May 24, 2023 • 40 mins
in this episode, Cass gives us so many great ideas for how to fill you elopement day with things that are fun and authentically you as well as us figuring out ways to make your day reflect being a part of the lgbtq+ community!
Here is the full list of activities that Cass has suggested:
here are a few traditionally adventurous activities you and your partner can do on your wedding day:
- Hiking
- Camping
- Book a land, water or air tour (heli-ride onto a remote section of a glacier is pretty dope!)
- Biking
- Horseback riding
- Cliff jumping swimming
- Relax by a campfire
- Chill in some hot springs to start or finish your day
- kayak/canoe/paddleboard
- Hot air balloon ride
- Hammock hang
- Glacier trekking
- Ziplining
- climbing
And a few ideas that are a little different but just as special and can add so much more meaning to your day:
- Making time to have your favorite drink together in the morning like coffee or tea or stop at a brewery along the way
- Write and exchange private vows (even if you’re eloping just the 2 of you, you can ask your media team to give you a few minutes alone)
- Take 5 mins to Journal/paint about your day so you can look back and remember exactly how you felt in that moment
- Write or record a voice memo note to each other for your first wedding anniversary
- If you two are gamers, take a few minutes to play some mario kart on your Switch and whoever wins has to drive
- choreograph a fun dance and make a wedding day Tiktok!
- Plan some after dark photos of you two star gazing, snuggling by a bonfire, watching a meteor shower, playing with sparklers,
- Play cards or do a puzzle
- Plan a picnic
- Cook breakfast together
- Incorporate your pets like taking them on a walk
- Check out a museum
- Stop off at the zoo
Say hello to Cass @narrowleafphotography on instagram!
The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic
Queerly Beloved, I'm so glad you joined!
Please keep the community going by checking me out on instagram @wildlyconnectedphoto and come say hi! I'd love to hear from you! :)
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Clearly beloved, welcome back tothis week's episode.
This is Anna, your host, ihi,her pronouns, and today I have
with me pass from narrow leafphotography, which I'm so
excited about.
Like I was just thinking aboutbefore we hopped on.
I was like, Wow, like this ispart of my job.
(00:25):
I get to just like chat withlike cool, adventurous people
and ask them questions and likelearn about your life and your
passions and also like, Helppeople listening along the way.
Like, what?
That's so cool.
So yeah, thank you so much for,for being with us here today.
(00:47):
I would love if you couldintroduce yourself, your
pronouns, and Yeah, just tell usa little bit about you.
Awesome.
Yay.
Well, I'm excited to be hereand, um, yeah, so I'm Cass.
I use she her pronouns as well.
Um, I started kind of myphotography journey quite a long
time ago.
I'm gonna age myself here alittle bit.
(01:08):
Um, but, so I did my firstwedding in 2006, and from there,
I.
Did this kind of photographything like part-time, always
knowing it was something Iwanted to do full-time.
I did everything from likefamilies, babies, real estate,
basically anything anyone wouldgive me a dollar for.
I was like, heck yes, I have acamera.
I can do that.
Um, And then I think it wasaround like 2017 ish is when I
(01:32):
started to really kind of dialin on weddings and couples and
things like that.
Um, with like an adventurousapproach to like their
engagement sessions, familysessions and things like that.
And then I was introduced tothis concept of.
Adventure weddings and I waslike completely blown away.
I was like scrolling outInstagram and this, like I just,
(01:52):
I still remember it like to thisday it was like this mountain
scape and they were like clearlyat the top of a mountain.
Like they had to have been like14,000 feet up or something.
And it was like this couple.
In wedding attire.
And I was just like taken back.
I was like, people do this.
Like how is this, how is thislike real life?
And I remember like dreamingabout it, but being like a
Midwest person, I was like, oh,that would be cool.
(02:14):
One day maybe whatever.
We don't really have, you know,views like that here.
Right.
And um, I took a workshop in2019 and actually like kind of
learned how to like.
Market and, um, move towardsthis like vision that I had with
like adventure, activity-based,experience-based wedding days
versus like the traditional, youknow, barn wedding with like 300
(02:38):
people.
And nothing against that,that's, you know, it's, it's for
some people, but it was startingto really, um, have you come
into a clear view that thatwasn't necessarily what, uh,
like spoke to me anymore andwhat I wanted to be a part of.
Um, and so, yeah, I guess Istarted kind of.
Nicheing down into this kind ofadventure based, um, thing and
(03:00):
doing a lot of traveling andhiking and activities.
You know, we've done like paddleboarding sessions, we've done
cliff jumping.
We've been a part of like, iceclimbing in Alaska and just like
all these different activitiesand, and adventures that people
have been able to like, youknow, reflect like their true
relationship in.
(03:20):
Their wedding day as well.
Like if they're hikers, theywanna hike on their wedding day,
it makes sense.
Right.
Um, this is a really long answertoo.
I just realized.
I apologize.
I'm almost done.
I'll wrap it up.
So basically I kind of got, Istarted to feel the burnout in
2020.
I think all of us got affectedfrom like the pandemic and stuff
(03:41):
like that.
And I started to kind of realizethat, you know, traveling is
great and I love it.
I still 100%.
Love traveling for, forelopement and weddings and going
on adventures out westespecially.
Um, but I started to realize itwasn't really attainable, like
full-time.
We were traveling from onedestination to another and then
flying to another, and thenfinally flying home for a week
and then like flying out again.
(04:02):
Um, and I decided to reallystart to build a adventure
activity based business.
In the Midwest and that wassomething that, you know, not a
lot of people were doing.
And I had this like mental blockof like, we don't have mountains
here in the traditional sense.
We don't have like theadventurous places.
But when I started to actuallythink about like how could I do
this same concept I was doingout west here at home, I started
(04:26):
to realize we do have all that.
The Midwest has so manybeautiful places and spaces and
viewpoints and more seclusionand just like so much more.
Um, You know, greenery andforest and a really diverse, I
guess, diverse landscape here athome.
And so, yeah, that's, that'sbasically what I do in a very
long-winded nutshell.
(04:46):
Yes.
Yeah.
No, I love it.
Yeah, no, no need to apologize.
It's, it's super awesome to hearyour passions and, um, Yeah, I
mean that's how we got connectedwas, you know, kind of having
those same hopes and dreams forthe Midwest because I mean,
(05:07):
yeah, I feel the same way whereit's like, of course, yeah.
Like if you wanna do somethingin California, that's awesome.
And also, like there are placeshere that like not a lot of
people know about, uh, or like,Yeah, it just, the Midwest could
honestly use some hyping up.
(05:27):
So on that note, um, I thinkit's really cool that we're kind
of trying to showcase that theMidwest is cool that there are
options and stuff like that.
So I'm kind of curious from yourpoint of view, like what do you
think.
Makes the midwife so great andlike a great option.
(05:47):
Yeah, that's such a greatquestion.
Um, so first of all, the onething that I really love about
like the Midwest being an optionfor people is it's more like
accessible, um, in the fact thatnot only do you have like an
easier permit process for a lotof places, Currently this could
change, depends on when you'relistening, but right now it's,
it's usually not very crowded,like national parks or, or
(06:10):
places out west.
Um, you know, we're not as like,affected by like the photography
boom that's kind of happeningwhere you, you know, go to a,
like, you know, Zion NationalPark and I, we did a wedding
there and we sell like anotherone and, you know, in the same
space and stuff like that.
So you have more of that like,Privacy, um, in beautiful
places.
And I, one thing that I kind ofalready touched on is like the,
(06:32):
the vastness of the differentlandscapes.
You know, we have like 300 footcliffs and we have, you know,
the, the Great Lakes and we havesand dunes out in Michigan, and
like, there's just like allthese different.
Cool places and, and I just lovelike exploring kind of my
backyard and finding all those,because for the longest time I
was so focused on the west.
(06:53):
Like especially Alaska is like ahuge place that I love and kept
finding myself exploring andgoing back to repeatedly year
after year.
Um, And instead I started tokind of focus in on home and
finding those different places.
And, and there's, there's this,I don't know if you, if you all
have heard this, the listeners,but like there's this Minnesota
nice concept, which is so true.
(07:14):
And the further north you go,the nicer people are and the
more like humbling you feelbecause there's like no Walmarts
and there's like, you know, it'sjust these small little, some
people would call'em sleepytowns, but I, I love them.
I don't think that, you know,People can always find that
experience like in bigger citiesor, you know, and, and we do
have the metropolitan area.
(07:35):
We do have like Minneapolis andSt.
Paul that's nearby, which isaccessible for any guests that
would maybe wanna fly in, thingslike that.
