December 1, 2023 • 22 mins
Hello hello! This week's episode is a follow up from the last episode, but instead things I'd love to see MORE of in 2024 as our generation is navigating a world where we have no kinds of "traditions" that feel right for all love stories.
Here is the episode with Priya Parker I referenced.
If you have other ideas for things you'd like to see more of in the wedding world in 2024, or just want to say hello, please message me @wildlyconnectedphoto!
The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic
Queerly Beloved, I'm so glad you joined!
Please keep the community going by checking me out on instagram @wildlyconnectedphoto and come say hi! I'd love to hear from you! :)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo (00:00):
Really beloved.
Welcome back to this week'sepisode.
My name is Ana.
I.
I use she, her pronouns and I'mwith wildly connected
photography, just in case you'renew around here.
If you're returning.
Welcome back.
Hi.
Hello.
So nice to see you or hear.
Yeah, I guess.
I hope you all are enjoying thistransition into winter season
(00:23):
and are getting ready for thecold and snow.
If you get snow where you are.
And yeah.
If you celebrate any holidaysthis time of year, hopefully
you're getting into that kind ofspirit to.
It's it's just so weird.
Like I swear.
I don't know.
I feel like the people in mylife.
Who know me know that I say thisall the time, about time just
(00:46):
being so strange.
Like I swear yesterday.
I swear yesterday, I woke up andit was the start of 2023.
And now it's like, it'sbasically 20, 24.
Let's be real.
So, yeah, I don't know.
So weird.
But.
Speaking of 20, 24, actually,before I started that, I would
(01:07):
love to.
Follow up from last week'sepisode, which if you haven't
listened to last week's episode,it was all about things that I'd
like to see die and stop in2023.
So please make sure to go givethat on a listen.
First before listening to thisone.
And I'm super curious for thoseof you who did listen.
(01:29):
And basically got the gist ofthe episode, which is that.
I would love to see.
The word bride stop being usedso widely, so much.
Just like is basically the wholewedding industry.
It feels like sometimes.
and so I would just love to seethat kind of really come to a
(01:51):
halt in 2023 or at the veryleast like just a bigger, more
inclusive idea of what the wordbride means.
So, anyway, all that is to sayis since that episode is
released, even in that shorttime, I've noticed it so much.
Like I was just at an event alittle bit ago with other
(02:11):
wedding industry professionalsand the, in the entire evening
was bride.
This bride, that bride andgroom, this bride and groom
that.
And it's so frustrating.
And so I'm just curious if anyof you have kind of noticed it.
Sentence.
And if so, please share you canDME.
At wildly connected photo and Iwould love.
(02:33):
Love to hear your thoughts.
And also.
I am starting to line up somequeer love stories for the end
of this year and going into nextyear.
So, if you would like to shareyour story with the people here,
um, so we can learn from you andrelate to you and all the
amazing things.
(02:54):
Again, please shoot me a DM atwildly connected photo on
Instagram.
And I would love to get you setup on the podcast.
And finally, before we dive intothe episode, The last, you know,
boring thing I'll say, I guessis.
I would love if those of you wholisten, could leave me a review
(03:15):
on whatever platform that youlisten on.
The crazy thing is about theseplatforms is that.
The more positive rating andreviews.
I get the more that it will showit to new people and I would
really love to connect with morecouples who could benefit from.
Hearing some of this hearingsome of your stories and also
would love to continue to.
(03:36):
Connect with other vendors inthe industry who are always
looking to get better.
So if you could take like 30seconds either now, or at the
end of the episode to justquick, leave me a review, that
would be so amazing.
I appreciate you all so, somuch.
So Let's dive into tone and 24.
Since last week's episode wasall about things that I'd like
(03:57):
to see kind of slow down.
Coming into this year.
I fear that I should touch onthings that I'd like to see more
of in 2024.
So.
Before I get into all thespecifics, I would like to say
that.
I think a lot of my podcastepisodes.
Can speak to both couples andvendors while some episodes of
(04:20):
course may speak a little bitmore to one or the other.
Um, I think that for this, like,this is something that applies
to, to couples and vendorsalmost equally, I would say.
Because it is our responsibilityto create the future in the
industry that we want to see.
