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July 4, 2025 76 mins

She was 13 when they told her she had ADD.

So they gave her Ritalin.

That turned into coke.

Then meth.

But the real problem?

It was never focus.

It was dissociation.

Disconnection.

A nervous system stuck in survival.

In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Selden Beylouni opens up about her journey from diagnosis to addiction to something even rarer… authenticity.

We talk stimulants, freeze states, functional dissociation and the brutal beauty of finally landing in your body.

If you’ve ever been told you have ADD…

If stimulants helped you function but left you feeling hollow…

If something’s always felt off and you’ve never had the words for it...

This episode will name it.

And maybe, for the first time, make it make sense.

In This Episode with Selden Beylouni, You'll Discover:

  • Why Ritalin worked so well… and why that was the most dangerous part
  • What it really means when you can’t feel your feet
  • How functional freeze hides behind high achievement
  • The unspoken grief of breaking up with the drugs that saved you
  • Why “ADD” isn’t a diagnosis - it’s a disguise
  • The difference between spiritual floatiness and true embodiment - and why it matters more than you think
  • Why she doesn’t need Ritalin anymore - and what she uses instead
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