August 23, 2023 • 31 mins
In this episode, I interview Malachi of Shell Creek Photography who made the corageus jump to publicly come out just this past June. Together we discuss what it means to come out as business owner and how that has affected our business- good, bad or otherwise.
If you need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to reach out to Malachi or I and we will be happy to be support and keep things anonymous.
If you would like to talk to someone else, please consider looking at all of the many resources and support options that The Trevor Project has.
The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic
Queerly Beloved, I'm so glad you joined!
Please keep the community going by checking me out on instagram @wildlyconnectedphoto and come say hi! I'd love to hear from you! :)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Clearly Beloved, welcome back tothis week's episode.
(00:03):
My name is Anna.
I use she her pronouns.
And today with me I have Malachifrom Shell Creek Photography.
He is just the coolest ever.
We actually met through thephoto world.
I went to one of the workshopshe helped put on, He's just
super cool and we've been ableto kind of stay connected
(00:23):
through all things photographyand so I'm really, really
excited to have him on today.
So, okay.
If you would introduce yourself,your pronouns, and any other
important identities, pleasetake it away.
Yeah, my name is Malachi Lewis.
I am the owner of Shell CreekPhotography.
(00:45):
Uh, my pronouns are he, him.
I am gay and I am in committedrelationship with an amazing
guy.
Excited to be talking here onthe podcast.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
And yeah, I'd love to hear alittle bit about you and your
business and just kind of howyou got into it all.
(01:08):
Yeah, so it started when I wasreally young.
Um, just kind of started withdisposable film cameras,
honestly, is kind of how I gotinto photography.
Um, then.
Kind of learned on film when Iwas kind of transitioning
(01:29):
between film and digital, um,way back when.
Um, and eventually just kind of,I.
Never really put a camera downand always had a camera.
Um, kind of started withlandscape photography,
eventually got more intoportraits and wedding
(01:51):
photography, and then mostrecently just kind of combined
all of the landscape pluswedding photography into more
adventurous open photography.
Yeah.
That's so cool.
And I feel like you're one ofthose people that just kind of
has it all.
Like obviously you're an awesomehuman being and like super fun
(02:15):
to hang out with, but you'realso just like so knowledgeable
and like, yeah, I, I know how toget that shot.
Like, let's do it.
Yeah.
I love putting in the effort to,you know, Get the creative shot,
do something different, reallymake epic scenery come alive
through the photos that weshoot.
(02:38):
Yeah, that's great.
Yeah, everybody go check out hisInstagram.
It's amazing.
Well thank you for sharing that.
I really wanted to have you ontoday because I wanted to talk
about you recently.
Just this past June made the bigdecision to kind of come out
(03:00):
publicly online.
Um, and I realize that's like.
A really big step.
So thank you for sharing thatwith the world.
but I also understand as someonewho also had to do that, like
just how big of a step that isand understand that that is more
(03:22):
than just a post on socialmedia.
Like there's so much that comeswith that.
Um, good, bad in between andotherwise.
And so, Yeah, I kind of wouldjust like to hear a little bit
more about your story and talkabout the impacts of that a
little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
It's kind of tough to know whereto start and stuff.
(03:44):
Like I have been thinking aboutcoming out for.
Quite some time.
Um, I would say for at least thepast year, maybe two years.
Um, and I've just been thinkingabout it a lot and the impact
(04:06):
and effect that would have onjust my life.
Um, just being raised in.
The way I was raised was amazingin some ways, but then also
great in other ways, just dueto, unsupportive friends and
(04:30):
family that I kind of grew upwith.
So when I came out, it just feltlike I lost.
Everybody that I had ever grownup with and known.
Um, so that was really hard, uh,knowing that that would happen
(04:53):
and talking with, uh, my partnerCaleb about it, quite a bit.
But I was also.
Kind of worried how it wouldimpact my business as well.
Um, because I had already kindof come out to friends and
(05:14):
family, um, sometime prior tomore publicly coming out.
I was just kind of nervous howthat would impact my business as
well, because just being.
Raised how I was and being likein the closet for so long.
(05:37):
Um, I had never, like, I hadworked with, different queer
couples, but I had neverpublicly posted anything.
so it wasn't as clear to couplesthat I am not only.
Accepting, but also like amember of the community.
(06:01):
Um, so it was just really hardknowing how, what kind of
impact, uh, that would have,especially with couples that
were already booked and, youknow, how are they gonna react?