(04:41):
And I think that it's a couple'sresponsibility in that at the
end of the day.
The couple's the one making thedecisions about.
You know where they want to be,how they want to spend their
time, what kinds of things theywant to spend their money on?
And of course I realized thatit's not always that simple.
Sometimes there's otherinfluences, whether it be
(05:02):
parents or friends or.
You know, feeling pressured todo trendy things.
Like, of course there's thoseinfluences, but.
At the end of the day, it is acouple of kind of making those
decisions and the vendors whoare trying to.
Uphold with a couple lawns.
And at the same time, I thinkvendors have the responsibility
of making suggestions, offeringnew ideas.
(05:25):
Two couples.
And even beyond that, you know,talking to other industry
professionals, Helping them seethat, that things can change
that there's other options, um,and changing things in your own
business are super powerful.
So I think that it takes both ofus to start seeing the changes
that we want to see in theindustry.
(05:45):
So my hope is that couples andvendors alike can really work
together on making thesechanges.
And I'd like to start withsomething that I heard, actually
listening to a podcast episodewith Priya Parker that can link
below.
Who is the author of the art ofgathering, which have not yet
read, but after listening tothis episode and listening to a
(06:08):
few others talk about, I reallywant to read it because it just
sounds so good.
But in this podcast episode, sheactually used weddings as an
example, for a point she wastrying to make.
And I just thought it was sointeresting and it like clicked
in my brain and made so muchsense.
So she essentially was saying.
That for weddings.
(06:29):
There's this whole idea of.
Couples feeling so trappedbecause they feel caught in
between.
Tradition of like weddings are avery like traditional thing
where you do things, how they'vealways been done.
There's lots of traditioninvolved in the day.
And at the same time wanting tochange that because there are
(06:50):
things that are harmful or feelmisogynistic or heteronormative
or whatever it might be.
And so they feel kind of caughtbetween a rock and a hard place
because it's sort of like, well,we want to honor those
traditions, but we also want tochange.
And make room for new kinds oflove stories, and new kinds of
things that feel.
(07:12):
Healthier and more welcoming andaccepting to all, but there's no
roadmap for that.
Um, she also used like babyshowers as an example of, you
know, Oh, that can feel so honedin on like the mom and
everything that the mom's goingto have to do in that
relationship.
When.
There are some people who maybethere's two moms, first of all,
(07:35):
or beyond that.
They just want it to feel like amore equal.
Parenting partnership and not.
You know, focus on the mom andthe mom duties and all of that.
Um, So it was a superinteresting episode.
I will link it below, but.
I just think that that made alot of sense, right?
Where we're in this, this placein time, or we recognize that.
(07:59):
The way things.
Ha how things have always beendone is not how they should
necessarily continue to be.
And we don't necessarily knowwhat that means.
There's no like, okay, well, ifthis isn't the answer, then we
should do this.
So I think.
I think we're also a generationfull of people who want to make
the world a better place.
(08:21):
And so I hope that the couplesand vendors.
Here feel inspired and empoweredto make those changes, knowing
that there's not necessarily aright or wrong, as long as we're
working together to try to make.
To make 20, 24 better.
And then 2025 and then 2026.
So.
I will get off my soap box,although not really because I'm
(08:43):
here on a podcast.
But.
I, I just think that's a reallygood base for us to start from,
because this episode is notsupposed to be about like, Ooh,
this color palette is gonnareally.
Pop off in 2024 or.
You know, have low stakes.
Odd your Dean's floor.
(09:03):
It's it's not necessarily aboutthose kinds of trends.
Um, I think it's just like areally good base for us to all
start from to recognize thatwe're sort of in this new
territory, Trying to explore andfigure out how we want to change
while also still honoring thosetraditions.
If they feel right for us.
Diving into some of the morespecific things of trends I'd
(09:28):
love to see more of in 2024.
I think actually some of thelittlest things can make.
Way for the biggest changes.
So for example, like a lot ofthings that I saw this year were
things like couples choosing adifferent kind of dessert, like
donuts or.
Smaller as, or things like thatover like a traditional cake.
(09:51):
Um, or even things like the dayof the week that your wedding
happens or the time of the daythat the celebration is held.
