57):
after that that I was just likeI'm done, like I don't believe
in God, like he's just not therefor me.
So I just don't feel it.
I just didn't feel it.
I had cut myself off frommyself.
Basically is the way I see itUm just started getting involved
in like using more drugs anddrinking every day and stuff,
and that went on until my late20s.
(19:21):
And that's actually when, um, II don't know why I picked it up,
but like I had already beenintroduced to like the secret
manifestation and I was likesecretively like reading
affirmations and I wassecretively making vision boards
, but I didn't want anyone toknow so, but I was still like
I'm an atheist.
I'm an atheist like for yearsof my life, um, and I feel like
(19:47):
it's only been in the last fiveyears, actually, that I'm like
out spiritually, because I thinkthere was like this whole other
side of um.
Some, interestingly enough andI didn't mention this earlier
but some of my family membersare also also atheists, so I was
like on team atheist and thenwhen I was like I'm not
(20:08):
Christian and I'm not atheist,everyone hates me and and I
think it's just funny because itall comes down to like we need
to explore and be our mostauthentic selves, and for me, I
haven't really fallen into anybox.
I'm just trying to connect withthat greater consciousness all
(20:30):
the time do you mind if Iinterrupt you there?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, thank you.
So, from where I stand, if as acollective, we could find and
respect the beauty of ourdifferences and our own
personalized journey.
Well, I have to look at thespiritual meaning.
(20:57):
What was that?
A fly.
That's got to be a message.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I think that's a confirmation.
We have a yes.
Yes, we have a yes, it's a flyin the room.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Thank you, universe.
So you know, if we could.
Just, I've been through so manyreligions looking for God
outside myself and that didn'treally shift until my near-death
experience.
My perception of God and myperception is my perception, and
(21:38):
even that is changing, right.
You don't have to agree withthat perception.
Nobody does.
It's a personal relationship.
It's very unique to each one ofus.
So of course, you're not goingto fall into any box.
You're not going to fall intoany and that's okay.
You could follow the crowd's,fine, you could belong to a
religion.
That's beautiful.
(21:58):
Be there as long as you'rehappy there.
Be there as long as you feelwelcome.
Be there as long as you agreewith what's being shared.
And when it's no longer the case, I hope that you can find
courage within yourself to moveon, to listen to your heart, to
wherever you do feel safe,wherever you do feel love and
(22:22):
I've come down to, because Iwork with so many people from so
many different backgrounds andthat's the people I call in, I
attract to work with, because Idon't see any difference and by
doing the sessions with them,and sometimes their higher self
(22:44):
will come in or their guideswill come in, and of course it
varies depending on what theirbelief system is, and I find
that so beautiful.
So what I would like to inviteeveryone listening is just to to
be like a child, to open up.
Nobody's enforcing any beliefsupon you.
You don't have to be spiritual,you don't have to be atheists,
(23:07):
you don't have to believe in God.
But if we could focus, as acollective, in values and
virtues, if we could focus as acollective in values and virtues
, right?
So a lot of the religions have alot of things in common.
They go by the golden rule,right, kind of like do unto
others as you want others to dounto you.
(23:27):
Respect and love one another.
Help the sick, be kind, don'tkill.
Help the sick, be kind, don'tkill.
Just like little standardthings that are, I don't know, I
(23:47):
guess, what you would callsomeone with integrity or with a
good, open heart.
And if we could just all focuson doing that within ourselves,
we would just have a betterworld period and we would, in my
opinion, come back to onenessand when I mean oneness, I don't
mean I don't want you to belike me in regards to more
(24:13):
kindness, to more love, to morepeace, to dialogue, to
respecting, to biodiversity, torespecting every light form,
respecting Mother Earth,co-creating with Source, just
(24:37):
opening up our consciousness tosomething different to love.
Coming back to love, back toour essence.
You know we have theseimaginary things.
Let's just say, this warbetween good and evil, right
that is exist in every religionis portrayed in many different
ways.
Um, and a lot of times is alsothat light and darkness within
(24:58):
ourselves.
Ah, there it is again.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I know so funny.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
That light and darkness within ourselves, right
that we have to kind of balancethose polar opposites.
So, with that being said, youknow that flight just took me
off my track, right.
The idea I had.
What I'm saying is, if we canlook at our similarities rather
(25:26):
than our differences, a lot ofus could get our beliefs or our
limitations, even because thatcould crush someone's dream,
(25:52):
someone's life, someone's maybethey want to go for a business
or an idea and just your ownlimitations, because you have
not been able to follow your own, you bring them down or you're
being negative on that person.