Like is there gonna be anynegative reactions, from
somebody?
But.
(06:22):
Thankfully that wasn't the caseand everyone was super
supportive and like couples thatI have, uh, talked with that are
thinking about booking me or whoare already booked, booked with
me or that I've shot theirweddings and I've talked with
them since coming out, um,they've all just been.
(06:44):
So amazing and supportive andcheering me on and like, just
really happy for me.
Um, I would say the only likereally negative impact
business-wise would be, youknow, losing some Instagram
followers and Facebook followersand things like that.
Um, but honestly would ratherlose those followers.
(07:10):
Because at this point theywouldn't work with me anyways,
so that's very true.
Kind of was a good, a good lossin a way.
Yeah.
And do you feel like you havehad or had seen things kind of,
you know, whether it was just inyour day-to-day life or in the
(07:34):
business realm that.
Those things, even though theymay not have been about you,
kind of impacted you feelingnervous to come out?
Yeah.
There were definitely thingsthat made me nervous.
Um, things that past friends andfamily had said, just especially
(07:57):
kind of made me nervous about.
What would happen or what peoplewould say.
but a lot of the friends thatI've found along the way have
been just really supportive andthere for me.
That's amazing.
And it sounds like you have apartner who's really been there
(08:22):
through it all too.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Like.
I've said during this wholeprocess, um, like I, I've
already kind of been thinkingabout coming out for quite a
while now.
Um, and I didn't want to.
(08:47):
Come out just for him, if thatmakes sense.
Like him coming out for me.
Um, but he has made it so mucheasier to get through the
process.
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, knowing you have thatsupport and.
(09:07):
Knowing that it allows you to bereally open with your person.
Yeah, totally.
That's huge.
I just, I think it's such a, aconcept that some folks
listening might just not alwaysbe totally aware of.
If it's not like something thatthey themselves have to think
(09:29):
about, you know?
Obviously it's like unfortunatethat we live in a time where
like coming out is still like anecessity.
But it's something that we haveto think about like all the
time, right?
Like even though like in my ownpersonal business model, like I
(09:50):
serve the queer community, likethose, those are my people and I
still have to like make thatdecision consciously, every day,
like out in the real world, whensomeone asks me like, where my
boyfriend is or someone's askingquestions about my personal life
or like, what have you, it'slike something that's constantly
(10:10):
on our minds, right?
So like, I think it's just suchan important topic to help
people understand that like,it's really important and it, it
makes a big impact on your lifeand you know, Now business wise
too, that's important and it'simportant to be able to show up
(10:32):
as your fullest self.
So, yeah.
How do you feel like it's beenpost coming out?
Like how do you feel as a personand as a business owner now
versus then?
One thing that I've recentlyheard, um, I don't remember why
I first heard it from, butsomeone said, think of it less
(10:55):
as coming out and more asletting people in.
just because I mean that's,honestly, like a better way to.
Think about it in my opinion.
'cause you're, you are who youare and you are just letting
people in and see more of your,uh, truer self.
(11:19):
Um, so it's just been like, it'sstill nerve wracking at times
because, you know, just a.
Regular conversation withsomebody at a store and like
(11:39):
just saying, my boyfriend orsomething like that.
As sometimes nerve wracking.
Um, when Caleb and I aretogether in public or something
like that, it's like, are we.
Safe to like just hold handstogether here.
(12:00):
Um, so yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
It's, yeah, and I think that'swhy, you know, I mentioned it
constantly being on our mindsbecause it's like, especially
being a small business owner,like.
(12:21):
It does kind of take over yourlife in some ways.
You know, like there's thatwhole joke that's kind of been
going around social media oflike, oh, people choosing to be
small business owners.
'cause they think it's going togive them like all this
flexibility and whatever, andyou escape the nine to five just
to basically work all of thetime.
(12:44):
You know what I mean?
Right.
So I think for us, and then ontop of that, like.
Not only are we small businessowners, but we're small business
owners who are literally likehanging out with couples who are
in love and trying to give theman amazing and emotional and
memorable experience.
(13:06):
And so it's like trying to hidethat from people is, is really
hard.
And at the same time, like itcan be like a scary thing to How
is this gonna impact things?
So, do you feel like you havefelt more at ease or, or like
(13:26):
shown up differently in yourbusiness since it being more
public?