I know, like it might sound kindof silly, but I think all of
those things like signal to theworld that we're no longer
having to do things the way weused to.
Cause I just think about likeeven 10, 20 years ago, it felt
(10:14):
like still at that time, youronly option was to get married
in some sort of religiousinstitution on a Saturday
afternoon.
Like that's just what happened.
That was it.
And now people are gettingmarried in barns.
So, you know, we've come a longway.
But all that is to say, like, Idon't think that happened
overnight.
It wasn't like one day.
(10:36):
Churches and the next day barnsand.
Industrial buildings.
Like I think there was probablythings that happened along the
way.
And so I think that we need tokeep that energy going into
2024.
Everything from desserts to timeof day to all of those little
changes that just feel more likeyou or are right for you are
(10:57):
going to continue to show peoplelike, Hey.
Things are changing and it'sokay.
And we're going to do this onestep at a time.
So keep doing the little thingsthat feel most like you.
Another thing that of course isgoing to make me sound like a
broken record.
But just, it needs to be aconstant reminder as we're all
(11:18):
growing together is just moreuse of the word couple versus
Brian and groom.
I've definitely seen so muchmore of that this, this year
than any other year I've been inthe industry, I would say, but.
I definitely still see lots ofslip-ups or.
People like having it just likein their written out scripts,
things like that.
So, We definitely have room toimprove.
(11:41):
But I have a lot of hope.
I do see a lot of vendorscatching themselves or just
being more conscious.
So.
Let's keep up that energy in2024, we're keeping things
neutral.
We're keeping things inclusive.
It's going to be great.
So another thing is.
Relating to what couples whereon their day.
And I know this one might getsome mixed reviews because.
(12:05):
The whole like wearing white orwearing black or wearing black
and white, it feels very, itfeels very wedding.
Which.
It is because that's how thingshave been done since the 18
hundreds.
I should make a disclaimerbefore I dive too deep into the,
into this, that this is mostlytalking about weddings that
happen in America.
(12:26):
Or in mostly white bodied folksor people that don't otherwise
have other.
Cultural ties and heritage.
So.
I'm well aware of that.
In other, other traditions,other cultures that the colors
are not white and black.
So that is.
Great and amazing.
But for weddings that happen.
(12:48):
Here in America.
Or that has been kind of thepractice for a long, long time.
Just, uh, yeah, you canreference my old episode that
talks about.
Old wedding traditions that alsoneed to die in a hole.
And I'm definitely not sayingthat about wearing white and
black.
I think some people feel verystrongly about that and want
(13:09):
that.
And I.
Support that.
As with a lot of traditions, Ithink it's up to each individual
person, what they want to do.
Um, but there are some weirdties, right?
Like wearing white has to dowith innocence and morality and
virginity and, There are peoplethat say the groom is supposed
to wear black because it.
You know, Puts more attentionback on the brides and.
(13:32):
That's what the day is allabout.
You know, exhibit 1,000,003 ofthe use of the word bride.
So.
Oh, that is the same.
Just because that's how it'salways been done does not mean
that you have to do it.
And of course, If it feels rightfor you by all means do it.
(13:52):
But I've seen so many weddingsover this past year, this past
two years, honestly, wherecouples have found really fun
and creative ways to involvecolor in their outfits, whether
it's like half of their outfitbeing a color or.
Maybe later in the evening, theychange into a different outfit
that is more colorful or theyjust wear color all day long.
(14:14):
Like, I think.
Just wear what feels good toyou?
Like you don't have.
People always say that, like, ifyou don't wear why or you don't
wear black than you don't look,quote unquote bridal area,
doesn't look like a wedding.
That just think that's so false.
Like where literally where,whatever the heck you want.
You are still going to lookamazing if you're wearing red,
(14:35):
you're not going toautomatically not be a bride or
not be a merrier, just because.
You're not wearing white.
I digress.
Please.
I just would like you to knowthat you can wear whatever
colors you would like on yourwedding.
And I have lots of cool examplesof couples doing that on their
day.
So.
(14:56):
If you would like to see someexamples, feel free to reach out
to me anytime.
Another thing is that.
In 2023 SL um, or venues andspaces, trying to make efforts
to make bathrooms just feel moreinclusive, um, whether it's
single stalls or making some ofthem gender neutral or figuring
out creative ways to make it amore communal space.
