The Santa Fundamentalist EP 24

Episode Transcript

Ethan (00:00):
Raising joyful children in an angry world, a podcast
dedicated to faithful parentsnavigating their families
through a stormy culture.
This is Raising Joyful Childrenin an Angry World.
I'm your host, Paul Osborne.
After seeing another video of achild terrified of Santa in the
family group text, I wanted toshare a humorous and possibly

(00:23):
embarrassing Christmas story Icall The Santa Fundamentalist,
discussed with my youngestdaughter, Michelle, earlier this
year.
You are a current believer orhave believers in your car, this
is a spoiler alert.
You do not want to listen tothis episode.
Now, if you're a committed Santaevangelist skip this episode.

(00:44):
The Santa Claus Fundamentalist.
Okay,.
So, as you know, all of you,went to a Christian academy and
there were, pretty much aconservative Christian, value
points.
And then in our.
Christmas is a really big deal.

(01:04):
Huge.
Yeah.
I mean, absolutely huge.
So we're starting off sometimeafter Thanksgiving.
We're gonna go out into, sort ofthe rural part of the Pittsburgh
area.
We're gonna cut down a Christmastree.
We're gonna completelyredecorate the house.
it's your mom's favoriteholiday, so the dishes are gonna
be Christmas dishes.
The glasses that we drink out ofare going to be, decorated.

(01:27):
Everything in the house is gonnabe rede.
Yeah.
And, and yet at the same time,it's all done because of a, very
strongly held belief that thisis the greatest story ever told,
that this is God's gift tohumanity that God is not
obligated to do, but he givesthe gift of himself by the

(01:49):
person of the son wrappingthemself in humanity in order to
redeem humanity.
And without humanity being ableto redeem itself, it's
completely a gift of grace.
But Santa Claus is like, Scroogeis like frosty the snowman.

(02:10):
He is part of all of thecelebration.
So we're gonna watch Miracle on41st Street or 43rd Street, or
whatever it is, You know, andit's about, the spirit of
giving.
We're gonna watch Frosty, we'regonna watch the Christmas
movies, but we're going topresent all of this as.
you know, fictional characters.

(02:31):
Now we're not really sittinghere talking about the, the word
fiction necessarily to youngchildren, but they're not
presented in, a way that this islike a real thing.
In fact, we would even say that,that Saint Nicholas is an
ancient saint who was a greatwealth, gave his money.

(02:51):
Sold off a bunch of assets andthen would give his money to
poor children.
And in particularly ChristmasEve, he would distribute gifts
out to, to, you know, the poorchildren.
And that's really where thestory comes from.
So this all fits in, and there'sa part of Santa Claus that fits
in into this, this giving of, ofoneself.

(03:12):
And then there are folks who.
Kind of have a different view onthis and the, the American Santa
Clause.
is very different, than kind ofthe story that you might see
around the rest of the world.
Kind of starts with Coca-Cola.
I don't know if it's, you know,pre 1925 Coke or post 1925 Coke.

(03:33):
That's a little inside Coca-Colahistory.
Well, but the red and whiteSanta Claus, that's their label.
That's their logo.
That's kind of, they, they tookthat figure.
Well, I think we have to pausefor one second and state.
From an American traditionalperspective, we need to say that
our family did not participatein the Santa Claus concept.

(03:54):
No, we, we said that Santa Clauswas largely like, the, to
celebrate the holiday.
He was part of, variousfictional characters that tell
the story of Christmas.
Right?
We, but we're, we're not gonnaleave the central part of
Christmas, which is about JesusChrist.
To the Earth.
Right.
So we, just to fully describethis, we did not receive

(04:18):
presents from Santa.
We never thought that Santa camedown our chimney, which we
didn't have a fireplace anyways.
We didn't believe that SantaClaus came to our house, went on
the roof, put.
We never put out cookies forSanta.
Right.
We just, our gifts were from ourparents and we, that's what we
believed we were.
Right.
So not believed.
It was just the reality of it.

(04:39):
right?
It, it's, wow.
Right.
So, so when I tell this story,this is the Santa Claus
fundamentalist story.
there are, as you know, thatkind of starts, I believe
somewhere as a figure thatCoca-Cola is using, promote its
product.
It's a red and white, uh, sodaand red and white Santa Clause.
It, it just was a, it was great.

(04:59):
And so of course the rest of theAmerican culture of it's
literature, it's music, it'sfilms, sort of takes this thing
and runs with it.
And it's all supposed to be, atleast in my view, it's supposed
to be a funny story or someteasing that maybe we do with
children.
Oh, you know, were you good?

(05:20):
But I never want people to thinkor didn't want the kids to think
that you get a gift becauseyou're good.
We, we get the gift of Christdespite the fact that we're not
good.
And so I don't want something tokind of contradict that, but we
can play, we can have fun, wecan enjoy the story of it.
But then there are thesefamilies that are what I call

(05:43):
Santa Claus fundamentalist.
They take very seriously thecannons of Santa and they
describe this, um, story ofwhich Santa Claus is in the
North Pole, and you write him aletter as to what gifts you.
And then on Christmas Eve, Santais going to come through the

(06:05):
neighborhood.
He's going to go down a chimneyand he's going to put, uh, the
presence into your house andyour fill your stockings up and,
you know, the, the, the gamegets played where?
You know, you, you take thecookies and they're half eaten
or some of them are gone.
The cocoa has drank.
Uh, some parents will dress upas Santa Claus in case the kid

(06:28):
wakes up and sees they want tosee that there's the figure
there.
So this, it's, it's presentednot in a fictional fun, frosty
the snowman Rudolph the rednose, reindeer way.
But like, no, this is a seriouscannon.
And I don't know, I thinksometimes we get caught up in
the fun of it as parents.
But anyway.
So there's the three of you.