Uh, definitely.
It kind of felt like leading upto coming out more publicly,
like I just felt myself becomingjust like, almost like shutting
(13:48):
down internally to like almostkind of protect myself or
becoming like more introvertedand just like trying to.
I don't know, not get too closeto anybody for a long time.
Um, and then feels like aftercoming out, just like I know
(14:12):
some people have said that aftercoming out, like they feel this
huge release of pressure.
Like, I didn't necessarilyexperience that.
And my, my experience is more oflike a.
Slow, gradual release of thepressure that I've been under
for so long.
So like feels like as time keepsgoing on, like I get more
(14:38):
comfortable with myself and justshow up more authentically as
myself and social media and, um,Say one I want to say on my
website and Instagram captionsand things like that.
Like, and it's usually not evenabout anything related towards,
(15:01):
um, being queer coming out orbeing gay or anything like that.
It's just me being myself andjust really everyday life kind
of stuff.
Absolutely.
That is so true.
Um, yeah.
Similar to you.
I heard something the other day,I can't remember exactly who
(15:24):
said it, but it was essentiallythe idea that when you are
actually feel like you can beyourself and show up
authentically, it changes theway that you create and the way
that you interact and thingslike that.
And, I feel like that was sotrue for me, like once it was
(15:46):
out there and once I reallystarted to to shift in my
business, it was just like, oh,like I can show up to a shoot or
something and not be like, okay,like just, you know, remember
not to say this and do this and,and instead it was just like, oh
my gosh, like the creativity isflowing because I'm just like,
(16:08):
Being me, you know, regardlessof any conversation about my, my
partner or personal life orcoming up, it just was like, I'm
just me now.
And like that I think has evenimpacted the way that I like
take photos and interact withclients and things like that.
Um, do you feel that same way?
(16:32):
Yeah, definitely.
Like just, I don't have to be.
Careful about like saying thewrong thing and like can really
show up as myself and thinkoutside the box, be creative
'cause you don't have thispressure that you've been under.
(16:55):
Absolutely.
And at the same time, you know,there's still that reality of
sometimes like, I don't know.
For me, for example, sometimeswhen I randomly take a second
shooting position or something,there are still those moments
where it's like, Hmm, do I haveto like quick sneak back in the
(17:16):
closet really quick for this?
Like, I don't know, you know,there are still those moments,
do you feel like.
Do you have any regrets about itor are you like, this is, this
is good?
I mean, not really that I canthink of.
Like only regret, regrets wouldbe like how some people like
(17:43):
reacted to it, but I mean,that's not.
Something that I can control.
But, um, I said what I needed tosay and I said it in the
kindest, most respectful way Iknew how to say it.
(18:04):
Um, so yeah, I don't think Ihave any regrets.
Yeah, that's amazing.
I think it was, it wasbeautifully said.
And you know, especially forsuch a big step, like sharing
your partner with the world andstuff too, where do you hope
(18:31):
this like takes you now and yourbusiness?
Or what are you excited aboutgoing forward?
Honestly would love to just workwith more couples like Caleb and
I like, I see there's, it seemsthat couples where the, where
(18:53):
they're both, uh, more malepresenting is.
Just less, a lot less seen.
Um, just from looking, indifferent places.
And it's like, I want to getinspiration for us for like what
I could see us being like andlike, I just don't see that, um,
(19:16):
with as many guys and like wannashow, um, more gay couples what
their.
Days could be what, you know,they could experience.
And just more, I guess more repshowing more representation, uh,
(19:36):
in that way.
Yes, absolutely.
And it's, I, I think that it'struly.
It is really hard to put it inwords how amazing it is to see
love like yours reflected backto you.
Like again, you know, for cisstraight white couples, they see
(20:00):
it all the time.
It's not even a thought, but um,Yeah.
And I know I've said this a fewtimes and I, I realize that it
might sound like a little bitout there, but I feel like queer
love is like sacred.
Like we've had to fight so hardto be where we are and have to
(20:21):
fight in small ways every day.
And so like seeing it and seeingit in that like big expression
of love, of like making vows andcommitting to each other, like I
truly feel like.
It is like a sacred experienceand being able to be a part of a
(20:42):
couple's journey in that fromour, our own community is just
like really special and alsoreally healing, I feel like too.
Yeah, definitely.
It's just like seeing.