(15:18):
I love it.
We love to see it.
Let's keep that going up in2024.
And another thing.
This one.
I think has sort of been.
In the works for a long timesince COVID essentially.
Basically the idea of.
I think for a long time,weddings felt like something
where you had to inviteeverybody.
You had to invite everybody.
(15:39):
You ever knew all your parents,friends, and neighbors, and all
of that.
And I think once COVID hit andthere was like legitimate
restrictions on how many peoplecould be in person at the same
time.
It made people really rethinkwho, who is important and who
they really wanted to be there.
And I've definitely see thatkind of energy sort of continue
(16:01):
on throughout the years.
And I would love to see thatcontinue into 20, 24 as well.
Again, if your dream is havinglike a giant, huge freaking
party.
Do that that's amazing.
But I think.
Sometimes there's, there's stilla lot of big feelings with guest
(16:22):
counts and figuring that out.
And I just want the energy tocontinue going forward of
couples, feeling like.
We can invite who we want toinvite and who we feel good and
safe, inviting, and we're notgoing to carry the guilt of not
inviting certain people with us.
I get it.
It's not that easy.
It's again, it's not com.
Compartmentalized.
(16:43):
It's so different situation tosituation and person to person,
but I'm just hoping that thispositive energy surrounding
having smaller weddings andbeing more selective about who
you'd like there and who youfeel safe with having their
continues, because I thinkthat's super important.
Another thing for 2024 that I'dlove to see more of is for those
(17:05):
couples that are maybe straightpassing or maybe they just are
straight, whatever the casemight be, where the man changes
their last name.
I don't know.
I just think that's so cool.
I think it's, I think it's sofun.
I think it's like a cool way tojust like, Change the story, not
make it all about like thewomen.
(17:26):
Becoming part of the man and allof that, like, I don't know.
I just think it's so fun andcool.
Or even couples.
Hyphenating their names.
Whether you're in a straightpassing relationship or you're
in a queer relationship.
Like hyphenating names is so funand awesome.
I mean, some of y'all havereally, really.
A long complex names.
That makes me question this onea little bit, but.
(17:49):
Overall, I think thathyphenating names versus one of
you feeling like.
You have to change yours orhonestly, even couples like
keeping their own names too.
That's totally fine.
I think.
Everything surrounding lastnames.
Definitely needs to change, um,especially with queer queer
relationships where everybody'slike, oh, who's going to take,
(18:11):
who's named there's no man inthe relationship.
Oh my God.
I just think it's.
It should really be up to thecouple.
And I would love to see morelike support and energy from
family and friends aroundwhatever decision that they
decide to make.
The last thing that I will endwith is that I think inclusivity
(18:32):
and sustainability go hand inhand.
So I think there's definitelybeen more movements for people
making more eco-consciousdecisions on their day, from
what they serve to what theyserve at on to what their.
You know, their silverware ismade of too.
If there's confetti involved inthe day.
Things like that.
Um, people are definitelystarting to be more aware of
(18:53):
that.
And I think that the industry isstarting to support that more
and more.
And so in 2024, I woulddefinitely love to see that
energy continue, you know, Usingleaves instead of confetti, um,
yeah, just making consciousdecisions about what you're
serving, how much you'reserving.
(19:13):
How much trash you're creatingat your event?
All of that.
I think that.
There's just so muchintersectionality.
When it comes to inclusivity,sustainability, diversity, all
of those things.
And so.
Would love to just.
Keep making the wedding industrya more inclusive, sustainable
and diverse place that makeseverybody feel more welcome.
(19:36):
And it makes the world a betterplace.
So, Those are just a few ideas.
Obviously.
I think there's so many morethings that 20, 24 needs to have
happen.
But I'm also just really excitedto head into this next wedding
season and see what all of thecouples that I'm working with
too.
And see what.
All of y'all out there do.
And I'm also really excited tosee the kinds of things that
(19:59):
vendors start doing.
Right.
Because I think it's on us tostart some of these positive
trends as well.
So, thank you all for joining mefor this week's episode.
If you have ideas or things thatyou would love to see more of in
2024, please shoot me a DM atwildly connected photo on
Instagram.