But then you can just get inyour car and drive and find.
Seclusion and get lost in theforest, or go to cool harbor
towns, or go to museums or ridea train or like float planes.
Like there's just so manydifferent really cool kind of
adventures in our area with nota lot of people.
(07:58):
Yes, that's so true.
Like it's.
I mean, it's certainly, it's notto say that like we don't have
busy seasons or have like timesor places.
So like, you know, hopefullythat's like a little bit of
social proof, like people stillcome here, it's just not, yeah,
it's definitely not the same aslike the coast, which I think is
(08:21):
probably why honestly peopleassume that the Midwest is like
not great, is just because we'relike all landlocked and
whatever, but.
I don't know if you kind of likesquint your eyes a little bit,
like superior is basically theocean, so like, yeah.
Yeah.
No, that's super cool.
Um, yeah, so for anyonelistening, add the Midwest to
(08:45):
your, to your search, um, butyeah, I, that's part of the
reason I really wanted to bringyou on here today is cuz I
remember coming across here, saya while ago, and, um, You had
talked about this idea of like amulti-day elopement and you
(09:05):
know, had all these ideas forlike cool activities and things
to do, and I think that'ssomething that while elopement
are starting to catch on moreand become more normalized,
they're still definitely a bigquestion of like, what do you
even do?
Like.
Or, you know, we only need youfor an hour or something like
(09:27):
that.
Um, so I wanted to have you onto kind of talk about some ideas
and things like that, and then,um, because you're such an
awesome ally and support thecommunity, we can also kind of
chat through ways that maybefolks from the community here
listening could sort of add aflare of that into their day as
(09:49):
well.
So, Let's just dive right intoit.
Yay.
I love it.
I'm probably gonna give anotherlong-winded idea list here, but
yeah, so for anyone listening,if you are considering doing
like a small wedding orelopement and thinking that like
one to two hours would be plentyof time, I hear you.
Like when I, when I try to putmyself in like my couple's shoes
and I think about like, youknow, what does an hour or two
(10:13):
of photography sound, you know,Photography time sound like that
sounds like a lot.
That sounds like kind ofmiserable intention filling and
being like, I don't wanna be onfor a full, solid two hours.
Right.
But when you really like dial itback and you really think about
like the different things thatyou're actually going to be
doing, it's not like a two hourphoto shoot or a four hour photo
shoot or an eight hour photoshoot, you're, you are living
(10:35):
and breathing.
And adventuring and exploringand having activities and you're
getting freaking married, soeverything's gonna take a little
bit longer than you anticipate.
You know, the ceremony you mightthink is only gonna be like five
minutes, but then you are, youknow, you have to think about
the time getting into the car,driving into your ceremony site,
getting out, you know, walkingto the ceremony site.
Maybe you have to use therestroom, grab a snack, you
(10:55):
might, you know, there's a lotof different things, um, that
kind of goes into that section,which is clearly longer than
like five minutes.
And the thing that I always tellcouples, You know, that are on
the fence and thinking like, oh,we really just need you for like
two hours.
Let's ceremony and some photosafter.
Right.
You know, what I always tellpeople is, you know, you chose
to have a small wedding orelopement intentionally.
You chose to do it because it isa more stress free, you know,
(11:17):
more relaxed, more intimatesituation.
And so the last thing you wannado is put time restraints into
an hour.
Like how do you fit a wholewedding day into an hour or two?
Right?
And you're, you know, in orderto honor, like, not only.
You know, honor your weddingday, but honor you and your
partner.
I always feel.
That adding a little extra timeallows you to be relaxed.
(11:38):
It allows you to not have to belooking at the clock being like,
oh, oh no, we only have fivemore minutes.
We need to try to fit all thisin.
Or, you know, things like thatbecause that's what people did
in a traditional wedding day.
And you know, and, and you hadto do that because in a
traditional wedding day, if likeone thing was delayed the entire
day was.
Fucked.
But when it comes to like yourelopement and stuff, you know,
(11:58):
you have the freedom and thechoice to do things differently
and you chose to do a yourwedding day differently.
Therefore you kind of need toapproach it in a little bit
different mindset, you know, andthat if you wanna have, you
know, An actual experience andyou wanna actually remember your
day and you wanna actually likehonor your partner and actually
have time and space to be in themoment.
(12:22):
You have to actually kind of puttime in for breaks and for those
moments, instead of just beinglike, this is a block for the
ceremony, this is a block forphotos and we're done,
basically.
Um, does that track, does thatmake sense?
Feel like I could talk about whyyou should add more time in two
days and.
Five, like even four hours isn'tenough, but I always have like a
(12:45):
minimum of four hours just to,to work with me as a
photographer and as anadventure, um, you know,
adventure brand that focusesheavily on experiences over just
kind of, Getting the photos andmoving on.
Um, you know, and, and eventhen, I feel like four hours
isn't always enough.
There's this niche situationwhere maybe you're only doing
(13:06):
one small adventure that doesn'trequire a whole lot of movement
or like hiking or driving oranything like that.
Um, where I think four hours isokay, but realistically, 6, 8,
10 hour days, 12 hour days even,which I know sounds crazy.
He's like, what do you do inthat time?
But you're getting ready withyour partner.
You're maybe having breakfasttogether.
Maybe making coffee or pancakes,you know, and then you're moving
(13:28):
into getting ready together.
And then you're moving into, youknow, driving to your ceremony
site.
And then you're having thisbeautiful ceremony where you say
your vows to each other, andthen you have this little pocket
of time afterwards, just the twoof you, you know, and you can
even have a section where youhave.
100% private vows where you evenkick me or your photographer,
your immediate team out and say,we just wanna have a moment
(13:50):
together.
So then you, what you're doingis you're actually allowing the
time and space to be in themoment and you're beat
intentional about it.
And that way you'll actually beable to remember your day.
Cuz it's often that people thatonly have like one to two hours
of coverage, they're like, itflew by, I barely remember
anything.
You know, it was kind ofstressful and stuff like that,
which sounds a lot.
Like a traditional wedding whereagain, I used to hear that time
(14:13):
and time again.
Early in my career, I woulddeliver galleries.
They're like, I didn't evenremember that happening.
When did that happen?
How?
How am I in this photo?
I don't even remember doing thisthing.
So, yeah.
Yes, absolutely no, like, Amillion times, yes.
To everything you said, becauseI think you touched on like
(14:34):
intentionality a lot, right?
Like if people are choosing todo a small wedding or elopement,
they're usually doing it withlike intention and like, you
know.
Yeah.
It's gonna be like you're doingthis because you want a
different experience and youwanna be able to like, enjoy,
embrace, and remember thatexperience.
(14:56):
So like, Yeah, 100%.
Um, I also think, like,something I've been thinking
about recently is like, I kindof shoot like a mix of
traditional and elopement andlike in both cases, a lot of
times I like hear couples beinglike, whoa.
Like, we don't need any gettingready photos, or we don't need
(15:19):
X, or we don't need Y, or blahblah blah.
Like they're just like, it's soeasy for people to get
hyper-focused on like, this iswhat we need, this is what we
don't need.
Like it turns into like achecklist, whatever.
And I don't know, I've just beenthinking about it so much
recently cuz I'm like, yeah, Ithink it's maybe an like a
(15:42):
different concept for people tothink about, like, Oh, you know,
getting ready photos, like, Idon't need that.
But you also don't need like anice vanilla oat milk latte.
But is it great?
Is it nice?
Does it make you happy?
Like, and also, yeah, like maybeyou're not gonna like two weeks
(16:03):
from now be like, wow, Iremember this like one specific
like, you know, latte, but likeit was really nice having it and
I enjoyed doing that and like,Obviously with photos you will
get to remember it because it'sbeing documented.
But yeah, I just think that'ssuch a cool concept to think
(16:24):
like, like the thing youmentioned of like making
pancakes with your partner.
Do I like, need quote unquotephotos of that with my partner,
but like, no, but what Iabsolutely like.
Love it, because that's also areflection of our love story
(16:44):
equally as much as the ceremony.
Absolutely.
So, yeah, no, I, I 100% agreewith everything you said.
Yes.
I'm so glad that you touched onthat too, is it's like sometimes
those photos in the, in themorning of the getting ready can
actually be some of the most.
Emotionally charged images.
(17:05):
And it's because, you know, Imean, I can't say exactly why,
but I feel like it's because,um, you know, the nerves are
pretty high, excitement,nervousness, things like that,
you know, and it's these momentsbefore the big day.
Right.
And it's, it's, it'sstorytelling.