A couple that's two guys likegetting married.
Like sometimes it just feels sorare that like when I do see it,
(21:08):
it's like, oh my gosh, I lovethis.
And it just like really hits mein a different way.
And I think that you are gonnahave, you know, such a special
place in this.
In this realm of alumniphotography, you know, making
couples, because there'sobviously other couples out
(21:29):
there like you, you know, andbeing able to make them feel
safe and seen and special, like,yeah.
I'm just so excited for thischapter for you and seeing all
the cool new people that you'regonna attract into your life to.
Replace all the old ones thatmight have left.
(21:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For the people out therelistening, whether they're other
photographers, maybe othervendors or couples who are in a
similar boat to where you werelike a year or two ago who have
been thinking about coming outor want to, but.
(22:17):
You know, have reservations orjust aren't really sure.
What would you say to them?
I would say just keep thinkingabout it and if you can find a,
you know, if you've, ifabsolutely no one knows, find a.
(22:37):
Close friend or two that youcan, really trust and confide in
and talk to them about howyou're feeling, even though that
they may not fully understandeverything that you're going
through.
Um, just having someone to talkto is.
(23:03):
Really amazing, um, throughoutthe whole process, especially as
you get, um, closer to when youthink you might want to tell
more people, but coming out isjust going to have.
(23:26):
An impact on your life.
Like some of it might be good,some of it might be bad, but I
think eventually everything isgonna be better for it once you
get through it.
Yeah.
Sounds like you're a livingtestament to that.
Yeah.
Yeah, totally agree.
(23:48):
And I think.
You highlighted something reallyimportant of finding those safe
people early on in your journeytoo.
Um, and that could even maybe besomeone you connect with online,
like over Instagram or, youknow, safely on like an online
(24:08):
forum or something like that.
I think that's really huge.
Um, And I don't wanna speak toomuch for you, Malachi, but I'd
like to believe that we're bothopen to that too.
just being there to say like, wesee you.
And, um, also yeah, keeping itsafe, like you mentioned too,
(24:30):
it's not, you really are theonly person who can decide when
it's safe to do so and what thatlooks like for you.
Um.
So, yeah, just know for any ofyou listening, there's people
out there like Malachi and I,who are like cheering you on
(24:50):
and, and want the best for you.
Yeah, it definitely happened,like when I came out more
publicly with it, um, there werea few people that.
Saw that and reached out to meand said like, Hey, I'm going
(25:12):
through something similar to,um, and like they're people in
their lives, um, may have nothave been supportive or known,
or they're just kind of scared.
But, we definitely see you outthere and wanna support you.
Yes, yes, 100%.
(25:36):
And yeah, just thank you so muchMalachi, for being willing to
share about this.
it's really important and Ithink the people who need to
hear it are going to hear it andeither walk away with things to
think about or walk away feelingmaybe more ready to.
(25:58):
Share more about themselves.
So thank you so much.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, and I know we just hadlike, you know, a little bit of
a tough conversation, so I'dlove to end with like a fun
little, just lightning round,get to know Malachi.
So are you ready?
(26:20):
I'm ready.
Cool.
What's your favorite color ofthe rainbow?
Definitely green.
Can see all the around you.
Yes, me too.
Me too.
Good choice.
Do you remember who or what yourgay awakening was?
Hmm.
I don't really have like aspecific.
(26:44):
Person or moment that I canthink of.
Um, I think I just kind ofgradually realized it over time.
Um, but honestly started at apretty young age.
Yeah.
Okay.
Got you.
That's a much better answer thanme, which for me is, um, Go from
(27:08):
impossible.
So, um, there's that.
Um, if you had a day off, liketotally free, free from
responsibilities, what would beyour ideal way to spend it?
Um, doing pretty much anythingadventurous outside.
(27:30):
Um, Preferably out of cellservice range.
Um, just like, could be paddleboarding, could be climbing,
could be off-roading, um,anything like that.
And just having some snacksalong and staying out and
(27:51):
watching the sunset.
Oh my gosh, that soundsbeautiful.
Wish I could go do that rightnow.
Oh wow.
Well, truly, again, thank you somuch Malachi.
It means so much that you werewilling to share your time and
(28:12):
your story with us.
And yeah, I'm cheering you onand I can't wait to see how
this, this new open chapter oflife, you know, goes for you.
And, um, yeah.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, thank you.
Perfect.