Or just say hello.
It's super fun to connect withyou.
(20:21):
And chat with you on Instagram.
So please feel free to reach outany time.
And with that, I hope you allare having an amazing day or
evening or whenever you'relistening.
And I can't wait to see you backhere for next week's episode.
Bye.
Really beloved.
Welcome back to this week'sepisode.
My name is Ana.
I.
I use she, her pronouns and I'mwith wildly connected
photography, just in case you'renew around here.
If you're returning.
Welcome back.
Hi.
Hello.
So nice to see you or hear.
Yeah, I guess.
I hope you all are enjoying thistransition into winter season
(00:23):
and are getting ready for thecold and snow.
If you get snow where you are.
And yeah.
If you celebrate any holidaysthis time of year, hopefully
you're getting into that kind ofspirit to.
It's it's just so weird.
Like I swear.
I don't know.
I feel like the people in mylife.
Who know me know that I say thisall the time, about time just
(00:46):
being so strange.
Like I swear yesterday.
I swear yesterday, I woke up andit was the start of 2023.
And now it's like, it'sbasically 20, 24.
Let's be real.
So, yeah, I don't know.
So weird.
But.
Speaking of 20, 24, actually,before I started that, I would
(01:07):
love to.
Follow up from last week'sepisode, which if you haven't
listened to last week's episode,it was all about things that I'd
like to see die and stop in2023.
So please make sure to go givethat on a listen.
First before listening to thisone.
And I'm super curious for thoseof you who did listen.
(01:29):
And basically got the gist ofthe episode, which is that.
I would love to see.
The word bride stop being usedso widely, so much.
Just like is basically the wholewedding industry.
It feels like sometimes.
and so I would just love to seethat kind of really come to a
(01:51):
halt in 2023 or at the veryleast like just a bigger, more
inclusive idea of what the wordbride means.
So, anyway, all that is to sayis since that episode is
released, even in that shorttime, I've noticed it so much.
Like I was just at an event alittle bit ago with other
(02:11):
wedding industry professionalsand the, in the entire evening
was bride.
This bride, that bride andgroom, this bride and groom
that.
And it's so frustrating.
And so I'm just curious if anyof you have kind of noticed it.
Sentence.
And if so, please share you canDME.
At wildly connected photo and Iwould love.
(02:33):
Love to hear your thoughts.
And also.
I am starting to line up somequeer love stories for the end
of this year and going into nextyear.
So, if you would like to shareyour story with the people here,
um, so we can learn from you andrelate to you and all the
amazing things.
(02:54):
Again, please shoot me a DM atwildly connected photo on
Instagram.
And I would love to get you setup on the podcast.
And finally, before we dive intothe episode, The last, you know,
boring thing I'll say, I guessis.
I would love if those of you wholisten, could leave me a review
(03:15):
on whatever platform that youlisten on.
The crazy thing is about theseplatforms is that.
The more positive rating andreviews.
I get the more that it will showit to new people and I would
really love to connect with morecouples who could benefit from.
Hearing some of this hearingsome of your stories and also
would love to continue to.
(03:36):
Connect with other vendors inthe industry who are always
looking to get better.
So if you could take like 30seconds either now, or at the
end of the episode to justquick, leave me a review, that
would be so amazing.
I appreciate you all so, somuch.
So Let's dive into tone and 24.
Since last week's episode wasall about things that I'd like
(03:57):
to see kind of slow down.
Coming into this year.
I fear that I should touch onthings that I'd like to see more
of in 2024.
So.
Before I get into all thespecifics, I would like to say
that.
I think a lot of my podcastepisodes.
Can speak to both couples andvendors while some episodes of
(04:20):
course may speak a little bitmore to one or the other.
Um, I think that for this, like,this is something that applies
to, to couples and vendorsalmost equally, I would say.
Because it is our responsibilityto create the future in the
industry that we want to see.
(04:41):
And I think that it's a couple'sresponsibility in that at the
end of the day.
The couple's the one making thedecisions about.
You know where they want to be,how they want to spend their
time, what kinds of things theywant to spend their money on?
And of course I realized thatit's not always that simple.
Sometimes there's otherinfluences, whether it be
(05:02):
parents or friends or.