Like that's where thestorytelling, that's where the
story starts is them, you know,you and your partner waking up.
(17:27):
Making pancakes together, youknow, we photographed that and
moving into, again, like thegetting ready photos and things
like that, and it's just thesedifferent moments and these
different pockets of time that.
Immortalizes the full day.
So when you're, you know, 50years down the road, you're
looking back at your gallery ofimages and you remember every
fucking moment perfectly becauseyou have it documented every
(17:49):
single moment and it cantransport you back in time and
transport you back to thatmoment where the two of you are
making pancakes together beforeyour freaking wedding day.
And it's so incredible.
And yeah, I don't know.
And yeah, so the element ofstorytelling is a really big
part of it as well, and I hearthat all the time too.
Anna, I hear people I don't needgetting ready photos and it
(18:09):
always makes me really sad.
Obviously, I'm not going to, I'mgonna try to inspire them to
even give me 10 minutes of, ofthe pre moments, which, you
know, is, is not a ton of time.
But just to be able to kind ofstart the story where the story
actually started, you know,instead of just like, we're at
the ceremony site, how did weget here?
(18:30):
You know?
Um, so yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, no, a hundred percent.
So yeah, like on that note nowthat we're hopefully starting
to, you know, convince people alittle bit, um, yeah, I think it
would just be so fun for us tolike, help people kind of like
(18:52):
come up with some ideas or, youknow, honestly just like
brainstorm, like what are somefun things that you could do
that, that kind of reflect youso, Take it away.
Yeah.
Yay.
So before I give you likeactual, like brass tack ideas,
I'd love to kind of start withlike a, a couple of questions to
(19:13):
kind of get you and your partnerin the space of like thinking
about, um, you know, what kindof activities are for us, what
could we do on our wedding day,things like that.
So, I'd love to ask, like, firstand foremost I'd like to set
the, you know, set thefoundation like by asking my
couples like, What is theultimate favorite adventure the
two of you have had together?
And this question is one of myfavorites because it really
(19:35):
gives me like a window into thetype of adventure that they like
to do, the kind of activitiesthat fire them up.
The ones that are the most like.
Core memories for them as acouple, because if we can tap
into that and bring some elementof that into their wedding day,
I think that's where the magicreally happens, because they're,
not only are they reliving anexperience or an adventure that
(19:56):
they already loved before, butthey're bringing that into their
wedding day and they're makinganother core memory of that
thing that they loved to do.
And it's funny because like.
Adventure in the traditionalsense is like what, you know,
how I got introduced to it toois like hiking up a mountain or
you know, doing these like.
Helicopter rides in Alaska, likethings like that, which is
(20:18):
awesome.
And I, you know, definitelyagree that that is an epic way
to spend your wedding day.
But there's also those littlemicro adventures and activities
that I think can be someaningful for people.
You know, whether it's just likestopping a coffee shop or going
to a brewery, or, you know,having a little pocket of time
to paint if you're an artist or,you know, just these little
things that you can kind ofbring into your day, um, that
(20:41):
can make it more meaningful.
And then, so, That kind of leadsme into the next question I ask
couples is like, what issomething that the two of you
love to do together on theregular?
It can be as simple as making acup of coffee every morning, or
playing cards or playing videogames or like what is something
that the two of you do, or atradition that you might have,
you know, made up in yourrelationship.
(21:03):
And it can be just like sillystuff too.
It doesn't have to be this like,You know, huge, big picture,
epic adventure.
It can just be like we always doX when we go travel or we always
do whatever, you know.
Um, and that's like a reallygood way to kind of tie in, you
know, you and your couples, oryou and your couples, you and
(21:23):
your partners.
Mm-hmm.
Like traditions or things that,you know, habits that the two of
you have together or just, youknow, different things.
You know, bringing that intoyour day, I guess.
And then the final question thatI love to kind of ask my couples
before really giving them likea, Big idea list, um, of
activities that they could do,um, is if you could literally do
(21:45):
anything, literally anythingsky's the limit, what would that
be?
What would you, what would yoube so fired up to do that you're
like, hell yes.
I have no limits.
This is what me and my partnerare gonna do.
Because that's also a reallygood window into like what
inspires them.
So we have basically whatadventure that they love.
(22:05):
Then what the everyday normaladventure looks like together.
And then the.
Biggest inspirational, like bigpossibility.
Like is it flying off to Paris?
Is it what, what is it like,huge, huge life kind of thing.
Um, Anyway, so basically thatkind of leads me into then when
I have kind of a, like a, youknow, an idea of like what
(22:29):
really fires them up and whattheir kind of adventure is,
because everybody has adifferent idea of adventure.
Like for some people it might begoing to the hardware shore.
And getting materials for ahouse, they're flipping, you
know?
Mm-hmm.
And for some people it's, yeah,for some people it might be just
like fishing by a lake, or forother people it might be hiking
that 14,000 foot mountain andwedding gear.
(22:50):
Like what's their, you know,what's your level of adventure
and what.
Do you and your partner love todo together?
Um, but some, some actual likeideas, um, if we're looking at
like the traditional sense ofadventure, there's always like
hiking, camping, paddleboarding,kayaking, you know, things like
that.
Horseback riding, cliff jumping,swimming.
(23:11):
Relaxing by a fire, likechilling some hot springs like
before or after.
You know, like it's a reallygood way to start your day and a
really good day.
Like really good way to kind ofround out the day relaxing hot
air balloon.
You can go hammock hanging, likeglacier climbing, zip lining,
rock climbing.
Basically any kind of adventurethat you do anyway, you can
(23:33):
incorporate into your weddingday.
Or up Monday.
Um, and then to kind of dialthings back a little bit and
some more of those kind of maybeunconventional activity ideas or
adventures is like making timeto have just like your favorite
drink together, whether it'scoffee, tea, beer, you know,
basically whatever that lookslike.
And just having literally like afive to 10 minute pocket of time
(23:57):
where the two of you are justenjoying your favorite beverages
together on your wedding day andhaving that, like, that peace
and that.
That intentionality behind justtaking time for each other on
one of your biggest daystogether.
You know, um, it could be likefive minutes of journaling or
writing letters to your futureselves for your, you know, for
(24:18):
your like one year weddinganniversary.
You're recording a voice memolike, Hey babe, you know, I'm so
excited.
I'm sitting next to you rightnow.
Or I'm, I.
See you peeking behind a treeover there recording your voice
memo.
And I would just love to tellyou, this is how I'm feeling and
all the things, right?
Like how special would that be?
I'm getting chills.
How special would that be?
Like your one year anniversaryand you just like pass each
other, each other's phones andyou listen to your voice and
(24:41):
listen.
Or sorry, listen to their voicetelling you all these things
that they're feeling andthinking, you know, before the
you two get married or after thetwo of you just got married or
some part of that day, right?
I could go on forever, but asthis landing.
Does that make sense?
Yes.
No.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
You mentioning that whole likevoice memo thing or something,
(25:01):
like, I feel like I would justcry if someone did that.
Oh my gosh.
That's so sweet.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I, I really love, I don'tknow if this is exactly how you
worded it, like what's yourlevel of adventure?
Is that what you said?
Basically?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, like.
I, I think that's, that's socool.
(25:23):
And like, feels like soinclusive because Yeah.
You could do the other thing toois that like, with any of those
things, like you could just likebe in nature, you know?
Like it also doesn't have to belike a destination.
So Yeah, I just, I love that youkind of point out the fact that
(25:46):
it can be, On a spectrum.
Right.
Um, yeah, and I kind of wantedto just like, like Cass has
given us some amazing ideas.
Like, I'm not even gonna try to,you know, add on to that and,
um, maybe we can stick some ofthese ideas in the show notes if
(26:08):
you're comfortable with that.
Yes.
Um, so you guys can all look atall those awesome things she
just talked about.
And I sort of just wanted tolike point out that because a
lot of folks listening here arepart of the L g BT Q community.
Um, it's not like, obviously anyand all of the things you wanna
(26:30):
do are open to like any of thethings that Cass mentioned are
like a great idea.
And also because you're part ofthis really like special
community, like I just wanted tothrow out some things that are
like, Could, you know, kind ofgive a no, a, what am I saying?
A nod to that.
(26:52):
Um, so yeah, like a couple ofthings I've seen is.
Sort of relating back to likewhy every wedding should be like
a little bit queer is kind ofthis idea that a lot of queer
weddings, they're just likealready different by nature,
right?
So like something I've seen alot of couples do is that like
(27:13):
they'll have like a little popof color in their outfits, you
know, like versus one of themhaving to wear white and one of
them having to wear black orwhatever, like throwing in a pop
of color or you know, throwingin some.