Let's encourage the person,let's be there, let's be
supportive, just kind ofshifting that mindset
(26:14):
individually and then to be ableto rip it all as a collective
right.
Hopefully our kids will be ableto watch that we've changed our
partner and hopefully that willbe like like maybe I should
kind of look into looking withinor be more kind or whatever, or
going to church.
Whatever works for everybody.
It's beautiful.
(26:34):
So just kind of more in regardsto that.
But after this whole spiel, Iwanted to move into somatics and
art specifically because that'sbeen two big parts for me.
Number one tell me a little bitmore about what are some of the
somatics that you usespecifically to dance?
(26:57):
Are there any particular danceor movement, or is it free flow,
et cetera?
What do you like to do or whatyou have explored, and then it
would be into art.
Same thing.
Actually, you're majoring rightand in regards to something, in
regards to art yeah, yes, so ifyou can tell us a little bit
(27:18):
more about kind of like the somaand the art, avenues and roads
and what you've tried, what hasworked and and then from there
you kind of can tell us how youactually merge these and work
with people and what is it thatyou do and you share.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Yeah, okay, I'm ready .
I have been so excited since Ilearned about somatics.
Like I said, there's that flyagain Since I learned about som
um, because I just want to shareit with the world.
It always is just um comes downto three things.
So somatics can consist ofsound, movement or breath Um,
(27:57):
and we talked about this on mypodcast a little bit.
But you know, sound can be likehumming right, humming
activates that vagus nerve.
It's put you in theparasympathetic state, so we can
be more um, more in that restand relax state.
And so I said sound and thenobviously breath work.
There's different breath workpatterns that you can do to
(28:21):
either activate or to relax.
And then with movement, a lot ofmy movement is focused on using
visceral intelligence to helpmove stagnant energy out of the
body.
So in a session, let's say,we'll work a lot with a body
scan first and then we kind ofdo this exploration.
(28:42):
That's sort of like parts work,and if people don't know what
parts work is, it's from theit's called internal family
systems.
You can look it up.
But it's really this idea thatwe have many, many parts of
ourselves and we actually canhold this somatically in our
body.
So you might be like, oh mygosh, like my, the five-year-old
(29:04):
in me that always wanted to bean artist lives right in my
heart and she feels soheartbroken and I can see her
and I can see that she's wearinga red dress and whatever,
whatever.
You can start to have a lot ofvisual stimulation as we do this
visceral intelligence exerciseand I'll invite people into some
(29:25):
like intuitive movement to likekind of let more be released.
It's kind of like um, what arethose called?
When you like, uh, those thingsyou crack on the side of the
road that they have a littlefire, the um having a total
brain fart.
But you know, when you likecrack it, it goes on fire.
The flares, the flares, theflares, it's like it kind of
(29:46):
like opens this thing up andfrom there we can do somatic
practices to help support thebody.
So if somebody needs to do somehumming or some breathing or
some sort of intuitive movementto help themselves feel, because
the more we feel it, the morewe heal it, the easier it is to
(30:09):
be present with the emotionalpain that lives inside of us,
the more it sort of dissipatesand the more we can integrate
with it.
And I've been really liking thisidea of integration, by the way
, because I think I want tocircle back to something I said
earlier, which is like I alwaysfelt like I needed to be fixed,
like I need to be healed, I needto be fixed, and I was always
(30:31):
searching, and I just reallywant to invite people into this
idea of integration, because wehave all these parts of
ourselves, these aspects, and wecan't just make them go away.
They're a part of our wovenstory.
And so, with the expressivearts practice, which I didn't
say but so yeah, right now I'mgetting my master's in
counseling and it's anexpressive arts focused program,
(30:54):
and so we use things like dancetherapy, we use music therapy,
we use visual therapy, we canuse cinema therapy, which is one
of my favorite things.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
If you're somebody that I was just looking at that
today popped up on my phone.
I thought it was the coolestthing yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Oh, yes, like I think that there's so many different
ways we can use cinema to helpourselves transmute emotions, to
help us process.
I was just talking about um.
I was talking about this withmy husband cause we watched this
movie recently called it's kindof a funny story.
It's about a young boy who goesum, he gets, uh, he has a 5150
(31:39):
place on him so he has mandatoryhold in a mental health
facility and, um, I think it's agreat one for teens to watch
who are struggling with mentalhealth.