Well, I will link all of yoursocials and everything in the
(28:35):
show notes, but I believe you'reat Shell Creek photo on
Instagram, correct?
Yep.
So everybody go check'em out,give them some love, and yeah,
clearly, beloved, thank you somuch for listening to this
week's episode.
I will see you all again verysoon
Clearly Beloved, welcome back tothis week's episode.
(00:03):
My name is Anna.
I use she her pronouns.
And today with me I have Malachifrom Shell Creek Photography.
He is just the coolest ever.
We actually met through thephoto world.
I went to one of the workshopshe helped put on, He's just
super cool and we've been ableto kind of stay connected
(00:23):
through all things photographyand so I'm really, really
excited to have him on today.
So, okay.
If you would introduce yourself,your pronouns, and any other
important identities, pleasetake it away.
Yeah, my name is Malachi Lewis.
I am the owner of Shell CreekPhotography.
(00:45):
Uh, my pronouns are he, him.
I am gay and I am in committedrelationship with an amazing
guy.
Excited to be talking here onthe podcast.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
And yeah, I'd love to hear alittle bit about you and your
business and just kind of howyou got into it all.
(01:08):
Yeah, so it started when I wasreally young.
Um, just kind of started withdisposable film cameras,
honestly, is kind of how I gotinto photography.
Um, then.
Kind of learned on film when Iwas kind of transitioning
(01:29):
between film and digital, um,way back when.
Um, and eventually just kind of,I.
Never really put a camera downand always had a camera.
Um, kind of started withlandscape photography,
eventually got more intoportraits and wedding
(01:51):
photography, and then mostrecently just kind of combined
all of the landscape pluswedding photography into more
adventurous open photography.
Yeah.
That's so cool.
And I feel like you're one ofthose people that just kind of
has it all.
Like obviously you're an awesomehuman being and like super fun
(02:15):
to hang out with, but you'realso just like so knowledgeable
and like, yeah, I, I know how toget that shot.
Like, let's do it.
Yeah.
I love putting in the effort to,you know, Get the creative shot,
do something different, reallymake epic scenery come alive
through the photos that weshoot.
(02:38):
Yeah, that's great.
Yeah, everybody go check out hisInstagram.
It's amazing.
Well thank you for sharing that.
I really wanted to have you ontoday because I wanted to talk
about you recently.
Just this past June made the bigdecision to kind of come out
(03:00):
publicly online.
Um, and I realize that's like.
A really big step.
So thank you for sharing thatwith the world.
but I also understand as someonewho also had to do that, like
just how big of a step that isand understand that that is more
(03:22):
than just a post on socialmedia.
Like there's so much that comeswith that.
Um, good, bad in between andotherwise.
And so, Yeah, I kind of wouldjust like to hear a little bit
more about your story and talkabout the impacts of that a
little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
It's kind of tough to know whereto start and stuff.
(03:44):
Like I have been thinking aboutcoming out for.
Quite some time.
Um, I would say for at least thepast year, maybe two years.
Um, and I've just been thinkingabout it a lot and the impact
(04:06):
and effect that would have onjust my life.
Um, just being raised in.
The way I was raised was amazingin some ways, but then also
great in other ways, just dueto, unsupportive friends and
(04:30):
family that I kind of grew upwith.
So when I came out, it just feltlike I lost.
Everybody that I had ever grownup with and known.
Um, so that was really hard, uh,knowing that that would happen
(04:53):
and talking with, uh, my partnerCaleb about it, quite a bit.
But I was also.
Kind of worried how it wouldimpact my business as well.
Um, because I had already kindof come out to friends and
(05:14):
family, um, sometime prior tomore publicly coming out.
I was just kind of nervous howthat would impact my business as
well, because just being.
Raised how I was and being likein the closet for so long.
(05:37):
Um, I had never, like, I hadworked with, different queer
couples, but I had neverpublicly posted anything.
so it wasn't as clear to couplesthat I am not only.
Accepting, but also like amember of the community.
(06:01):
Um, so it was just really hardknowing how, what kind of
impact, uh, that would have,especially with couples that
were already booked and, youknow, how are they gonna react?
Like is there gonna be anynegative reactions, from
somebody?
But.
(06:22):
Thankfully that wasn't the caseand everyone was super
supportive and like couples thatI have, uh, talked with that are
thinking about booking me or whoare already booked, booked with
me or that I've shot theirweddings and I've talked with
them since coming out, um,they've all just been.