You know, feeling pressured todo trendy things.
Like, of course there's thoseinfluences, but.
At the end of the day, it is acouple of kind of making those
decisions and the vendors whoare trying to.
Uphold with a couple lawns.
And at the same time, I thinkvendors have the responsibility
of making suggestions, offeringnew ideas.
(05:25):
Two couples.
And even beyond that, you know,talking to other industry
professionals, Helping them seethat, that things can change
that there's other options, um,and changing things in your own
business are super powerful.
So I think that it takes both ofus to start seeing the changes
that we want to see in theindustry.
(05:45):
So my hope is that couples andvendors alike can really work
together on making thesechanges.
And I'd like to start withsomething that I heard, actually
listening to a podcast episodewith Priya Parker that can link
below.
Who is the author of the art ofgathering, which have not yet
read, but after listening tothis episode and listening to a
(06:08):
few others talk about, I reallywant to read it because it just
sounds so good.
But in this podcast episode, sheactually used weddings as an
example, for a point she wastrying to make.
And I just thought it was sointeresting and it like clicked
in my brain and made so muchsense.
So she essentially was saying.
That for weddings.
(06:29):
There's this whole idea of.
Couples feeling so trappedbecause they feel caught in
between.
Tradition of like weddings are avery like traditional thing
where you do things, how they'vealways been done.
There's lots of traditioninvolved in the day.
And at the same time wanting tochange that because there are
(06:50):
things that are harmful or feelmisogynistic or heteronormative
or whatever it might be.
And so they feel kind of caughtbetween a rock and a hard place
because it's sort of like, well,we want to honor those
traditions, but we also want tochange.
And make room for new kinds oflove stories, and new kinds of
things that feel.
(07:12):
Healthier and more welcoming andaccepting to all, but there's no
roadmap for that.
Um, she also used like babyshowers as an example of, you
know, Oh, that can feel so honedin on like the mom and
everything that the mom's goingto have to do in that
relationship.
When.
There are some people who maybethere's two moms, first of all,
(07:35):
or beyond that.
They just want it to feel like amore equal.
Parenting partnership and not.
You know, focus on the mom andthe mom duties and all of that.
Um, So it was a superinteresting episode.
I will link it below, but.
I just think that that made alot of sense, right?
Where we're in this, this placein time, or we recognize that.
(07:59):
The way things.
Ha how things have always beendone is not how they should
necessarily continue to be.
And we don't necessarily knowwhat that means.
There's no like, okay, well, ifthis isn't the answer, then we
should do this.
So I think.
I think we're also a generationfull of people who want to make
the world a better place.
(08:21):
And so I hope that the couplesand vendors.
Here feel inspired and empoweredto make those changes, knowing
that there's not necessarily aright or wrong, as long as we're
working together to try to make.
To make 20, 24 better.
And then 2025 and then 2026.
So.
I will get off my soap box,although not really because I'm
(08:43):
here on a podcast.
But.
I, I just think that's a reallygood base for us to start from,
because this episode is notsupposed to be about like, Ooh,
this color palette is gonnareally.
Pop off in 2024 or.
You know, have low stakes.
Odd your Dean's floor.
(09:03):
It's it's not necessarily aboutthose kinds of trends.
Um, I think it's just like areally good base for us to all
start from to recognize thatwe're sort of in this new
territory, Trying to explore andfigure out how we want to change
while also still honoring thosetraditions.
If they feel right for us.
Diving into some of the morespecific things of trends I'd
(09:28):
love to see more of in 2024.
I think actually some of thelittlest things can make.
Way for the biggest changes.
So for example, like a lot ofthings that I saw this year were
things like couples choosing adifferent kind of dessert, like
donuts or.
Smaller as, or things like thatover like a traditional cake.
(09:51):
Um, or even things like the dayof the week that your wedding
happens or the time of the daythat the celebration is held.
I know, like it might sound kindof silly, but I think all of
those things like signal to theworld that we're no longer
having to do things the way weused to.
Cause I just think about likeeven 10, 20 years ago, it felt
(10:14):
like still at that time, youronly option was to get married
in some sort of religiousinstitution on a Saturday
afternoon.
Like that's just what happened.
That was it.