So it's just like we can usethese films to help people be
like, get a sense of hope ofgetting through a story, be like
I relate to that story.
We can do our own story,writing to tell our story and
(32:02):
maybe give ourselves a happyending.
Um, all of these things canhelp us be more fully expressed,
and so my focus in my programbecause you kind of have to
narrow it down has definitelybeen dance, and so I use a lot
of just intuitive dance,ecstatic dance, and I've done
(32:23):
pole dance.
I've done, I've been wanting tolearn belly dancing and so just
trying different dances.
Um, there's different research,even for like, as you might know
, like for Parkinson's and like.
Recently there was a studyabout how dance is beating out
SSRIs in terms of helping peoplewith depression, which is
(32:46):
incredible.
And this is dance is speedingout exercise for beating
depression.
So I dance every day, I danceevery morning.
I dance to at least one song,if not two.
If I have time, I go 30 minutes, you know.
And so, yeah, I just like Ilove dance and I love movement,
and I think, if we can take iteven further into another
(33:08):
artistic modality that feelsgood and you feel drawn to, it's
such a beautiful and spiritualexperience to be able to find
ways to express ourselves andallow ourselves to integrate and
see ourselves in the story thatwe've lived so far and that we
(33:29):
are continuing to create andlive in, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
I'm fascinated by everything you've said, maybe
because I resonate with all ofit and it's been a big part of
my journey.
But to me, the divine useswhatever brings us into that
flow state as inspiration, as amoment where we can just connect
(34:05):
and be in flow with the divineand, in my opinion, whether it
be grief, sadness or whatever itis, but you're in that, it's
just a flow state, it's just,you're just immersed, lost in it
, you're just so present.
You're present and presence atthe same time in the now moment,
(34:29):
which is one of the few timeswhere you're not worried about
the future or worried about thepast.
So I have been considering forthe past month doing Afro-Cuban
(34:54):
dancing and well, of course, nowyou mentioned this and I'm like
, yes, and if the fly comesbefore we drop the podcast, that
would be another yes for me.
Okay, I'm expecting it now.
Yeah, so yeah.
And I'm taking art classes.
(35:17):
I love painting.
I do these weird I learnedthey're called, I think, blind,
blind drawing or no, blindcontouring.
That's what I do.
I don't even know what I dobecause I just do it
automatically, so I don't knowthat it had a name or anything.
Pretty much I just grab acanvas or a paper or whatever.
(35:37):
I start on one end, it is onecontinuous line and I make
different things without liftingthe actual.
Sometimes I do it with my eyesclosed and sometimes I just
paint it with my eyes open,depending on how I feel inspired
to do it, and I make therandomest, weirdest stuff and I
(35:59):
love it.
I feel there are no thoughts,no worries, I am in flow, I'm in
purely therapeutic, I am justlike in awe, like shh, my brain
is just like in heaven.
So I just started art class andI was like I just started
(36:22):
reading the artist way as well.
Oh yeah, yay, um, so I don'tknow.
I just just now.
I have never before doneanything artistic, ever, ever.
So just now I'm allowing myself, I feel, to be more in balance
(36:43):
with my feminine Cause I wasoperating in my masculine for so
long and it has helped me so,so much in every way, and I feel
that therapy that we have nowcould include or start including
so much more somatics andtherapy and aroma therapy and
(37:08):
all of these different modes,kind of like a 360 approach
rather than a cookie cutterapproach.
Here's your SSRI.
Here's your first line oftreatment.
Good luck with that.
I hope you don't commit suicide.
Don't quit abruptly, right?
Yeah, so I feel like, especiallyif we've been through it, we
(37:40):
want to be the example, to offersomething different to other
people.
It's like we probably use ourchallenges and whatever we went
through to create what we wishwe had when we were going
through it, or at least that'show I see it.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
I completely agree with that.
I think that I would havebenefited so much from art
therapy and somatics.
I think I spent so long justtalking and people don't,
especially when there's traumainvolved.
Like, people don't talk abouttrauma, they don't just say,
well, this terrible thinghappened, you know, by so-and-so
(38:11):
, when I was nine years old orwhatever, and um, and that's
like people don't process thatway.
Um, a lot of those things aresuppressed and and there's
different like types of talktherapy, of course, that like
depth psychology and stuff thatcan help people verbally process
.
But I just feel like, for me atleast, I've just fallen in love
(38:34):
with nonverbal processing.