Some elements of like the prideflag or things like that.
Um, another fun thing wouldlike, honestly, literally, if
(27:36):
you just like do it in the monthof June, like just being able to
say that it's sort of like aversion of you celebrating pride
and kind of joining in with thecommunity that way.
Um, and I think something that'sa very common theme in this
podcast too is like, Supportinglike other queer folks.
(27:56):
Um, and so if in the event thatyou do need some kind of vendor
in your day, whether it's aflorist or a chef, or, um, yeah,
maybe you do wanna like grab abeer and go to a concert or
something, like are there likequeer folks in those spaces that
you can support and also connectwith?
(28:18):
Um, I think that would bereally, really fun.
And, um, Yeah, honestly, I knowlike a lot of those aren't
necessarily like activities, butjust sort of like pointing out
the fact that like you get tokind of decide like I know for
(28:38):
me it's a really special feelingto like be a part of this
community now and feeling that,you know, that support from the
community and also, Getting tofeel myself.
And so similar to the leveladventure, I think that the
level that you want to kind ofincorporate this identity is
(28:59):
fully up to you.
Like if you don't really wannado anything like that, is
totally okay.
And there's also like super funways to like, maybe you're
literally just like pack yourpride flag and like get to take
a fun photo with it.
Um, or like, Maybe the inside oflike the cupcakes you eat are
(29:19):
rainbow.
Like, there's so many littlethings and big things you can
incorporate into your day that Ifeel like whatever makes you
feel celebrated and makes youfeel like you can be proud of
who you are, like that's whatyou should go for.
So yeah, just kind of like a funway to sort of tie those two
(29:40):
things together of like, yeah,do whatever activity you want.
And also like, are there ways.
That you can sort of make itfeel more true to you.
Settle.
Yeah.
Heck yeah.
Those are all such good ideas.
I love, thank you.
(30:01):
Yeah.
Um, yeah, so thank you so muchagain for like sharing all of
your activity ideas.
I feel like we're just, peopleare gonna walk away with so many
ideas.
Um, And I know we've sort oflike touched on a lot of this,
but kind of just like your last,your last sort of direct line of
(30:26):
communication with a couple andthinking like, Hey, we wanna do
something that's a littledifferent and outside of the
box.
Like what would you say to them?
Ooh, that's a great question.
I have lots of thoughts aroundthat.
Um, I think the first thing thatkind of pops up to my mind is,
Do what you want, not what youfeel you have to do or should
(30:48):
do, or any of those, like reallyin the box thinking, um, kind of
thought processes.
I is, it's really easy to gethung up on things that you
should do or, you know, I don'tknow.
It's like those social norms,right?
Like even if you are choosingto, you know, break off from
those social norms and do like asmaller elopement or, um, you
(31:11):
know, a small wedding or even abig wedding, um, but wanting to
approach it in a little bit of adifferent way, it can be really
easy to get lost in those.
Well, we should invite thisperson, or we should do this,
or, you know, we should savemoney and we should do, right?
Like, like, fuck that.
And lean into what feels thebest for the two of you.
And something that I always tellyou know, or encourage people is
(31:33):
to just really think about thebest fucking day you've ever had
and infuse that into yourwedding day.
You know, like think of all thethings that you would love to
do.
Write it on a piece of paper ifyou have to, just to like
organize your thoughts and.
See how you can make it happen.
Make like kind of reverseengineer your day and like, this
(31:53):
is what we want and then how canwe make all of this happen
basically, and, and plan anactivity.
Plan something fun, becauseotherwise it's gonna feel like
you're going from one step tothe next step to the next step.
And then it's the end of yourday, you're married.
That's awesome.
But it's gonna feel so much moreexciting.
Meaningful, intentional, all ofthe things.
If you find a way that you canconnect even deeper to each
(32:17):
other and create a core ormultiple core memories on your
wedding day and book more time,don't put, don't put yourself in
this limiting space where youlimit your time to like two
hours or four hours.
Really talk to whoever it isthat you choose to have as your
media team to document your dayReally.
(32:37):
Really speak to them on, on thelevel of how can you best serve
me by telling our story.
Mm-hmm.
And really think about it.
Like, I know it's really easyfor me as a photographer to be
like book all the time, right?
Like it's mm-hmm.
But it's not a money grab.
I promise you that.
It's not, it's, I've done thislong enough to know that an hour
or two hours or even three hoursis not enough time for any
(32:58):
wedding day e as as simple as itcould possibly be.
Even courthouse weddings, if youwanna have a day.
Where the two of you have timeto actually be yourselves, get
comfortable on camera, getcomfortable with each other.
Get comfortable with the personwho's documenting the date that
already takes like an hour ortwo.
Imagine you're meeting astranger in a coffee house, and
(33:19):
then expect them to photograph.
Intimate photos of the two ofyou.
That's not how it works.
You know, there's gotta be thatwarmup period where not only are
you comfortable with thatperson, but you're also
comfortable with beingphotographed.
Because then the more time that,you know, I've seen with couples
that I've had with couples, eventhough it's extroverted couples,
right, that are like, we loveour photo taken, there's still
(33:39):
this warmup period of getting toknow how they interact with each
other.
You know, getting to know how,you know they feel with me.
Things like that.
We have to figure each otherout, right?
And, and.
The real emotions and thegenuine moments happen after
like four hours together, fivehours together.
You know?
That's just the nature of howhumans interact with each other
(34:01):
and get comfortable, you know,and I have a lot of, I'm
introverted and I have a lot ofintroverted couples that can
take a little bit longer.
You know, we can do all thephone calls and all the Zoom
calls.
We want to try to get to knoweach other and we do on some
level.
But when you're.
Thrown into this, this day wherethere's already a lot of
emotions about, you know, nervesof getting married and nerves of
(34:22):
everything's gonna work out.
Maybe we're nervous about theweather.
Then we have this basic strangerphotographing us, like in a very
vulnerable day, in a veryvulnerable space, and in a very
vulnerable way.
So, yeah.
Long story short, get to knowyour photographers.
Get to know your media team.
Spend a little extra time, um,as much as you really think you
(34:46):
can, you know, accommodate.
I understand that everyone's gotdifferent levels of, of, you
know, costs attributed to theirbudget for their wedding day and
things like that.
And I know one of the bigpressure points about elopements
is sometimes people do that, youknow, for the cost cuz it is a
lot cheaper and things likethat.
And I totally respect that, butI definitely feel, um, you know,
having a little bit more time.
(35:06):
To experience your day withyour, you know, with your media
team to document.
That is gonna be an incredibleexperience for everyone, cuz we
can tell your story better andyou get to relive your story,
you know?
Yes.
Yay.
Yes.
Yeah.
Book the 12 hours.
Yes.
And uh, like to your point too,of making the most of it, like
(35:27):
make the most of having theopportunity to just like freely
love out loud, like Yes.
I think that's part of why sensecoming out and since, you know,
focusing my business to servethe community.
I have been so drawn to ELObecause it's like you.
You have this opportunity toexactly like you've been saying,
(35:50):
be full yourself.
You know, be around either knowpeople or the people that you
truly like, trust and feelyourself around.
And like that is such a rare andbeautiful thing.
So like, make the most of havingthe freedom to love out loud and
like just, you know, not havingany like worries or concerns
(36:11):
about it.
And like have that documented,like you deserve that.
So yes, yes, yes.
Oh, I love that so much.
Love out loud.
So freaking lutely.
Oh, I resonate with that verymuch.
Yes.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
I feel like, I don't know, Ifeel like we.
(36:34):
Just convinced the whole worldto elope.
I mean, honestly, I don't, Idon't know how you could not
want to.
Um, but yeah, thank you so muchtruly for, for sharing your
experiences and ideas and wisdomwith us.
Um, yeah, I would love to justlike wrap up now by like getting
to know you quickly.
(36:56):
Um, so yeah, like what would yousay is your favorite way to
spend a day?
Oh gosh.
Um, so I'm kind of, I'm kind ofa nerd, so it's a toss up
between being out in nature orlike playing the new Zelda, like
playing, uh, if I'm being told.
And, and sometimes I'll eventake my switch outside in nature
(37:19):
so I can do both to both worlds.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Love that so much.
Um, since you're such anadventurous person, is there any
like place on your bucket listyou're still really wanting to
go or shoot at?
Yeah, actually quite a fewplaces.
Um, but top of my mind is likeScotland or like the Italian
(37:41):
Dolomites are ugh, ugh.
It would just be unreal.
