January 8, 2025 • 12 mins
Let's talk about who you choose to present on your wedding day and how you can add your own queer touch! Everything from your hair and makeup to what you decide to wear is a representation of how you want to authentically present on your wedding day! Let's talk about it!
The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic
Queerly Beloved, I'm so glad you joined!
Please keep the community going by checking me out on instagram @wildlyconnectedphoto and come say hi! I'd love to hear from you! :)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Microphone (Yeti Stere (00:00):
Weirdly.
(00:02):
what's up friends.
I am back with another littlemini series, episode, clarifying
parts of your wedding.
And today we're going to talkabout your presentation and how
to clarify that in your own way.
I'm so excited about this,because I think this topic just.
(00:24):
Really thrives in the queercommunity.
Yeah.
And I think that's because inorder to, to live as a queer
person, you've had to really.
Kind of.
Struggle with your identity.
And I think that looks differentfor everybody.
Like maybe some people didn'tnecessarily struggle, but I
think regardless of, of what itlooks like you've had to like,
(00:47):
think about.
Okay.
Like how, how do I identify?
How do I present?
And you get to like play aroundwith it a lot more, obviously.
Our great allies can also dothat, but I think.
Just because so many queer folkshave had to go on this journey
of like figuring out who theyare and whether that's, you
(01:09):
know, shifted their genderidentity or just how they want
to present, because.
We're living outside of thetraditional mold of how men and
women kind of traditionallypresent.
And so I think it's just such afun opportunity for folks to
really figure out how they wantto present on their wedding day.
(01:33):
As per usual, I think there'sabsolutely nothing wrong.
If you and your future spousedecide that you want to do
something, that's just like veryclassic.
But I think.
Even just thinking about theidea of like, oh, could I add a
touch of color or, you know, doI want to do something different
or maybe you want to dosomething that's like totally
(01:54):
outside of the box.
I think, yeah.
Queer weddings.
Just lend themselves so well tolike doing whatever you want.
So let's talk about it.
So I wanted to talk kind of herebriefly about both hair and
makeup and outfits.
So starting with the idea ofhair and makeup, I think.
That this is also a really funopportunity to like, think
(02:16):
about.
Do I want to do yeah.
Some like very colorful.
I shadow.
Do I want to do something?
That's not just like thetraditional classic wedding
glam.
So I think there's that aspectof it, but I also.
I think something that I've hada really hard time with.
Uh, being in the weddingindustry for so long.
(02:39):
As I think there's a lot ofstigma around either men.
Or just like masculine folks ingeneral, interacting with hair
and makeup.
I think there's just like a lotof things.
In our society that kind ofsocialized men to be like, oh
no, I just, you know, I get upand go in the shower and leave
(02:59):
in the morning and I don't doanything and I don't wash my
face and I don't want to make upbecause that's girly, you know,
like there's just a lot of thosekinds of ideas that are shared.
And of course again, ifultimately that's how, how you
want to present, like that'stotally fine.
But I think that we can dobetter at just like letting
(03:21):
everyone know regardless of howthey identify or present that
like hair and makeup is foreveryone.
And even if you identify like,as a man or as a groom, like
you're still allowed to have,you know, even if it's something
just as simple as like someconcealer, like.
I just,
Microphone (Yeti Stereo M (03:41):
yeah.
I feel like people get so weirdabout it.
Whether it's, you know, thegroom or the person who's a
little bit more masculinethemselves, or whether it's like
hair and makeup artists who werelike, oh, I don't really offer
that.
Like, I just, I think thatthere's still a little bit of
weirdness around this.
And so I just want to say like,Again, Heron makeup is for
(04:05):
everybody.
And it doesn't mean that like,Just because you aren't
interested in that you have todo a full glam look, right.
And so I think it's just reallyimportant to keep in mind.
Both for us as photographers whoare like talking to our couples
as well as like hair and makeupartists and things like that.
(04:25):
You should just never assume.
Right.
I think it would be reallyharmful to approach a wedding
that might have two grooms andjust automatically assume
they're not interested in herein makeup.
They're not going to do anythingfun.
Like.
That's just so that's.
So last year I think.
That however you present.
And however you identify, likeyou're allowed to, you know,
(04:48):
want help with that on your day.
You're also just allowed tolike, have fun with it.
Like.
I have seen some people whoidentify as grooms and they like
do wear a full face of makeupand that's like so fun and
amazing.
And even for like lesbians thatmight lean a bit, a little bit
more mask, like you're alsoallowed to get help with your
hair and makeup and it doesn'thave to be anything super
(05:09):
feminine.