(06:44):
So amazing and supportive andcheering me on and like, just
really happy for me.
Um, I would say the only likereally negative impact
business-wise would be, youknow, losing some Instagram
followers and Facebook followersand things like that.
Um, but honestly would ratherlose those followers.
(07:10):
Because at this point theywouldn't work with me anyways,
so that's very true.
Kind of was a good, a good lossin a way.
Yeah.
And do you feel like you havehad or had seen things kind of,
you know, whether it was just inyour day-to-day life or in the
(07:34):
business realm that.
Those things, even though theymay not have been about you,
kind of impacted you feelingnervous to come out?
Yeah.
There were definitely thingsthat made me nervous.
Um, things that past friends andfamily had said, just especially
(07:57):
kind of made me nervous about.
What would happen or what peoplewould say.
but a lot of the friends thatI've found along the way have
been just really supportive andthere for me.
That's amazing.
And it sounds like you have apartner who's really been there
(08:22):
through it all too.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Like.
I've said during this wholeprocess, um, like I, I've
already kind of been thinkingabout coming out for quite a
while now.
Um, and I didn't want to.
(08:47):
Come out just for him, if thatmakes sense.
Like him coming out for me.
Um, but he has made it so mucheasier to get through the
process.
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, knowing you have thatsupport and.
(09:07):
Knowing that it allows you to bereally open with your person.
Yeah, totally.
That's huge.
I just, I think it's such a, aconcept that some folks
listening might just not alwaysbe totally aware of.
If it's not like something thatthey themselves have to think
(09:29):
about, you know?
Obviously it's like unfortunatethat we live in a time where
like coming out is still like anecessity.
But it's something that we haveto think about like all the
time, right?
Like even though like in my ownpersonal business model, like I
(09:50):
serve the queer community, likethose, those are my people and I
still have to like make thatdecision consciously, every day,
like out in the real world, whensomeone asks me like, where my
boyfriend is or someone's askingquestions about my personal life
or like, what have you, it'slike something that's constantly
(10:10):
on our minds, right?
So like, I think it's just suchan important topic to help
people understand that like,it's really important and it, it
makes a big impact on your lifeand you know, Now business wise
too, that's important and it'simportant to be able to show up
(10:32):
as your fullest self.
So, yeah.
How do you feel like it's beenpost coming out?
Like how do you feel as a personand as a business owner now
versus then?
One thing that I've recentlyheard, um, I don't remember why
I first heard it from, butsomeone said, think of it less
(10:55):
as coming out and more asletting people in.
just because I mean that's,honestly, like a better way to.
Think about it in my opinion.
'cause you're, you are who youare and you are just letting
people in and see more of your,uh, truer self.
(11:19):
Um, so it's just been like, it'sstill nerve wracking at times
because, you know, just a.
Regular conversation withsomebody at a store and like
(11:39):
just saying, my boyfriend orsomething like that.
As sometimes nerve wracking.
Um, when Caleb and I aretogether in public or something
like that, it's like, are we.
Safe to like just hold handstogether here.
(12:00):
Um, so yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
It's, yeah, and I think that'swhy, you know, I mentioned it
constantly being on our mindsbecause it's like, especially
being a small business owner,like.
(12:21):
It does kind of take over yourlife in some ways.
You know, like there's thatwhole joke that's kind of been
going around social media oflike, oh, people choosing to be
small business owners.
'cause they think it's going togive them like all this
flexibility and whatever, andyou escape the nine to five just
to basically work all of thetime.
(12:44):
You know what I mean?
Right.
So I think for us, and then ontop of that, like.
Not only are we small businessowners, but we're small business
owners who are literally likehanging out with couples who are
in love and trying to give theman amazing and emotional and
memorable experience.
(13:06):
And so it's like trying to hidethat from people is, is really
hard.
And at the same time, like itcan be like a scary thing to How
is this gonna impact things?
So, do you feel like you havefelt more at ease or, or like
(13:26):
shown up differently in yourbusiness since it being more
public?
Uh, definitely.
It kind of felt like leading upto coming out more publicly,
like I just felt myself becomingjust like, almost like shutting
(13:48):
down internally to like almostkind of protect myself or
becoming like more introvertedand just like trying to.
I don't know, not get too closeto anybody for a long time.