Yes, I like, yeah, the greeneryof Scotland and the moodiness,
like I'm all about that.
And then also like the, theDolomites, because you know,
they're giant freaking might,right?
Yes.
You not, right?
Yeah, for sure.
Oh, I, I agree 100%.
(38:04):
Um, yeah.
Last one just to kinda, youknow, throw you fur a loop.
What's your favorite color ofthe rainbow?
Oh gosh.
Oh, I don't know.
Um, purple probably.
Yeah.
Good choice.
Yeah, good choice.
Wow.
Well, thank you again, Cass.
(38:25):
Um, I will link all of yourstuff in the show notes, but
where can people find you ifthey wanna check you out?
Yeah, so I think we're oneverything, um, at narrow leaf
photography.
Perfect.
Yay.
Beautiful.
Yes, and more of the story.
The Midwest is actually prettycool.
(38:46):
So come check us out reallybeloved, thank you so much for
joining us this week, and wewill see you all here back next
week.
Clearly beloved, welcome back tothis week's episode.
This is Anna, your host, ihi,her pronouns, and today I have
with me pass from narrow leafphotography, which I'm so
excited about.
Like I was just thinking aboutbefore we hopped on.
I was like, Wow, like this ispart of my job.
(00:25):
I get to just like chat withlike cool, adventurous people
and ask them questions and likelearn about your life and your
passions and also like, Helppeople listening along the way.
Like, what?
That's so cool.
So yeah, thank you so much for,for being with us here today.
(00:47):
I would love if you couldintroduce yourself, your
pronouns, and Yeah, just tell usa little bit about you.
Awesome.
Yay.
Well, I'm excited to be hereand, um, yeah, so I'm Cass.
I use she her pronouns as well.
Um, I started kind of myphotography journey quite a long
time ago.
I'm gonna age myself here alittle bit.
(01:08):
Um, but, so I did my firstwedding in 2006, and from there,
I.
Did this kind of photographything like part-time, always
knowing it was something Iwanted to do full-time.
I did everything from likefamilies, babies, real estate,
basically anything anyone wouldgive me a dollar for.
I was like, heck yes, I have acamera.
I can do that.
Um, And then I think it wasaround like 2017 ish is when I
(01:32):
started to really kind of dialin on weddings and couples and
things like that.
Um, with like an adventurousapproach to like their
engagement sessions, familysessions and things like that.
And then I was introduced tothis concept of.
Adventure weddings and I waslike completely blown away.
I was like scrolling outInstagram and this, like I just,
(01:52):
I still remember it like to thisday it was like this mountain
scape and they were like clearlyat the top of a mountain.
Like they had to have been like14,000 feet up or something.
And it was like this couple.
In wedding attire.
And I was just like taken back.
I was like, people do this.
Like how is this, how is thislike real life?
And I remember like dreamingabout it, but being like a
Midwest person, I was like, oh,that would be cool.
(02:14):
One day maybe whatever.
We don't really have, you know,views like that here.
Right.
And um, I took a workshop in2019 and actually like kind of
learned how to like.
Market and, um, move towardsthis like vision that I had with
like adventure, activity-based,experience-based wedding days
versus like the traditional, youknow, barn wedding with like 300
(02:38):
people.
And nothing against that,that's, you know, it's, it's for
some people, but it was startingto really, um, have you come
into a clear view that thatwasn't necessarily what, uh,
like spoke to me anymore andwhat I wanted to be a part of.
Um, and so, yeah, I guess Istarted kind of.
Nicheing down into this kind ofadventure based, um, thing and
(03:00):
doing a lot of traveling andhiking and activities.
You know, we've done like paddleboarding sessions, we've done
cliff jumping.
We've been a part of like, iceclimbing in Alaska and just like
all these different activitiesand, and adventures that people
have been able to like, youknow, reflect like their true
relationship in.
(03:20):
Their wedding day as well.
Like if they're hikers, theywanna hike on their wedding day,
it makes sense.
Right.
Um, this is a really long answertoo.
I just realized.
I apologize.
I'm almost done.
I'll wrap it up.
So basically I kind of got, Istarted to feel the burnout in
2020.
I think all of us got affectedfrom like the pandemic and stuff
(03:41):
like that.
And I started to kind of realizethat, you know, traveling is
great and I love it.
I still 100%.
Love traveling for, forelopement and weddings and going
on adventures out westespecially.
Um, but I started to realize itwasn't really attainable, like
full-time.
We were traveling from onedestination to another and then
flying to another, and thenfinally flying home for a week
and then like flying out again.
(04:02):
Um, and I decided to reallystart to build a adventure
activity based business.
In the Midwest and that wassomething that, you know, not a
lot of people were doing.
And I had this like mental blockof like, we don't have mountains
here in the traditional sense.
We don't have like theadventurous places.
But when I started to actuallythink about like how could I do
this same concept I was doingout west here at home, I started
(04:26):
to realize we do have all that.
The Midwest has so manybeautiful places and spaces and
viewpoints and more seclusionand just like so much more.
Um, You know, greenery andforest and a really diverse, I
guess, diverse landscape here athome.
And so, yeah, that's, that'sbasically what I do in a very
long-winded nutshell.
(04:46):
Yes.
Yeah.
No, I love it.
Yeah, no, no need to apologize.
It's, it's super awesome to hearyour passions and, um, Yeah, I
mean that's how we got connectedwas, you know, kind of having
those same hopes and dreams forthe Midwest because I mean,
(05:07):
yeah, I feel the same way whereit's like, of course, yeah.
Like if you wanna do somethingin California, that's awesome.
And also, like there are placeshere that like not a lot of
people know about, uh, or like,Yeah, it just, the Midwest could
honestly use some hyping up.
(05:27):
So on that note, um, I thinkit's really cool that we're kind
of trying to showcase that theMidwest is cool that there are
options and stuff like that.
So I'm kind of curious from yourpoint of view, like what do you
think.
Makes the midwife so great andlike a great option.
(05:47):
Yeah, that's such a greatquestion.
Um, so first of all, the onething that I really love about
like the Midwest being an optionfor people is it's more like
accessible, um, in the fact thatnot only do you have like an
easier permit process for a lotof places, Currently this could
change, depends on when you'relistening, but right now it's,
it's usually not very crowded,like national parks or, or
(06:10):
places out west.
Um, you know, we're not as like,affected by like the photography
boom that's kind of happeningwhere you, you know, go to a,
like, you know, Zion NationalPark and I, we did a wedding
there and we sell like anotherone and, you know, in the same
space and stuff like that.
So you have more of that like,Privacy, um, in beautiful
places.
And I, one thing that I kind ofalready touched on is like the,
(06:32):
the vastness of the differentlandscapes.
You know, we have like 300 footcliffs and we have, you know,
the, the Great Lakes and we havesand dunes out in Michigan, and
like, there's just like allthese different.
Cool places and, and I just lovelike exploring kind of my
backyard and finding all those,because for the longest time I
was so focused on the west.
(06:53):
Like especially Alaska is like ahuge place that I love and kept
finding myself exploring andgoing back to repeatedly year
after year.
Um, And instead I started tokind of focus in on home and
finding those different places.
And, and there's, there's this,I don't know if you, if you all
have heard this, the listeners,but like there's this Minnesota
nice concept, which is so true.
(07:14):
And the further north you go,the nicer people are and the
more like humbling you feelbecause there's like no Walmarts
and there's like, you know, it'sjust these small little, some
people would call'em sleepytowns, but I, I love them.
I don't think that, you know,People can always find that
experience like in bigger citiesor, you know, and, and we do
have the metropolitan area.
(07:35):
We do have like Minneapolis andSt.
Paul that's nearby, which isaccessible for any guests that
would maybe wanna fly in, thingslike that.
But then you can just get inyour car and drive and find.
Seclusion and get lost in theforest, or go to cool harbor
towns, or go to museums or ridea train or like float planes.
Like there's just so manydifferent really cool kind of
adventures in our area with nota lot of people.
(07:58):
Yes, that's so true.
Like it's.
I mean, it's certainly, it's notto say that like we don't have
busy seasons or have like timesor places.
So like, you know, hopefullythat's like a little bit of
social proof, like people stillcome here, it's just not, yeah,
it's definitely not the same aslike the coast, which I think is
(08:21):
probably why honestly peopleassume that the Midwest is like
not great, is just because we'relike all landlocked and
whatever, but.
I don't know if you kind of likesquint your eyes a little bit,
like superior is basically theocean, so like, yeah.
Yeah.
No, that's super cool.