Right.
So, I guess my point is for usas vendors just.
Don't assume like people mightso want help finding a vendor
like that.
And.
For couples, like do whateverthe heck you want and go on
Pinterest, like look at someideas of some fun things that
people have done and, and seewhat speaks to you because the
(05:32):
world's your oyster.
I should also note too, that Ihave an old episode on here with
palindrome hair, where we kindof talk about.
Hair and makeup a little bitmore in depth.
So definitely go check out thatepisode.
It's a little bit earlier on, ifyou want to talk about this or
learn about this more in depth.
And then I wanted to quicklytouch on.
(05:54):
Outfits and the things that youwear on your wedding and how you
could potentially sort ofclarify that.
So, Again, this just goes backto like, I think as queer
people, we get to just like,have so much fun exploring.
How we want to present.
And so it's like, Do you want towear a suit?
(06:14):
Do you want to wear a dress?
Right?
Like there's no.
There's not that like hugeexpectation.
Cause it's just kind of like.
Your weddings already viewed isuntraditional.
So like, how do you wanna runwith that?
I yeah.
In my time.
I've just been so grateful tosee it all, like, you know,
Everything from like masklesbians to wearing suits, to
(06:37):
even more like femme presentingpeople wearing suits.
I've seen people who identify asgrooms or lean a little bit more
masculine.
I've seen them wear dresses ordo things like add a little bit
of femininity into their outfitsby maybe adding like a Cape or.
Something, that's not just likea super fitted suit.
(06:58):
And then there's also startingto become some options that are
a little bit more in between.
Like I've seen.
These really awesome outfitswhere.
Maybe it's kind of a take on.
Uh, a shirt and pants, but thenbehind the pants, there's like
something that kind of attacheson the back that gives it, that
sort of dress like field.
(07:19):
And so I think there's somereally, really great options for
things that are in between too.
I think.
We definitely could use more.
Cause I know that there's plentyof folks who don't really want
to lean super heavily one way orthe other.
But I think that another really,really fun option for that could
be is like an outfit change.
Now, I know that's kind of beena trend happening over the last
(07:41):
couple of years.
Particularly when talking aboutstraight weddings.
It usually is the ride.
We'll change into something likekind of fun or like maybe
shorter for the dance floor.
But in this case, I think.
A really great option for you tokind of get the best of both
worlds, especially if you'relike, oh, I don't know if I want
(08:03):
like a dress or suit or like, Ijust don't know, like having an
outfit change, I think could bea really fun way to incorporate
that in.
Obviously, yes.
There's sometimes an additionalcost that comes with that.
So you have to figure out what'swhat's right for you, but maybe
you want to wear your addressfor your ceremony.
And then.
(08:24):
Either you can wait till thedance floor, or if you want to
give it some more time to beable to have it in more photos
and wear it more, you could doit, you know, right before the
dinner starts or something likethat.
And then you change into a suitor a jumpsuit, or, you know, I
think there's just so manyoptions and in such a fun way to
get to kind of play with bothsides.
So.
I encourage you to yes.
(08:47):
Like go on Pinterest, eventhough I know this sounds like a
plug also feel free to check outmy Instagram.
I feel like I've had so manyawesome couples who have just
been so creative with everythingfrom their outfits to.
Their hair and makeup to theiroutfit changes.
So yeah, just do some thinking.
Do some research, do somePinteresting.
(09:09):
See what feels right for you andjust know that like, The world's
your oyster, and you've alreadyhad to come so far with, with
realizing your authentic self.
And so I want that authenticenergy to carry into your
wedding day.
Right?
And I should also note too, thatlike, sometimes there's
something about weddings thatmight feel like.
(09:32):
Yeah, I just, I think weddingsfeel like a totally different
world.
Right?
So I'm saying that because forme personally, I don't wear
dresses.
Like they're just not myfavorite.
They don't feel like me anymore.
I honestly don't think I've worna dress.
And maybe like two years, ifnot, a little bit more.
But for whatever reason on mywedding day, like that's, so
(09:54):
what I picture myself and that'safter like thinking through
different options.
And so I think that there's justsomething about weddings that
really like allow us to justfeel like.
This is a really fun and specialday.
And like, it might be differentthan my day to day life.
And that gives me opportunity tolike play around and experiment
and see what feels good to me.
(10:16):
So, I'm going to stop yapping asper usual, but I hope that this
inspires you to just, yeah, justhave fun with it.
And.
Try different things and go to adress appointment, go to a suit
appointment.
You know, look at, look atdifferent queer resources out
there.