Um, and then feels like aftercoming out, just like I know
(14:12):
some people have said that aftercoming out, like they feel this
huge release of pressure.
Like, I didn't necessarilyexperience that.
And my, my experience is more oflike a.
Slow, gradual release of thepressure that I've been under
for so long.
So like feels like as time keepsgoing on, like I get more
(14:38):
comfortable with myself and justshow up more authentically as
myself and social media and, um,Say one I want to say on my
website and Instagram captionsand things like that.
Like, and it's usually not evenabout anything related towards,
(15:01):
um, being queer coming out orbeing gay or anything like that.
It's just me being myself andjust really everyday life kind
of stuff.
Absolutely.
That is so true.
Um, yeah.
Similar to you.
I heard something the other day,I can't remember exactly who
(15:24):
said it, but it was essentiallythe idea that when you are
actually feel like you can beyourself and show up
authentically, it changes theway that you create and the way
that you interact and thingslike that.
And, I feel like that was sotrue for me, like once it was
(15:46):
out there and once I reallystarted to to shift in my
business, it was just like, oh,like I can show up to a shoot or
something and not be like, okay,like just, you know, remember
not to say this and do this and,and instead it was just like, oh
my gosh, like the creativity isflowing because I'm just like,
(16:08):
Being me, you know, regardlessof any conversation about my, my
partner or personal life orcoming up, it just was like, I'm
just me now.
And like that I think has evenimpacted the way that I like
take photos and interact withclients and things like that.
Um, do you feel that same way?
(16:32):
Yeah, definitely.
Like just, I don't have to be.
Careful about like saying thewrong thing and like can really
show up as myself and thinkoutside the box, be creative
'cause you don't have thispressure that you've been under.
(16:55):
Absolutely.
And at the same time, you know,there's still that reality of
sometimes like, I don't know.
For me, for example, sometimeswhen I randomly take a second
shooting position or something,there are still those moments
where it's like, Hmm, do I haveto like quick sneak back in the
(17:16):
closet really quick for this?
Like, I don't know, you know,there are still those moments,
do you feel like.
Do you have any regrets about itor are you like, this is, this
is good?
I mean, not really that I canthink of.
Like only regret, regrets wouldbe like how some people like
(17:43):
reacted to it, but I mean,that's not.
Something that I can control.
But, um, I said what I needed tosay and I said it in the
kindest, most respectful way Iknew how to say it.
(18:04):
Um, so yeah, I don't think Ihave any regrets.
Yeah, that's amazing.
I think it was, it wasbeautifully said.
And you know, especially forsuch a big step, like sharing
your partner with the world andstuff too, where do you hope
(18:31):
this like takes you now and yourbusiness?
Or what are you excited aboutgoing forward?
Honestly would love to just workwith more couples like Caleb and
I like, I see there's, it seemsthat couples where the, where
(18:53):
they're both, uh, more malepresenting is.
Just less, a lot less seen.
Um, just from looking, indifferent places.
And it's like, I want to getinspiration for us for like what
I could see us being like andlike, I just don't see that, um,
(19:16):
with as many guys and like wannashow, um, more gay couples what
their.
Days could be what, you know,they could experience.
And just more, I guess more repshowing more representation, uh,
(19:36):
in that way.
Yes, absolutely.
And it's, I, I think that it'struly.
It is really hard to put it inwords how amazing it is to see
love like yours reflected backto you.
Like again, you know, for cisstraight white couples, they see
(20:00):
it all the time.
It's not even a thought, but um,Yeah.
And I know I've said this a fewtimes and I, I realize that it
might sound like a little bitout there, but I feel like queer
love is like sacred.
Like we've had to fight so hardto be where we are and have to
(20:21):
fight in small ways every day.
And so like seeing it and seeingit in that like big expression
of love, of like making vows andcommitting to each other, like I
truly feel like.
It is like a sacred experienceand being able to be a part of a
(20:42):
couple's journey in that fromour, our own community is just
like really special and alsoreally healing, I feel like too.
Yeah, definitely.
It's just like seeing.
A couple that's two guys likegetting married.
Like sometimes it just feels sorare that like when I do see it,
(21:08):
it's like, oh my gosh, I lovethis.
And it just like really hits mein a different way.
And I think that you are gonnahave, you know, such a special
place in this.