Um, yeah, so for anyonelistening, add the Midwest to
(08:45):
your, to your search, um, butyeah, I, that's part of the
reason I really wanted to bringyou on here today is cuz I
remember coming across here, saya while ago, and, um, You had
talked about this idea of like amulti-day elopement and you
(09:05):
know, had all these ideas forlike cool activities and things
to do, and I think that'ssomething that while elopement
are starting to catch on moreand become more normalized,
they're still definitely a bigquestion of like, what do you
even do?
Like.
Or, you know, we only need youfor an hour or something like
(09:27):
that.
Um, so I wanted to have you onto kind of talk about some ideas
and things like that, and then,um, because you're such an
awesome ally and support thecommunity, we can also kind of
chat through ways that maybefolks from the community here
listening could sort of add aflare of that into their day as
(09:49):
well.
So, Let's just dive right intoit.
Yay.
I love it.
I'm probably gonna give anotherlong-winded idea list here, but
yeah, so for anyone listening,if you are considering doing
like a small wedding orelopement and thinking that like
one to two hours would be plentyof time, I hear you.
Like when I, when I try to putmyself in like my couple's shoes
and I think about like, youknow, what does an hour or two
(10:13):
of photography sound, you know,Photography time sound like that
sounds like a lot.
That sounds like kind ofmiserable intention filling and
being like, I don't wanna be onfor a full, solid two hours.
Right.
But when you really like dial itback and you really think about
like the different things thatyou're actually going to be
doing, it's not like a two hourphoto shoot or a four hour photo
shoot or an eight hour photoshoot, you're, you are living
(10:35):
and breathing.
And adventuring and exploringand having activities and you're
getting freaking married, soeverything's gonna take a little
bit longer than you anticipate.
You know, the ceremony you mightthink is only gonna be like five
minutes, but then you are, youknow, you have to think about
the time getting into the car,driving into your ceremony site,
getting out, you know, walkingto the ceremony site.
Maybe you have to use therestroom, grab a snack, you
(10:55):
might, you know, there's a lotof different things, um, that
kind of goes into that section,which is clearly longer than
like five minutes.
And the thing that I always tellcouples, You know, that are on
the fence and thinking like, oh,we really just need you for like
two hours.
Let's ceremony and some photosafter.
Right.
You know, what I always tellpeople is, you know, you chose
to have a small wedding orelopement intentionally.
You chose to do it because it isa more stress free, you know,
(11:17):
more relaxed, more intimatesituation.
And so the last thing you wannado is put time restraints into
an hour.
Like how do you fit a wholewedding day into an hour or two?
Right?
And you're, you know, in orderto honor, like, not only.
You know, honor your weddingday, but honor you and your
partner.
I always feel.
That adding a little extra timeallows you to be relaxed.
(11:38):
It allows you to not have to belooking at the clock being like,
oh, oh no, we only have fivemore minutes.
We need to try to fit all thisin.
Or, you know, things like thatbecause that's what people did
in a traditional wedding day.
And you know, and, and you hadto do that because in a
traditional wedding day, if likeone thing was delayed the entire
day was.
Fucked.
But when it comes to like yourelopement and stuff, you know,
(11:58):
you have the freedom and thechoice to do things differently
and you chose to do a yourwedding day differently.
Therefore you kind of need toapproach it in a little bit
different mindset, you know, andthat if you wanna have, you
know, An actual experience andyou wanna actually remember your
day and you wanna actually likehonor your partner and actually
have time and space to be in themoment.
(12:22):
You have to actually kind of puttime in for breaks and for those
moments, instead of just beinglike, this is a block for the
ceremony, this is a block forphotos and we're done,
basically.
Um, does that track, does thatmake sense?
Feel like I could talk about whyyou should add more time in two
days and.
Five, like even four hours isn'tenough, but I always have like a
(12:45):
minimum of four hours just to,to work with me as a
photographer and as anadventure, um, you know,
adventure brand that focusesheavily on experiences over just
kind of, Getting the photos andmoving on.
Um, you know, and, and eventhen, I feel like four hours
isn't always enough.
There's this niche situationwhere maybe you're only doing
(13:06):
one small adventure that doesn'trequire a whole lot of movement
or like hiking or driving oranything like that.
Um, where I think four hours isokay, but realistically, 6, 8,
10 hour days, 12 hour days even,which I know sounds crazy.
He's like, what do you do inthat time?
But you're getting ready withyour partner.
You're maybe having breakfasttogether.
Maybe making coffee or pancakes,you know, and then you're moving
(13:28):
into getting ready together.
And then you're moving into, youknow, driving to your ceremony
site.
And then you're having thisbeautiful ceremony where you say
your vows to each other, andthen you have this little pocket
of time afterwards, just the twoof you, you know, and you can
even have a section where youhave.
100% private vows where you evenkick me or your photographer,
your immediate team out and say,we just wanna have a moment
(13:50):
together.
So then you, what you're doingis you're actually allowing the
time and space to be in themoment and you're beat
intentional about it.
And that way you'll actually beable to remember your day.
Cuz it's often that people thatonly have like one to two hours
of coverage, they're like, itflew by, I barely remember
anything.
You know, it was kind ofstressful and stuff like that,
which sounds a lot.
Like a traditional wedding whereagain, I used to hear that time
(14:13):
and time again.
Early in my career, I woulddeliver galleries.
They're like, I didn't evenremember that happening.
When did that happen?
How?
How am I in this photo?
I don't even remember doing thisthing.
So, yeah.
Yes, absolutely no, like, Amillion times, yes.
To everything you said, becauseI think you touched on like
(14:34):
intentionality a lot, right?
Like if people are choosing todo a small wedding or elopement,
they're usually doing it withlike intention and like, you
know.
Yeah.
It's gonna be like you're doingthis because you want a
different experience and youwanna be able to like, enjoy,
embrace, and remember thatexperience.
(14:56):
So like, Yeah, 100%.
Um, I also think, like,something I've been thinking
about recently is like, I kindof shoot like a mix of
traditional and elopement andlike in both cases, a lot of
times I like hear couples beinglike, whoa.
Like, we don't need any gettingready photos, or we don't need
(15:19):
X, or we don't need Y, or blahblah blah.
Like they're just like, it's soeasy for people to get
hyper-focused on like, this iswhat we need, this is what we
don't need.
Like it turns into like achecklist, whatever.
And I don't know, I've just beenthinking about it so much
recently cuz I'm like, yeah, Ithink it's maybe an like a
(15:42):
different concept for people tothink about, like, Oh, you know,
getting ready photos, like, Idon't need that.
But you also don't need like anice vanilla oat milk latte.
But is it great?
Is it nice?
Does it make you happy?
Like, and also, yeah, like maybeyou're not gonna like two weeks
(16:03):
from now be like, wow, Iremember this like one specific
like, you know, latte, but likeit was really nice having it and
I enjoyed doing that and like,Obviously with photos you will
get to remember it because it'sbeing documented.
But yeah, I just think that'ssuch a cool concept to think
(16:24):
like, like the thing youmentioned of like making
pancakes with your partner.
Do I like, need quote unquotephotos of that with my partner,
but like, no, but what Iabsolutely like.
Love it, because that's also areflection of our love story
(16:44):
equally as much as the ceremony.
Absolutely.
So, yeah, no, I, I 100% agreewith everything you said.
Yes.
I'm so glad that you touched onthat too, is it's like sometimes
those photos in the, in themorning of the getting ready can
actually be some of the most.
Emotionally charged images.
(17:05):
And it's because, you know, Imean, I can't say exactly why,
but I feel like it's because,um, you know, the nerves are
pretty high, excitement,nervousness, things like that,
you know, and it's these momentsbefore the big day.
Right.
And it's, it's, it'sstorytelling.
Like that's where thestorytelling, that's where the
story starts is them, you know,you and your partner waking up.
(17:27):
Making pancakes together, youknow, we photographed that and
moving into, again, like thegetting ready photos and things
like that, and it's just thesedifferent moments and these
different pockets of time that.
Immortalizes the full day.
So when you're, you know, 50years down the road, you're
looking back at your gallery ofimages and you remember every
fucking moment perfectly becauseyou have it documented every
(17:49):
single moment and it cantransport you back in time and
transport you back to thatmoment where the two of you are
making pancakes together beforeyour freaking wedding day.
And it's so incredible.
And yeah, I don't know.
And yeah, so the element ofstorytelling is a really big
part of it as well, and I hearthat all the time too.
Anna, I hear people I don't needgetting ready photos and it
(18:09):
always makes me really sad.
Obviously, I'm not going to, I'mgonna try to inspire them to
even give me 10 minutes of, ofthe pre moments, which, you
know, is, is not a ton of time.