And now people are gettingmarried in barns.
So, you know, we've come a longway.
But all that is to say, like, Idon't think that happened
overnight.
It wasn't like one day.
(10:36):
Churches and the next day barnsand.
Industrial buildings.
Like I think there was probablythings that happened along the
way.
And so I think that we need tokeep that energy going into
2024.
Everything from desserts to timeof day to all of those little
changes that just feel more likeyou or are right for you are
(10:57):
going to continue to show peoplelike, Hey.
Things are changing and it'sokay.
And we're going to do this onestep at a time.
So keep doing the little thingsthat feel most like you.
Another thing that of course isgoing to make me sound like a
broken record.
But just, it needs to be aconstant reminder as we're all
(11:18):
growing together is just moreuse of the word couple versus
Brian and groom.
I've definitely seen so muchmore of that this, this year
than any other year I've been inthe industry, I would say, but.
I definitely still see lots ofslip-ups or.
People like having it just likein their written out scripts,
things like that.
So, We definitely have room toimprove.
(11:41):
But I have a lot of hope.
I do see a lot of vendorscatching themselves or just
being more conscious.
So.
Let's keep up that energy in2024, we're keeping things
neutral.
We're keeping things inclusive.
It's going to be great.
So another thing is.
Relating to what couples whereon their day.
And I know this one might getsome mixed reviews because.
(12:05):
The whole like wearing white orwearing black or wearing black
and white, it feels very, itfeels very wedding.
Which.
It is because that's how thingshave been done since the 18
hundreds.
I should make a disclaimerbefore I dive too deep into the,
into this, that this is mostlytalking about weddings that
happen in America.
(12:26):
Or in mostly white bodied folksor people that don't otherwise
have other.
Cultural ties and heritage.
So.
I'm well aware of that.
In other, other traditions,other cultures that the colors
are not white and black.
So that is.
Great and amazing.
But for weddings that happen.
(12:48):
Here in America.
Or that has been kind of thepractice for a long, long time.
Just, uh, yeah, you canreference my old episode that
talks about.
Old wedding traditions that alsoneed to die in a hole.
And I'm definitely not sayingthat about wearing white and
black.
I think some people feel verystrongly about that and want
(13:09):
that.
And I.
Support that.
As with a lot of traditions, Ithink it's up to each individual
person, what they want to do.
Um, but there are some weirdties, right?
Like wearing white has to dowith innocence and morality and
virginity and, There are peoplethat say the groom is supposed
to wear black because it.
You know, Puts more attentionback on the brides and.
(13:32):
That's what the day is allabout.
You know, exhibit 1,000,003 ofthe use of the word bride.
So.
Oh, that is the same.
Just because that's how it'salways been done does not mean
that you have to do it.
And of course, If it feels rightfor you by all means do it.
(13:52):
But I've seen so many weddingsover this past year, this past
two years, honestly, wherecouples have found really fun
and creative ways to involvecolor in their outfits, whether
it's like half of their outfitbeing a color or.
Maybe later in the evening, theychange into a different outfit
that is more colorful or theyjust wear color all day long.
(14:14):
Like, I think.
Just wear what feels good toyou?
Like you don't have.
People always say that, like, ifyou don't wear why or you don't
wear black than you don't look,quote unquote bridal area,
doesn't look like a wedding.
That just think that's so false.
Like where literally where,whatever the heck you want.
You are still going to lookamazing if you're wearing red,
(14:35):
you're not going toautomatically not be a bride or
not be a merrier, just because.
You're not wearing white.
I digress.
Please.
I just would like you to knowthat you can wear whatever
colors you would like on yourwedding.
And I have lots of cool examplesof couples doing that on their
day.
So.
(14:56):
If you would like to see someexamples, feel free to reach out
to me anytime.
Another thing is that.
In 2023 SL um, or venues andspaces, trying to make efforts
to make bathrooms just feel moreinclusive, um, whether it's
single stalls or making some ofthem gender neutral or figuring
out creative ways to make it amore communal space.
(15:18):
I love it.
We love to see it.
Let's keep that going up in2024.
And another thing.
This one.
I think has sort of been.
In the works for a long timesince COVID essentially.
Basically the idea of.