(06:50):
Your oldest, uh, sister is inthe fifth grade, which makes her
about 11 and a half or 11, andher friend is there, who's also
in the fifth grade, who is 11and a half going on 12.
And who is in a family of SantaFundamental?
Now, one of the things that wealways said when you went to

(07:12):
school was, look, you know, thisis how we see this.
This is what we believe to bethe, the way we should do it,
but we don't have the right tospoil other people.
Some people actually get caughtup in this story and so, you
know, just let them do what theywant to do.
You don't have the right to goaround popping people's bubbles.
But any rate, on this particularday, this gal doesn't have any
sisters, has an older brother,comes to the.

(07:36):
and it's around the holidays.
And so of course our house iscompletely decorated and the
three of you and this, uh,friend of your older sisters are
playing upstairs and she seesthat we don't have a chimney.
And she says, oh my, how doesSanta get into your house if you

(07:56):
don't have a chim?
Now, I'm not sure if this was,Hey, I'm starting to have some
doubts.
I mean, 11 and a half seems likepretty old to be still believing
in Santa Claus.
Well, we don't really have anycontext because we never did.
So we didn't know how long thelie could go.
Well, exactly.
Ex, exactly.
I don't know what that's like.

(08:17):
She's having doubts and askingquestions or this is like
sincere curiosity.
you know, are, we are, somehow,uh, unfortunate enough not to
have a chimney and, and what isthe, uh, alternative plan to
make this thing work?
And I tend to believe that itwas the latter.
And so, as it has been recalledthrough, your older sister, I

(08:41):
believe it was you, Of course itwas.
You're three, you guys are 18months apart.
And so as the youngest, I mean,you're like, look, you're,
you're like in fifth grade and Iget to pop the bubble of a fifth
grader that.
Too much temptation.
I mean, it's one thing to resistfellow third graders, uh, fellow

(09:02):
second graders, but a fifthgrader getting ready to go on to
sixth grade, which kind of putsyou in the big kid club.
Well, I would've been in firstgrade if she, if Elena's in
fifth grade.
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
In grade, first grade.
Oh, wow.
That's even huge.
That's, yeah, that makes sense.
That makes the bubble evenbigger.
And the words come out, well,you, you do know Santa Claus
isn't real.

(09:22):
I mean, your parents bring youthe.
and all of a sudden I think thereality that whatever doubts
there were come into to play andthis gout just burst into tears
and then runs into a bathroom,as seems to be the tendency of

(09:43):
females, like when you're reallyupset and you want to get away,
you run to the bathroom andlocks herself in the.
And of course we leave the messto mom to clean up.
Who has to Classic.
Oh yeah.
I'm not there.
I think I'm at work.
I think this is like a, ofcourse you are not there.
That would only make sense.
Yeah.

(10:04):
Well also, what would you havedone?
You knocking on the door?
Yeah.
Who would've made it worse?
Oh, I would've made it terriblyworse because I would never been
able to.
Be laughing loudly, whichwould've been worse.
So a hundred percent.
It was probably for the best.
You weren't there, but also ofcourse you weren't, and mom has
to try to figure out how toconsole.

(10:26):
Well, yes.
No.
So mom has to, no, mom has tocall this girl's mother.
This is, this becomes a momalert and apologize for the fact
that that one of you and I'm hastold her daughter.
The cannons of her, uh, SantaClaus belief system have been,

(10:49):
have been burst, and the momliterally has to come to the
house and pick her up and takeher home.
Yeah, I mean also, I mean, if asa parent now, A lot of parents
have fun with doing Santa Clausand playing with this.
I'm pretty sure this girl wasthe youngest daughter as well.

(11:12):
So this is her last kid thatprobably believes in Santa
Claus, right?
So we're really not just ruiningit for the child, we're also
ruining it for the mom that shewon't now get to do this again
until she has grandchildren.
We put a necessary ending ontoit.
It's, I find the irony, andI'll, I'll close this story with

(11:33):
the irony is that one of the,uh, one of the criticisms or
sort of mocking of Christianityalways is like, oh, you
fundamentalist, or youliteralist, which we take the
Bible lit as a, as a literaturepiece.
Not literally, but at any rate,that's always sort of a.
a rock that people like to throwand yet the, the Santa

(11:55):
Fundamentalist.
I mean, you, you must have achimney, an order for Santa
because you have violated thecannon, the, the reindeer
landing on your roof.
I don't know, just, just astrange story.
Wouldn't have the whole, thatwhole concept wouldn't have even
worked today in our wokesociety.
You're not even allowed to giveexpensive.
Well, I agree with this concept,but they're like, please don't

(12:16):
have Santa bring reallyexpensive gifts because then
when they go to school, childrenthat don't get expensive gifts
wonder why Santa brought you aniPad and then socks.
Oh my gosh.
But that's a f I think that's ifyou're gonna perpetuate Santa, I
think that makes sense.
Continue.
Sorry, you wrap up the story.
How families handle Santa, Elfon the Shelf.

(12:38):
It's a matter for parents todecide, and it should be fun in
whatever we do.
But kids should be participatingin the true Christmas story as
well.
That's critical to our faith.
Families that want to havejoyful kids, it really comes
down to in life, who we fear,love, and trust.
Merry Christmas.

(12:59):
The ultimate battle for theheart and soul is a fight for
identity.
Our king invites our kids toknow who they are, what to
believe, and where they belong.
Until next time, let's rememberthe words for theirs is the
Kingdom of Heaven.