But just to be able to kind ofstart the story where the story
actually started, you know,instead of just like, we're at
the ceremony site, how did weget here?
(18:30):
You know?
Um, so yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, no, a hundred percent.
So yeah, like on that note nowthat we're hopefully starting
to, you know, convince people alittle bit, um, yeah, I think it
would just be so fun for us tolike, help people kind of like
(18:52):
come up with some ideas or, youknow, honestly just like
brainstorm, like what are somefun things that you could do
that, that kind of reflect youso, Take it away.
Yeah.
Yay.
So before I give you likeactual, like brass tack ideas,
I'd love to kind of start withlike a, a couple of questions to
(19:13):
kind of get you and your partnerin the space of like thinking
about, um, you know, what kindof activities are for us, what
could we do on our wedding day,things like that.
So, I'd love to ask, like, firstand foremost I'd like to set
the, you know, set thefoundation like by asking my
couples like, What is theultimate favorite adventure the
two of you have had together?
And this question is one of myfavorites because it really
(19:35):
gives me like a window into thetype of adventure that they like
to do, the kind of activitiesthat fire them up.
The ones that are the most like.
Core memories for them as acouple, because if we can tap
into that and bring some elementof that into their wedding day,
I think that's where the magicreally happens, because they're,
not only are they reliving anexperience or an adventure that
(19:56):
they already loved before, butthey're bringing that into their
wedding day and they're makinganother core memory of that
thing that they loved to do.
And it's funny because like.
Adventure in the traditionalsense is like what, you know,
how I got introduced to it toois like hiking up a mountain or
you know, doing these like.
Helicopter rides in Alaska, likethings like that, which is
(20:18):
awesome.
And I, you know, definitelyagree that that is an epic way
to spend your wedding day.
But there's also those littlemicro adventures and activities
that I think can be someaningful for people.
You know, whether it's just likestopping a coffee shop or going
to a brewery, or, you know,having a little pocket of time
to paint if you're an artist or,you know, just these little
things that you can kind ofbring into your day, um, that
(20:41):
can make it more meaningful.
And then, so, That kind of leadsme into the next question I ask
couples is like, what issomething that the two of you
love to do together on theregular?
It can be as simple as making acup of coffee every morning, or
playing cards or playing videogames or like what is something
that the two of you do, or atradition that you might have,
you know, made up in yourrelationship.
(21:03):
And it can be just like sillystuff too.
It doesn't have to be this like,You know, huge, big picture,
epic adventure.
It can just be like we always doX when we go travel or we always
do whatever, you know.
Um, and that's like a reallygood way to kind of tie in, you
know, you and your couples, oryou and your couples, you and
(21:23):
your partners.
Mm-hmm.
Like traditions or things that,you know, habits that the two of
you have together or just, youknow, different things.
You know, bringing that intoyour day, I guess.
And then the final question thatI love to kind of ask my couples
before really giving them likea, Big idea list, um, of
activities that they could do,um, is if you could literally do
(21:45):
anything, literally anythingsky's the limit, what would that
be?
What would you, what would yoube so fired up to do that you're
like, hell yes.
I have no limits.
This is what me and my partnerare gonna do.
Because that's also a reallygood window into like what
inspires them.
So we have basically whatadventure that they love.
(22:05):
Then what the everyday normaladventure looks like together.
And then the.
Biggest inspirational, like bigpossibility.
Like is it flying off to Paris?
Is it what, what is it like,huge, huge life kind of thing.
Um, Anyway, so basically thatkind of leads me into then when
I have kind of a, like a, youknow, an idea of like what
(22:29):
really fires them up and whattheir kind of adventure is,
because everybody has adifferent idea of adventure.
Like for some people it might begoing to the hardware shore.
And getting materials for ahouse, they're flipping, you
know?
Mm-hmm.
And for some people it's, yeah,for some people it might be just
like fishing by a lake, or forother people it might be hiking
that 14,000 foot mountain andwedding gear.
(22:50):
Like what's their, you know,what's your level of adventure
and what.
Do you and your partner love todo together?
Um, but some, some actual likeideas, um, if we're looking at
like the traditional sense ofadventure, there's always like
hiking, camping, paddleboarding,kayaking, you know, things like
that.
Horseback riding, cliff jumping,swimming.
(23:11):
Relaxing by a fire, likechilling some hot springs like
before or after.
You know, like it's a reallygood way to start your day and a
really good day.
Like really good way to kind ofround out the day relaxing hot
air balloon.
You can go hammock hanging, likeglacier climbing, zip lining,
rock climbing.
Basically any kind of adventurethat you do anyway, you can
(23:33):
incorporate into your weddingday.
Or up Monday.
Um, and then to kind of dialthings back a little bit and
some more of those kind of maybeunconventional activity ideas or
adventures is like making timeto have just like your favorite
drink together, whether it'scoffee, tea, beer, you know,
basically whatever that lookslike.
And just having literally like afive to 10 minute pocket of time
(23:57):
where the two of you are justenjoying your favorite beverages
together on your wedding day andhaving that, like, that peace
and that.
That intentionality behind justtaking time for each other on
one of your biggest daystogether.
You know, um, it could be likefive minutes of journaling or
writing letters to your futureselves for your, you know, for
(24:18):
your like one year weddinganniversary.
You're recording a voice memolike, Hey babe, you know, I'm so
excited.
I'm sitting next to you rightnow.
Or I'm, I.
See you peeking behind a treeover there recording your voice
memo.
And I would just love to tellyou, this is how I'm feeling and
all the things, right?
Like how special would that be?
I'm getting chills.
How special would that be?
Like your one year anniversaryand you just like pass each
other, each other's phones andyou listen to your voice and
(24:41):
listen.
Or sorry, listen to their voicetelling you all these things
that they're feeling andthinking, you know, before the
you two get married or after thetwo of you just got married or
some part of that day, right?
I could go on forever, but asthis landing.
Does that make sense?
Yes.
No.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
You mentioning that whole likevoice memo thing or something,
(25:01):
like, I feel like I would justcry if someone did that.
Oh my gosh.
That's so sweet.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I, I really love, I don'tknow if this is exactly how you
worded it, like what's yourlevel of adventure?
Is that what you said?
Basically?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, like.
I, I think that's, that's socool.
(25:23):
And like, feels like soinclusive because Yeah.
You could do the other thing toois that like, with any of those
things, like you could just likebe in nature, you know?
Like it also doesn't have to belike a destination.
So Yeah, I just, I love that youkind of point out the fact that
(25:46):
it can be, On a spectrum.
Right.
Um, yeah, and I kind of wantedto just like, like Cass has
given us some amazing ideas.
Like, I'm not even gonna try to,you know, add on to that and,
um, maybe we can stick some ofthese ideas in the show notes if
(26:08):
you're comfortable with that.
Yes.
Um, so you guys can all look atall those awesome things she
just talked about.
And I sort of just wanted tolike point out that because a
lot of folks listening here arepart of the L g BT Q community.
Um, it's not like, obviously anyand all of the things you wanna
(26:30):
do are open to like any of thethings that Cass mentioned are
like a great idea.
And also because you're part ofthis really like special
community, like I just wanted tothrow out some things that are
like, Could, you know, kind ofgive a no, a, what am I saying?
A nod to that.
(26:52):
Um, so yeah, like a couple ofthings I've seen is.
Sort of relating back to likewhy every wedding should be like
a little bit queer is kind ofthis idea that a lot of queer
weddings, they're just likealready different by nature,
right?
So like something I've seen alot of couples do is that like
(27:13):
they'll have like a little popof color in their outfits, you
know, like versus one of themhaving to wear white and one of
them having to wear black orwhatever, like throwing in a pop
of color or you know, throwingin some.
Some elements of like the prideflag or things like that.
Um, another fun thing wouldlike, honestly, literally, if
(27:36):
you just like do it in the monthof June, like just being able to
say that it's sort of like aversion of you celebrating pride
and kind of joining in with thecommunity that way.
Um, and I think something that'sa very common theme in this
podcast too is like, Supportinglike other queer folks.
(27:56):
Um, and so if in the event thatyou do need some kind of vendor
in your day, whether it's aflorist or a chef, or, um, yeah,
maybe you do wanna like grab abeer and go to a concert or
something, like are there likequeer folks in those spaces that
you can support and also connectwith?
(28:18):
Um, I think that would bereally, really fun.
And, um, Yeah, honestly, I knowlike a lot of those aren't
necessarily like activities, butjust sort of like pointing out
the fact that like you get tokind of decide like I know for
(28:38):
me it's a really special feelingto like be a part of this
community now and feeling that,you know, that support from the
community and also, Getting tofeel myself.