So, yeah, I think it's reallylike having, like creating a
space where people can be guided.
I feel like I don't have theanswers.
I just want to create a spacewhere you can discover them
within yourself.
You know it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
I love that.
I love.
I share very much the idea ofguiding people within for
answers.
Yeah, that's what I'm all about.
Yeah, we're there for support,we're there to guide you, we're
there to share our tools, butultimately, you know, it's
really there's a lot ofresponsibility that relies on
(39:21):
them.
If they really want to change,they have to be able willing,
open, right.
So if you tell want to change,they have to be able willing,
open, right.
So if you tell me to moo like acow and you know it works, as
weird and quick as it sounds.
You know, if I'm not willingand open I'll be like uh f you,
I'm done.
This session doesn't work forme.
(39:42):
This is BS, you know, yeah,yeah.
So you have to be, you know, beable to willing and open to to
try new things and um,especially from somebody who's
actually tested them and beenbeen through it um themselves.
So what does working with youlook like?
Like, um, what are some of thestuff?
(40:04):
Is this some of the same stuffyou bring into a session?
How long is the session?
Is it a couple of sessions?
Do you do like an interviewfirst to kind of determine what
the person needs Like?
How does that look like?
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Yeah, thanks for asking that.
Um, you know, honestly, a lotof people will just do one-offs.
Um, you know, I get people thatwill sign up for eight weeks or
something, especially whenthey're really going through
something hard like a divorce ora job transition or something
like that.
Usually people will want towork with me a little bit longer
(40:38):
around that.
But I love that one session canbe so powerful for people
Excuse me.
I love that, like, one sessioncan be so powerful for people,
excuse me.
And so, yeah, I just will sendthem a little bit of a
questionnaire.
We won't really do aconsultation per se, just kind
of emailing if they want to tellme what's going on, because,
(41:03):
again, that's more cognitive andlike verbal processing, and so
in a session it's prettytypically the same.
Unless I can tell that theperson has just shown up and
they're really dysregulated,then we need to like do some
immediate like regulation.
So sometimes that happens.
But so, whatever tool we mightuse, I will explore that with
(41:25):
them, like what would feel good.
So it might be some breath work, it might be some sound, it
might be some movement, um, butif they're, they come in, which
most, most people do.
They come in and they want totalk, or so I give them.
I give them 15 minutes, I give10, 10, 15 minutes max to
verbalize what's going on.
Um, and then from there wecheck in with the body.
(41:46):
We I always do a body scan withpeople.
I think body scans are like themost basic, most powerful tool.
Like literally, I will spendthree minutes throughout my day
just to like check in with mybody, because it's so easy to
ignore.
Until you get home at the endof the day you notice the most
people, like when you're working40 hours a week or whatever.
(42:07):
You get home and you're justlike, wow, my shoulder hurts,
like I didn't notice it all day.
But it's not until we finallyare in that safe, calm space
that we can actually start tonotice our bodies.
So it's good to do consistentbody scans and checking in, but
so with the session we'll dothat visceral intelligence
(42:27):
exercise and we'll start toreally drop in, be the observer
of our experience and see whatstarts to come through.
A lot of people do get thosevisuals like I was talking about
, where they start to see shapesand colors and we might start
talking to it.
What is that?
What's there for you?
(42:48):
What's alive for you.
How is that feeling?
Does it feel tense, does itfeel open?
And so we just begin to explorewhat's alive for them in their
body.
Some people that don't have asmany visuals might just get you
know, cause we have like thefive senses.
So some people might starthearing something.
They might start saying likeknow, because we have like the
five senses.
So some people might starthearing something.
They might start saying like,oh, I'm getting another sort of
(43:10):
somatic thing.
They might start feeling likegoosebumps or whatever.
It's so different for everyone.
And so, with that, we're justreally exploring what's within
them.
And that's where I'm just likeI'm not the wise person that
knows all the end, all be alllike you are the, the knower,
(43:31):
the truth seeker of your, ofyour own soul and your own body.
And so, with that, that's whereI will invite them to ask those
things that they're seeing orfeeling or hearing, what they
need.
Right, it always comes backdown to like, how can we meet
our own needs?
And that doesn't mean that wedon't need people, but we do
(43:53):
need to learn how to find.
If you want love, if you wantabundance, if you want health,
it already lives inside of you.
You just have to unblock andmove the stagnant energy out of
your body that's preventing itfrom being expressed.