And I'm also going to link ablog in the show notes to some
(10:40):
resources I have on my blogabout queer outfits and all of
that as well.
Thank you all So.
much for tuning into this fondmini series.
I hope you all are doing amazingand I can't wait to see you
soon.
Weirdly.
(00:02):
what's up friends.
I am back with another littlemini series, episode, clarifying
parts of your wedding.
And today we're going to talkabout your presentation and how
to clarify that in your own way.
I'm so excited about this,because I think this topic just.
(00:24):
Really thrives in the queercommunity.
Yeah.
And I think that's because inorder to, to live as a queer
person, you've had to really.
Kind of.
Struggle with your identity.
And I think that looks differentfor everybody.
Like maybe some people didn'tnecessarily struggle, but I
think regardless of, of what itlooks like you've had to like,
(00:47):
think about.
Okay.
Like how, how do I identify?
How do I present?
And you get to like play aroundwith it a lot more, obviously.
Our great allies can also dothat, but I think.
Just because so many queer folkshave had to go on this journey
of like figuring out who theyare and whether that's, you
(01:09):
know, shifted their genderidentity or just how they want
to present, because.
We're living outside of thetraditional mold of how men and
women kind of traditionallypresent.
And so I think it's just such afun opportunity for folks to
really figure out how they wantto present on their wedding day.
(01:33):
As per usual, I think there'sabsolutely nothing wrong.
If you and your future spousedecide that you want to do
something, that's just like veryclassic.
But I think.
Even just thinking about theidea of like, oh, could I add a
touch of color or, you know, doI want to do something different
or maybe you want to dosomething that's like totally
(01:54):
outside of the box.
I think, yeah.
Queer weddings.
Just lend themselves so well tolike doing whatever you want.
So let's talk about it.
So I wanted to talk kind of herebriefly about both hair and
makeup and outfits.
So starting with the idea ofhair and makeup, I think.
That this is also a really funopportunity to like, think
(02:16):
about.
Do I want to do yeah.
Some like very colorful.
I shadow.
Do I want to do something?
That's not just like thetraditional classic wedding
glam.
So I think there's that aspectof it, but I also.
I think something that I've hada really hard time with.
Uh, being in the weddingindustry for so long.
(02:39):
As I think there's a lot ofstigma around either men.
Or just like masculine folks ingeneral, interacting with hair
and makeup.
I think there's just like a lotof things.
In our society that kind ofsocialized men to be like, oh
no, I just, you know, I get upand go in the shower and leave
(02:59):
in the morning and I don't doanything and I don't wash my
face and I don't want to make upbecause that's girly, you know,
like there's just a lot of thosekinds of ideas that are shared.
And of course again, ifultimately that's how, how you
want to present, like that'stotally fine.
But I think that we can dobetter at just like letting
(03:21):
everyone know regardless of howthey identify or present that
like hair and makeup is foreveryone.
And even if you identify like,as a man or as a groom, like
you're still allowed to have,you know, even if it's something
just as simple as like someconcealer, like.
I just,
Microphone (Yeti Stereo M (03:41):
yeah.
I feel like people get so weirdabout it.
Whether it's, you know, thegroom or the person who's a
little bit more masculinethemselves, or whether it's like
hair and makeup artists who werelike, oh, I don't really offer
that.
Like, I just, I think thatthere's still a little bit of
weirdness around this.
And so I just want to say like,Again, Heron makeup is for
(04:05):
everybody.
And it doesn't mean that like,Just because you aren't
interested in that you have todo a full glam look, right.
And so I think it's just reallyimportant to keep in mind.
Both for us as photographers whoare like talking to our couples
as well as like hair and makeupartists and things like that.
(04:25):
You should just never assume.
Right.
I think it would be reallyharmful to approach a wedding
that might have two grooms andjust automatically assume
they're not interested in herein makeup.
They're not going to do anythingfun.
Like.
That's just so that's.
So last year I think.
That however you present.
And however you identify, likeyou're allowed to, you know,
(04:48):
want help with that on your day.
You're also just allowed tolike, have fun with it.
Like.
I have seen some people whoidentify as grooms and they like
do wear a full face of makeupand that's like so fun and
amazing.
And even for like lesbians thatmight lean a bit, a little bit
more mask, like you're alsoallowed to get help with your
hair and makeup and it doesn'thave to be anything super
(05:09):
feminine.
Right.
So, I guess my point is for usas vendors just.
Don't assume like people mightso want help finding a vendor
like that.
And.
For couples, like do whateverthe heck you want and go on
Pinterest, like look at someideas of some fun things that
people have done and, and seewhat speaks to you because the
(05:32):
world's your oyster.