And so similar to the leveladventure, I think that the
level that you want to kind ofincorporate this identity is
(28:59):
fully up to you.
Like if you don't really wannado anything like that, is
totally okay.
And there's also like super funways to like, maybe you're
literally just like pack yourpride flag and like get to take
a fun photo with it.
Um, or like, Maybe the inside oflike the cupcakes you eat are
(29:19):
rainbow.
Like, there's so many littlethings and big things you can
incorporate into your day that Ifeel like whatever makes you
feel celebrated and makes youfeel like you can be proud of
who you are, like that's whatyou should go for.
So yeah, just kind of like a funway to sort of tie those two
(29:40):
things together of like, yeah,do whatever activity you want.
And also like, are there ways.
That you can sort of make itfeel more true to you.
Settle.
Yeah.
Heck yeah.
Those are all such good ideas.
I love, thank you.
(30:01):
Yeah.
Um, yeah, so thank you so muchagain for like sharing all of
your activity ideas.
I feel like we're just, peopleare gonna walk away with so many
ideas.
Um, And I know we've sort oflike touched on a lot of this,
but kind of just like your last,your last sort of direct line of
(30:26):
communication with a couple andthinking like, Hey, we wanna do
something that's a littledifferent and outside of the
box.
Like what would you say to them?
Ooh, that's a great question.
I have lots of thoughts aroundthat.
Um, I think the first thing thatkind of pops up to my mind is,
Do what you want, not what youfeel you have to do or should
(30:48):
do, or any of those, like reallyin the box thinking, um, kind of
thought processes.
I is, it's really easy to gethung up on things that you
should do or, you know, I don'tknow.
It's like those social norms,right?
Like even if you are choosingto, you know, break off from
those social norms and do like asmaller elopement or, um, you
(31:11):
know, a small wedding or even abig wedding, um, but wanting to
approach it in a little bit of adifferent way, it can be really
easy to get lost in those.
Well, we should invite thisperson, or we should do this,
or, you know, we should savemoney and we should do, right?
Like, like, fuck that.
And lean into what feels thebest for the two of you.
And something that I always tellyou know, or encourage people is
(31:33):
to just really think about thebest fucking day you've ever had
and infuse that into yourwedding day.
You know, like think of all thethings that you would love to
do.
Write it on a piece of paper ifyou have to, just to like
organize your thoughts and.
See how you can make it happen.
Make like kind of reverseengineer your day and like, this
(31:53):
is what we want and then how canwe make all of this happen
basically, and, and plan anactivity.
Plan something fun, becauseotherwise it's gonna feel like
you're going from one step tothe next step to the next step.
And then it's the end of yourday, you're married.
That's awesome.
But it's gonna feel so much moreexciting.
Meaningful, intentional, all ofthe things.
If you find a way that you canconnect even deeper to each
(32:17):
other and create a core ormultiple core memories on your
wedding day and book more time,don't put, don't put yourself in
this limiting space where youlimit your time to like two
hours or four hours.
Really talk to whoever it isthat you choose to have as your
media team to document your dayReally.
(32:37):
Really speak to them on, on thelevel of how can you best serve
me by telling our story.
Mm-hmm.
And really think about it.
Like, I know it's really easyfor me as a photographer to be
like book all the time, right?
Like it's mm-hmm.
But it's not a money grab.
I promise you that.
It's not, it's, I've done thislong enough to know that an hour
or two hours or even three hoursis not enough time for any
(32:58):
wedding day e as as simple as itcould possibly be.
Even courthouse weddings, if youwanna have a day.
Where the two of you have timeto actually be yourselves, get
comfortable on camera, getcomfortable with each other.
Get comfortable with the personwho's documenting the date that
already takes like an hour ortwo.
Imagine you're meeting astranger in a coffee house, and
(33:19):
then expect them to photograph.
Intimate photos of the two ofyou.
That's not how it works.
You know, there's gotta be thatwarmup period where not only are
you comfortable with thatperson, but you're also
comfortable with beingphotographed.
Because then the more time that,you know, I've seen with couples
that I've had with couples, eventhough it's extroverted couples,
right, that are like, we loveour photo taken, there's still
(33:39):
this warmup period of getting toknow how they interact with each
other.
You know, getting to know how,you know they feel with me.
Things like that.
We have to figure each otherout, right?
And, and.
The real emotions and thegenuine moments happen after
like four hours together, fivehours together.
You know?
That's just the nature of howhumans interact with each other
(34:01):
and get comfortable, you know,and I have a lot of, I'm
introverted and I have a lot ofintroverted couples that can
take a little bit longer.
You know, we can do all thephone calls and all the Zoom
calls.
We want to try to get to knoweach other and we do on some
level.
But when you're.
Thrown into this, this day wherethere's already a lot of
emotions about, you know, nervesof getting married and nerves of
(34:22):
everything's gonna work out.
Maybe we're nervous about theweather.
Then we have this basic strangerphotographing us, like in a very
vulnerable day, in a veryvulnerable space, and in a very
vulnerable way.
So, yeah.
Long story short, get to knowyour photographers.
Get to know your media team.
Spend a little extra time, um,as much as you really think you
(34:46):
can, you know, accommodate.
I understand that everyone's gotdifferent levels of, of, you
know, costs attributed to theirbudget for their wedding day and
things like that.
And I know one of the bigpressure points about elopements
is sometimes people do that, youknow, for the cost cuz it is a
lot cheaper and things likethat.
And I totally respect that, butI definitely feel, um, you know,
having a little bit more time.
(35:06):
To experience your day withyour, you know, with your media
team to document.
That is gonna be an incredibleexperience for everyone, cuz we
can tell your story better andyou get to relive your story,
you know?
Yes.
Yay.
Yes.
Yeah.
Book the 12 hours.
Yes.
And uh, like to your point too,of making the most of it, like
(35:27):
make the most of having theopportunity to just like freely
love out loud, like Yes.
I think that's part of why sensecoming out and since, you know,
focusing my business to servethe community.
I have been so drawn to ELObecause it's like you.
You have this opportunity toexactly like you've been saying,
(35:50):
be full yourself.
You know, be around either knowpeople or the people that you
truly like, trust and feelyourself around.
And like that is such a rare andbeautiful thing.
So like, make the most of havingthe freedom to love out loud and
like just, you know, not havingany like worries or concerns
(36:11):
about it.
And like have that documented,like you deserve that.
So yes, yes, yes.
Oh, I love that so much.
Love out loud.
So freaking lutely.
Oh, I resonate with that verymuch.
Yes.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
I feel like, I don't know, Ifeel like we.
(36:34):
Just convinced the whole worldto elope.
I mean, honestly, I don't, Idon't know how you could not
want to.
Um, but yeah, thank you so muchtruly for, for sharing your
experiences and ideas and wisdomwith us.
Um, yeah, I would love to justlike wrap up now by like getting
to know you quickly.
(36:56):
Um, so yeah, like what would yousay is your favorite way to
spend a day?
Oh gosh.
Um, so I'm kind of, I'm kind ofa nerd, so it's a toss up
between being out in nature orlike playing the new Zelda, like
playing, uh, if I'm being told.
And, and sometimes I'll eventake my switch outside in nature
(37:19):
so I can do both to both worlds.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Love that so much.
Um, since you're such anadventurous person, is there any
like place on your bucket listyou're still really wanting to
go or shoot at?
Yeah, actually quite a fewplaces.
Um, but top of my mind is likeScotland or like the Italian
(37:41):
Dolomites are ugh, ugh.
It would just be unreal.
Yes, I like, yeah, the greeneryof Scotland and the moodiness,
like I'm all about that.
And then also like the, theDolomites, because you know,
they're giant freaking might,right?
Yes.
You not, right?
Yeah, for sure.
Oh, I, I agree 100%.
(38:04):
Um, yeah.
Last one just to kinda, youknow, throw you fur a loop.
What's your favorite color ofthe rainbow?
Oh gosh.
Oh, I don't know.
Um, purple probably.
Yeah.
Good choice.
Yeah, good choice.
Wow.
Well, thank you again, Cass.
(38:25):
Um, I will link all of yourstuff in the show notes, but
where can people find you ifthey wanna check you out?
Yeah, so I think we're oneverything, um, at narrow leaf
photography.
Perfect.
Yay.
Beautiful.
Yes, and more of the story.
The Midwest is actually prettycool.
(38:46):
So come check us out reallybeloved, thank you so much for
joining us this week, and wewill see you all here back next
week.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.