In this realm of alumniphotography, you know, making
couples, because there'sobviously other couples out
(21:29):
there like you, you know, andbeing able to make them feel
safe and seen and special, like,yeah.
I'm just so excited for thischapter for you and seeing all
the cool new people that you'regonna attract into your life to.
Replace all the old ones thatmight have left.
(21:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For the people out therelistening, whether they're other
photographers, maybe othervendors or couples who are in a
similar boat to where you werelike a year or two ago who have
been thinking about coming outor want to, but.
(22:17):
You know, have reservations orjust aren't really sure.
What would you say to them?
I would say just keep thinkingabout it and if you can find a,
you know, if you've, ifabsolutely no one knows, find a.
(22:37):
Close friend or two that youcan, really trust and confide in
and talk to them about howyou're feeling, even though that
they may not fully understandeverything that you're going
through.
Um, just having someone to talkto is.
(23:03):
Really amazing, um, throughoutthe whole process, especially as
you get, um, closer to when youthink you might want to tell
more people, but coming out isjust going to have.
(23:26):
An impact on your life.
Like some of it might be good,some of it might be bad, but I
think eventually everything isgonna be better for it once you
get through it.
Yeah.
Sounds like you're a livingtestament to that.
Yeah.
Yeah, totally agree.
(23:48):
And I think.
You highlighted something reallyimportant of finding those safe
people early on in your journeytoo.
Um, and that could even maybe besomeone you connect with online,
like over Instagram or, youknow, safely on like an online
(24:08):
forum or something like that.
I think that's really huge.
Um, And I don't wanna speak toomuch for you, Malachi, but I'd
like to believe that we're bothopen to that too.
just being there to say like, wesee you.
And, um, also yeah, keeping itsafe, like you mentioned too,
(24:30):
it's not, you really are theonly person who can decide when
it's safe to do so and what thatlooks like for you.
Um.
So, yeah, just know for any ofyou listening, there's people
out there like Malachi and I,who are like cheering you on
(24:50):
and, and want the best for you.
Yeah, it definitely happened,like when I came out more
publicly with it, um, there werea few people that.
Saw that and reached out to meand said like, Hey, I'm going
(25:12):
through something similar to,um, and like they're people in
their lives, um, may have nothave been supportive or known,
or they're just kind of scared.
But, we definitely see you outthere and wanna support you.
Yes, yes, 100%.
(25:36):
And yeah, just thank you so muchMalachi, for being willing to
share about this.
it's really important and Ithink the people who need to
hear it are going to hear it andeither walk away with things to
think about or walk away feelingmaybe more ready to.
(25:58):
Share more about themselves.
So thank you so much.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, and I know we just hadlike, you know, a little bit of
a tough conversation, so I'dlove to end with like a fun
little, just lightning round,get to know Malachi.
So are you ready?
(26:20):
I'm ready.
Cool.
What's your favorite color ofthe rainbow?
Definitely green.
Can see all the around you.
Yes, me too.
Me too.
Good choice.
Do you remember who or what yourgay awakening was?
Hmm.
I don't really have like aspecific.
(26:44):
Person or moment that I canthink of.
Um, I think I just kind ofgradually realized it over time.
Um, but honestly started at apretty young age.
Yeah.
Okay.
Got you.
That's a much better answer thanme, which for me is, um, Go from
(27:08):
impossible.
So, um, there's that.
Um, if you had a day off, liketotally free, free from
responsibilities, what would beyour ideal way to spend it?
Um, doing pretty much anythingadventurous outside.
(27:30):
Um, Preferably out of cellservice range.
Um, just like, could be paddleboarding, could be climbing,
could be off-roading, um,anything like that.
And just having some snacksalong and staying out and
(27:51):
watching the sunset.
Oh my gosh, that soundsbeautiful.
Wish I could go do that rightnow.
Oh wow.
Well, truly, again, thank you somuch Malachi.
It means so much that you werewilling to share your time and
(28:12):
your story with us.
And yeah, I'm cheering you onand I can't wait to see how
this, this new open chapter oflife, you know, goes for you.
And, um, yeah.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, thank you.
Perfect.
Well, I will link all of yoursocials and everything in the
(28:35):
show notes, but I believe you'reat Shell Creek photo on
Instagram, correct?
Yep.
So everybody go check'em out,give them some love, and yeah,
clearly, beloved, thank you somuch for listening to this
week's episode.
I will see you all again verysoon
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