I should also note too, that Ihave an old episode on here with
palindrome hair, where we kindof talk about.
Hair and makeup a little bitmore in depth.
So definitely go check out thatepisode.
It's a little bit earlier on, ifyou want to talk about this or
learn about this more in depth.
And then I wanted to quicklytouch on.
(05:54):
Outfits and the things that youwear on your wedding and how you
could potentially sort ofclarify that.
So, Again, this just goes backto like, I think as queer
people, we get to just like,have so much fun exploring.
How we want to present.
And so it's like, Do you want towear a suit?
(06:14):
Do you want to wear a dress?
Right?
Like there's no.
There's not that like hugeexpectation.
Cause it's just kind of like.
Your weddings already viewed isuntraditional.
So like, how do you wanna runwith that?
I yeah.
In my time.
I've just been so grateful tosee it all, like, you know,
Everything from like masklesbians to wearing suits, to
(06:37):
even more like femme presentingpeople wearing suits.
I've seen people who identify asgrooms or lean a little bit more
masculine.
I've seen them wear dresses ordo things like add a little bit
of femininity into their outfitsby maybe adding like a Cape or.
Something, that's not just likea super fitted suit.
(06:58):
And then there's also startingto become some options that are
a little bit more in between.
Like I've seen.
These really awesome outfitswhere.
Maybe it's kind of a take on.
Uh, a shirt and pants, but thenbehind the pants, there's like
something that kind of attacheson the back that gives it, that
sort of dress like field.
(07:19):
And so I think there's somereally, really great options for
things that are in between too.
I think.
We definitely could use more.
Cause I know that there's plentyof folks who don't really want
to lean super heavily one way orthe other.
But I think that another really,really fun option for that could
be is like an outfit change.
Now, I know that's kind of beena trend happening over the last
(07:41):
couple of years.
Particularly when talking aboutstraight weddings.
It usually is the ride.
We'll change into something likekind of fun or like maybe
shorter for the dance floor.
But in this case, I think.
A really great option for you tokind of get the best of both
worlds, especially if you'relike, oh, I don't know if I want
(08:03):
like a dress or suit or like, Ijust don't know, like having an
outfit change, I think could bea really fun way to incorporate
that in.
Obviously, yes.
There's sometimes an additionalcost that comes with that.
So you have to figure out what'swhat's right for you, but maybe
you want to wear your addressfor your ceremony.
And then.
(08:24):
Either you can wait till thedance floor, or if you want to
give it some more time to beable to have it in more photos
and wear it more, you could doit, you know, right before the
dinner starts or something likethat.
And then you change into a suitor a jumpsuit, or, you know, I
think there's just so manyoptions and in such a fun way to
get to kind of play with bothsides.
So.
I encourage you to yes.
(08:47):
Like go on Pinterest, eventhough I know this sounds like a
plug also feel free to check outmy Instagram.
I feel like I've had so manyawesome couples who have just
been so creative with everythingfrom their outfits to.
Their hair and makeup to theiroutfit changes.
So yeah, just do some thinking.
Do some research, do somePinteresting.
(09:09):
See what feels right for you andjust know that like, The world's
your oyster, and you've alreadyhad to come so far with, with
realizing your authentic self.
And so I want that authenticenergy to carry into your
wedding day.
Right?
And I should also note too, thatlike, sometimes there's
something about weddings thatmight feel like.
(09:32):
Yeah, I just, I think weddingsfeel like a totally different
world.
Right?
So I'm saying that because forme personally, I don't wear
dresses.
Like they're just not myfavorite.
They don't feel like me anymore.
I honestly don't think I've worna dress.
And maybe like two years, ifnot, a little bit more.
But for whatever reason on mywedding day, like that's, so
(09:54):
what I picture myself and that'safter like thinking through
different options.
And so I think that there's justsomething about weddings that
really like allow us to justfeel like.
This is a really fun and specialday.
And like, it might be differentthan my day to day life.
And that gives me opportunity tolike play around and experiment
and see what feels good to me.
(10:16):
So, I'm going to stop yapping asper usual, but I hope that this
inspires you to just, yeah, justhave fun with it.
And.
Try different things and go to adress appointment, go to a suit
appointment.
You know, look at, look atdifferent queer resources out
there.
And I'm also going to link ablog in the show notes to some
(10:40):
resources I have on my blogabout queer outfits and all of
that as well.
Thank you all So.
much for tuning into this fondmini series.
I hope you all are doing amazingand I can't wait to see you
soon.
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