You know I love that.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
I hope that answers that clearly yeah, and I feel
like when, when we do thesession uh, which I have to get
back to you on that, I feel likein some ways, a a lot of us use
similar techniques in our ownway, but again very similar to
(44:33):
religion.
There's like common threads,yeah.
Right so after we do it, I'mgoing to probably be asking you
how is it similar to the stuffthat you do?
Because from what you'redescribing there's a lot of
similarities.
So it's very interesting howdifferent ways of working still
(44:53):
we come back to.
Okay, your body has thoseanswers, it knows, it has wisdom
, and I love the focus on kindof like being self-sufficient
with a guide until you get thehang of it, and then you can do
in the practices yourself and ifyou ever need me, I'm a ring
away type.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
uh I, yeah, I really believe in that, because I kind
of hate the idea of like guruaddiction or something where
it's like, yeah, we don't wantto, I don't want you to have to.
Like, depend on me, I want youto like this is a liberatory
practice, like we want toliberate you and know that you
don't have to depend on thewisdom of others to to know,
(45:38):
like it's, it's already insideof you.
Um, yeah, it's, it'sinteresting because, with what
you were saying, like, I'veworked with other guides myself
that have done similar ishthings too, but it's just, it
just hits different.
You know like you're gonna bein a container with somebody.
Everybody's energetic medicineis different.
(46:01):
You know, um and I think that'simportant like, like when, like
for the listener, when peopleare, or when you're looking for
someone, like you want to feelsafe with them, you want to feel
like they're not judging you orwhatever it is that you're
needing right.
Like you, you can just feelthat if their medicine is a good
(46:22):
match for you 100%, 100%, 100%.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
And is there any last messages you want to leave the
listeners with?
Also where they can find you.
What's the best way to reachyou?
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Yeah, just, my whole thing hasjust come down to love.
You know, it's easy for me tosay, just love yourself.
You know, cause I know that ifyou're listening right now and
you're, I'm like I'm almostabout to cry, um, cause I've
been there.
(47:00):
You know, um, if you can, justif you're having a hard time
loving yourself, can you justaccept yourself right now?
Can you just look in the mirrorand say, okay, this is, this is
who I am, this is where I'm at?
Can you just start there?
And it always comes down tojust knowing that there is so
(47:25):
much love for you out there.
And, by the way, I was trying toremember what the phone number
for the Suicide Hotline was lasttime you were on my podcast.
I just wanted to share it realquick, but it's 988.
So if anyone out there isstruggling with that, even if
you're like I'm not really likeeven if you're like level one
had the thought like, call, callthem.
(47:46):
They're so nice, I've calledthem myself.
People are there for you.
So mental health is really bigto me, obviously.
So that's kind of my.
My last thing is just likereach out for people and it's
okay If in your head.
You're just like I wish I couldtake a month off and that
people would bring me soup everyday.
Well, maybe that can bearranged, I don't know, but it's
(48:10):
okay to have those thoughts,yeah.
And then, as far as connectingwith me, I have my own podcast,
obviously.
So Leah was a guest and I'mexcited for your episode to come
out.
Um, and so that's called for thelove of self and that was like
(48:31):
channeled to me, that thatbusiness name was channeled to
me, I swear, because I wasthinking about this idea of like
.
You know how people say like,oh, for the love of god, you
know, I would just say like forthe love of self, like I needed
to, you know, I mean god's stillthere, we're, you know, but
that's self.
Like I needed to, you know, Imean God's still there, we're,
you know, but that's, we'reconnected, it's all one, you
know.
So, um, so I have the for thelove of self podcast and then my
(48:55):
, my Instagram handle and TikTOK handles are a little bit
different variations of that,cause, you know there's for the
love of love of dot self is myinstagram handle.
So, anyway, I guess we can justmake sure we put the link we'll
put it in the description.
There's no worries um, yeah, soI'd love to.
If you ever need to chat withsomebody, don't be shy, just dm
(49:19):
me, I'll send you resources.
You know you don't have to feelobligated to work with me, but
I will.
I do care about people's mentalhealth, so I'll definitely send
you resources.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
So thank you so much.
Thank you for being here.
It's an honor to have you.
I'm looking forward to usworking together.
I love your energy to feel thatyou embody the work that you do
, because you've been through itand you know right away when
(49:52):
somebody's walked the path.
So thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (49:58):
Thank you for that.
Yeah, thank you for having mehere and thank you everyone for
listening my pleasure.
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