I think for a long time,weddings felt like something
where you had to inviteeverybody.
You had to invite everybody.
(15:39):
You ever knew all your parents,friends, and neighbors, and all
of that.
And I think once COVID hit andthere was like legitimate
restrictions on how many peoplecould be in person at the same
time.
It made people really rethinkwho, who is important and who
they really wanted to be there.
And I've definitely see thatkind of energy sort of continue
(16:01):
on throughout the years.
And I would love to see thatcontinue into 20, 24 as well.
Again, if your dream is havinglike a giant, huge freaking
party.
Do that that's amazing.
But I think.
Sometimes there's, there's stilla lot of big feelings with guest
(16:22):
counts and figuring that out.
And I just want the energy tocontinue going forward of
couples, feeling like.
We can invite who we want toinvite and who we feel good and
safe, inviting, and we're notgoing to carry the guilt of not
inviting certain people with us.
I get it.
It's not that easy.
It's again, it's not com.
Compartmentalized.
(16:43):
It's so different situation tosituation and person to person,
but I'm just hoping that thispositive energy surrounding
having smaller weddings andbeing more selective about who
you'd like there and who youfeel safe with having their
continues, because I thinkthat's super important.
Another thing for 2024 that I'dlove to see more of is for those
(17:05):
couples that are maybe straightpassing or maybe they just are
straight, whatever the casemight be, where the man changes
their last name.
I don't know.
I just think that's so cool.
I think it's, I think it's sofun.
I think it's like a cool way tojust like, Change the story, not
make it all about like thewomen.
(17:26):
Becoming part of the man and allof that, like, I don't know.
I just think it's so fun andcool.
Or even couples.
Hyphenating their names.
Whether you're in a straightpassing relationship or you're
in a queer relationship.
Like hyphenating names is so funand awesome.
I mean, some of y'all havereally, really.
A long complex names.
That makes me question this onea little bit, but.
(17:49):
Overall, I think thathyphenating names versus one of
you feeling like.
You have to change yours orhonestly, even couples like
keeping their own names too.
That's totally fine.
I think.
Everything surrounding lastnames.
Definitely needs to change, um,especially with queer queer
relationships where everybody'slike, oh, who's going to take,
(18:11):
who's named there's no man inthe relationship.
Oh my God.
I just think it's.
It should really be up to thecouple.
And I would love to see morelike support and energy from
family and friends aroundwhatever decision that they
decide to make.
The last thing that I will endwith is that I think inclusivity
(18:32):
and sustainability go hand inhand.
So I think there's definitelybeen more movements for people
making more eco-consciousdecisions on their day, from
what they serve to what theyserve at on to what their.
You know, their silverware ismade of too.
If there's confetti involved inthe day.
Things like that.
Um, people are definitelystarting to be more aware of
(18:53):
that.
And I think that the industry isstarting to support that more
and more.
And so in 2024, I woulddefinitely love to see that
energy continue, you know, Usingleaves instead of confetti, um,
yeah, just making consciousdecisions about what you're
serving, how much you'reserving.
(19:13):
How much trash you're creatingat your event?
All of that.
I think that.
There's just so muchintersectionality.
When it comes to inclusivity,sustainability, diversity, all
of those things.
And so.
Would love to just.
Keep making the wedding industrya more inclusive, sustainable
and diverse place that makeseverybody feel more welcome.
(19:36):
And it makes the world a betterplace.
So, Those are just a few ideas.
Obviously.
I think there's so many morethings that 20, 24 needs to have
happen.
But I'm also just really excitedto head into this next wedding
season and see what all of thecouples that I'm working with
too.
And see what.
All of y'all out there do.
And I'm also really excited tosee the kinds of things that
(19:59):
vendors start doing.
Right.
Because I think it's on us tostart some of these positive
trends as well.
So, thank you all for joining mefor this week's episode.
If you have ideas or things thatyou would love to see more of in
2024, please shoot me a DM atwildly connected photo on
Instagram.
Or just say hello.
It's super fun to connect withyou.
(20:21):
And chat with you on Instagram.
So please feel free to reach outany time.
And with that, I hope you allare having an amazing day or
evening or whenever you'relistening.
And I can't wait to see you backhere for next week's episode.
Bye.
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